Eng Tag

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<b><font face="Rockwell" color="#FFFF00">Re-Sync & Improved By: FidelPerez</font></b>
<b><font face="Rockwell" color="#966FD6">Subtitle By: explosiveskull</font></b>
<b><font face="Rockwell" color="#00FFFF">Sub Upload Date: August 12, 2018</font></b>

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<i>Someone once said, "We don't stop playing
because we grow old.</i>

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<i>"We grow old because
we stop playing."</i>

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<i>When you're a kid,
you can't imagine</i>

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<i>having any other group
of friends.</i>

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<i>You think you're gonna be
buddies forever.</i>

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<i>Of course, for most people,
that just doesn't happen.</i>

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<i>But my friends and I, we
figured out a way around that.</i>

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<i>We just never stopped playing.</i>

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<i>And I like to think that
simple thing, playing a game</i>

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<i>is what made me the man
I am today.</i>

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So, the man you are today
wants to be a janitor.

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Yes.

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Look, Dr. Malloy,
I'm looking at your resume.

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It says you got a Ph.D.
in veterinary medicine

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and that you actually have a
successful practice right now.

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Look, there comes a time
in every man's life

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where you just
gotta take stock.

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Ask yourself, "What's really important?
What's on your bucket list?"

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So, let me get this straight.

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On your bucket list, you don't have,
like, skydiving or rock climbing

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or tap dancing, maybe?
Dancing with wolves?

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Which I believe
that has to be a thing.

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They wouldn't have made a
movie if it wasn't, you know?

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All I know is that, for me,
what I really want

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is to clean the urine off
of that man's toilet seat.

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Talking about the boss.

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Mr. Callahan.

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Yeah, he's a great man.
This is a great company.

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Anything I can do to get closer
to that guy, sign me up.

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Okay, look, man.

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Honestly, any other situation,
I would just tell you

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to get the fuck out my office,
okay?

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But we do need the help,
so when can you start?

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I've already begun.

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What the fuck was that?

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- Uh...
- I haven't even opened that yet.

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Uh... I'm sorry.
I was trying to be proactive.

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Today. I can start today.

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- Why don't I get you another Coke?
- You do that, we good.

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- Okay.
- But don't throw away no more new stuff.

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You will not be disappointed.

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We don't have to
shake hands, man.

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- Okay. I'll be right back.
- Sure.

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White people.

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All right, Bob. You're the CEO
of a <i>Fortune</i> 800 company.

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You have commanded the respect
of coworkers and vendors alike

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and that is why you're being
interviewed by the big boys.

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<i>The Wall Street Journal.</i>

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- Miss Crosby.
- Oh, hi.

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- Hi. Bob Callahan.
- Rebecca.

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- Thank you so much for taking the time.
- Oh, thank you.

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Should we just get
right into it?

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- Yeah, let's jump right in.
- All right. Well, here's what I would love

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for your readers to know
about our company.

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We are young. We are dynamic.
We are fun.

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Uh... So let's talk
about diabetes.

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Mr. Callahan, how do you respond to
the idea that your industry uses

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captive insurance to move
risk off balance sheets?

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Well, great question.

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Tough, but fair.

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Um... I guess I would say that
what I love about Freedom Atlantic

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is that we're not like
other insurance companies.

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Uh... We're big, but small.

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Small.

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We are, um...

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You know, we're complex...

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Uh... And yet...
And yet also simple.

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And we are global...

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- Yet local.
- That's exactly right.

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Sorry, one second. Hey, could you
maybe come back at another time?

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We're just right in the middle
of something. Sir?

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I'm afraid not, Bob.

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Jesus Christ, Hoagie!

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What are you doing here?
How did you get past security?

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I didn't. I work here.

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You got a job at my company,
so you could try to tag me?

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Come on, Bob, it's over.

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You don't think I can escape
from my own conference room?

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- Where are you gonna go?
- Well, guess what?

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Watch now,
'cause this is happening.

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- God.
- God dang it!

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- Oh... Ouch.
- You okay?

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God! Okay. You're right.

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It's over.

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- Yeah, I know.
- Well, you're it.

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All right. It's good to see you.
Good to see you, pal.

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- Good to see you.
- Have you lost weight?

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Yeah, a little bit.
Hey, listen, this is serious.

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Um... Jerry's quitting.

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What? Bullshit!

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I swear to God. End of this
season, he's retiring.

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Well, okay. But I am in the middle
of an interview. So can I...

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- <i>Wall Street Journal,</i> that's so cool!
- Oh, thank you.

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No, thank you, by the way, 'cause
this was the distraction I needed.

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You get Bob talking
about himself,

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it is just a feedback loop.
Non-stop.

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- Can we talk about this outside, please?
- Yeah.

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Can we talk outside?
I'll be right back. I promise.

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There's three days left
in May. That gives us 63 hours

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to round up the guys,
and get him.

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Great. We can talk about this
over dinner.

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What? No, no, no.
We have to go now!

104
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Don't you have bathrooms
to clean or something?

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- Technically, yes, I do.
- All right, you know what?

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Take this ridiculous thing off
and get to it

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We'll talk about this later.

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- I'll resign, Bob.
- You don't have to. You're fired.

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Good.
'Cause the benefits here suck!

110
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No, they don't.

111
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That's true.
Benefits are really good.

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Oh, hey, sorry about that.
Where were we?

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- Uh... Diabetes. Yes.
- Explain.

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Well, I'm not a doctor,
but there are two types.

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Type one is called "Type One."

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And Type Two is more
of an adult onset.

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No. Him.

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- What are you doing?
- Hoagie, what do you want?

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You tagged me. I'm it, okay?

120
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You're sitting there
like I didn't just tell you

121
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we gotta deal
with this right now.

122
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Because we got a real shot
at Jerry this year.

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You say that every year.

124
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Yeah, but this year's
different.

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You say that every year.

126
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- But this year's really different.
- You said that last year.

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I know, you're right.

128
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But this year's
actually different.

129
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Because

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we know exactly where
he's going to be and when.

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"The wedding celebration of Susan
and Jerry. Saturday, May 31st."

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He's a sitting duck!

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We gotta join forces.
We get Jerry now,

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or we die.

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What?

136
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Eventually.
You know what I mean.

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Come on, Bob.

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You gonna grow old,
or you gonna keep playing?

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Keep playing.

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That is the right answer.

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- Nice to meet you.
- I'm sorry, I have to go.

142
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No.

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Hold on. Hold on.

144
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I can't believe he's getting
married, and he didn't even tell us.

145
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I know, I was mad
at first, too, and then hurt.

146
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But, you know, he just realized
he'd be a sitting target.

147
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That's insane, even for him.

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Will one of you please tell me
what's going on here?

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- Are we off the record?
- No, definitely not.

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Awesome. Okay. Our group of
friends has been playing

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the same game of tag
for 30 years.

152
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- What?
- For the entire month of May, every year, we play tag.

153
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Just like when we were kids.

154
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But we're not on a playground, and
we all live in different cities.

155
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So, well, you don't ever know
when someone's gonna pop up.

156
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You could be shopping at the mall,
then your buddy jumps out of the trunk

157
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and, boom, tags you.
You're it.

158
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Here's the craziest part.

159
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Our buddy, Jerry,
never been tagged.

160
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What do you mean
he's never been tagged?

161
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You never put your hand
on his body?

162
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Not during the month of May.
For like 30 years.

163
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Why don't you just go over
to his house, and tag him?

164
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- It's not that easy.
- Why not?

165
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Because...

166
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<i>Well, for starters, because
he is so freaking fast.</i>

167
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<i>You just can't catch him.</i>

168
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<i>Yeah, and if you do
manage to catch him,</i>

169
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<i>then he goes feral and turns into
some kind of crazy wild animal.</i>

170
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<i>And if you manage
to trap the wild animal,</i>

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<i>he still finds a way.</i>

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<i>What just happened there?</i>

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To this day, I have no idea.
No idea.

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He's the best
that ever played. Yeah.

175
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Yeah.

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And now he wants to retire
with a perfect record,

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make us all look like fools.

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- Fools!
- He gets very excited.

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There he is.

180
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- Wait, you're not leaving.
- Look, Miss Crosby, I apologize.

181
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I will have someone from my
office reach out to you.

182
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We will reschedule this
as soon as I'm back in town.

183
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Nope.

184
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- Nope?
- No. Change of plan.

185
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I'm coming with you.
This is a story.

186
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- What? No.
- Yes. This is the coolest game ever.

187
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I don't think that's gonna be
her angle.

188
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I don't know what my angle is,

189
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but I do find it very interesting
that we live in a world

190
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where grown men
take an entire month

191
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out of every year
to play a child's game.

192
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It's very interesting.
You're right. Let's go.

193
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I don't think she means
interesting in a good way.

194
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- Get in, Bob.
- Fine! Fuck it, I'm going.

195
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All right,
it's all ready for you, Dad.

196
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Hey! Thank you. Thank you.

197
00:09:50,443 --> 00:09:54,111
I'll be honest with you.
Ever since my wife died,

198
00:09:54,113 --> 00:09:56,448
you've really been the rock
holding me down.

199
00:10:01,553 --> 00:10:03,018
So, thank you.

200
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,654
Well, I appreciate that...

201
00:10:05,656 --> 00:10:07,558
But your wife is not dead.

202
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She's dead to me.

203
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What?

204
00:10:12,995 --> 00:10:15,162
Yeah.

205
00:10:15,164 --> 00:10:16,630
- That's right.
- That's right.

206
00:10:16,632 --> 00:10:19,266
Listen to me.

207
00:10:19,268 --> 00:10:22,736
"To live in the past is
to die in the present."

208
00:10:22,738 --> 00:10:24,070
Now, who said that?

209
00:10:24,072 --> 00:10:26,639
- You did.
- Bill Belichick said that!

210
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God love him. Yes, sir.

211
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All right, I'm gonna get us
more weed.

212
00:10:29,678 --> 00:10:30,976
God bless you, son.

213
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Damn, that was fast!

214
00:10:39,285 --> 00:10:40,752
- Hey!
- Hey, Anna.

215
00:10:40,754 --> 00:10:42,955
- Hey, Chilli. How are you?
- Good, nice to see you.

216
00:10:42,957 --> 00:10:44,255
What are you doing here?

217
00:10:44,257 --> 00:10:47,658
I was... Um...
Was walking by

218
00:10:47,660 --> 00:10:50,627
and thought I'd pop in
and say hi to you and Roger.

219
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Yeah, we're doing great.
Where's Hoagie?

220
00:10:53,065 --> 00:10:55,499
Oh, um...
He's um... You know...

221
00:10:55,501 --> 00:10:59,203
- Oh, shit!
- Hogan's in the library.

222
00:11:00,238 --> 00:11:02,273
Dad, what month is it?

223
00:11:03,407 --> 00:11:05,273
May.

224
00:11:05,275 --> 00:11:07,375
Mmm-mmm.
You're not getting by me.

225
00:11:10,380 --> 00:11:11,779
Anna, are you okay?

226
00:11:11,781 --> 00:11:14,014
He's loose! He's loose!

227
00:11:14,016 --> 00:11:16,552
Fuck it. Hogan, honey,
he's coming.

228
00:11:17,653 --> 00:11:20,256
He's heading down
the east stairwell.

229
00:11:26,996 --> 00:11:28,996
- Hey. Hogan!
- Hey, Chilli!

230
00:11:28,998 --> 00:11:31,229
I haven't seen you in a while, man.
How's everything?

231
00:11:31,231 --> 00:11:32,865
Pretty good.
Yeah, what about you?

232
00:11:32,867 --> 00:11:34,967
- Everything's good, man. Yeah, work.
- You sure?

233
00:11:34,969 --> 00:11:37,003
I mean, I'm going through that divorce,
but everything's fine. It's fine.

234
00:11:37,005 --> 00:11:39,069
Hey, also, side note. Stop
bringing your wife into this, man.

235
00:11:39,071 --> 00:11:41,606
That's bullshit. She's way
too intense for the game.

236
00:11:41,608 --> 00:11:43,608
You're just jealous
'cause she's such a badass.

237
00:11:43,610 --> 00:11:46,043
She's my secret weapon. Kind of
worked 'cause you're trapped.

238
00:11:46,045 --> 00:11:47,578
- Am I trapped?
- Yeah.

239
00:11:47,580 --> 00:11:49,180
I am?

240
00:11:50,883 --> 00:11:53,082
Damn you, Chilli!

241
00:11:58,790 --> 00:12:00,890
No!

242
00:12:00,892 --> 00:12:03,060
Jesus, Chilli! That's trash!

243
00:12:16,706 --> 00:12:18,138
Fuck me!

244
00:12:18,140 --> 00:12:19,642
Hey, Martin!

245
00:12:20,843 --> 00:12:22,377
Hi. Sorry.

246
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:39,791
Excuse me, Mrs. Martin, coming through.
Coming through.

247
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:41,528
Sorry, sorry, sorry.

248
00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:45,599
Oh, my God!
I'm so sorry. So sorry.

249
00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:47,700
Wow. Okay.

250
00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:52,136
Get him, Andy!

251
00:13:04,749 --> 00:13:06,283
Chilli, Chilli, Chilli...

252
00:13:08,218 --> 00:13:09,851
Chilli! No, no, no!

253
00:13:09,853 --> 00:13:11,753
No! No!

254
00:13:24,633 --> 00:13:26,332
Oh, fuck!

255
00:13:26,334 --> 00:13:28,534
You okay, buddy?

256
00:13:28,536 --> 00:13:32,137
Oh, just great. Great.

257
00:13:32,139 --> 00:13:34,706
You ain't getting me today, man.
I'm not losing.

258
00:13:34,708 --> 00:13:37,678
- There's only one problem, Chilli.
- Oh, yeah? What's that?

259
00:13:38,612 --> 00:13:40,946
I'm not it.

260
00:13:40,948 --> 00:13:43,814
- The fuck you mean you're not it?
- I am, motherfucker!

261
00:13:47,420 --> 00:13:50,186
- It! Come on, get up.
- Goddamn!

262
00:13:50,188 --> 00:13:52,123
- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

263
00:13:52,125 --> 00:13:54,958
- You took a pretty big hit there. My God.
- Yeah, I thought I got away.

264
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:57,093
- Set him up. Knock him down.
- Oh, my God!

265
00:13:57,095 --> 00:13:59,062
- Good idea.
- All right, fair and square. I'm it, right?

266
00:13:59,064 --> 00:14:01,031
- Yes.
- And now you're it.

267
00:14:01,033 --> 00:14:02,464
- Nope.
- Yeah.

268
00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:04,700
Nope. I'm not taking it.

269
00:14:04,702 --> 00:14:06,068
No, I'm not. No!

270
00:14:06,070 --> 00:14:07,235
- No.
- We're not...

271
00:14:07,237 --> 00:14:08,605
Guys, we're too old...

272
00:14:11,075 --> 00:14:12,674
No, don't start hitting.

273
00:14:12,676 --> 00:14:14,678
No, no, you're it.
I don't know who...

274
00:14:15,344 --> 00:14:16,644
You're it.

275
00:14:16,646 --> 00:14:18,245
- Guys, guys, guys!
- This is ridiculous.

276
00:14:18,247 --> 00:14:21,548
Son of a bitch!
You sack punched me!

277
00:14:21,550 --> 00:14:23,350
Yeah, you went crazy,
and now you're it.

278
00:14:23,352 --> 00:14:24,584
- Sorry.
- Okay, I'm it.

279
00:14:24,586 --> 00:14:26,619
- Truce, truce, truce.
- Deal.

280
00:14:26,621 --> 00:14:28,623
This isn't about us anyway.

281
00:14:30,458 --> 00:14:32,158
This is the year we get Jerry.

282
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,126
- No, we're not gonna get Jerry.
- No, That's what you think.

283
00:14:34,128 --> 00:14:37,264
I said the same thing.
We got a plan, all right?

284
00:14:38,465 --> 00:14:39,864
Guys! Guys, let's go.

285
00:14:39,866 --> 00:14:42,434
She's so intense, man.
She takes it too far.

286
00:14:42,436 --> 00:14:44,234
You know what?
If it wasn't for me,

287
00:14:44,236 --> 00:14:46,171
you guys would be day drunk playing
mini-golf with 12-year-olds.

288
00:14:46,173 --> 00:14:48,539
Let's go. I know where Sable is.
Get in the car, ladies.

289
00:14:48,541 --> 00:14:50,908
Yeah, we're going right to the
airport, so grab a bag, grab a...

290
00:14:50,910 --> 00:14:52,843
- A toothbrush or whatever.
- I'm good. Let's go.

291
00:14:52,845 --> 00:14:54,444
- Really?
- Wow!

292
00:14:54,446 --> 00:14:55,845
- That's gross.
- He's gung-ho. That's good.

293
00:14:55,847 --> 00:14:57,880
Hey, Rebecca,
we're gonna go get Sable now.

294
00:14:57,882 --> 00:14:59,350
Who is Sable?

295
00:15:02,020 --> 00:15:04,486
<i>I know you think
she's not cheating on me.</i>

296
00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:06,988
<i>But what about
the possibility of</i>

297
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:09,524
her knowing that I'm following
her to Pilates class,

298
00:15:09,526 --> 00:15:11,492
and on the days when it's not
Pilates class

299
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:15,298
that's when she has all the
free time to ride random dick.

300
00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:18,899
Okay, riding dicks.

301
00:15:18,901 --> 00:15:22,569
Kevin, you're really focused
on other dicks.

302
00:15:22,571 --> 00:15:24,237
But what about yours?

303
00:15:24,239 --> 00:15:25,872
- What about you?
- If you don't focus on the other dicks,

304
00:15:25,874 --> 00:15:28,675
those dicks will plug up
the places you wanna go.

305
00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:33,378
What about mentally going into
each of those holes

306
00:15:33,380 --> 00:15:35,781
and unplugging
every one of those dicks.

307
00:15:35,783 --> 00:15:39,017
Pulling out, pulling out,
pulling out, pulling out.

308
00:15:39,019 --> 00:15:42,020
And then you have a clear mind.
Dickless.

309
00:15:42,022 --> 00:15:46,289
Well, I'm paranoid that my original
paranoia might turn on my paranoia.

310
00:15:46,291 --> 00:15:49,894
It sounds like there are some
fundamental trust issues.

311
00:15:49,896 --> 00:15:50,994
You can't trust anybody.

312
00:15:50,996 --> 00:15:52,562
I don't think
anyone's out to get you.

313
00:15:52,564 --> 00:15:54,363
I don't think
anyone is following you.

314
00:15:54,365 --> 00:15:56,565
I can't take it anymore.

315
00:15:56,567 --> 00:15:58,567
I can't take it.
I can't listen to this.

316
00:15:58,569 --> 00:16:00,438
Are you shushing me?

317
00:16:01,739 --> 00:16:03,373
Stop!

318
00:16:04,274 --> 00:16:05,810
What the fuck?

319
00:16:06,944 --> 00:16:08,576
Oh, wow!

320
00:16:08,578 --> 00:16:10,311
- Doc!
- You're there.

321
00:16:10,313 --> 00:16:12,447
Hi, Hogan. Nice to meet you.

322
00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:13,882
Bob Callahan. How do you do?

323
00:16:13,884 --> 00:16:15,449
- Sorry, this is a terrible idea.
- Who are you?

324
00:16:15,451 --> 00:16:17,651
We're friends of Sable's.

325
00:16:17,653 --> 00:16:19,686
We thought it'd be really
funny to hide in there

326
00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:22,256
but then we overheard
way too much.

327
00:16:22,258 --> 00:16:24,490
Yeah, buddy, you're clearly
going through a lot of shit.

328
00:16:24,492 --> 00:16:25,926
All right, get here, man.

329
00:16:25,928 --> 00:16:28,694
And, also, you're it.

330
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:31,098
I don't care. I miss you.
How are you, buddy?

331
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:32,698
- I'm good.
- Yup.

332
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,267
- Now you're it.
- I know, I know, I'm it.

333
00:16:34,269 --> 00:16:36,701
Anyway, yeah, we came to
get you, so, come on.

334
00:16:36,703 --> 00:16:38,503
- Sable.
- Come on.

335
00:16:38,505 --> 00:16:40,939
I got 40 minutes
left in the session.

336
00:16:40,941 --> 00:16:43,674
- So what? This is important.
- Yeah.

337
00:16:43,676 --> 00:16:46,412
Pack your bags.
We're goin' home.

338
00:16:48,514 --> 00:16:49,747
I don't have my bags here.

339
00:16:49,749 --> 00:16:50,915
- Yeah, we know.
- Obviously.

340
00:16:50,917 --> 00:16:52,582
- For fuck's sake.
- I know that...

341
00:16:52,584 --> 00:16:54,084
We'll just go by your house
and get your stuff.

342
00:16:54,086 --> 00:16:55,618
You should've just went
to my house in the first place

343
00:16:55,620 --> 00:16:57,453
if we were gonna go
to my house anyway.

344
00:16:57,455 --> 00:16:58,888
- This seemed like a better idea.
- It was a whole bit! Let's go.

345
00:16:58,890 --> 00:17:00,355
Yeah, come on,
we'll figure it out.

346
00:17:00,357 --> 00:17:02,258
Okay, you'll still owe me
for this hour.

347
00:17:02,260 --> 00:17:05,020
- Thanks, Doctor.
- You guys aren't taking my mental health seriously.

348
00:17:28,416 --> 00:17:30,950
Look at those little assholes.

349
00:17:30,952 --> 00:17:33,452
- Calm down.
- It's awful to be back.

350
00:17:33,454 --> 00:17:35,022
It's gonna be fun.

351
00:17:57,142 --> 00:17:59,010
Ah! It still smells the same.

352
00:18:01,312 --> 00:18:03,147
Uh... Here we go.

353
00:18:08,619 --> 00:18:10,554
All right!

354
00:18:19,128 --> 00:18:20,696
Oh!

355
00:18:23,665 --> 00:18:26,199
Okay, yeah.

356
00:18:26,201 --> 00:18:32,404
- Oh, yeah, it's still there.
- Guys, we're back in the war room.

357
00:18:32,406 --> 00:18:35,474
- You know what that means.
- No, I don't know what that means.

358
00:18:35,476 --> 00:18:38,143
It means we're going to war, Sable.
Now, just to be clear,

359
00:18:38,145 --> 00:18:41,846
we're not gonna tag Jerry at
the actual wedding ceremony

360
00:18:41,848 --> 00:18:44,316
because, frankly, that would
make us giant assholes.

361
00:18:44,318 --> 00:18:46,083
I'm sorry. I thought that was
the whole point of this.

362
00:18:46,085 --> 00:18:48,886
I took two weeks unpaid
vacation for that exact reason.

363
00:18:48,888 --> 00:18:50,587
- Two weeks?
- Yeah.

364
00:18:50,589 --> 00:18:52,455
I'm going zip-lining
after this.

365
00:18:52,457 --> 00:18:55,859
Okay. There's gonna be plenty of
time to get him before the ceremony.

366
00:18:55,861 --> 00:18:57,827
There's the rehearsal dinner.

367
00:18:57,829 --> 00:19:00,629
There's a luncheon, photo shoot. Just
don't worry. We're gonna get him.

368
00:19:00,631 --> 00:19:03,933
Very official plan. Who wants to
smoke some weed with me? Sable!

369
00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:05,301
I'll take a toke.

370
00:19:05,303 --> 00:19:07,069
What?

371
00:19:07,071 --> 00:19:11,439
Yeah, I've been, you know,
experimenting with pot recently.

372
00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:13,241
Mostly medicinal, but hey.

373
00:19:13,243 --> 00:19:18,313
I've wanted to get high with
you my entire life, Hogan.

374
00:19:18,315 --> 00:19:19,913
- Honestly.
- Let's do it.

375
00:19:19,915 --> 00:19:21,717
- This is the best gift of all time.
- Okay.

376
00:19:23,018 --> 00:19:25,653
This is exactly how I
imagined it, by the way.

377
00:19:28,690 --> 00:19:30,089
Hoagie's mom.

378
00:19:30,091 --> 00:19:33,895
I've got pizza rolls
for my pizza roll boys.

379
00:19:34,429 --> 00:19:35,829
Pizza rolls.

380
00:19:38,433 --> 00:19:40,532
Is that marijuana I smell?

381
00:19:43,837 --> 00:19:45,502
No. What?

382
00:19:45,504 --> 00:19:47,004
It's my pot. I'm really sorry.

383
00:19:47,006 --> 00:19:48,739
I was smoking pot.
It's an old habit.

384
00:19:48,741 --> 00:19:52,144
Oh, so it's your weedie.

385
00:19:53,578 --> 00:19:55,645
I think I'm getting
a contact high.

386
00:19:55,647 --> 00:19:57,880
- Okay.
- Hits me deep.

387
00:19:57,882 --> 00:19:59,514
Below the belt, you know.

388
00:19:59,516 --> 00:20:00,750
I've got a belt upstairs.

389
00:20:00,752 --> 00:20:03,152
I use it
on naughty little boys.

390
00:20:05,457 --> 00:20:07,589
What the fuck is going on?

391
00:20:07,591 --> 00:20:09,523
I hope you don't hurt
those boys.

392
00:20:09,525 --> 00:20:10,727
I don't mean to.

393
00:20:11,962 --> 00:20:13,561
It was really nice
speaking with you.

394
00:20:13,563 --> 00:20:15,830
- Thank you for the pizza rolls.
- Mom...

395
00:20:15,832 --> 00:20:18,733
Stop flirting
with Chilli.

396
00:20:18,735 --> 00:20:21,634
Linda, have you seen
Jerry lately?

397
00:20:21,636 --> 00:20:23,570
I mean, do you still
play tennis with his mom?

398
00:20:23,572 --> 00:20:25,872
Because we need to find him before
the wedding and we've got no clues.

399
00:20:25,874 --> 00:20:27,841
I don't even talk to her.
I never see her at the club.

400
00:20:27,843 --> 00:20:31,610
But I'm thrilled for Jerry.
Susan is such a nice girl.

401
00:20:31,612 --> 00:20:34,046
- We just need the information.
- We need to find him. Yeah.

402
00:20:34,048 --> 00:20:36,181
Have you taken the guys
over to the Sandpiper?

403
00:20:36,183 --> 00:20:41,353
Lou does nothing but talk about
you and the old days and Jerry.

404
00:20:41,355 --> 00:20:43,087
You know, I think he's lonely.

405
00:20:43,089 --> 00:20:45,555
Okay, that's not helpful.
But it...

406
00:20:45,557 --> 00:20:46,924
Oh, my God!

407
00:20:46,926 --> 00:20:48,092
Lou knows everything
going on in this town.

408
00:20:48,094 --> 00:20:50,228
Guys, we're going
to the Sandpiper.

409
00:20:50,230 --> 00:20:53,430
I don't wanna go to the Sandpiper.
I'm having a great time here.

410
00:20:53,432 --> 00:20:55,765
I miss this basement.
We don't have any more beer.

411
00:20:55,767 --> 00:20:56,935
Let's go to Sandpiper.

412
00:21:09,546 --> 00:21:11,212
Lou!

413
00:21:11,214 --> 00:21:14,215
Gentlemen! And ladies.

414
00:21:14,217 --> 00:21:17,117
How are you guys? Hey, we have
new summer stouts on draft.

415
00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:20,054
Lou, we don't give a shit about summer
stouts. We're just looking for Jerry.

416
00:21:20,056 --> 00:21:22,990
Ooh! I hate to be the bearer
of bad tidings, Anna,

417
00:21:22,992 --> 00:21:25,125
but you are technically
still banned from here.

418
00:21:25,127 --> 00:21:28,529
- What? Still?
- What? It was dollar margarita night, Lou.

419
00:21:28,531 --> 00:21:29,796
Hey, I don't make the rules.

420
00:21:29,798 --> 00:21:30,963
Fuck you, Lou.

421
00:21:30,965 --> 00:21:32,298
You know something
about Jerry,

422
00:21:32,300 --> 00:21:35,368
I can see it in your eyes,
you rat fuck.

423
00:21:35,370 --> 00:21:36,868
I don't know where Jerry is.

424
00:21:36,870 --> 00:21:38,470
Fuck you. Tell us.

425
00:21:38,472 --> 00:21:42,309
I'm sorry, Lou. I'm so sorry.

426
00:21:43,377 --> 00:21:44,675
How are you? How's your mom?

427
00:21:44,677 --> 00:21:45,976
- Fantastic.
- Oh, that's good.

428
00:21:45,978 --> 00:21:47,912
- Fit as a fiddle.
- Tell her I said hi.

429
00:21:47,914 --> 00:21:49,612
- I will, for sure.
- And fuck you. I don't wanna be in this bar anyway.

430
00:21:49,614 --> 00:21:51,115
- Okay, okay.
- We're gonna wait outside.

431
00:21:51,117 --> 00:21:53,551
Look forward to catching up
with y'all.

432
00:21:53,553 --> 00:21:56,586
Listen, I'll tell you everything
you need to know about Jerry

433
00:21:56,588 --> 00:22:01,357
if you tag me just one time.
It is all I ask. I will spill.

434
00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:03,259
Why can't I tag ya?

435
00:22:03,261 --> 00:22:05,961
Because I'm not
officially in the game.

436
00:22:05,963 --> 00:22:07,396
What's the good word, Lou?

437
00:22:07,398 --> 00:22:09,697
We don't stop playing
'cause we grow old,

438
00:22:09,699 --> 00:22:11,699
we grow old because
we stop playing.

439
00:22:11,701 --> 00:22:13,402
You are not part of this game.

440
00:22:13,404 --> 00:22:14,602
Benjamin Franklin.

441
00:22:14,604 --> 00:22:16,437
- Lou.
- Yeah?

442
00:22:16,439 --> 00:22:17,939
Where's Jerry?

443
00:22:17,941 --> 00:22:19,108
I'm afraid I can't help
you out with that, boys.

444
00:22:19,110 --> 00:22:21,074
- Really?
- Yeah, you see,

445
00:22:21,076 --> 00:22:22,742
Jerry and I have struck
a little deal.

446
00:22:22,744 --> 00:22:24,177
I say nothing
about his whereabouts,

447
00:22:24,179 --> 00:22:26,146
and then I get to play
tag next year.

448
00:22:26,148 --> 00:22:27,980
- Jerry made that deal with you?
- Oh, yeah.

449
00:22:27,982 --> 00:22:30,683
And I am unbreakable, boys.

450
00:22:30,685 --> 00:22:32,918
Cannot penetrate
this Iron Curtain.

451
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,588
The vault is closed.

452
00:22:35,590 --> 00:22:36,955
Well, Lou,
that is a real shame

453
00:22:36,957 --> 00:22:38,790
because I was gonna
introduce you to Rebecca,

454
00:22:38,792 --> 00:22:42,560
who is writing an article about
tag for <i>The Wall Street Journal.</i>

455
00:22:42,562 --> 00:22:43,795
- How cool is that?
- So cool.

456
00:22:43,797 --> 00:22:45,230
Isn't that exciting?

457
00:22:45,232 --> 00:22:47,332
Is there any way that Lou
could be in your article?

458
00:22:47,334 --> 00:22:48,566
Oh, yeah.

459
00:22:48,568 --> 00:22:50,300
Right? It's an interesting
angle, right?

460
00:22:50,302 --> 00:22:52,169
Probably has to be a story
for that to happen, right?

461
00:22:52,171 --> 00:22:53,669
What do you mean
there has to be a story?

462
00:22:53,671 --> 00:22:56,639
I mean, no Jerry, no story.

463
00:22:56,641 --> 00:22:58,207
You need Jerry for the story?

464
00:22:58,209 --> 00:22:59,976
Could you imagine that thing
printed out here, framed?

465
00:22:59,978 --> 00:23:01,511
- Hanging on the wall? With this guy?
- Yeah.

466
00:23:01,513 --> 00:23:03,346
Which will get published
everywhere. Everyone will see.

467
00:23:03,348 --> 00:23:04,946
- Nationally.
- Don't you wanna be in the article?

468
00:23:04,948 --> 00:23:07,416
Yeah, dude. I would love to be
in an article.

469
00:23:07,418 --> 00:23:09,351
Well, we're not gonna
break Fort Knox here.

470
00:23:09,353 --> 00:23:10,852
Fuck, man. All right.

471
00:23:10,854 --> 00:23:12,653
- I was really excited about that, too.
- Good to see you, buddy.

472
00:23:12,655 --> 00:23:14,322
Look, look, look.

473
00:23:16,859 --> 00:23:18,627
My mom talked to his mom

474
00:23:18,629 --> 00:23:21,694
and she said that the rehearsal is
at the Deer Creek Country Club.

475
00:23:21,696 --> 00:23:23,197
- Deer Creek.
- There it is.

476
00:23:23,199 --> 00:23:25,165
Anyways, the name is
Louis Seibert. That's S-E-I...

477
00:23:25,167 --> 00:23:27,934
- I'll remember that. Thank you.
- She's got great memory.

478
00:23:27,936 --> 00:23:29,369
Big Lou, thank you, buddy.

479
00:23:29,371 --> 00:23:31,251
- Yeah, you bet.
- Thank you, thank you.

480
00:23:32,740 --> 00:23:34,239
Oh, hello, Miss Rollins?

481
00:23:34,241 --> 00:23:36,708
This is Margaret from
the Deer Creek Country Club.

482
00:23:36,710 --> 00:23:38,343
I'm just calling
to let you know,

483
00:23:38,345 --> 00:23:40,245
we won't be able
to refund your deposit

484
00:23:40,247 --> 00:23:42,447
since you canceled the rehearsal
on such short notice.

485
00:23:42,449 --> 00:23:44,516
<i>- What? Oh, my God.
- I think you have a mistake here.</i>

486
00:23:44,518 --> 00:23:46,751
<i>We didn't
cancel the reception.</i>

487
00:23:46,753 --> 00:23:48,952
I'm afraid we have
unfortunately booked

488
00:23:48,954 --> 00:23:51,021
something else
in that time slot now.

489
00:23:51,023 --> 00:23:53,524
- A quinceanera.
- A quinceanera.

490
00:23:53,526 --> 00:23:55,592
<i>- A what?
- The fuck's a quinceanera?</i>

491
00:23:55,594 --> 00:23:57,194
A celebration of womanhood.

492
00:23:57,196 --> 00:23:58,928
It's a celebration
of womanhood.

493
00:23:58,930 --> 00:24:00,729
<i>- This is bullshit.
- Oh, my God!</i>

494
00:24:00,731 --> 00:24:02,133
<i>We're coming
to the club right now.</i>

495
00:24:34,262 --> 00:24:36,029
Hello?

496
00:24:38,799 --> 00:24:40,267
Hello?

497
00:24:44,304 --> 00:24:45,439
Hello, boys.

498
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:48,709
Who is it?

499
00:24:49,342 --> 00:24:51,075
I am.

500
00:24:51,077 --> 00:24:52,844
<i>Callahan approaches
from the left.</i>

501
00:24:55,180 --> 00:24:56,982
<i>Engage no contact protocol.</i>

502
00:24:58,917 --> 00:25:01,019
<i>No hand shall touch my body.</i>

503
00:25:06,658 --> 00:25:09,591
<i>Mental note. Bob slapped
Hoagie with his hand.</i>

504
00:25:09,593 --> 00:25:11,462
<i>Hoagie is now it.</i>

505
00:25:14,931 --> 00:25:19,200
<i>Chilli. He dives at me
in a pussy-like fashion.</i>

506
00:25:19,202 --> 00:25:21,371
<i>Poor planning. Poor execution.</i>

507
00:25:24,806 --> 00:25:26,772
<i>Piece of cake.</i>

508
00:25:26,774 --> 00:25:28,541
<i>I head for the door to escape.</i>

509
00:25:28,543 --> 00:25:30,410
<i>Sable blocks it.</i>

510
00:25:30,412 --> 00:25:31,912
<i>It's showtime.</i>

511
00:25:34,148 --> 00:25:37,318
<i>Hoagie has tagged Sable.
He is now fair game.</i>

512
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:40,987
<i>I speedbag him.</i>

513
00:25:57,001 --> 00:25:58,936
Jerry! You okay?

514
00:26:00,138 --> 00:26:02,173
Oh, I've never been better.

515
00:26:02,907 --> 00:26:04,908
Welcome home, boys!

516
00:26:07,944 --> 00:26:09,244
Hey, who's this with ya?

517
00:26:09,246 --> 00:26:11,913
Oh, this is Rebecca.
She's a reporter.

518
00:26:11,915 --> 00:26:13,548
We're gonna be famous.

519
00:26:13,550 --> 00:26:16,016
Did they mention that I haven't
been tagged in 30 years

520
00:26:16,018 --> 00:26:17,585
'cause they suck at this game?

521
00:26:17,587 --> 00:26:19,721
- Extensively.
- Never been tagged. Just saying.

522
00:26:19,723 --> 00:26:22,189
I can't believe you would rather
not invite your closest friends

523
00:26:22,191 --> 00:26:23,956
to your wedding,
than risk getting tagged.

524
00:26:23,958 --> 00:26:27,093
Hey, Bob, look, you're here, ain't ya?
Right? I knew you'd come.

525
00:26:27,095 --> 00:26:29,095
Cookie, the
valet needs the keys.

526
00:26:29,098 --> 00:26:30,563
Hi, baby. Come here, honey.
Come here.

527
00:26:30,565 --> 00:26:32,831
We didn't invite you.

528
00:26:32,833 --> 00:26:34,266
- Yeah. Sorry.
- Guys.

529
00:26:34,268 --> 00:26:36,902
This is Susan,
my soon-to-be-bride.

530
00:26:36,904 --> 00:26:39,004
- Hi. Nice to meet you, Susan.
- Hey.

531
00:26:39,006 --> 00:26:40,372
- Hi.
- She'll explain why.

532
00:26:40,374 --> 00:26:42,708
It's just...
I know it sounds really crazy.

533
00:26:42,710 --> 00:26:46,277
Everyone on my mother's side
have had May weddings

534
00:26:46,279 --> 00:26:49,180
and I didn't want
my wedding ruined over...

535
00:26:49,182 --> 00:26:52,783
I mean, I swear,
I don't wanna be that woman

536
00:26:52,785 --> 00:26:57,354
but I do feel like that woman is kind
of understandable in this situation.

537
00:26:57,356 --> 00:26:59,322
Don't make excuses, baby.
You don't have to. Come on.

538
00:26:59,324 --> 00:27:00,523
Look, I already broke
a fucking window.

539
00:27:00,525 --> 00:27:02,259
What are we
gonna do here, guys?

540
00:27:03,994 --> 00:27:05,894
- Amendment.
- Amendment.

541
00:27:05,896 --> 00:27:09,964
- Amendment. All right. Get in here.
- Truce. Truce, bitches.

542
00:27:09,966 --> 00:27:12,967
No tag at the rehearsal.
No tag at the luncheon.

543
00:27:12,969 --> 00:27:17,003
No tag at the dinner, and do not
even mention tag at the ceremony.

544
00:27:17,005 --> 00:27:19,774
Ceremony.

545
00:27:19,776 --> 00:27:20,874
- We got it.
- Thank you.

546
00:27:20,876 --> 00:27:22,242
No way, I'm not signing this.

547
00:27:22,244 --> 00:27:23,778
You're officially
re-not invited, how's that?

548
00:27:23,780 --> 00:27:26,279
Okay, then fine. I'll crash
your fucking wedding,

549
00:27:26,281 --> 00:27:28,115
and I'll tag you as you try to
kiss your bride.

550
00:27:28,117 --> 00:27:29,483
Hey, hey, hey.

551
00:27:29,485 --> 00:27:31,550
Look, Susan.
You seem like a lovely person,

552
00:27:31,552 --> 00:27:33,886
and I'm sure
this will all be fine.

553
00:27:33,888 --> 00:27:37,090
We just need to formalize it, something
we've been doing a long time, and, uh...

554
00:27:37,692 --> 00:27:38,892
Sign it.

555
00:27:40,961 --> 00:27:42,794
What the...

556
00:27:42,796 --> 00:27:44,529
No mention of tag is...

557
00:27:44,531 --> 00:27:46,798
- Ridiculous.
- It's unreasonable.

558
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:48,365
Thank you, guys.

559
00:27:48,367 --> 00:27:49,669
Here.

560
00:27:50,636 --> 00:27:52,638
All right, boys.

561
00:27:55,341 --> 00:27:56,939
- All right.
- So good to see you, Bob.

562
00:27:56,941 --> 00:27:58,908
You know what? Don't touch
me, when we're on a truce.

563
00:27:58,910 --> 00:28:00,943
- It's very patronizing.
- Yeah, it's a little weird for me, too.

564
00:28:00,945 --> 00:28:03,011
Well, it was really nice
meeting everyone

565
00:28:03,013 --> 00:28:06,849
and I look forward to getting to
know you guys better this weekend.

566
00:28:06,851 --> 00:28:09,985
I don't know, I've just dreamt about
this day my whole life, so...

567
00:28:09,987 --> 00:28:12,487
- Congrats, Susan. We're happy for ya.
- It's gonna be great.

568
00:28:12,489 --> 00:28:14,756
- Thank you.
- It's really good to see you, boys.

569
00:28:14,758 --> 00:28:16,457
Cheers.

570
00:28:17,861 --> 00:28:19,328
Six tequilas, please.

571
00:28:22,698 --> 00:28:24,332
- To Jerry.
- Wait.

572
00:28:27,135 --> 00:28:30,002
So, boys, how did it go?

573
00:28:30,004 --> 00:28:31,236
- Not good.
- So bad.

574
00:28:31,238 --> 00:28:32,772
So, so bad.

575
00:28:32,774 --> 00:28:35,274
Did you guys just sign away
your chance to tag him?

576
00:28:35,276 --> 00:28:40,279
Yeah, but we're still okay, because
non-wedding times are fair game.

577
00:28:40,281 --> 00:28:41,647
We just gotta find
the right window.

578
00:28:41,649 --> 00:28:43,715
- What happened?
- He kicked our ass.

579
00:28:43,717 --> 00:28:45,349
- Well, technically, he punched my ass.
- Punched your ass.

580
00:28:45,351 --> 00:28:46,851
- Repeatedly.
- Hard.

581
00:28:46,853 --> 00:28:48,952
Well, according to the bylaws,
that is highly illegal.

582
00:28:48,954 --> 00:28:50,888
Except he didn't hit
my asshole

583
00:28:50,890 --> 00:28:52,355
so it's legal.

584
00:28:52,357 --> 00:28:54,357
Okay, what are you
talking about?

585
00:28:54,359 --> 00:28:55,525
Here.

586
00:28:55,527 --> 00:28:57,127
Page...

587
00:28:57,129 --> 00:28:59,328
Yes! Right there.

588
00:28:59,330 --> 00:29:01,230
No asshole punching.

589
00:29:01,232 --> 00:29:06,368
Why would you play a game where
you're constantly punched in the ass?

590
00:29:06,370 --> 00:29:08,671
- Fair question, Rebecca.
- Beep. I'll take this.

591
00:29:08,673 --> 00:29:12,440
Tag is more than a game.
It's a way of life.

592
00:29:12,442 --> 00:29:13,675
No, buddy.

593
00:29:13,677 --> 00:29:16,110
That's exactly right.
You nailed it.

594
00:29:16,112 --> 00:29:17,978
Facial disgracial.

595
00:29:17,980 --> 00:29:20,114
Okay, Lou, thank you.

596
00:29:20,116 --> 00:29:21,648
We'll take it from here.

597
00:29:21,650 --> 00:29:23,350
But he's exactly right.

598
00:29:23,352 --> 00:29:25,117
<i>It's so much more
than a game.</i>

599
00:29:25,119 --> 00:29:27,987
Say I'm LeVar Burton.
Say I'm LeVar Burton.

600
00:29:27,989 --> 00:29:30,223
<i>I was there when
Sable lost his virginity.</i>

601
00:29:30,225 --> 00:29:32,658
God damn it, Hoagie!
I was almost finished!

602
00:29:32,660 --> 00:29:34,260
Get over here!

603
00:29:34,262 --> 00:29:36,583
<i>And Callahan was there when
Anna and I had our first child.</i>

604
00:29:37,431 --> 00:29:39,331
Congratulations, buddy.
You're it.

605
00:29:39,333 --> 00:29:40,999
Doing great, Anna.

606
00:29:41,001 --> 00:29:43,468
<i>And all the guys were there
for me when my father died.</i>

607
00:29:43,470 --> 00:29:47,105
I think your dad would have
really wanted you to be...

608
00:29:47,107 --> 00:29:48,572
Dead.

609
00:29:48,574 --> 00:29:50,341
In this moment.

610
00:29:52,345 --> 00:29:55,913
<i>This game, it's given us a reason to be
in each other's lives all these years.</i>

611
00:29:55,915 --> 00:29:59,849
The last it from each season
will live in shame for one year.

612
00:29:59,851 --> 00:30:01,217
So what happens if you lose?

613
00:30:01,219 --> 00:30:02,685
- You lose.
- You're it.

614
00:30:02,687 --> 00:30:04,553
- What does the winner get?
- There are no winners.

615
00:30:04,555 --> 00:30:05,487
Just not losers.

616
00:30:05,489 --> 00:30:07,155
Listen,
I would love to sit here

617
00:30:07,157 --> 00:30:09,858
and deconstruct the spirit of
competition with everyone,

618
00:30:09,860 --> 00:30:11,360
but Jerry's still on the loose

619
00:30:11,362 --> 00:30:12,995
and we got to get him
where it hurts.

620
00:30:12,997 --> 00:30:15,162
- Not in the asshole.
- Not in the asshole. Obviously.

621
00:30:15,164 --> 00:30:16,764
Oh! Guys,
let's go to his house.

622
00:30:16,766 --> 00:30:18,799
He wouldn't be at his house.
It's too obvious.

623
00:30:18,801 --> 00:30:21,201
Yeah, it's too obvious, so he's
gonna be there. This is Jerry.

624
00:30:21,203 --> 00:30:25,205
Maybe it's so obvious that it's not
obvious that he will be there.

625
00:30:25,207 --> 00:30:26,940
- So he's at the house.
- He's not gonna be there.

626
00:30:26,942 --> 00:30:30,242
If he's there, then it'll be
obvious for him to be there

627
00:30:30,244 --> 00:30:32,378
so he wouldn't be there
because he would think

628
00:30:32,380 --> 00:30:34,948
that we would automatically
come there, obviously.

629
00:30:34,950 --> 00:30:37,616
- What?
- You know what? One way to find out.

630
00:30:37,618 --> 00:30:39,818
- Let's go.
- It'll be obvious to...

631
00:30:39,820 --> 00:30:41,321
Come on!

632
00:30:58,604 --> 00:31:00,238
It's locked.

633
00:31:06,844 --> 00:31:08,610
What do you see?

634
00:31:08,612 --> 00:31:10,078
It's nice.

635
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,948
There's lot of attention to
detail but not too overdone.

636
00:31:12,950 --> 00:31:15,686
Well, can you just unlock it?

637
00:31:17,420 --> 00:31:18,853
This is breaking and entering.

638
00:31:18,855 --> 00:31:21,357
No, it doesn't count
if you know the person.

639
00:31:22,325 --> 00:31:24,658
That is not true.

640
00:31:24,660 --> 00:31:27,696
"Did you guys really think
I would be home?"

641
00:31:30,031 --> 00:31:31,464
Feels like a trap.

642
00:31:31,466 --> 00:31:33,099
All right, let's split up,
we'll cover more ground.

643
00:31:33,101 --> 00:31:35,601
- No, that's a terrible idea.
- He'll never expect it.

644
00:31:35,603 --> 00:31:37,371
Now help me out
of the door, please.

645
00:31:40,674 --> 00:31:43,675
Jerry!

646
00:31:43,677 --> 00:31:45,710
He's gotta be here.

647
00:31:47,380 --> 00:31:49,213
Have you ever even
been here before?

648
00:31:56,755 --> 00:31:58,321
Ohh!

649
00:31:58,323 --> 00:32:00,824
Deviled eggs.

650
00:32:00,826 --> 00:32:03,327
Delicious. These go fast.

651
00:32:10,333 --> 00:32:12,302
What the fuck?

652
00:32:12,702 --> 00:32:14,237
Oh, man.

653
00:32:15,107 --> 00:32:16,771
Whoa.

654
00:32:16,773 --> 00:32:18,773
Jerry got chloroform?

655
00:32:18,775 --> 00:32:22,743
What the fuck?
He has stepped it up.

656
00:32:22,745 --> 00:32:26,947
Aerial maps of the city.
Bunch of blueprints.

657
00:32:26,949 --> 00:32:30,149
Five different hats? Wow.

658
00:32:30,151 --> 00:32:32,553
People change.

659
00:32:40,260 --> 00:32:41,762
Did you...

660
00:32:42,496 --> 00:32:43,897
I didn't do anything.

661
00:32:52,872 --> 00:32:56,707
<i>Who is that
scampering around my house?</i>

662
00:32:56,709 --> 00:33:00,209
<i>Hello, boys, did you
really think I'd go home?</i>

663
00:33:00,211 --> 00:33:01,477
- <i>You idiots.</i>
- I knew it.

664
00:33:01,479 --> 00:33:03,813
- <i>It's too obvious.</i>
- Yep.

665
00:33:03,815 --> 00:33:05,380
I mean, that's just
a lucky guess.

666
00:33:05,382 --> 00:33:06,615
Okay, Jerry, where are you?

667
00:33:06,617 --> 00:33:08,051
<i>You know,
seeing you guys tonight</i>

668
00:33:08,053 --> 00:33:10,719
<i>made me wanna take
a walk down memory lane.</i>

669
00:33:10,721 --> 00:33:12,120
- <i>Ta-da!</i>
- Is that your...

670
00:33:12,122 --> 00:33:13,855
That's my bedroom.
You're at my parents' house.

671
00:33:13,857 --> 00:33:15,423
Why are you at
my parents' house?

672
00:33:15,425 --> 00:33:16,524
<i>It's a little smaller
than I remember.</i>

673
00:33:16,526 --> 00:33:18,126
You broke into my house!

674
00:33:18,128 --> 00:33:19,593
We broke into his house.

675
00:33:19,595 --> 00:33:20,828
Yeah, we broke
into your house.

676
00:33:20,830 --> 00:33:22,763
<i>Hey, hey!
Look who I found, Hoag.</i>

677
00:33:22,765 --> 00:33:25,231
<i>Hoag! Hoagie,
I miss you so much!</i>

678
00:33:25,233 --> 00:33:27,233
What are you doing
with Mr. Stubbles?

679
00:33:27,235 --> 00:33:29,436
<i>This little guy got you through a
lot of troubles in life, didn't he?</i>

680
00:33:29,438 --> 00:33:30,870
All right, Jerry.

681
00:33:32,606 --> 00:33:34,239
Let's see where this one goes.

682
00:33:34,241 --> 00:33:37,110
<i>Mr. Stubbles has something to say.
What was that?</i>

683
00:33:37,112 --> 00:33:39,945
<i>He says that his skin's very dry.
It needs to be moisturized.</i>

684
00:33:39,947 --> 00:33:43,383
Jerry, put down Mr. Stubbles.
So help me God.

685
00:33:44,484 --> 00:33:46,317
What's happening here?

686
00:33:46,319 --> 00:33:48,251
I think he's about to masturbate
in Hoagie's childhood bedroom.

687
00:33:48,253 --> 00:33:50,755
Oh, no.

688
00:33:50,757 --> 00:33:52,222
It's the ultimate act
of dominance.

689
00:33:52,224 --> 00:33:54,991
<i>I'm gonna stay here
until you come.</i>

690
00:33:54,993 --> 00:33:56,528
<i>Unless I come first.</i>

691
00:33:58,098 --> 00:33:59,497
You sly dog.

692
00:34:01,632 --> 00:34:03,899
- Go! Go! Go!
- Did you get him?

693
00:34:03,901 --> 00:34:05,801
- Start the car!
- Started it. I started it.

694
00:34:05,803 --> 00:34:07,469
Everybody put their
seat belts on.

695
00:34:07,471 --> 00:34:08,871
Go! Go! Go!

696
00:34:08,873 --> 00:34:10,107
Everybody in.

697
00:34:10,109 --> 00:34:11,975
Is everybody in?

698
00:34:15,912 --> 00:34:18,980
<i>This is gonna be nice and smooth, Mr.
Stubbies.</i>

699
00:34:18,982 --> 00:34:20,814
<i>This isn't gonna hurt
whatsoever.</i>

700
00:34:20,816 --> 00:34:23,283
Stay put. We're coming for you.
We're coming for you.

701
00:34:23,285 --> 00:34:26,687
<i>Yeah, but hurry up!
Daddy, hurry up!</i>

702
00:34:26,689 --> 00:34:28,621
Mr. Stubbles is not into you.
He can't be into you.

703
00:34:28,623 --> 00:34:30,990
He's not a sexual being, okay?
So put him down!

704
00:34:37,765 --> 00:34:39,033
Hey, team.

705
00:34:45,705 --> 00:34:49,207
Jerry, how are you
in my room right now?

706
00:34:49,209 --> 00:34:50,875
We're all in my room.

707
00:34:50,877 --> 00:34:54,410
<i>No, of course I'm not there.
I'm here. In my basement.</i>

708
00:34:54,412 --> 00:34:55,712
Where are you guys?

709
00:34:55,714 --> 00:34:57,914
<i>Are you fucking kidding me?</i>

710
00:34:57,916 --> 00:35:00,950
<i>He built a replica of your
bedroom in his basement?</i>

711
00:35:00,952 --> 00:35:02,520
Good night, gentlemen.

712
00:35:12,163 --> 00:35:13,763
Amateurs.

713
00:35:14,864 --> 00:35:16,531
Let's begin. Um...

714
00:35:16,533 --> 00:35:18,800
So, kind of a rough start.

715
00:35:18,802 --> 00:35:20,467
That was pretty standard,
actually.

716
00:35:20,469 --> 00:35:22,003
Yeah, Jerry's extreme.

717
00:35:22,005 --> 00:35:24,905
The masturbation was fake,
but the pleasure was real.

718
00:35:24,907 --> 00:35:27,974
I mean, I've said it before, but
we're not gonna tag him because,

719
00:35:27,976 --> 00:35:30,376
you know, he's better
at tag than us.

720
00:35:30,378 --> 00:35:32,212
I'm obviously going to be
the one that tags Jerry.

721
00:35:32,214 --> 00:35:36,314
I've been working with
this Japanese guy. Sensei.

722
00:35:36,316 --> 00:35:38,984
He knows zero karate.

723
00:35:38,986 --> 00:35:41,421
He doesn't know karate.
He's claiming to know karate?

724
00:35:43,323 --> 00:35:45,590
He doesn't know karate.
I don't think he knows karate.

725
00:35:45,592 --> 00:35:48,293
Well, then, what does he call it when I
roundhouse kicked him in 10th grade?

726
00:35:48,295 --> 00:35:51,095
Callahan and Chilli did get in a huge
fight sophomore year of high school

727
00:35:51,098 --> 00:35:55,966
and Callahan did... Just tag Chilli
with a beautiful roundhouse kick.

728
00:35:55,968 --> 00:35:58,938
But in Chilli's defense,
when Callahan kicked him...

729
00:36:00,005 --> 00:36:01,003
He shit in his pants!

730
00:36:01,005 --> 00:36:03,139
Yeah, okay,
that never happened.

731
00:36:03,141 --> 00:36:06,541
And it's nice to actually get an
opportunity to address it directly.

732
00:36:06,543 --> 00:36:07,844
By all means. I'm all ears.

733
00:36:07,846 --> 00:36:11,113
I mean, I was very sweaty.
It was warm out.

734
00:36:11,115 --> 00:36:15,150
Well, the sweaty ass defense? He's
been banging that drum for years.

735
00:36:15,152 --> 00:36:17,418
Hottest October on record,
if I recall. Look it up.

736
00:36:17,420 --> 00:36:19,187
<i>Wall Street Journal,</i>
you have fact checkers

737
00:36:19,189 --> 00:36:22,189
- for this exact scenario, right?
- Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

738
00:36:22,191 --> 00:36:24,591
While you're at it, can you have
the fact checkers look into

739
00:36:24,593 --> 00:36:26,227
if <i>The Maury Povich Show</i>
is staged?

740
00:36:26,229 --> 00:36:29,696
'Cause it feels staged
but he swears it's not staged.

741
00:36:29,698 --> 00:36:33,166
But they do the exact
same thing every time.

742
00:36:33,168 --> 00:36:34,568
What?

743
00:36:49,349 --> 00:36:52,919
Sable, I know where
Jerry's gonna be. I need the tag.

744
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:56,088
Okay.

745
00:36:57,222 --> 00:37:00,456
Yeah. Just picked up the tux.

746
00:37:00,458 --> 00:37:02,892
All right, see you soon, babe.

747
00:37:02,894 --> 00:37:05,328
Hey, Rob, how're you doing, bud?
Good to see you.

748
00:37:05,330 --> 00:37:06,929
You, too, man.

749
00:37:06,931 --> 00:37:08,797
Gloria, ma'am.

750
00:37:08,799 --> 00:37:10,698
- My balloon!
- Whoa!

751
00:37:10,700 --> 00:37:12,834
Hey.
This must be yours, buddy.

752
00:37:12,836 --> 00:37:14,402
- Thanks, mister.
- Look at that.

753
00:37:14,404 --> 00:37:16,105
You gonna eat
that whole thing?

754
00:37:16,107 --> 00:37:18,572
You know what? You should
consider some alternative snacks.

755
00:37:18,574 --> 00:37:20,442
Keeping fitness fun, buddy.

756
00:37:28,083 --> 00:37:29,149
Oh!

757
00:37:29,151 --> 00:37:31,486
Excuse me, ma'am.
You dropped your...

758
00:37:33,721 --> 00:37:35,621
<i>Men's athletic
crossover-style boot</i>

759
00:37:35,623 --> 00:37:36,989
<i>size nine and a half.</i>

760
00:37:36,991 --> 00:37:39,991
<i>Suggests a man
that is neither fashionable</i>

761
00:37:39,993 --> 00:37:41,128
<i>nor athletic.</i>

762
00:37:41,929 --> 00:37:43,063
Hoagie.

763
00:37:52,672 --> 00:37:54,570
<i>Little does Hoagie know,</i>

764
00:37:54,572 --> 00:37:57,172
<i>I've been teaching a women's
self-defense boot camp for six years.</i>

765
00:37:57,742 --> 00:37:59,109
<i>First defense 101.</i>

766
00:37:59,111 --> 00:38:00,512
<i>Class is in session.</i>

767
00:38:10,988 --> 00:38:12,823
Holy shit!

768
00:38:52,092 --> 00:38:53,623
- You're done, Hoagie.
- Never!

769
00:38:53,625 --> 00:38:54,891
You're done.

770
00:38:54,893 --> 00:38:55,993
Never!

771
00:38:57,696 --> 00:38:59,062
All right, I'm done.

772
00:39:00,132 --> 00:39:01,630
Dude, you look amazing,
by the way.

773
00:39:01,632 --> 00:39:03,032
You've really upped your game!

774
00:39:03,034 --> 00:39:04,734
How'd you know
I was gonna be here?

775
00:39:04,736 --> 00:39:07,036
A-ha! Surprised you, right?

776
00:39:07,038 --> 00:39:08,904
<i>I saw the pick-up ticket
for your tailor</i>

777
00:39:08,906 --> 00:39:10,874
<i>when we broke into your house
the other night.</i>

778
00:39:13,043 --> 00:39:15,710
- Impressive.
- I'm taking you down, Jerry.

779
00:39:15,712 --> 00:39:17,345
Well, we both know
that's never gonna happen.

780
00:39:17,347 --> 00:39:19,481
Excuse me, excuse me.
Coming through. Excuse me.

781
00:39:19,483 --> 00:39:22,116
Oh, boy. Cavalry's coming in.

782
00:39:22,118 --> 00:39:23,784
Hey, Jerry.

783
00:39:23,786 --> 00:39:25,285
This old lady bothering you?

784
00:39:25,287 --> 00:39:27,820
I'm good, Marvin. Thanks, man.
Everything's all right.

785
00:39:27,822 --> 00:39:29,289
It's just a friend of mine.

786
00:39:29,291 --> 00:39:30,757
Hey, it's good to see you.
Looking good, brother.

787
00:39:30,759 --> 00:39:32,794
- My man.
- Yeah, staying in shape.

788
00:39:34,129 --> 00:39:36,162
What the fuck?

789
00:39:36,164 --> 00:39:38,364
All right, well, maybe I'll
call the police. All right?

790
00:39:38,366 --> 00:39:40,732
This is assault. You willing
to go to jail for this?

791
00:39:40,734 --> 00:39:42,667
You're goddamn right, I am.

792
00:39:42,669 --> 00:39:48,072
Okay, then, maybe I will cause a
big scene and get arrested also.

793
00:39:48,074 --> 00:39:51,142
Then, once we both
get to jail, I'll just...

794
00:39:51,144 --> 00:39:52,742
What? Bribe a guard?

795
00:39:52,744 --> 00:39:54,778
Be put in my cell? I figured you'd
say that. It's pretty obvious.

796
00:39:54,780 --> 00:39:57,114
Hoag, you have to realize
that's gonna take hours,

797
00:39:57,116 --> 00:39:59,482
during which time
I'll have fashioned a shiv

798
00:39:59,484 --> 00:40:02,018
from my toothbrush and used
it to murder my cellmate.

799
00:40:02,020 --> 00:40:03,652
You'd just shiv your cellmate?

800
00:40:03,654 --> 00:40:05,788
Don't worry, he's a bad person
who's done terrible things.

801
00:40:05,790 --> 00:40:07,424
So justice is served.

802
00:40:07,426 --> 00:40:09,391
- Okay.
- It gets me thrown in solitary confinement,

803
00:40:09,393 --> 00:40:13,828
which is what I want. Out of reach.
Completely untaggable.

804
00:40:13,830 --> 00:40:15,266
Damn, you have thought
this through.

805
00:40:16,699 --> 00:40:18,232
Pretty good, right?

806
00:40:18,234 --> 00:40:20,501
Look, understand two things,
Hoagie.

807
00:40:20,503 --> 00:40:22,969
First, you're not gonna
screw up this wedding. Okay?

808
00:40:22,971 --> 00:40:25,872
And secondly, I will never
let you tag me.

809
00:40:25,874 --> 00:40:28,341
You're gonna die before that ever happens.
You understand that, right?

810
00:40:28,343 --> 00:40:32,312
I don't fear death, Jerry. And
I'm not gonna give this up.

811
00:40:32,314 --> 00:40:33,712
Till I die.

812
00:40:33,714 --> 00:40:36,284
Okay. Good luck.

813
00:40:45,591 --> 00:40:47,660
See you at the rehearsal,
Jerry.

814
00:40:54,433 --> 00:40:56,333
These hushpuppies are insane.

815
00:40:56,335 --> 00:40:58,701
All right, listen.
T-minus 34 minutes

816
00:40:58,703 --> 00:41:01,871
until this rehearsal dinner is
over, and Jerry's fair game.

817
00:41:01,873 --> 00:41:03,306
There's four of us,
there's four exits.

818
00:41:03,308 --> 00:41:04,673
Let's fan out
and trap this rat.

819
00:41:04,675 --> 00:41:06,209
Okay?
Synchronize your watches.

820
00:41:06,211 --> 00:41:08,277
- I don't know how to do that.
- I don't wear a watch.

821
00:41:08,279 --> 00:41:09,746
Time is a construct.

822
00:41:10,814 --> 00:41:12,981
Okay, uh... 5:00.

823
00:41:12,983 --> 00:41:14,615
Could have said
that at the beginning.

824
00:41:14,617 --> 00:41:16,084
Well, we said it now.

825
00:41:16,086 --> 00:41:19,120
- 5:00, how hard is that?
- 5:00, yeah, it's easy.

826
00:41:19,122 --> 00:41:20,788
- Hi, guys. How are you?
- How are ya?

827
00:41:20,790 --> 00:41:22,655
Sorry about the other night.

828
00:41:22,657 --> 00:41:24,291
Yeah, that wasn't cool.

829
00:41:24,293 --> 00:41:26,227
No. I mean, listen,
I know it's not just you guys.

830
00:41:26,229 --> 00:41:28,261
I mean, Jerry's worse
than all of you.

831
00:41:28,263 --> 00:41:30,063
He's very competitive.

832
00:41:30,065 --> 00:41:31,998
When we were kids,
we had a contest to see

833
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:34,633
who could hold their breath
for the longest underwater.

834
00:41:34,635 --> 00:41:36,068
He almost died.

835
00:41:36,070 --> 00:41:38,670
He won, but at what cost?
Really?

836
00:41:38,672 --> 00:41:42,642
I hope he's this competitive
when it comes to being a father.

837
00:41:44,211 --> 00:41:45,877
Are you pregnant?

838
00:41:45,879 --> 00:41:48,079
- Really?
- Yeah, that's why the Shirley Temple.

839
00:41:48,081 --> 00:41:49,580
- Oh, my gosh!
- I know.

840
00:41:49,582 --> 00:41:51,082
- Here, cheers!
- Congratulations, that's great!

841
00:41:51,084 --> 00:41:52,550
- Cheers, thank you!
- Oh, my gosh!

842
00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:54,050
- That's such good news.
- Yeah.

843
00:41:54,052 --> 00:41:55,520
- We're not telling that many people.
- Okay.

844
00:41:55,522 --> 00:41:57,921
Listen, I know
it's gonna get a little wacky

845
00:41:57,923 --> 00:42:00,357
- over the next couple of days with you guys.
- Sure, the fuck is...

846
00:42:00,359 --> 00:42:01,426
Okay?

847
00:42:02,461 --> 00:42:04,327
Just don't go too far.

848
00:42:04,329 --> 00:42:07,463
And, go out there and play golf.
It's amazing. Do something fun.

849
00:42:07,465 --> 00:42:09,831
- Okay? Bye, guys.
- See ya.

850
00:42:09,833 --> 00:42:12,334
I like her. She has
a beautiful personality.

851
00:42:12,336 --> 00:42:14,235
Very effervescent.
Good energy.

852
00:42:14,237 --> 00:42:16,004
Don't believe a word
she fucking says.

853
00:42:16,006 --> 00:42:17,671
She's a hired hand.
She's an actress.

854
00:42:17,673 --> 00:42:19,907
- What?
- I mean, look at this son of a bitch.

855
00:42:19,909 --> 00:42:22,142
- This is Colonel Sanders in the flesh.
- That's, like, her uncle.

856
00:42:22,144 --> 00:42:24,044
- It's the fucking <i>Truman Show.</i>
- Will you stop?

857
00:42:24,046 --> 00:42:26,180
The whole thing. Jerry set it up.
I guarantee it.

858
00:42:26,182 --> 00:42:28,315
Every single person here
has been hired.

859
00:42:28,317 --> 00:42:29,749
You have gotta calm down.

860
00:42:29,751 --> 00:42:33,319
Hi. Nice to meet you.
I'm his wife.

861
00:42:33,321 --> 00:42:36,224
Jerry, is that Cheryl Deakins?

862
00:42:41,629 --> 00:42:43,662
Ah! Yeah. Good.
Hey!

863
00:42:43,664 --> 00:42:45,964
- You invited her?
- Yeah, of course.

864
00:42:45,966 --> 00:42:48,699
What? We're all old friends.

865
00:42:48,701 --> 00:42:50,369
- Makes sense.
- I'm not buying this.

866
00:42:54,340 --> 00:42:55,472
Is that, uh...

867
00:42:55,474 --> 00:42:56,839
Cheryl Deakins.

868
00:42:56,841 --> 00:42:59,610
- You know she was coming, Bob?
- I did not.

869
00:42:59,612 --> 00:43:01,711
- I didn't either.
- She looks good.

870
00:43:01,713 --> 00:43:03,348
- Great. She always does.
- Yeah.

871
00:43:03,949 --> 00:43:05,448
Wow!

872
00:43:05,450 --> 00:43:08,050
Who is Cheryl Deakins?

873
00:43:08,052 --> 00:43:10,619
Is she like the Yoko
or something?

874
00:43:10,621 --> 00:43:12,988
I don't get that reference
but she's someone

875
00:43:12,990 --> 00:43:15,390
whose presence causes
strain on our group.

876
00:43:15,392 --> 00:43:18,926
We've known her since
grade school.

877
00:43:18,928 --> 00:43:23,098
<i>She was the first girl that
Chilli and Callahan had a crush on.</i>

878
00:43:23,100 --> 00:43:26,534
<i>When we were kids,
Cheryl was into Chilli.</i>

879
00:43:26,536 --> 00:43:28,902
<i>Much to Callahan's chagrin.</i>

880
00:43:28,904 --> 00:43:30,670
<i>But young love
is unpredictable.</i>

881
00:43:30,672 --> 00:43:34,006
<i>Later that same year, she
decided she was into Callahan.</i>

882
00:43:34,008 --> 00:43:36,942
<i>Much to Chilli's chagrin.</i>

883
00:43:36,944 --> 00:43:40,248
<i>But she always had a place
in her heart for Chilli.</i>

884
00:43:49,055 --> 00:43:50,588
And this went on for decades.

885
00:43:50,590 --> 00:43:53,359
And all of a sudden, she just
married an orthodontist.

886
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:56,326
They get all the chicks.

887
00:43:56,328 --> 00:43:57,494
What?

888
00:43:57,496 --> 00:43:59,263
How long has it been
since you've seen her?

889
00:43:59,265 --> 00:44:01,132
About 10 years for me.
How 'bout you?

890
00:44:01,899 --> 00:44:04,066
Same, I guess.

891
00:44:04,068 --> 00:44:05,935
- Been a while.
- Sure has.

892
00:44:05,937 --> 00:44:07,836
You sneaky trickster.

893
00:44:07,838 --> 00:44:10,473
She looks amazing, and you know it.
Think about this.

894
00:44:10,475 --> 00:44:14,075
What if Cheryl ended up getting
back together with our boy?

895
00:44:14,077 --> 00:44:15,710
- Chilli?
- Callahan?

896
00:44:15,712 --> 00:44:17,045
Obviously.

897
00:44:17,047 --> 00:44:18,446
- Wait. What?
- Duh.

898
00:44:18,448 --> 00:44:20,314
- Did you say Chilli?
- You're Team Callahan?

899
00:44:20,316 --> 00:44:22,149
- Yeah!
- We've been married all this time and you think

900
00:44:22,151 --> 00:44:23,884
she should end up
with Callahan?

901
00:44:23,886 --> 00:44:25,818
Of course.
Wait, you think Chilli?

902
00:44:25,820 --> 00:44:27,887
Wait, do you know
those guys at all?

903
00:44:27,889 --> 00:44:29,822
Who are you right now?

904
00:44:29,824 --> 00:44:31,659
- What?
- You're freaking me out.

905
00:44:31,661 --> 00:44:34,795
I feel like I don't even know you.
You're like this foreign person.

906
00:44:36,096 --> 00:44:38,531
Do you want me to be
a foreign person?

907
00:44:38,533 --> 00:44:40,465
What?

908
00:44:40,467 --> 00:44:41,733
Here? Right now?

909
00:44:41,735 --> 00:44:45,604
Because I just got lost
on the way to <i>bibliotheque</i>

910
00:44:45,606 --> 00:44:48,039
and I don't know where all my
other French friends are.

911
00:44:48,041 --> 00:44:50,441
- Chantelle is here?
- Chantelle is here with...

912
00:44:50,443 --> 00:44:51,877
Oh, my God!

913
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:57,581
Honey, it's almost 5:00.

914
00:44:57,583 --> 00:44:59,049
Keep your head in the game.

915
00:44:59,051 --> 00:45:00,550
You're so good.

916
00:45:00,552 --> 00:45:01,917
Come on, we'll go to the
bathroom for five minutes.

917
00:45:01,919 --> 00:45:03,186
All right.

918
00:45:03,188 --> 00:45:04,387
- It's crazy.
- Huh.

919
00:45:04,389 --> 00:45:06,088
Hey, you should go
talk with her.

920
00:45:06,090 --> 00:45:08,357
- No, you should go.
- Neither of you should.

921
00:45:08,359 --> 00:45:10,626
- Thanks.
- You're welcome. Neither one.

922
00:45:10,628 --> 00:45:11,893
Shut up, Sable.

923
00:45:11,895 --> 00:45:13,495
No, honestly,
it should be you, Bob.

924
00:45:13,497 --> 00:45:14,996
No, I think she really wants
to talk to you.

925
00:45:14,998 --> 00:45:17,632
'Cause I think
girls really like

926
00:45:17,634 --> 00:45:22,037
depressed guys that still have
a name for their bong.

927
00:45:25,574 --> 00:45:27,176
Get a good one.

928
00:45:29,244 --> 00:45:31,445
This is gonna go great.

929
00:45:31,447 --> 00:45:34,949
- Thank you.
- All right, good advice.

930
00:45:36,050 --> 00:45:38,551
Good luck.

931
00:45:38,553 --> 00:45:40,254
Tell her I said hi.

932
00:45:44,458 --> 00:45:46,091
Cheryl Deakins.

933
00:45:46,093 --> 00:45:48,159
Chilli Cilliano.

934
00:45:48,161 --> 00:45:49,893
How'd you know it was me?

935
00:45:49,895 --> 00:45:52,129
I'd know that faint smell of
sativa and Old Spice anywhere.

936
00:45:52,131 --> 00:45:54,131
Yeah. I had to get
a little stoned.

937
00:45:54,133 --> 00:45:57,267
I can't be sober at these things.
They're awful.

938
00:45:57,269 --> 00:45:59,235
That was the wrong choice,
man.

939
00:45:59,237 --> 00:46:01,537
- What?
- Neither of you should have gone,

940
00:46:01,539 --> 00:46:06,074
but if one of you should have went
then it should have been you.

941
00:46:06,076 --> 00:46:07,911
How many wines have you had?

942
00:46:09,079 --> 00:46:11,382
How many legs
does an octopus have?

943
00:46:12,649 --> 00:46:14,017
Well, eight.

944
00:46:16,119 --> 00:46:20,054
I see that you've been
rejecting fashion trends

945
00:46:20,056 --> 00:46:22,490
and haircuts and
maybe hygiene. I respect that.

946
00:46:22,492 --> 00:46:27,460
Well, I think respect is the key to the
beginning of rebuilding a friendship.

947
00:46:27,462 --> 00:46:29,896
- Is that a saying? Maybe?
- Yeah, sure. Who said that?

948
00:46:29,898 --> 00:46:33,767
I don't know. I wanna hear
about this husband of yours.

949
00:46:33,769 --> 00:46:38,470
What's the story? Is he still
charming, sensible, rich?

950
00:46:38,472 --> 00:46:40,672
No. Dead.

951
00:46:40,674 --> 00:46:42,808
Yeah, same with me.

952
00:46:42,810 --> 00:46:45,309
Dead to me. Divorced.

953
00:46:45,311 --> 00:46:49,913
No, I mean he's "dead" dead.
He actually died.

954
00:46:49,915 --> 00:46:51,682
He's dead?

955
00:46:51,684 --> 00:46:53,451
For real?

956
00:46:53,453 --> 00:46:54,852
Oh...

957
00:46:54,854 --> 00:46:59,656
Yeah, he died in a car crash.
We were separated already.

958
00:46:59,658 --> 00:47:01,090
You already separated.

959
00:47:01,092 --> 00:47:03,025
- Yeah.
- And now he's dead. He's gone.

960
00:47:03,027 --> 00:47:04,193
- He's gone.
- Officially.

961
00:47:04,195 --> 00:47:06,897
Act a little more
upset about it.

962
00:47:06,899 --> 00:47:09,265
I know, but, anyway,
how are you? How's your life?

963
00:47:09,267 --> 00:47:13,968
Great. I lost my business. Divorced.
Playing tag competitively.

964
00:47:13,970 --> 00:47:15,470
Pretty much rock bottom.

965
00:47:15,472 --> 00:47:17,605
- Are you trying to make me horny?
- Fuck yes, I am.

966
00:47:17,607 --> 00:47:19,374
- 'Cause it's happening.
- It is?

967
00:47:19,376 --> 00:47:20,941
Oh, yeah.

968
00:47:22,378 --> 00:47:24,178
So have you tried
the hushpuppies, or what?

969
00:47:24,180 --> 00:47:26,713
What do you think
they're talking about?

970
00:47:26,715 --> 00:47:29,315
I don't know, and I don't want
you to worry about it.

971
00:47:29,317 --> 00:47:30,851
We've got 15 minutes.

972
00:47:30,853 --> 00:47:36,456
Oh, Chilli, I think about you
all the time, Chilli.

973
00:47:36,458 --> 00:47:38,825
Oh, yeah? But what about Callahan?
He's so handsome.

974
00:47:38,827 --> 00:47:41,960
He's very handsome,
but he's a selfish lover.

975
00:47:41,962 --> 00:47:43,361
With a small dick.

976
00:47:43,363 --> 00:47:46,300
- Really? Okay.
- Plus he sobs after he comes.

977
00:47:47,334 --> 00:47:48,633
Wow.

978
00:47:48,635 --> 00:47:50,735
It's okay, Callahan.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.

979
00:47:50,737 --> 00:47:52,603
Okay, you know what?
You guys are all 12-year-olds.

980
00:47:52,605 --> 00:47:53,737
Oh, Chilli.

981
00:47:53,739 --> 00:47:56,607
Hey, Cheryl,
I want to reconnect.

982
00:47:56,609 --> 00:47:59,676
Oh, yeah.

983
00:47:59,678 --> 00:48:01,544
- What's happening now?
- Oh, Bob!

984
00:48:01,546 --> 00:48:04,614
Yeah, I'm just... Oh, I'm
just feeling the vibes.

985
00:48:04,616 --> 00:48:08,450
I mean, who wants to
have sex with a guy named Bob?

986
00:48:08,452 --> 00:48:11,320
"Oh, Bob." Just doesn't sound right.
"Oh, Bob."

987
00:48:11,322 --> 00:48:13,187
- "Oh, Bob."
- "Oh, Bob."

988
00:48:13,189 --> 00:48:15,657
- "Bob. Bob, Bob."
- "Oh, Robert."

989
00:48:15,659 --> 00:48:16,658
"Bob."

990
00:48:16,660 --> 00:48:18,359
I wasn't gonna text you,
you know?

991
00:48:18,361 --> 00:48:19,560
I didn't wanna mess with you
when you were married.

992
00:48:19,562 --> 00:48:21,462
No, I think that's nice.
Respectful.

993
00:48:21,464 --> 00:48:22,463
If I knew he was dead, I would
have texted right away.

994
00:48:22,465 --> 00:48:23,798
All right. Okay.

995
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:25,967
- No! Please don't leave on that!
- No, it's fine.

996
00:48:25,969 --> 00:48:28,168
We're good, we're good. I'm just
gonna use the ladies' room.

997
00:48:28,170 --> 00:48:30,770
- I'll see you later. It's nice to see you.
- Okay. It's great to see you.

998
00:48:30,772 --> 00:48:32,039
You, too.

999
00:48:35,777 --> 00:48:37,245
Widowed.

1000
00:48:54,226 --> 00:48:56,260
Cheryl Deakins.

1001
00:48:56,262 --> 00:48:58,094
What are you doing here?

1002
00:48:58,096 --> 00:48:59,396
And where are the urinals?

1003
00:48:59,398 --> 00:49:02,265
Probably in the men's room.

1004
00:49:02,267 --> 00:49:04,133
- You haven't changed a bit.
- Thank you.

1005
00:49:04,135 --> 00:49:07,103
- No, that was not a compliment.
- Well...

1006
00:49:07,105 --> 00:49:08,971
- I have matured.
- Have you? Really?

1007
00:49:08,973 --> 00:49:11,707
Because this old move where you
follow me into the bathroom

1008
00:49:11,709 --> 00:49:13,441
it's exactly what you did
at junior prom.

1009
00:49:13,443 --> 00:49:16,177
It was a good move then,
and it's a good move now.

1010
00:49:16,179 --> 00:49:17,879
- Marginally nicer bathroom.
- Hmm.

1011
00:49:17,881 --> 00:49:19,346
Do you wanna get a drink?

1012
00:49:19,348 --> 00:49:21,148
Actually, I think I'm gonna
head home.

1013
00:49:21,150 --> 00:49:22,716
Can I give you a ride?

1014
00:49:22,718 --> 00:49:24,351
- Sure.
- Great.

1015
00:49:24,353 --> 00:49:27,523
- Right after we have that drink.
- Oh, I see what you did there.

1016
00:49:31,393 --> 00:49:32,592
Okay, guys.
It's almost go time.

1017
00:49:32,594 --> 00:49:34,727
Is everybody in position?
Over.

1018
00:49:34,729 --> 00:49:37,095
Sable is in position.

1019
00:49:38,566 --> 00:49:40,499
<i>- Chilli!</i>
- Yeah. Let's get him.

1020
00:49:40,501 --> 00:49:43,737
<i>Callahan. Callahan,
do you read me? Over.</i>

1021
00:49:45,940 --> 00:49:48,108
Callahan.
Where are you, buddy?

1022
00:49:50,910 --> 00:49:52,443
Callahan!

1023
00:49:52,445 --> 00:49:54,781
We got an unguarded exit,
okay?

1024
00:49:55,682 --> 00:49:57,314
Hi.

1025
00:49:57,316 --> 00:49:58,784
Callahan!

1026
00:50:05,824 --> 00:50:07,156
Go! Go! Go! Go!

1027
00:50:07,158 --> 00:50:08,757
Go!

1028
00:50:08,759 --> 00:50:10,461
Not today, motherfucker!

1029
00:50:11,729 --> 00:50:13,798
Hey, thanks for coming.
Appreciate it.

1030
00:50:19,069 --> 00:50:20,301
Go! Go!

1031
00:50:20,303 --> 00:50:22,304
Come and get it, bitches!

1032
00:50:24,340 --> 00:50:27,276
Get in! Get in!
We're close. We're close.

1033
00:50:41,521 --> 00:50:44,224
- Hold on! Hold on!
- Go, go!

1034
00:50:45,125 --> 00:50:47,224
Go faster! Go faster!

1035
00:50:47,226 --> 00:50:48,629
Giddy up!

1036
00:50:49,930 --> 00:50:51,631
We're coming for you!

1037
00:51:03,708 --> 00:51:04,774
Incoming!

1038
00:51:04,776 --> 00:51:06,042
No, no, no!

1039
00:51:06,044 --> 00:51:07,512
Go! Go!

1040
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:11,847
God, I wish I had my gun here.

1041
00:51:11,849 --> 00:51:13,882
There are so many good birds
to shoot.

1042
00:51:15,586 --> 00:51:17,686
- So, this is a vacation for you?
- Yeah.

1043
00:51:17,688 --> 00:51:20,888
I mean some couples go on cruises.
Some couples go camping.

1044
00:51:20,890 --> 00:51:24,925
Some couples go to strip clubs
and have gangbangs,

1045
00:51:24,927 --> 00:51:27,227
and this is just what we do.
This is what we love.

1046
00:51:27,229 --> 00:51:29,262
This is our gangbang.

1047
00:51:29,264 --> 00:51:31,665
You know, it seems to me like
you'd be really good at the game.

1048
00:51:31,667 --> 00:51:33,533
- Why don't you play?
- Well,

1049
00:51:33,535 --> 00:51:36,036
They came up with the rules when
they were nine. No girls allowed.

1050
00:51:36,038 --> 00:51:40,539
And to be honest, I can get
a little overly aggressive

1051
00:51:40,541 --> 00:51:42,374
and competitive sometimes.

1052
00:51:42,376 --> 00:51:44,910
Come on, Jerry.
You're dead meat!

1053
00:51:44,912 --> 00:51:46,277
Yeah!

1054
00:51:46,279 --> 00:51:48,047
Keep your eyes downfield!

1055
00:51:48,049 --> 00:51:49,781
Cut across the fourth fairway!

1056
00:51:49,783 --> 00:51:51,348
Don't fuck this up!

1057
00:51:51,350 --> 00:51:54,518
Yeah. Well.

1058
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:57,222
Oh, I have to show you
pictures of our kids.

1059
00:51:59,391 --> 00:52:00,959
Go, go, go!

1060
00:52:02,326 --> 00:52:03,827
Hoagie, get him.

1061
00:52:03,829 --> 00:52:05,363
Hold on. Hold on.

1062
00:52:06,397 --> 00:52:07,963
Hoagie, stop!

1063
00:52:07,965 --> 00:52:09,197
No. Hoagie.

1064
00:52:09,199 --> 00:52:11,867
- What are you doing?
- I can't see!

1065
00:52:25,047 --> 00:52:27,115
- Everybody good?
- I'm fine.

1066
00:52:27,117 --> 00:52:28,450
I'm fine.

1067
00:52:30,086 --> 00:52:31,519
Well, that happened.

1068
00:52:32,188 --> 00:52:34,487
Onward.

1069
00:52:34,489 --> 00:52:37,224
- Let's get him.
- That was invigorating.

1070
00:52:49,736 --> 00:52:53,904
That is psychological
warfare right there.

1071
00:52:53,906 --> 00:52:56,140
- That's impressive.
- Yeah, that's a good move.

1072
00:52:56,142 --> 00:52:57,810
Good one, Jer!

1073
00:53:01,713 --> 00:53:03,847
There he is!

1074
00:53:03,849 --> 00:53:04,916
Hello, boys.

1075
00:53:07,818 --> 00:53:08,951
What?

1076
00:53:11,388 --> 00:53:12,621
Okay, how's he doing this?

1077
00:53:12,623 --> 00:53:13,856
All right, Jerry, stop!

1078
00:53:13,858 --> 00:53:15,289
He's multiplying!
It's happening!

1079
00:53:15,291 --> 00:53:16,925
- What the fuck?
- There's one!

1080
00:53:19,295 --> 00:53:21,294
- Hey!
- What?

1081
00:53:21,296 --> 00:53:24,297
There's so many.
There's so many!

1082
00:53:24,299 --> 00:53:26,234
There he is!
I'm coming for you, Jerry!

1083
00:53:26,236 --> 00:53:27,669
Chilli, you're not even it!

1084
00:53:35,843 --> 00:53:37,445
I'm on your ass!

1085
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:40,515
Come on!

1086
00:53:49,321 --> 00:53:51,024
Oh, shit!

1087
00:53:51,792 --> 00:53:53,559
Shit!

1088
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:03,966
This is terrible.
This is pure bullshit.

1089
00:54:03,968 --> 00:54:05,301
We should not be here.

1090
00:54:05,303 --> 00:54:07,804
This is gettin'
way too extreme.

1091
00:54:07,806 --> 00:54:09,504
I need you to buck up, Sable.

1092
00:54:09,506 --> 00:54:11,073
- Yeah.
- Come on, let's stay focused.

1093
00:54:11,075 --> 00:54:13,844
Yeah, we bucked up
out of the goddamn golf cart.

1094
00:54:18,215 --> 00:54:20,347
You smell that?
Do you smell it?

1095
00:54:20,349 --> 00:54:21,949
It's Jerry. I smell him.

1096
00:54:21,951 --> 00:54:23,584
It's leaves and grass.

1097
00:54:23,586 --> 00:54:25,286
And centipedes.

1098
00:54:25,288 --> 00:54:27,154
Just typical woods stuff.

1099
00:54:27,156 --> 00:54:28,690
He's close.

1100
00:54:29,457 --> 00:54:30,623
I can feel it.

1101
00:54:30,625 --> 00:54:31,891
I can feel something.

1102
00:54:33,195 --> 00:54:34,930
Oh, shit!

1103
00:54:36,832 --> 00:54:38,897
- Jesus. Oh, my God.
- Shit.

1104
00:54:38,899 --> 00:54:41,133
- Oh, my God.
- Wow, that's crazy.

1105
00:54:42,636 --> 00:54:45,438
Our friend is a psychopath,
and this is scary.

1106
00:54:46,107 --> 00:54:48,307
He got me. I'm down.

1107
00:54:48,309 --> 00:54:51,242
This is on you now. Come here.

1108
00:54:51,244 --> 00:54:53,177
Let me tag you.

1109
00:54:53,179 --> 00:54:54,446
Come on!

1110
00:54:56,082 --> 00:54:57,747
All right.

1111
00:54:57,749 --> 00:54:59,416
I can see him.

1112
00:54:59,418 --> 00:55:02,552
He's at three o'clock.
50 yards out.

1113
00:55:02,554 --> 00:55:04,722
- Three o'clock. Got it.
- Three o'clock.

1114
00:55:06,557 --> 00:55:08,092
Sable!

1115
00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:12,194
That three o'clock.

1116
00:55:12,196 --> 00:55:14,263
- You didn't say which time zone, man!
- That's not time zones.

1117
00:55:14,265 --> 00:55:16,764
Why didn't you just point the first time?
Next time, just point.

1118
00:55:16,766 --> 00:55:18,967
It's that way. Go!
Go, go, go!

1119
00:55:18,969 --> 00:55:21,004
Go, Sable, go!

1120
00:55:44,225 --> 00:55:45,893
I see you.

1121
00:55:48,195 --> 00:55:49,930
Yeah, motherfucker.

1122
00:55:55,134 --> 00:55:56,499
You're it!

1123
00:56:08,380 --> 00:56:09,747
Oh, I don't like that.

1124
00:56:14,517 --> 00:56:15,920
Shh.

1125
00:56:17,154 --> 00:56:18,155
Sleep.

1126
00:56:23,826 --> 00:56:24,827
Sable?

1127
00:56:26,029 --> 00:56:27,030
Sable?

1128
00:56:41,409 --> 00:56:42,675
What happened?

1129
00:56:42,677 --> 00:56:43,809
We got chloroformed.

1130
00:56:43,811 --> 00:56:45,677
Chloroformed? What?

1131
00:56:45,679 --> 00:56:49,514
Bob took our car, and now we're in a Lyft.
We're going to the Sandpiper.

1132
00:56:49,516 --> 00:56:50,882
I don't wanna be it anymore.

1133
00:56:50,884 --> 00:56:52,516
I don't wanna be it.
Hoagie, it's on you, bud.

1134
00:56:52,518 --> 00:56:53,985
Now, what the fuck?

1135
00:56:53,987 --> 00:56:56,119
Wait. I'm confused.
What just happened in there?

1136
00:56:56,121 --> 00:56:58,689
Well, Jerry woke up early,
got some grounds crew

1137
00:56:58,691 --> 00:57:01,792
to go out in the woods, build some
snares and a swinging log trap

1138
00:57:01,794 --> 00:57:05,027
and wear matching outfits
to act as decoys.

1139
00:57:05,029 --> 00:57:06,432
Maniac.

1140
00:57:08,733 --> 00:57:10,100
Are you okay?

1141
00:57:10,102 --> 00:57:13,302
Yes, yes. I am. I'm good.

1142
00:57:13,304 --> 00:57:16,204
I am amazed that you're able to
stay so optimistic after all that.

1143
00:57:16,206 --> 00:57:19,108
Well, some have said I am the
heart and soul of the game.

1144
00:57:19,110 --> 00:57:20,275
No, you've said that.

1145
00:57:20,277 --> 00:57:22,476
You're the only person
I've heard say that.

1146
00:57:22,478 --> 00:57:29,049
Well, technically "just me" fits the legal
definition of "some" so suck a dick.

1147
00:57:29,051 --> 00:57:32,152
Well, it seems like the game has
really kept you guys connected.

1148
00:57:32,154 --> 00:57:34,153
- Exactly.
- Well, except Jerry.

1149
00:57:34,155 --> 00:57:35,321
What? Don't say that.

1150
00:57:35,323 --> 00:57:38,024
How often do you see Jerry
outside of tag?

1151
00:57:38,026 --> 00:57:40,159
Well, not super frequently,
but...

1152
00:57:40,161 --> 00:57:43,230
Would you consider that
a close friendship?

1153
00:57:45,132 --> 00:57:47,567
Well, that's kind of
a dicky question.

1154
00:57:57,111 --> 00:57:58,144
Thank you.

1155
00:57:59,412 --> 00:58:03,715
All I'm saying is Callahan
better fucking be here.

1156
00:58:09,388 --> 00:58:11,920
- What's up? What?
- Look who decided to show up.

1157
00:58:11,922 --> 00:58:14,589
What? I had a business call with Beijing.
Couldn't be helped. I'm sorry.

1158
00:58:14,591 --> 00:58:17,259
Business call with Beijing? It would
have been 8:00 a.m. Saturday out there.

1159
00:58:17,261 --> 00:58:19,395
You doing business calls
at 8:00 a.m. Saturday morning?

1160
00:58:19,397 --> 00:58:21,229
Why do you know so much
about Beijing time zones?

1161
00:58:21,231 --> 00:58:25,100
2008 Olympics.
Michael Phelps, baby.

1162
00:58:25,102 --> 00:58:27,034
Fair enough.
Okay, anyway, I have an idea.

1163
00:58:27,036 --> 00:58:28,535
- Anybody want to hear it?
- Yes.

1164
00:58:28,537 --> 00:58:30,904
- What is it?
- Jerry's gym.

1165
00:58:30,906 --> 00:58:32,472
Someone there's gotta know
where he is.

1166
00:58:32,474 --> 00:58:34,907
- I like this. That's a good idea.
- Great!

1167
00:58:34,909 --> 00:58:36,909
- Up top! Buckle up, gang!
- Yes! Giddy up!

1168
00:58:36,911 --> 00:58:38,344
- You're it, by the way.
- What's wrong?

1169
00:58:38,346 --> 00:58:40,413
- My fucking knee.
- What's wrong with your knee?

1170
00:58:40,415 --> 00:58:41,746
I got hit by a log.

1171
00:58:41,748 --> 00:58:43,548
You got hit by a log, what?

1172
00:58:43,550 --> 00:58:45,418
We were chasing him. I got hit by
a fucking log. It really hurts.

1173
00:58:45,420 --> 00:58:47,118
I'm gonna go in. Fuck, I'm
pissed off about this, but go.

1174
00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:49,120
You want me to call
the pediatrician?

1175
00:58:49,122 --> 00:58:51,122
- I'm an adult. I don't need a pediatrician.
- You're not coming?

1176
00:58:51,124 --> 00:58:53,491
I think I'm gonna slow you down.
Why don't you guys go?

1177
00:58:53,493 --> 00:58:54,758
After the gym, let's meet up.

1178
00:58:54,760 --> 00:58:55,893
All right, fine.

1179
00:58:55,895 --> 00:58:57,027
Trust me, I wanna go...

1180
00:58:57,029 --> 00:58:59,863
Y'all need a sub? Huh?
I'm in!

1181
00:58:59,865 --> 00:59:02,199
We're super good, man.
Thanks!

1182
00:59:02,201 --> 00:59:03,500
We're good.

1183
00:59:03,502 --> 00:59:06,202
Who's banned now, bitch?

1184
00:59:06,204 --> 00:59:09,940
I'm okay. All right, guys.
Take it easy!

1185
00:59:21,385 --> 00:59:23,350
Oh, that knee healed up fast.

1186
00:59:23,352 --> 00:59:25,054
Stay out of this, Lou.

1187
00:59:29,258 --> 00:59:31,226
Oh, you saucy devil.

1188
00:59:42,069 --> 00:59:45,337
Hey, there, welcome to Granite Fitness.
Get hard, stay hard.

1189
00:59:45,339 --> 00:59:49,108
Just so you guys know, we're going
to be closing in five short minutes,

1190
00:59:49,110 --> 00:59:50,942
but is there anything
I can help you with?

1191
00:59:50,944 --> 00:59:53,211
Yes, Dave, in fact there is
something you could help us with.

1192
00:59:53,213 --> 00:59:55,781
How would you
like to earn $500?

1193
01:00:02,653 --> 01:00:06,122
Okay, just so you guys know, I'm not
sucking your guys' dicks, all right?

1194
01:00:06,124 --> 01:00:07,723
And I'm not letting you
suck my dick either.

1195
01:00:07,725 --> 01:00:10,625
No one is talking about anyone
sucking anyone's anything.

1196
01:00:10,627 --> 01:00:14,096
You sure about that? 'Cause
this guy's eyeing me hard.

1197
01:00:14,099 --> 01:00:15,797
- What?
- I'm just saying, man,

1198
01:00:15,799 --> 01:00:17,365
- you've got that vibe.
- Yeah?

1199
01:00:17,367 --> 01:00:18,500
Stop it.

1200
01:00:18,502 --> 01:00:20,001
Hey, Sable, seriously. Chill.

1201
01:00:20,003 --> 01:00:21,302
- Just stop it.
- Stop it?

1202
01:00:21,304 --> 01:00:23,837
It's too sexual.
You're undressing me,

1203
01:00:23,839 --> 01:00:25,473
literally, right now
with your eyes.

1204
01:00:25,475 --> 01:00:31,411
Dave. 500 bucks, and all we
want is to know where Jerry is.

1205
01:00:31,413 --> 01:00:36,015
Oh! Jerry. Yes, okay, shit.

1206
01:00:36,017 --> 01:00:39,784
He did mention that some people were
gonna swing by looking for him.

1207
01:00:39,786 --> 01:00:42,588
He left a message.
Oh, yeah.

1208
01:00:42,590 --> 01:00:44,189
Go fuck yourselves.

1209
01:00:44,191 --> 01:00:46,491
Okay, look. $1,000.
All right? Easy money.

1210
01:00:46,493 --> 01:00:48,059
Jerry won't even know
that you sold him out.

1211
01:00:48,061 --> 01:00:49,927
I got a better idea.
Why don't you go back

1212
01:00:49,929 --> 01:00:52,364
to the little Best Western
that you're staying in

1213
01:00:52,366 --> 01:00:54,599
and jerk each other off
in the nude?

1214
01:00:54,601 --> 01:00:57,067
Why do you keep taking this
conversation into a sexual direction?

1215
01:00:57,069 --> 01:01:00,304
Listen, Dave. $1,500.
Don't be an idiot.

1216
01:01:00,306 --> 01:01:02,038
Not a chance,
you dick-suckin' homophobes.

1217
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:04,307
- Hey!
- What?

1218
01:01:04,309 --> 01:01:06,209
Dave?

1219
01:01:06,211 --> 01:01:07,510
Do you know
what we're gonna do?

1220
01:01:07,512 --> 01:01:09,013
What?

1221
01:01:12,183 --> 01:01:14,885
We're gonna waterboard you.

1222
01:01:25,794 --> 01:01:27,195
Don't be a hero, Dave.

1223
01:01:27,197 --> 01:01:29,398
Jerry doesn't give
a shit about you.

1224
01:01:30,732 --> 01:01:32,365
So tell us where he is.

1225
01:01:32,367 --> 01:01:33,901
I'm never gonna tell you.

1226
01:01:34,670 --> 01:01:37,404
Last chance, Dave.

1227
01:01:37,406 --> 01:01:39,772
You're not gonna go through
with this for some game,

1228
01:01:39,774 --> 01:01:41,275
so quit jerking me off!

1229
01:01:42,610 --> 01:01:43,942
Oh, Jesus.

1230
01:01:43,944 --> 01:01:45,377
No one's jerking you off, kid.

1231
01:01:45,379 --> 01:01:47,413
'Cause Jerry has pushed us
to the fucking edge.

1232
01:01:47,415 --> 01:01:49,347
If you don't tell us
what we need to know,

1233
01:01:49,349 --> 01:01:51,549
you're going over
the edge with us.

1234
01:01:51,551 --> 01:01:53,218
You ready to die
for this shit?

1235
01:01:53,220 --> 01:01:54,851
I'd rather die than get
sucked off by you homophobes.

1236
01:01:54,853 --> 01:01:58,088
We're not gonna suck you off,
we're gonna waterboard you.

1237
01:01:58,090 --> 01:01:59,923
I'm just taking
a principled stand right now.

1238
01:01:59,925 --> 01:02:02,459
Okay. Well, guess what. Now,
this is gonna happen. All right?

1239
01:02:02,461 --> 01:02:04,428
Are you ready? I hope you
can hold your breath, son!

1240
01:02:04,430 --> 01:02:05,462
Do it!

1241
01:02:05,464 --> 01:02:07,330
'Cause this is going
right down!

1242
01:02:07,332 --> 01:02:09,565
- Yeah!
- You son of a bitch!

1243
01:02:09,567 --> 01:02:10,765
Here it comes!

1244
01:02:10,767 --> 01:02:12,033
It's coming! It's coming!

1245
01:02:12,035 --> 01:02:13,802
Yeah. You know, we should not.

1246
01:02:13,804 --> 01:02:16,471
I feel like it would be too much.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

1247
01:02:16,473 --> 01:02:17,839
That got outta hand.

1248
01:02:17,841 --> 01:02:19,341
My heart is beating
really fast right now.

1249
01:02:19,343 --> 01:02:21,509
We were just kidding,
we were just bluffing.

1250
01:02:21,511 --> 01:02:24,211
- No, we weren't fucking bluffing!
- Anna, Anna, Anna!

1251
01:02:24,213 --> 01:02:26,580
- Oh, my God, no. Just, no.
- Sweetheart.

1252
01:02:26,582 --> 01:02:29,782
It's a war crime, right?
It's not really who we are.

1253
01:02:29,784 --> 01:02:30,917
Yep, sorry.

1254
01:02:30,919 --> 01:02:33,086
We got a kinky cat over here.

1255
01:02:33,088 --> 01:02:34,754
- Okay.
- Fuck you, Dave.

1256
01:02:34,756 --> 01:02:36,755
God, I love your passion.

1257
01:02:36,757 --> 01:02:38,460
I'll tell you what.

1258
01:02:40,227 --> 01:02:44,029
I will tell you where
Jerry's gonna be

1259
01:02:44,031 --> 01:02:47,898
for $2,000. Cash. American.

1260
01:02:47,900 --> 01:02:49,301
- Okay, fine.
- No problem.

1261
01:02:49,303 --> 01:02:50,702
Why didn't you say that
in the first place?

1262
01:02:50,704 --> 01:02:52,803
Why did you take us down
this whole road?

1263
01:02:52,805 --> 01:02:55,273
It looked like there was room to negotiate,
and I was all prepared to do that.

1264
01:02:55,275 --> 01:02:57,508
But then we went down
the whole torture track

1265
01:02:57,510 --> 01:03:02,279
and I dug my heels in, philosophically.
I happen to be an objector.

1266
01:03:02,281 --> 01:03:04,947
- We are too, obviously.
- Not really.

1267
01:03:04,949 --> 01:03:06,650
That was a bluff.

1268
01:03:06,652 --> 01:03:07,816
You know what? You should
probably not write this down

1269
01:03:07,818 --> 01:03:09,285
and if it does come up,

1270
01:03:09,287 --> 01:03:12,021
just mention that we didn't
actually waterboard him.

1271
01:03:12,023 --> 01:03:13,489
No waterboarding.

1272
01:03:13,491 --> 01:03:16,392
Just a lot of talk about
sucking each other's dicks.

1273
01:03:16,394 --> 01:03:18,192
Yeah.

1274
01:03:18,194 --> 01:03:19,861
Okay, look, you know what?
Here.

1275
01:03:19,863 --> 01:03:24,234
I'm gonna give you $2,000, and
I'm gonna give you an extra

1276
01:03:24,900 --> 01:03:26,367
$500.

1277
01:03:26,369 --> 01:03:28,135
You just carry around
that kind of cash all day?

1278
01:03:28,137 --> 01:03:29,970
You were mentioning something
about Jerry, I think.

1279
01:03:29,972 --> 01:03:32,141
Yeah, Jerry is...

1280
01:03:32,675 --> 01:03:34,006
He's in AA.

1281
01:03:34,008 --> 01:03:36,442
- Wait, what?
- Yeah. Alcoholics Anonymous.

1282
01:03:36,444 --> 01:03:38,745
I know what it stands for. Wait, did
you guys know anything about this?

1283
01:03:38,747 --> 01:03:41,846
He goes there every morning
at a church on Brunswick.

1284
01:03:41,848 --> 01:03:43,582
Looking back,
I can kinda see it.

1285
01:03:43,584 --> 01:03:46,719
I mean, the first step is
recognizing you have a problem.

1286
01:03:46,721 --> 01:03:49,754
I'm just glad he's getting
the help he needs.

1287
01:03:49,756 --> 01:03:51,690
Sorry, did you say
that church is on Brunswick?

1288
01:03:51,692 --> 01:03:53,057
- Yes.
- Okay!

1289
01:03:53,059 --> 01:03:54,526
- Let's go! Clean up the water!
- Thank you!

1290
01:03:54,528 --> 01:03:56,860
So sorry.

1291
01:03:56,862 --> 01:03:59,596
I told you this wasn't gonna be just
another boring corporate profile, right?

1292
01:03:59,598 --> 01:04:01,197
Right.
This is definitely different.

1293
01:04:01,199 --> 01:04:03,734
And I know I'm no longer
the center of the story,

1294
01:04:03,736 --> 01:04:06,471
which is fine with me.
I don't mind giving up the...

1295
01:04:09,039 --> 01:04:11,273
Bob, can I buy you a drink?

1296
01:04:11,275 --> 01:04:13,041
Can you fucking believe this?
Hold on one second.

1297
01:04:13,043 --> 01:04:15,079
- Maybe...
- One second, one second.

1298
01:04:17,014 --> 01:04:20,749
Hi! Hi! Wow! Look at this.

1299
01:04:20,751 --> 01:04:22,116
- How you doing?
- Good.

1300
01:04:22,118 --> 01:04:23,184
Pretty good.
Yeah, we're just catching up.

1301
01:04:23,186 --> 01:04:24,819
That's so nice.
How's that knee?

1302
01:04:24,821 --> 01:04:26,687
- It actually does hurt.
- Yeah.

1303
01:04:26,689 --> 01:04:29,724
But resting and talking to an old
friend has actually really helped.

1304
01:04:29,726 --> 01:04:31,391
Thank you for asking.

1305
01:04:31,393 --> 01:04:33,360
- How was the business call with Beijing?
- Super good.

1306
01:04:33,362 --> 01:04:34,828
- It was?
- Yeah, I got a lot done.

1307
01:04:34,830 --> 01:04:36,363
Great.

1308
01:04:36,365 --> 01:04:38,130
What, you think I faked
my business call to Beijing

1309
01:04:38,132 --> 01:04:39,599
like you faked
hurting your knee?

1310
01:04:39,601 --> 01:04:41,633
You know what, dude?
I'm sick of this shit, Bob.

1311
01:04:41,635 --> 01:04:43,569
- You're it. How 'bout that?
- No! Pass.

1312
01:04:43,571 --> 01:04:45,471
- You can't pass. And you can't tag back.
- You're it. I pass.

1313
01:04:45,473 --> 01:04:47,171
- Oh, my God.
- It's like literally the first rule.

1314
01:04:47,173 --> 01:04:48,741
- You're it! You're it!
- You cannot tag me back!

1315
01:04:48,743 --> 01:04:51,242
- I'll rewrite the fucking rule book!
- Shut up!

1316
01:04:51,244 --> 01:04:52,844
Why are you acting
like children?

1317
01:04:52,846 --> 01:04:54,645
- 'Cause he started it.
- You started it.

1318
01:04:54,647 --> 01:04:56,447
- You literally started it. "My knee hurts."
- No, you started it!

1319
01:04:56,449 --> 01:04:57,715
What do you think
they're talking about?

1320
01:04:57,717 --> 01:04:58,850
Are we off the record?

1321
01:04:58,852 --> 01:05:00,519
Yeah, sure, sure.

1322
01:05:01,387 --> 01:05:02,452
No idea.

1323
01:05:02,454 --> 01:05:04,120
You know what?
I shouldn't have come.

1324
01:05:04,122 --> 01:05:05,888
Jerry always gets
in your head.

1325
01:05:05,890 --> 01:05:07,556
Did Jerry tell you
to say that?

1326
01:05:07,558 --> 01:05:09,325
You part of the whole
<i>Truman Show</i> of it all?

1327
01:05:09,327 --> 01:05:11,460
I mean, Jerry invited me
to the rehearsal dinner,

1328
01:05:11,462 --> 01:05:14,295
because he thought it would
distract you guys, which it did.

1329
01:05:14,297 --> 01:05:17,899
But I wanted to see you.
So I came.

1330
01:05:17,901 --> 01:05:19,501
Sure.

1331
01:05:19,503 --> 01:05:21,103
Oh, my God.

1332
01:05:21,105 --> 01:05:23,405
You guys are fucking idiots. Both of you.
But I love you both.

1333
01:05:23,407 --> 01:05:25,774
I'm gonna go. Maybe I'll
see you later. Or not.

1334
01:05:25,776 --> 01:05:29,078
- Cheryl...
- Go get Jerry. He fucking deserves it.

1335
01:05:30,646 --> 01:05:32,046
Bye, Cheryl.

1336
01:05:32,648 --> 01:05:34,013
Wow!

1337
01:05:34,015 --> 01:05:35,681
What do you want?

1338
01:05:35,683 --> 01:05:38,418
There's gonna be plenty of
time to get rejected by Cheryl

1339
01:05:38,420 --> 01:05:41,086
after 12:00 a.m. on June 1st.

1340
01:05:41,088 --> 01:05:46,625
So what I need you guys to focus
on, is the fact that we're a team.

1341
01:05:46,627 --> 01:05:50,027
Right? When we love each
other, and we love this.

1342
01:05:50,029 --> 01:05:54,298
Let's bask in that. Stay focused
on our mission. All right?

1343
01:05:54,300 --> 01:05:56,133
Let's get back
on this horse and ride.

1344
01:05:56,135 --> 01:05:57,635
Let's get this asshole.

1345
01:05:57,637 --> 01:06:00,136
Lou, not part of it.
Not at all.

1346
01:06:00,138 --> 01:06:01,506
Now, shake.

1347
01:06:02,541 --> 01:06:03,542
Shake!

1348
01:06:06,144 --> 01:06:09,213
All right.
Now we got some work to do.

1349
01:06:21,458 --> 01:06:22,590
Got it.

1350
01:06:22,592 --> 01:06:24,461
Go get him, sweetie.

1351
01:06:39,740 --> 01:06:42,575
Okay.

1352
01:06:42,577 --> 01:06:45,444
Hey, do you think we should talk
to Jerry about being an alcoholic

1353
01:06:45,446 --> 01:06:47,581
- before we get into all this?
- No.

1354
01:06:50,517 --> 01:06:55,452
But now, I've been clean and
sober for almost four years.

1355
01:06:55,454 --> 01:06:59,490
Thanks to all of you
and that higher power. Amen?

1356
01:06:59,492 --> 01:07:01,594
Amen.

1357
01:07:03,228 --> 01:07:05,628
Jerry, you about ready
to share?

1358
01:07:05,630 --> 01:07:07,699
Come on, y'all,
let's give it up for Jerry.

1359
01:07:15,506 --> 01:07:18,242
- My name is Jerry.
- Hi, Jerry.

1360
01:07:21,344 --> 01:07:24,578
<i>The slight scent of weed.
Chilli.</i>

1361
01:07:24,580 --> 01:07:26,914
<i>He thinks he's caught me
off guard.</i>

1362
01:07:26,916 --> 01:07:29,452
<i>Oh, my God!
I've caught him off guard.</i>

1363
01:07:32,320 --> 01:07:34,587
<i>He rushes in from behind.</i>

1364
01:07:34,589 --> 01:07:37,526
<i>Idiot.
I give him a wake-up call.</i>

1365
01:07:43,098 --> 01:07:47,233
<i>Hazelnut coffee? What
kind of bitch drinks hazelnut?</i>

1366
01:07:49,003 --> 01:07:51,671
Holy! Chilli! Hit me!

1367
01:07:52,839 --> 01:07:54,438
Get him!

1368
01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:57,408
<i>I'm going to trap him
and tag him in the face.</i>

1369
01:07:57,410 --> 01:08:01,480
<i>And yet, in my heart of hearts,
pretty sure it's not gonna work.</i>

1370
01:08:03,315 --> 01:08:07,416
<i>Hoagie's attempts to face me
fail because he lacks confidence.</i>

1371
01:08:07,418 --> 01:08:10,185
<i>Also, I think it's fair to say</i>

1372
01:08:10,187 --> 01:08:14,025
<i>I'm fucking surgical with
these complimentary donuts.</i>

1373
01:08:17,594 --> 01:08:21,464
<i>And this is why
print journalism is dying.</i>

1374
01:08:24,501 --> 01:08:27,668
<i>Yes! This is the moment
I've been waiting for.</i>

1375
01:08:27,670 --> 01:08:30,706
<i>I'm going to be the one
who tags Jerry.</i>

1376
01:08:33,742 --> 01:08:37,211
<i>Callahan will become distracted
by his own arrogant thoughts,</i>

1377
01:08:38,413 --> 01:08:40,446
<i>which I will exploit.</i>

1378
01:08:40,448 --> 01:08:43,851
<i>This will be my victory, which makes
sense because success breeds success</i>

1379
01:08:44,786 --> 01:08:45,787
<i>Oh, God.</i>

1380
01:08:56,896 --> 01:09:01,932
<i>How come "bi-weekly" means both
twice a week and every other week?</i>

1381
01:09:01,934 --> 01:09:06,338
<i>That's mad confusing and it's
just linguistically lazy.</i>

1382
01:09:12,509 --> 01:09:13,510
Oh, shit!

1383
01:09:25,088 --> 01:09:26,756
- Holy shit!
- Excessive.

1384
01:09:35,397 --> 01:09:37,866
Feeling trapped, Jerry?

1385
01:09:38,466 --> 01:09:39,665
No.

1386
01:09:39,667 --> 01:09:40,668
Nice.

1387
01:09:43,838 --> 01:09:44,839
Holy shit!

1388
01:09:47,041 --> 01:09:48,241
No, no, no!

1389
01:09:49,342 --> 01:09:50,708
No, no, no!

1390
01:09:51,678 --> 01:09:53,911
We got you, Jerry!
You're trapped!

1391
01:09:53,913 --> 01:09:57,180
Five hours till your wedding!
We can wait it out if you can!

1392
01:10:12,597 --> 01:10:15,597
Shit. You know what
I just realized?

1393
01:10:15,599 --> 01:10:18,333
There's a lot of sacramental
wine and wafers in there.

1394
01:10:18,335 --> 01:10:19,401
He could survive
for quite a while.

1395
01:10:19,403 --> 01:10:20,669
No, he can't drink.

1396
01:10:20,671 --> 01:10:22,003
Yeah, but it's not real wine.

1397
01:10:22,005 --> 01:10:23,270
Yes, it is.

1398
01:10:23,272 --> 01:10:25,140
It's just grape juice.
It's not wine.

1399
01:10:25,142 --> 01:10:29,443
I mean, I was once so fucked up that
I took a shit in my niece's crib.

1400
01:10:29,445 --> 01:10:32,046
Twice, if you ask
my sister-in-law.

1401
01:10:32,048 --> 01:10:33,379
So how long you been sober?

1402
01:10:33,381 --> 01:10:35,082
Oh, no, I'm not sober.

1403
01:10:35,084 --> 01:10:37,016
I'm high right now. I'm
just here to tag my friend.

1404
01:10:37,018 --> 01:10:41,486
Good luck with the sobriety, man.
That's cool. Definitely.

1405
01:10:41,488 --> 01:10:43,755
It's awful quiet in there.

1406
01:10:43,757 --> 01:10:45,724
You know what he's doing?
It's a classic ruse.

1407
01:10:45,726 --> 01:10:47,292
Make 'em think
there's an exit,

1408
01:10:47,294 --> 01:10:48,894
and that he already escaped.
Not buying it.

1409
01:10:48,896 --> 01:10:50,929
I buy it. I bet he has a
secret door back there.

1410
01:10:50,931 --> 01:10:52,931
Refrigerator turns into
an elevator.

1411
01:10:52,933 --> 01:10:54,532
What?

1412
01:10:54,534 --> 01:10:56,434
Takes the elevator down to the basement.
That's his lair.

1413
01:10:56,436 --> 01:10:58,268
- Different outfits, computer screens.
- What are you talking about?

1414
01:10:58,270 --> 01:11:01,473
- Cameras watching us.
- He's not Batman.

1415
01:11:03,408 --> 01:11:05,008
Told you. In there.

1416
01:11:05,010 --> 01:11:07,342
What's it say?

1417
01:11:07,344 --> 01:11:10,713
- "Eat my dick."
- "Eat my dick." Balls. Ass?

1418
01:11:10,715 --> 01:11:11,814
Butt.

1419
01:11:11,816 --> 01:11:13,015
Ice cream.

1420
01:11:13,017 --> 01:11:14,683
- What?
- What?

1421
01:11:14,685 --> 01:11:16,885
Yeah, he's taunting me. He
knows I'm lactose intolerant.

1422
01:11:18,521 --> 01:11:21,355
What is going on? Where is he?

1423
01:11:21,357 --> 01:11:23,526
Where is he?

1424
01:11:29,331 --> 01:11:31,132
Jerry?

1425
01:11:31,134 --> 01:11:33,934
We're supposed to be getting our
wedding photos done in an hour.

1426
01:11:33,936 --> 01:11:35,234
What are you doing?

1427
01:11:35,236 --> 01:11:37,204
- Come on out, Jerry.
- Jerry, you could come out.

1428
01:11:37,206 --> 01:11:38,504
We're not gonna
get you, Jerry.

1429
01:11:38,506 --> 01:11:40,073
Babe, look, calm down.
Look, I'm sorry.

1430
01:11:40,075 --> 01:11:42,608
Shut up, Jerry. I can't
fucking take this, Jerry.

1431
01:11:42,610 --> 01:11:44,043
She can't take it.
Come on out.

1432
01:11:44,045 --> 01:11:46,011
Honey, why are you playing
this game right now?

1433
01:11:46,013 --> 01:11:48,446
Why are you playing this game
with your friends right now?

1434
01:11:48,448 --> 01:11:50,548
Why is he playing
this game right now?

1435
01:11:50,550 --> 01:11:52,517
Hey, babe, look.
You gotta calm down, okay?

1436
01:11:52,519 --> 01:11:54,418
Listen to me!
It's very hard!

1437
01:11:54,420 --> 01:11:57,955
Because you have decided
to ruin everything.

1438
01:11:57,957 --> 01:11:59,623
And so have you.

1439
01:11:59,625 --> 01:12:02,960
With your stupid face,
and your stupid beard

1440
01:12:02,962 --> 01:12:04,594
and your stupid glasses

1441
01:12:04,596 --> 01:12:07,563
and that stupid jumpsuit.

1442
01:12:07,565 --> 01:12:09,599
There's only so much
a girl can take

1443
01:12:09,601 --> 01:12:12,835
and then you want me,
on top of that, just to...

1444
01:12:15,206 --> 01:12:16,838
Oh, my God. Are you okay?

1445
01:12:16,840 --> 01:12:20,441
- Babe? Suz? Sue?
- Oh, God! Jerry. Oh, my God.

1446
01:12:20,443 --> 01:12:22,343
- Boo? Boo-boo?
- Sue?

1447
01:12:22,345 --> 01:12:24,278
Boo-boo? Boo-boo?

1448
01:12:24,280 --> 01:12:25,780
- What happened?
- Boo-boo? Boo-boo...

1449
01:12:25,782 --> 01:12:27,381
- Wait, wait. What happened?
- Susan, are you okay?

1450
01:12:27,383 --> 01:12:29,382
- Sit down, sit down, sit down.
- The baby. It's the baby.

1451
01:12:29,384 --> 01:12:31,118
It's finally happening. He's right here.
Who's it? Bob, tag him.

1452
01:12:31,120 --> 01:12:32,418
- Are you kidding me?
- What?

1453
01:12:32,420 --> 01:12:34,054
There's something wrong
with her baby.

1454
01:12:34,056 --> 01:12:35,789
There's nothing wrong with that baby.
It's a fake.

1455
01:12:35,791 --> 01:12:37,223
If you won't do it, then tag me.
I'm gonna do it.

1456
01:12:37,225 --> 01:12:39,192
Oh, yeah. Fine.
You want me to tag you, then?

1457
01:12:39,194 --> 01:12:40,592
Oops! I missed.

1458
01:12:40,594 --> 01:12:42,061
As usual,
you're completely wrong.

1459
01:12:42,063 --> 01:12:44,329
This? You think I'm wrong?
This is so over the top!

1460
01:12:44,331 --> 01:12:45,931
This is obvious.

1461
01:12:47,201 --> 01:12:49,134
Tag me and I'll give him
a hug, and I'll say,

1462
01:12:49,136 --> 01:12:51,803
"If she's having a miscarriage,
this is awful, and you're it."

1463
01:12:51,805 --> 01:12:53,504
Are you kidding me right now?

1464
01:12:53,506 --> 01:12:56,373
You know. This feels like a
scene from <i>What Would You Do?</i>

1465
01:12:56,375 --> 01:12:58,810
You get put
in a precarious situation

1466
01:12:58,812 --> 01:13:00,510
and you have to make
the right decision.

1467
01:13:00,512 --> 01:13:01,945
It's all actors and cameras.

1468
01:13:01,947 --> 01:13:05,882
It's not great television,
but it hooks me in.

1469
01:13:05,884 --> 01:13:06,817
What?

1470
01:13:06,819 --> 01:13:08,384
Come on.

1471
01:13:08,386 --> 01:13:11,086
All right, we're good. We're
gonna get to the hospital.

1472
01:13:11,088 --> 01:13:15,257
Jesus. Hey! Jerry? Jerry, if you
need anything I could easily...

1473
01:13:15,259 --> 01:13:17,092
You come near her
or my baby,

1474
01:13:17,094 --> 01:13:18,962
I'll crush your windpipe, Bob.

1475
01:13:20,063 --> 01:13:21,731
This ain't no fucking game.

1476
01:13:26,203 --> 01:13:27,467
Uh...

1477
01:13:27,469 --> 01:13:29,136
I'm pretty sure
it's real, guys.

1478
01:13:29,138 --> 01:13:32,306
I will be so pissed if she
didn't have a miscarriage.

1479
01:13:32,308 --> 01:13:33,539
Chilli!

1480
01:13:33,541 --> 01:13:34,942
We all would be.

1481
01:13:34,944 --> 01:13:36,876
It's just a thing
you don't say.

1482
01:13:36,878 --> 01:13:38,379
It's implied.

1483
01:13:58,264 --> 01:14:00,532
Hey, Linda. <i>Namaste.</i>

1484
01:14:02,400 --> 01:14:04,634
Shouldn't you boys be getting
cleaned up for the wedding?

1485
01:14:04,636 --> 01:14:06,838
Not you, Chilli.
You're perfect.

1486
01:14:07,405 --> 01:14:08,872
Thanks, Linda.

1487
01:14:08,874 --> 01:14:11,042
I don't think anybody's
gonna be freshening up.

1488
01:14:14,112 --> 01:14:16,680
Hoagie, you can't go
looking like that.

1489
01:14:19,283 --> 01:14:23,185
"To everyone askin', the
wedding has been postponed.

1490
01:14:23,187 --> 01:14:25,453
"Thank you for your thoughts
and prayers."

1491
01:14:25,455 --> 01:14:27,088
It's from Jerry's mom.

1492
01:14:27,090 --> 01:14:29,891
- What? Maybe we're bad people.
- Maybe?

1493
01:14:29,893 --> 01:14:31,458
Yes, I think
we definitely are.

1494
01:14:31,460 --> 01:14:32,926
We might be.

1495
01:14:32,928 --> 01:14:36,528
Tag used to be a thing
that made me really happy.

1496
01:14:36,530 --> 01:14:39,765
But now, it's destroying me.
I feel sad.

1497
01:14:39,767 --> 01:14:41,268
Shut the fuck up, Sable.

1498
01:14:41,270 --> 01:14:44,637
Has anyone seen the
bridesmaids' Instagram stories?

1499
01:14:44,639 --> 01:14:47,772
- What?
- Check it out.

1500
01:14:47,774 --> 01:14:51,509
"Wedding's canceled.
Sad face emoji.

1501
01:14:51,511 --> 01:14:54,444
"I can't wear the dress.
Such a pretty dress.

1502
01:14:54,446 --> 01:14:56,214
"So sad. Goodbye emoji."

1503
01:14:56,216 --> 01:14:59,850
Really? Is there any chance that
all these women could post banal

1504
01:14:59,852 --> 01:15:02,119
minute-by-minute
moments from their day,

1505
01:15:02,121 --> 01:15:04,420
with mind-numbing captions
at the same time?

1506
01:15:04,422 --> 01:15:06,489
- Totally.
- Absolutely. That's all Instagram is.

1507
01:15:06,491 --> 01:15:08,791
I don't know about this,
guys. I just...

1508
01:15:08,793 --> 01:15:10,293
It doesn't feel right.

1509
01:15:10,295 --> 01:15:12,395
I smell a rat.

1510
01:15:12,397 --> 01:15:14,096
That's what I've been saying. I have been
actually saying this the whole time.

1511
01:15:14,099 --> 01:15:17,666
Hey, sweetheart, can we just move on?
It's over.

1512
01:15:17,668 --> 01:15:19,801
But it's not.
Now, come on, guys.

1513
01:15:19,803 --> 01:15:21,202
I'm gonna get
to the bottom of this.

1514
01:15:21,204 --> 01:15:22,904
- Bob.
- What'd I do?

1515
01:15:22,906 --> 01:15:24,505
Can I take
a photograph of you?

1516
01:15:24,507 --> 01:15:26,774
- No. Okay.
- Cute.

1517
01:15:26,776 --> 01:15:28,342
I'm gonna set up
an Instagram account for you.

1518
01:15:28,344 --> 01:15:29,610
Please don't.

1519
01:15:29,612 --> 01:15:30,811
Rachel Ditmus
is the only bridesmaid

1520
01:15:30,813 --> 01:15:32,645
with a private
Instagram account.

1521
01:15:32,647 --> 01:15:34,747
She's been wanting you to finger
bang her since the sixth grade.

1522
01:15:34,749 --> 01:15:39,719
If anybody's stupid enough to fall for
our request, it will be that dum-dum.

1523
01:15:41,122 --> 01:15:43,488
And sent. All we've
gotta do now is wait.

1524
01:15:43,490 --> 01:15:45,791
And accepted!

1525
01:15:45,793 --> 01:15:47,526
- Really?
- That was weirdly fast.

1526
01:15:47,528 --> 01:15:49,127
Do not finger bang her.

1527
01:15:49,129 --> 01:15:51,595
Oh, my God. I was right.

1528
01:15:51,597 --> 01:15:53,998
- What? What are we looking at here?
- What the hell is this?

1529
01:15:54,000 --> 01:15:55,400
A wedding dress.

1530
01:15:55,402 --> 01:15:56,701
What the fuck?

1531
01:15:56,703 --> 01:15:58,535
They faked
the fucking miscarriage!

1532
01:15:58,537 --> 01:16:00,637
No, no. Jerry's going down. We're
gonna destroy that wedding.

1533
01:16:00,639 --> 01:16:03,441
- Let's go!
- This is bullshit. That is so fucked up.

1534
01:16:07,412 --> 01:16:08,612
Hoagie?

1535
01:16:10,781 --> 01:16:12,415
Hoagie, what are you doing?

1536
01:16:12,417 --> 01:16:14,249
Damn it!

1537
01:16:14,251 --> 01:16:15,718
- Sweetie.
- Hoagie?

1538
01:16:15,720 --> 01:16:17,188
Be careful.

1539
01:16:18,155 --> 01:16:19,554
Should we stop him, or...

1540
01:16:19,556 --> 01:16:22,759
I'm not getting near him.
He's swinging that bat around.

1541
01:16:24,461 --> 01:16:27,230
- Sweetie, that's your mom's.
- Yeah, you're gonna hurt yourself.

1542
01:16:34,870 --> 01:16:41,142
We lost! He beat us!
The game is over!

1543
01:16:42,310 --> 01:16:44,809
We can't tag Jerry.

1544
01:16:44,811 --> 01:16:49,147
It's just time for us to come to terms
with that. He's untouchable, that's it.

1545
01:16:49,149 --> 01:16:51,082
What do you wanna do?
You wanna just give up?

1546
01:16:51,084 --> 01:16:53,717
Yeah, Bob. I wanna give up.
It's time to give up.

1547
01:16:53,719 --> 01:16:55,420
Come on, Hogan.
You're not a quitter.

1548
01:16:55,422 --> 01:16:57,054
What's the alternative?

1549
01:16:57,056 --> 01:17:00,357
We go to the wedding,
we try to tag him, we fail

1550
01:17:00,359 --> 01:17:01,759
and we fuck up the wedding?

1551
01:17:01,761 --> 01:17:03,360
That's not a cool move.
That's a dick move.

1552
01:17:03,362 --> 01:17:05,129
That's not what friends do.
That's what assholes do.

1553
01:17:05,131 --> 01:17:08,231
Hoagie! He faked
a fucking miscarriage.

1554
01:17:08,233 --> 01:17:11,401
This is a miscarriage
of justice.

1555
01:17:11,403 --> 01:17:12,801
This is where we get him.

1556
01:17:12,803 --> 01:17:14,669
He deserves to pay for that.

1557
01:17:14,671 --> 01:17:17,473
Even if we wanted to do that,
we all signed an amendment.

1558
01:17:17,475 --> 01:17:20,808
Amendments are null and void
if you fake a miscarriage.

1559
01:17:20,810 --> 01:17:22,377
That's just basic
contract law.

1560
01:17:22,379 --> 01:17:24,379
- That's law. Basic contract law.
- Law.

1561
01:17:24,381 --> 01:17:25,780
Like he said.

1562
01:17:25,782 --> 01:17:26,914
- I literally, said exactly that.
- I know.

1563
01:17:26,916 --> 01:17:28,816
We're saying it together.

1564
01:17:28,818 --> 01:17:31,452
But I was also right earlier, because
I said the miscarriage was fake.

1565
01:17:31,454 --> 01:17:36,056
The amendment stands,
and maybe that's a good thing.

1566
01:17:36,058 --> 01:17:39,194
Maybe it's time
to grow up a little.

1567
01:17:39,927 --> 01:17:41,827
I'm going to the wedding

1568
01:17:41,829 --> 01:17:46,664
and you guys can do what you want.
I hope you come, too.

1569
01:17:46,666 --> 01:17:48,902
Chilli, just put on a tie.

1570
01:17:52,172 --> 01:17:53,206
Sweetie.

1571
01:17:56,742 --> 01:17:58,142
Do you even have a tie?

1572
01:17:58,144 --> 01:17:59,609
Yes, I have a tie.

1573
01:17:59,611 --> 01:18:01,211
- Do you need to borrow a tie?
- Yes, I need to borrow a tie.

1574
01:18:01,213 --> 01:18:02,214
Okay.

1575
01:18:44,052 --> 01:18:47,385
Hi! I'm so glad you made it!

1576
01:18:47,387 --> 01:18:48,854
Is that champagne?

1577
01:18:48,856 --> 01:18:51,089
I know. Ugh...

1578
01:18:51,091 --> 01:18:52,990
I'm the girl
who cried miscarriage.

1579
01:18:52,992 --> 01:18:54,992
But I had to get him
out of that room

1580
01:18:54,994 --> 01:18:56,727
and distract you
for a couple of hours

1581
01:18:56,729 --> 01:18:58,362
so that the amendment
could kick in.

1582
01:18:58,364 --> 01:18:59,964
Okay. Are you even pregnant?

1583
01:18:59,966 --> 01:19:02,632
- No, I was never pregnant.
- You were never pregnant?

1584
01:19:02,634 --> 01:19:04,502
- Whoa.
- Wow.

1585
01:19:04,504 --> 01:19:07,370
Just listen. Jerry knew that you
guys might get the drop on him

1586
01:19:07,372 --> 01:19:10,373
so "Operation Miscarriage"
was our fail-safe.

1587
01:19:10,375 --> 01:19:12,774
- It was an operation?
- It was actually my idea.

1588
01:19:12,776 --> 01:19:14,643
- Brilliant. Brilliant!
- Aw, thanks.

1589
01:19:14,645 --> 01:19:16,311
That's diabolical.

1590
01:19:16,313 --> 01:19:18,679
Everyone's just pissed because
you won, and they're boys,

1591
01:19:18,681 --> 01:19:22,150
they can't get pregnant. So
they can't fake a miscarriage.

1592
01:19:22,152 --> 01:19:23,784
It's true.

1593
01:19:23,786 --> 01:19:26,487
Look, I'm not saying I want
you to have a miscarriage.

1594
01:19:26,489 --> 01:19:28,422
Then don't.

1595
01:19:28,424 --> 01:19:30,790
'Cause that would be terrible. But
if you ever do have a miscarriage,

1596
01:19:30,792 --> 01:19:32,593
I don't wanna say
that you would deserve it

1597
01:19:32,595 --> 01:19:36,029
'cause that's too far, but what
I will say and what I do feel

1598
01:19:36,031 --> 01:19:38,398
- is that's what you get.
- Uh...

1599
01:19:38,400 --> 01:19:41,834
Okay. It's fine. We can all
have different feelings.

1600
01:19:41,836 --> 01:19:44,236
But it's our wedding day,
you guys. Come on.

1601
01:19:44,238 --> 01:19:46,539
And we came up
with this great amendment

1602
01:19:46,541 --> 01:19:51,876
so that we could all enjoy this day
together and have fun and relax.

1603
01:19:51,878 --> 01:19:53,311
Are we cool?

1604
01:19:53,313 --> 01:19:55,613
- Yeah, I guess so.
- Not yet.

1605
01:19:55,615 --> 01:20:00,417
Sorry. Not cool yet. It's
just, you did murder a child.

1606
01:20:00,419 --> 01:20:02,386
- No.
- She didn't. No, it was a fake miscarriage.

1607
01:20:02,388 --> 01:20:05,455
Yeah, not the imaginary child
that was inside of you

1608
01:20:05,457 --> 01:20:09,593
but the actual inner child
that lives inside of me.

1609
01:20:09,595 --> 01:20:11,427
Got decapitated.

1610
01:20:11,429 --> 01:20:15,565
Head flew up, did flips in the
air, blood spurting everywhere.

1611
01:20:15,567 --> 01:20:19,067
Hoagie, Jerry has
a perfect record

1612
01:20:19,069 --> 01:20:21,203
and we're a team now.

1613
01:20:21,205 --> 01:20:22,504
The winning team.

1614
01:20:22,506 --> 01:20:25,239
And I just feel like, Hoagie,
if you're gonna play

1615
01:20:25,241 --> 01:20:28,643
a children's game
as a grown man,

1616
01:20:28,645 --> 01:20:31,380
maybe next time
don't play like a child.

1617
01:20:33,282 --> 01:20:37,083
Anyways, I am really excited
you guys are here.

1618
01:20:37,085 --> 01:20:40,019
Try the raw bar.
It's off the hook.

1619
01:20:40,021 --> 01:20:42,087
It's my wedding!
I'm getting married!

1620
01:20:42,089 --> 01:20:44,858
- Congratulations.
- Come on! Grab it!

1621
01:20:49,363 --> 01:20:53,064
I take back everything I said
about her being effervescent.

1622
01:20:53,066 --> 01:20:55,066
I met Jerry in AA.

1623
01:20:55,068 --> 01:20:58,069
You see, people,
I got a lot of problems.

1624
01:20:58,071 --> 01:21:03,373
Anger issues, I left my wife,
I have many kids.

1625
01:21:03,375 --> 01:21:06,842
And this man got me
to turn to the cloth.

1626
01:21:06,844 --> 01:21:08,811
It was a low point in my life.

1627
01:21:08,813 --> 01:21:10,946
There was jail time involved.

1628
01:21:10,948 --> 01:21:13,382
I briefly converted to Islam.

1629
01:21:13,384 --> 01:21:17,720
I lost a long legal battle
with Jo-Ann Fabrics.

1630
01:21:17,722 --> 01:21:21,256
During that time I got to know
Jerry and Susan as a couple.

1631
01:21:21,258 --> 01:21:22,857
And that is a true blessing.

1632
01:21:22,859 --> 01:21:25,627
What's the difference between
Episcopalian and Lutheran?

1633
01:21:25,629 --> 01:21:28,895
Episcopalians don't eat fish.

1634
01:21:28,897 --> 01:21:32,766
That's pescatarian.
That's not a religion.

1635
01:21:32,768 --> 01:21:35,103
They're all fanatics.
I don't know.

1636
01:21:35,105 --> 01:21:36,637
Remind me again,
is it on the kiss

1637
01:21:36,639 --> 01:21:38,337
or after they walk back
down the aisle?

1638
01:21:38,339 --> 01:21:41,040
Seriously? You said you'd
worked weddings before.

1639
01:21:41,042 --> 01:21:43,376
The kiss, the doves,
end of ceremony,

1640
01:21:43,378 --> 01:21:45,112
the groom was very specific
about this.

1641
01:21:45,114 --> 01:21:47,713
...and finds new ways
of expressing love

1642
01:21:47,715 --> 01:21:50,982
through the ups
and downs of life.

1643
01:21:50,984 --> 01:21:55,052
Susan, do you take Jerry
to be your husband?

1644
01:21:55,054 --> 01:21:57,555
Do you promise to love, honor,
cherish and protect him,

1645
01:21:57,557 --> 01:22:01,860
forsaking all others, holding
only to him, forever more?

1646
01:22:02,495 --> 01:22:03,694
I do.

1647
01:22:03,696 --> 01:22:04,961
Beautiful.

1648
01:22:04,963 --> 01:22:06,863
There's gonna be a window.

1649
01:22:06,865 --> 01:22:08,933
- What, sweetie?
- The doves.

1650
01:22:09,634 --> 01:22:11,134
What about the doves?

1651
01:22:11,136 --> 01:22:13,369
There's an opening.

1652
01:22:13,371 --> 01:22:15,638
Just relax, honey.

1653
01:22:15,640 --> 01:22:17,474
You seem stressed.

1654
01:22:18,475 --> 01:22:22,210
Jerry, do you take Susan
to be your wife?

1655
01:22:22,212 --> 01:22:25,313
Do you promise to love, honor,
cherish and protect her,

1656
01:22:25,315 --> 01:22:29,916
forsaking all others, holding
only to her, forever more?

1657
01:22:29,918 --> 01:22:31,218
I do.

1658
01:22:31,220 --> 01:22:33,019
I mean, this is actually
kind of beautiful.

1659
01:22:33,021 --> 01:22:34,622
It really is, man.

1660
01:22:34,624 --> 01:22:38,060
<i>I now pronounce you
husband and wife.</i>

1661
01:22:39,227 --> 01:22:41,363
You may kiss the bride.

1662
01:23:28,437 --> 01:23:30,270
- Hoagie!
- Go, go, go!

1663
01:23:30,272 --> 01:23:32,606
- Oh, God! Guys, go!
- Hoagie! You okay?

1664
01:23:32,608 --> 01:23:34,042
Jesus.

1665
01:23:34,510 --> 01:23:35,875
Hey, man.

1666
01:23:35,877 --> 01:23:37,076
Buddy?

1667
01:23:37,078 --> 01:23:39,612
- You scared away the swans.
- Hoagie?

1668
01:23:39,614 --> 01:23:41,247
- Hogan? Hogan.
- Hoagie!

1669
01:23:41,249 --> 01:23:43,716
I can't believe that you guys did this.
Right now.

1670
01:23:43,718 --> 01:23:47,119
Well, I don't think you get to claim the
moral high ground over us, actually.

1671
01:23:47,121 --> 01:23:48,855
Yeah, you're not better
than us.

1672
01:23:48,857 --> 01:23:50,322
You and your wife pretended to
have a goddamn miscarriage...

1673
01:23:50,324 --> 01:23:52,224
Misunderstanding!
Misunderstanding.

1674
01:23:52,226 --> 01:23:54,925
- Misunderstanding.
- In her vagina.

1675
01:23:54,927 --> 01:23:56,260
Wow. Oh, boy.

1676
01:23:56,262 --> 01:23:57,928
Guys, call a doctor!

1677
01:23:57,930 --> 01:23:59,563
- Can you hear me?
- Buddy?

1678
01:23:59,565 --> 01:24:01,399
- Hey!
- Somebody get a doctor!

1679
01:24:01,401 --> 01:24:04,033
- Bud?
- He's gone full loss of consciousness.

1680
01:24:04,035 --> 01:24:05,836
That's impressive.

1681
01:24:05,838 --> 01:24:09,205
- Even better than your performance. Right?
- I know! It's so good!

1682
01:24:09,207 --> 01:24:11,674
Excuse me, everyone,

1683
01:24:11,676 --> 01:24:13,242
everything's fine.

1684
01:24:13,244 --> 01:24:15,246
Uh... This is all just a game.

1685
01:24:18,082 --> 01:24:19,947
He's still unconscious,
but he's stable.

1686
01:24:19,949 --> 01:24:22,684
He really should never have been
this active given his condition.

1687
01:24:22,686 --> 01:24:25,455
- You can see him when he wakes up.
- Thanks.

1688
01:24:26,656 --> 01:24:28,121
I got this.

1689
01:24:28,123 --> 01:24:30,924
Excuse me, Doctor.
Hey, how are ya?

1690
01:24:30,926 --> 01:24:34,394
- Yeah.
- Dr. Yoon, is it?

1691
01:24:34,396 --> 01:24:36,229
- Yes.
- How do you spell that?

1692
01:24:36,231 --> 01:24:39,599
- You're looking right at it.
- I know, but I'm just asking you.

1693
01:24:39,601 --> 01:24:41,500
What exactly
are you asking me?

1694
01:24:41,502 --> 01:24:44,104
My friends and I do this thing,
it's this really weird game.

1695
01:24:44,106 --> 01:24:46,772
Is there any chance this is all
fake, that you could just tell me.

1696
01:24:46,774 --> 01:24:48,774
I won't tell the others.

1697
01:24:48,776 --> 01:24:50,442
Is this fake?

1698
01:24:50,444 --> 01:24:52,410
- This hospital?
- The whole thing, yeah. Is it fake?

1699
01:24:52,412 --> 01:24:54,179
That's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.

1700
01:24:54,181 --> 01:24:56,046
He told you to say that,
right?

1701
01:24:56,048 --> 01:24:58,449
- Look, I gotta prep a surgery.
- Will you just do me one quick favor?

1702
01:24:58,451 --> 01:25:00,584
Could you recite
the Hippocratic Oath for me?

1703
01:25:00,586 --> 01:25:02,721
That's not a thing
doctors memorize.

1704
01:25:05,458 --> 01:25:07,156
Still unsure.

1705
01:25:07,158 --> 01:25:09,392
It's gonna be fine.
It's just, it was a lot.

1706
01:25:09,394 --> 01:25:11,861
How does that all happen
at a wedding?

1707
01:25:11,863 --> 01:25:13,063
Hey, boss.

1708
01:25:13,631 --> 01:25:14,764
How did that go?

1709
01:25:14,766 --> 01:25:16,131
I'm all turned around.

1710
01:25:16,133 --> 01:25:18,033
About what?

1711
01:25:18,035 --> 01:25:19,801
If he's an actor
or if he's not.

1712
01:25:19,803 --> 01:25:23,307
He's not. He's a doctor.
We're in a hospital.

1713
01:25:24,273 --> 01:25:26,710
You're drinking the Kool-Aid.

1714
01:25:33,381 --> 01:25:35,749
All right. What do we do?

1715
01:25:35,751 --> 01:25:38,651
Look, Chilli, what's wrong with you?
Just go talk to the girl.

1716
01:25:38,653 --> 01:25:40,018
Could be a trap.

1717
01:25:40,020 --> 01:25:42,956
She's here for a friend
who is in the hospital. Okay?

1718
01:25:42,958 --> 01:25:44,623
You know I'm right.
I'm always right.

1719
01:25:44,625 --> 01:25:47,493
Okay, you're right about this,
but you are not always right.

1720
01:25:47,495 --> 01:25:50,127
- Buddy, I'm always right, and you know that it's true.
- Bob, you're not always right.

1721
01:25:50,129 --> 01:25:51,797
- 100%...
- 1989.

1722
01:25:51,799 --> 01:25:53,431
Oh, come on.

1723
01:25:53,433 --> 01:25:55,266
Ken Griffey, Jr. enters the
league, and what do you say?

1724
01:25:55,268 --> 01:25:56,834
He will never be
as good as his father.

1725
01:25:56,836 --> 01:25:58,169
And he's better
than his father.

1726
01:25:58,171 --> 01:26:00,370
- Where are the rings?
- You are so wrong!

1727
01:26:00,372 --> 01:26:03,206
The historical record
has proven that I am right.

1728
01:26:03,208 --> 01:26:05,442
You know what? Time will tell.

1729
01:26:05,444 --> 01:26:09,713
You will never admit that you
are wrong about anything.

1730
01:26:09,715 --> 01:26:11,781
Come on, it's been a while
since we've done this.

1731
01:26:11,783 --> 01:26:14,016
Come here, man.

1732
01:26:14,018 --> 01:26:15,451
This was a fun few days, man.

1733
01:26:15,453 --> 01:26:17,686
- I really missed you.
- I missed you, too, man.

1734
01:26:17,688 --> 01:26:20,021
- You want a breath mint?
- No, I don't want a breath mint.

1735
01:26:20,023 --> 01:26:21,824
- Stop it.
- You want a breath mint?

1736
01:26:21,826 --> 01:26:24,528
I would love a breath mint. I
got a gross taste in my mouth.

1737
01:26:31,233 --> 01:26:32,866
Hey, mind if I sit?

1738
01:26:32,868 --> 01:26:34,068
No.

1739
01:26:36,105 --> 01:26:38,005
Thanks for coming.

1740
01:26:38,007 --> 01:26:40,642
- I hope he's okay.
- Yeah, me, too.

1741
01:26:44,546 --> 01:26:45,747
Um...

1742
01:26:51,919 --> 01:26:55,720
I don't know if that...
We're in a hospital and...

1743
01:26:55,722 --> 01:26:57,154
- You know?
- Yes.

1744
01:26:57,156 --> 01:26:59,890
My friend is possibly dying.

1745
01:26:59,892 --> 01:27:04,193
But it feels like a time I need
to tell you how I feel about you

1746
01:27:04,195 --> 01:27:07,297
and I am so pumped
that your husband's dead.

1747
01:27:07,299 --> 01:27:09,299
- No.
- No.

1748
01:27:09,301 --> 01:27:12,136
But I'm really happy
to see you, Cheryl.

1749
01:27:13,672 --> 01:27:16,738
You are broke
and divorced and,

1750
01:27:16,740 --> 01:27:19,508
- just a fucking mess, really.
- Yeah.

1751
01:27:19,510 --> 01:27:21,309
But it's fun to see you, too.

1752
01:27:21,311 --> 01:27:23,311
Good. All right.
I'll take that.

1753
01:27:23,313 --> 01:27:26,647
I actually think that...

1754
01:27:26,649 --> 01:27:30,118
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I would see you again.

1755
01:27:30,887 --> 01:27:32,552
- For real?
- Yeah.

1756
01:27:32,554 --> 01:27:34,688
- Like a little date.
- No, definitely didn't say that.

1757
01:27:34,690 --> 01:27:37,257
- Like a dinner.
- Smaller than that.

1758
01:27:37,259 --> 01:27:39,428
- Like a lunch.
- How about a snack?

1759
01:27:40,361 --> 01:27:42,461
I'll take what I can get.

1760
01:27:42,463 --> 01:27:46,131
<i>Hoagie, I know
you're fucking with me.</i>

1761
01:27:46,133 --> 01:27:52,205
I'm not. I've got a tumor on my
liver the size of my right nut.

1762
01:27:54,174 --> 01:27:55,875
<i>Jesus.</i>

1763
01:27:56,610 --> 01:27:58,241
Yeah.

1764
01:27:58,243 --> 01:28:00,477
I know you're fucking with him but
what are you doing? What's the plan?

1765
01:28:00,479 --> 01:28:03,413
- Tell us what's going on.
- Chilli, there's no plan.

1766
01:28:03,415 --> 01:28:06,450
- What's going on?
- There's no plan, Chilli.

1767
01:28:06,452 --> 01:28:08,085
Stop winking at me.

1768
01:28:08,087 --> 01:28:09,786
Think it's real. This looks
like it's doing something.

1769
01:28:09,788 --> 01:28:12,254
Something real is happening
on this thing right here.

1770
01:28:12,256 --> 01:28:13,823
<i>How long have you known this?</i>

1771
01:28:13,825 --> 01:28:15,123
For three weeks.

1772
01:28:15,125 --> 01:28:16,592
<i>Three weeks.</i>

1773
01:28:16,594 --> 01:28:20,195
<i>Right nut.
Too specific, I call bullshit.</i>

1774
01:28:20,197 --> 01:28:22,230
<i>That's a lie.
Right? It's a lie.</i>

1775
01:28:22,232 --> 01:28:23,465
I'm not lying.

1776
01:28:23,467 --> 01:28:26,968
Although I did lie
about one thing.

1777
01:28:26,970 --> 01:28:29,303
Jerry's not quitting
at the end of the season.

1778
01:28:29,305 --> 01:28:31,138
<i>What? Why the fuck
would I quit?</i>

1779
01:28:31,140 --> 01:28:32,673
Yeah, I said that

1780
01:28:32,675 --> 01:28:35,676
to get everyone together,
you know, for one last round.

1781
01:28:35,678 --> 01:28:38,878
Hoagie, tell me you are
fucking joking about this.

1782
01:28:38,880 --> 01:28:40,880
Uh... No.

1783
01:28:40,882 --> 01:28:47,454
There is a decent chance I will
not be around for next season.

1784
01:28:56,130 --> 01:28:57,330
Damn.

1785
01:28:59,432 --> 01:29:02,532
And, I mean, plus,
even if you were, you'd be,

1786
01:29:02,534 --> 01:29:05,368
- you know. Really slow.
- Yeah.

1787
01:29:05,370 --> 01:29:06,970
A total sitting duck.

1788
01:29:06,972 --> 01:29:09,639
Carrying an IV bag around,
that's easy...

1789
01:29:09,641 --> 01:29:11,373
I had an uncle
that went through chemo,

1790
01:29:11,375 --> 01:29:13,342
and afterwards,
he was terrible at games.

1791
01:29:13,344 --> 01:29:17,279
But I guess that makes sense. It
would be weird if he got better.

1792
01:29:17,281 --> 01:29:18,947
Then everybody
would be getting chemo.

1793
01:29:21,952 --> 01:29:24,220
I love you guys.

1794
01:29:25,321 --> 01:29:28,556
Love, I love this game.
You know?

1795
01:29:28,558 --> 01:29:32,428
I don't know what it is.
It brings out the best in us.

1796
01:29:34,029 --> 01:29:35,829
Except today.

1797
01:29:35,831 --> 01:29:38,999
Today, I don't know.

1798
01:29:39,001 --> 01:29:43,771
I really fucked up your wedding,
Jerry, and I am super sorry.

1799
01:29:44,972 --> 01:29:46,505
Jerry?

1800
01:29:46,507 --> 01:29:49,911
- Has he... Has he hung up?
- Jerry?

1801
01:29:53,947 --> 01:29:57,751
You didn't fuck up my wedding, Hoagie.
Come on.

1802
01:29:58,952 --> 01:30:00,651
- Right?
- No.

1803
01:30:00,653 --> 01:30:02,986
You might have ruined
a moment. But...

1804
01:30:02,988 --> 01:30:06,355
I screwed it up. You should've
been up there with me.

1805
01:30:06,357 --> 01:30:08,192
All you boys should've.

1806
01:30:08,194 --> 01:30:09,759
That's my fault.

1807
01:30:09,761 --> 01:30:11,694
I always thought that
you guys were

1808
01:30:11,696 --> 01:30:13,663
just much closer to each other
than to me. So...

1809
01:30:13,665 --> 01:30:14,731
What?

1810
01:30:14,733 --> 01:30:16,732
I mean, if it seems like
we were closer,

1811
01:30:16,734 --> 01:30:19,601
it's only because
we're physically closer

1812
01:30:19,603 --> 01:30:21,104
because you always ran away.

1813
01:30:21,106 --> 01:30:22,637
Successfully.
You know, I mean,

1814
01:30:22,639 --> 01:30:24,773
not for nothing,
you might actually be

1815
01:30:24,775 --> 01:30:27,341
the very best person
at this game on the planet.

1816
01:30:27,343 --> 01:30:29,443
He might be, right?

1817
01:30:29,445 --> 01:30:32,312
Yeah, you're really good
at tag.

1818
01:30:32,314 --> 01:30:35,248
Yes, but you've kinda
missed the point.

1819
01:30:35,250 --> 01:30:38,585
I mean, it's not about trying
to get away from each other.

1820
01:30:38,587 --> 01:30:40,553
It's actually about

1821
01:30:40,555 --> 01:30:43,823
having a reason to be
around each other. You know?

1822
01:30:43,825 --> 01:30:45,225
Yeah.

1823
01:30:45,227 --> 01:30:47,826
I mean, Ben Franklin said it best.
Am I right?

1824
01:30:47,828 --> 01:30:49,862
"We don't stop playing
'cause we grow old..."

1825
01:30:49,864 --> 01:30:52,064
"We grow old because
we stop playing."

1826
01:30:52,066 --> 01:30:54,732
I been wanting to say for a few years,
that quote is not Benjamin Franklin.

1827
01:30:54,734 --> 01:30:57,435
That is German anthropologist
Karl Groos.

1828
01:30:57,437 --> 01:30:58,903
Why are you ruining
the moment?

1829
01:30:58,905 --> 01:31:00,838
- I don't wanna know that.
- He's in the hospital.

1830
01:31:00,840 --> 01:31:02,506
- It felt like the right moment.
- It's not the right moment.

1831
01:31:02,508 --> 01:31:03,473
- It is the right moment.
- It isn't.

1832
01:31:03,475 --> 01:31:05,010
So, Jerry...

1833
01:31:08,446 --> 01:31:09,813
It's 11:55.

1834
01:31:09,815 --> 01:31:12,550
Get in here,
and let me tag you.

1835
01:31:16,854 --> 01:31:18,721
You know, I've been
so attached, I suppose,

1836
01:31:18,723 --> 01:31:20,555
to my perfect record
all these years,

1837
01:31:20,557 --> 01:31:22,390
dominating you fools.

1838
01:31:22,392 --> 01:31:25,193
Maybe I should.
Maybe I shouldn't.

1839
01:31:25,195 --> 01:31:28,963
If you think about it,
Jerry is a tag virgin.

1840
01:31:28,965 --> 01:31:30,265
Or champion.

1841
01:31:30,267 --> 01:31:32,267
Just let us deflower you.

1842
01:31:32,269 --> 01:31:33,769
We'll be gentle.

1843
01:31:34,770 --> 01:31:35,771
I can't.

1844
01:31:37,672 --> 01:31:38,673
Come on.

1845
01:31:40,176 --> 01:31:41,774
I can't do it.

1846
01:31:41,776 --> 01:31:45,443
Then I'm not gonna tag anybody
and the game ends with me.

1847
01:31:45,445 --> 01:31:46,578
That's dark.

1848
01:31:46,580 --> 01:31:49,050
Or, just let me tag you.

1849
01:31:51,351 --> 01:31:53,086
All right, fuck it.

1850
01:31:59,159 --> 01:32:00,524
- It!
- Oh, my God!

1851
01:32:00,526 --> 01:32:02,026
Loser! Loser!

1852
01:32:02,028 --> 01:32:03,461
You suck!

1853
01:32:04,063 --> 01:32:06,529
Awesome.

1854
01:32:06,531 --> 01:32:09,332
- Yes!
- You officially suck.

1855
01:32:09,334 --> 01:32:10,567
Aw, you're so it!

1856
01:32:10,569 --> 01:32:12,904
Goddamn! All right!

1857
01:32:14,973 --> 01:32:17,039
I love you guys.

1858
01:32:17,041 --> 01:32:18,442
Love you too, man.

1859
01:32:22,012 --> 01:32:26,614
You know we got five minutes
left of May.

1860
01:32:26,616 --> 01:32:29,384
I ain't gonna be last it.
Bitches!

1861
01:32:47,969 --> 01:32:49,301
Look, Bob!
Where are you gonna go, Bob?

1862
01:32:49,303 --> 01:32:50,737
No!

1863
01:32:56,142 --> 01:32:58,912
Verbal amendment?
That women should be playing.

1864
01:33:00,379 --> 01:33:02,781
- Amendment.
- Yeah, amendment.

1865
01:33:04,817 --> 01:33:07,251
Oh, you just made
a big mistake.

1866
01:33:08,419 --> 01:33:11,053
- You're it, bitch!
- You're it now!

1867
01:33:11,055 --> 01:33:12,555
- You're going down!
- You're too intense!

1868
01:33:12,557 --> 01:33:14,824
You're gonna suck
my tiny ginger balls.

1869
01:33:14,826 --> 01:33:16,225
Gross!

1870
01:33:16,227 --> 01:33:17,459
You're gross!

1871
01:33:28,238 --> 01:33:29,805
Come on!
Shit! No.

1872
01:33:35,144 --> 01:33:37,344
- You're it.
- No, I can't get involved in the story.

1873
01:33:37,346 --> 01:33:38,678
We made an amendment!

1874
01:33:38,680 --> 01:33:40,313
Come on,
it's a little bit fun right?

1875
01:33:40,315 --> 01:33:41,650
You have about three minutes.

1876
01:33:54,928 --> 01:33:59,163
Sable! Come on.
Where are your ethics, buddy?

1877
01:33:59,165 --> 01:34:01,132
Come on. Just reach out.

1878
01:34:01,134 --> 01:34:03,533
- No!
- You got it.

1879
01:34:03,535 --> 01:34:04,668
Oh, shit, hang on a second.

1880
01:34:04,670 --> 01:34:05,969
You okay?

1881
01:34:05,971 --> 01:34:07,839
- You all right?
- Yeah.

1882
01:34:09,641 --> 01:34:10,943
You're it!

1883
01:34:48,110 --> 01:34:49,609
Tag, brother!

1884
01:34:52,380 --> 01:34:54,545
You're it!

1885
01:34:54,547 --> 01:34:57,182
- I'm it?
- You're it?

1886
01:34:57,184 --> 01:34:58,549
Now you're it.

1887
01:34:58,551 --> 01:35:01,520
You got me. No way!

1888
01:35:03,488 --> 01:35:05,992
- Not bad, huh? Pretty hot?
- Wow.

1889
01:35:16,533 --> 01:35:17,899
You're it!

1890
01:35:21,305 --> 01:35:22,740
Yeah, baby.

1891
01:35:24,208 --> 01:35:26,408
Hey, fucker. You're it!

1892
01:35:29,045 --> 01:35:30,847
You're it! Yeah!

1893
01:35:32,048 --> 01:35:33,582
You're it, baby!

1894
01:40:02,021 --> 01:40:03,889
- You're it.
- Fucker!

1895
01:40:03,891 --> 01:40:08,896
<b><font face="Rockwell" color="#FFFF00">Re-Sync & Improved By: FidelPerez</font></b>
<b><font face="Rockwell" color="#00FFFF">Sub Upload Date: August 12, 2018</font></b>