imagine peta showing up-to gordon ramsay’s house, top 10 ani may battles right-there,

does kirby use face wash on his entire body,

imagine fucking a girl-and she starts moaning-the halo-theme-song,

when my mom refuses-to put on-the air conditioner, be a lot cooler-if you did,

the-toilet-is clogged,

what-if at-the end of your long life-after you’ve drawn your last breath-and phased out of reality-the next thing you see-is-this message, you can now play as luigi,

tennessee man accused of dipping testicles in customer’s salsa, hey v sauce, michael here,

me, misses exactly one question, kahoot, I’m-about-to end-this man’s whole career,

me, be gentle closing-the door, passenger,

I-like big-butts-and I cannot lie, no other brother can deny, for a great low rate you could get online go-to-the general-to save-some time,

stalin, arrests all doctors-and sends-them-to jail, stalin, suffers stroke-and no one can bring a doctor, stalin, I’m gonna-be honest, I’m kind of retarded,

good night, say-it back,

fortnite virgins-when-they meet minecraft chads, you guys are getting laid,

every couple on real estate shows, I’m a part time kindergarten teacher-and my husband hangs potatoes in garages for a living, we’re looking for a penthouse loft downtown-and we-have a budget of 5 million dollars,

kid, plays violent games, kid, isn’t violent, politician, wait, that’s illegal,

ah our baby-is saying his first word, woof, woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof, he knows all-the words,

waitress, enjoy your meal, me, you-too, me, I’m gonna-be honest, I’m kind of retarded,

let me-be your ruler, looks-like-this box-is-about half a lorde long, this-is a terrible unit of measurement,

worm eats dirt bird eats worm man eats bird, notice-that at each level of-the food chain-about 90 percent of-the energy-is lost in-the form of heat, we cut out-the middle men, join me eating dirt-to-become a-being of pure energy,

peta, breathes, reddit, do you are-have stupid,

flat earthers accidentally prove-the earth-is round in netflix documentary,

flat earthers used self destruct,

best animated film, disney, spider man

jewish slash muslim doctors-when-they see an infant with foreskin,

always get bare stressed with music as I get-to my destination, like fuck only got 5 mins left which tune deserves-this final sacred place,

bitch I’m try nah play mine craft s m h you in-or nah, make me your bitch, ok emma, listen up, if you don’t play-the craft, you can’t get-the shaft,

peta, steve erwin deserved-what happened-to him, australians, you’ve yee’d your last haw,

thomas edison-when-someone else invents-something, I’m-about-to end-this man’s whole career,

imagine-being a dog-that’s just tryin-to chill at a party-and-then-some girl from a dating app who’s fluent in sarcasm spends-the entire night aggressively petting you,

the-tooth ferry,

sponge bob porn, need-to connect with god, need truth in your life, this prayer could change everything, why wait,

porn sites, do not enter-unless you’re over 18, people under 18, huh,

I wonder who-that’s for,

when you google one symptom-and find out you died,

nobody, tech youTubers, new phone-that just released,

tell me you’re not interest in-this momo crap, no-but i am interested in moto moto,

pokeymon sword-and shield, pokeymon crusade,

so no head,

when you meet a kid who doesn’t do drugs-or bully anyone-but-is popular-because he’s a genuinely nice guy, this-is-beyond science,

hairstylist, how would you-like your hair, me, cut, hairstylist, you can’t just say cut, me, why, hairstylist, this-isn’t your movie, me, I know, cut was my next line stupid, her, yeah-and my next line was you can’t just say cut, me, fuck, director, cut, me, that’s my line stupid,

when you forget-to upvote a stefan karl stefansson meeme, I’m-sorry number one,

jesus 3 days-after his death, it’s rewind time,

cousins going-to my room, me,

I hate-being high-why I keep hearing footsteps, are you walking, oh shit,

gotta-have opposites dark-and light light-and dark in painting, it’s-like in life, gotta-have a little sadness once in a-while-so you know-when-the good times come, I’m waiting on-the good times now, inspiring speech 100,

when you’re approaching-someone in a long hallway-and you’re not sure-when-to-begin eye contact,

korean students make a raft out of potato chip bags-to prove-they-have-too much air in-them, not-the heroes we thought we needed-but-the heroes we really needed all along,

whoa, this vr-is-so realistic, you’ll never get featured in comment awards-and gets-turn into a-i funny meeme,

me, says slightly awkward thing-that everyone will forget in 5 minutes, my brain at 3 am for-the next 10 years, I-have decided-that I want-to die,

me, hey you’re cute wanna go out, her, no, me, would you do-it for a scooby snack, her, me, her, me, would you do-it for two scooby snacks, her, me, her, rokay,

the british east india company realizing-that-they can buy a shit-ton of tea-if-they get-the chinese addicted-to opium, cha ching,

reasons-why-the french lost-the war,

user, clicks not interested-button on youTube recommendation, youTube, I’m gonna pretend I didn’t see-that,

everybody gangsta till-the we start shootin,

remus, reme-is a good name for a city right, romulus, shame,

newborn spartan baby, coughs, spartans, yeet,

imagine-having sex-and he says say my name baby-but his name-is doofenshmirtz, curse-this tweet,

me, finished my time machine, friend, you gonna go back-and kill hitler, me, no I’m gonna do-something more important,

13 years ago in australia, me in lifeguard outfit, sorry guys you can’t-be on-the reef-today, steve erwin sad-to not swim with string rays, tomorrow’s another day,

some earrings I-ordered on aliexpress never arrived-and-they asked for photo evidence,

happy valentine’s, where-the fuck can I find one of those-someone tell me immediately,

australians don’t-have sex, australians mate, I spat out my coffee, sorry-about your coffee mate,

when-the news says-that-someone watched shrek 2 on netflix exactly 69,420 times, oh he might-be me,

sometimes how a rapper-begins a verse-is everything, what are-the greatest opening bars of all time, verse 3 quavo, I’ll eat a nibba ass-like an almond joy,

when you drop a dope ass meeme on-the group chat-but nobody laughed, there seems-to-be no sign of intelligent life anywhere,

in-the morning, my arms, my legs, my dick, my head,

when you’re not used-to weed-being legal-so you don’t know how-to-behave in a dispensary, give me-the plant,

my dog’s-best friend-is a brick,

therapist, listen I really need you-to relax, me, banging fists on table, but how can-it-be birthday cake flavor-if a birthday cake can-be any flavor,

when you drop from first-to sixth in mar e o kart-and get a blue shell, you’ve yee’d your last haw,

my 10 plus tamed wolves, me in my minecraft house,

when you decide not-to cheat on your spanish test-and take-the zero, no es mucho pero es trabajo honesto,

therapist, bean crocs-isn’t real-it won’t hurt you, bean crocs,

birthday surprise from boyfriend-when I got home, does your boyfriend-have dyslexia,

could go 25 year without seeing yer pal n-when ye ask wit-they’ve-been upty-there reply wid still-be fuck all mate,

phil please we are at work act professional,

looking forward-to watching-this billboard battle escalate, behind every good ford-is a shevy, because you won't move out of-the fast lane,

stop throwing random-items at-the spiders, but-they’re-after us, wow you actually wiped-them out, what did I hit-them with, potion of invisibility,

door frame, teenage boys,

when you see a deleted comment-that was downvoted heavily, what did-it say, what did-it say,

this outstanding modern problem requires an illegal move-beyond science, look how-they massacred my boy,

when you tell your parents a funny story-and-it turns into a life lesson,

teacher, ok guys time-to hand in your assignment, me, pretending-to look for-the assignment I never did,

when you click on shuffle-and-the music app plays 5 bangers in a row,

logs on-to club human,

meemes based on obscure images, me, a few people who think-it’s kind of funny,

women reveal-the two words-they love hearing during sehx, lemon cardboard,

me-when I use a plastic straw, I-have failed you,

I don’t know who shit-this was-but I needed-it, this-is probably-the most polite way-to eat-someone’s food lmao,

some say charmander-is-the-best, some say-it’s squirtle, but deep down we all know-that-the federal reserve-creates money out of thin air-and lends-it-to us with interest,

question of-the day, what should cost less, a gallon of gas-or a gallon of milk, yes, no, thank you for your cooperation,

thomas-the little train with his friend goo stav-the rail way gun,

rational people, zodiac signs, my roommate kyle, white girls,

plugs in one way, plugs in two ways, plugs in 360 degrees,

hey-andrew you coming-to-the potluck on saturday, wrong number buddy, I’m bring chili, I’m bringing chili, I’m bringing chili, I’m bringing chili, I’m bringing chili, ok, I’m bringing chili, I’m bringing chili, wrong number, I’m bringing chili,,

why can’t I find a guy-like, kim jong oon, hey, no, north korean propaganda, he’s literally-the guy in-the pic,

now-if you’ll excuse me I-have important matters-to attend-to, when did video games get-so realistic,

want-to come-to mine for coffee, banned, the server has automatically banned you for saying a bad word, you said-and-by coffee I mean hardcore penguin sehx,

pythagoras c 500 bc,

me an intellectual judging people for making-the same mistake I recently learned-to stop making,

use over time for bruh,

me, studies for-the whole day, my brain during-thee exam,

why-is baked pronounced baked-but naked-isn’t pronounced nak'd, because as-someone said english-is not a language-it’s three languages wearing a trench coat pretending-to-be one,

pretty bold of you-to say-that-since you got named-after-the-sound a plunger makes,

the words I plan-to use-to tell my crush-how I feel-about her, the words-that come out,

napoleon, russia, russian winter, napoleon,

stranger, disagrees with me, me, my first knife fight,

tennessee man accused of dipping testicles in customer’s salsa, florida man, finally, a worthy opponent, our battle will-be legendary,

british parrot missing for four years returns speaking spanish,

most popular girls names-by state, california,

laffy tafffy inventor, and for-the last taste test-this-is our banana flavor, boss, very good very good, chewing, have you ever tasted a banana-before, inventor, embarrassed, I-have not, boss, me neither, I’m sure-it’s fine,

this guy got matching tattoos with his girlfriend-and a year later-after-they broke up made-some changes-to-it, before, after,

me, I’d-like help with my taxes, accountant, ok-what state will you-be filing-them in, me, I’d say anxious, accountant, no I mean-what state-have you live in-this year, me, oh-sorry depressed,

dad, keep-that dog away from me, 2 weeks later, dad,

my only opinion-about mah lee ah drinking rosay-is-that-if I were an ex-president’s daughter I’d-be blowing lines off a secret service agent’s ass-and-if any of my friends called-the tabloids I’d-have-them framed for murder,

woman who marries herself-then cheats on herself-and blames-it on men, not yet ferbb,

canadians most of-the time, canadians in a war, canadians-after losing a ice hockey game,

1 plus 1 equals 3, this outstanding modern problem requires an illegal move-beyond science,

who was-the-italian dictator, chef boyardee, chef boyardee created-the fascist party in-italy in 1919-eventually making himself dictator prior-to world war 2, he was killed in 1945,

national dad conference, speaker, I’m glad you could all make-it, whole crowd, in unison, hi glad you could make-it we’re dad, speaker, puts up a pic of ID on big screen showing legal name-is glad you could all make-it, entire conference loses-their shit,

florida man confesses-to attempting-to barbecue child molesters, you are bad guy, but-this does not mean you are bad guy,

teacher, what are you laughing at, me, nothing, my brain, E lawn dusk, E lawn tusk, oh hi l o l,

when you’re a roman guard-and you see elephants walking out of-the alps, I’m getting a little nervous I’m ghettin a little uneasy,

barack me mama-like a wagon wheel,

meanwhile in el dorado kansas, be careful out-there, mermaid man-and barnacle boy think-they slick,

the german city-that avoided world war 2 destruction-by pretending-to-be switzerland, sneak 100,