sexlife.c

Originally Posted by CODE
/******************************************
[sexlife.c]
1 / 14 / 2006

Software designed to simulate [ill]will's
prison sexlife. Compiles under all tested
Windows and UNIX/Linux operating systems.

*******************************************/

/* WINDOWS BULLSHIT DELETE LINE BELOW IF NOT COMPILING ON WINDOWS */
#define WINDOWS
#ifdef WINDOWS
#include <windows.h>
#define usleep(x) Sleep(x / 1000)
#endif

#include <stdio.h>
#include <string.h>
#include <stdlib.h>

/* CONFIG DEFINES */
#define DELAY 60000
#define NUM_CUM 3
#define NUM_PUMPS 10

/* PROGRAM DEFINES */
#define BUF_SZ 20
#define DICK_IN 1
#define DICK_OUT 0


/* GLOBALS */
char *dick = " c====8";
char *wills_ass = "(__*__)";


/* FUNCTIONS */
void fuck(char *buf, char *ass_ptr, char *dick_ptr)
{
unsigned short measure_ass = ass_ptr - wills_ass + 1;

snprintf(buf, measure_ass, "%s", wills_ass);
strncat(buf, dick_ptr, BUF_SZ);

return;
}

/* Always the best part. Expects buf to be a "%s%s" of wills_ass, dick */
void cum(char *buf)
{
char cum_char[] = { '~', '\x20'};
unsigned short cum_ctr, cycle;

for(cycle = 0; cycle < NUM_CUM * 2; ++cycle)
for(cum_ctr = 7; cum_ctr > 2; --cum_ctr)
{
usleep(DELAY);
buf[cum_ctr] = cum_char[cycle % 2];
if(cum_ctr < 5)
buf[cum_ctr - 2] = '#';
printf("%s\r", buf);
fflush(stdout);
}

return;
}

/* MAIN PROGRAM */
int main(int argc, char *argv[])
{
char *ass_ptr, *dick_ptr, buf[20];
unsigned short direction, pumps;

/* Pull his jumpsuit down, a.k.a. initialize variables. */
ass_ptr = &(wills_ass[6]);
dick_ptr = &(dick[0]);
direction = DICK_IN;
pumps = 0;

/* Ohh, baby... Begin sequence. */
do
{
/* Clear the buffer, fuck him in the ass, and tell everyone about it. */
memset(buf, 0, BUF_SZ);
fuck(buf, ass_ptr, dick_ptr);
printf("%s \r", buf);
fflush(stdout);
usleep(DELAY);

/* Perform sex logic. */
switch(direction)
{
case DICK_IN:
if((dick_ptr >= &(dick[2])) && (ass_ptr > &(wills_ass[3])))
--ass_ptr;
else if(dick_ptr < &(dick[6]))
++dick_ptr;
/* Big dude slid it all the way in, now take it back out. */
else
direction = DICK_OUT;
break;
case DICK_OUT:
if((dick_ptr <= &(dick[2])) && (ass_ptr <= &(wills_ass[6])))
++ass_ptr;
else if(dick_ptr > &(dick[0]))
--dick_ptr;
/* Complete. Increment pump count and get ready to go back in. */
else
{
direction = DICK_IN;
++pumps;
}
break;
}
}
while(pumps < NUM_PUMPS);
cum(buf);
puts("\nDon't drop the soap, Lil' Willy.");
#ifdef WINDOWS
system("PAUSE");
#endif

return 0;
}