A Man's Name (Father's Day)

“Arata?”
“No.”
“Isamu?”
“Try again.”
“Damn it. Is it Junoichi?”
“Oh, thank God it isn't! I'd never forgive my parents.”
“Ugh. It isn't something stupid like a foreign name, is it?“
“Do I look like a foreigner to you?”
“It was worth a shot.”

Two men sit in the front seat of the ambulance, a stocky, green and white vehicle covered in reflective, backwards letters. Outside, rain falls in buckets, filling the air with a dampness and shaking the vehicle with intermittent rumbles of thunder and illuminating the cabin with flashes of light. Both sip at cups of steaming coffee to keep the damp away, one black, the other with half a cup of sugar and cream in it. Both are fairly young, but the man behind the wheel has something about him, a more experienced look to his face that would identify him immediately in any group as either the leader or the man you would talk to to get things done. The other has the look of eager inexperience and an obvious follower presence as he grills his companion over a matter of familiarity that has been bothering him for weeks since they started working together.

“Just tell me your damn name, okay?”
The seasoned veteran smiles as he sips at his coffee, the savory black mixture a pleasant, bitter sensation on his tongue. “I've gotten this far in life without it, why should I start now?“

His younger companion, whose name was Yasu according to the letters on his hospital employee jacket, narrows his eyes at the man he only knows as Driver. It was infuriating to Yasu to know the man for so long and not even be aware of what his real name was. At first it had been simple forgetfulness that he never learned what to call him. Yasu was new at the hospital, so everyone to him was 'Sir' or '-San' or 'Doctor' or 'Isha'. The man who drove the ambulance next to him was 'Sir' for the first few weeks as he showed Yasu the ropes until they became familiar enough to drop the formalities. That was when the ridiculous guessing game started that Yasu finds himself playing between driving to radio calls and answering incidents. At first it was silly, Driver had started calling Yasu by his first name, so Yasu thought at that point it would be all right to call his superior by a less formal title since they seemed to be getting along so well. The man was funny and personable and often joked with Yasu. On two occasions they had gone out to bars where Yasu had awkwardly flirted with a girl while they flocked around Driver with his toothy and easy grin and his sharp hospital jacket. Driver had told Yasu he was trying to hard, to let the job do the work for him. He said that the ladies love a man in uniform, especially one they could feel safe around; cops were too uptight, firemen were jerks, but EMS workers? The ladies felt safe around them, with just the right amount of macho to impress them without intimidating them. Yasu had to admit, he had been right and thanks to the advice he hadn't left the bar alone though Driver did. Yasu thinks he might be gay, but you can get into trouble at work for digging into that sort of thing, so he didn't ask why Driver hadn't taken one of the obviously smitten ladies back home with him.

That was another thing; Yasu had no idea where this guy lived. Yasu went home every night to his tiny apartment between shifts, but Driver always seemed to be at the hospital no matter what shift Yasu got called to. It was like the man lived there, had no personal life outside the white walls of the medical world. Yasu had once left Driver sleeping in one of the break rooms and when he came back the next day, the guy was sitting up in the same cot drinking coffee like he had just woken up. Just as his name though, personal details were things Driver refused to share. All Yasu knew was he had been working at the hospital for as long as anyone could remember and had enough experience that even some of the doctors asked him for advice. He was well educated, good at his job and steel under pressure. Everything the pair came up to in their work, Driver would give it a cool, calculating scan and start giving orders for him to follow. Yasu thought he might have been former military, maybe a combat medic. The man was an enigma, a blank spot and Yasu was convinced he could crack him and find something out about his mysterious superior, even if it was just his name.

“Souta?”
“Not a chance.”
“Yamato?”
“I like that name, but it isn't mine.”
“Takehiko?”
“That's a mouthful, and no.”
“Wait, this isn't some sort of trick question, is it? Like, your name isn't my name, right? It's not Yasu?“
“Of course not, that's a stupid name.”
“Very funny. Maybe I should just buy one of those books full of baby names and start listing them off from cover to cover?“
“Well, chances are you'll get it eventually, but it will take a lot of time. You'll also look silly with a baby book.“

Yasu groans and outside lightning flashes, illuminating the inside of the vehicle briefly. He had already scoured everywhere he could think of for clues, but nothing showed up. No name on his jacket or badge, just 'Paramedic' or 'EMS'. His locker was unmarked and his gym bag just had a tag which said, 'Mine' on it in Driver's handwriting, which was hard enough to read. That was another hurdle to overcome; Driver had possibly the worst handwriting Yasu had ever seen and his signature was a mess of cramped kanji and messy scribbles. If he signed hospital documents with his real name, Yasu was never able to tell because of the poor penmanship. Still, it was accepted as his by it's unmistakable shape, even though it was bad even by comparison to other doctor's handwriting which always seems to be terrible by any standard. Driver seemed to be at the low end of the spectrum. Yasu suspected his signature was nothing more than his initials because it was far too short and stubby to be a full name, adding another level of complexity to his search.

“This is getting ridiculous.”
“It is, you should stop asking.”
“It's unnatural not knowing the name of someone you work with. We have a professional relationship, heck, maybe a friendship going on, you should be decent enough to tell me your name.“
“I don't see what the big deal is. Why is my name so important? I've never gone by it, never used it, I just always relied on nicknames.“
“Well, you haven't always been an ambulance driver, so what did people call you before that?“
“I like driving the wagon, it's a fun job. When I was in high school, my friends called me Slugger.“
“You were in baseball?”
“I played baseball, but I was never on the team. I never could get that whole team spirit thing right. I liked playing and I was really good at it, and I had a pretty fantastic swing, but I never dedicated myself enough to try out. I didn't want to rely on a sports scholarship to get through medical school.“
“Some of the orderlies put together a game now and then, you should join us.“
“I used to play with them, but they won't let me anymore. They say I'm too good and I throw the whole game off. Besides, I don't like getting too close to people at work.“
“Really? How come?”
“After a few years working this job, you'll understand. Everyone keeps their distance in some way, deals with what we do every day in a way that keeps them sane. Some of us have families, some of us work out in the gym, others hook up with a nurse in the break room or drink when they get home. I like to keep a distance, I try not to let things get to me. You get close to people, it makes it harder to avoid a 'bad day'.“

“'Bad day'?”

Driver nods over his steaming coffee, the window wipers tossing droplets of rain off the glass. “Yeah, everyone has a bad day waiting for them. It could be anything; a case, a call, a relationship with a coworker, one very, very bad day. It's that one thing that ends you, that ruins you for this job for the rest of your life. How successful you are working in a hospital is determined by how long you can avoid that bad day from finding you. I like this job, I don't want it ruined. Being an ambulance driver is the best job in the world as far as I'm concerned; fresh air, travel, I get to help save people's lives and drive fast without getting a ticket. I don't want something spoiling this job for me. I just answer calls, pick people up and get them to the hospital as fast as I can. If they're still breathing when I push that gurney into the emergency room, I've done my job and I can move on with my life guilt free.“

“Isn't that a little cold?”

Driver sets the now empty coffee cup in the holder next to his leg between them. “No, it's survival. You'll understand the longer you work here. You can see some pretty terrible things on this job, it's important to distance yourself a little, otherwise you get caught up in other people's trauma and we have enough to worry about keeping people alive. You're doing them a favor by staying distanced, it keeps you sane. Finish the job and move on to the next one. The person you help save next will thank you when you're focused on them and not the person you lost the time before.“

Yasu shrugs, just about finished with his own coffee. “I know that, they told us all about it in medical training. Still, does that mean you have to torment me with this name nonsense?“
“You're the one who cares so much.”
“It isn't that much to ask who you are.”
Driver gives his easy, wide grin. “I'm your driver and your boss, that's all I need to be. I get us where we need to go. I'm an ambulance driver, that's my job and that's all that matters.“

Over the sound of the falling rain, the radio crackles and begins barking words in static and audible snow. Driver picks up the receiver and speaks back, answering the call while Yasu strains to pick up the lingo and radio wordplay he's just starting to get used to.

Driver slams the talker down and shifts the idling vehicle into drive. “What's the call?” Yasu asks.
“Vehicle incident. Should have expected it in this weather. It's not too far, hold on.“

Yasu can hear the tires squeal as they dig into the pavement and standing water as they rush out of the parking lot they've been sitting in. “Any more info?”
“Two vehicle collision at an intersection, one of them probably ran the red light,“ Drive says, focusing on the road.
“Who made the call?”
“One of the vics, says he's stuck in the wreckage, doesn't know about the other guy.“
“Anything else?”
“Yeah," he says, hitting the sirens and lights. "He's got a little girl in the back seat.“

The ambulance roars down the road with the thunder in the air.

----------------------------------------

It's too dark when they pull up to the intersection the radio told them the incident was at. The streetlights are out and the traffic lights are dead and cold. Both Driver and Yasu pull up the hoods of their jackets to keep the water off and step out, retrieving bags of supplies and equipment from the back of the ambulance. “Power is out, that explains it. I bet neither one of them saw the other until it was too late,“ Driver says over the pounding rain.

He steps out from behind the ambulance, pulling out a high power flashlight which floods a beam of light towards the center of the road. Sitting there is a hunk of twisted metal, shredded steel and broken glass in a smashed amalgamation of what used to be two separate vehicles.

Driver looks at it with a stern gaze, like he was intimidating the wreckage into submission. “Yasu, keep the lights on the ambulance going, I want you to set up flares one-hundred feet down the road in every direction to keep oncoming traffic away. Get on the horn and call the fire department, tell them we'll need the can openers to get them out and to hurry up. Then tell police to get the city to fix the lights here. I'm going to check it out.“
“Yes, sir.”

Yasu gets to work, leaving Driver to walk up to the wreckage.

It was hard to tell, but Driver couldn't smell gasoline and neither vehicle was running, so the threat of a fire was low. The rain should help with that, but it wasn't a guarantee. He flashed his light back and forth, looking for any signs of life within the crumpled heap. One was a small car, the other a big truck, but they must have hit at extremely high speeds to end up in this state. There wasn't an intact piece of glass in either of them and both are unrecognizable in make and model.

Driver steps up to the truck's driver door, hanging limply off it's hinges, and peers inside with his flashlight.

Seeing what's in there, what remains of the single occupant, he takes a calming breath and shuts out any visceral response. He's glad he told Yasu to take care of other things, the kid would have likely vomited all over the scene. The cabin was covered in hair and blood and a quick check confirms his suspicions that the driver was dead, not wearing his seat belt and obviously not the caller. Lucky for him, he wouldn't have likely been living long being in that state and even if he was, he may not want to be.

“Hello?”

Driver can barely hear the call over the sound of the rain, but it definitely comes from the other car. He steps over shattered glass to get to it, shining his light into the interior.

Inside, hunched over the wheel, is a male, late twenties, wedged up against the steering column. The windshield is obliterated and there's bits of it in his hair and blood on his face, but the airbag deployed so it could have been a lot worse. That combined with the seat belt around him is likely the reason he's still breathing. Driver leans over the mangled hood of the car through the windshield to get to him.

“Are you... here to help?” the man asks.
“I sure am, sir.”
Driver crawls over to him, checking with his eyes, getting his pulse, practiced routines and operations used and drilled into him for years, pulling equipment from his bag without even having to bother searching for them, everything in it's place, the process done hundreds of times before. “Did you make the call?“ he asks to keep the man talking.
The victim weakly lifts a cell phone clutched in his hand. “Battery died.“
“Well, that's all right, we got here right away. We'll take good care of you.“
“Not me. My daughter. She's... in the back seat. She was sleeping.“
“I'll get right to her, why don't you give me your name.“
“It's... Ibarazaki. Yamato Ibarazaki.”
“Hey, Yamato! I like that name.”
“Please, help my daughter.”
“I'll check on her once I'm sure you're good, Yamato. You don't mind if I call you Yamato, do you?“
“No.“
“That's good, I always have trouble with names.“
“Who, who are you?”
“Me? I'm nobody, I'm just a guy, that's all. You can call me Paramedic if you want. I'm here to help.“
“What kind of name is that?“
“I'm your hero and the guy who's going to look out for you, that's all I need to be. I get you out of trouble. I'm a paramedic, that's my job and that's all that matters. What's your daughter's name?“
“Emi. Her name is Emi.”
“How old is Emi?“
“She's eleven.“
Paramedic keeps talking, making idle chitchat while he works, keeping the man's focus on him. The crash pinned Yamato in the seat, crushing him fairly badly from the chest down. He seems lucid, but he keeps drifting off and it takes a couple times for Paramedic to get him to respond to a few of his questions. He can't see how bad it was from the chest down, but there wasn't much he could do about that until the department showed up with some power tools to cut away at the steel cage he was dealing with.
“Tell me what hurts, Yamato? You have a headache? Would you like some aspirin? I have some in my pocket if you want.“
“No, I feel fine.”
“Nothing hurting?”
“Not really. That's not good, is it?”

Paramedic doesn't let the worry show on his face or in his voice.

Satisfied that Yamato was all right for the foreseeable future, Paramedic grabs his bag and prepares to check the back of the vehicle. “Well, I'm going to check on Emi, all right? I'll be right back.“
“She was sleeping. I can't... turn around to see. Is she okay? Is she all right?“
“It's going to be fine, Yamato, you just stay there and let me handle things. That's my job. Do you know what side she was sleeping on?“
“Right behind me. She was sleeping behind me.”
“Was she wearing her seat belt?“
“Of course, I put her in myself.“
“Okay, I'll be right back.”

Paramedic extracts himself from the wreckage and has to squeeze through what used to be the rear driver's side window to check on the back of the car, flashlight gripped between his teeth, the rain water streaming down his hood and drenching his shirt. The impact was sideways, smashing the two vehicles into one. Point of contact was on the passenger side, if it had been otherwise, he likely wouldn't have just had a conversation with Mr. Ibarazaki. If Emi was on the same side and had her seat belt on, chances were good she was still alive.

When he gets about halfway through the window, he can look just under the crumpled roof into the back seat to find her.
Sprawled out on the seat, seat belt still intact, the little girl lays on her side surrounded by intruding, jagged metal walls inches from her body. Even with his light it's too dark to see, but the car is almost folded around her legs, pinning her much in the same way as her father, just lower down. Her slumped position had likely kept her from getting caught any worse in the collapsing wreckage. If she had been a little bit taller or sitting up straight, the car could have bent around her neck.

His flashlight reflects off of the tiny shards of glass all over her pale face, like diamonds covered in blood.

For a moment, Paramedic just stares at how perverse it seems for something so delicate and fragile to be so harshly treated and handled. Even with her legs caught it was a matter of inches between her being pinned and severed in half.

He has to shake the sight off before he can get to work, checking her just as her did for her father. Her breathing is steady, but she's out of it. Her tries to wake her up, quietly so as not to panic her father with her unresponsiveness. Despite her paleness, she doesn't look like she lost too much blood, but Paramedic doesn't like the twisted, bloody metal around her legs.

“Is she all right? Tell me she's okay,“ Yamato weakly calls from the front of the vehicle.
“Its fine, Yamato, Emi is breathing.”
“Thank God. Is she awake?”
“You let me worry about Emi, okay? You take care of yourself.“

Neither of them would be moving until they could cut away the car and get them to the hospital. Their injuries were bad, but Emi's were mostly to her legs, she should make it. Paramedic was more worried about Yamato at this point.

Paramedic crawls back out of the car to find Yasu jogging up to the wreck, drenched head to toe in the rainwater, gasping for breath. “Flares are up and I called the department, they're on their way. Just a few minutes.“
“Good. Two inside, you watch after the girl, back seat, seat belt on, non-responsive. Keep her stable, I'll be in the front with the driver.“
“You got it, Boss.”

They get to their jobs, Paramedic crawling back to Yamato. “Hello again, sorry for the wait. How have you been? Anything important happened while I was gone?“
“Emi? She's okay?”
“Don't you worry about Emi, Yamato, I got my best guy keeping on eye on her.“
“Is she hurt? Is she going to be fine?”
“She's a little banged up, but she should be okay for now. I'm more worried about you, mister. How are you feeling?“
“It's... I'm feeling dizzy. It's hard to breathe.”
“I imagine so, you have a truck sitting on you.”
“What about the other driver? I never saw him, I couldn't see anything.“
“The power was out, the streetlights were down.”
“Is he okay?”
“What I need from you is for you worry about yourself and Emi for the time being, all right? Anything outside this vehicle doesn't matter.“
“Did I... did I cause this? Is this my fault?”
“Fault is for the police and lawyers to worry about, Mr. Ibarazaki. Now, me and you are going to sit tight until the fire department arrives and we can get you out of this mess and get you and Emi home.“

Ibarazaki nods weakly while Paramedic goes over him, checking his pule, shining a penlight in his eye and talking, constantly talking. “So what do you do for a living, Yamato?”
“I sell insurance. Ironic, right?”
“I don't see why it would be. You're probably better prepared than I am. See me, I drive an ambulance, I don't have to worry about thing like gas and repair bills and insurance, the hospital takes care of all that for me. I'll admit, it's inconvenient at times; they don't like it when I use it to pick up groceries or run errands.“
“Or pick up girls?”

Paramedic chuckles. “No, they really don't like that. It's a shame, ladies love the uniform and the flashing lights get them excited. How about you? Big strapping guy like you must not need a fancy car like me to get the ladies.“
“Hey, watch it,” Yamato says with a tired grin, “I'm married and I have a kid.”
“Of course, should have known. You can never tell this day with people, plenty of guys with kids on their own. So tell me about Mrs. Ibarazaki, what is she like?“

“She's... amazing,” Yamato says, gasping for air. “Great cook. Beautiful. We went to high school together.“
“She can cook? Hey, if this doesn't work out for you, do you mind if I give her a call or something?“

Yamato stares at Paramedic with a confused expression. “What... did you say?”
“That was a joke, Yamato, try to keep up. I want you to smile for me.“

Ibarazaki finally gets it and smiles for Paramedic, the beginnings of a chuckle halted by a hiss of pain. “Don't make me laugh.”
“Sorry, you were just going on and on about your fantastic wife and how great things are going for you, I was getting jealous of your white picket world. I needed to bring you down to me and my crappy single life, apartment level. She sounds pretty amazing.“
“She is. She's a great mom, it's what she always wanted to be. Emi and I couldn't be any luckier to have her.“ A look of alarm and panic passes over his face. ”I have to call her. I have to tell her what happened.“

He tries to struggle, but Paramedic gently pushes him back down against the wheel before he hurts himself more straining against the weight of the wreck pressing down on him. “Yamato, you need to stay right here, we have people who can call her. You'll be seeing her soon, I promise.“
“She needs to know about Emi.”
“We'll tell her, you'll both be fine. Just be patient and everything will work out. Tell me more about Mrs. Ibarazaki.“
“We... we, uh, met in high school.”
“That's right, did you two start dating then?”
“Yeah. I was on the track team, she was more the home economics type. We had a few classes together. Took me weeks to work up the courage to talk to her and ask her out to an arcade. I won her a teddy bear.“
Paramedic grins at the story after injecting something into Yamatou without him knowing, keeping him talking and distracted from his work. “Good move, girls like that sort of stuff. How long did you date before you asked her to marry you?“

“A couple years. We... we got engaged when we found out she was pregnant. Always wanted to ask, never got around to it. Seemed like the perfect time if we were going to have a kid together.“
“That was Emi, yeah?”
“Yeah. She's our only one. She's fantastic.”

“Tell me about you and Emi, what did you two do today?“

Yamatou sighs, leaned up awkwardly against the steering wheel. “We went to, uh, the park.”
“What did you do there?”
“We ran. We run, it's what we do together.”
“In this weather?”
“She insisted. She can't go a day without running. I knew the weather report, that it was going to rain, but she was really looking forward to it. We have that in common, I was in track in high school, did you know that?“
“I did not know that.”
“Yeah, I was pretty good. That's how I met my wife.”
“What was her name again?”
“Meiko. Her name is Meiko. Didn't I say that?”
“You may have, excuse my terrible memory. So you and Emi were running at the park?“
“Yeah, we do every weekend. It's our time together. I work a lot so we try to go jogging every morning before I go to work, but the park is our time. I have the day off, so we go to the track, the one at the big city park, that little one around the pond near the amusement park?“
“I think I've been there and fed the ducks once.“
“We got chased off by the rain but it still took me almost a half hour to get her back in the car. She didn't want to stop.“
“How old is Emi?“
“She's eleven.”
“Wow, she's only eleven and she runs with you every morning? She must really love it.“
“She does. My little girl is a machine. I've been jogging for years and she keeps up with me most of the time. She's a rocket ship.“

Ibarazaki looks to be struggling to gather his thoughts for something, trying to put two and two together. “Is she okay? Is Emi all right?”
“Emi is fine, Yamato, you don't have to worry about her.“
“Is she hurt? Is she all right?”
“She's fine, Yamato, don't worry.”
“If something happens too her... how am I going to tell Meiko?“
“You won't have to tell her anything, it's going to be fine.“
“She's okay, right? She's fine, yeah?”
“Of course she is.”
“Please don't lie to me. Not when I'm like this.”

Paramedic takes a moment to choose his words carefully. He doesn't want to upset Ibarazaki, but in this state, it's unfair to try and hide what he's thinking from the man. “She's all right, but she's in there pretty badly. There's a lot of wreckage and I couldn't see very well, but I think her legs are in a pretty bad way. I'll be able to tell more when we get her out.“

The news sinks in and Paramedic can see it tear into the man by the look in his eyes. “Is she going to be okay?”
“I don't really know that yet, I can't say.”
Ibarazaki presses his face into the steering wheel, his face pale and shocked. “That's not fair. She's a runner, that's what she does! That's what she's always wanted to do!“

“Hey, we don't know anything, all right? What's important right now is we're going to get the two of you out of here safe and sound, okay? You'll both be fine.“

Paramedic hadn't noticed it but sirens had been building over the last couple minutes as he had been talking to Yamato. “Now I'm going to check what all the racket is out here and I'll be right back. You stay right there.“
“Not like I have much of a choice,” Ibarazaki says with a despondent tone Paramedic doesn't like.

Paramedic climbs out of the wreck, several fire trucks and emergency vehicles pulling up and splashing from the standing water under their wheels. Men start climbing out of the vehicles and getting to work, one of them approaching Paramedic. “That you, Driver?”

The man is the fire chief, Paramedic recognizes him from the unfortunate crisis' that makes their work cross paths. “Yeah, good to see you, chief. I'm surprised you're out in this.“
“Quiet night, not much else to do. Heard over the radio you were having trouble?“
“Not quiet enough,” Paramedic says, looking back at the wreck. He shakes his jacket, trying to get the water off of him, but between walking around and being wedged inside the wreck, he's soaked to the bone so thoroughly that nothing short of a hot shower and a change of clothes will be able to fix it. “Guy in the truck is a goner, wasn't wearing his seat belt. Two in the car, male, late twenties, stuck in there really bad.“
“I heard. He has a little girl?”
“Yeah. She's in there too, I'm worried about her legs, but she should make it.“
“What about the man?”
Paramedic thinks for a moment. “I don't know, I can't see much of him.”
“Do you want to drive them together?“
“I'd rather get them to the ER as fast as possible.“
“No one is as fast as you are. You want to drive him?“
Paramedic pauses in thought, determining which one needs him the most. “Yeah, I'll stay close to him.“
“We have another wagon ready to go for her. What do you want us to do,“ the older man asks.
“You have enough crew here, I want you to start at the back and get the girl out, I'll stick to the guy and I want you have your boys pry him out while I keep an eye on him.“
“You got it,” the chief says, beginning to order his men to the tasks Paramedic assigned them.

In a few minutes, Paramedic is back in the wreck with Mr. Ibarazaki, now with a crew of firefighters armed with machines and tools to extract him.
“What about Emi? You need to get her first,” he says.
“I got my best guys helping her, don't worry.”

One of the firefighters calls out that they're ready to start moving the sections of the car away. “Okay, Yamato? We're going to get you out of there in just a second, okay? I'll just take a quick peek at you to see what we're dealing with.“
“O-okay.”

Paramedic gives a nod to the firefighters to begin.
Having already cut into the vehicle, they start to pull the pieces away like layers.
The car shifts and Yamato starts screaming.
“Stop it! Knock it off!” Paramedic screams back.

The firefighters halt their work at his order. Paramedic bites down on his flashlight and crawls deeper into the vehicle to where he couldn't see before, shining his light, trying to find the problem.

When he finds it, it's a while before he can come to terms with the changed situation. He thinks, he struggles to find some compromise to make things work out the way they should, but a black pit of doubt builds in his chest.

He climbs back out with a smile on his face. “Just a little hang up, Yamato, give me a second to talk to these guys.“
He tries not to acknowledge the look of worry on Ibarazaki's pale face.

Paramedic pulls himself from the wreck turning to the firefighters. He shouts and waves for Yasu to join them and bring the gurney. “He's in there bad,” he whispers to the group. “The cars keeping everything together. If we pull him out, he'll start losing blood fast. We need to get him to the hospital and into surgery.“ He turns to Yasu locking eyes with him. “Call ahead, get me blood and have them prep for a run in, I want to get from the parking lot to the operating table in ten seconds. Tell them to have Ishida ready in the ER, she's the best.“
“Shouldn't I stay and help?”
“I can handle this, now do what I told you. Get the wagon ready to go and get one of the cops to drive escort, I don't want anything in our way between here and there.“

Yasu runs off and the firefighters get ready to start again. Paramedic climbs into the vehicle with Ibarazaki. “Hey, sorry about that, didn't mean to pinch you back there.“
“That was more than a pinch. What's wrong?”
“Nothing, we're just going to get you out of this and get right to the hospital.“
“What about Emi? Shouldn't she go first?”
“Nah, we got another wagon ready for her, I'll just stick with you. It's been working so far.“
Yamato looks crestfallen. “Then I'm that bad, huh?”

Paramedic tries to keep the smile up. “I won't say you're not worrying me.”
“Can you get me out of this thing?”
“Of course.”
“Will I be all right?”

Paramedic takes too long to answer and Yamato rests his head on the wheel. “Oh. I see.”
“Listen, don't be like that all right? Do you know who I am? I am the best ambulance driver in Japan. My tires were granted to me by the gods. No one knows the roads like me. I am the fastest thing you have ever seen, so unless you want to run there yourself, Mr. Jogger, you're just going to have to trust me that I'll get you there.“
“I would rather you take Emi.”
“She'll be taken care of, right now I'm here for you, I promise.“

Ibarazaki nods, but in the dim light of the cramped wreckage, Paramedic sees a look on his face he's seen many times before. A thoughtful, distant gaze that tells him they both know the truth. “It isn't fair,” Yamato says. “My little girl... will she be okay? You said her legs... will she still be able to walk?“
“I really don't know, Yamato, and I'm not telling you that to try and make you feel better.“

Ibarazaki nods firmly. “Thank you. She'll be okay. She'll be fine. She'll walk, she'll run again. I couldn't stop her from running if I wanted to, so this shouldn't slow her down. I just...it's not fair to her.“

Paramedic puts his hand on Mr. Ibarazai's huge palm. “She'll be okay. No matter what happens, Emi will be fine. I'll make sure of that.“
“Thanks.” Ibarazaki pauses. “Listen, can I ask you something? If I don't make it....“
“Don't give me that death bed confession crap.”
Ibarazaki squeezes Paramedic's hand and he's shocked by how strong his grip is. “Seriously. Tell them I'm sorry. My wife and Emi. Tell them I'm sorry.“

Paramedic nods after a while. “Okay. I'll do that.”
He retrieves something from his bag. “I'm going to give you this to help with the pain. You're going to feel drowsy, but that's all right, it's nothing to be worried about. Then it'll be the express lane to the hospital, okay? Next thing you know you'll be waking up in a hospital bed with Emi next to you and that wife of yours leaning over the bed.“
“Yeah. Okay. That will be nice.”

Paramedic makes the injection, then nods at the firemen to get ready. “We're going to begin, Mr. Ibarazaki.”
He's already beginning to drift off, his response only a weak nod. “Hey?”
“Yes, sir?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course, Yamato.”
“What's your name?”
Paramedic tells him.

----------------------------------------

Hours later, at the hospital, the walls are stark white and clean, blinding lights above reflecting off the polished tiles and offsetting the glaring white with pale, gentle greens. Paramedic sits in a chair, still dripping wet, hands clenched in front of him staring at a spot on the wall. Yasu stands nearby with two cups of coffee, one held out to his boss but unacknowledged. “Boss, come on. It's nothing you did. It's like you tell me, sometimes they're already dead before we show up on the scene. Ambulances only drive so fast, we couldn't have gotten him here any sooner.“

Paramedic nods. He knows it's true, but it doesn't make it any better.

“You did everything you could for the guy. He was a goner, there's nothing wrong with that. What matters is it sounds like the little girl will be okay.“
“Emi.”
“Huh?”
“Emi will be okay.”

Yasu gets a worried look on his face. “Weren't you the one telling me not to get close to the job?“
Paramedic nods and looks up at the coffee cup, taking it from Yasu and taking a sip. “Yeah, I sure did.”

Yasu sits down next to him, trying to figure out something to say, his manner awkward and unsure. He isn't used to seeing the boss, to seeing Driver like this. He knows all the things you should tell a coworker trying to deal with something; you can tell them that it isn't their fault, that there wasn't anything more they could have done, that it was their time. He knows all the catch phrases and safety words to watch out for when dealing with another person's trauma, but it's not like in the manuals and training exercises. Just as there was only so much Driver could do for the victim, there's only so much Yasu can do for Driver. “Are you going to be okay,” he lamely checks.

Driver nods, taking a sip from the coffee, his hair dripping into the cup. “Yeah. Just a bad day, I guess.”

Yasu looks stunned, peers down at the cup in his hands and sips at his own coffee meekly. “What are you going to do?”
“I don't know. I'm sorry, Yasu, I would have liked to finish your training but... I'm done, I guess. I'm out. I know this shouldn't bother me." He shakes his head. "Damn it. I've seen... bodies torn in half, I've handled lost limbs and severed heads in motorcycle helmets. This... I don't know. Maybe I can transfer to another section of the hospital, I just need to fill in the paper work and get certified. I can get back into rehabilitation, that was what I went to university for. I just don't think I can get back in the wagon after that. Sitting behind the wheel again... I'm not sure I can handle that.“
"You could try. Maybe you'll deal with it with a little time?"
"No, I don't think so. "I've been here a few years, I've seen people crash enough times to know when it's happening to me. I'm crashed, I'm a smoking crater. I know when it's me who's had enough."

Yasu nods.

Paramedic puts a hand on his shoulder. “You'll be fine, kid. Someone else will look out for you until you're ready to go it alone. You have what it takes, I know it.“

"But... if you...."
"Yeah, I know, I didn't make it. This was my day, though, not yours. You'll do better than I did."
Yasu shrugs. “Just have to watch out for bad days, huh?”
“Yeah. Yeah, you do.”

Something screeches and makes Yasu jump in his chair. “What was that?”
Paramedic throws his empty cup away, trying not to listen to the screams. “I think they just told his wife.”

----------------------------------------

A hot shower and change of clothes can do a lot for a man. Paramedic slips into the hospital room late at night to check on her. Dozens of tubes go in and out of her tiny body and there's a disturbing lack of bumps where her legs should be under the blanket. He checks her chart, going down the list. He had talked to the surgeon and she wasn't sure if Emi would be able to walk again. It could take years for her recovery to take place and even then, she may be confined to a wheelchair the rest of her life.

Paramedic looks up at her from the chart and is surprised to see here awake and staring at him. “Who are you?” she asks in a slight slur.

The drugs are still working and he's shocked she's even awake. “Hey. I work at the hospital.”
“Are you another doctor?”
“Sort of, yeah.”
“Where's my mommy?”

Paramedic smiles. “Oh, don't worry. She's sleeping in the next room.”

He doesn't mention Mrs. Ibarazaki had to be sedated.

Emi looks around at the hospital room curiously, her big green eyes taking it all in very slowly. Even so, her reaction speed is good even with all the medication. “I'm thirsty,” she states.

Checking her chart again to make sure she can handle it, Paramedic gets a glass of water with a long straw for her. It takes some time, but she manages to grasp it with her one free hand and take a few sips, the other immobilized just like what's left of her legs.

“That good?”
“Yes. Thank you.”
Paramedic puts the glass on the table. “What happened?” she asks.
“There was an accident. You got hurt.”
“My foot is itchy.”
“I'll make sure to take care of that later.”
“Where's my daddy?”

Paramedic is lost for words.
Surprising him with her handling of the situation, her eyes grow a little wide. “Oh. Okay.”
“I'm sorry, Emi.”
“That's okay. I guess.”

His heart break with how lost she looks, the confusion and fear building up inside her. She looks like she's trying hold it in, but her lip begins to tremble. “But... why?”

He doesn't know what to say. “I don't know, Emi. Your daddy told me....”
“You know my daddy?”
“For a little while, yes, I did. He told me that he wanted you to know that he was sorry for what happened. He's sorry he had to go.“
"Is it his fault?"
"No, no, it's not his fault he had to leave."
“Then why did he?”

Paramedic shrugs helplessly “I'm sorry, Emi, I don't know why. These things happen.“

She takes a moment, letting it sink in. Her only response is a quick nod.
“I'm going to let you go back to sleep, all right?”
“Okay. Will my mommy be here when I wake up?”
“I think she will be. If not I'll be here and I'll go find her for you.“
“Thank you.”

Paramedic makes for the door before Emi speaks up again. “What's your name?”

He turns back and smiles widely. “Me? Oh, I'm nobody, I just work here. You can call me the Nurse.“