It was July 27th, 2018. As my friend SPC. Fleureus and I walked up, I removed my blouse to relax a bit before CoB (Close of Business) safety brief as we headed towards the end of the workweek. We were talking to the guys in SSA (Supply Support Activity). I stood there behind the SSA cage in half-regulation attire because in the Army we are required to be in accordance with AR 670-1, which is the regulation we interpret for the wear and appearance of the uniform including grooming standards, but these things tend to be overridden as work requires. We stood around with some fellow soldiers talking about random bull as we do in the U.S. Army. As I felt the fuzzy vibration of my phone, I answered the phone. My memory fails me, and I cannot remember when the call was, 1530? 1540? I am not sure, but I received it before our 1600 formation. As I answered the phone, I told Fleureus, “I’ll be right back.” I stepped outside in the SSA yard, where they stored all their supplies.
 My brother called to inform me that our dog had diabetes and his liver has completely failed. It sucks knowing that he may have had it for a while. While I was gone from home, our dog use to be a plump little guy, but last I came back home which was a couple weeks ago he was a small dude. I’ve read that if a dog randomly starts dropping weight and becoming too thirsty for water, those are warning signs of diabetes for dogs. How ironic considered I decided to take leave in late June and around two weeks ago I saw Paco for the last time. I hadn’t seen my family for nearly nine months. There would have been a 2,000-dollar treatment option but even it had a slim to none chance to save our dog. I was willing to spend my money to save our dog, Paco. As I heard the deafening noise of my brother cry, I couldn’t help but break down in tears. As I felt the salty tears of mine on my face. I just couldn’t stop thinking about how this is just completely crazy. I’ve had a pretty awful time during the year of 2018 and all this did was add more fuel to it. I have had so many emotions ranging from angry to straight up feeling depressed at the moment. Basically, he had to be euthanized. I was very upset and when my brother hung up. I immediately checked the time; it was just past 1600.
 I’ve missed the safety brief essentially. I didn’t care, I immediately went to the nearby latrines (bathrooms) and just sat in a stall crying. I sent a text to my Platoon Sergeant, SSG Doran, I cannot remember if he was an SSG or a SFC, forgot when he got promoted. I knew that guy, since mid-2016 in Korea. He was also my Platoon Sergeant at that time, he’s a good guy, pretty stern and strict. Anyways, I told him “I cannot make the safety brief something happened.” Once it was past 1630, I left to go to my car. Everyone had left, except me. As I walked to my car, with tears just welling up as I got to my car. My brother sent me a text of pictures of Paco before he got put to sleep. I teared up at the site of him looking sad and this would be the last I would ever see of him. I took out my pack of cigarettes and lit one up and tasted the sweet, cancer causing smokiness of a cigarette. As I took a drag of a cigarette, I tasted nothing but dreariness and the bitter turpentine taste of tobacco. I watched as the ghostly wisps of the cigarette smoke shifted out my car.