Friday Night Request: Drunkshot Pony Cuddles

>the arrhythmic pitter patter drum solo against your house roof is interrupted by knocking at your door
>damn, you were enjoying that, the wind had brought in a distinctly Mike Mangini flair after the slightly erratic Aquiles Priester introduction
>why did they have to use tin on your roof?
>and who in the blazes would be going all the way out here in this weather?
>you open the door, and are struck by a good waft of petrichor
“I want to come in!”
“Rainbow Dash?  Sure, come in, but what are you even doing out when there’s a storm?”
>she shrugs with her withers, and then with her wings
>you now want wings just because you could shrug twice
“Thanks, yeah, we started a doozy out there.  It’s gonna last a while, and I got caught up in the tail end of a cold front.  I would’ve had to chase my house around for a while, but then I saw your place.  I hope I’m not interrupting anything important,”
>she glances in past you, past the door mat, dripping on your carpet
>the TV isn’t even on
“Well not at the moment,”
“Gees, what’s with your house?  It’s like you host paint drying competitions daily in here,”
>wow thanks Dash
“I’ll go fetch a towel before we have to watch carpets dry.  You sound like you know a lot about wet carpets, like munching on them, maybe you can give me some tips,”
>you walk to the washroom as she scoffs
“Again with the gay jokes!  Every time, I swear to Celestia, if I wasn-
“A walking pride parade?”
“Buck you, man,”
“I’m not a woman, I thought we went over this,”
>you’re almost in stitches at this point
>by the flushed look on Rainbow’s face, she’s about to smack you hard enough to require some
“Okay, okay, I’m done.  I gotta say it is pretty dull around here, I just don’t have much bits these days,” you say, walking back with a big fluffy towel
“I hear ya.  That’s why me, the Dash, came to save you from dying of boredom,”
>she says this as if she’s single-hoofedly saved the entire planet from complete obliteration
“Oh really?”
>hold on
“If you weren’t planning on coming here, why did you have something ready for the evening?
“Uhhh…  Well…  No!  I uhh…  Always leave the house prepared.  Yep, you know me, I’m always prepared for everything,”
>right
>mare was still going on about Daring Doo
>she nods, and grabs her saddlebag with her teeth, putting it on the floor in front of you
>further spreading the rain’s assault on your abode
>if you get mold you’re so making her pay for it
“First, how about you stop dousing my place down?  Here, let me get that for you,”
>you get on a knee, towel in your hands like a pillow over a geriatric that refuses to kick the bucket and has you in the inheritance
>Rainbow is taken aback, looking alarmed
“Wha-
>you ignore her tepid attitude and smother her face
“Wrmmhmoohf!”
>her wings were about to spring up, but you wrap the towel over them as Rainbow’s little hooves frantically wave about
“Oh shush, I’m not gonna waterboard you, ya goddamned scaredy cat horse,”
>she hoofs you in the shin
>that one was probably on purpose
>you retort, as your toweling intensifies
>she seems to calm down as you start kneading her mane over, passing your toweled hands through them
>good, now you don’t have to fight her just to keep your apartment dry
>you sit cross legged and rub her head, going behind the ears and under her chin
>when you get the towel off her face to get it into her mane and around her neck some more, you’re rewarded by the fuzziest possible version of Rainbow Dash you’ve ever seen
>it’s like her picture as a filly, but a whole lot worse
>so fluffy
>you wish you had a camera
>oh the wonders of blackmail
>she looks terribly embarrassed by this, but is trying to look cool, and unaffected
>you can’t resist doing your best to make her even more ridiculously rumpled
>you rub her neck down, straining the base of her mane, ruffling it after each stroke
“You know, for a pony that acts tough, you sure look all kinds of-
“Not one word, Anon,”
“…”
“Not.  One.  Word.”
>she suddenly does not look so fluffy
>she stares lightning bolts, with laser beams shooting out of them, each laser beam tipped with chainsaws
>however she didn’t tell you to stop
>you grit your teeth, using all your might to resist the urge to say the word “fluffy” or “adorable” or “holy shit Rainbow you look ridiculous right now,”
>you are fond of your teeth, and are keen to keep them in their current locations
>you scrub her back, scratching down her spine to get all the moisture out
>Rainbow twitches a little
>you suddenly remember that your cat used to twitch a bit like this when you scratched the top of its spine
>you keep toweling her, patting her chest and stomach down, scrubbing her legs and hooves, and passing her tail through
>before long, Dash is barely damp
>good enough
>she’s been quiet for this process, which is a little strange
>you notice a slightly airy look on her face, like she zoned out
>she’s got a bit of a blush going, and her unfocused eyes are half closed
“Uhhh, Dash?”
“Hunh whah?  Oh, yeah, right.  What were you talking about?”
>you raise an eyebrow
“I wasn’t,”
>her eyes shift side to side
“I knew that,”
>there’s an awkward pause that ends with you throwing the towel in her face
“Hey!  What’s with you and shoving things in my face today?”
>you know you can make some sort of joke here, but you can’t seem to find it in time
“Aaaanyway, what I was saying before you started suffocating me with cloth, was that I brought this stuff!”
>she opens up her saddlebag, and dumps the contents on the floor
>movies and assorted junk food spill forth
>some of the chip bags are open, further increasing the mess
>you slap your palm to your face
“You’re paying for the carpet steaming,”
“Anon, I go out of my way to save you from like a gallon of boring, and you keep going on about your carpet.  Maybe I’ll just take all this to Fluttersh-  Wait!  I wanted to choose the first movie,”
>you rummage through her stash without paying attention to her protests, snatching a few stray chips here and there
>hmmm
>action, action adventure, horror, action horror, action action
>oh ho, what’s this?
>you haven’t seen this one yet
>you pull it out of the pile, holding it at eye level
“So Dash, being the prepared pony that you are, always carry around a bunch of movies and snacks, including…  “The Quiet Equestria”?”
“Duh, what if there was a sudden storm and then you had to go kill time until the wind let up?  I told you, I’m prepared for everything,”
“…  Touché,”
“And we’re not watching that,”
>now you’re interested
>a sly smile creeps onto your face
“What else do you have in mind?”
“We’re starting with Tokyo Gore Pony, and
>while she was flipping through her pile, you just walked over to your TV and plopped the tape in
“Anon, you asshole!”
“My house, my rules.  Aren’t you supposed to be all prepared for anything?  Now shut up and bring those funions over here, I ran out like a week ago and I’ve been having this mean craving like you wouldn’t believe,”
>she huffs and makes a big, dramatic  “ugh fiiiiiiiiiiiiine” scene
>Rainbow had too much fun with that
>you scoot over and fast-forward through the EBI copyright warning as Dash plops down next to you
“Gee Anon, small enough furniture for ya?”
“Gee Dash, made of money are ya?”
>she hands you funions with a shit-eating grin
>you both sigh with relaxed contentment, sitting back as the movie begins
>the main character is introduced, and the movie starts its slower paced introduction
>Dash seems to be shifting uncomfortably next to you, rolling her shoulders and shifting her wings
>this movie doesn’t fit the Dash genre too much, but it isn’t bad so far
>Rainbow keeps shifting like she’s sitting on an ant hill
“What’s up?  Is my couch that bad?
“Nah, I’m just all sore from today, setting up a storm like this is a total pain in the neck,”
[spoiler]this is where the 15 year old Glenfiddich hit me, so hold on to your butts[/spoiler]
>you snake in like a misty shadow, pervasively infiltrating her personal bubble from behind
>Rainbow had no idea you were now looking at her more than the movie
>you wonder what her reaction would be
>would she squeal?  Or scream?  Or screech?
>only one way to find out
>you time it pretty well, waiting for the tense spot in the movie where the main pony ingests a lot of sleeping pills
>when Dash leans in, you pounce, laying your hands on her withers
>you feel her jump in surprise, and you start kneading before she has the chance to yelp out
>you work your fingers like dark machinations of the Adeptus Massagitus, seeking out tense muscles and rubbing them in small, circular movements
>she breates out
>you push your thumbs along her wing joints, slowly working on them and the muscles surrounding them
>she seems to transition from solid to liquid state, melting on your lap
>you didn’t know ponies had a liquid transition temperature of “suicide scene in movies”
>perhaps this could be exploited for pony storage late on
>no matter, you continue massaging her shoulders, moving to her wings as Rainbow starts to breathe a bit harder
>massages can be a little painful, so Dash is pretty much just holding it together well
>man, this movie is pretty deep
>you absent-mindedly rub her wing joints, the movements becoming habitual instead of the targeted “let’s get rid of those knots”
 >Dash, on the other hand, is as determined to act like a goopy mess of warm molasses as she goes through states of limpness, each one more impressive than the last
>you think her bones will melt into jello soon
>AHA
>GET IT
>LIKE HORSE JELLO STUFF
>it then strikes you that Rainbow’s fur is unbearably soft
>it was just made all fluffy because of your towel drying, but they should have sent a poet
>because this shit is like, astronomically soft
>your kneading turns to petting as you admire her softness with your somatosensory system
>you remember how soft your old cat was
>but this was no cat softness
>this was like cat paws with cat ears attached to them
>because if you niggas have ever felt cat ears and paws, you’ll know that them be soft shit
>you start petting her shoulders down, pretty much getting the fluffy out of the area
>it can’t stop there
>nyet, you need more soft fluffy to fondle
>you pet her head down, running your fingers between her ears on her little head, under her neck, on her cheeks
>oh sweet babby jesus her cheek fur is fucking deadly soft
>you start scratching under her chin and neck
>Dash has now completely liquefied against you
>if you think water was gonna get out of the carpet, you haven’t met a liquid Rainbow
>shit they made that stuff in Canterlot, it must stain like a motherfucker
>there are more important matters at hand though
>like the ones in your hands
>or more precisely, between your fingers
>they’ve made their way to Rainbow’s ears
>your fingers have a mind of their own, seeking out certain areas and scratching them
>or rubbing
>even…  Even [spoiler]touching[/spoiler] them
>you cup her jaw with your left as you scratch the top of her head, you left hand slowly rubbing her neck in smooth motions
>every so often, your right focuses on one ear
>or the other
>you are actually watching the movie, but your body is going through an old routine
>you remember the old, fat fucking orange cat you had
>fucker was like a 25lbs sphere, and would just die on your lap while you went to town on it during whatever was playing on TV at the time
>nigga could spend fucking hours there, and would get mad when you told it to fuck off when you needed to pee
>so as the tradition went, this one was no different
>you sat in the couch, with Rainbow just splattered on your lap, and proceeded to let your fingers do what they wanted to do
>in short
>seek out areas of softness, then proceed to pet, and scratch at them
>as you worked your way down, you met the general thoracic area
>this one was always a little tricky
>all this surface, but the spots of interest were actually a little hard to find
>nothing wrong with running your hands all over her chest, because fluffy chests > not fluffy chests
>but the actual special spots were tricky
>directly on top of the spine, and the belly were definite successes
>you go for those first
>with your left hand’s fingers in a stalling formation on her chest, you scratch down her spine over her withers to check for responses
>you get a twitch when your fingernails encounter the spot between her shoulder blades
>or whatever that spot was with all the wings and shit
>target_acquired.ciws
>you scratch at it with a bit of vigor, and are rewarded with many a twitches and light moans
>her breathing was steady until you got to her lower back
>shit got real then
>niggas she was all like “oh shit right there”
>you pull her limp body against yours, taking up more of the couch as you lay down in it, holding the near-comatose horse on your chest
>you a big fuggen spoon now
>you move your left hand to her stomach, as your right continues to work on her spine
>the two-sided attack makes her lower left leg go a little twitch-like
>you make a mental note to watch the movie again later, because it’s quite interesting
>but right now there are more pressing matters at hand
>like the one between your right, as it’s weaponized softness
>you seek out the spot between her shoulder blades to see if you can reliably trigger her leg twitches
>yep
>three scratches to the twitch
>you rub her stomach with your left, slowly, getting a nice relaxing rhythm, while looking for the next location to assault
>right where the lower leg meets the abdomen is a good spot
>with both hands scratching near the stomach, you can feel every movement from Dash
>her breathing is steady, but shallow
>her eyes aren’t even open
>well she’s missing out on the movie as much as you are
>who gives a shit though
>she’s softer than fuck
>you work your way back up, feeling her warmth against your chest as she breathes in an out
>you scratch her neck and belly at the same time, feeling her lower left leg twitch
>you softly pet her cheeks while she pretty much straight out purrs
>wait
>if she’s a bit like a cat
>you just wonder
>that one spot
>you hold Rainbow Dash against you, slowly petting her stomach with your left hand, while your right hand wanders down her spine
>to the one area
>because there are no brakes on the soft pony cuddling train, you go for it
>right above her tail
>the ultimate weapon
>you stroke it slowly, getting a small response
>you can’t resist
>the warm, limp, breathing body against you just breaks down all your inhibitions
>you start scratching the spot where her spine meets her tail
>Rainbow’s muscles tense up, and you hear her moaning softly
>she starts twitching as you scratch the base of her spine harder and harder
>you’re pretty sure she’s drooling all over your shirt, but it’s fluffy, adorable drool
>there’s no going back now
>Dash twitches madly, giving out small yelps as you scratch the base of her tail, under her chin, the base of her ears, her stomach, down her spine, and all the spots in between with reckless abandon
>if this was the finishing move, you just updownupdownleftrightleftrightabstart’d this horse
>with the faint blue light coming from the solar system ending physics in the movie, you could see a universe ending bliss off fluffy proportions as Rainbow Dash’s eyes rolled back into her skull
>then you noticed that her vagina was spurting squash soup all over your fucking pants and couch
>what the fuck
>oh well, you needed to do laundry anyway

today was a [spoiler]household chores[/spoiler] kind of day