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- >BE A FUCKING VIKING
- >Okay seriously stop yelling
- >That hang-over is worse than when you got trampled by a horse.
- >Wait, wasn’t that just last night?
- >You open your eyes and sit up.
- >Massive horsepile
- >It’s almost as epic as the feasts before going raiding.
- >You rise, ponies rolling off of your chest like water off the bow of a longship.
- >Ponies trapping your legs
- >Ponies on your head
- >Errybody’s fucked up
- >Except…
- >Your eyes lock on a yellow Earth Pony with a familiar cutie mark.
- >Her eyes lock with yours.
- >You know what you must do.
- >It’s time to go on a fucking raid.
- >Horses fly off of you like surf breaking against the cliff
- “Warrior! What is your name!”
- >The pony leaps upon the table, meeting your eyes
- >”I AM MJOLNA THUNDERSMITH!”
- >Her voice booms with pride, causing ponies across the hall to groan
- “I AM URST ANONYMOUSSON!”
- >You grab your axe from the table
- “WE HAVE FEASTED! NOW, LET US GO FORTH AND DO GLORIOUS BATTLE!”
- >Mjolna screams in agreement, and together you explode into the streets of Ponyville.
- >Only problem was, where could you raid?
- >You pause, and try to figure out which way to go.
- >You look down at Mjolna
- >She shrugs
- >”Well, that was rather short-lived…”
- >Applebro trots up, smiling
- >”Ah can help ya there, though.”
- >”DO YOU KNOW WHERE WE CAN FIND BATTLE?”
- >”That Ah do! Ther’s a rodeo tomorrow. If’n yer thinkin’ ya tough enough, ya can try yer hooves at it.”
- “THANK YOU, APPLEJACK. WE SHALL COMPETE IN THIS GAME, AND WIN OUR PEOPLE FAME!”
- >You turn to your new comrade
- “COME, RAID-SISTER. WE MUST PREPARE.”
- >With a battle-cry, Mjolna and you run off to make ready for the eve of the Rodeo.
- >You spend the rest of the day training with Mjolna
- >You only have a basic idea of what a Rodeo is, so you decide to train by drinking Apple Cider and wrestling.
- >Good news is, you’ve only lost two teeth!
- >Mjolna’s drinking away a headache from when you slammed her into the ground.
- >Your axe is sitting up against a tree
- >Your wolf pelt is drapped over a branch.
- >Your head is currently trapped between two branches.
- “MJOLNA, GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!”
- >Her boisterous laughter does little to aid your frustration.
- >”HOW YOU EVEN MANAGED TO GET UP THERE, I WISH I KNEW.”
- >You kick the tree with all of your fury
- “RELEASE!
- ”MY!
- ”HEEEEAAAAAAD!”
- >With a thunderous kick, you hear a crack, and suddenly find yourself lying on your back, looking up at Fluttershy.
- >”Ooops, sorry Anon. I didn’t know you would kick like that.”
- “WHY ARE YOU HIDING IN THAT TREE, FLUTTERSHY?”
- >FLuttershy recoils from your thundering voice, and doesn’t bother replying.
- >”They’ll never understand…”
- >She floats off as you rub your sore head, Mjolna renewing her fit of laughter
- >That’s it.
- >You spin around and lay into her with the fury of a thousand Einherjar.
- >Shit’s on now.
- >You’re covered in bruises, you’re tired and drunk, and best of all, you’re watching the night sky in warm weather.
- >No more frigid winters where you fight for scraps
- >This place is warmer than Britain, and you thought that was a place of summer and sunshine.
- >It felt good to finally have some real peace.
- >Yep.
- >”Mjolna?”
- >You look over at the small pony lying on her side.
- >”Mmwha?”
- “How cold does it get around here?”
- >Your new friend and Raid-Sister looks up at you
- >”Well, not much colder. We’re towards the end of Fall. Won’t be much longer until we usher in Winter.”
- >Well, no place was perfect…
- >If it was almost winter, and this felt positively balmy, you wondered just how cold it would get.
- >”Alright then, my friend. I must return to my home, I shall see you at the Rodeo.”
- >You wave to her, and lean back against the tree.
- >Time to get some shut eye.
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