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>BE A FUCKING VIKING >Okay seriously stop yelling >That hang-over is worse than when you got trampled by a horse. >Wait, wasn’t that just last night? >You open your eyes and sit up. >Massive horsepile >It’s almost as epic as the feasts before going raiding. >You rise, ponies rolling off of your chest like water off the bow of a longship. >Ponies trapping your legs >Ponies on your head >Errybody’s fucked up >Except… >Your eyes lock on a yellow Earth Pony with a familiar cutie mark. >Her eyes lock with yours. >You know what you must do. >It’s time to go on a fucking raid. >Horses fly off of you like surf breaking against the cliff “Warrior! What is your name!” >The pony leaps upon the table, meeting your eyes >”I AM MJOLNA THUNDERSMITH!” >Her voice booms with pride, causing ponies across the hall to groan “I AM URST ANONYMOUSSON!” >You grab your axe from the table “WE HAVE FEASTED! NOW, LET US GO FORTH AND DO GLORIOUS BATTLE!” >Mjolna screams in agreement, and together you explode into the streets of Ponyville. >Only problem was, where could you raid? >You pause, and try to figure out which way to go. >You look down at Mjolna >She shrugs >”Well, that was rather short-lived…” >Applebro trots up, smiling >”Ah can help ya there, though.” >”DO YOU KNOW WHERE WE CAN FIND BATTLE?” >”That Ah do! Ther’s a rodeo tomorrow. If’n yer thinkin’ ya tough enough, ya can try yer hooves at it.” “THANK YOU, APPLEJACK. WE SHALL COMPETE IN THIS GAME, AND WIN OUR PEOPLE FAME!” >You turn to your new comrade “COME, RAID-SISTER. WE MUST PREPARE.” >With a battle-cry, Mjolna and you run off to make ready for the eve of the Rodeo. >You spend the rest of the day training with Mjolna >You only have a basic idea of what a Rodeo is, so you decide to train by drinking Apple Cider and wrestling. >Good news is, you’ve only lost two teeth! >Mjolna’s drinking away a headache from when you slammed her into the ground. >Your axe is sitting up against a tree >Your wolf pelt is drapped over a branch. >Your head is currently trapped between two branches. “MJOLNA, GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!” >Her boisterous laughter does little to aid your frustration. >”HOW YOU EVEN MANAGED TO GET UP THERE, I WISH I KNEW.” >You kick the tree with all of your fury “RELEASE! ”MY! ”HEEEEAAAAAAD!” >With a thunderous kick, you hear a crack, and suddenly find yourself lying on your back, looking up at Fluttershy. >”Ooops, sorry Anon. I didn’t know you would kick like that.” “WHY ARE YOU HIDING IN THAT TREE, FLUTTERSHY?” >FLuttershy recoils from your thundering voice, and doesn’t bother replying. >”They’ll never understand…” >She floats off as you rub your sore head, Mjolna renewing her fit of laughter >That’s it. >You spin around and lay into her with the fury of a thousand Einherjar. >Shit’s on now. >You’re covered in bruises, you’re tired and drunk, and best of all, you’re watching the night sky in warm weather. >No more frigid winters where you fight for scraps >This place is warmer than Britain, and you thought that was a place of summer and sunshine. >It felt good to finally have some real peace. >Yep. >”Mjolna?” >You look over at the small pony lying on her side. >”Mmwha?” “How cold does it get around here?” >Your new friend and Raid-Sister looks up at you >”Well, not much colder. We’re towards the end of Fall. Won’t be much longer until we usher in Winter.” >Well, no place was perfect… >If it was almost winter, and this felt positively balmy, you wondered just how cold it would get. >”Alright then, my friend. I must return to my home, I shall see you at the Rodeo.” >You wave to her, and lean back against the tree. >Time to get some shut eye.
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