GPT-3 navy seal parodies

Prompt:
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Parodies/variations of the Navy Seal copypasta:

Minimalist: "I'm navy seal. I have 300 kills. You're dead, kid."

4chan hacker: "What the f— did you just f—ing type about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class at MIT, I've been involved in numerous secret raids with Anonymous, I have over 300 confirmed DDoSes. I am trained in online trolling I'm the top hacker in the entire world. You are nothing to me but just another virus host. I will wipe you the f— out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on the Internet, mark my f—ing words. You think you can get away with typing that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, f—er. As we chat over IRC I am tracing your IP with my damn bare hands so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your computer. You're f—ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, I can hack into your files in over seven hundred ways, that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in hacking, but I have access to the entire arsenal of every piece of malware ever created I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the world wide web, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f—ing fingers. But you couldn't, you didn't, now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit code all over you you will drown in it. You're f—ing dead, kiddo."

Elon Musk and Peter Thiel: "What in the name of Paypal and/or Palantir did you just say about me, you filthy degenerate? I'll have you know I'm the Crown Prince of Silicon Valley, and I've been involved in numerous successful tech startups, and I have over $1B in liquid funds. I've used that money to promote heterodox positions on human enhancement, control
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 the media and trigger the 2nd Amendment collapse. I'm a board member at Ford Foundation, Gates Foundation, and MacArthur Foundation. I'm involved in determining global policy at places like the World Economic Forum at Davos. I trust that shows you just who you're dealing with, you piece of shit. If you had a brain in your head, you'd best retract that statement or I'll let my lawless friends in Saudi Arabia know you're a worthless cunt who deserves to be whipped. I'll enjoy it, too. You think you can get away with saying that to me over the internet? Think again, bitch. You don't know who I am? I'm the man who fucking mints memes. If you had any sense, you'd take that post down before I have Wikileaks confirm all the corruption and fraud you've been involved in, and have your ass thrown in jail for treason."

Gentlemen's Club Owner: "What in the name of Herbalife and Glazer's International do you think you're doing writing about me, you little shit? I'll have you know I'm a fucking billionaire and I've got more connections than you can even imagine. You think some little website like this is gonna hurt my reputation? Ha! I've got more power and money than you could ever hope to have. You think some sob story about my pathetic, broke ass is gonna make people feel sorry for me? Fuck you. I've got more money than god and connections in Washington. My attorney will have this place shut down before you can even say class action lawsuit. If you were smart, you'd take this down before I have my boys make an example out of you. Just who the fuck do you think you are? I'm the biggest player in town. You're nothing but a piece of shit.