Matchmaker (originally by Sacrifice)

Serket exhaled in nervous frustration. The dim light from her laptop screen and the shine from the LED clock that read ‘02:01’ were all that illuminated her uncertain frown, and the memory stick she held in her paw. Held within contained… well, she didn’t know exactly what, but she’d been promised the solution to her problem. The anubis sighed again.

Like all monstergirls, Serket wanted a man. Unlike most monstergirls, she’d made it through her teens and almost past her twenties without so much as a whiff of one. After yet another evening spent complaining to her friends, all of whom had had husbands for years now, one of them had arranged to meet Serket alone to give her this, with a promise that it would solve her life’s trouble. Just a memory stick.

The thin, brownish-gold thing looked positively threatening to Serket for what might lie inside.

Mustering her courage, Serket inserted the memory stick. Antivirus software at the ready, she opened it to view its files.

It only contained one. It looked like a video. She took a deep breath and opened it.

The screen went black for a brief moment, and Serket’s heart skipped a beat in anticipation. What might she have just given access to her computer? That laptop was her most prized possession, containing all her study work, her photographs and memories, as well as her more… private files. A bead of sweat rolled down her brow, and she made to remove the thing, but her paw was stopped when the black screen was suddenly replaced with a bright pink image. A giant love heart - inside, the words ‘The Matchmaker’. Serket’s eyes went wide, and she hurriedly paused the video.

The Matchmaker. She’d thought it nothing more than a childish internet rumour - a series of mysterious home-made videos, made by an anonymous mamono who had made it her life’s work to… Serket didn’t know what exactly, but she knew that it was supposed to feature mamono who were single at the start of the video and not so at the end. She supposed she was about to find out. Her paw shaking in trepidation, Serket pressed ‘Play’.

The pink love-heart logo remained on the screen for a few seconds more, accompanied by a deep and licentious saxophone tune. The introductory scene soon faded, to be replaced with grainy video footage. It looked like a manticore standing in front of a door, dressed in only a bra and panties and with a nervous-looking grin on her face. A low, sensual female voice spoke from behind the camera.

“Good evening, you horny things, and welcome to the latest episode of ‘The Matchmaker’, the #1 mamono dating show!”

Serket could hardly believe her eyes. It was real. Which meant…

“I’m your host,” said the voice, “and joining me tonight is this week’s lucky applicant! Why don’t you introduce yourself, honey?”

The manticore smiled and replied to the unseen camera-mamono. “H-hi. I’m Nimyla, I’m twenty-three, and I’m super excited to finally get to be on The Matchmaker! I can’t wait to meet the man you’ve picked for me!”

“Aww, well, don’t you worry about that, sweetie. You and your husband-to-be will have plenty of time to get to know each other soon, and it’s my pleasure to bring you together. As you and all our longtime fans will know, all I ask is that you let us all watch~!”

The manticore nodded enthusiastically, and the matchmaker chuckled in appreciation. “Well, before we begin, there’s just a few things we need to take care of. As you all know, this show is for singles only. You’re single, aren’t you sweetie?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“And you’re a virgin?”

“That’s right.”

“Mind showing us?”

“Of course.” said the manticore, bending down to remove her panties. The camera moved in, towards the manticore’s crotch, and she spread her labia with her fingers to reveal a clearly visible, pale-pink hymen.

“Get a good look, everyone, that thing won’t be around for much longer.” said the matchmaker. “Thank you, sweetie. Now take your bra off.”

“O-okay…” said the manticore, fiddling with the clasp for a second before removing it, leaving herself naked. She covered herself with her paws.

“Aww, don’t be shy, babe. You can show us.”

Slowly, nervously, the manticore removed her hands from her breasts and kept them down by her sides. The matchmaker purred in approval.

“Mmm, you’ve got a great body, sweetie. You sure you need to be on this show?”

“W-well, I… um, I’ve just not been able to…”

“Ssh, it’s alright. That’s why I’m here, to give girls that need it a helping hand. Show us your ass.”
The manticore turned around, lifting her muscular tail out of the way of her round, soft-looking buttocks. She looked over her shoulder and grinned.

“Oh, very nice.” said the matchmaker. “Spread yourself a bit for me, sweetie.”

Taking one buttock in each paw, the manticore did so, revealing a small, pink asshole. The camera lingered on it a bit before zooming out.

“Well, your new hubby is going to be thanking me a whole bunch after this is over, I guarantee it. Are you ready to meet him, sweetie?”

“Yes please.” said the manticore, her face flushed.

“Well then without further ado, let’s go and see him!”

The camera shook as the operator stood up, the manticore standing to the side while the door she was in front of opened. Behind the door was a small, dark room, lit only by a single bare lightbulb that dangled from the ceiling. The room was sparse, its only fixture being the worn-looking double bed in the centre, with dirty grey sheets and a young-looking man tied to the four bedposts by his extremities. He was naked, and his skin was pale and bruised in places. He looked up at the camera as it approached, revealing a red ball-gag in his mouth - his eyes widened, and he made a distressed moaning noise. The matchmaker chuckled.

“Well, sweetie, as promised, here’s the man I picked out for you. My associates and I looked over your profile extensively, and our search algorithms chose him as the most suitable candidate for what you were after. Do you like him?”

“Wow, he’s super cute!” said the manticore, smiling at him from the doorway. She stepped inside, and the man flicked his eyes to her, moaning again and beginning to struggle. The restraints attached to his wrists and ankles held him fast. “What’s his name?” asked the manticore.

“His name is Anon Anonson,” said the matchmaker, and the footage switched to a still photo of the man’s driving license positioned on a table. “He’s also twenty-three, and he lived nice and far away from you! Getting him here was no picnic, let me tell ya, so I hope you like him!”

“Oh, yes! He’s perfect!” said the manticore, clapping her hands together with a beaming smile. The man struggled fruitlessly.

“Well, don’t be shy,” replied the matchmaker. “Go over and introduce yourself.”

The manticore stepped over to the bed, the camera following her as she languidly climbed atop him and leant down into his face. He turned away from her, shutting his eyes, but the manticore grabbed his face and forced him to look at the camera.

“Wow… he’s even better up close…” she sighed. “After all this time…”

“That’s what we like.” said the matchmaker with a laugh. “Why don’t you take the gag off so he can tell you how happy he is to finally meet you?”

She complied, reaching behind his head to unclasp the the gag. She took it away from his face and placed her paws on his shoulders, staring down at him.

“Well, babe?” asked the matchmaker. “Aren’t you happy to meet your bride?”

“Please…” whispered the man in a harsh croak. “I.. I want to go home…”

“Afraid not, honey. This lucky lady applied to the matchmaker, and I always deliver. Now tell us how happy you are to be here.”

The manticore tightened her claws on his shoulders. “Do as she says, darling…”

“No, s-stop! Aaaagh!” he cried, as the manticore’s claws dug deep into his skin.

“Ah well, looks like he’s playing hard to get. That’ll disappear soon, won’t it?”

The manticore grinned. “So happy to be here…” she whispered to him, moving to replace his gag.

“No! Please, I have a family, I-mmph!” he cried.

“Shhh…” soothed the manticore. “It’s okay. I’m your family now. We’re in love.”

The matchmaker laughed from behind the camera. “Wow, she’s a natural, isn’t she, folks? This’ll be a fucking good episode, I can already tell.”

“So now can I…?” asked the manticore, looking at the camera lens.

“Go right ahead. I hope you’ll put on a good show for us.” The camera zoomed out again, showing both of their bodies. The manticore’s tail twitched as it approached the man’s cock.

“Ah-ah-ah! One second!” said the matchmaker, zooming in on her tail. “Get him right there in the thigh, I want a good shot of this.”

Like a hunting shark, her tailpussy crept towards the man’s leg. The spines on the outer shell snapped into position, radiating outwards like spikes on a morning-star.

“That’s it…” whispered the matchmaker, holding the camera steady as the manticore’s tailpussy travelled up his legs to rest just in front of his cock. Then, just as slowly, it began to pull backwards, the spines scraping his skin as it travelled downwards, eliciting a moan from off-screen.

“Oh, that’s perfect…” whispered the matchmaker again, as one of the spines finally dug into his flesh. It tugged a little on her tail before detaching, remaining stuck in his leg as the manticore pulled her tail away. A tiny trail of blood dribbled from the incision. The man’s cries began to intensify, and the camera zoomed out to catch his reaction. He struggled even harder against his bonds, shaking his head and making muffled protests.

In response, the manticore moved her hand to the spine and began to rotate it in a small circle, working every drop of the powerful venom into his body. The man’s groans and struggles grew weaker, his envenomed leg twitching twice before going slack, the rest of his body soon following as his eyes rolled back in his head and a long moan escaped his gagged mouth.

“I think he likes it.” laughed the matchmaker, panning the camera down to his crotch, where his cock had become fiercely erect. “Give him what he wants.”

The manticore nodded, moving her tailpussy back up towards his dick, which began to twitch and throb as the tailpussy neared it.

“Wow. He really wants it.” chuckled the matchmaker in approval. The manticore kept her attention on her prey.

“Don’t be afraid, darling… I promise I’ll be gentle…” she sighed, easing her tailpussy onto his cock. Both the manticore and the captured man let out a long, drawn-out moan as his cock slipped inside her, his legs bucking weakly against both the restraints and the effects of her venom.

“Damn, that’s good…” whispered the matchmaker, as her tail began to pump up and down on his cock. The man forced his eyes shut, his limbs still limply straining, as the manticore leant down over him and let out another long, breathy moan.

“You like it, sweetie?” asked the matchmaker. The manticore turned to look at the camera, a dreamy smile on her face.

“I… It’s so good…”

“What about you, cutie pie?” the matchmaker said, moving the camera up to the man’s face. He didn’t reply, staring at nothing, his head lolling from side to side. “You having fun?”

“Darling?” asked the manticore, as the camera panned back. The manticore’s tail suddenly contracted, squeezing down on its prey, and the man jerked upwards and let out an abrupt, muffled cry.

“I think we can take that as a yes.” said the matchmaker. The manticore smirked.

“Fuck, look at his face.” The man’s expression was slack, his eyes half-lidded, his head resting limply against the stained pillow. “I just love that look. The look of absolute bliss. That damn look is why I do this.”

“Mmmh… Anon… mhaah…” moaned the manticore, pumping his cock with deep, regular strokes of her tailpussy.

“You can cum if you want, sweetie.” said the matchmaker. “I think he’s getting ready to.”

The manticore reached behind his head again, unclasping the gag and throwing it to the side. The man let out a brief cry before the manticore quickly leant down, pressing her lips to his, moaning into his mouth as she began to thrust her whole body against his, pressing her paws to his cheeks. The man had stopped struggling completely now, only weakly bucking his hips at the onslaught of her tailpussy.

“Here it comes.” purred the matchmaker. “Don’t disappoint us, you two.” The manticore grinned up at the camera and winked, placing her paw over his mouth.

The camera panned down their bodies before coming to rest on the man’s crotch, her tailpussy vigorously pumping up and down on it.

“Mmh...haaah! Yes! Anon! Yes! Yes~!” moaned the manticore, her tailpussy giving two last pumps before engulfing the entire length of his cock inside it. He let out a muffled cry, jerking his hips upwards once, twice, and a final time before he collapsed against the mattress, the ragged breathing of both him and the manticore clearly audible.

“Wow, that looked fucking amazing.” said the matchmaker. “You know the rules, sweetie. Show us that money shot.”

The manticore slid her tailpussy slowly off the man’s cock, turning it to the camera. It bloomed like a fleshy pink flower, and a thick strand of white cum oozed out of it and dribbled onto the mattress.

“Oh, yes. That’s just perfect.” murmured the matchmaker appreciatively. “I’m real proud of you, sweetie. That might just be our best episode yet.”

“Thank you so much for this, matchmaker…” sighed the manticore in post-orgasmic bliss. “I’ve finally got my very own man…” Her tailpussy returned to his cock as the camera zoomed out, drawing out another muffled moan from the manticore’s husband.

“Well, I think I’ll leave these two lovebirds to it.” said the matchmaker. “How about a finishing pose from our stars?”

The manticore grinned, looking up at the camera and covering the man’s mouth with one paw while she put two clawed fingers up in a peace sign with the other. The man kept staring at the ceiling, his whimpering barely audible.

“Perfect.” said the voice behind the camera again. “Well, that’s all we’ve got time for on this episode of The Matchmaker, folks. Tune in again when I help another lucky mamono meet the man of her dreams.”

The footage gradually faded, to be replaced by another pink love-heart sign. Within it was a short paragraph.

“Are YOU unlucky in love? Do YOU crave that sweet spirit energy, and crave it NOW? Call this episode’s private number and give this episode’s password ‘Bass Battery’ to submit your application to appear on THE MATCHMAKER! Must consent to be filmed, £400 deposit, single virgin mamono only (you will be checked). 0378-243-287 BASS BATTERY”

The screen faded to black. Serket blinked once, twice, before shaking herself back to alertness.

It was real. The Matchmaker was real. Not only was it real, but they were actually taking clients.

Serket grabbed her phone and began dialing.
RAW Paste Data
Serket exhaled in nervous frustration. The dim light from her laptop screen and the shine from the LED clock that read ‘02:01’ were all that illuminated her uncertain frown, and the memory stick she held in her paw. Held within contained… well, she didn’t know exactly what, but she’d been promised the solution to her problem. The anubis sighed again.

Like all monstergirls, Serket wanted a man. Unlike most monstergirls, she’d made it through her teens and almost past her twenties without so much as a whiff of one. After yet another evening spent complaining to her friends, all of whom had had husbands for years now, one of them had arranged to meet Serket alone to give her this, with a promise that it would solve her life’s trouble. Just a memory stick.

The thin, brownish-gold thing looked positively threatening to Serket for what might lie inside.

Mustering her courage, Serket inserted the memory stick. Antivirus software at the ready, she opened it to view its files.

It only contained one. It looked like a video. She took a deep breath and opened it.

The screen went black for a brief moment, and Serket’s heart skipped a beat in anticipation. What might she have just given access to her computer? That laptop was her most prized possession, containing all her study work, her photographs and memories, as well as her more… private files. A bead of sweat rolled down her brow, and she made to remove the thing, but her paw was stopped when the black screen was suddenly replaced with a bright pink image. A giant love heart - inside, the words ‘The Matchmaker’. Serket’s eyes went wide, and she hurriedly paused the video.

The Matchmaker. She’d thought it nothing more than a childish internet rumour - a series of mysterious home-made videos, made by an anonymous mamono who had made it her life’s work to… Serket didn’t know what exactly, but she knew that it was supposed to feature mamono who were single at the start of the video and not so at the end. She supposed she was about to find out. Her paw shaking in trepidation, Serket pressed ‘Play’.

The pink love-heart logo remained on the screen for a few seconds more, accompanied by a deep and licentious saxophone tune. The introductory scene soon faded, to be replaced with grainy video footage. It looked like a manticore standing in front of a door, dressed in only a bra and panties and with a nervous-looking grin on her face. A low, sensual female voice spoke from behind the camera.

“Good evening, you horny things, and welcome to the latest episode of ‘The Matchmaker’, the #1 mamono dating show!”

Serket could hardly believe her eyes. It was real. Which meant…

“I’m your host,” said the voice, “and joining me tonight is this week’s lucky applicant! Why don’t you introduce yourself, honey?”

The manticore smiled and replied to the unseen camera-mamono. “H-hi. I’m Nimyla, I’m twenty-three, and I’m super excited to finally get to be on The Matchmaker! I can’t wait to meet the man you’ve picked for me!”

“Aww, well, don’t you worry about that, sweetie. You and your husband-to-be will have plenty of time to get to know each other soon, and it’s my pleasure to bring you together. As you and all our longtime fans will know, all I ask is that you let us all watch~!”

The manticore nodded enthusiastically, and the matchmaker chuckled in appreciation. “Well, before we begin, there’s just a few things we need to take care of. As you all know, this show is for singles only. You’re single, aren’t you sweetie?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“And you’re a virgin?”

“That’s right.”

“Mind showing us?”

“Of course.” said the manticore, bending down to remove her panties. The camera moved in, towards the manticore’s crotch, and she spread her labia with her fingers to reveal a clearly visible, pale-pink hymen.

“Get a good look, everyone, that thing won’t be around for much longer.” said the matchmaker. “Thank you, sweetie. Now take your bra off.”

“O-okay…” said the manticore, fiddling with the clasp for a second before removing it, leaving herself naked. She covered herself with her paws.

“Aww, don’t be shy, babe. You can show us.”

Slowly, nervously, the manticore removed her hands from her breasts and kept them down by her sides. The matchmaker purred in approval.

“Mmm, you’ve got a great body, sweetie. You sure you need to be on this show?”

“W-well, I… um, I’ve just not been able to…”

“Ssh, it’s alright. That’s why I’m here, to give girls that need it a helping hand. Show us your ass.”
The manticore turned around, lifting her muscular tail out of the way of her round, soft-looking buttocks. She looked over her shoulder and grinned.

“Oh, very nice.” said the matchmaker. “Spread yourself a bit for me, sweetie.”

Taking one buttock in each paw, the manticore did so, revealing a small, pink asshole. The camera lingered on it a bit before zooming out.

“Well, your new hubby is going to be thanking me a whole bunch after this is over, I guarantee it. Are you ready to meet him, sweetie?”

“Yes please.” said the manticore, her face flushed.

“Well then without further ado, let’s go and see him!”

The camera shook as the operator stood up, the manticore standing to the side while the door she was in front of opened. Behind the door was a small, dark room, lit only by a single bare lightbulb that dangled from the ceiling. The room was sparse, its only fixture being the worn-looking double bed in the centre, with dirty grey sheets and a young-looking man tied to the four bedposts by his extremities. He was naked, and his skin was pale and bruised in places. He looked up at the camera as it approached, revealing a red ball-gag in his mouth - his eyes widened, and he made a distressed moaning noise. The matchmaker chuckled.

“Well, sweetie, as promised, here’s the man I picked out for you. My associates and I looked over your profile extensively, and our search algorithms chose him as the most suitable candidate for what you were after. Do you like him?”

“Wow, he’s super cute!” said the manticore, smiling at him from the doorway. She stepped inside, and the man flicked his eyes to her, moaning again and beginning to struggle. The restraints attached to his wrists and ankles held him fast. “What’s his name?” asked the manticore.

“His name is Anon Anonson,” said the matchmaker, and the footage switched to a still photo of the man’s driving license positioned on a table. “He’s also twenty-three, and he lived nice and far away from you! Getting him here was no picnic, let me tell ya, so I hope you like him!”

“Oh, yes! He’s perfect!” said the manticore, clapping her hands together with a beaming smile. The man struggled fruitlessly.

“Well, don’t be shy,” replied the matchmaker. “Go over and introduce yourself.”

The manticore stepped over to the bed, the camera following her as she languidly climbed atop him and leant down into his face. He turned away from her, shutting his eyes, but the manticore grabbed his face and forced him to look at the camera.

“Wow… he’s even better up close…” she sighed. “After all this time…”

“That’s what we like.” said the matchmaker with a laugh. “Why don’t you take the gag off so he can tell you how happy he is to finally meet you?”

She complied, reaching behind his head to unclasp the the gag. She took it away from his face and placed her paws on his shoulders, staring down at him.

“Well, babe?” asked the matchmaker. “Aren’t you happy to meet your bride?”

“Please…” whispered the man in a harsh croak. “I.. I want to go home…”

“Afraid not, honey. This lucky lady applied to the matchmaker, and I always deliver. Now tell us how happy you are to be here.”

The manticore tightened her claws on his shoulders. “Do as she says, darling…”

“No, s-stop! Aaaagh!” he cried, as the manticore’s claws dug deep into his skin.

“Ah well, looks like he’s playing hard to get. That’ll disappear soon, won’t it?”

The manticore grinned. “So happy to be here…” she whispered to him, moving to replace his gag.

“No! Please, I have a family, I-mmph!” he cried.

“Shhh…” soothed the manticore. “It’s okay. I’m your family now. We’re in love.”

The matchmaker laughed from behind the camera. “Wow, she’s a natural, isn’t she, folks? This’ll be a fucking good episode, I can already tell.”

“So now can I…?” asked the manticore, looking at the camera lens.

“Go right ahead. I hope you’ll put on a good show for us.” The camera zoomed out again, showing both of their bodies. The manticore’s tail twitched as it approached the man’s cock.

“Ah-ah-ah! One second!” said the matchmaker, zooming in on her tail. “Get him right there in the thigh, I want a good shot of this.”

Like a hunting shark, her tailpussy crept towards the man’s leg. The spines on the outer shell snapped into position, radiating outwards like spikes on a morning-star.

“That’s it…” whispered the matchmaker, holding the camera steady as the manticore’s tailpussy travelled up his legs to rest just in front of his cock. Then, just as slowly, it began to pull backwards, the spines scraping his skin as it travelled downwards, eliciting a moan from off-screen.

“Oh, that’s perfect…” whispered the matchmaker again, as one of the spines finally dug into his flesh. It tugged a little on her tail before detaching, remaining stuck in his leg as the manticore pulled her tail away. A tiny trail of blood dribbled from the incision. The man’s cries began to intensify, and the camera zoomed out to catch his reaction. He struggled even harder against his bonds, shaking his head and making muffled protests.

In response, the manticore moved her hand to the spine and began to rotate it in a small circle, working every drop of the powerful venom into his body. The man’s groans and struggles grew weaker, his envenomed leg twitching twice before going slack, the rest of his body soon following as his eyes rolled back in his head and a long moan escaped his gagged mouth.

“I think he likes it.” laughed the matchmaker, panning the camera down to his crotch, where his cock had become fiercely erect. “Give him what he wants.”

The manticore nodded, moving her tailpussy back up towards his dick, which began to twitch and throb as the tailpussy neared it.

“Wow. He really wants it.” chuckled the matchmaker in approval. The manticore kept her attention on her prey.

“Don’t be afraid, darling… I promise I’ll be gentle…” she sighed, easing her tailpussy onto his cock. Both the manticore and the captured man let out a long, drawn-out moan as his cock slipped inside her, his legs bucking weakly against both the restraints and the effects of her venom.

“Damn, that’s good…” whispered the matchmaker, as her tail began to pump up and down on his cock. The man forced his eyes shut, his limbs still limply straining, as the manticore leant down over him and let out another long, breathy moan.

“You like it, sweetie?” asked the matchmaker. The manticore turned to look at the camera, a dreamy smile on her face.

“I… It’s so good…”

“What about you, cutie pie?” the matchmaker said, moving the camera up to the man’s face. He didn’t reply, staring at nothing, his head lolling from side to side. “You having fun?”

“Darling?” asked the manticore, as the camera panned back. The manticore’s tail suddenly contracted, squeezing down on its prey, and the man jerked upwards and let out an abrupt, muffled cry.

“I think we can take that as a yes.” said the matchmaker. The manticore smirked.

“Fuck, look at his face.” The man’s expression was slack, his eyes half-lidded, his head resting limply against the stained pillow. “I just love that look. The look of absolute bliss. That damn look is why I do this.”

“Mmmh… Anon… mhaah…” moaned the manticore, pumping his cock with deep, regular strokes of her tailpussy.

“You can cum if you want, sweetie.” said the matchmaker. “I think he’s getting ready to.”

The manticore reached behind his head again, unclasping the gag and throwing it to the side. The man let out a brief cry before the manticore quickly leant down, pressing her lips to his, moaning into his mouth as she began to thrust her whole body against his, pressing her paws to his cheeks. The man had stopped struggling completely now, only weakly bucking his hips at the onslaught of her tailpussy.

“Here it comes.” purred the matchmaker. “Don’t disappoint us, you two.” The manticore grinned up at the camera and winked, placing her paw over his mouth.

The camera panned down their bodies before coming to rest on the man’s crotch, her tailpussy vigorously pumping up and down on it.

“Mmh...haaah! Yes! Anon! Yes! Yes~!” moaned the manticore, her tailpussy giving two last pumps before engulfing the entire length of his cock inside it. He let out a muffled cry, jerking his hips upwards once, twice, and a final time before he collapsed against the mattress, the ragged breathing of both him and the manticore clearly audible.

“Wow, that looked fucking amazing.” said the matchmaker. “You know the rules, sweetie. Show us that money shot.”

The manticore slid her tailpussy slowly off the man’s cock, turning it to the camera. It bloomed like a fleshy pink flower, and a thick strand of white cum oozed out of it and dribbled onto the mattress.

“Oh, yes. That’s just perfect.” murmured the matchmaker appreciatively. “I’m real proud of you, sweetie. That might just be our best episode yet.”

“Thank you so much for this, matchmaker…” sighed the manticore in post-orgasmic bliss. “I’ve finally got my very own man…” Her tailpussy returned to his cock as the camera zoomed out, drawing out another muffled moan from the manticore’s husband.

“Well, I think I’ll leave these two lovebirds to it.” said the matchmaker. “How about a finishing pose from our stars?”

The manticore grinned, looking up at the camera and covering the man’s mouth with one paw while she put two clawed fingers up in a peace sign with the other. The man kept staring at the ceiling, his whimpering barely audible.

“Perfect.” said the voice behind the camera again. “Well, that’s all we’ve got time for on this episode of The Matchmaker, folks. Tune in again when I help another lucky mamono meet the man of her dreams.”

The footage gradually faded, to be replaced by another pink love-heart sign. Within it was a short paragraph.

“Are YOU unlucky in love? Do YOU crave that sweet spirit energy, and crave it NOW? Call this episode’s private number and give this episode’s password ‘Bass Battery’ to submit your application to appear on THE MATCHMAKER! Must consent to be filmed, £400 deposit, single virgin mamono only (you will be checked). 0378-243-287 BASS BATTERY”

The screen faded to black. Serket blinked once, twice, before shaking herself back to alertness.

It was real. The Matchmaker was real. Not only was it real, but they were actually taking clients.

Serket grabbed her phone and began dialing.