Self Reflection

It can't be healthy to be awake for boundless hours, tired yet unable to sleep with obnoxiously high rest bpms that are so annoying you can feel your own heart beating when you're laying down at night..

And people wonder why I miss school, when I close my eyes for the night, I lie in bed for hours with nothing but my own thoughts and the horrid beats of my heart to both occupy me and keep me company.

Does this mean I'm depressed? I feel happy, I feel loved, I feel like my career is heading somewhere, and yet I can't sleep at night.

I have a sense of purpose. I'm somebody. And yet I feel boundless, like a small spot of light in the endless sea of the sun, insignificant in nature despite how diligent and focused I feel and act.

Something has to change. Every time I take a step back and look at a problem from a different, more grandiose perspective, I always see room for improvement, and in absence of that, room for change... Something needs to change, that I'm sure of, and yet I have no clue as to what it could possibly be.