A deaf child – not your right to choose

A deaf child – not your right to choose
10 March, 2008
I’ve been thinking all day about the deaf couple who want the right to “choose” a deaf baby – not least because I’ve listened to them interviewed on Radio 4 and Radio 2.

To summarise, Tomato Lichy and his partner already have one deaf child, and hope for another via IVF. New legislation would mean they could not choose an embryo which had deaf genes, if a “non-deaf” embryo was available.

They say the act suggests that deaf people are not equal to hearing people; Mr Lichy almost militantly insists that his deafness is not a disability.

As the mother of a deaf child, I am sympathetic to his viewpoint (I would HATE anyone to consider my son inferior) but I cannot agree with what Mr Lichy would choose.

When we were offered a cochlear implant for Lockie, one of our first reservations was that accepting it would almost be like telling him that he was not “good enough” as he was. But there is a simple fact here – one which Mr Lichy refuses to accept – deafness IS the loss of a primary sense, and in that respect it cannot BUT be a disability. Much as we were afraid to put our child through surgery, we felt it was our duty to give him every option – hearing or deaf – for the fullest possible life.

He is now a hearing, speaking child, one who sings and listens to music, but all those are immaterial next to the fact that we did our duty as parents and gave him as many choices and chances as we were able. If he chooses to go to a deaf school, or a mainstream one, sign or talk – those are his choices, and fine by us. But by choosing a deaf child within a fairly determinedly insularly deaf family, they are restricting that of their putative child.

I am loath to criticise them – especially given the hammering they have taken on the radio today already – but I suspect that the couple’s real resistance comes from fear; fear that they will not be able to communicate or bond with a hearing child as they have with their child who is “like them”.

I understand this view – having a deaf child in our hearing family took some adjusting to too, and a fair bit of actual work. But I would argue that what they propose is just as discriminatory and short-sighted as it would be in reverse. Embracing deaf or hearing culture enriches both sides. For this reason, and despite the fact that I have no doubt that they are loving, caring parents, I hope they fail.