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Strategist14

[Showstuck] Crazy Joe meets Ventus

Strategist14
Apr 14th, 2017
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  1. [10:51] * marianaJumper started pestering transhumanistShellfire
  2. [10:51] <marianaJumper> MJ: hey i don't know you and just hit the random button to get a convo going with someone>
  3. [10:52] <marianaJumper> MJ: sorry if i'm interrupting anything on your end>
  4. [10:52] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Hi!
  5. [10:52] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Nothing too important, I was only about to save the world from an alien invasion.
  6. [10:53] <marianaJumper> MJ: shit did we get to earth already?>
  7. [10:53] <marianaJumper> MJ: thought we weren't going anywhere near watery planets for a while?>
  8. [10:54] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: You would think, but it turns out that places without water aren't really good for invading. There's no water on them.
  9. [10:54] <marianaJumper> MJ: :0 >
  10. [10:54] <marianaJumper> MJ: you's right!>
  11. [10:55] <marianaJumper> MJ: ...wait you're a human aren't you? you didn't correct me when i said earth>
  12. [10:55] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: You see.
  13. [10:55] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: I am a Blorgon.
  14. [10:56] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: We come from a completely different planet that is also called Earth.
  15. [10:57] <marianaJumper> MJ: then how do you know humanity?>
  16. [10:57] <marianaJumper> MJ: and what am i?>
  17. [10:57] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Uh... penpals.
  18. [10:57] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: And you are obviously an alien from the Alpha Boo system.
  19. [10:58] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: How goes life under your red sun?
  20. [10:58] <marianaJumper> MJ: i am a violet blooded troll from the planet alternia>
  21. [10:59] <marianaJumper> MJ: i am in the military>
  22. [10:59] <marianaJumper> MJ: and i like earth Musicals :P>
  23. [10:59] <marianaJumper> MJ: Human earth not blorgan earth>
  24. [11:00] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Human earth musicals can be pretty cool.
  25. [11:00] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: But have you ever experienced a Blorgon earth musical?
  26. [11:00] <marianaJumper> MJ: no i have not>
  27. [11:01] <marianaJumper> MJ: they sound interesting, can you link me one?>
  28. [11:01] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: I'll do my best to find one that's allowed to be on the internet.
  29. [11:01] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Most of them are too beautiful, and are hidden for the sake of everyone who can never experience them in person.
  30. [11:02] <marianaJumper> MJ: ...i should delete this log just in case a higher up does a check and they go after your planet earth>
  31. [11:03] <marianaJumper> MJ: and hopefully they don't go after the other watery earth by mistake>
  32. [11:03] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Don't worry, we have a killer defence system.
  33. [11:03] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: It involves a whole lot of burning turtles.
  34. [11:03] <marianaJumper> MJ: shit what if something happened to Kate, i haven't talked to her since the first time!>
  35. [11:03] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Who?
  36. [11:03] <marianaJumper> MJ: then they'll go after the weaker earth, human earth>
  37. [11:04] <marianaJumper> MJ: Kate, my friend who i talked to once and who got me hooked on musicals a while back>
  38. [11:04] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Oh, alright.
  39. [11:04] <marianaJumper> MJ: haven't talked to her since cause military rules>
  40. [11:04] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Maybe you could set up a way to defend human earth from the alien invasion?
  41. [11:05] <marianaJumper> MJ: best i can do is delete this log>
  42. [11:06] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: What if you trick the army into taking a right turn at Space-Albuquerque?
  43. [11:06] <marianaJumper> MJ: you seem like a cool dude transhuma->
  44. [11:06] <marianaJumper> MJ: why do you have human in your blorgan handle?>
  45. [11:07] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Well you see.
  46. [11:07] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: In my language human means the same thing as kiwi.
  47. [11:08] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: My Blorgan handle translates loosely to a burning turtle that crosses a kiwi.
  48. [11:08] <marianaJumper> MJ: what's a kiwi>
  49. [11:08] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: :7O
  50. [11:08] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: You have not lived, my troll friend.
  51. [11:09] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Think of a Blorgan musical except it's food and covered in hair.
  52. [11:10] <marianaJumper> MJ: ah but here's my counter my blorgian friend>
  53. [11:10] <marianaJumper> MJ: i have not experienced your musicals yet!>
  54. [11:10] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Allow me to find a sample that someone may have leaked online.
  55. [11:11] <marianaJumper> MJ: :0 scandalous>
  56. [11:11] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Observe... this.
  57. [11:11] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjHUb7NSrNk&t=43s
  58. [11:11] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Note that this is just an approximation, because the real thing would be a war crime.
  59. [11:12] <marianaJumper> MJ:...>
  60. [11:12] <marianaJumper> MJ: we have very different cultures it seems>
  61. [11:13] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Blorgian music is universal.
  62. [11:13] <marianaJumper> MJ: you seem like a cool guy either way>
  63. [11:13] <marianaJumper> MJ: name's Ventus>
  64. [11:14] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: I'm Crazy Joe.
  65. [11:14] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Nice to meet you, Ventus.
  66. [11:15] <marianaJumper> MJ: seems Blorgans and Humans share similar naming schemes too besides the ones for their planets>
  67. [11:15] <marianaJumper> MJ: you sure you're not human?>
  68. [11:15] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: I am definitely a Blorgan.
  69. [11:15] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: I was named for the first sound I made after birth.
  70. [11:16] <marianaJumper> MJ: you were very well spoken if you said "crazy joe" as your first sound>
  71. [11:16] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Thank you.
  72. [11:17] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: My parents, Upchuckawakblah and Snarfoodle, thought so too.
  73. [11:18] <marianaJumper> MJ: what are parents?>
  74. [11:18] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Alright, imagine a kiwi.
  75. [11:18] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: And then imagine that kiwi being both of your parents.
  76. [11:18] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Those are parents.
  77. [11:19] <marianaJumper> MJ: you can't describe something using itself, that causes like an infinite spiral description?>
  78. [11:20] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: I didn't describe it using itself, I described it using a kiwi that's like itself.
  79. [11:20] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Kiwis, if you recall, are delicious hairy musicals.
  80. [11:20] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: So imagine a musical that's hairy and delicious and your parents.
  81. [11:20] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Those are parents.
  82. [11:21] <marianaJumper> MJ: Crazy my man, that name fits you well>
  83. [11:21] <marianaJumper> MJ: what's been up with your day?>
  84. [11:21] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: I have spent an entire day eating churros and hunting a clown.
  85. [11:21] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Also falling off of a pogo stick.
  86. [11:22] <marianaJumper> MJ: clowns are dangerous, is the hunt close to ending?>
  87. [11:22] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: I believe it has. I have stolen the clown's nose and am about to replace him on stage.
  88. [11:23] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: It was a hard fight, with lots of lives lost. But my assistant and I have overcome his hilarious wiles.
  89. [11:24] <marianaJumper> MJ: good luck with that, is your companion okay?>
  90. [11:25] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: She's doing better than she's been in the past.
  91. [11:25] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: She'll be okay.
  92. [11:25] <marianaJumper> MJ: i'm glad for you>
  93. [11:25] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: So am I.
  94. [11:26] <marianaJumper> MJ: keep them safe if they make you feel better as well>
  95. [11:26] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Indeed I will.
  96. [11:26] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: What about you, though?
  97. [11:26] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: What have you been up to in the troll military?
  98. [11:28] <marianaJumper> MJ: well today was the big race that only happens 4 times a sweep>
  99. [11:28] <marianaJumper> MJ: apart from the first i entered i've won every one>
  100. [11:28] <marianaJumper> MJ: and my record still stand tho people did try to kill me>
  101. [11:29] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Impressive.
  102. [11:30] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: What kind of race was this? Driving around or an actual footrace?
  103. [11:31] <marianaJumper> MJ: kinda footrace but it was more wallrunning with our jumpkits and some annoying moving platforms>
  104. [11:32] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Ooh, exciting.
  105. [11:37] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: Alright, well, I think I have a clown to replace.
  106. [11:37] <transhumanistShellfire> TS: It was nice meeting you, Ventus.
  107. [11:37] <marianaJumper> MJ: was nice meeting you too Crazy>
  108. [11:38] * transhumanistShellfire [TS] ceased pestering marianaJumper [MJ]
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