The Nu-Weggie Daddeh

BadMunsta, November 11, 2014; ??:?? / FB ID: 27451
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The Nu-Weggie Daddeh
Lapis's Tale

You are Lapis, a bright blue unicorn stallion with a dark blue mane. You are also a dummeh, nu-weggie "piwwowfwuff" now. Your old Daddeh took weggies when you broke his TeeBee. You informed him that you needed your weggies to run, play, and give huggies. And, you even promised to never break anything again, but old Daddeh took your weggies anyway.

You had biggest saddies when you lost your weggies, and cried lots. This made old Daddeh unhappy, but that was his own fault for taking your weggies. You told him that you would stop crying so much if you got your weggies back. You couldn't run, play, give huggies, or even move anymore, so obviously, you'd have saddies and cry all the time. But, old Daddeh didn't listen. Instead, he took you to a shelter with other nu-weggie fluffies. It should have been fun seeing all those new friends, but they all had biggest saddies too, and it just made your saddies even worse.

But one day, nyu Daddeh came! He took you to your new housie, but you still had big saddies. You loved when Daddeh gave you huggies, but got really lonely when we was at workies. So, Daddeh got you a special friend, Lily! She is a pretty, light peach-colored earthie mare with a light yellow mane and tail. She used to be a nu-Daddeh fluffy. Old Daddeh said that nu-Daddeh fluffies were bad, but Lily is the nicest fluffy ever! You love playing with Lily, and getting huggies from her. She even let you give her special huggies, and Lily got tummeh babbehs.

You are so excited to be a Daddeh! True, Lily doesn't roll you around as much, but she still gives you lots of huggies. While you are drinking from the wawa bottle, you hear Lily shout, "BIGGEST POOPIES!"

"Babbehs comin?" you ask.

"Yus, babbehs comin!" she shouts.

"Fwuffy hewp speciah fwiend!" you say, as you try to walk over to her. But then, you remember that you don't have weggies. You would ask her to come over to you, but it doesn't look like she'd want to walk at the moment. Instead, you watch the birth process of your babbehs. Lily squeezes out five babbehs from her special place. After each one is born, she sniffs it, calls it a "gud babbeh" then gives it cleanies. You are so glad that the babbehs are gud babbehs and have weggies. Since you are a nu-weggie fluffy, you were worried that you'd give her bad babbehs, or dummeh nu-weggie babbehs. But, fortunately, that didn't happen, you feel so proud!

You, wait, watching, as she puts her foals on her milky places, and sings mummah songies. Eventually, you get up the nerve to ask her to move you, or bring the foals over to you. "Speciah fwiend, Daddeh wan see babbehs!" you shout, waving your dummeh stumpies to get her attention.

She looks up at you. "NU! Wapis's stumpies too scawy fah babbehs!" she shouts angrily. That sounds meanie. Yes, your stumpies are ugly, but you are still the foals' Daddeh. They aren't THAT scary.

"But dose Daddeh's babbehs too!" you protest.

"NU! Am mummah, knu wat best fah babbehs! Babbehs nu wan dummeh nu-weggie Wapis!" she shouts.

"BUT AM DADDEH!" you yell.

She slowly stands up, as the two foals on her milky places unlatch, and start fussing. "Sowwy babbehs, mummah be back soon," she says, as she walks over to you. "Mummah say, Wapis too scawy fah babbehs!" she says as you gives you a nose boopie.

"OWIES! Why speciah fwiend give owies?" you ask. She responds with another nose boopie. "OWIES!" you shout.

"Nu be woud, some babbehs twyin' ta sweep, dummeh!" she says, as she starts rolling you away from the babbehs, to the other side of the safe room. She rolls you behind the play-housie, so that you can't even see your babbehs. "Dummeh Wapis stay hewe, and nu tawkies, ow get big owies! Mummah nee' give miwkies an' huggies ta gud babbehs," she says. She slips out of your view. You want to call for help, but she and the babbehs are the only ones here. So, you whimper, waiting on Daddeh to get home, "Huu huu, why speciah fwiend nu wuv fwuffy nu moah?"

After what seems like forever, you hear Daddeh walking by the saferoom door. "HEWP DADDEH! SPECIAH FWIEND AM MEANIE!" you yell.

"What happened?" asks Daddeh, as he quickly walks into the saferoom.

"Speciah fwiend say fwuffy-Daddeh am too scawy fah babbehs, den give owies, and move fwuffy-Daddeh so fwuffy nu can even see babbehs," you say.

"LILY!" shouts Daddeh.

"Nu be so woud! Babbehs twyin' ta sweepies!" she protests, as she walks over to Daddeh.

"Lily, Lapis said you were being mean to him," says Daddeh.

"Oh, dat onwee cuz Wapis twy to scawe babbehs wif stumpies. Babbehs am fah huggies and miwkies and wuv, nu am fah scawy stumpies," she protests.

"Lily, what's gotten into you? You used to love Lapis," says Daddeh.

"Mummah am mummah nao. Nee' giv wuv ta babbehs. Nu wan give wuv ta dummeh Wapis nu moah," she says.

"Now, Lily, that isn't very nice. Those are his foals too," says Daddeh.

"Otay, Daddeh. Den Wapis shud hewp mummah?" she asks.

"Yes, Lily, Lapis should help you take care of the foals," says Daddeh.

"Otay, babbehs nee' huggies nao. Wapis, give babbehs huggies, pwease," says Lily.

"YAY! Fwuffy-Daddeh give babbehs huggies!" you say, wiggling your stumpies. Then you remember something, "But fwuffy-Daddeh nu have weggies! Nu can give huggies!"

"Dat am wite. Wapis am dummeh fwuffy. Nu can give babbehs huggies ow upsies ow do anything ta take cawe of babbehs! Am usewess dummeh! Can onwee scawe babbehs wif dummeh stumpies!" shouts Lily.

"HUU! HUU! Why speciah fwiend so meanie!? Huu! huu!" you cry.

"Lily, that isn't very nice," says Daddeh, angrily.

"But dat am wite! Wapis can nu give huggies, ow even wawkies. Mummah even nee' woll Wapis ta da wittah bawks," says Lily.

"Lily, I know that. But, you need to help Lapis, since he doesn't have any legs," says Daddeh.

"But dam nu am wite. Mummahs am fah hewpies fwum fwuffy-Daddehs. Mummah nu can be gud mummah ta babbehs, an' take cawe of a dummeh fwuffy-Daddeh. Dat meanie ta mummah, and ta babbehs, cuz babbehs nee' aww mummah's wuv," says Lily.

"Lily, I got you to help make Lapis happy," Daddeh interjects.

"But Mummah an' babbehs am Daddeh's fwuffies too! Babbehs nu am toysies, babbehs am awive! Babbehs nee' Daddeh's wuv too. Babbehs nee' even moah wuv cuz dey am jus' wittah babbehs," Lily says.

"You know what, you just might be on to something. It isn't fair to you or the foals to make you take care of Lapis," says Daddeh.

"But dis am fwuffy's housie!" you protest.

"No, Lapis, this is MY house. *I* pay the bills and the mortgage. And I say that I care about all my fluffies the same. It does not matter who was here first," says Daddeh, as he leans over, and picks you up.

"Wat Daddeh doin?" you ask.

"I'm sorry, Lapis, but the rights of the many outweigh the rights of the few. You will just be a burden to Lily and her family, so your going to have to leave," says Daddeh.

"But dat nu am faiw! Daddeh onwee get speciah fwiend ta make fwuffy happeh! Nao, speciah fwiend takin' fwuffy's Daddeh and housie!" you protest, as Daddeh takes you out of the safe room.

"I am sorry, Lapis, but when I got Lily, she became my fluffy too, and I have to care about her as much as I care about you," says Daddeh.

"But... Fwuffy wuv Daddeh! huu huu," you cry.

"Sorry, but this is how it has to be," says Daddeh. You wish that things could go back to how they were before the foals were born, when Lily loved you, and played with you, and gave you huggies.

"Maybe... Daddeh can get wid of da babbehs. Den, speciah fwiend wuv fwuffy again, an’ nu be too busy ta take cawe of fwuffy!" you suggest.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" shouts Daddeh.

"Wat? Fwuffy say sumfing wong?" you ask, confused.

"OK, Ok, Lapis," says Daddeh, calming down, "Would you be happy if I flushed your foals down the toilet?" asks Daddeh.

"Yus Daddeh! Dat make fwuffy da happiest fwuffy evah! Den speciah fwiend wuv fwuffy again, an' fwuffy can stay wif Daddeh!" you shout excitedly.

Daddeh lets out a sigh. "Well, Lapis, thank you," says Daddeh with a smile, as he takes you out the front door, "You are making this much easier on me."

"Wat?" you ask, confused.

"You showed me that you don't care about your own foals, and presumably, anything other than yourself. So, I won't feel about getting rid of you," says Daddeh.

"NU! FWUFFY BE GUD FWUFFY FAH DADDEH! WUV DA BABBEHS! PWEASE DADDEH! FWUFFY SOWWY!" you protest, as Daddeh takes you out the front door. Daddeh just flicks you in the nosie. "OWIES!" you shout. You look up toward Daddeh, waiting for a response, but he doesn't say anything. "Wat fwuffy do wong?"

"I told you. You don't care about anyone but yourself. I knew unicorns could be brats, but I expected you to at least care about your own children. From now on, I am sticking with just earth ponies," says Daddeh.

"PWEASE! FWUFFY WUV DADDEH! FWUFFY WUV DADDEEHH!!!" you yell. Daddeh doesn't say anything back. Instead, he takes off the lid to the trash can, and puts you in it.

"NU! DADDEH! Fwuffy nee' Daddeh! Fwuffy wuv Daddeh! Pwease, nu am twashies! NU AM TWASHIES!" you shout, but Daddeh doesn't respond. Instead, he puts the lid back on the trashie can, and it goes dark. "NU SCAWY! NU WIKE DAWKIES! PWEASE DADDEH! FWUFFY JUS WAN GO BACK IN HOUSIE! BE GUD FWUFFY! HUU! HUU! HUU!" you whine, "WHY NU WAN WUV FWUFFY?! AM GUD FWUFFY! HUU! HUU! HUU!"