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Anonfilly: Discordant Knight

DiscordFilly Nov 11th, 2018 (edited) 464 Never
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  1. ~~~Chapter Prologue~~~
  2.  
  3.  
  4. Post 1: >>184484
  5. >Be anon?
  6. >You're still not sure how it all happened.
  7. >You sit, still dazed, only half paying attention to a purple mare aggresively spooning food into your mouth.
  8. >It was too much, too fast; the transfer, the transformation, and now this...
  9. >Equestria?
  10. >Adoption?
  11. >Discord?
  12. >It was hard to tell what was real and what was a probably drunken hallucination.
  13. >You could only try to recall all that had happened in the last twenty hours or so.
  14. >..."Twenty hours", that is, in terms of how it all felt to you, at least.
  15. >You're still assuming that a whole thousand years didn't actually pass since you woke up this morning.
  16. >...
  17. >You had been sitting in your car in some parking lot, just contemplating things
  18. >Just a few minutes ago, your employer had given you "unlimited vacation" from your job.
  19. >Something about how your recent work had been lacking, or something.
  20. >You didn't really care at that point, the reason for being fired can't change the fact that it happened.
  21. >It was tedious, and you two never actually liked each other much at all, but the day job had been your only source of income at that point.
  22. >As you think, you see how the past few years had been wasted at this dead-end job.
  23. >Nothing had changed since you first started, except for the patience and time you had lost to the endeavor.
  24. >You even felt the same way as before, lost and indecisive.
  25. >Back then, you at least had the hope that you might climb the ladder of work, so to speak, and slowly get promoted into an actually interesting and well-paying career.
  26. >Now, that too, has been lost.
  27. >You had the savings for maybe a month with all expenses paid, but what kind of future could possibly lie beyond that?
  28. >You simply couldn't answer that vital question, and thus, you sat at a standstill.
  29. >Listlessly, you wandered back in the direction of your apartment, still deep in thought.
  30. >You didn't pay attention as a male-ish voice called at you for help.
  31. >At least, you assumed they called for help; you hadn't been listening, so you didn't hear what he said.
  32. >You figured it didn't matter either way, there was plenty of stronger people than you ready to swoop in and save him.
  33. >You had your own problems, like those w, Prologueeird bright lights to your right that aRE HEADED STRAIGHT FOR YOU AND ACTUALLY BELONG TO A HUGE TRUCK OH GO-
  34. >Pain enveloped your entire existance as your legs lost contact with the earth.
  35. >You flew a foot above the air, time slowing as it dawned on you just how much everything hurt.
  36. >Not just the physical pain; after everything, the only reason you could be so calm after being fired was because you were already emotionally dead.
  37. >You tumbled across the hard road, and another pain slices through your midsection.
  38. >Screeches and screams assault your ears from all directions.
  39. >You try to open your eyes, only to be blinded by bright headlights of a parked car that probably also just hit you.
  40. >Everything is woozy, and you cease to be able to move rather quickly.
  41. >The taste and smell of blood is in your mouth.
  42. >Your mind, so busy just a minute ago, simply stops.
  43. >You can't even call yourself aware as numbness consumes you.
  44. >consumes you.
  45. >you...
  46. >...
  47.  
  48.  
  49.  
  50. Post 2: >>184485
  51. >Thoughtlessly, formlessly, lifelessly, you become aware of... something.
  52. >You aren't alive, you can't think, and you can't move.
  53. >You can't see or feel anything around you.
  54. >There's just you, if you can call it that, and nothing else.
  55. >Or so you think, when a voice returns your awareness to you.
  56. >"I see both of our times have run out rather suddenly."
  57. >You can't respond, and you only barely comprehend the words.
  58. >Still, at the same time, you don't misunderstand them at all.
  59. >"I am offering you a second chance at life, in a new land. Do what you want with it, for whichever purpose you see fit. However, only on the condition that when you are able, go and free me. I am currently being turned to stone, so I can't tell you much about where you can find me in the future. Just know that I am Discord, and that as the Spirit of Chaos, you must use the powers of Disharmony-AAAAAUGH!"
  60. >Your existance was suddenly pulled along, offering no chance to resist.
  61. >You followed the voice into a new light, a warm one.
  62. >It's the first you've felt in a while.
  63. >You close your eyes as more and more of yourself is returned to you.
  64. >Slowly, your body rebuilds itself until finally you can move again.
  65. >...
  66. >The scenery around you has changed drastically.
  67. >You lie in the middle of some old-fasioned-looking village, with thatch-roof houses and multi-colored ponies staring at you in fear.
  68. >Wait ponies?
  69. >Looking around, multiple equines surround you, many of them slowly backing away.
  70. >You stare back in confusion, when a pain in your head knocks you to the ground.
  71. >...
  72. >Life really feels like a fever dream at this point, with you now waking up groggily in yet another new location.
  73. >An odd, crystalline room greets you as you open your eyes once more.
  74. >Pain returns to your head, and instantly you remember what you saw before, what you heard before, even how you died before.
  75. >There's no wonder at all that you died, there's some instinctual part of you that denies any questioning otherwise.
  76. >And the voice?
  77. >You can remember every word, distinctly the name, Discord.
  78. >Discord...
  79. >Memories resurface of your past, of a TV show you had idly checked out many years before.
  80. >A Spirit of Chaos named Discord had played the role of villain in one episode before six ponies, the "Mane Six", the "Elements of Harmony", had encased him in stone.
  81. >Discord himself even mentioned being petrified, further cementing those facts into your mind.
  82. >Idly, you wondered why you weren't freaking out in any way, good or bad.
  83. >You remember feeling for a short time as you arrived in Equestria, but suddenly, it's as if you just don't.
  84. >Is this just shock?
  85. >In either case, you feel a small sense of shock as a door nearby suddenly creaks open.
  86.  
  87.  
  88.  
  89. Post 3: >>184486
  90. >"Hey, are you awake?"
  91. >You turn your head towards the purple mare in the enterance, remembering her name in the show as Twilight Sparkle.
  92. >Curiously though, you can see wings on her back.
  93. >You could have sworn she was just a unicorn, but then again it was quite a while since you last watched an episode.
  94. "Yeah, do you know what haaa... ppened?"
  95. >You're slow to notice, but your voice is much higher-pitched than normal.
  96. >It causes a weird kind of pause in your speech, followed by you finishing the sentence as fast as possible.
  97. >Your eyes cross themselves as you try to look down at your mouth, and see that your nose has mysteriously turned fat and green.
  98. >"Well, honestly I don't know everything about it, but you've been out for the last few days. When you showed up, you just stood there for a second, and then fell over backwards. When you finally got to the hospital, scans showed several broken bones across your entire body."
  99. >That was certainly news; you had thought that maybe someone had gotten the idea that you were a monster and attack you.
  100. >But you just fell over and knocked yourself out? Is that even possible?
  101. "Alright, but what about how I look now?
  102. >"To put it simply, we didn't know if we could save your old body. Your physiology was very complex and foreign to us, so we had to make it more familiar so that we knew our healing spells would work."
  103. >Alright, that makes sense...
  104. >...Does it?
  105. >Your face contorts with confusion, but as you open your mouth to ask how transforming your body safely wouldn't be far harder, she continues speaking.
  106. >"Anyways, while you recover, you'll be under my care. Say, what's you name?"
  107. "Anon, but ho-"
  108. >"Nice to meet you! I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, and while you recover, it'll be my job to inform you about Equestria, and to make sure you know everything about it that you need to."
  109. >Her response is jovial, but still aggressive. It frustrates you how clearly she's dodging the subject you're trying to bring up.
  110. >"Any questions? Good! There's a lot that you'll have to learn about being a filly, and I'll be glad to teach you everything you need to know."
  111. "Filly?!"
  112. >"Yep! Female pony child, also known as a filly."
  113. >The shock fades quickly, as does the anger you expected yourself to feel.
  114. >You're just confused by now, bewildered beyond any form of reason that can just be explained to you with words.
  115. >Dumbly, idly, you nod your head in silence.
  116. >You might as well try to get up, so you do.
  117. >It's mechanical, unfamilar, but still instinctual.
  118. >You're wobbly as you get up, but it's hard to tell if that's due to the bed's shakiness or your own.
  119. >"Hey, why don't we get you off the bed and onto the floor?"
  120. >Looks like Twilight's betting on the reason being the bed.
  121.  
  122.  
  123.  
  124. Post 4: >>184487
  125. "I actually do have a question."
  126. >Twilight tenses a little, clearly ready with another subject change.
  127. >But this time, you're ready to talk over her.
  128. >"Well abo-"
  129. "What do you know about Discord?"
  130. >"Well you se-"
  131. >"..."
  132. >It takes a second for the question to register in her mind, since it's clearly not what she expected.
  133. >She ponders if for a moment, as if recalling the name from some deep trench in her mind.
  134. >"You mean some old mare's tale about a God of Chaos who one tried ruling Equestria?"
  135. "I'm pretty sure, yeah."
  136. >"Well, isn't it just that? Fiction?"
  137. >You can't say you expected that, and you have to take your own second to ponder her answer.
  138. >Now that you're a little more awake, you do remember hearing about the great controversy around Twilight getting wings and being crowned Princess.
  139. >However, that was clearly after Discord's defeat, meaning that she really should know who Discord is.
  140. >Is this just a different pony than what you were thinking, after all?
  141. "I guess it is..."
  142. >"Then, why ask? Honestly, it sounds like a random question."
  143. "Well, uh, I wanted to get you to stop interrupting me and dodging my questions."
  144. >She looks at you funny, but lets you continue.
  145. "So, how is it easier to transform m-"
  146. >"*Ahem*, anyways, now we have t-"
  147. "-e int-"
  148. >"-o trave-"
  149. "-o a fil-"
  150. >[i]SMACK![/i]
  151. >Pain meets your face one more and you look at Twilight in shock, the sudden physical contact unlike anything you had been expecting, from the show or otherwise.
  152. >"Listen up! As Princess, I will not tolerate you talking over me!"
  153. >[i]'Bitch, you're the one talking over me.'[/i]
  154. >"And as I was saying, we'll have to take a trip over to Canterlot so you can get citizenship of Equestria. Due to your rather unique circumstance, I don't want to take any kind of risk, because I wouldn't be surprised if some weird ancient overlooked law could mess things up otherwise."
  155. >It was a little annoying to have her just assume that you wanted to become a citizen of Equestria, but since you died in your old life, you had no reason to believe that it was possible to return.
  156. >Somewhat begrudgingly, you can only decide to follow her, for now at least.
  157. >Plus, since it is Canterlot, it might be able to provide some information that Twilight either cannot or will not divulge to you.
  158.  
  159.  
  160.  
  161. Post 5: >>184488
  162. >Canterlot is no different than what you remember from the show.
  163. >It's big, gorgeous, and hangs precariously off of a cliff that it has no right to be built off of without instantly collapsing.
  164. >The trip was only a few seconds long, since Twilight is as fond of teleportation as ever.
  165. >Quite quickly were you rushed towards the looming castle ahead, past strangers and bystanders before they could even wave at the purple princess and/or yourself.
  166. >Or snort, in the case of some predictably snobby nobles as the castle inched closer and closer.
  167. >You expected to be pulled along further when Twilight actually reached the castle, but instead, she basically dumps you in the garden while stating that she'll just go on ahead.
  168. >You're still suspicious of her and her true intentions, but there's nothing much you can do now; she was long gone before you could even have a chance to consider following.
  169. >It doesn't take too much garden wandering to find one particular attraction.
  170. >Now right ahead of you was the stone statue of Discord in all its frightened glory.
  171. >"You're... late..."
  172. >Suddenly, a deep voice resonates inside of your mind.
  173. >You jump, looking around even though you can tell it's coming from Discord himself, still trapped within the statue.
  174. >"It's been a thousand... years, Harmony too strong... Need... chaos..."
  175. >The voice sounded stressed, and strained, completely unlike what you had heard in your death-dream-slumber-whatever it was.
  176. >Wait, did it say 1000 years?
  177. >You voice your concerns, but recieve no answer.
  178. >Still, it's all you need to know.
  179. >Your only true goal here is to get him free.
  180. >As per your "agreement", which you're still wondering even counts considering the circumstance.
  181. >It's hard to tell, your memories are very vague regarding what happened in between your lives.
  182. >Plus, you don't really want to think about what it felt like to die.
  183. >However, looking into your mind, you don't really have any idea about how to spread "chaos".
  184. >Or even which type of chaos is needed.
  185. >Pranks? Panic? Politics? ...Flat-out crime?
  186. >You don't even know to what degree you have to fulfill your end of the "bargain".
  187. >Well, you shouldn't be dumb at least; this is a creature with the power to grant you a second life as he was being defeated.
  188. >He could damn well take it back away if he felt that you didn't want to take the deal after all.
  189. >Nothing seemed certain to you, except that your new life was bound to this so-called "spirit of chaos" and the chaos he wanted you to create.
  190.  
  191.  
  192.  
  193. Post 6: >>184489
  194. >Your idle garden wandering was eventually interrupted by the voice of Twilight calling out to you.
  195. >For some reason, there was some part of her excitedness that only left you on edge.
  196. >"Emerald Dawn! Over here! I have good news for you!"
  197. >...Emerald Dawn? Really? Did she want to force some pony name on you just because "Anon" would have been unusual?
  198. >Hesitantly, you approach, noting the papers held in her glowing purple aura of magic.
  199. >Unsure of what else to say, you decide to take the probably bait.
  200. "What do you mean by 'Emerald Dawn', Twilight Sparkle"?
  201. >"That's 'Mommy' to you, young mare!"
  202. >You halt, as does your mind.
  203. "Then those are...?"
  204. >"Your citizenship certificate and adoption papers. They were all accepted, by Princess Celestia herself!"
  205. "...Let me see."
  206. >She floats the sheets your way, and you read them as carefully as you can, making sure not to miss a single letter.
  207. >The first is your "citizenship certificate"
  208.  
  209.                                  No. 4318905
  210.                        CERTIFICATION OF NATURALIZATION
  211. Description of Holder: Age    8     years; Height    3     legs,  2   hooves; Color    Green   ;
  212. Complexion:    Medium   ; Color of Eyes:    Green   ; Color of Mane & Tail:    Black   ;
  213. Tribe:     Earth        ; Gender:   Female   ;
  214. Cutie Mark:                         ?
  215. Be it remembered that                          Emerald Dawn                                     ,
  216. residing at number          547 Berry St.            , city/town of         Ponyville           ,
  217. who previous to naturalization was a citizen of            Fictopia              , having
  218. applied to be admitted as a citizen of Equestria and has been accepted as of      4/13/1003    .
  219. Signed: Celesita                          Signed: Luna
  220.  
  221. >Your old country clearly hadn't been "Fictopia", which sounds like something made up on the spot.
  222. >Furthermore, your cutie mark was simply labelled as being unknown.
  223. >You suppose that you just didn't have one yet, that you'd need to discover your special talent on your own.
  224. >Your hair and eye color were both the same at least, even if pretty much everything else was different.
  225. "Hold up... I'm a girl now?"
  226. >"What did you think Filly meant?"
  227. >Twilight simply nods her head and says this, leaving you to toss it in the "fuck it bucket" for later, along with basically everything else that's happened today.
  228.  
  229.  
  230.  
  231. Post 7: >>184490
  232. >The adoption form is much less detailed, but clearly as valid.
  233.  
  234.                     No. 290536
  235.              Certificate of Adoption
  236.               This is to certify that
  237.                    Emerald Dawn
  238.             Has been formally adopted
  239. Into the care of           Twilight Sparkle
  240.         On the day of     4/13/1003
  241. Signed:    Celestia          Signed:     Luna
  242.  
  243. >You can only sigh, having long since been defeated.
  244. >"Aren't you just happy? Oh, I know! Whe should celebrate at the Diner!"
  245. >You don't resist at all as she pulls you along by the hoof.
  246. >...
  247. >That simply leaves you were you are at now, being pestered by the mare trying to be your "mommy"
  248. >She does sometimes slip the spoon past your lips, but you don't really care for the taste or even what it is.
  249. >Slowly, you process it again and again, what you've seen, felt, and read on this day.
  250. >You blink, and your eyes feel wet.
  251. >Ignoring twilight's response, you silently grieve for your old life.
  252. >It didn't matter anymore that you didn't have any kind of future as your old self in your old world.
  253. >For fucks sake, you still had yourself and your happy memories.
  254. >Your parents, your friends, your experiences...
  255. >None of them were great, but at least you had them.
  256. >But now?
  257. >...You have no idea how to answer that question.
  258. >"C'mon, Emerald, you have nothing to cry about. Cheer up!"
  259. >Her aggressive words finally reach your ears, but you make the conscious decision to offer no comment.
  260. >Still, something about them irks you.
  261. >That wasn't a friendly or concered "cheer up"
  262. >That was the "cheer up" of that cranky old witch who just wanted you to shut up and do what you're told.
  263. >The kind of person who would rush you into transformation, naturalization, and adoption not even a day after finding you, with no concern whatsoever.
  264. >What was it that Discord wanted again?
  265. >'Chaos'?
  266. >Well, you can create some chaos, all right.
  267. >Now, you just have to figure out how...
  268.  
  269.  
  270.  
  271. Post 8: >>184491
  272. >Be filly at nightime
  273. >Sneaking through Twilight's castle was a nightmare in and of itself, so you were glad to finally be outside again.
  274. >You knew you wouldn't be glad when you had to return, but whatever.
  275. >Ponyville really was a ghost town at night, it's nothing like what you're used to, were you could still expect at least a couple cars to drive by in the dark.
  276. >Oh well, that'd just make your plans easier.
  277. >Admittedly, your plan didn't exactly stretch farther than this point.
  278. >Then again, that's chaos in its own way, isn't it?
  279. >...
  280. >By the time your wandering takes you near some residential district, you feel impatience rise up within you.
  281. >"Fuck it..."
  282. >You mutter under your breath as you take a sharp turn towards the nearest house.
  283. >Turning the knob with your hoof, it's no surprise to see it locked.
  284. >Oh well, there are plenty of rocks nearby, and the windows don't look solid at all.
  285. >...
  286. >SMASH!
  287. >It took a few tries and just the right angle, but eventually, it goes in.
  288. >Clearly though, it's louder than what you would've liked.
  289. >More than a few windows have brightened up.
  290. >Thankfully, the window is just barely low enough for you to quickly lift yourself up.
  291. >Ignoring some cuts from broken glass, you hide in the first place you see when you get inside.
  292. >That being a broom closet.
  293. >From the now only slightly opened door, you look around to see what you can do now.
  294. >Lots of drawing supplies are on the various tables, ranging from crayons to brushes.
  295. >A paper canvas on an eisel is nearby, with random indistinguishable doodles on it.
  296. >In general, there are lots of paint stains and arts/crafts supplies around the messy room.
  297. >Finally, an idea comes to you, but now you have to wait for the commotion to die down.
  298. >...
  299. >It's quiet again, and all the lights have shut off.
  300. >Tentatively, you leave your little chamber, and inspect the new mess.
  301. >Thankfully, the glass and rock are undisturbed.
  302. >With some tape, a thin brush, and some red paint, you create your masterpiece.
  303. >"THROW THIS THROUGH THE WINDOW OF ANOTHER PONY'S HOUSE OR DEMONS WILL EAT YOUR CHILDREN!!!"
  304.  
  305.  
  306.  
  307. Post 9: >>184492
  308. >Not the most brilliant or elegant plan in the world, but you figure it's worth a shot.
  309. >Since it's far from guaranteed to work, you figure that you should do something else, too.
  310. >From the broom closet, you grab a dustpan to gather up the broken glass.
  311. >Not to clean up, mind you, but certainly to do... something.
  312. >As you do so, a new idea comes to you.
  313. >It's evil, it's vile, it's awful and you'd despise any pony that did this to you for the rest of their life.
  314. >You find the kitchen, and pull out several of the foods within.
  315. >Into each, you dump several of the shards from your pan.
  316. >Applesauce, a cake, flour, sugar, various juice cartons, amoung many other foods, now all hide glass shards.
  317. >To top it off, the big pieces were forced deep into the trash bin, lined with a bag that could be cut open with a shard and a little bit of pressure.
  318. >It's probably more straight-up evil rather than chaotic, but it's the start you needed.
  319. >Now, you either have to wait for some kind of response, check on the statue yourself, or simply try something different.
  320. >...
  321. >You're touring the town with Twilight "Mommy" Sparkle, half-listening as she describes places that you don't really care about outside of potentially terrorizing.
  322. >The other half of your attention is distracted by all the holes in other ponies' windows.
  323. >It seems like by now, every one in seven homes has been desecrated with a broken window.
  324. >It's baffling, and the only explanation you can come up with is simply that the concept of chain mail is foreign due to the internet not being invented yet.
  325. >But in some way, it still makes you smile.
  326. >It's a half-smile, of course, you don't need Twilight to see it.
  327. >But there's definitely satisfaction to be had in such a scheme actually turning out to be successful.
  328. >...
  329. >Apparently, the tour went by quicker than Twilight expected it.
  330. >It certainly went by quicker than you expected; you thought that the panicking and clearly-intending-to-trash-someone's-window ponies might slow you down at least a little.
  331. >Given that she didn't have anything else on her schedule at this hour, you were left with your first free time since your revival.
  332. >Now that you think about it, you probably should have made a few more rocks, in case the recipiant wasn't gullible and/or he/she had no children.
  333. >At the very least, it was plenty successful.
  334. >Now, you just had to come up with some way to contact Discord.
  335. >Of course, his statue was still all the way in Canterlot, outside of easy access, especially if you wanted to do this more than once.
  336. >Or maybe you're overthinking it?
  337. >What if it's as easy as simply praying?
  338. >You have heard him referred to as the "god" of chaos at least once, after all.
  339. >On the fly, you concentrate as hard as you can and come up with some BS prayer mantra.
  340. "O Discord, Great God of Chaos, I pray that thou shalt bless my soul with your words.'"
  341. >...Just as you were about to give up, you can feel a response in your head.
  342. >It's weak, it's only barely audible, you're not even sure if it's real, but you still listen as best as you can.
  343. >"Go on..."
  344. "Oh, uh... Today, I brought chaos to Ponyville. I threw rocks into people's homes, with messages that would prompt the ponies to throw those same rocks into others' houses."
  345. >There's no audible response, but you feel a form of affirmation in your head, prompting you to continue.
  346. "Also, I put broken glass in most of this one house's food, and used the rest of the glass to shred their trash bag."
  347. >Eagerly, you await a response from Discord, as you feel him pondering your words within your own head.
  348. >Input response?
  349.  
  350. Surprise! While this isn't completely a CYOA, you will be able to give your voice through Discord's response. Rolls will help determine what he says, unless the post is along the lines of "stop spreading chaos".
  351.  
  352.  
  353.  
  354. ~~~Chapter 1~~~
  355.  
  356.  
  357.  
  358. Post 1: >>185368
  359. >>184562
  360. >>184596
  361.  
  362. >"The stoning was rather clever, but blind cruelty is not the chaos I desire. Don't let anger influence your actions, and possibly attempt to remedy your wrongdoings during tonight's stint of spreading. If I am to rise to power, blind fear in my subjects will aid me poorly. I will forgive this only once."
  363. >You take a second to consider his words, unsure if you can continue being so clever without running out of ideas.
  364. >As if sensing your lack of confidence, he continues.
  365. >"Don't worry your noggin one little bit, I know you can pull through for me. In fact, I can raise you a challenge. If you could be either Celestia’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?”
  366. >Instead of awaiting a response, a feeling of lonliness takes over you, leaving to answer the question only to your own self.
  367. >Celestia's worst enemy?
  368. >You figured something like that might happen eventually, considering your overall goal.
  369. >But to try right away?
  370. >And without plain cruelty to her little ponies?
  371. >It would be a challenge for sure, and despite Discord's reassuring words, you still didn't believe in your ability to do so.
  372. >That's when Twilight's voice interrups your thoughts from down below.
  373. >"Alright Emerald, are you ready to meet more new friends out in Ponyville?"
  374. >You knew it wasn't a question, but an order.
  375. >After shouting a quick "Yeah, alright," you carefully make your way towards the enterance of the castle, trying not to get lost yet another time.
  376. >...
  377. >You're outside, and bored as ever.
  378. >Even with the shock mostly worn off, it's hard to care about these ponies that Twilight is throwing in your face.
  379. >You'd already met her five closest friends, the other members of the "mane six".
  380. >This time, it was mostly ponies around the age that Emerald Dawn was supposed to be.
  381. >Those being fillies and colts that ignored you after immediately noticing how much you didn't care to know them.
  382. >Not on Twilight's terms, at least. It'd probably be better to introduce yourself for real if you ever escaped Twilight's presence.
  383. >That is, until Twilight finally tracked down the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
  384. >You had forgotten up until this point, the kind of trouble they tended to get in with their cutie mark schemes.
  385. >Interestingly though, it seemed that in this wacky world, they had actually gotten their marks.
  386. >On the off-chance that you could still use them to make some mayhem for Discord, you decide to actually listen this time around.
  387. >"Hey girls! I have a new friend I'd like to introduce you to."
  388. >"Princess Twilight!"
  389. >Three heads turn your way, faces written with immense curiosity.
  390. >The orange pegasus, Scootaloo if you remember correctly, is the first to speak.
  391. >"Hey, I haven't seen you around here. Who are you?"
  392. >While only partially prepared, you force yourself to talk as soon as possible, before Twilight can take over and drive the conversation out of your hands.
  393. "I'm A-AEmerald Dawn, I just got here to Ponyville yesterday!"
  394. >It's still just a little surprising whenever you actually hear your voice.
  395. >It's generally why you've spoken less than you used to in your old life.
  396. >"Uh, okay, well I'm Scootaloo."
  397. >The yellow earth pony is next.
  398. >"My name is Apple Bloom."
  399. >And lastly but not least, the white unicorn.
  400. >"Mine's Sweetie Belle, and we are:"
  401. >At the very least, you were right in preparing to cover your ears.
  402. >"THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!!!"
  403. >...Yeah, your head definitely hurts after that, and yes, there is even a dim ringing noise in the back of your skull.
  404. >Slowly, you lower your hooves away from your ears, just in time to hear a few quiet apologies in response to Twilight's angry look.
  405.  
  406.  
  407.  
  408. Post 2: >>185369
  409. >Apple Bloom's the first to continue the conversation afterwards.
  410. >"So, what's your cutie mark mean?"
  411. "I don..."
  412. >You look at your backside as you speak, unsure as to why they're asking when you're pretty sure you don't have a cutie mark.
  413. >To your surprise, a bold black question mark greets your eyes, just like the one you saw on your citizenship form yesterday.
  414. >As quickly as you can, you come up with some kind of lie, any kind of lie really, as your best bet with them is to convince them to help you find your cutie mark.
  415. "That's uh, that's not a real cutie mark."
  416. >Four surprised expressions greet you, including one from Twilight.
  417. >However, Scootaloo's expression quickly morphs into one that's a bit more skeptical.
  418. >"Just what do you mean by that?"
  419. "It's not a cutie mark, it's just a brand..."
  420. >While none of them seem to get what you mean, Sweetie Belle is the only one to voice their thoughts.
  421. >"What, you mean like a product brand?"
  422. "No, I mean the kind of brand that is burned into your flesh with glowing hot metal. I'd... rather not go into details."
  423. >Their faces are replaced by gaping mouths, wide eyes, and pinprick pupils; all except Twilight, whose expression is instead suspicious.
  424. >And now also except Scootaloo, clearly engraged that the prospect of someone doing such a thing to another.
  425. >"Who? Who they hay did that to you? Who deserves the beatdown of the year?"
  426. >You didn't quite expect that intense of a reaction, but you can't say it really surprises you, either.
  427. >Feigning a sad expression, you leave your response vague so you can get to the point without risk of too many questions your way.
  428. "Just... someone I once thought I could trust, someone who's behind bars now. I just want to move past what happened now. I'm hoping my cutie mark will fix my flanks when I finally get it."
  429. >You can't help but remember a real incident in your past, where your trust was broken and you used to have the scars to show for it, even after they were jailed.
  430. >The scars just weren't in the form of two matching question marks burned onto your ass cheeks.
  431. >At least the added bonus reason for them to accept you definitely didn't hurt as Apple Bloom speaks up again.
  432. >"Well, we'll help you! Because, that's just what we Cutie Mark Crusaders do, don't we?"
  433. >"YEAH!"
  434. >Unfortunately, Twilight just has to but into your plans and be strict about her plans.
  435. >"You can save it for later girls, I still have to finish introducing Emerald to the rest of the ponies in the town."
  436. >Their disappointed expressions are plain as day to you, your general dislike of this Twilight Sparkle, and your plans to use their ideas for Chaos convince you to do your best to ditch her and join them for as long as you can today.
  437. "Twilight, is that really needed?"
  438. >"That's 'Mommy', but what is it?"
  439. "I'm serious about getting my cutie mark, I want to spend time with them as soon as possible. I can learn about the rest of the ponies here later, I promise!"
  440. >As a good sign, she actually stops to consider your words.
  441. >"Only if you do take the time to know everypony else, alright?"
  442. "Sure."
  443. >By that, you mean "heck no", but she doesn't really need to know that.
  444. >"Alright, but you be back at the castle before the sun sets. No exceptions!"
  445. >Before you can roll your eyes at her, Sweetie Belle speaks up.
  446. >"We won't have any problems doing that, Princess Twilight!
  447. >Thus, you're left alone with the crusaders, already feeling as if a giant weight has been lifted from your back.
  448.  
  449.  
  450.  
  451. Post 3: >>185370
  452. >Back at the castle, at nighttime
  453. >Thus, you're left shockingly disappointed.
  454. >'Since when did the Crusaders become sensible?'
  455. >The activities were still fairly exhausing, of course, but they still didn't give you many ideas, at least none that you could utilize easily.
  456. >They did include some fairly labor-intensive work like a bit of construction, for example.
  457. >However, it was all small-scale stuff, not the kind of stuff you were hoping for at all.
  458. >Stuff like writing, playing instruments, various sports, stuff that would have to be stretched rather far to garner dishonesty without an immense amount of work and time.
  459. >At the very least, from a mix of their stories from the past and your own memories, future endeavors could include the usage of substances such as Poison Joke or Love Poison.
  460. >However, one of those was hidden in the Everfree Forest, and you wouldn't know how to make the other without first tracking down the same book that they read it from, given that you don't remember the recipe and they obviously weren't willing to share.
  461. >Besically, neither option could be plausibly done today, unlike what you wanted.
  462. >That could be on you, though; you had wanted something that would top the chain-mail, which had already died down shortly after Twilight left.
  463. >Of course, you didn't want to just admit defeat, either.
  464. >While you wouldn't be likely to find the poison joke you're after, it would still probably be beneficial to scout out the Everfree Forest at least a little.
  465. >After all, it's just about the most chaotic place in Equestria that you can think of, and you remember it from the first and second episodes not actually being all [i]that[/i] dangerous.
  466. >Still, it'd probably be better to come up with a backup plan for spreading chaos before entering and getting your guts ripped out or something.
  467. >Pulling a sheet of paper and a quill out from the desk in your room, you decide to simply leave a short note for twilight.
  468. >Nothing honest, of course; instead, you forge a ransom note about how she should investigate every suspicious house in Ponyville if she wants to find you, and an extra little tidbit that if Twilight doesn't find you quickly, the rest of her family is next.
  469. >Hell, if anything, if you ever have to give a reason why someone would want to take you hostage, you could use it as something to add to your story about the "brands" on your flanks.
  470. >...
  471. >By now, you should just dig yourself a secret passageway that leads right from your room to the outside.
  472. >But, that'll have to wait for later.
  473. >Now, you set your sights upon the shadowy woods.
  474. >You don't know exactly where it is compared to Twilight's castle, but you did pass it a few times this afternoon, so at least you have a general idea about its location.
  475. >However, as you walk along, something catches your attention.
  476. >Yesterday, Ponyville seemed completely desolate under the night sky.
  477. >But now?
  478. >You're not so sure.
  479. >You stop, and listen around.
  480. >Already, you're on guard for one of yesterday's victims trying to catch you on this night.
  481. >But, nothing more than unease meets your senses.
  482. >You trot along, when a rustling in some nearby bushes draws your attention.
  483. >Wasting no time, you walk over, being as quiet as possible even though whoever's in them is probably watching you.
  484. >But, when you reach them, you don't find anything within.
  485. >Sighing, and turning around, you find nothing behind you either.
  486. >Darn, you were prepared to not be scared when whoever was in the bushes magically popped up behind you.
  487. >You turn towards the woods once more, only to then be an inch away from two sets of dark, swirl eyes... causing you to fall back on your flanks in surprise.
  488. "Gah! Yo-you're there?"
  489. >The voice is feminine and high-pitched, like Pinkie Pie but not quite as high or fast-paced.
  490. >Though that might just be from her annoyed tone.
  491. >"Really, someone like you being surprised so easily? I never would've expected that!"
  492. >It's hard to see the details of her face, but it looks like her eyes are purple, her fur is pink, and her main is purple with what would be a thick white stripe through the middle if it weren't so curly and messy.
  493. >She's also taller than you, like other mares you've seen, and oddly enough, there's the outline of some kind of beanie hat on her head.
  494. "Well I thought you'd be right behind me."
  495. >"Of course, the thinkings of a total amateur. Silly me for getting my hopes up."
  496. >[i]Of course[/i], the novelty of this meeting had worn off fairly quickly, so you voice your thoughts and push behind her.
  497. >"Not so fast, you! You don't just get to ignore me, you- hey! HEY!"
  498.  
  499.  
  500.  
  501. Post 4: >>185371
  502. >You continued storming off, only partly caring about how oddly peeved you were getting at her.
  503. >"Hey, don't be mad!"
  504. >She floats up to you somehow, despite lacking any visible wings, but you simply speed up and do your best to leave her behind.
  505. >"Hey, can't you just stop? For a second?"
  506. >Again you speed up, already looking for some alleyway to duck in or something if she's not going to give up.
  507. >"Hey, you aren't even going the right way!"
  508. >As if she somehow knows where you're going. Speed up.
  509. >"Hey, two can play at that game!"
  510. >She zips past you completely, but your only response it to turn around and gallop away while you still have the chance.
  511. >"Hey, you can't just do that! That's cheating!"
  512. >You don't even speed up this time, since she hasn't actually caught up yet.
  513. >"Hey, why don't you just slow down? Please? I just wanna talk!"
  514. >Your patience was not designed to be stretched this thinly, especially not be such a whiny-sounding voice.
  515. "Stop fuckin' saying 'hey' in every damn sentence and maybe I'll actually consider!"
  516. >"Hey, little foals shouldn't talk like that! You oughta have that mouth of yours washed out with bacon, little filly!"
  517. >Ignoring the odd choice of words, your pace increases to a complete sprint without any more words to her.
  518. >"Oh come on, a joke! That was supposed to be a joke! You know, to cheer you up? Ah, WAAAIIIT!"
  519. >...
  520. >Finally back at the castle, you don't even care that you pretty much wasted your time.
  521. >Patience with coming up with chaotic ideas would be far more preferable to patience with the ponies that like to hang around at night, apparently.
  522. >Quickly, you enter and lock the door as tight as possible, wishing for no further intrusions to your night.
  523. >...
  524. >Once again, finding your room was more difficult than you liked.
  525. >Your fake kidnapping note was still there undisturbed, so you took it down as you enter, folded it, and hid it in the back of some drawer to be used later.
  526. >You roll your eyes that even that idea turned out to amount to nothing, but still, anything beats her voice.
  527. >Except maybe Twilight's, but you can't exactly walk away from her like that without greatly reducing your chances at survival.
  528. >Not because she'd actively try to kill you, at least not probably, but the citenship and adoption papers have already been signed, and it might not be in your best interest to so directly resist something signed by two different princesses and approved by a third, desire for chaos or no.
  529. >So, of course, the moment you look out your window, you find a pair of swirly purple eyes staring back at you while being smushed against the glass.
  530. >You shoot at her the most deadly glance you can come up with, but she only waves her hoof at you excitedly.
  531. >Whatever, as long as she can't get in, you can just close the blinds and-
  532. >Nevermind she got in somehow anyways; she's just on the other side of the window now, staring at you with no possible explanation as to why.
  533. >Welp, time to so directly resist something signed by two different princesses and approved by-
  534. >"I'm sorry, alright? No more games, at least not until the end of this conversation."
  535. >That's just about the last thing you thought you'd hear, and it makes you pause, if only for a second.
  536. >But only for a second.
  537. >You turn to leave, but in a flash, she's ahead of you and blocking the only exit to your room.
  538. >"Please, just talk to me!"
  539. >You look up at her, into those bizzare eyes, trying to gauge her motive for doing this, her reason for acting and talking so desperately.
  540. >Unlike hers, you keep your words hushed, a probably vain attempt to not wake up the sleeping princess in the next room.
  541. "Fine, I'll talk to you."
  542. >And right away she has that same excited expression, like a puppy after her owner returns from a long day away from home.
  543. "Alright I've finished. Now get out."
  544. >And her face just shatters to a million pieces.
  545. >"Please, Anon..."
  546.  
  547.  
  548.  
  549. Post 5: >>185372
  550. >It startles you that she somehow knows your real name, but you set that aside for now.
  551. >Clearly, she's not going to give up until you miss out on all of your sleep.
  552. >When you look up at her again, it looks like she's on the verge of tears, although her eyes don't seem to be wetting up.
  553. >As hostily as you can, you demand to know what she wants.
  554. >"Just to talk..."
  555. >For a second, you consider her words.
  556. >It's the same as she said before, so at least that's probably not a lie.
  557. >Hesitently, you prompt her to go on.
  558. >"I- I wanted to introduce myself. My name is Screwball, and I've noticed the chaos you've been trying to stir at night."
  559. >So that's what this is about.
  560. >Well, it was as you suspected, though not quite in the tone that you had in mind.
  561. >You thought the first pony to catch you in the act would be outraged, probably accusational, but not so sincere sounding.
  562. >Well, almost sincere, at least.
  563. >"I just wanted to help you a little. I've loved chaos all my life, so I just got so excited to see somepony else who seemed to share in it."
  564. >Carefully digesting her words, you ask her to elaborate further.
  565. >"Well, I thought that maybe, with out powers combined, we could create for outselves a whole new era of chaos to Equestria. Think about it! We'll make ponies go mad together, rewrite physics together, even end the school system and its evil homework! It'll be fun!"
  566. >As she speaks, she slowly loses the timid, fragile bunny act to regain her ever present and now ever familiar excitement.
  567. >It hadn't impressed you anyways.
  568. "Sorry, not interested. I can do it alone..."
  569. >You look away as you speak, unable to stop doubting your own words.
  570. >Despite your first success, despite what you were able to come up with on the spot, despite all reason, you couldn't shake the same kinds of thoughts you were having before.
  571. >The ones you were having as you were brutally flung about by not one hit from a car, but two back-to-back hits.
  572. >There's no future for you.
  573. >Even as a pony, your special talent is and always will be a literal huge question mark.
  574. >As if not even fate has any actual purpose for you to be alive in the first place.
  575. >It's only when you feel fuzzy warmth blanket you that you realize how wet your eyes are getting.
  576. >For at least a solid minute, but for what feels like days, you rest in her embrace, with no more words being exchanged.
  577. >Idly, in the back of your mind, you wonder why Twilight couldn't be this way for you.
  578. >That's before you start to feel a little uncomfortable.
  579. >Not from awkwardness or anything emotional, but an odd stuffy feeling in your head, that you can't quite describe easily.
  580. >It reminds you of those times you would sit upside-down in your chair...
  581. >...Opening your eyes, you see your bed above you.
  582. >Except it's actually below you, as somehow Screwball moved you onto the ceiling without you feeling any movement whatsoever.
  583. >You scream, you flail, and you hit something solid outside of your range of vision that causes you to fall down, intensifying your fear.
  584. >You sink deep into the bed as you land, and bounce back up a decent hight.
  585. >It seemed you'd have to face round 2, ready or not.
  586.  
  587.  
  588.  
  589. Post 6: >>185373
  590. >By the time you've at least stopped bouncing and screaming, Twilight had barged in, eyeing you the way a sleep-deprived college student would an alarm clock.
  591. >"By all the harmony in Equestria, why are you screaming so loud?"
  592. >Frantically, you look around for Screwball, failing to find her in any place you can see from the top of your bed.
  593. >Unable to put off talking to twilight for any more than that, you're forced to confront her frightning level of hostility.
  594. "Uh... Nightmare?"
  595. >She squints her eyes in suspicion, but says nothing more as she backs out the door.
  596. >When you hear her bedroom's door slam shut, a new noise greets your ears, one that sounds awefully like a helicopter.
  597. >Looking up, you see Screwball floating down from the ceiling she hadn't been at just a second ago, rubbing a dark spot on her cheek.
  598. >She looks down at you as she descends with a mixed expression of guilt and unsurity, probably over what she should say after all that.
  599. >For dropping you from the ceiling, causing Twilight to yell at you, and for being such a general nuisance, you want to hate her.
  600. >To whisper-yell at her, to throw her out into the cold night outside, to never have the displeasure of seeing those freaky eyes ever again.
  601. >You just want to...
  602. "Thank you."
  603. >She looks like she can hardly believe what she just heard as she leans closer towards you.
  604. >However, you stop her with your hoof, much to her disappointment.
  605. "But no more hugs, alright? I can only take so much in one night."
  606. >To your chargrin, she still pulls your hoof close, but releases it quickly afterwards.
  607. >Fortunately, she seems to have taken the hint, and quieted down her voice.
  608. >"Alright. Can I sleep in here, though? It's been like a thousand years since I've last been able to actually sleep indoors."
  609. >What.
  610. >You give a very concerned frown, one that is also very confused.
  611. "How? A- And who are you that you can live for that long?"
  612. >"Oh, didn't I tell you? Discord's my Daddy, silly!"
  613. >Oh, so she is.
  614. >That makes... sense?
  615. >Wait, hold on...
  616. >What?
  617. >"Huh, guess I forgot to mention it. Sorry about that!"
  618. >You sit there, piecing things together with this one newfound fact, and then your face contorts completely with complete panic.
  619. "Oh shiiit shit shit shit shit, I've been avoiding and antagonizing his daughter, I just smacked and bruised his [i]daughter[/i], I-"
  620. >She interrupts you by pressing her hoof against your snoot.
  621. >"Shuuush, shush sh- sh- sh- sh- ush, it's okay, I can get him to forgive you. I already have. But back to my request,"
  622. >Even though her words are reassuring, it's obvious to you both the extra care you take, however instinctual, as you push her hoof away from your mouth so you can speak.
  623. "Uh, yeah, sure, alright... I'll just sleep on the floor and-"
  624. >She stops you the same way as before, holding your mouth closed with her hoof as she speak.
  625. >"It's your room, and I'm not going to let you treat me differently, just because you now know something about me that you didn't before. I'm still the same pony as before, you know. The identity of my Daddy shouldn't change that."
  626.  
  627.  
  628.  
  629. Post 7: >>185374
  630. >Ultimately, you concede, but even after all that, those last words of hers ring hollow in your mind.
  631. >You find yourself jumpy, unable to keep your eyes closed with her at the other side of the bed.
  632. >It probably doesn't help that you have little to no blanket for yourself, or that there's only one pillow and you let her have most of that as well.
  633. >But, she's already snoring away happily, clearly in a happier sleep than she's felt in, well, a millenia.
  634. >Still, despite her looking as cute and cuddly as a sleeping kitten, you can't help the unease you feel from her.
  635. >It's just... she's the daughter of Discord.
  636. >[i]The[/i] Discord.
  637. >The guy who turned all of Equestria upside-down when he was free, the guy who pulled you across dimentions in the god's equivalent to his final moments before being reduced to a powerless statue.
  638. >That Discord, who you've been trying to set free only out of fear of losing this second chance at life.
  639. >He's the one who Screwball looks up to as a "Daddy", and is likely the reason for all of her unusual powers, plus many more that she's simply yet to demonstrate.
  640. >How are you supposed to trust that?
  641. >How're you supposed to sleep next to that when she could hang you from the ceiling without you noticing just by hugging you?
  642. >Well, that's not fair; you'd already forgiven and even thanked her, thinking that you could break out of this shell for once and actually enjoy something from this life.
  643. >Are you just being stupid?
  644. >Are you just being an irrational hypocrit, ready to go back on your own word at the first inconvenient revealation?
  645. >Probably, but clearly reason alone isn't enough to fix your feelings.
  646. >Sighing, decide to turn over and talk to her, since you aren't going to get any sleep at this rate.
  647. >Cautiously, you poke at her back to try and wake her up before your worry convinces you to stop trying and instead torture your mind more in trying to force yourself to sleep.
  648. >"...Meow?"
  649. >...God damn it.
  650. >Also, you just realized that you don't actually know how to ask what you want to ask.
  651. >As in, how the fuck do you essentially tell someone to not be so creepy so that you can fall asleep next to them?
  652. >"Troubles sleeping?"
  653. >Or she can just be suddenly sharp again and know exactly what you were thinking, that works too.
  654. >"Look, it's okay, I can leave you be and sleep somewhere else. It's fine, I won't mind if it bothers you so much."
  655. >You don't want to know how much Discord would agree with that, though.
  656. >"And if you're only doing this because you don't want to offend Daddy, then you really don't have to worry about that. He's nice, and'll listen to what I have to say. He wouldn't want me use him to burden you this way, especially when you're trying to help set him free."
  657. >You give an annoyed huff.
  658. "Would you stop reading my mind?"
  659. >Looks like she still doesn't mind dropping the kitten act just for some mischief.
  660. >"No, never!"
  661. >Your only response is the biggest death glare you can muster in your tired state.
  662. She holds her hooves up (relatively speaking, since she's still laying on her side) defensively.
  663. >"Kidding, kidding."
  664. >You sigh, feeling the tiredness show through your face.
  665. "But no, I don't want you to leave. I just... I just don't know how to calm down, even though I want to."
  666. >Honestly, it feels weird to say that, so very unlike how you normally act.
  667. >You've barely known her for a few hours; you should be telling her to go away, not inviting her close with such blind trust, shouldn't you?
  668. >"And here I thought you wanted me to go away at all costs!"
  669. >Here comes death glare round two.
  670. >"Kidding, kidding. Hey, why don't you just ask discord?"
  671. >She knows about that too?
  672. >You voice a "Hm?" in reponse, curious as to how she knows about what you had assumed previously to be a private conversation.
  673. >"Yeah, he told me about how you figured that out aaall by yourself. You know, you can be pretty smart when you need to be."
  674. "Uh, thanks. So um... O Discord, Great God of Chaos, I pray that thou shalt bless my soul with your words."
  675. >You hear a "Snrk" from her at your word choice, but you decide to ignore it and continue.
  676. "I didn't get to spreading around chaos today, but I did meet your daughter. She's, well, she's, uh..."
  677. >"He's having trust issues because I forget to tell him about you being my Daddy until after he ran away from me and then hit me, even though I already forgave him. Could you help us?
  678. >Not exactly the way you would've liked to word it, but you can't exactly help that now.
  679. "Ah, yeah, pretty much, ha ha, uh..."
  680. >Input response?
  681.  
  682.  
  683.  
  684. ~~~Chapter 2~~~
  685.  
  686.  
  687.  
  688. Post 1: >>186817
  689. New chapter incoming, the pastebin will be updated quickly after I'm done posting this: https://pastebin.com/H5KHNdMA
  690.  
  691. >>185467
  692.  
  693. >"You humans are bigger worryworts than ponies. Can't you ever learn to live in the moment? Learn from Screwy."
  694. >And thus, a huge weight is lifted from your shoulders.
  695. >Well, it's not like every doubt is gone after only one sentence; you know that despite his words, it's likely best to, at the very least, try not to offend or bother "Screwy" if you don't need to.
  696. >Plus, he left the "call" rather quickly, much quicker than last time at least.
  697. >You're not sure what it could mean, if he's just conserving energy or he actually is upset over you hitting his daughter, upset over giving up on spreading chaos so easily, or-
  698. >"Anon, are you okay? What did Daddy say?"
  699. >Oh right, this might be your room still, but for tonight, you aren't alone in it.
  700. >For some reason, convening with Discord via prayer makes it easy to forget everything else about your surroundings.
  701. "He called me a bigger worrywart than a pony, and to learn from you. That's it."
  702. >She nodded her head in understanding at first, but then tilted it in confusion.
  703. >"Than a pony? What did he mean by that?"
  704. >You're surprised at first, until you remember that the only reason you're a pony is due to Twilight, and that Discord had nothing to do with what your species is.
  705. "Oh, he didn't tell you? I was a human in my past life, and I was a human when I came here. But apprently, I immediately passed out due to several of the bones in my body being broken, so Twilight Sparkle decided to turn me into a pony."
  706. >Your expression becomes contemplative as you "hm" in thought, recalling past questions that you made but were forced to leave unanswered.
  707. "Honestly though, I still don't get how that's easier than just magicking my wounds away without completely changing its biological makeup in the process."
  708. >She simply looks at you with concern, the expression alone indicating that Twilight probably lied to you about something at the very least.
  709. >"You're absolutely right. Hay, if a permanent transformation was easy to make, I bet Daddy would've made you a pony to begin with. He certainly wouldn't leave you a broken mess that could only be saved through such extreme means!"
  710. >You get where she's coming from, but you do have to wonder how a certain detail played into things.
  711. "Are you sure about that first part? He tossed me into Equestria while the Elements of Harmony were petrifying him, so I wouldn't be surprised if he just didn't have the time to do anything more that he could otherwise."
  712. >She jumps forward into her half of the shared bed's pillow, making you wonder how high she would have flown if she were standing up.
  713. >"He what? But that was a thousand years ago! How did I not notice you until now?"
  714. >That's a tricky question, considering how little you know about it yourself.
  715. "Well, I only actually appeared a couple days ago. For some reason, the transport just took a thousand years or so."
  716. >A "hm" of her own is her only response, at least in regards that subject.
  717. >"Anyways, Daddy's absolutely right, and so am I. You don't need to be so worried all the time, at least about myself and Daddy."
  718. >You simply nod your head in agreement and/or resignation, letting the rest of the excitement within you die down for the night.
  719. >"And to repeat it so you know it with absolute certainty, you know that you can never trust me at all."
  720. >Straight back to the world of the living, your mind shoots as you realize what's wrong with the above sentence.
  721. "What."
  722. >She hits you lightly in the shoulder, not enough to hurt but forceful enough to get your full attention.
  723. >"Kidding, kidding, kidding. Well, the punch is for revenge for hitting me earlier, but mostly I wanted to cheer you up."
  724. >You try to come up with some kind of protest, but it dies when you realize that it actually works.
  725. >Yawning for the first time this night, you settle in closer to Screwball, murmering a good night to her.
  726. >With the comfort of your first true, no-strings-attached friend since coming to equestria, and even since your old life began to stagnate, you sleep.
  727.  
  728.  
  729.  
  730. Post 2: >>186820
  731. >You wake up feeling refreshed and well-rested.
  732. >Stretching out in all directions, you feel for the thing that your brain is telling you should still be here.
  733. >To your confusion, all you find is something that shouldn't be there, taped to your face.
  734. >It's a note in messy writing.
  735.  
  736. Sorry for leaving so early Anon, the night was great but I can't risk being seen by Princess Twilight. Don't worry about what you should do tonight, I have a plan for the both of us.
  737. ~Ballscrew
  738.  
  739. >Still not fully awake, you wonder why the name looks wrong, but forget about it when you turn the letter over.
  740. >Amusingly, it's the familiar gore-colored note that you originally were going to use to trick Twilight into thinking that you had been kidnapped.
  741. >It's also startling, considering the fact that Twilight could just as easily barge into your room and read the note on your face, as she could barge into the room and discover a sleeping Ballscrew.
  742. >...Wait, wasn't it Screwball?
  743. >Huh.
  744. >Well, if it's important, you can ask her about it tonight.
  745. >The note, that is.
  746. >Otherwise, it's probably safe to assume it's just another one of her weird little jokes.
  747. >Cramming it back into the same drawer you put it in before, you push yourself out of bed and head in a direction you hope will lead to the kitchen before you starve to death.
  748. >...
  749. >By the time you reach the kitchen, you're seriously wondering why Twilight needs so much castle to herself when other than you, she's the only one living here.
  750. >Wait, is that true?
  751. >You remember Twilight of the show having a little dragon companion that she lived with, who was called something along the lines of "Spike".
  752. >Now that you think about it, where is he?
  753. >Tucking it in the back of your mind, you make yourself a sandwich and wait for Twilight to swing by.
  754. >...
  755. >You're done eating, but Twilight still hasn't showed up yet at all.
  756. >Nervousness tucks its way into your gut, making you wonder if everything's really fine.
  757. >Without any better option, you head out towards a direction that probably leads to an exit.
  758. >Even if you can't find Twilight yourself, you should at least be able to find out where she is from another person, given that she's a princess.
  759. >...
  760. >Once outside, you're relieved to see the usual crowds of townspeople, going about their day just like any other.
  761. >Tapping the leg of the closest mare to you, you ask about the question on your mind.
  762. >"Oh, the Princess? Everypony knows she locks herself in her magical lab on Saturdays. If you need her for anything, you'll just have to come back to the castle tomorrow."
  763. >Feigning disappointment, you look down in what actually is frustration and annoyance at Twilight's blatant negligence.
  764. >To think that you were almost concerned about her!
  765. >Sighing, you turn to leave when the same mare puts her hoof on your back to stop you.
  766. >"Say, what did you need from the Princess? If it's important, I am a unicorn, so there's a chance I may be able to help."
  767. >Looking upwards, you confirm that the mint green mare with golden eyes in front of you is indeed a unicorn.
  768. >You consider lying at first, before you remember that this is Twilight you would be talking about, so you probably won't even need to.
  769. "Well, I don't exactly need anything from her at this exact moment, but she is supposed to be my adopted mother..."
  770.  
  771.  
  772.  
  773. Post 3: >>186821
  774. >As soon as you blink, the outraged unicorn drags you into the castle, navigating its nonsensical layout startlingly well.
  775. >Before long, you see a big, black door that doesn't really fit with the rest of the decor of the castle.
  776. >It's definitely the kind of door that would fit with some secret, evil lab, though.
  777. >Your thinking is interrupted by words that are sharp and direct, and hardly the language you'd consider "safe", or at least "polite", when speaking with royalty of any kind.
  778. >"Princess Twilight, what the buck do you think you're doing?"
  779. >Twilight's response is, in comparison, far quieter and more distracted.
  780. >"Lyra? What are you doing in here?"
  781. >Lyra, as she's apparently called, doesn't back down when tossing accusations at her princess, either.
  782. >"First off, why are you leaving your own child, adopted or otherwise, to wander around without knowing at all where you are?"
  783. >Her gasp is audible as you silently cheer for your now second favorite pony.
  784. >"And secondly, why did you tell nopony about you actually having an adoption?"
  785. >That is a good point, you honestly thought that she had told everyone about you already.
  786. >Her friends at least recognised you, though now that you think about it, the CMC had no idea who you are, and the other random ponies she threw you at probably didn't know about you either.
  787. >There's a ruckus from behind the door, as if Twilight's kicking things around as she makes her way over.
  788. >"Gah, I'll be out in a second!"
  789. >Eventually, she does open up the door and step out.
  790. >When she does, he mane looks like a mushroom cloud and her entire body looks like she just tried to play "Santa down the chimney" but lost.
  791. >"So, what were you saying, Lyra?"
  792. >You hadn't realized it until now, but Lyra really had lost just about all of her patience by the time Twilight opened the door.
  793. >"As I was saying, [i]Princess[/i], you have no right to just abandon your adopted child in her room and leave her completely confused!"
  794. >However, Twilight isn't phased at all by the green unicorn's anger.
  795. >"I'll have you know I put a note on her door!"
  796. >You feel a little awkward about that, realizing that you jumped to conclusions a little bit there when you could have just checked your door.
  797. >Lyra disagrees, though.
  798. >"The outside of her door? You mean the one spot a pony who just woke up would never think to check? Come on Princess Twilight, you're better than that!"
  799. >Considering that one thing you hadn't before, she does have a point.
  800. >Plus, on the bright side, this means that at least you're no longer looping back to the beginning whenever you try to look around the Castle.
  801. >If you had that time, you would've noticed the note for sure!
  802. >As a bonus, Twilight's losing ground in the discussion quickly.
  803. >"Uh... W-well, so what? The problem is all resolved now, okay? So, you can just go away!"
  804. >So of course, she does what any whiny bitch does when you corner them and locks herself back into the seclusion of her little private room.
  805. >Lyra fruitlessly bangs on the door and shouts at Twilight for a few minutes longer, before giving up and leading you back out of the castle.
  806.  
  807.  
  808.  
  809. Post 4: >>186822
  810. >"Anyways, my name is Lyra Heartstrings."
  811. >You were sitting with her in Sugarcube corner, as she decided to take you for a treat since nothing else was happening today.
  812. "My legal name is Emerald Dawn, but you can call me Anon."
  813. >One head tilt later, and she's asking you why you would have her call you that.
  814. "It was what I was called before I was adopted. For some reason, she had it changed, and has insisted on calling me "Emerald" ever since. I really don't like it though, just like how I dislike a lot of what she does to me."
  815. >A mixture of concern and sympathy shows in her expression, and moreso when she speaks.
  816. >"How much about your life has she forced on you like that?"
  817. >Now that you think about it, it really is a lot, isn't it?
  818. >You describe to her most parts of your life in Ponyville so far: What you've been allowed to do, which ponies you met, when you could "do what you want" however limited that is, even the adoption itself.
  819. >You also thinkg about the other aspect too, the ones that you can't really tell her about easily, such as your species, gender, and physical age.
  820. >"That sounds horrible, like the exact opposite way I'd want to raise my foal if I had one."
  821. >Huh, at first you had assumed that she was a mother.
  822. "Really? You fooled me when you were bringing the talk to Twilight like that- about not having a foal, that is."
  823. >But, she simply waves it off like it's no big deal.
  824. >"Oh yeah, my friends say I'd make a great mother all the time, too. It's just so hard to find the right stallion though, there's so few of them here in Ponyville but I don't really have the bits to just up and move to a different town."
  825. >Darn, you were hoping that maybe you could arrange something that would cause Lyra to adopt you, but the bit problem alone sounds like it would make feeding you difficult.
  826. "Well, I can only wish you luck in finding that special somepony."
  827. >"Aw, thanks, that's sweet of you Anon. I don't really need it though, I'm not in a hurry. I've actually already found someone, and I write to him frequently. Right now, it's mostly a matter of saving up money."
  828. >You blink, half curious as to who she has her eyes on and half ready to tune her out even before she can start telling epics in the name of her beloved.
  829. "Okay, instead I'll wish you luck in saving up enough money."
  830. >She laughs, but then you agree the end the conversation and leave.
  831. >"I'll see you again later?"
  832. "Sure, anytime."
  833. >...
  834. >You've been wandering the village for a while now, still not sure what to do.
  835. >Sure, Screwball said you didn't have to plan for tonight's chaos, but that's basically your only idea for what to do in the day.
  836. >You can't find the CMC either, no matter where you look.
  837. >It is a Saturday, so unless this world is far more different than you thought, they should be out of school today.
  838. >Your only other ideas for what to do have some kind of price attached to each, which isn't really an option since you don't have any money at all.
  839. >For just a second, you regret not paying attention to when Twilight was touring the town and its resident children.
  840. >Though, there are those more long-term plans that you came up with yesterday, specifically about that love poison and the book that's still hopefully in Twilight's library.
  841. >Screwball only said you didn't have to plan for [i]tonight[/i], after all.
  842.  
  843.  
  844.  
  845. Post 5: >>186823
  846. >Nothing.
  847. >It's been hours already, but there are just too many books to reasonably search through.
  848. >It really doesn't help that you know nothing about the book itself.
  849. >Crap, you thought this would be the easier option just because your life probably wouldn't be put into extreme danger just to gather the materials.
  850. >Instead, it's the next best thing to impossible.
  851. >You groan outwardly just as Twilight walks in.
  852. >"Having trouble finding the right book?"
  853. >You look over at the door, where a freshly cleaned princess stands.
  854. >"I know that feeling well. I also know this library well, so just tell me what kind of book you want and I'll be able to grab the best one for you."
  855. >Well, at the end of the day, Twilight is still Twilight.
  856. >While you can't tell her what exactly you've been looking for, you can at least ask for something useful.
  857. >You've just gotta word it the right way.
  858. "Sure. I want a really chaotic story, where crazy things are happening all the time. Can you find me a book like that?"
  859. >Or you could just be one step away from being direct.
  860. >It's not like she really has a reason to suspect you of desiring to release Discord, after all.
  861. >"Yeah absolutely. Just give me a second..."
  862. >Already, dozens of books are floating through the air, floating around twilight for a moment or two before either landing on a nearby table for folding themselves neatly back into the slots where they came from.
  863. >By the time she's done, the table has collected a decent pile of varying-size tomes.
  864. >Looking them over, it's actually hard to decide on just one.
  865. >They're all different in concept due to the rather vague definition you gave her.
  866. >Perilous adventures, town destruction, monsters of all sizes, war, criminal activities, the apolalypse; possibilities swirl in your mind from the covers alone.
  867. >There's even a book detailing Discord's rule, but you decide it's too obvious of a choice, at least in the sense that Twilight might become curious/suspicious about your interests.
  868. >As you browse, a thought comes to mind, about the other idea that the CMC gave you.
  869. "Oh, and uh, I almost forgot; What's the best wilderness survival guide I can find here?"
  870. >You can tell it's not what Twilight expected from the shocked-to-concerned look on her face.
  871. >"What, exactly, would you need that for? You're not exactly planning to try exploring the Everfree or something, are you?"
  872. >Fighting back a sarcastic response about how you (probably) wouldn't have thought of that until she mentioned it, you answer in as neutral of a tone as you can.
  873. "No, I just thinking about how little I know about this land, about how easy it might be for me to be tricked by something just because I think I know how it works, based off of my old world."
  874. >But, instead of just letting it go, she stomps her hoof once and presses you with an accusatory tone.
  875. >"Alright, this is the third odd thing you've done this past couple days, so spill it. What are you hiding from me, Emerald?"
  876. >Shit, looks like this is payback for you pressing your luck.
  877. >Quick, gotta reason fast.
  878. "What, I can't be odd without hiding something? Why do ponies like Pinkie Pie get a free pass from you?"
  879. >"Because I already know why and how she does what she does. But you? I've seen you tell an obvious lie for reasons that I just can get, for the third time now. First off, your cutie mark is clearly not a brand. Secondly, ponies don't just brush off nightmares that force blood-curtling screams out of them as if they're just mildly awkward. And, your choice in literature can't be a coincidence as well!"
  880. >Uh oh, looks like she's trying to piece things together.
  881. >"Earlier, you asked me about somepony that you called Discord, as if you expected me to know something about it."
  882. >She leans even closer to you, so much so that you're just hairs away from booping each other.
  883. >"What do [i]you[/i] know about Discord?"
  884.  
  885.  
  886.  
  887. Post 6: >>186824
  888. >Unsteadily, you force yourself to act relieved, forcing a sight out that doesn't actually relieve any of your tension at all.
  889. >It'll be weird to talk about the show to her, but that's fine.
  890. >With luck, it'll let her forget about your lies that she's caught on to.
  891. "Oh, well... I didn't want to bring it up because it'll be weird to explain, but there's a cartoon on Television starring you."
  892. >She frowns in confusion, making you remember that TVs don't exactly exist in the show, at least according to your memories.
  893. "I guess you haven't heard of one, but it's a machine that shows moving pictures alongside audio. Basically, where I come from, your life was a source of entertainment for many enthusiastic fans."
  894. >"So what does that have to do with-"
  895. "There was a set of two episodes featuring Discord as a villain."
  896. >Thankfully, she shuts up when you interrupt with something shocking, just like last time.
  897. "It's really just because it's a detail of the show that didn't line up with reality-"
  898. >Nevermind.
  899. >Instead, she interrupts you by stomping her hoof down unnervingly close to your own leg.
  900. >"Okay, cut the outlandish excuses. What's the real reason?"
  901. >Damn, she won't buy it.
  902. >Not easily, at least.
  903. "I know it's hard to believe, but it's the truth that you are looking for."
  904. >But, she just offers a sigh of her own- a long, exaserbated sigh of someone thoroughly exausted.
  905. >"Okay, go ahead, just feed me more useless, false, and/or irrelevent facts. I hoped you would be able to trust me at least a little, but nooo, you always have to double down and make up something new. I see how it is, Emerald Dawn."
  906. >Once again, her words only irk you futher as she turns around and walks away.
  907. >She's miffed because she can't trust you?
  908. >Even after this morning, forcing all this change and adoption on you, after everything she's done to you?
  909. >...Now that you think about it, it's totally what you should've expected from her.
  910. >That aside, this does feel just a bit extreme for someone that should just see what you're saying as plain ridiculousness.
  911. "Just one thing: What makes you so sure I'm lying?"
  912. >She doesn't even turn to look at you as she gives her response.
  913. >"After you do it three times in front of me, it becomes obvious when you're lying or when you're genuine in your answer."
  914. >No further words are exchanged, and the door closes with no further ceremony.
  915. >Still, at least you have the discord-related books.
  916. >You'll have to find the survival book yourself, though.
  917. >Finding the nearest window, you see that it's getting pretty dark out now.
  918. >You suppose that you'll simply have to look tomorrow.
  919. >...
  920. >Stepping back into your room, a sense of something fills you.
  921. >Is it simple unease?
  922. >Guilt over lying so much?
  923. >Nervousness about Screwball's plan?
  924. >For too long, you pace in your room aimlessly, trapped in your thoughts about all that Twilight said, and what you hadn't known until now that she had been able to figure out.
  925. >You're almost so distracted that you miss the tap tap tapping on your bedroom window.
  926. >Almost.
  927.  
  928.  
  929.  
  930. Post 7: >>186826
  931. >You open up the window for Screwball this time, watching in awe as the tiny propeller on her hat alone is seemingly able to fly her entire body through the not-so-wide opening.
  932. >Her greeting isn't exactly too happy, however.
  933. >"Anon, word on the Street of Chaos is that you've been getting careless."
  934. >You're surprised, having never heard of any kind of "Street of Chaos" before.
  935. "There's a Street of Chaos? Where? And who found that out?"
  936. >But, she just giggles as you realize your folly.
  937. >"We're the only members right now, but as for who told me, you of course! You were looking pretty grim as I came in, so I figured something must've happened."
  938. >She had been idly looking around your room as she speak, but suddenly, her head snaps towards you.
  939. >You see tiny stars in her eyes as she speaks.
  940. >"I want juicy, juicy details~!"
  941. >You struggle to resist facepalming as you describe how much Twilight has put together.
  942. >"Oh, wait, so you actually had been careless? I thought you'd say that you had carelessly walked into my trap when I accused you of being careless. This is just troubling."
  943. >Now you do facepalm, rather hard in fact.
  944. >Well, it's not like you wouldn't have told her regardless, but it's still awkward to see just how badly you stumbled into that."
  945. >"Besides, why were you looking for more ideas? Didn't I tell you that you didn't have to look today?"
  946. >You wonder for a second, trying to remember if you had already told her why.
  947. >You thought you did, but then again you could have missed that.
  948. "You only told me I didn't have to plan for tonight. I wanted to get ideas for other nights..."
  949. >Instead of a smile or at least a curious expression, her frown only deepens.
  950. >"I wanted you to take a small break from all of that before tonight. You really have a one-track mind. Didn't you have any kind of hobbies before coming here?"
  951. >That is a good question, now that you think about it.
  952. >Before, you really didn't have much of any kind of hobby.
  953. >It was just eat, work, maybe play some video games, sleep, repeat.
  954. "Well, not really. Actually, my old life had been really boring."
  955. >"Geez, just how long have you been dead?"
  956. >Scratching your head, you feel discomfort rise up within you, contemplating if you should even think about the answer to that question.
  957. "Okay, don't answer that, I can tell already that it's been more than the thousand years you were actually dead. Back to my point, you really should focus on yourself during the day. I can handle planning myself."
  958. >You're not sure if you'll ever get used to Screwball telling you to focus less on chaos.
  959. >Actually, that seems like a good question to you; shouldn't she be wanting her daddy freed as soon as possible?
  960. >You voice your concerns, but that only ellicits a long groan from her.
  961. >"Okay, it's cute and all that you're so worried about Daddy, but, uh... you're useless if you get caught!"
  962. >For a second there, it looked like you had actually backed her into a corner, that you were about to make her realize just what she was arguing.
  963. >But you have to admit that's a pretty good point, you won't be able to do anything if you get locked in a dungeon/padded cell.
  964. "Alright, but how am I supposed to even start a hobby? I don't exactly have money on me, nor do I have many easy means of getting it."
  965. >Cue eye roll.
  966. >"Well you could have asked Twilight if you hadn't tried to act weird around her, or you could have asked your friends if you actually stopped to make some."
  967. >You stare at her blanky, but she forces a response at you by returning the blank glare even harder.
  968. "Okay fine, I'll actually try to play nice tomorrow. Can we get on with your plan, though? Time's ticking."
  969. >"Good. Also, for this time only, I'll get you a bit of money for you to play with, if that's really your excuse to not get a hobby."
  970. >Oh joy, so you're going to be robbing something tonight...
  971. "Oh, and before I forget again, what have you actually been doing this past thousand years?"
  972. >She stops, her expression shifting to an embarressed smile as she scratches the back of her head.
  973. >"Well, you see, I can't figure out how to contact daddy like you can..."
  974. >So, she just did nothing, by the sound of it.
  975. >Maybe you really don't need to worry so much about Discord being so impatient.
  976.  
  977.  
  978.  
  979. Post 8: >>186828
  980. >Be Crowbar, a middle-aged stallion watching over one of many banks in Canterlot from the top of a hill, a few hours after midnight.
  981. >It's not heavily well guarded, but there's enough ponies in and out to tell you that this isn't going to be too easy.
  982. >As long as you have your namesake by your side, you believe in your ability to fight you way out of any bad situation.
  983. >It hasn't failed you yet in your other break-ins, after all.
  984. >As you descend towards the bank, you notice something peculiar about the ponies going in and out of the bank.
  985. >They're not calmly trotting in or out, they're sprinting in and out with frantic confusion written all over their faces.
  986. >Plus, not that you can see them better, there's actually a mix of royal guard armor in with the various types of bandit-esque clothing, both from those rushing in, and those rushing out.
  987. >You had been apprehensive when that green filly told you about how the guards would be so busy, that you could just walk in and take what you wanted without worry about being caught.
  988. >But now, you see just how much she might've actually been right.
  989. >Chuckling to yourself, you trot in line with all of the other thieves flooding the bank, ready for riches but also to pound some ponies if/when things get nasty.
  990. >...
  991. >As it turns out, the inside is far more hectic than you expected.
  992. >Drawers and papers fly everywhere, as ponies everywhere try to fight each other while also tearing the walls down.
  993. >Even some hoofcuffed ponies are banging their cuffs against some walls or other each other's heads, evidently having escaped from highly distracted guards.
  994. >You hold your crowbar in a defensive position, ready to fend off random attackers deciding you're a good target just because of the random frenzy.
  995. >Just in time too, some mare actually dives towards you, only to faceplant into your crowbar as you swing back and probably break her muzzle.
  996. >Yep, looks like it's going to be a fun night tonight.
  997. >Avoiding the fights and chaos as much as possible, you stroll into one of the back rooms, ready to smash some safes and bag the bits within.
  998. >However, this place is ransacked, too.
  999. >Papers lie in a few places, scattered around small, beaten up, forced open, and emptied safes that have been scattered everywhere in the room.
  1000. >Figures it'd be this way; you were late to the party, so everyone already opened all the presents before you could get any.
  1001. >Still, it's not like they were able to completely sweep the place of loot.
  1002. >However, there are still just papers lying around the ground.
  1003. >Out of curiosity, you pick up one of the least-damaged looking ones, and read what it says.
  1004.  
  1005. YOU FOOL, YOU'VE JUST RAIDED SOME EMPTY BUT DECORATED WAREHOUSE!
  1006. ~Signed, Screw (You) Inc.
  1007.  
  1008. >...At that moment, you half-expected somepony to jump out and start laughing at your dumbfounded expression.
  1009. >Instead, there's only some guard, who you guess just followed you in while you were more focused on the various mobs outside.
  1010. >"Alright sir, you are under arrest for tresspassing, assault, and attempted burglary. Please come quietly.
  1011. >Of course, you're far from giving up, at least when it comes to escaping the bizarre trap.
  1012. >You swing once, aiming for the guard's head, and then you notice he's a unicorn.
  1013. >Your crowbar glows in your mouth, but you hold on with all of your strength, even as the aura picks you up and off of the ground.
  1014. >There's no hope of just forcing the thing out of his magical grasp, but it's plain to see just how distracted he's become from casting the continuous spell.
  1015. >Releasing your grasp, you fling your body at the guard and buck him in the side of the head, pushing him to the ground and knocking him out.
  1016. >Then, a very loud clattering noise assaults your ears as you and your namesake both hit the ground.
  1017. >Fortunately, since most ponies are still outside fighting each other, you're able to recover it and walk about before anypony else comes in.
  1018.  
  1019.  
  1020.  
  1021. Post 9: >>186830
  1022. >As you return to the main room, you see that the mayhem has actually began to crack the walls.
  1023. >Horseapples, the whole building could collapse at this rate.
  1024. >You have to duck under the violence as you move forward, as ponies maim each other with knives, hammers, and pitchforks.
  1025. >Whatever's going on, it looks like nopony's happy about it.
  1026. >Whatever's going on...
  1027. >Actually, that's a good question: is it really just that one group with a single dressed up warehouse that could cause all of this?
  1028. >It didn't seem likely to you.
  1029. >As you walk out the door, you see just how crowed the general area has become.
  1030. >What, was half of Canterlot dragged here to celebrate?
  1031. >Continuing to sneak away and avoid needless injury to yourself, you notice a loud convesation between two Royal Guards, one filled with lots of yelling.
  1032. >The one that's speaking right now is another unicorn, thought this time it's a mare.
  1033. >She speaks in the same authoritative tone that all the guards usually do, but with some incredulousness added in considering the subject at hoof.
  1034. >"So, you're telling me that all of this was only a distraction so the actual perpetrator could just rob a single bank?"
  1035. >Wait, what.
  1036. >The other one is a thestral stallion, who has a louder, angrier, and more frustrated tone.
  1037. >"Yes, absolutely, or this matter won't be settled!"
  1038. >The mare just forrows her brow as she listens.
  1039. >"What, and leave these ponies to riot in the streets?"
  1040. >The stallion simply shakes his head before responding.
  1041. >"Of course not. I know we need some guards here to keep the crowd controlled, but I need more to actually catch these ponies."
  1042. >The mare sighs, and her tone gains a shade of sarcasm.
  1043. >"Okay, alright, so tell me: who are these mystery masterminds that alone could orchestrate an event on this scale?"
  1044. >Suddenly, the batpony shouts loudly at her, louder than before at least, showing a slight bit of panic in his eyes.
  1045. >"Grah, I'm telling you, it was those three stallions! I know their faces like the back of my hoof, we just need to trail them and jail them!"
  1046. >You find yourself agreeing with the unicorn mare as she voices your thoughts for you.
  1047. >"Three ponies couldn't have possibly set up all of this by themselves. Three ponies don't just cause a riot on this scale for the sole purpose of robbing one bank."
  1048. >Their argument circles for a few minutes, but seeing as it covers no new topics, you begin to walk away.
  1049. >Whoever really did this, whether it were a huge mafia-like group as you expected, those three stallions, or even a less likely team, you'll definitely have to watch out for them in the future.
  1050. >...
  1051. >Be Anon, earlier that night, back in your room.
  1052. "That was insane and I loved it. How did you manage to redecorate that shed?"
  1053. >Screwball's chipper response swells with pride from your words.
  1054. >"Well, what else would I be doing all day?"
  1055. >You roll your eyes before offering a tease.
  1056. "What, when you're so insistant that I stop planning during the day time? Get outta here."
  1057. >You never expected to be in such a good mood after all of that, but it was amusing to see how much you could do just by telling a bunch of random ponies that the "bank" was going to be robbed when the sun sets.
  1058. >It had only been an hour since then.
  1059. >A bunch of the guards at the real bank had been pulled away to guard the farce, since whether it was a real bank or not, the local authorities weren't just going to ignore such a blatant criminal threat.
  1060. >Some fifteenish minutes later, and you had been carrying empty safes with Screwball through a secret passage into the back rooms, stuffed with thirty-ish notes total you made about how much of a sham your promises were.
  1061. >Screwball's response is just as teasing, not that you would have expected anything less.
  1062. >"Well excuse me, I had free time for the past thousand years. Now it's your turn, bucko!"
  1063. >As much as you'd love to continue that discussion, there is one last thing you want to do on this night.
  1064. >One thing that was bugging you throughout tonight's events.
  1065. "Alright, anyways I have to contact Discord real quick.
  1066. >She tries to ask you about what you want to ask him, but you just spout the usual prayer.
  1067. "O Discord, Great God of Chaos, I pray that thou shalt bless my soul with your words."
  1068. >Once again, the ever familiar feeling surrounds you, of someone sticking their nose right into your mind.
  1069. "Tonight, we set up dozens and dozens of ponies, a mix of likey criminals and likely guards, to all raid/investigate a single false bank set up by Screwball. My question is, just how much chaos is going to be needed to free you? Also, do you know why Screwball hasn't been able to contact you?"
  1070. >She 'hm's in thought, quite clearly and greatly interested in knowing the answer herself.
  1071. >Input response?
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