TIFU by letting out the most obnoxious sneeze in the history of conference calls

This happened 20 minutes ago as I write this. I’m a middle manager for a very well known international company. We are on a COVID-19 update call with our entire US sales organization with some very high level VPs, all directors and managers, all of our field level salespeople, and our US Chief Commercial Officer.

Before I dive into what I did, I’ll just share that I have a habit of trying to annoy my wife and make my kids (4 and 2) laugh by overemphasizing all of my bodily functions. For example I will yawn unnecessarily loud and say “aye aye aye aye” at the end or burp while simultaneously trying to say my ABC’s. (Annoying I know...my sense of humor is that of a 10 year old)

Back to the call. I always make it a point to mute myself immediately on any call. All of our calls are on Skype (audio only)  so you can see exactly who’s talking at any time. So this time, like usual, I hit mute when I joined the call.  Just as the facilitator was about to kick things off, I can hear my wife in the next room right as I feel a sneeze coming on. As loud as I can, I let out the loudest sneeze possible while simultaneously belting out “AAAACHOOOO-EEE-OOO-EEE-OOO-EEE-OOO-EEE-AHHHH...”  Satisfied that my wife is once again rolling her eyes through the wall, suddenly I hear my CCO say, in an unamused voice, “bless you” through the silence on the call. My heart stops while I silently start to pray that no one knew it is me. 5 seconds later the IMs start pouring in.  I’ve been found out.

Still listening to this call. Still horrified at what just transpired but I guess i’m thankful this one didn’t involved one of my patented fart/frog sound combinations.

TLDR: Karma caught up with me for always trying to annoy my wife by mysteriously unmuting my company Skype call while I let out the loudest, silliest sneeze of all time.

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