Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up,
it unlocks many cool features!
- English is my first language and I've been using mobile for years so any mistakes I make are because I'm dumb.
- I'm giving my sons a bath tonight, they are both toddlers, one and two years of age. They're wild in the bath, so it's always a struggle to get them both clean at the same time.
- I was sitting on the floor by the tub, washing their hair. I had the shampoo bottle sitting on the closed toilet seat next to me for ease of access.
- I got their hair washed, stood up and brushed myself off. Then went to sit on the toilet seat... With the shampoo bottle still there.
- Before I continue, this isn't some normal smoooooth shampoo bottle. This shampoo bottle has a pump that sticks out and sharp edges on the pump head.
- So I sat on the shampoo bottle, it tore through my leggings and scraped its way into my lady bits. I screamed like the dramatic bitch I am and jumped up and down while my sons laughed like this was some twisted game.
- The bottle came out with blood on it, but before I could check out the damage, a poop landed on me. My youngest had started to relieve himself and my oldest was throwing shit bombs at me like my youngest some some sort of sick pez dispenser. I had to pause my dramatics to deal with... All of that.
- So I pull them out and get them dressed, then tend to my injuries. I have a tear between my urethra and vagina as well as on my clitoral hood which will need stitches.
- Not as dramatic as some TIFU stories but I'm waiting for a doctor and had nothing better to do than tell my shame. Also, pretty sure no one believes the "I sat on a shampoo bottle" story I've been telling here.
- TL;DR not everything is a dildo if you're brave enough.
- ---------------------------------
- If you enjoy these, please donate:
- Tezos (XTZ) @ tz1RWPDoMABjLect6dkETjPWgva5SRMtWGVw
- Bitcoin (BTC) @ 38TM7xJnN4tV2U2La8bh5Rcu2muASkyQZn
- Ethereum (ETH) @ 0x6e9644FaD57F93b58573bAdEe3Cb0596F32C9852
- Litecoin (LTC) @ MUyMZejFyJsVpmZ5omg8yzh6nRQwhdQM5U
- Dogecoin (DOGE) @ DG82bQUFRTVyfkExwLwoSj8k6zQRoTCC6h
- Stratis (STRAT) @ SYWpro6QK8gbAfivNAkmiHy6wCuUs6qLjQ
- Dash (DASH) @ Xe6VHQi5DPdufsGSSWRg5ZmPkiU4oBxebQ
- PM me if you have any requests for content.
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
