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- So I had to make this account because friends who still have some respect for me know me on my other account.
- To begin I'm a 30 y/o married pretty regular guy nothing uncommon for us at this age, you'll get here!. So there I was me laying on my chair playing with my balls while looking at my phone (because who doesn't do that??) And I've recently started with a small external hemorrhoid problem but since we are in lockdown I went with the off-the-shelf meds to treat it while things go back to normal.
- So while playing with me balls I remember my hemorrhoid and decided to test out a bit of how's progressing and found it felt bigger than before so me being a dumbass decided to pull my pants down and use the light of my phone to help me see better.
- I started to move in to the pantless ridiculous demeaning shape of a pretzel to try and have a better look at my dark side and within maybe a minute in I hear my wife scream while sprinting from across the house "What the fuck are you doing!!" She got to the room quite quickly I would say not enough to allow me into a more presentable state.
- It was not until then that I realized that the las thing I was scrolling in my phone was Instagram and while I was trying to get into my pretzel shape I must have started streaming a fully illuminated view of my fingers and face trying to approach a nasty hemorrhoid right in the darkness of my knot.
- And yeah I don't do Instagram that often so they surely notified everyone who I know about what was going on, rest assure family, friends, co-workers (my CEO) and even people I have no idea who they are have seen parts about me that I'm not proud of.
- TL,DR:
- I accidentally streamed a live feed of me on Instagram going through my but while using my phone as a flashlight, took me a couple of minutes to find out, now I'm never going out again.
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