Hey dudes. Been feeling something w/r/t speedrunning for quite a while now but have been really feeling it in droves recently. I don't really consider myself an oldboy by any means, although I understand that the term is entirely relative depending on the person hearing it. I got into the hobby in the last half of 2012 w/ donkey and jurassic park, and really came into my own in it in mid-2013 with LADX. I mostly got into it via and primarily due to my buds in the 502 group and a handful of people I watched a lot as a stream-viewer who really convinced me that streaming/speedrunning could be a lot of fun and that it was something I wanted to pursue as a hobby. As time went on a lot of those people drifted off for w/e reasons (pursuing life primarily which isn't anything new for online networks/communities and obv. I wish them all nothing but the very best), but it's really been showing lately just how few of those people who initially made up such an integral part of this facet of my life remain and it's really saddening tbh. It's a really unique feeling of lonesomeness and alienation I can't really shake - feels weird and a bit sad to keep on keeping on when all the cool and influential people who brought me into this and inspiring me to stick with it are gone.

Obviously I know this is an inherent thing with internet communities and friendships, and speedrunning is far from my first online community, but it might be the first where the draw that keeps me with it is entirely due to the community. I don't think I'm alone in saying that the speedrunning community and connections you make in it are the best part about the hobby and (this is where I'll probably lose people) without the really awesome network of friends, streamers I looked up to, peers and viewers that I was very privileged and thankful to have in 2014/2015, I probably wouldn't have stuck with the hobby for more than a few months (only reason I got into LADX in the first place is a very good friend who's no longer around wanted me to learn it with him - someone I miss very much tbh). This isn't meant to poop on any of the new people in all the communities I'm a part of (502, Collective, LADX, etc.) - a lot of the newer people there I've been meeting are awesome, I'm just increasingly feeling out of my element as the bulk of the people that brought me into this hobby that found myself very attached to have disappeared and moved on.

This isn't to say I'm done w/ it or anything, I still have speed goals (some of which I'm p. excited to pursue and hope they go over well!) and even if speed dies I still enjoy streaming a lot. It just hit me really hard during our seasonal 502 marathon. idk I'm probably just clingy; I'm aware this phenomenon has common irl parallels, it's just something that has been weighing on me for a bit since I'm sentimental as heck.