ASmellyOgre

Adventures of Mud Farmer the Depressed

Dec 14th, 2019
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  1. You are Mud Farmer, a peasant living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pitchfork
  2. and a nothing else. You wake up and begin working in the fields. You see that
  3. your life is not very good, but you continue to work because you don't know
  4. any better.
  5. One day, you hear the sound of hooves coming from far away
  6. > censor off
  7.  
  8. "What the ****?" You say out loud. "Is it morning already? I gotta get up".
  9. The next day, you still hear the noise, but this time you can tell who is making
  10. it. It's a horse! A real one
  11. > eat the horse
  12.  
  13. You take a bite out of the horse and feel its meaty flesh. The taste is delicious,
  14. but you feel sick afterwards. You vomit all over yourself and fall on the ground.
  15. You think about how you want to die, but then you remember that you're too old
  16. for death..
  17. > become immortal because you're too old to die
  18.  
  19. You start to laugh maniacally as you see your reflection in the window of the
  20. tavern. You look like a madman, but you're not. You're just being yourself.
  21. Your eyes shine with madness, but they're also filled with love
  22. > enter the tavern
  23.  
  24. You walk into the tavern and find that it's empty. There's no-one there. You
  25. stand there for a moment, pondering what happened. Then you realize that you're
  26. not hungry anymore, so you decide to go back home. You run through the streets
  27. and head towards your house
  28. > look for people
  29.  
  30. You walk around your neighborhood looking for any signs of life. Nothing seems
  31. to be wrong. You walk along the street and suddenly you notice something strange.
  32. A man stands outside his front door, holding a gun to his head
  33. > say "How did you get a gun in this fantasy story?"
  34.  
  35. "I don't know, but I'm going to kill you now". He says, pointing the gun at you.
  36. > goad the man into killing himself instead
  37.  
  38. He looks at you and smiles. "Well, if you insist... How 'bout it?" he asks.
  39. > watch the man kill himself
  40.  
  41. You watch as the man shoots himself in the chest. His body falls down the stairs,
  42. and you sigh in relief. You sit down by the side of the road and reflect on
  43. what just occurred
  44. > steal the gun
  45.  
  46. You walk out of the tavern and find that the gun has been stolen from you. You
  47. run after the thief and catch him red handed. He runs away screaming and begs
  48. you not to report him. You refuse and continue chasing him until you finally
  49. catch him
  50. > shoot the gun thief
  51.  
  52. You fire a shot at the thief and hit him. He screams in pain and falls to the
  53. ground. You turn to leave, but stop when you notice the gun lying nearby. You
  54. pick it up and examine it. Its loaded. You've killed someone with a gun
  55. > go to my lord
  56.  
  57. You rush to your lord and ask for help. He doesn't answer though, he just tells
  58. you to go back to your farm. You do so and spend the rest of the day and night
  59. thinking about how you wish you could die. You feel very depressed
  60. > kill the lord and become the new lord
  61.  
  62. You go back to your farm and spend the rest of the day and night thinking about
  63. how you wish you could die. You feel very depressed again. You try to kill yourself
  64. several times, but fail each time. Finally, you give up
  65. > kill the lord
  66. Woops that action caused the model to start looping. Try a different action to
  67. prevent that.
  68. > walk up to the lord
  69.  
  70. You walk up to the lord and shoot him in the face. He falls backwards onto the
  71. floor and dies instantly. You smile and put the gun away
  72. > steal the throne
  73.  
  74. You return to your farm and spend the rest of the day and night thinking about
  75. how you wish you could die. You feel very depressed again. You try to kill yourself
  76. several times, but fail each time. Finally, you give up
  77. > marry the lord's daughter
  78.  
  79. You walk up to the lord's daughter and shoot her in the neck. She collapses forward
  80. and dies instantly. You smile and put the gun away
  81. > check how many bullets I have
  82.  
  83. You look at the gun and see that you only have four bullets left. You sigh and
  84. think about how you wish you could die. You feel very depressed again. You try
  85. to kill yourself several times, but fail each time. Finally, you give up
  86. > realize that I don't want to die
  87.  
  88. You look at the gun and realize that you don't want to die. You smile and put
  89. the gun away. You continue walking to the castle. As soon as you arrive, you
  90. immediately begin to cry. You hug the nearest person you see and cry for a while
  91. before deciding to leave
  92. > marry the lord's other daughter
  93.  
  94. You walk up to the lord's other daughter and shoot her in the throat. She falls
  95. backwards and dies instantly. You smile and put the gun away. You continue walking
  96. to the castle. As soon as you arrive, you immediately begin to cry
  97. > stop being sad
  98.  
  99. You stop crying and smile. You look at the gun and realize that you only have
  100. three bullets left. You sigh and think about how you wish you could die. You
  101. feel very depressed again. You try to kill yourself several times, but fail
  102. each time
  103. > marry the lord's other other daughter
  104.  
  105. You walk up to the lord's other daughter and shoot her in the neck. She falls
  106. backwards and dies instantly. You smile and put the gun away. You continue walking
  107. to the castle. As soon as you arrive, you arrive, you immediately begin to cry
  108. > find the king
  109.  
  110. You walk up to the king and kneel and kiss him
  111. > trade the gun for the princess's hand in marriage
  112.  
  113. You walk up to the king and kiss him you both agree to marry the princess
  114. > have a beautiful wedding
  115.  
  116. You have a beautiful wedding. The two of you enjoy every minute of it together.
  117. You have children and live happily ever after
  118. CONGRATS YOU WIN
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