Don't Play an RPG Called "Exalted"

Don’t play an RPG called “Exalted.”

Man, this shit is SO wrong on SO many motherfucking levels, yo.

I was talking to one of my D&D friends and he sent me three PDFs with the names only reading “Exalted”.

I said to this dude, “What’s this shit?”

He just giggled and said, “Just read them and make sure NOBODY IS AROUND WHEN YOU’RE READING IT.”

I thought it was some weird Erotica RPG or some Japanese shit, but as I continued reading it I was like…

“Yoooooo… what the fuck?”

Then it CONTINUED and I was like… “YOOOOOOO….”

THEN THERE WAS THE UNCONQUERED SUN AND I WAS LIKE “YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

I couldn’t fucking believe what I just saw. It was like the Yozis had written up a ruleset; shit was so disturbing…

YET I COULDN’T STOP READING IT.

AND THEN I FORMED AN RPG GROUP WITH A FEW FRIENDS

THOSE NIGGAS

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

AND THEN WE BROUGHT IN A SIDEREAL AND THEN…

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THEN I WAS PLAYING AS A SOLAR ZENITH ARCHER MEDIC AND I WAS LIKE…

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It was like your bitch wanted to play board games with you, but she wanted to do something ‘different’; it was so
fucked up and crazy and you just… kept… PLAYING IT

AND THAT’S WHAT I FUCKING DID

Then we reached session three, niggas, THREE. IT WAS THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

AND LUNA WAS HER MOTHERFUCKING NAME… LUNA WAS HER MOTHERFUCKING NAME!!!

OH SOL

I AIN’T GOING TO HEAVEN, NIGGAS; I ALREADY SOLD MY SOUL TO THE  YOZIS

So I just want to tell you all, right now… DON’T PLAY AN RPG CALLED “EXALTED”. DON’T DO IT, NIGGA. IT’S LIKE…
SUCCUBUS!

REMEMBER WHAT I’M SAYING TO YOU