The Real Karm

Credit for writing this goes to Spiritcurse, because awesomeness like this cannot come from such a depraved mind as mine.

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May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Karm please wake up?
I repeat, will the real Karm please wake up?
We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a keyblader before
Jaws all on the floor like the sun god just burst in the door
and started whoopin ass worse than before
they first used force, throwin them over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
Conjack didn't just kill what I think he did, did he?"
And Sandy said... nothing you idiots!
Sandy's dead, his eye's on my pendant! (Ha-ha!)
Medical women love Karm
[*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*]
"Karm, I'm sick of him
Look at him, recovering, grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of points up in my sheet lose loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in Konoka's bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get in combat and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool for Conjack to psyk a contact
"My snake is in your mind, my snake is in your mind"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give in to darkness
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what violence is
Of course they gonna know what violence is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut deiim open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
But if we can kill demigods and space bugs
then there's no reason that a god and a little healer can't elope
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I need the antidote
Medics wave your healer guns, sing the chorus and it goes

[Chorus: Karm (repeat 2X)]

'Cause I'm Karm, yes I'm the real Karm
All you other Karms are just imitating
So won't the real Karm please stand up,
please wake up, please wake up?

[Karm]
Well Dark don't gotta swing in his fights to melt his foes;
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about an innate attack?
Half of you mobs can one shot me, not just challenge me
"But Karm, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just minmax to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Nodoka and Eva?
Shit, Eva better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Conjack and that italian assassin
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on a drip in A+E
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's gonna need surgery, hee-hee!"
I should download their statlines on the pastebin
and show the whole world how you gave Karm shite skills [AHHH!]
I'm sick of you little bugs and gods, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
And there's a million of us just like me
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and fight like me
and just might be the next worst thing but not quite me!

[Chorus]

[Karm]
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get in the fight and hit it
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just can't finish it
worse than ninety percent of you fighters out can
Then you wonder how can bugs eat up these hits like they got massive DR
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin home fighting
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm trying to get myself talking
And I'm healing but this whole bag of morphine isn't working
And every single person is a Karm lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
with his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Karm please wake up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your depth and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

[Chorus 4X]

[Karm]
Ha ha
Guess there's a  Karm in all of us
Fuck it, let's all wake up