i’m not sure if you still visit this site, and if you do, i’m not sure if you’ll even read this and that’s okay. if you do, all i can really do is give you the sincere apology that you deserve even if it’s years late. i’m sorry for being such a trash human being to you when you gave me nothing but love and support. the feelings were always the same toward you and i sure had a weird way of showing it considering the amount of times i fucked up, offended you, made you cry etc. a big flaw of mine was that i just couldn’t own up to when i made mistakes and instead, i blamed you or brushed it off as if it were nothing. i’m sorry for taking you for granted, for not apologizing this way earlier and ultimately making you resent me. you were always so nice to me and put so much faith in me and i completely let you down. the words “i feel like i can’t be a very good girlfriend to you right now” have stuck with me ever since you said them because it shows just how nice you are, even if you said you’ve become colder. because it was never really you that was the problem. why am i putting this in a subtweet thread? because i’m too nervous to apologize to you for things i did years ago. randomly, after i’ve already attempted to befriend you twice. both times i bailed. sorry for that too. both times you were open to friendship (though my nervousness came from it feeling forced and me feeling bad). it’s been eating away at me for a very long time so it’s good i’m writing this out. the best thing that came out of you leaving was me recognizing the reasons why you left. realizing my wrongs throughout the time we spent together and working on them gradually. today i feel a lot better about who i am and the way i will carry myself with others. friend or lover. i have you to thank for that. even if we never cross paths as friends again, i hope that you will forgive every time i made you sad,  made you cry, or broke your heart.
you cross my mind fairly often and i pray you’ve been happy and healthy. sorry this was so long. it could honestly be longer but who’s to say you’ll even read this in the first place. even if you no longer do, i’ll always care about you, old friend. the happy moments we shared are moments i’ll cherish forever and ever. i wouldn’t be writing this more than a year after you stopped talking to me if i didn’t care.

take care of yourself,

cam