Meme Magic Anon in Equestria

>"Anon, you can't use magic!"
>"Twilight, I have acquired meme magic from Lord Kek, which is far more powerful than anything you conceive, for it is the ability to alter the course of history itself."
>"Impossible battles can be won, no matter how stacked the odds may seem."
>"Every great leader in the human world throughout history had worshiped Kek at some point, it was only when they stopped believing in him that their influence over the world begin to wane."
>"Meme magic reflects the strength of a person's will to influence events, to influence society, and to influence the world."
>"That sounds like a load of nonsense to me, anon!"
>"Very well then, I challenge you to a magical duel tomorrow. If I win, you must acknowledge the power of Lord Kek and worship him instead of Celestia."
>"And if I win?" Twilight asks
>"Then you can study my race as much as you'd like, since you seem so curious about me."

>After the debacle with Twigglehorse, you sit down on a grassy field just on the outskirts of Ponyville and contemplate how you will defeat this extremely powerful alicorn sorceress.
>Besides Kek himself, there are several subordinate ascendant ones that answer only to him.
>There is Bane, the enforcer, the paragon of strength and endurance, and is one hell of a big guy.
>There is Moon Man, the inquisitor, the paragon of zeal and ferocity.
>There is Donald Trump, the commander of Kek's heavenly forces, the paragon of indomitable will and the will to power
>Lastly, there is Pepe, head of Kek's psi ops division, and is a deadly wizard and telepath unmatched by any
>You are capable of tapping into any of their powers through the will of Kek himself
>You decide to tap into the powers of Pepe, as this is a "conventional" magic duel and any of Kek's more abstract powers may very well confuse the ponies more than anything.
>You still have the rest of the day to prepare yourself for tomorrow, so you begin practicing your abilities.
>You try casting a transfiguration spell on one of the trees on the outskirts of the Everfree Forest
>"Shit, what should I try?"
>"Hmm, horse world...an apple I guess?"
>You fire a green ball of magic from your fingertips and it hits the tree, transfiguring it into an apple
>You practice more of your abilities until you feel confident you'll stand a chance against Twiggles.
>"Wonderful, I think I'm ready for whatever Purple throws at me, I can feel it in my very soul."
>It is already nightfall, so you decide to retire and commune with your Lord
>Oh wait, you don't have a house, you dipshit
>"Hmm, I could try creating one of my own design..or perhaps ask one of the ponies if they'd be willing to have me?"
>You decide to ask Moon Man for his wisdom on the subject, as you are too tired to directly commune with Kek himself
>You close your eyes and open the mental link
>You hear what sounds like a computer-generated voice greet you.
>"Sup, fag. Here to lynch some mudponies and ziggers?"
>"Uhh no, I was actually just planning to ask you how I should obtain shelter for tonight."
>"You should just steal it from a mudpony, a griffon, or any of those other degenerates. Here, I'll even lend you my AKKK-47."
>Suddenly an AK-47 with a silver finish materializes next to you.
"Uhh, I'd rather not resort to murder or extortion, here. My job is to convert people to Kekism, not kill them."
>"Have it your way, fag. Just don't cry to me when a mudpony or a zigger rapes your waifu. Moonman, out."
>The AK-47 disappears and it appears you're on your own here.

>Since you're near the Everfree Forest, you decide to ask Fluttershy if she'd be willing to let you stay the night
>You knock on her cottage's door
>"Just a second please!"
>She opens the door and gasps when she sees your towering form (to her at least).
>"O-oh hey anon, I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon!"
>"Hey Fluttershy, mind if I stay with you tonight? I kinda don't have a house or anything."
>You notice her blush for a moment and then quickly compose herself
>"Uhhh..."
>You notice her staring at you up and down
>You wave a hand in front of her face
>"Yooo Equestria to Fluttershy, are you there?"
>"Wha..oh yeah, sure thing, anon!" she says almost nervously.
>"What a weird friggen horse." You think to yourself.

>You prepare to go to sleep on the couch when suddenly you feel a hoof prod you in the leg
>"Yes, what is it, Fluttershy?"
>"I-instead of sleeping on that cold couch why don't you sleep in my bed instead?"
>"Uhh ok, but where are you gonna sleep then?"
>"Well...."
>You notice her blush again
>"Goddamnit Fluttershy, are you trying to get into my pants or something?"
>"I have no idea what that means but that sounds kinda hot..."
>"You are one lewd horse, you know that."
>"Fine, I'll sleep in your bed, but nothing sexual, you weirdo."
>"O-of course not!"
>"Fine, let's go then."
>You climb into the bed next to Fluttershy and you hear her making weird horse noises.
>"Cut it out already."
>"It's not my fault I have a fetish for big strong stallions like yourself!"
>She moves closer to you and begins feeling up your chest with her hooves
>"Kek, what have I gotten myself into?" you think to yourself.
>You pull her into a hug so she stops doing weird shit
>"Now keep your hooves to yourself, ok."
>"U-unf." you hear her whisper.
>Eventually Fluttershit stop being weird and appears to fall asleep with a happy smile on her face.
>"Fucking finally." You think to yourself.
>You eventually nod off as well.
>When you wake up the next morning it appears that Fluttershy is still asleep with your arms wrapped around her.
>"Oh good." you think to yourself. "Time to get the fuck outta here."
>As you prepare to leave, you suddenly hear Fluttershy call out to you.
>"W-wait, I can make you breakfast or something!" you hear her say desperately.
>"Uhh no fucking way, you'd probably put some kind of sedative in it."
>You leave through the door and make your way towards Ponyville.
>It's time to shine, baby.
>You feel the determination coursing through your veins.
>You're gonna make Papa Kek proud today.
>You eventually reach Ponyville Square where there is already a crowd of ponies gathered to see their princess duel that weird ape-man that showed up yesterday.
>Directly ahead of you is Princess Bookhorse herself, with a smug look on her face.
>"Ah, there you are anon, I thought you got lost!" she says mockingly.
>"Save the trash talking for after this is over with." you say to her bluntly.
>"You can't possibly hope to best me, anon. I'm an alicorn, for crying out loud!"
>"Indeed, you are very powerful, but underestimating an opponent is never a smart idea, regardless of your own strength."
>"We'll just have to see about that, anon. This is your last chance to back out by the way. I'm not going to hold back just because you're out of your depth."
>"No, I made a commitment and I'll see it through."
>Twilight sighs. "All right then anon, let's go!"

>The crowd parts and makes sure to keep a safe distance from the two of you as you circle around one another, daggers in both of your eyes.
>Twilight begins closing her eyes as her horn lights up with a purple glow
>Suddenly a purple ball of light appears in front of her then rapidly begins approaching your position
>"Shit, must be a magic missile." You think to yourself.
>You close your eyes and try to focus on the magic missile, in an attempt to divert its trajectory back towards Twilight instead of you.
>"I'm getting a bit rusty at this."
>With enough mental strain, you manage to reach into the fabric of reality itself in order to reflect the attack back at her.
>"W-what the?!" Twilight says, stunned at her own attack not only being ineffective, but also hurtling towards her at an alarming speed.
>Just before the attack connects with her, she manages to teleport away.
>The attack instead hits a nearby bystander, a grey pegasus with bubbles on her flank, knocking her out cold.
>"Blasted horse magic." You think to yourself as you begin to look around for her new location.
>You spot her panting just a few meters away from where she was before.
>"Gave you a good scare, didn't I?"
>"H-how the buck did you do that?" she says exasperatedly
>"This shouldn't be possible!"
>"You know I thought you'd be smart enough to not underestimate a foe without studying them beforehand, Princess Sparkle." you say to her smugly.
>"But I scanned you with a spell, you don't have any magic whatsoever!"
>"Do you think I'd be silly enough to reveal my power level?"
>"Well technically it isn't MY magic anyway, it's merely being borrowed from an external source, the deity known as Kek."
>"That sounds...quite absurd..really." Twilight says.
>"That magic attack I used before was one of my weakest spells, an attempt to incapacitate you at best."
>"I lied when I said I wasn't going easy on you, because I truly believed you were full of horseapples, and didn't want to embarrass you too badly."
>Twilight begins charging another spell
>"I won't make the same mistake again."
>"I hate being target practice." you think to yourself.
>This time you focus on pre-emptively interrupting her spell so it ends up backfiring on her.
>"Kek, grant me the will to end this battle."
>You remove a pair of dice from your pocket and throw them towards the ground.
>It's a pair of boxcars, you got dubs.
>Suddenly, Twilight's horn begins to spark and fizzle, and the spell she was planning to use on you ends up affecting her instead.
>When the smoke clears, in Twilight's place is a...frozen Twilight.
>Clearly she was planning on using a cryo spell on you this time.
>"At least she finally chilled the fuck out." you say.
>A few ponies boo at your terrible joke, the rest are shocked at how you managed to defeat one of the most powerful ponies in Equestria just by being a lazy jackass.
>"Don't worry, I can fix this....probably." you say in an attempt to calm them down.
>You approach Twi-cicle and contemplate how to free her from the ice cube she is currently trapped in.
>"Shit uhh..."
>You focus on the ice cube and try to imagine it thawing it before your very eyes.
>For good measure you think of shitty ice-related puns.
>After about 10 seconds or so, the ice around Twilight begins to melt, leaving a soaked, and shivering Twilight.
>"I always knew I'd get the mares wet."
>"Shit, you don't look too good."
>Indeed, Twilight looked like she was about to keel over at any second.
>Quickly, you remove your suit's jacket and wrap it around Twilight.
>"Hang in there Twi, I'm not gonna let you get hurt over some stupid bet."
>"At least it's warm out today." you think to yourself.
>For good measure, you pick up Twilight and hold her close to your chest.
>"Cmon damnit, don't die."
>"A-anon?" Twilight says to you weakly.
>"Twilight?"
>"T-thanks for helping me."
>"Uhh any time."
>Well this is awkward.
>"Uhh want me to take you back to your place or?"
>"That'd be... great."
>As you walk to the castle with Twigglehorse in your arms, you notice her looking up at your face and quickly blushing and turning away when she realizes you noticed it.
>"This again?" You think to yourself.
>You reach the castle's door and knock on it several times.
>"Just a minute!" yells a somewhat high-pitched voice.
>Spike opens the door and looks a bit surprised.
>"Oh hey...Anon...and Twilight?"
>"Long story." you dismissively say to him.
>"I need to get her to her bed, she may or may not have frozen herself in a block of ice."
>"Uhhh...sure, it's just down the hall and to the left." the dragon points out to you.

>You follow Spike's directions and enter Twilight's room.
>As you tuck Twilight into her bed, you notice her apprehensive expression.
>"Is anything else bothering you, Twilight?" you say to her.
>"How can you be so nice to me after what I tried to do to you?" she says almost angrily.
>"I don't understand what you mean? We agreed to a duel and you did everything in your power to beat me." you respond
>"Yes but that ice spell was no joke, anon. You could've been seriously injured or killed!"
>"I-I made a mistake, I got scared by what you did and nearly took an innocent life in the process."
>You better try to calm her down.
>"Twilight, you made a mistake, I don't hold anything against you.
>"But I'm supposed to be a princess, a model individual! Everyone is counting on me to not make mistakes!"
>Twilight begins hyperventilating.
>"Simple words aren't working here." you think to yourself.
>You move back towards the bed and pull Twilight into a hug.
>"Everything is fine, I'm not angry at you." you say to comfort her.
>Eventually Twilight's breathing begins to normalize and you release her from your grip.
>"I guess I was right about you anon."
>"Hmm?"
>"You really do have a good heart."
>"The whole reason why I agreed to this stupid fight in the first place was because I wanted to learn more about you."
>"Ever since the day you showed up I've been completely fascinated by you...and I don't know why...."
>"You're just so...different. The way you carry yourself, it's like you have no fears or doubts in your mind, I envy you."
>"I wish I could go a day without constantly worrying about everything that could go wrong..."
>"She kind of reminds me of...myself before I discovered Lord Kek and finally felt at peace with the world." you ponder to yourself.
>"Maybe I can help you, remember what I said about what happens if I win the duel?"
>"Yeah, I have to worship this weird 'Kek' thing you keep talking about now."
>"Well, perhaps not worship, but I can at least show you how he managed to make me into the person I am today."
>"You'd really do that?" Twilight asks.
>"Of course, all I ask in return is that you provide me a room to stay at your castle in return."
>"O-of course anon!" Twilight says as her cheeks take on a rosy hue.
>"Great, thanks."
>Just before you leave her room you spin around.
>"Oh one last thing."
>"Yeah anon?"
>"Twilight...do you...like me?"
>Twilight's entire face turns bright crimson.
>"Y-you idiot, get outta here already!"
>Suddenly you get thrown out of Twilight's room by her magic and she promptly slams the door shut.
>"Hehe, score."

>You dust yourself and think for a moment.
>Might as well talk to Spike since you got nothin' better to do.
>You go back down the hall and go to the library where you see Spike sorting books.
>"Hey little dude, Twilight wants me to be her therapist or something, so I'm gonna be crashing with you guys for a bit."
>"Huh, she has been pretty stressed out as of late."
>"You know what you're doing, right, anon?"
>"Yeah, I'm a professional!"
>You show him your B.A. in memes you received from Kekistan University.
>"Uhhh...memes?"
>"It's uhh..an advanced field of therapy, yeah!"
>Flawless lie, anon
>"So anyway Spike, is anything troubling you as well? I don't mind helping out while I'm here."
>"Nah...not really.."
>"You don't have to lie to me Spike, I can tell you're troubled by something."
>"You won't tell anyone right?"
>"I take my job seriously, I won't disclose any personal information."
>"Alright fine, it's just I'm...kinda having an existential crisis here."
>Isn't this kid like 7 years old? How does he even know what that means?
>"Ever since that dragon lord incident, I've been having some serious internal debates with myself."
>"How so?"
>"I mean I...what if I'm not meant to live with ponies, but rather with my own kind?"
>Wew lad, this is getting deep
>"Your choices are your own Spike, but remember, being a dragon does not define who you are."
>"Just because other dragons find it difficult to cooperate with those around them, it doesn't mean you have to follow in their footsteps."
>"Thanks anon...but it's not just that..."
>"Hmm?"
>"While we were in the dragon lands, there was this other dragon we met. Her name was Ember, and she was...beautiful.
>"Ever since Twilight and I arrived in Ponyville, I've pined after Rarity...but, after that day, she paled in comparison."
>"I don't know anon, I can't help but feel that the whole reason I liked Rarity in the first place was simply due to never really encountering my own kind before then, like living in a dark cave your entire life and just recently seeing the sunlight for the first time."