When Worlds Collide 2

>"Close your mouth, sweetie."
>"Yes daddy."
>"And don't put your elbows on the table."
>"Yes daddy."
>Before you had met Anonymous, you honestly had no idea what to expect
>A part of you thought you were going to meet a man out of the storybooks
>Someone that could pull a sword out of a stone or fight off an army with nothing but a stick and determination
>You had no idea WHY
>You weren't anything special and you had made a pretty comfortable life for yourself in your Equestria
>Maybe you just thought that his Equestria was a darker place than yours
>Maybe it was the nerd in you; the one that had spent his childhood reading about strong, larger than life characters finding themselves in different worlds
>Whatever the case, Anon wasn't a giant of a man
>He didn't look particularly special or athletic or anything like that
>He just looked like a normal, average guy that you could have met on the street back on Earth
>...All except that scar on his forehead, the little filly in his lap, and the other one sitting in a baby seat next to Beta-Equus's Princess Celestia
>The scar was an unsettling thing to look at
>Though none of you had mentioned it--out of politeness more than anything--it looked for all the world like someone had carved it with a knife
>The kids were a different matter altogether
>A very, VERY different matter
>They were Princess Dawn and Princess Radiance, daughters of Beta-Equus's Celestia and Anon here
>They weren't adopted, they weren't found, and they didn't become what they were through magical means
>They were BORN
>The princess and Anon conceived these two little adorable fillies


>Which should have been impossible...
>A human couldn't get a pony pregnant...
>You were too genetically different, and no amount of magic could fix that
>You knew that, along with your wives and your friends and anyone that had taken high school biology
>But here two little impossibilities sat with you at the table that princesses had laid out, one of them eating some mushy baby food and the other eating hay nuggets
>Living, breathing, half-breed alicorns
>Since Beta-Equus's Twilight hadn't told you about the fillies, seeing them had thrown you all for a loop
>It was like knowing that Santa Claus wasn’t real for all of your life but then you meet him out of nowhere
>None of you knew what to do or how to act
>Twilight, who hadn't been able to sit still for the last two days, was sitting quietly next to you
>While Rainbow and Applejack and the others were conversing with their identical counterparts, you could see them eyeing the kids with looks of awe and disbelief
>Princess Celestia and Princess Luna hadn't said a single word since all of you had sat down for dinner
>Luna was doing her best not to stare but Princess Celestia was openingly staring at the two fillies with an unreadable look on her face, ignoring the food in front of her completely
>Beta-Equus’s ponies didn’t seem to be doing any better
>You could tell that your unease was making them nervous
>Beta-Equus’s Twilight was looking around the room as if she thought someone was hiding somewhere
>Their Luna was keeping an eye on both the windows and the doors
>The only ponies who seemed completely at ease were the Pinkie Pies, who were telling each other knock-knock jokes and laughing hysterically, your Lyra, who was doing her best to eat all of the gourmet bread at the table, Anon and the other Celestia, who were busy making sure their daughters were eating, and the little girls themselves
>You shifted in your seat, trying, and failing, to focus on the delicious meal in front of you
>The tension was so thick in the air you could have cut into it with your butter knife
>You could tell that anyone in the room had questions
>How did it happen?
>What did they do to make it work?
>Did Discord have something to do with it?
>Was it the work of the elements of harmony?
>The list went on and on, and the more questions that came to mind, the more frustrated you became
>And, though it was a little petty, you couldn’t help but think, in the back of your mind, how unfair it was
>You knew that Rainbow didn't want kids, but Twilight had always talked about having a big family
>And Lyra, while she didn't talk about it often, had always wanted a few children of her own
>But you couldn't...
>No matter what any of you did, your seed couldn't, and wouldn’t, take
>The three of you had started talking about artificial insemination, but privately, that didn't sit very well with you


>If your girls wanted it you'd support them all the way, and you'd love those kids more than anything else in their world, but the very thought of it made you feel like failure
>Like your girls would have been better off finding someone more compatible...
>Someone that they didn't need to jump through hoops for to start a family...
>"Daddy, can I have more ketchup please?" Dawn asked, looking up at her dad, her little horn poking his chest
>"Of course you can, honey," Anon said, reaching over and grabbing the red bottle in front of him
>Giving it a little shake, he turned it over and squeezed a healthy amount of ketchup onto the filly's plate
>Dawn's eyes lit up at the sight of it
>"Thank you, daddy!" she said with a happy wiggle
>"You're very welcome my little girl," Anon said, setting his ketchup bottle down as the filly grabbed a nugget and dunked it into the red substance. "Remember not to get it all over your face."
>"Okay daddy!"
>Running a hand through his daughter's mane, he looked over at your side of the table
>On either side of you, you could see your friends tensing as his gaze traveled from pony to pony
>Eventually it settled on Lyra, who had just finished her fifth basket of bread
>...
>Maybe you should start cutting her off…?
>Five baskets was a bit too much...
>"So I hear you're some kind of kung fu master, Ms. Heartstrings."
>Lyra's golden eyes lifted from the table to look at the prince
>"Nopony can truly master anything, so I'm not a master per se," she said, wiping the bread crumbs from her lips with the back of her hoof. "But I have studied my art enough to gain the title of grandmaster."
>Anon whistled as he picked up a napkin and cleaned his daughter's face off
>"Really? That's truly something," he said, before letting out a chuckle
>"Is there something funny?" Lyra asked curiously, reaching for another basket of bread


>"I just think that it’s kinda funny you're a grandmaster at some martial art while our Lyra back home can barely walk down a street without tripping over her hooves," Anon replied, a smile coming to his face
>"So your Lyra isn't a student of fighting?"
>"Nope. That mare doesn't have the attention span or the gumption for it."
>Lyra raised an eyebrow
>"Really?"
>Anon chuckled again, running his fingers through his little girl’s hair
>"One time I saw her drop a hay smoothie. She was absolutely devastated when that thing hit the ground. It took Bonbon ten minutes to calm her down."
>That got a chuckle out of your wife
>"She sounds like a character. I think I'd like to meet my other self."
>"If you want the ol' wife and me could take you down to our Ponyville. We'd probably be able to pass you off as her long lost sister or something like that."
>Dawn perked up
>"Daddy, can I go down to Ponyville too? Pleasepleaseplease?" she asked
>Anon wiped her face with his napkin again
>"And why do you want to go down there, huh little missy?" he asked, giving her stomach a poke. "What, do you have a little boyfriend down there that you're not telling me about?"
>Dawn giggled, pushing her father's hand away
>"Daddy, stooooop! I don't have a boyfriend! Boys are gross!"
>Anon tickled her harder, using a leg to keep her from jumping off his lap
>"Oh? You think your old man's gross then?"
>"Stooooop!"
>"You think your dad is gross do ya? Well, I'll show you!"
>Dawn squirmed and wiggled as she laughed and laughed until tears were streaming down her face
>A smile came to your face at the sight, as it came to the faces of everyone else in the room
>Even the guards, usually living statues, were wearing small grins
>Finally, after a good two minutes of tickling Anon stopped and released his daughter who, still laughing, leapt from his lap and ran toward her mother



>Beta-Equus's Princess Celestia, who had a smile a mile wide on her face, swept little Dawn into her hooves and pulled her into a hug
>"Mommy, mommy! Daddy's being mean!" the little filly cried, burying her face into her mother's chest fur
>"Oh, my poor little girl," Princess Celestia cooed, nuzzling the top of her head. "Your father really is a tickle monster huh?"
>Dawn lifted her face from the princess's tuft to look up at her
>"Uh-huh! And he's a butt too!" she said with a nod, which had you all laughing
>Celestia grinned, wrapping her wings around her little girl
>"Now, now, don't call your father a butt, honey. You know that isn't nice."
>She nuzzled Dawn's neck, causing her to giggle
>"Especially when your mom's just as big of a tickle monster as he is."
>Dawn's eyes widened, and you could see her trying to push back against Princess Celestia's wings, but it was already too late
>With her trap sprung, the princess began nuzzling her daughter's neck rigorously, causing her to burst out laughing again
>When Dawn covered her neck with both hooves she simply picked up her up and blew raspberries on her belly
>"Momma stop!"
>"Who's my little tickle girl?"
>"Moooooom!"
>"Who's my little tickle girl?"
"Mo--"
>Amidst the laughter, you could hear a chair being pushed back
>Looking over, you saw your Princess Celestia making her way to her hooves
>She looked almost deathly pale even through that white coat of hers, and there was a haunted look in her eyes
>Everyone looked over at her in surprise and confusion
>Even little Radiance stopped eating her baby food to look at her
>"I apologize, but I just remembered that I had something very important to see to," Celestia said emotionlessly, taking a step away from the table
>It was a cautious step, you noticed, almost like she was... afraid of something


>The alicorn thickly swallowed, doing her best to look everywhere but at the other Celestia and her little girl, before bowing her head
>"Please eat to your heart's content. If you wish to stay the night, Luna would be more than happy to make accommodations for all of you. Now, if you’ll excuse me"
>She took another step back, her wings ruffling against her sides
>Having a pegasus for a wife, you knew what that meant
> She was uncomfortable, anxious...
>...
>What had gotten into her?
>You had never seen the princess act like this
>Hell, if you weren’t seeing it with your own two eyes, you would have said that she wouldn’t act like this no matter what...
>Before you could think further on it, however, the princess spun around and made her way out of the room
>She wasn't exactly running, but you could clearly see how much she wanted to
>You all watched her go, the tension in the air giving way to confusion
>"Hon, watch Radiance with that spoon. She's about to smack you with it," Anon said, his blue eyes thoughtful as he watched the princess’s retreat

~_~_~_~_~_~

"--And her coat is a bit bluer. And you see how her wings are a bit longer at the tips than our Rainbow?"
>Lero frowned, watching as his wife and your Rainbow talked to each other about fast horse things
>"...Not really," he said. "They both look the same to me."
>Raising an eyebrow, you took a sip of your alcoholic beverage
>It wasn't any of Applejack's cider, thank Christ, but it wasn't any of that good whiskey you had back home
>Still, it was good enough to sip as you watched everyone talk and mingle with each other
>Since this world's Celestia had ran off during dinner and still hadn't returned, Twilight had picked up her old mentor's slack


>She had herded you all into this room, she had gotten you all comfortable and liquored up
>She was even nice enough to get pillows and blankets for your little ones


>Said kids were lying down on the other side of the room fast asleep and being watched over by the two Shining Armors, who were holding their little girls and chatting to each other
>You and Lero were sitting at the far end of the room, getting acquainted with each other
>For the past hour and a half the two of you had been talking
>Where you were from, how you had met your loved ones, how life in horseland was treating you
>The more that the two of you talked the more you found out just how different your worlds were
>It baffled you to the highest degree that his Rainbow had managed to talk him into herding
>Because the Rainbow you knew was an idiot
>You loved the girl to death, but someone that didn’t have the common sense NOT to sell her friend into slavery for a book really couldn’t be considered the sharpest tool and ANY shed
>You also didn't understand why he stopped eating meat "to make ponies more comfortable"
>You've seen diamond dogs and gryphons eat meat in front of ponies all of the time and none of them batted an eyelash
>When you lived in Ponyville there used to be a butcher shop!
>Your own fucking wife was known to eat pork when it was in front of her!
>Lero, on his end, didn't get why your Celestia hadn't insisted on herding with other ponies
>He was also confused when you had told him about the butcher shop and your wife’s dietary habits
>Only pegasi ate any kind of meat, he had said, and that was just fish
>His ponies also had a bad habit of being scared of anything that wasn’t a pony
>From what you gathered, ol' Lero here had a bit of trouble fitting in when he first found himself in Equestria


>You could tell that it was a bit of a sore spot for him, so you decided not to pry too much
>Instead, you and Lero decided to play a little game of guess which pony was from your world
>Lero, to your surprise, was pretty shit at the game
"Really? They both look the same to you?" you asked, leaning back into your chair. "What about the Luna's? Can you tell them apart?"
>Lero leaned forward, staring at both Luna's
>Several seconds passed before he shook his head
>"No, I can't tell."
"Really?"
>"Yeah. I have no idea how you can tell the difference. They look exactly alike to me."
>Looking over at the Luna's, you scratched your chin
>While both of them looked similar, you could see their differences easily enough
>Your Luna was a bit bigger than his, and her horn was a little longer
>Their mane and tail colored were also slightly different, and his Luna's cutie mark hung a little lower than yours
>And that just wasn't Luna either
>All of the girls looked different from each other
>Luna, Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, Cadence, even Dash over there
>Lero knew each and every one of them, even slept with a few of them
>He should be able to tell who’s who...
>At least he should have been able to tell the Rainbow's apart...
"I think you might be blind, my man," you said, taking another sip of your drink
>Lero shrugged
>"I've always had trouble telling ponies apart," he replied
>A harrumph escaped you as he smiled
“You have trouble with other ponies then?” you asked. “Not just the ones that look like each other?”
>”If they have the same coat and mane color and I can’t see their cutiemarks then I’m usually in trouble,” he told you
>As he looked over at the Twilight's, you looked into his eyes
>...
>Huh...
>He looked back at you, prompting you to look away
>"So how long's it been?" he asked

>...
>Too easy...
"Well, that's a hell of a question to ask a guy that you just met, but me and the missus had ourselves a bit of fun a few days ago," you said matter-of-factly
>Lero immediately stiffened
>"No, no, no! I-I did--"
>Laughing, you slapped him on the back
"Easy there big guy. I was just teasing."
>Heh...
>He walked right into that one...
>Hiding his relief behind a smile, Lero gave you a playful shove
>"I meant how long have you been in your Equestria!”
>Your grin diminished somewhat
"How long have I been in horseland huh?" you muttered, looking down into your glass
>That was a pretty good question...
>Just how long HAD it been...?
>Swirling your drink, you thought back
>Dawn was nearly six...
>You started dating Celestia almost three years before your little one came into the world...
"...Almost ten years I think," you said
>Lero’s eyes widened
>"Ten years?" he said, obviously surprised
>You nodded
"Yeah. Ten years. I think I had just gotten out of high school."
>You had been a punk back then...
>Your parents had wanted you to go to college to become a doctor or something, but you didn’t want to spend anymore time in school
>Twelve years was enough, thank you very much
>So, the genius that you were, you had decided to start looking for work
>Unfortunately...
>For months you had looked for a job and come up empty-- the recession was hitting really hard back then-- you hadn’t even been able to get something at McDonalds
>You had been forced to stay at home and live off of your parent’s good graces
>It had been so bad that you had been considered going to school, if to just get out of the house
>But the week before you were supposed to go check out one of your local colleges one of your buddies had come to you with a business proposition
>...
>Heh...
>Even after all of these years you could still remember the look on your mom's face when you told her you were working as an editor for a girl cam sex site...
>...
>God did your dad laugh his ass off...


>"I've only been here for four years," Lero said quietly, a far off look in his eyes as he stared down into his lap
>You looked over at him
>Really?
>Interesting...
"Yeah? Well, you must be one hell of a ladies man then," you said, giving his ribs a light prod with your elbow. "You managed to marry three mares in the time that it took for me and Celly to start dating."
>Lero picked his head up and looked over at your Celestia, who was talking to both Twilights
>"How did you two meet, if you don't mind me asking?"
>Your brow furrowed in thought
>The memories came flooding back again, and you couldn’t help but chuckle to yourself
>Holy hell was all of this reminiscing making you feel like an old man...
"When I got dumped into my Equestria I happened to land in the middle of Canterlot gardens," you said. "I scared the hell out of some of the staff. They rushed away and called on the guard. The guard came and tried to beat the stuffing out of me."
>You had thought it adorable when little white ponies had come trotting toward you in golden armor
>It wasn't so adorable when one of them kicked you in the chest so hard that you flew back ten feet
"We had a bit of a scuffle, one in which I got my ass kicked up and down the garden, and then the princesses came."
>You chuckled again
>At that point one of the little guards had broken your ribs and another had dislocated your ankle
>There were also numerous cuts, bruises, and burns all over your body, some of which came from the guards but most of which came from your violent entry
>You, terrified out of your mind and in so much pain that you were half mad, barely even felt any of it
>Lero leaned toward you, clearly interested in the story
>"So the princesses stopped the guards from hurting you then?" he asked
"Nope," you replied with a shake of your head. "They told their guards to step away and did their very best to kill me."


>You grinned as Lero expression turned into one of shock and horror, taking a sip of your drink
"Not the best first date in the world, but I've been to worse."

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

>"Are you sure that you don't want to stay the night, your highness?"
"Yes, I'm sure, Princess Twilight."
>"...Are you sure-sure?"
>You couldn't help but smile gently as you looked down at the young alicorn who could have been your old student's sister
>For most of the night Beta-Equus's Twilight had been asking you question after question, and while you had done your very best to answer every one it didn't seem to be enough for her
>She wanted to know EVERYTHING about your world
>The similarities, the differences, the workings of your magic, and everything in between
>It tickled you to no end that no matter the reality, Twilight Sparkle was a mare that wished to learn above all else
>But you needed to get your little ones home
>Your little Dawn always got so fussy if she didn't sleep in her own bed, and you--of course-- had forgotten to bring enough diapers for Radiance
>You would have also liked to sleep in your own bed with your husband
>So, it was time to leave
"I'm absolutely sure, my dear," you said, resisting the urge to nuzzle the purple alicorn. "Thank you for the offer but we all really need to be getting home."
>Princess Twilight deflated, disappointment making itself known on her features
>"...Oh. Okay."
>This time, so amount of willpower could keep you from giving the mare a nuzzle
>At first she stiffened at the contact, but just like your Twilight she quickly relaxed, even giving you a few nuzzles in return
"My husband has already promised yours that he'd come back tomorrow, and you're more than welcome to come visit us whenever you like," you said


>Princess Twilight nodded
>"Yes Pr--thank you very much your highness," she said with a bow of her head
>Inclining your head in return, you began the arduous task of herding up all of your little ponies so that you could leave
>Miss Dash had apparently drank too much, so she had to be carried, as did Miss Fluttershy, who had fallen asleep next to her counterpart sometime during the evening
>Your husband and the other human Lero had hugged and whispered a few words to each other before the two of you grabbed your little girls and made your way toward the transgate
>And as you made your way through the almost identical hallways of Beta-Equus's Canterlot Castle you couldn't help but feel a bit proud of yourself
>You had been right...
>Nothing bad had happened
>Other than your counterpart's... odd disappearance everything had gone off without a hitch...
>Your wonderful husband, who was cradling Dawn in his arms, placing a hand on the middle of your back
"So was with Lero what you thought he was going to be?" you asked
>"A bit too much of a liberal for my taste, but he seems like a really nice guy," Anon replied
>You nodded, looking straight ahead
"I suppose you noticed that something was off about him?"
>Your husband gave your back a scratch as he stared straight ahead
>"There's something wrong with his eyes," he said quietly, so the guards leading you to the gate didn't hear. "They're clouded."
"Yes. I noticed that also."
>"There's also something at the base of his spine."
"That was my counterpart's doing no doubt. From what I gathered it's a spell designed to combat madness."


>Your husband grimaced
>"So the same things that got me got him too?"
>Radiance, who was floating next to you, held aloft by your magic, began to stir
>You rocked her back and forth and gave her a nuzzle
"Most likely."
>Anon bite his lip, holding Dawn close
>"Well... that's not great."
"It's not," you agreed. "But it IS interesting..."