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When Worlds Collide 2

Feb 26th, 2017
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  1. >"Close your mouth, sweetie."
  2. >"Yes daddy."
  3. >"And don't put your elbows on the table."
  4. >"Yes daddy."
  5. >Before you had met Anonymous, you honestly had no idea what to expect
  6. >A part of you thought you were going to meet a man out of the storybooks
  7. >Someone that could pull a sword out of a stone or fight off an army with nothing but a stick and determination
  8. >You had no idea WHY
  9. >You weren't anything special and you had made a pretty comfortable life for yourself in your Equestria
  10. >Maybe you just thought that his Equestria was a darker place than yours
  11. >Maybe it was the nerd in you; the one that had spent his childhood reading about strong, larger than life characters finding themselves in different worlds
  12. >Whatever the case, Anon wasn't a giant of a man
  13. >He didn't look particularly special or athletic or anything like that
  14. >He just looked like a normal, average guy that you could have met on the street back on Earth
  15. >...All except that scar on his forehead, the little filly in his lap, and the other one sitting in a baby seat next to Beta-Equus's Princess Celestia
  16. >The scar was an unsettling thing to look at
  17. >Though none of you had mentioned it--out of politeness more than anything--it looked for all the world like someone had carved it with a knife
  18. >The kids were a different matter altogether
  19. >A very, VERY different matter
  20. >They were Princess Dawn and Princess Radiance, daughters of Beta-Equus's Celestia and Anon here
  21. >They weren't adopted, they weren't found, and they didn't become what they were through magical means
  22. >They were BORN
  23. >The princess and Anon conceived these two little adorable fillies
  24.  
  25.  
  26. >Which should have been impossible...
  27. >A human couldn't get a pony pregnant...
  28. >You were too genetically different, and no amount of magic could fix that
  29. >You knew that, along with your wives and your friends and anyone that had taken high school biology
  30. >But here two little impossibilities sat with you at the table that princesses had laid out, one of them eating some mushy baby food and the other eating hay nuggets
  31. >Living, breathing, half-breed alicorns
  32. >Since Beta-Equus's Twilight hadn't told you about the fillies, seeing them had thrown you all for a loop
  33. >It was like knowing that Santa Claus wasn’t real for all of your life but then you meet him out of nowhere
  34. >None of you knew what to do or how to act
  35. >Twilight, who hadn't been able to sit still for the last two days, was sitting quietly next to you
  36. >While Rainbow and Applejack and the others were conversing with their identical counterparts, you could see them eyeing the kids with looks of awe and disbelief
  37. >Princess Celestia and Princess Luna hadn't said a single word since all of you had sat down for dinner
  38. >Luna was doing her best not to stare but Princess Celestia was openingly staring at the two fillies with an unreadable look on her face, ignoring the food in front of her completely
  39. >Beta-Equus’s ponies didn’t seem to be doing any better
  40. >You could tell that your unease was making them nervous
  41. >Beta-Equus’s Twilight was looking around the room as if she thought someone was hiding somewhere
  42. >Their Luna was keeping an eye on both the windows and the doors
  43. >The only ponies who seemed completely at ease were the Pinkie Pies, who were telling each other knock-knock jokes and laughing hysterically, your Lyra, who was doing her best to eat all of the gourmet bread at the table, Anon and the other Celestia, who were busy making sure their daughters were eating, and the little girls themselves
  44. >You shifted in your seat, trying, and failing, to focus on the delicious meal in front of you
  45. >The tension was so thick in the air you could have cut into it with your butter knife
  46. >You could tell that anyone in the room had questions
  47. >How did it happen?
  48. >What did they do to make it work?
  49. >Did Discord have something to do with it?
  50. >Was it the work of the elements of harmony?
  51. >The list went on and on, and the more questions that came to mind, the more frustrated you became
  52. >And, though it was a little petty, you couldn’t help but think, in the back of your mind, how unfair it was
  53. >You knew that Rainbow didn't want kids, but Twilight had always talked about having a big family
  54. >And Lyra, while she didn't talk about it often, had always wanted a few children of her own
  55. >But you couldn't...
  56. >No matter what any of you did, your seed couldn't, and wouldn’t, take
  57. >The three of you had started talking about artificial insemination, but privately, that didn't sit very well with you
  58.  
  59.  
  60. >If your girls wanted it you'd support them all the way, and you'd love those kids more than anything else in their world, but the very thought of it made you feel like failure
  61. >Like your girls would have been better off finding someone more compatible...
  62. >Someone that they didn't need to jump through hoops for to start a family...
  63. >"Daddy, can I have more ketchup please?" Dawn asked, looking up at her dad, her little horn poking his chest
  64. >"Of course you can, honey," Anon said, reaching over and grabbing the red bottle in front of him
  65. >Giving it a little shake, he turned it over and squeezed a healthy amount of ketchup onto the filly's plate
  66. >Dawn's eyes lit up at the sight of it
  67. >"Thank you, daddy!" she said with a happy wiggle
  68. >"You're very welcome my little girl," Anon said, setting his ketchup bottle down as the filly grabbed a nugget and dunked it into the red substance. "Remember not to get it all over your face."
  69. >"Okay daddy!"
  70. >Running a hand through his daughter's mane, he looked over at your side of the table
  71. >On either side of you, you could see your friends tensing as his gaze traveled from pony to pony
  72. >Eventually it settled on Lyra, who had just finished her fifth basket of bread
  73. >...
  74. >Maybe you should start cutting her off…?
  75. >Five baskets was a bit too much...
  76. >"So I hear you're some kind of kung fu master, Ms. Heartstrings."
  77. >Lyra's golden eyes lifted from the table to look at the prince
  78. >"Nopony can truly master anything, so I'm not a master per se," she said, wiping the bread crumbs from her lips with the back of her hoof. "But I have studied my art enough to gain the title of grandmaster."
  79. >Anon whistled as he picked up a napkin and cleaned his daughter's face off
  80. >"Really? That's truly something," he said, before letting out a chuckle
  81. >"Is there something funny?" Lyra asked curiously, reaching for another basket of bread
  82.  
  83.  
  84. >"I just think that it’s kinda funny you're a grandmaster at some martial art while our Lyra back home can barely walk down a street without tripping over her hooves," Anon replied, a smile coming to his face
  85. >"So your Lyra isn't a student of fighting?"
  86. >"Nope. That mare doesn't have the attention span or the gumption for it."
  87. >Lyra raised an eyebrow
  88. >"Really?"
  89. >Anon chuckled again, running his fingers through his little girl’s hair
  90. >"One time I saw her drop a hay smoothie. She was absolutely devastated when that thing hit the ground. It took Bonbon ten minutes to calm her down."
  91. >That got a chuckle out of your wife
  92. >"She sounds like a character. I think I'd like to meet my other self."
  93. >"If you want the ol' wife and me could take you down to our Ponyville. We'd probably be able to pass you off as her long lost sister or something like that."
  94. >Dawn perked up
  95. >"Daddy, can I go down to Ponyville too? Pleasepleaseplease?" she asked
  96. >Anon wiped her face with his napkin again
  97. >"And why do you want to go down there, huh little missy?" he asked, giving her stomach a poke. "What, do you have a little boyfriend down there that you're not telling me about?"
  98. >Dawn giggled, pushing her father's hand away
  99. >"Daddy, stooooop! I don't have a boyfriend! Boys are gross!"
  100. >Anon tickled her harder, using a leg to keep her from jumping off his lap
  101. >"Oh? You think your old man's gross then?"
  102. >"Stooooop!"
  103. >"You think your dad is gross do ya? Well, I'll show you!"
  104. >Dawn squirmed and wiggled as she laughed and laughed until tears were streaming down her face
  105. >A smile came to your face at the sight, as it came to the faces of everyone else in the room
  106. >Even the guards, usually living statues, were wearing small grins
  107. >Finally, after a good two minutes of tickling Anon stopped and released his daughter who, still laughing, leapt from his lap and ran toward her mother
  108.  
  109.  
  110.  
  111. >Beta-Equus's Princess Celestia, who had a smile a mile wide on her face, swept little Dawn into her hooves and pulled her into a hug
  112. >"Mommy, mommy! Daddy's being mean!" the little filly cried, burying her face into her mother's chest fur
  113. >"Oh, my poor little girl," Princess Celestia cooed, nuzzling the top of her head. "Your father really is a tickle monster huh?"
  114. >Dawn lifted her face from the princess's tuft to look up at her
  115. >"Uh-huh! And he's a butt too!" she said with a nod, which had you all laughing
  116. >Celestia grinned, wrapping her wings around her little girl
  117. >"Now, now, don't call your father a butt, honey. You know that isn't nice."
  118. >She nuzzled Dawn's neck, causing her to giggle
  119. >"Especially when your mom's just as big of a tickle monster as he is."
  120. >Dawn's eyes widened, and you could see her trying to push back against Princess Celestia's wings, but it was already too late
  121. >With her trap sprung, the princess began nuzzling her daughter's neck rigorously, causing her to burst out laughing again
  122. >When Dawn covered her neck with both hooves she simply picked up her up and blew raspberries on her belly
  123. >"Momma stop!"
  124. >"Who's my little tickle girl?"
  125. >"Moooooom!"
  126. >"Who's my little tickle girl?"
  127. "Mo--"
  128. >Amidst the laughter, you could hear a chair being pushed back
  129. >Looking over, you saw your Princess Celestia making her way to her hooves
  130. >She looked almost deathly pale even through that white coat of hers, and there was a haunted look in her eyes
  131. >Everyone looked over at her in surprise and confusion
  132. >Even little Radiance stopped eating her baby food to look at her
  133. >"I apologize, but I just remembered that I had something very important to see to," Celestia said emotionlessly, taking a step away from the table
  134. >It was a cautious step, you noticed, almost like she was... afraid of something
  135.  
  136.  
  137. >The alicorn thickly swallowed, doing her best to look everywhere but at the other Celestia and her little girl, before bowing her head
  138. >"Please eat to your heart's content. If you wish to stay the night, Luna would be more than happy to make accommodations for all of you. Now, if you’ll excuse me"
  139. >She took another step back, her wings ruffling against her sides
  140. >Having a pegasus for a wife, you knew what that meant
  141. > She was uncomfortable, anxious...
  142. >...
  143. >What had gotten into her?
  144. >You had never seen the princess act like this
  145. >Hell, if you weren’t seeing it with your own two eyes, you would have said that she wouldn’t act like this no matter what...
  146. >Before you could think further on it, however, the princess spun around and made her way out of the room
  147. >She wasn't exactly running, but you could clearly see how much she wanted to
  148. >You all watched her go, the tension in the air giving way to confusion
  149. >"Hon, watch Radiance with that spoon. She's about to smack you with it," Anon said, his blue eyes thoughtful as he watched the princess’s retreat
  150.  
  151. ~_~_~_~_~_~
  152.  
  153. "--And her coat is a bit bluer. And you see how her wings are a bit longer at the tips than our Rainbow?"
  154. >Lero frowned, watching as his wife and your Rainbow talked to each other about fast horse things
  155. >"...Not really," he said. "They both look the same to me."
  156. >Raising an eyebrow, you took a sip of your alcoholic beverage
  157. >It wasn't any of Applejack's cider, thank Christ, but it wasn't any of that good whiskey you had back home
  158. >Still, it was good enough to sip as you watched everyone talk and mingle with each other
  159. >Since this world's Celestia had ran off during dinner and still hadn't returned, Twilight had picked up her old mentor's slack
  160.  
  161.  
  162. >She had herded you all into this room, she had gotten you all comfortable and liquored up
  163. >She was even nice enough to get pillows and blankets for your little ones
  164.  
  165.  
  166. >Said kids were lying down on the other side of the room fast asleep and being watched over by the two Shining Armors, who were holding their little girls and chatting to each other
  167. >You and Lero were sitting at the far end of the room, getting acquainted with each other
  168. >For the past hour and a half the two of you had been talking
  169. >Where you were from, how you had met your loved ones, how life in horseland was treating you
  170. >The more that the two of you talked the more you found out just how different your worlds were
  171. >It baffled you to the highest degree that his Rainbow had managed to talk him into herding
  172. >Because the Rainbow you knew was an idiot
  173. >You loved the girl to death, but someone that didn’t have the common sense NOT to sell her friend into slavery for a book really couldn’t be considered the sharpest tool and ANY shed
  174. >You also didn't understand why he stopped eating meat "to make ponies more comfortable"
  175. >You've seen diamond dogs and gryphons eat meat in front of ponies all of the time and none of them batted an eyelash
  176. >When you lived in Ponyville there used to be a butcher shop!
  177. >Your own fucking wife was known to eat pork when it was in front of her!
  178. >Lero, on his end, didn't get why your Celestia hadn't insisted on herding with other ponies
  179. >He was also confused when you had told him about the butcher shop and your wife’s dietary habits
  180. >Only pegasi ate any kind of meat, he had said, and that was just fish
  181. >His ponies also had a bad habit of being scared of anything that wasn’t a pony
  182. >From what you gathered, ol' Lero here had a bit of trouble fitting in when he first found himself in Equestria
  183.  
  184.  
  185. >You could tell that it was a bit of a sore spot for him, so you decided not to pry too much
  186. >Instead, you and Lero decided to play a little game of guess which pony was from your world
  187. >Lero, to your surprise, was pretty shit at the game
  188. "Really? They both look the same to you?" you asked, leaning back into your chair. "What about the Luna's? Can you tell them apart?"
  189. >Lero leaned forward, staring at both Luna's
  190. >Several seconds passed before he shook his head
  191. >"No, I can't tell."
  192. "Really?"
  193. >"Yeah. I have no idea how you can tell the difference. They look exactly alike to me."
  194. >Looking over at the Luna's, you scratched your chin
  195. >While both of them looked similar, you could see their differences easily enough
  196. >Your Luna was a bit bigger than his, and her horn was a little longer
  197. >Their mane and tail colored were also slightly different, and his Luna's cutie mark hung a little lower than yours
  198. >And that just wasn't Luna either
  199. >All of the girls looked different from each other
  200. >Luna, Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, Cadence, even Dash over there
  201. >Lero knew each and every one of them, even slept with a few of them
  202. >He should be able to tell who’s who...
  203. >At least he should have been able to tell the Rainbow's apart...
  204. "I think you might be blind, my man," you said, taking another sip of your drink
  205. >Lero shrugged
  206. >"I've always had trouble telling ponies apart," he replied
  207. >A harrumph escaped you as he smiled
  208. “You have trouble with other ponies then?” you asked. “Not just the ones that look like each other?”
  209. >”If they have the same coat and mane color and I can’t see their cutiemarks then I’m usually in trouble,” he told you
  210. >As he looked over at the Twilight's, you looked into his eyes
  211. >...
  212. >Huh...
  213. >He looked back at you, prompting you to look away
  214. >"So how long's it been?" he asked
  215.  
  216. >...
  217. >Too easy...
  218. "Well, that's a hell of a question to ask a guy that you just met, but me and the missus had ourselves a bit of fun a few days ago," you said matter-of-factly
  219. >Lero immediately stiffened
  220. >"No, no, no! I-I did--"
  221. >Laughing, you slapped him on the back
  222. "Easy there big guy. I was just teasing."
  223. >Heh...
  224. >He walked right into that one...
  225. >Hiding his relief behind a smile, Lero gave you a playful shove
  226. >"I meant how long have you been in your Equestria!”
  227. >Your grin diminished somewhat
  228. "How long have I been in horseland huh?" you muttered, looking down into your glass
  229. >That was a pretty good question...
  230. >Just how long HAD it been...?
  231. >Swirling your drink, you thought back
  232. >Dawn was nearly six...
  233. >You started dating Celestia almost three years before your little one came into the world...
  234. "...Almost ten years I think," you said
  235. >Lero’s eyes widened
  236. >"Ten years?" he said, obviously surprised
  237. >You nodded
  238. "Yeah. Ten years. I think I had just gotten out of high school."
  239. >You had been a punk back then...
  240. >Your parents had wanted you to go to college to become a doctor or something, but you didn’t want to spend anymore time in school
  241. >Twelve years was enough, thank you very much
  242. >So, the genius that you were, you had decided to start looking for work
  243. >Unfortunately...
  244. >For months you had looked for a job and come up empty-- the recession was hitting really hard back then-- you hadn’t even been able to get something at McDonalds
  245. >You had been forced to stay at home and live off of your parent’s good graces
  246. >It had been so bad that you had been considered going to school, if to just get out of the house
  247. >But the week before you were supposed to go check out one of your local colleges one of your buddies had come to you with a business proposition
  248. >...
  249. >Heh...
  250. >Even after all of these years you could still remember the look on your mom's face when you told her you were working as an editor for a girl cam sex site...
  251. >...
  252. >God did your dad laugh his ass off...
  253.  
  254.  
  255. >"I've only been here for four years," Lero said quietly, a far off look in his eyes as he stared down into his lap
  256. >You looked over at him
  257. >Really?
  258. >Interesting...
  259. "Yeah? Well, you must be one hell of a ladies man then," you said, giving his ribs a light prod with your elbow. "You managed to marry three mares in the time that it took for me and Celly to start dating."
  260. >Lero picked his head up and looked over at your Celestia, who was talking to both Twilights
  261. >"How did you two meet, if you don't mind me asking?"
  262. >Your brow furrowed in thought
  263. >The memories came flooding back again, and you couldn’t help but chuckle to yourself
  264. >Holy hell was all of this reminiscing making you feel like an old man...
  265. "When I got dumped into my Equestria I happened to land in the middle of Canterlot gardens," you said. "I scared the hell out of some of the staff. They rushed away and called on the guard. The guard came and tried to beat the stuffing out of me."
  266. >You had thought it adorable when little white ponies had come trotting toward you in golden armor
  267. >It wasn't so adorable when one of them kicked you in the chest so hard that you flew back ten feet
  268. "We had a bit of a scuffle, one in which I got my ass kicked up and down the garden, and then the princesses came."
  269. >You chuckled again
  270. >At that point one of the little guards had broken your ribs and another had dislocated your ankle
  271. >There were also numerous cuts, bruises, and burns all over your body, some of which came from the guards but most of which came from your violent entry
  272. >You, terrified out of your mind and in so much pain that you were half mad, barely even felt any of it
  273. >Lero leaned toward you, clearly interested in the story
  274. >"So the princesses stopped the guards from hurting you then?" he asked
  275. "Nope," you replied with a shake of your head. "They told their guards to step away and did their very best to kill me."
  276.  
  277.  
  278. >You grinned as Lero expression turned into one of shock and horror, taking a sip of your drink
  279. "Not the best first date in the world, but I've been to worse."
  280.  
  281. ~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~
  282.  
  283. >"Are you sure that you don't want to stay the night, your highness?"
  284. "Yes, I'm sure, Princess Twilight."
  285. >"...Are you sure-sure?"
  286. >You couldn't help but smile gently as you looked down at the young alicorn who could have been your old student's sister
  287. >For most of the night Beta-Equus's Twilight had been asking you question after question, and while you had done your very best to answer every one it didn't seem to be enough for her
  288. >She wanted to know EVERYTHING about your world
  289. >The similarities, the differences, the workings of your magic, and everything in between
  290. >It tickled you to no end that no matter the reality, Twilight Sparkle was a mare that wished to learn above all else
  291. >But you needed to get your little ones home
  292. >Your little Dawn always got so fussy if she didn't sleep in her own bed, and you--of course-- had forgotten to bring enough diapers for Radiance
  293. >You would have also liked to sleep in your own bed with your husband
  294. >So, it was time to leave
  295. "I'm absolutely sure, my dear," you said, resisting the urge to nuzzle the purple alicorn. "Thank you for the offer but we all really need to be getting home."
  296. >Princess Twilight deflated, disappointment making itself known on her features
  297. >"...Oh. Okay."
  298. >This time, so amount of willpower could keep you from giving the mare a nuzzle
  299. >At first she stiffened at the contact, but just like your Twilight she quickly relaxed, even giving you a few nuzzles in return
  300. "My husband has already promised yours that he'd come back tomorrow, and you're more than welcome to come visit us whenever you like," you said
  301.  
  302.  
  303. >Princess Twilight nodded
  304. >"Yes Pr--thank you very much your highness," she said with a bow of her head
  305. >Inclining your head in return, you began the arduous task of herding up all of your little ponies so that you could leave
  306. >Miss Dash had apparently drank too much, so she had to be carried, as did Miss Fluttershy, who had fallen asleep next to her counterpart sometime during the evening
  307. >Your husband and the other human Lero had hugged and whispered a few words to each other before the two of you grabbed your little girls and made your way toward the transgate
  308. >And as you made your way through the almost identical hallways of Beta-Equus's Canterlot Castle you couldn't help but feel a bit proud of yourself
  309. >You had been right...
  310. >Nothing bad had happened
  311. >Other than your counterpart's... odd disappearance everything had gone off without a hitch...
  312. >Your wonderful husband, who was cradling Dawn in his arms, placing a hand on the middle of your back
  313. "So was with Lero what you thought he was going to be?" you asked
  314. >"A bit too much of a liberal for my taste, but he seems like a really nice guy," Anon replied
  315. >You nodded, looking straight ahead
  316. "I suppose you noticed that something was off about him?"
  317. >Your husband gave your back a scratch as he stared straight ahead
  318. >"There's something wrong with his eyes," he said quietly, so the guards leading you to the gate didn't hear. "They're clouded."
  319. "Yes. I noticed that also."
  320. >"There's also something at the base of his spine."
  321. "That was my counterpart's doing no doubt. From what I gathered it's a spell designed to combat madness."
  322.  
  323.  
  324. >Your husband grimaced
  325. >"So the same things that got me got him too?"
  326. >Radiance, who was floating next to you, held aloft by your magic, began to stir
  327. >You rocked her back and forth and gave her a nuzzle
  328. "Most likely."
  329. >Anon bite his lip, holding Dawn close
  330. >"Well... that's not great."
  331. "It's not," you agreed. "But it IS interesting..."
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