Copypasta: Adam ruins your parent’s marriage

Mom: “Were you out with your friends at the pub tonight?”

Dad: “Why yes I was, Shelia!”

SUDDENLY ADAM CONNOVER, DRESSED IN A SUIT MADE OF MANY DIVORCE PAPERS AND A TIE THAT DEPICTS A DIVORCE COURT BURSTS IN.

Adam Connover: “ACTUALLY, Theodore was staying at his coworker Lisa’s house so he could have gay sex with Lisa’s husband Roderick.”

Mom: “WHAT DID THEODORE DO!?”

Adam Connover: “He got lucky, for ten years.”

Mom: “TEN YEARS!”

Dad: “Welllllll excuse me, but unlike you Lisa, Roderick is fat and retarded while you are thin and retarded.”

Mom: “God has forsaken you Theo, I hope you burn in hell.”

Dad: “Oh here we go again with the “gay people go to hell” stuff, why don’t you pull your head out of your ass and stop being a mormon!”

THE DOMESTIC DISPUTE CONTINUES UNTIL SHELIA SLAPS THEODORE, THEN THEODORE RUNS OUTSIDE WHILE RECITING IRISH PROPAGANDA, THEN SHELIA RUNS AFTER WHILE RECITING BRITISH PROPAGANDA

Adam Connover: “Now this is really epic.”

ADAM CONNOVER STARTS TO DO FORTNIGHT DANCES TO THE THEME TO HIS SHOW ADAM RUINS EVERYTHING.

SCENE

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