Claire in Equestria with Multiple Anons: Chapter 3.5

Aug 9th, 2014
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  1. (Because the other one was getting too long)
  2. ______________________________________________
  3. >...?
  4. >Okay, you're fucking confus-GAH!
  5. >FUCK!
  6. >Okay, she just fucking choked you into an alleyway
  7. >And slammed you against a wall
  8. >...FUCKING OW!
  9. >It hurts...
  10. >You need a new back
  11. >...And a new throat
  12. >She finally lets go, and holds you up by your shirt, pinning you against the wall
  13. >So lets just establish that she's fucking Super Woman
  14. >That's a Justice League character, right?
  15. >Super Woman?
  16. >She's the one with the 'MURICA panties, right?
  17. >...If you were asking this on the Internet, you'd be slaughtered, you're sure
  18. >Well, you're technically being slaughtered right now
  19. >By your feelings
  20. >And the pain you feel
  21. >GOD it hurts
  22. >Your back is throbbing
  23. >Throbbing, so, much...
  24. >"Don't call me 'May'!"
  25. >Jesus Christ, what's in her bra?
  26. >Rocks, probably
  27. >...That'd really fucking hurt
  28. >"I should of never even mentioned the 'Mare in Red'..." She whispers, looking to the ground
  29. >...What the fuck?
  30. >She's taking this shit really seriously, huh?
  31. >A bit odd, for a Mare Do Well clone
  32. >Something tells you she's going to make this so dramatic
  33. >God, this is going to be so fucking boring....
  34. >She looks back up at you, and furrows her eyebrows
  35. >"Do you wanna know?"
  36. >Of fucking course you wanna know!
  37. "Yeah, duh! What's this 'Mare in Red' thing sll about?"
  38. 'It's because I AM the Mare in Red!'
  39. >Watch, that's exactly what she'll say
  40. >"...The Mare in Red."
  41. >She sighs, again, looking off in the distance
  42. >You look towards the town, and notice a collection of ponies just looking on
  43. >...Some bronies, too
  44. >This is supposed to be really dramatic, huh?
  45. >"It's been in my family for generations."
  46. >Oh
  47. >Well isn't that interesting?
  48. >Next she'll say that it's been a fucking curse
  49. >You notice that she notices the collection of ponies looking onwards
  50. >"Are... you two... gay?"
  51. >Unsurprisingly, that came from a colt
  53. "Yes," You start, quickly mocking the colt, "We were just about to have just, FURIOUS sex in this alleyway."
  54. >Did he just blush?
  55. >Better question, did the rest of the crowd just blush, too?
  56. >Well, rather, the BRONY part of the crowd
  57. >Which is increasing every other second
  58. >...What the hell is happening?
  59. >A brony, a neckbearded brony, that is, creeps up behind the colt, and asks, with his cheeks red as apples
  60. >"C-Can we... watch?"
  61. >Okay, what the utter FUCK is going on?
  62. >One of them just bit their lips...
  63. >The ponies are just looking with curiosity, more than anything
  64. >They must be asking theirselves "Are... are they actually going to do it...?"
  65. >"Nah. We were just about to have furious sex in another part of town. Come there, and THEN you can watch!"
  66. >...There are some bronies in the audience now, too
  67. >You can't help but blush, either
  68. >Out of embarrassment, of course
  69. >Great, now you'll be known as the mother fucker who almost fucked someone in an alleyway
  70. >"WHERE'S THE PART?"
  71. >You half-expected that question
  72. >Honestly, part of you thought these mother fuckers wouldn't have half a brain to ask such a question
  73. >"You'll have to find out yourself~" Maya says, in a sultry tone-
  75. >May releases you from her grasp on your shirt, causing you to fall over
  76. >In utter pain and embarrassment
  77. >If you could just press a button and just immediately die, right now would be when you would press that button
  78. >As you slowly get up, May just picks you up like you're a fucking five pound poodle-Note, she's carrying you fucking bridal style-and bursts through the crowd, running as fast as...
  79. >An average runner, basically
  80. >Faster than a brony, slower than most Ponyville ponies
  81. >Which is good, since you imagine that the ponies would disperse, and the bronies would give chase
  82. >Then eventually give up
  83. >You're going to assume your theories are right, as the sound of a brony mob has eventually died down, over time
  84. >Yes, you didn't look behind yourself, shut up
  85. >You were too busy being in a damn daze over what the fuck just happened
  86. >Soon, Maya brought you and herself behind some house
  87. >She lowered you to the ground, and you just pinch the bridge of your nose, with a sigh
  88. >Y'know, you would LOVE to asess the situation right now, but you're too fucked by everything that just happened in that situation
  89. >"Still wanna know the 'Mare in Red' story?"
  90. >No, fuck, no
  91. >Give the short version
  92. >'Cause you're fucking exhausted after that
  93. >...And your back is still throbbing, too
  94. "Just tell me that you're the MiR, and lets move on with the day."
  95. >She chuckles and walks off, yourself following closely behind
  96. "...What the FUCK just happened?"
  97. >"We're the only human girls in town, what do you expect?"
  98. "...NOT THAT."
  99. >Also, you and her can NOT be the only human girls in town
  100. >That's impossible, you have to say
  101. >For every two males, you say, there has to be at least one female-Oh
  102. >That's probably true for the human AND pony population, now
  103. >...God fucking damn it
  104. >No, it has to be cut, fifty-fifty
  105. >Thirty males, thirty females
  106. >...And of course, you remind yourself that at Ponka's Party, you were the only female there
  107. >Same thing with the ice-hill
  108. >Only female there
  109. >...Well, there HAS to be more females than that
  110. >It can't just be you and Maya in Ponyville... right?
  111. >You imagine there has to be more females somewhere else in Equestria, as well
  112. >Besides, they said there were more humans all over Equestria, right?
  113. >...They DID say that, right?
  114. >Your memory's shit
  115. >It's been shit since you got to Ponyville
  116. >This literally happened two hours ago, why can't you remember i-Well
  117. >You couldn't remember what you had for dinner back on Earth-Okay, every time you say something along the lines of "back on earth" or, "On our world", there's going to be a counter
  118. >That starts now
  119. >You couldn't remember what you had for dinner back on Earth
  120. >Ding! One
  121. >...Which reminds you of the carrots you pocketed before you left the house
  122. >You and Maya could share one
  123. >Taking out one of the aforementioned carrots, you break it in half and offer the shorter half to Maya
  124. >...What? You're hungry
  125. >You need a snack
  126. >"Nah, no thanks. I packed bolonga sandwiches before I left."
  127. "Oh, okay th-"
  128. >Wait, what?!
  129. "Was that sarcasm?" You question, cocking your head to the side
  130. >"What do you think?"
  131. >Sarcasm
  132. >She takes the carrot, as you start to nibble on your-Oh who the fuck are you kidding?
  133. >You took a giant bite out of that shit
  134. >You start to take the lead of your little party
  135. >All you need is a mage and a healer, and you'll be set
  136. >You could've made that a joke about an actual party, but whatever
  137. >Like... uh
  138. >It's not as good as a Pinkie Pie party, but whatever
  139. >Yeah, that works, too
  140. >As you chomp down your carrot, you look around for other females around the small town
  141. >You find zero
  142. >Maybe they're not outside, is all...?
  143. >Yeah, that's it...
  144. >They have to be inside their houses, sleeping
  145. >It's not that they're lazy...
  146. >They're probably exhausted
  147. >Like you are, right now
  148. >Besides, who would want a bunch of pervs chasing them around all the time?
  149. >Although, that hasn't happened to you and Maya, yet-It has
  150. >It JUST happened, like fifteen seconds ago
  151. >...Mostly because you and her promised sex, but still!
  152. >...Just imagine if those Public Sex threads were real
  153. >You'd be disgusted at every single act of it
  154. >Seriously, that shit would be utterly disgusting
  155. >Especially... the fetishes
  156. >Imagine someone with a scat fetish fucking in the park
  157. >You'd throw up
  158. >Or someone with a fetish for milk or something
  159. >Like a food fetish
  160. >...The thought of someone shoving Spaghetti up someone's asshole has made you lose your appitite
  161. >So, you pocket the rest of the carrot, quickly showing your disgust on your face
  162. >...It's a habit of yours
  163. >Peo-er, ponies might think you hate carrots, but, whatever
  164. >You know about a quarter of ponies in this damn town, anyway
  165. >Doesn't really matter to you if ponies or people think you like carrots or not
  166. >It's not like someone's gonna drop a veggie basket with EVERYTHING in it, except Carrots
  167. >And it's not like carrots are your favorite vegetable
  168. >That priviledge, goes to Tomatoes
  169. >...Something tells you if you said that on the internet, you'd start a massive argument, that would end about talking about the gun law
  170. >The internet is fucking weird
  171. >Too bad normalfags didn't get into Equestria
  172. >...As far as you know
  173. >That would've made the place a bit more interesting
  174. >Seeing a bunch of normalfags around instead of fat bastards would be much, much better
  175. >Then you wouldn't have neckbeard-influence'd colts asking shit like "Are you gay?"
  176. >Possibly the worst thing that's happened to you since you got here
  177. >...Y'know, except for the fact you almost killed four fillies
  178. >But, still
  179. >Worst thing
  180. >...Speaking of the sickly, you and Maya get to the hospital, soon en-
  181. >"Why are we here?"
  182. "We're visiting, Maya."
  183. >"Visiting, who?"
  184. 'You'll find out...'
  185. >Keeping your mouth shut, you enter the hospital, with an annoyed Maya following close behind, although quite reluctant to follow
  186. >After explaining your 'sitch to the nurse, you and Maya go to the waiting room
  187. >Why you have to wait to visit someone, you'll never know
  188. >...Surprisingly, you and May aren't alone
  189. >Twilight, Rainbow, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom are sitting there, too
  190. >...The two fillies, however, are sitting on the floor, instead of the chairs
  191. >Weird
  192. >You won't question it
  193. >You take your seat next to Twilight, and Maya takes her seat next to Dash
  194. >Rainbow and Twilight greet you, with smiles on their faces
  195. >Why they didn't do this when you walked in?
  196. >You'll never know
  197. >"Who's your friend?" Asks Twibright Spickel, obviously referencing Maya
  198. "Oh, she's Maya. Maya De... De..."
  199. >"Descant."
  200. "Yes, yes. Maya Decasant."
  201. >She pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs
  202. >"That's not my name."
  203. "Decasant? I'm preeeeetty sure that's your name."
  204. >She sighs, and kicks her feet
  205. >"Nice to meet ya, Ms. Decasant!" Applebloom chimes, holding her hoof out to Ms. Maya
  206. >"Fuck off."
  207. >Gasps are heard all around, as you audibly cringe
  208. "Geez! Watch the language, May. Children are here."
  209. >"Dash, what's 'Fuck'?" Sweetie Belle asks, curiously
  210. >Applebloom can only chuckle as Sweetie Belle
  211. >Apparently, Sweetie's a sheltered child
  212. >Good to know
  213. >"...You shouldn't say words like that, Sweetie Belle. They're very, very bad." Twilight says, awkwardly
  214. >"But that doesn't make any sense... How can a word be bad?"
  215. >"It... just is, Sweetie! Rarity would tell you the same thing."
  216. >Her ears fall towards the ground, as she sniffles and looks towards the aforementioned ground
  217. >The room falls silent, only occasional sniffles from Sweetie Belle and Applebloom giving a slight sound
  218. >...Now would be a time to ask Rainbow why the fuck she's here
  219. "Dash," You start, the cyan mare looking towards you
  220. >"Yeah?"
  221. "Why are you here NOW? It's.." You look around the room for a clock
  222. >No clock
  223. >"7:44" Chimes in the apple filly
  224. >Again
  225. >Looking above you, you notice the clock hanging on the wall
  226. "Yeah, it's seven fourty-four at Twilight."
  227. >The purple mare was about to open her trap... 'till she realized that 'Twilight' is still a word to describe barely-night
  228. "I would've expected you to be here and be gone, by now. You said you were gonna pick 'em up and go in the morn, irght?"
  229. >She looked nervously at the ground, and then to the side
  230. >"There was a... change of plans."
  231. >She sighed
  232. >"I should of never listened to that brony.."
  233. >Bronies
  234. >Should've known
  235. >...Actually, you did know
  236. >You saw earlier today
  237. >When Rainbow socked that fucking Avvy
  238. >But, you still have to ask
  239. >Otherwise it'd be suspicious
  240. "Change of plans...?"
  241. >"Yeah..." She sighed, knowing she would have to explain herself
  242. >Oh good!
  243. >MORE flashbacks!
  244. >Like there hasn't been enough, already...
  246. >You're Rainbow Dash!
  247. >The fastest pony alive, by far!
  248. >And, you had to wake up early, this morning
  249. >Why? Not because you were going to add more activites to your daily exercise routine
  250. >No, you'll do that later
  251. >You had to visit your honorary sister
  252. >Who had just become sick, yesterday...
  253. >She got sick with some disease called "Mononucle..."
  254. >Mono..
  255. >Monocle?
  256. >What was it called again?
  257. >Something hard to pronouce
  258. >You'll just call it "Mono", for now
  259. >Honestly, that was the first time you ever heard of such a thing
  260. >The Doctor must of known that, seeing as how he said that she was deathly ill, first
  261. >..But, she's fine
  262. >Right?
  263. >She's strong, like you!
  264. >Probably the best filly in all of Ponyville
  265. >Maybe even all of Equestria!
  266. >She'll be walking in a week, tops!
  267. >You're sure of it...
  268. >But, right now, she's still in the hospital
  269. >And, you need to visit S-You've said this already
  270. >But, along with visiting Scoots, you need to pick up Sweetie Belle and Applebloom
  271. >They wanted to visit her, as well
  272. >Can't blame them, they're better friends than you and Fluttershy, and it's been three years since they all met-Woah...
  273. >It's been three years...
  274. >Three years since you met Twilight...
  275. >Barely, anyway
  276. >...Okay, so maybe not three
  277. >A little over two
  278. >But, it's gonna, when the next Summer Sun Celebration rolls around
  279. >...Wow
  280. >That's a long time
  281. >And.. it seems like it went by so fast!
  282. >Just as fast as you
  283. >And, hey, that's saying something!
  284. >You can go a mile in a minute, without breaking a sweat!
  285. >And that's not even at your TOP SPEED!
  286. >Yeah, you're pretty awesome-Wait
  287. >What were you thinking about again?
  288. >Oh, right
  289. >The fillies!
  290. >As you exit your cloud house, and start to fly off to Rarity's, since it's closer, you notice a couple of bronies following you
  291. >They're almost directly under you
  292. >And, surprisingly, they're keeping up with you
  293. >...Well, okay, you're kind of casually flying over to Rarity's
  294. >Since if you flew faster, the cold wind would make you colder than a cold shoulder when you got to Rarity's
  295. >...You had to learn that the hard way
  296. >But, seeing the bronies on the ground, you decide to see what's up with them
  297. >Hey, you've got time to spare
  298. >You can always fly fast to Rarity and AJ's place, then get warmed up at the hospital
  299. >They can give you a blanket!
  300. >They have tons of those
  301. >Landing on the ground, you notice that the bronies seemed... very excited
  302. >You wonder why?
  304. >"Wondering was probably my worst mistake..."
  306. "Hey, guys! I just saw you walking along, and thought I'd say "Hi"! So, 'sup?"
  307. >Their excitement grew three times larger in that moment
  308. >"H-H-H-Hi... D-D-Dash... C-C-Can I-I-I call y-y-you that....?"
  309. >Jeez, he stutters more than Sweetie Belle
  310. "Hey, no need to be nervous! And sure, you can call me 'Dash'! We're all friends here, aren't we?"
  311. >"My dreams are coming true..." One of them whispers
  312. >They must really love you
  313. >Well, of course!
  314. >You're the one and only, Rainbow Dash!
  315. >You're popular all across Equestria!
  316. "So, you guys need anything?"
  317. >"Pl-please autograph my shirt..."
  318. >"Me too!"
  319. >"And me!"
  320. >"Please, me too!"
  321. >The first one pulls out a sharpie, and you take hold of it with your wing
  322. "Now calm down, bronies! You'll each get a signature from the AMAZING Rainbow Dash!"
  323. >And, as if on cue, the bronies all lined up in a single-file line
  324. >It was a pretty cool site, too
  325. >...Except for the fact that you stood there signing shirts for a good ten minutes
  326. >You think more came as time went on, too...
  327. >And by the end of it, your wing sprained
  328. >You really couldn't fly on it, after signing your name fifty or so times
  329. >You tried, and it ended in a horrible failure
  331. >"My face still hurts from it..."
  332. >You chuckled at that
  333. >You couldn't help it!
  334. >Second worst pony faceplanti-Well, okay
  335. >Rainbow's pretty cool, now that you know her in person
  336. >"So, I walked..."
  338. >You waved goodbye to the bronies, and went on your way
  339. >Rarity's wasn't that far from here... you don't think
  340. >Just think of the mental map you've made over the years...
  341. >Uhh...
  342. >Yeah, it shouldn't be that far!
  343. >When you got far enough... you could've sworn you were being followed
  344. >You took a long behind you...
  345. >Nothing
  346. >You must've been imagining things
  347. >But... when you kept walking
  348. >It felt like you were being followed
  349. >Again
  350. >So, you took another look behind yourself
  351. >Nothing
  352. 'Dear Celestia, I'm going insane...'
  354. >"This went on for what felt like an hour... Trust me, it was annoying."
  356. >Alright, you're fed up with this!
  357. >Growling, audibly, you take a swift turn around, before whoever's creeping up on your to be the wiser!
  358. >Your eyes are shut tight, as you yell as loud as you can
  360. >As you opened your eyes... you almost collapsed in embarrassment
  361. >It was the bronies!
  362. >Gosh, you just yelled at a whole bunch of them....
  363. >Are they... crying?
  364. >Aww...
  365. >You didn't want this!
  366. "...Hey, I'm sorry. Please.. don't cry."
  367. >These bronies must be fillies
  368. >Otherwise, why would they be crying?
  369. >They're like your fanclub!
  370. >Fillies, obsessing over you...
  371. >Except, your fanclub never followed you anywhere, then starting crying when you told them to stop
  372. >Well, you DID just yell at them
  373. "Listen, 'lil guys, I didn't mean to make you cry... I was just annoyed, alright?"
  374. >That didn't convince them...
  375. >Some are still tearing...
  376. "Listen, I-I'll do anything you want, alright? Just stop crying!"
  377. >The waterworks stopped
  378. >All of their eyes glistened with joy, as they crept closer...
  379. "Great! Now, what would you all like?"
  380. >They all crept closer, making these sounds with their mouths
  381. >One of them licked their lips...
  382. >Instantly, you were creeped out
  383. >How could a bunch of foals go from crying to...
  384. >To THIS?!
  385. "S-So... uh... What do you want...?"
  386. >"I want to cum inside Rainbow Dash...."
  387. >...Wh-What?!
  388. >You could've sworn you heard that...
  389. >You attempt to flap your wings-Ow!
  390. >It still hurts!
  392. >No, Rainbow Dash, no!
  393. >Don't get raped by autists!
  394. >"So... I DASHED out of there, running as fast as I could!"
  395. >Oh yeah, she can walk
  396. >You forgot about that
  397. >"I ran and ran until my wing didn't hurt as bad anymore. Then, I took to the skies, and flew as fast as I could!"
  398. >And of course, the bronies were right behind her
  399. >And you would imagine-
  400. >"The group of bronies kept growing larger and larger as I flew on!"
  401. >Yup
  402. >Exactly what you thought
  403. >You know the rest of this god damn story, so you'll tune out for a bi-
  404. >"WHAM!! I socked that perverted brony right in his face, and took off!"
  405. >...So much about tuning out and relaxing
  406. >She must of gotten through a lot of that story when you decided to think to yourself
  407. >Like a faggot
  408. >Well, you imagine that she flew to the point where she thought she got cover from the bronies
  409. >Then she backed up into Anon
  410. >Then she fuckin' whammed that bastard
  411. >"What's a pervert, Dash?" Applebloom inquires
  412. >"Go to your room."
  413. >"But we're in a hospital."
  414. >"Well... Applejack will tell you when you're older."
  415. >She seems comtempt with that answer, as Rainbow continues with her story
  416. >"I had to hide out for a few, before I was sure they weren't going to pull any Pinkie Pie's-"
  417. >"Oh! You mean when Pinkie just appeared in front of you out of nowhere?" Applebloom chimes in
  418. >"Oh yeah! I remember when you told us that story!" Sweetie adds on, a smile on her face
  419. >...Fuck
  420. >You forgot this is real life
  421. >And you forgot Ponka's antics aren't just humor for a kid's show...
  422. >Fuck
  423. >Ponka having her Pinkie Sense is real
  424. >And not just a gag for Twi to be mad at
  425. >Speaking of Twilight...
  426. >She seems to be focusing on Dash's story intently
  427. >As she wasn't informed of what bronies could do
  428. >Fucking perverts
  429. >Dashie nodded and continued on
  430. >"Honestly, I think I went to my cloud house and hid in there for a few hours before coming out again, to pick you two up."
  431. >That would make sense
  432. >You would want to get the hell away from those bronies, if they chased you around town
  433. >"Heck, I didn't even let myself be shown WHILE getting you two. I had to go quickly through the bushes and everything just to get to Rarity's."
  434. "Maybe you should stick to the sky."
  435. >Wait
  436. >Did you just say that out loud?
  437. >..Shit
  438. >Wait, no
  439. >That's a good thing
  440. >...Right?
  441. >It's good advice
  442. >You hope...
  443. >"...That's not a bad idea, Claire." Pops in Twilight
  444. >She swings her back legs, and smiles
  445. >"Staying up in the air where she's unable to be seen from a brony's point of view, or at least hard to be seen, could be useful. Plus, Rainbow could just dash her way down to anywhere she wanted, if she needed to go somewhere."
  446. "Wouldn't she cause a Sonic Ra-"
  447. >Shut up
  448. >Shut the fuck up
  449. >Shut, up.
  450. >And now all eyes are on you
  451. >God Damn it
  452. >...Except for Dash's
  453. 'Oh, please, Dash, say what I was going to say!'
  454. >"Wouldn't I cause a Sonic Rainboom if I went down fast enough?"
  456. >You look directly at the Rainbow mare, ignoring all the looks being given to you
  457. >”Claire…”
  458. >Twilight, shut the fuck up
  459. >”What were you going to s-“
  460. “Shouldn’t we be focusing on Rainbow’s question? I can only assume that she’s bringing up a good point.”
  461. >”Bu-“
  462. >She stops herself short, and sighs, directing her attention to Rainbow Dash
  463. >And so does everyone else… except for Applebloom and Maya
  464. >Maya you can understand
  465. >But…
  466. >Bloom…
  467. >Mother fucker’s got it out for you, that’s for sure
  468. >Great, not only are you scared of Applepone, but you’ve created a rivalry with her sister
  469. >Just… Amazing
  470. >Ten out of fucking ten, you say.
  471. >”Rainbow, you’d just have to glide down from the sky.”
  472. >”But then they’d see me!”
  473. “Well, why don’t you just dash along the ground? You’d go fast as all hell, and if they saw you, they’d be too bewildered by what they saw.”
  474. >Dot, dot, dot
  475. >”Hey, that’s not a bad idea, Claire!” Bouts the Rainbow pone
  476. >Hey look, it’s one of the few good things you’ve done in Equestria, so far!
  477. >…And you just realized that that IS a bad idea
  478. >Someone could be crazy enough to jump in front of Rainbow, and lick her taint
  479. >Or Grundel
  480. >…Ew
  481. >You’ll go with taint
  482. >It sounds much nicer than Grundel
  483. >Ech, grundel sounds like a machine a MAN would make
  484. >Ew
  485. >…That implies that you don’t like men
  486. >You do, it’s j-
  487. >”Twilight?”
  488. >Hey Flash Sentry, wassup?
  489. >You’re kidding, of course, it’s the nurse
  490. >Like Flash Sentry would be anywhere NEAR Twilittle Spickle
  491. >…Right?
  492. >…Yeah, you’re sure those cameos in the show were just that
  493. >Cameos
  494. >He’s not a guard for Twilight… Right?
  495. >…AAAAAAAAANYWAY, ignoring all possibilities of a horrible character appearing in Twilight’s Castle, you, and the others, direct your attention to the nurse
  496. >”You and your party are here to see Scootaloo And Noi?”
  497. >Twilight nods, as she, and the ponies, stand up
  498. > And soon, you and Maya follow
  499. >…Kinda forgot she was here, to be honest
  500. >She didn’t say shit
  501. >And when she did, you silenced her
  502. >Like a fucking dog
  503. >Yeah, you’ll just treat her like a dog after you both get out of here
  504. >You’re sure you won’t get your ass kicked
  505. >Ya mean, she’s not a super human or anything
  506. >That’d be silly!
  507. >Sarcasm is your forte, by the way
  508. >As the Nurse leads you all through the hallway of death, you push your way to the front of the line
  509. >Next to Twilight
  510. >If your friend back home-Ding! Two-could see you right now…
  511. >He’d call you a kiss ass
  512. >Then you’d murder him
  513. >Figuritively, of course
  514. >But, you’re curious
  515. >You tap Twilight’s… shoulder?
  516. >Leg?
  517. >Uh
  518. >…You tap Twilight, as she looks at you
  519. >”Hm?” She says, looking up at you
  520. >…She comes at your stomach
  521. >Like, at your belly button
  522. >You’re sure if she stood on her hind legs, she’d be your height
  523. “Say, Twilight,” You whisper, looking down at the pone, “Why’d you come here so late? You co-“
  524. >”Well,” She interrupts, raising her hoof in the sky
  525. >She’s walking on three legs
  526. >…
  527. >Why
  528. >”After I heard about Scootaloo, I had to see her ASAP! But then, I saw Rainbow with Sweetie Belle.”
  529. >Huh
  530. >”I asked her what was going on, and she told me what you already know. I offered to go get Applebloom, to cut her the trouble. We agreed to meet back up at the hospital, and I went to go get AB.”
  531. >Must’ve took longer than she thought
  532. >Ri…Right?
  533. >Rainbow couldn’t of been scared of bronies, so she took longer…
  534. >No, that not the case at all!
  535. >Twilight is still your little novice princess!
  536. >…Right?
  537. >God, you didn’t even get to see her go from novice to perfect
  538. >…She’s not perfect, though… right?
  539. >No, of course not
  540. >She’s… she’s intermediate
  541. >Yeah… intermediate
  542. >You can help her get to perfect!
  543. >Help her with friendship lessons…
  544. >It could be…
  545. >Claire in… My Little Twilight, Friends are Magic!
  546. >You can see the title card now…
  547. >Too bad you can’t draw
  548. >Or… anything artist, actually-Well…
  549. >If fighting counts as being auti-er… artistic
  550. >You know what fighting’s all about?
  551. >Stamina
  552. >Just like running
  553. >Defensive in the beginning, getting your opponent weak, and studying it
  554. >Then, POW! Punch that mother fucker with your hardest punch
  555. >…Of course, you have to fucking dodge
  556. >So speed plays a part in it, too
  557. >Dodge, dodge, dodge, LEFT JAB RIGHT JAB!
  558. >Oh… it dodges too?
  559. >Flee
  560. >That’s what you always do
  561. >Or, kick it’s groin
  562. >Then stomp it’s fucking face out
  563. >Easy win
  564. >Wait… what were you talking about?
  565. >Oh yeah
  566. >Twilight-
  567. >”Here we are. Room 2 dash 222.”
  568. >Check ‘em.
  569. >…That shouldn’t of been your first thought
  570. >Four-chan has ruined you
  571. >You have to get banned from there, someday…
  572. >But, how would you be able to post ponies fucking each other for shits and giggles?
  573. >…You could always just post that shit anyway
  574. >It’ll get you banned
  575. >Then you could go outside
  576. >…Or go to some other website-Why the fuck are you thinking about this?
  577. >The internet is about… a whole ‘nother universe away?
  578. >Seriously, you’ll probably never see the internet again
  579. >Whatever
  580. >As you, and the others, enter the door wa-…Fuck
  581. >Don’t cry, mother fucker
  582. >But…
  583. >AGGGHHH!
  584. >Crying is for the fucking weak, God damn it!
  585. >Don’t let a SINGLE FUCKING TEAR fall!
  586. >…They’re so hurt, though…
  587. >It’s like seeing your mother on her death bed…
  588. >No, it’s like watching two cute small children die right in front of you
  589. >Their destroyed outlooks…
  590. >Their limp bodies…
  591. >FUCK!
  592. >Don’t, you, DARE, CRY!
  593. >”M-… Ms. Claire…?”
  594. >…Ow
  595. >Noi…
  596. >Okay, fuck it
  597. >That hurt too much…
  598. >As you slowly walk towards the filly on the hospital bed…
  599. >Oh god…
  600. >She’s smiling at you…
  601. >She looks so weak…
  602. >So… sad
  603. >Like… she’s forcing herself to smile
  604. >But it hurts for her to even do THAT
  605. >So, she’s smiling like a dying partner
  606. >They weren’t fucking kidding…
  607. >This shit’s fucking deadly
  608. >If she looks THIS bad…
  609. >Just think if they were actually...
  610. >NO
  611. >Now is NOT THE FUCKING TIME to think about that
  612. >You kneel down, to be eye level with her
  613. “How ya been, Noi Toy?”
  614. >She just smiles in response
  615. >…FUCK!
  616. >It’s been THREE FUCKING DAYS!
  617. >You’ve known her for tw-No, not even THAT!
  618. >You’ve known her for a FUCKING HOUR
  619. >Maybe a damn half-hour
  620. >And yet…
  621. >You feel like you’ve known her forever…
  622. >And it hurts so much more to see someone you’ve known that long like this
  623. >You wouldn’t even feel like this towards anyone else in Ponyville
  624. >Or even back at home!
  625. >You hate your lazy ass Dad
  626. >Your Mom’s a fucking bitch
  627. >Your sister’s your Mom, and your brother’s your Dad
  628. >Your niece is a DEMON
  629. >Most of your cousins are sluts who’d rather get gangbanged than talk with you
  630. >And… him
  631. >What’s-his-face
  632. >Your friend at home
  633. >…You still fucking miss him
  634. >But that’s besides the point
  635. >You wouldn’t give to single fucks if ANY of them either died, or was in this position
  636. >But… Noi
  637. >You’re about to straight up bawl about this kid
  638. >A fucking KID!
  639. >What the literal HELL is wrong with you?
  640. >”Rainbow Dash, please! Get away from the patient!”
  641. >Huh?
  642. >You turn to the curtain, staying close to the bed
  643. >”No! Please! Let me hold her for a little longer!”
  644. >…Did you just miss Rainbow having a baby?
  645. >If so then that shit fucking sucks
  646. >”Rainbow! The patient is possibly contaigous! Holding her could infect you with the virus!”
  647. >Then all of Ponyville would live with Mono
  648. >…Ha! Imagined if that actually happened
  649. >Rainbow got the virus, and in like July or some shit, Mono hits almost everypony in Ponyville!
  650. >Everybody’s indoors, dyin’, while everything just fucking stops
  651. >Sky is always void of clouds-
  653. >…The Sun/Moon is always in the sky, never changing, ‘cause Rainbow got some dignitary from the capital sick, and he got the Princess’ sick
  654. >Suddenly everypony’s relying on the bronies for help, since they can’t contract the shit
  655. >Noi and Scoots are immune since they already got it once
  656. >Then it’d be up to you, Noi and Scootaloo to find a curse before everypony dies
  657. >…Sound like a cool action movie, actually
  658. >Shit, you want someone to make that shit
  659. >Like, right now-
  660. >”…please, just a few more minutes…!”
  661. >…Fine, you’ll give Rainbow some attenti-
  662. >”M-…Miss Claire?”
  663. >Nope, fuck her
  664. >Turning over back to Noi, you smile at the weak filly
  665. >…God, she’s breaking your heart
  666. >”I…”
  667. ‘Claire, I…’
  668. >Okay, that’s pedophillia
  669. >…Wait
  670. >Would it even be called that here?
  671. >Something like…
  672. >Fillyphillia
  673. >Or some shit
  674. >Fuck it, it’s wrong is what it is
  675. “Yes, Noi?”
  676. >”…I hurt…”
  677. >…You just want to bawl
  678. >This is too fucking sad
  679. >This poor, fucking, filly
  680. “..Where do you hurt, N-Noi?”
  681. >Stop sobbing, you faggot
  682. >God damn it, you can’t fucking help it
  683. >She looks so sad!
  684. >…Did she pass out?
  685. >You think she tried to say something, but fell asleep from using too much strength
  686. >She doesn’t have much strength, so smiling, talking, all that could make her loose what little str-
  687. >”MA’AM, PLEASE LEAVE!”
  688. >”Let go of her, Rainbow!”
  689. >…You’re really fucking missing whatever the hell’s going on behind the curtain
  690. >You basically tuned out all that nonsense, and with the poor filly asleep-Wait…
  691. >…
  692. >Okay she’s still breathing
  693. >With the poor filly asleep, you’ve lost focus on her
  694. >Giving Noi a kiss on her forehead, you finally decide to see what the fuck is going on on the other side
  695. >…That can’t be correct grammar
  696. >Whatever
  697. >But-…What the utter fuck?
  698. >Okay, quick explanation of what’s happening
  699. >Rainbow and the nurse are in a struggle for Scootaloo, and Twilight is trying her hardest to get Scootaloo out of Rainbow’s hooves
  700. >And yes, she’s using her magic
  701. >Also, Applebloom and Scoot-Nope
  702. >Damn it
  703. >Applebloom and SWEETIE BELLE-Damn names starting with ‘S’-are nowhere to be found
  704. >….You kinda wanna go looking for the fillies, but…
  705. >This is first priority
  706. >Especially since you want to see all this delicious drama
  707. >Time to go all nin-
  708. >”Claire?”
  709. >Well that backfired quickly
  710. >Twilight noticed you as soon as you took another step forward, and soon, so did Rainbow and Nurse
  711. “…Yeah, Hi.”
  712. >The nurse takes her chance to swipe the filly from Rainbow’s clutches-…Scootaloo’s crying
  713. >No, not the newborn baby cry
  714. >That’d be stupid
  715. >She’s softly crying
  716. >You know, that silent cry you get, where you’re too choked up to even say anything?
  717. >…You’re pretty sure you just mentioned that cry a little while ago
  718. >Whatever
  719. >Although, it seems to be from pain, more so than emotions
  720. >…You’re only saying that because you can only imagine the fucking pain she’s in after that kerfuffle
  721. >That word’s appropriate, right?
  722. >…Again, whatever
  723. >You said whatever, like, a whatever amount of times
  724. >Also, it’s funny how you literally don’t care about the situation at hand?
  725. >…Speaking of not caring
  726. >The hell’s Maya?
  727. >You take a good look around, before sighing
  728. >Greaaaat, now you have to look for an insane criminal, as well
  729. >…Who’s with the fillies
  730. >Son of a bitch
  731. >Your first month in Equestria, and you’ve let two fillies almost die, get Sweetie Bons almost robbed… something else horrible, you’re sure
  732. >And now Maya’s gonna get two more fillies killed
  733. >…But
  734. >You should put that on the secondary grill, for now.
  735. >You start walk over to Rainbow and Twilight, trying to ignore all the horrid shit Maya could be making those fillies do
  736. >Rainbow slumps to the floor, her head and hooves on the hospital bed
  737. >”Scoots…”
  738. >Twilight lifts the pegasus with her magic, as the nurse slowly puts Scootaloo back on the bed, giving Rainbow the stink eye
  739. >Yeesh
  740. >She only wanted to take her sister home
  741. >Scootaloo looks in more pain than Noi does, tear streaks on her face
  742. >She doesn’t look peaceful at all
  743. >No.
  744. >She looks like she’s fucking dead inside
  745. >Like she just lost something completely important to her in a house fire
  746. >…You slightly chuckle, thinking of how horrid it’d be if that actually DID happen
  747. >Of course, in that actuallity, you’d feel bad for her
  748. >Since you have morals and everything
  749. >Or, rather, since you don’t have a traumatic past
  750. >…Which really makes you th-
  751. >”C’mon, Claire. Or do you want me to lift you up, too?”
  752. “No need, Twibr-light. I’ll be right there.”
  753. >Twilittile exits the room, with a depressed Rainbow Dash in her magic hold
  754. >Seeing that the Princess is gone, you take cautious steps towards the mattress-
  755. >GAH!
  756. >The shit?
  757. >Okay, to explain, you just got blocked by a magic forcefield
  758. >Also you landed on your ass
  759. >That’s very important, for some reason
  760. >”Visits are /over/, Ma’am.”
  761. >She’s a very stern nurse, isn’t she?
  762. >Also she’s a unicorn
  763. >A skilled unicorn, at that
  764. >Jesus Christ, she just made a forcefield
  765. >You thought only Twilight could do tha-
  766. >”Claire?”
  767. >…God damn it
  768. >Sighing, you get off your ass and brush yourself off, leaving Scoot’s and Noi’s room
  769. >And, to avoid looking in any of the windows, you ran back to the lobby, almost crashing into the yellow red-haired-…maned filly
  770. >Thankfully, you stopped short, the yellow young-mare being safe
  771. >…For now
  772. >When she sees you, she gives you the same stink-eye that Dash got
  773. >…Yeesh
  774. >Y’know, since AB’s here, that must mean that Maya and Sweetie are-Nope
  775. >God fucking damn it
  776. >You took a quick look around, and noticed that the white filly, and the pretty-much-evil bitch are nowhere to be found
  777. >The yellow filly starts to walk out of the waiting room, Twilight and the floating dash right in front of her
  778. >You take the space between yourself and Applebloom, ending up right next to her
  779. >Now you’ve gotta dwell your curiosity
  780. “Yo, AB.”
  781. >Turns out you’re gangsta-gangsta toda-
  782. >”Grrr…”
  783. >…Did that mother fucker just GROWL at you?
  784. >Yeah, yeah you’re fuckin’ sure she just GROWLED at you
  785. >…Just pretend like it never happened
  786. >Resume normal conversation
  787. “So, uh…” Your eyes side to the kiddy-apple farmer, “Do you happen know where Sweetie Belle and Maya went?”
  788. >She just shakes her head with a frown on her muzzle
  789. >Damn it
  790. >Well, where would Maya be?
  791. >…You’ve known this woman for half-a day, you have no idea where Maya would be
  792. >…Where would SWEETIE BELLE be…?
  793. >She’s probably showin’ the grown-mare--…
  794. >You knooow…
  795. >You really need to get ponies off the mind, if you’re callin’ Maya a fuckin’ pony, now
  796. >She’s too cold-hearted to be a damn pony
  797. >…Y’mean, you are too, but, you still have a chance
  798. >…Sorta
  799. >You guess you have a chance to become a pony
  800. >You mean, you ARE on good terms with Twilight, so she could easily-
  801. >”Bye, Claire! I’ll see you later. Just so you know, I’ll be taking Rainbow Dash to her cloud house. You take Applebloom home, okay?”
  802. >Wait, what?
  803. >Oh, right
  804. >Real life
  805. >With ponies
  806. >You look for the Princess of Friendship, but she is nowhere to be found
  807. >Must of left already
  808. >…Which leaves you with the apple-family member that hates you
  809. >All you need is one that likes you, and one that’s indifferent
  810. >Wait, the one that likes you is super-scary Applejack
  811. >Well then, we need one that’s scared of you, then
  812. >..Granny Smith
  813. >And one that’s indifferent
  814. >Big Mac
  815. >Huh, circle’s already completed
  816. >You take a look at the filly standing next to you, her frown planted on her face
  817. >Sighing, you look ahead of yourself and start your… trot, to the farm, the filly following close behind
  818. >This is going to be a painfully silent walk, isn’t it?
  820. >After what feels like thirty minutes of walking… okay you’re not even halfway there
  821. >In fact, it’s fucking barren as hell, here
  822. >It must be about nine or ten, right now
  823. >Or maybe eleven or twelve
  824. >You’re bad at ti-
  825. >”Claire, mah family’s probably getting worried sick right about now. Can we pick up the pace?”
  826. “Sorry, AB, but I’m fuckin’ lost. It’s way too dark out here for me to figure out where we’re going.”
  827. >The filly just sighs, and you swear you can feel her roll her eyes
  828. >Your hands form a fist, your eye twitching in annoyance
  829. ‘Calm down, Claire. Breathe. In, and out…”
  830. >You start to take slow, and deep breathes, exhaling all of the angry out of your system
  831. >”Where are we, anyway?”
  832. >Letting loose of your fists, your stop in your tracks, and take a look around
  833. “Dunno. I don’t see any landmarks like Pon-Pinkie’s place, or Rarity’s shop.”
  834. ‘Twilight’s Castle is still as visible as ever, however.’
  835. >”…What was that?”
  836. “…What do you mean?”
  837. >Stay dumb, Claire
  838. >”Tha thing ya said before ‘Pinkie’.”
  839. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
  840. >You start walking towards the nearest house
  841. >You can hear her frantic little hoofsteps crunching onto the snow, as she follows you
  842. >”But you said somethin’ before ya said ‘Pinkie’! Ah know Ah heard it!”
  843. >Knocking on the door, you answer the filly with sarcasm
  844. “Yeah, I’m sooo sur-“
  845. >”AH KNOW YOU SAID IT!!”
  846. >Jesus titty-raping Christ!
  847. >Your knocking is cut short, by two things
  848. >One, Applebloom’s screaming, which honestly made you jump
  849. >And two, someone actually answering the door
  850. >And… you think you accidentally knocked on it’s face
  851. >”Hey, what was th-Yaaawn-that for?”
  852. >…She sounds farmiliar
  853. >You take your eyes off of Applefilly and turned to-…Blossomforth?
  854. >”Claire?!”
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