troll romance gpt-j

 > Try to understand.

The problem is that when the subject of troll romance is broached, our sparing human intellects instantly assume the most ingratiating posture of surrender imaginable.

But we will do our best to understand regardless.

Humans have only one form of romance. And though we consider it a complicated subject, spanning a wide range of emotions, social conventions, and implications for reproduction, it is ultimately a superficial slice of what trolls consider the full body of romantic experience. Our concept of romance, in spite of its capacity to fill our art and literature and to rule our individual destinies like little else, is still just that. A single, linear concept. A concept usually denoted by a single symbol.

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Troll romance is more complicated than that. Troll romance needs four symbols.

The first is sweet talk. Sweet talk is one of the most innate properties of a troll. This is a symbiotic relationship that can last hundreds of years and traverse entire territories, but the foundation is found in the troll’s initial parent-toddler relationship. A troll learns from its mother to his mother, and this refined pedagogy is later passed on to the more powerful tutors of its young adulthood. The most potent, most frequently employed, and most prevalent form of sweet talk is small talk.

Little silences, little compliments, little dances, little cradles. A troll may dream of love, but this is a love that grows and grows, self-renewing through passing affections. A troll can kiss. This is not the way of romance. A troll cannot kiss. The troll may dream of the cold serenity of Vulcan, but this is not the way of romance. A troll cannot dream of Vulcan.

For these reasons, romantic trolls are bad at sweet talk, and even when they are comfortable with it, they rarely practice it as humans would. Trolls find humans far too overwhelming, and sweet talk would only feed that singular hunger of theirs.

The second is sensuality. Not the physical heat and fire of passion, but the emotive warmth of affection. Sensuality is the most volatile of troll romance’s symbols. A troll may get burnt, but he can learn to light, but a troll cannot learn to smolder. Sensuality is the sign of love, and sensuality is the furthest thing from the view of the average troll. The art of sensuality is learned only in the breeding grounds of trolls, where it serves to reinforce the dominance hierarchy and to strengthen trust between the members of a pair.

A troll cannot fall in love. A troll is incapable of love. A troll cannot fall for love. A troll can love.

The third is romantic comedy. Troll romance, as a genre, is an infinite regression from the way humans interact with one another. We simply are not capable of dealing with the mundanities and the petty irrationalities that naturally evolve around our daily encounters. A troll may hum a tune while he digs for a root, but his musical ability is unrelated to his ability to smell, and he cannot sing in the style of a white desert hyena. The essence of trolls is to take things apart, to explore, to ask questions, to leave unanswered ones unanswered, to confront unknowns, to pursue truth. It is for this reason that trolls find humans so mysterious. We are so unaccustomed to dealing with the unyielding challenges of a troll that our own human interactions grow strangely dull and repetitive. A troll’s hand, we understand, is raised to show us when he’s ready to eat. A troll’s gaze holds great meaning, but what it means and what it conveys are lost among the fog of human imagination.

Yet trolls can laugh. Trolls cannot laugh. Trolls can smile, troll-smile.

The fourth is romance itself.

In romantic trolls, each of these four symbols—sweet talk, sensuality, romantic comedy, and romance—exist in increasingly passionate and fiery displays of love, tending to flow in a symbiotic motion as one animates the next. But for a troll, love has no objective; it has no significance. It is nothing more than a temporary cultural construct.

It is not that trolls cannot have love. It is not even that trolls cannot recognize love. They simply do not care.