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Etiquette

[Silly] I stress. You stress. Estrus.

Nov 11th, 2012
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  1. >Day estrus in P0nyville.
  2. >You've heard stories about this time of the year.
  3. >Horrible, horrible stories of the things that happen to unwitting stallions.
  4. >Applejack's rape dungeon.
  5. >Twilight's [INDEX] room.
  6. >Pinkie's "special cupcakes."
  7. >These thoughts give you chills.
  8. >Luckily for you, you're a human.
  9. >And estrus only effects mare's intent with stallions.
  10. >There's no way they'd be attracted to a big ape man.
  11. >Rarity pretty much said that straight to your face when you first met.
  12. >The only one who'd be remotely interested would be...
  13. >You-know-who...
  14. >You finish your morning routine and stroll confidently out the door.
  15. >You take a deep breath and get a lung-full of that nice country air.
  16. Time to go see my friends.
  17. >As you StruttinLeo.png down the road leading to P0nyville, you feel a strange sensation in the back of your mind.
  18. >It feels like you're being watched.
  19. >Must just be Saffron Apprehensive.
  20. >She was probably just late to her knocking appointment with your door.
  21. >You pay it no mind and continue down the road.
  22. >You arrive at the heart of P0nyville to find it largely deserted.
  23. >The marketplace is a ghost town and there's hardly a mare in sight.
  24. >You guess this estrus thing is a bigger deal than you originally thought.
  25. >You're about to turn around and head back home when...
  26. >You feel that:
  27. >"Fluttershy-just-got-a-wingboner-and-is-stroking-to-the-thought-of-you-covered-in-molasses" feeling again.
  28. >You look back over your shoulder and notice that a herd of mares has formed behind you.
  29. >They're all sauntering over to you seductively with bedroom eyes.
  30. >"Aaaaaaanoooooon..." They moan your name in a cacophony of pitch.
  31.  
  32. >You tense up. You've heard many a moan like these before.
  33. >Since you were such a stud and all back home.
  34. Oh, my... Girls, would you look at the time...
  35. >You mime looking at your wrist as if you were wearing a watch.
  36. >Oh right, you ARE wearing a watch.
  37. >It's your novelty 'half-past-rape' watch that you bought online before you got transported here.
  38. >Why the hell did you think that wearing that today would be a good idea?
  39. >You take off running back to your house.
  40. >Gotta go fast!
  41. >Pegasi are flying full speed, dive-bombing your ankles like mortar shells.
  42. >Zaps of unicorn magic are whizzing by your head and striking the ground around you.
  43. >The earth under your feet is trembling with a stampede of hooves.
  44. >You wish you had a second to take in what was going on.
  45. >You'd bet you look pretty fucking awesome right now.
  46. >Finally, you make it inside your house.
  47. >You lock the door and slam as much furniture against it as you can.
  48. >For the first time since you moved in, you appreciate the miniature size of your home.
  49. >There was only one door, and the only window was too small for p0nies to squeeze through.
  50. >You slump up against the wall farthest from the door and sigh in relief.
  51. >There's a pounding on your door and more moaning from outside.
  52. >You curl up and tremble.
  53. >How long could you hold out?
  54. >Why is this happening to you?
  55. >How long did estrus last, anyway?
  56. >Who WAS the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well?
  57.  
  58. >You're jolted from your thought process by a slamming against your door.
  59. >You shakily crawl backwards into the corner as your ears are flooded with the sounds of horny mares.
  60. >"Aaanooooooon..."
  61. >The door rumbles and shakes.
  62. >"Aaanooooooon..."
  63. >You're sweating and shivering, praying for the door to hold.
  64. >There's a constant, lethargic beating on your door now.
  65. >Each quake shakes the mish-mashed furniture blocking the door, scooting it towards you several inches.
  66. >You want to brace the door, but all your possessions are already piled up.
  67. >With one final heave, your door bursts open, sending furniture in your direction.
  68. >You want to scream and run, but you're paralyzed with dread.
  69. >The black mass of p0ny desire moves to swallow you whole.
  70. >This was it.
  71. >You were going to get raped to the bone.
  72. >Goodbye Mother.
  73. >You're being smothered by the black shadowy mass that is every mare in P0nyville.
  74. >You close your eyes and surrender yourself to the will of lust.
  75. >But...
  76. >Nothing happens.
  77. >You open your eyes and stare blankly at the group in front of you.
  78. >They're all lying on their backs and looking up at you expectantly.
  79. >"Aaaaanoooooon... We want belly rubs..."
  80. >wut
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