Annabelle - Drunk Giraffe (PART 1) by AngryWino's

This is another Interlude.  I saw various complaints on the Strange Waifu Thread, about characters being basically monster girls with ponies, half-pony mary-sue characters, and (oddly) why aren't there any giraffes?  So I decided it would be fun to shack Anon up with an amorous giraffe who is just as disorganized and irresponsible as he usually is.  This is the result.

And here is the image that inspired it...  https://derpiboo.ru/846247

>It ain't easy trying to find decent living arrangements in Magical Mashmallow Horseland.
>Especially since, at six-foot plus, your noggin is a certified ceiling hazard to most pony dwellings.
>So you're a little surprised when the clerk at the Resettlement Assistance Office hands you a form with an address on it.
>And with an uncharacteristically cryptic smile, tells you to 'keep an open mind'.
>And thus you find yourself, with your suitcase, standing in front of a somewhat-larger-than-average building, with a somewhat-larger-than-average front door.
/They're having a laff./
>Nevertheless, figuring that anything is worth a shot at this point, you walk up to the door and rap the knocker.
>"Just a minute!" A female voice answers from within.
/Oh yeah. Those clowns are definitely having a laff./
>The door opens.
>"Hello?"
>You are disconcerted to find yourself having to look up to address the giraffe that has answered it.
>A kindly smile creases her features.
"Um, I'm Anonymous. The Resettlement Office sent me."
>She suddenly seems flustered.
>"That's today? Oh, peanuts, excuse me a moment..."
>The door slams in your face.
/WTF?/
>You listen at the door, hearing the what sounds like cans been swept up and thrown out, Things being shoved inside closets, and the unmistakeable sound of a vacuum cleaner.
/I hope they're having a good laff. Bastards./
>After a few moments, the vacuum shuts off and the door reopens.
>The giraffe stands to one side.
>"Hi, I'm Annabelle. Sorry about that, I hadn't realized you were coming today, and the house was just such a mess! Anyhow, please come in."
/What the hell, I can go along with a joke./
>You shrug and enter the home.
>Well, at least you won't have to worry about bashing your head here.
>Everything seems built to her scale, which is to say, slightly outsize for you.
"You do realize I'm a guy, right?"

>Annabelle blushes a bit.
>"Yeah, I do, but it's fine, you'll have your own room and your own bathroom."
"Isn't this place kinda big for just you?"
>"Well," she says, fidgeting, "you run out of space kinda fast when you're me, but it is kinda lonely here, so I'm glad of the company."
>She stops talking abruptly, as though she were worried that she might have said too much.
"Okay, that's cool. Where's my room?"
>"Oh, right this way."
>She turns and walks ahead of you, which puts you right at eye level with her backside.
>If she's conscious of the show she's giving you, she doesn't show it.
>You avert your gaze as you walk past the kitchen, noticing that the trash appears to be stuffed full of beer cans.
>Annabelle opens a door at the end of the hall and ushers you in.
>The room is recently cleaned, with a futon, a desk, a chair, and a small chest of drawers.
>Small is relative, most of the furniture looks a bit big for you.
>But hey, bonus - big bed.
>"There's fresh linens in the closet, so you can make up the bed, and the bathroom is through this door."
>She flicks a lightswitch and opens a door next to it, revealing a water closet/shower combination, also recently cleaned.
>Again, the fixtures are a bit outsize, but you figure you can make them work.
"I guess they sent me here because of my size. I was having a hard time fitting in pony guest houses."
>"Ha-ha, I know, right? It's like this whole city is built around miniature equines, I know how much of a pain that can be."
"Looks okay."
>You set down your suitcase and reach into your pocket, pulling out a rumpled envelope, which you offer to her.
>"What's this?"
"First month's rent."
>"Oh." She brightens considerably. "Oh! So you like it?"
"Sure."
>She takes the envelope with her teeth.
>"Tiwiffic! I weef oo oo e elle i"
"What?"
>She bends her neck down, tucking the envelope into the pocket of her apron.
>"I'll leave you to get settled in then! Make yourself at home!"

>She smiles at you, then turns to go, again giving you a full view of her backside.
>You begin to unpack and put away your few possessions.
>"I'm going to work now, talk to you when I get back!"
"Okay."
>You hear the front door open and shut.
>Oh well. You're adaptable, you can work out the rest of the details later.
>And least you've got a place to stay.
>Better still, a place to stay where you won't bump your head so much.
>After making up the bed, you have a look around the house.
>She left the door to her room open. Peering inside, you see similar furnishings to your room, with articles of clothing and personal effects scattered about haphazardly.
>The living room is home to a plush couch set in front of a large-screen TV, and little else.
>The kitchen is a mess.
>You decide to make a good first impression and clean it up.
>It's not as if you have anything else to do today.
>You wash the pots and pans, and take the cans out to the trash.
>You do a bit of general tidying up, but not too much, because if Annabelle has a system, you don't want to mess with it.
>But she did tell you to make yourself at home, and that mess was a bit much, even for you.
>Feeling hungry, you decide you've earned a reward from the fridge.
>You are disappointed, however, to find that there is nothing more in the fridge than a box of baking soda and a tube of wasabi.
/Welp, Chinese./
>Then you realize she hadn't given you a key yet.
/Sigh. Going to have to be a quick trip, then./
>You leave the door on the latch and go to the convenience store at the corner, returning with mac and cheese, a tin of tuna, and some beer.
>You make up a quick tuna casserole by mixing the tuna into the mac and cheese, then settle down with it in front of the TV.
/Right. Basic cable. Shoulda guessed./
>Putting the leftover tuna casserole in a container in the fridge, you decide to turn in early.
>Hopefully your new roommate will be quiet when she gets home.
>She's not, of course.

>She bangs into the hallway, slamming the door behind her.
>"Honest to pete, the frikkin' NERVE of some people!"
>"Hey, you still up?" she calls, "I bought some groceries."
/NOW she buys groceries./
>"Omigoodness!"
/That's it./
>You get up, determined to discuss this behavior with her, when suddenly the door to your room bangs open.
>Annabelle staggers in, very unsteady on her feet.
>She looks around the room, despite the fact that you're standing right in front her, before focusing on you.
>"Did you clean up the kitchen?"
"Yeah, it was horrible. Look - OOF!"
>She wraps her forelegs around you, crushing you into her chest.
>You can smell that she has been drinking.
>"Oh, thankyousomuch!!"
"Let go of me!"
>She releases you and you stagger back.
>She lowers her head to a level with yours and looks at you unsteadily with her big, brown eyes.
>"Thass so sweet of you! Y'know, I thin' you an' I are going to be GREAT friends!"
"Well, not unless you MMFFFF!!"
>Annabelle wraps her soft, fuzzy lips around the lower half of your face, and you feel her tongue invade your mouth.
/Seriously, WTF!!!/
>You try to back up, but she follows you, pushing her tongue deeper into your mouth.
>Like, gag reflex deep.
>She moans into your mouth, sounding excited.
>You trip over your futon and fall back, and Annabelle follows suit, still molesting your face with her lips and tongue, and ending up atop you.
>She is no lightweight. Not at all.
>Getting your hands under her head, you finally push her off you and gasp for air.
>Her head lolls, and her neck is pinning you to your futon.
"Hey, you! Get off me!"
>Your only response is a loud snore.
"%&@#?!! WAKE UP YOU #$&%ING DRUNK!!"
>She nestles her head into your side and snores again.
>You're not in danger of being crushed, but these are obviously your sleeping arrangements for the night.
>When she wakes up, you are going to have to discuss things with her.

>Fortunately, she did roll over in the night, making it possible for you to extricate yourself.
>Taking a blanket and pillow, you grumpily decided to camp out on the couch, rather than smell her whiskey breath all night.
>You sleep well enough, until the suns rays begin to creep in through the windows, gradually illuminating the room.
>A guttural moan filters into your consciousness, waking you.
>A few bumping noises, then Annabelle staggers into view, eyes closed.
>She staggers into her room without acknowledging, or apparently even noticing your presence, and shuts the door.
>You hear the sink running, a toothbrush, gargling, and other general waking-up-with-a-hangover noises.
>She emerges, headed for the kitchen, and this time she notices you.
>Peering at you in confusion, she asks, "What are you doing out here? Didn't you like the room?"
/Unbelievable./
"Pop quiz. Where did you wake up just now?"
>Her brow creases in thought.
/Wait for it.../
>Her eyes go wide and her cheeks color.
/A-a-and there it is./
>"Oh, geez, I'm sorry," she takes a couple of steps towards you and you sit up.
>"Gosh, I must have been stinko last night." Well she seems sincere, at any rate.
>"Umm, I didn't... do anything... inappropriate, last night, did I?"
"Well, if trying to rape my face and then falling asleep on top of me are appropriate behavior, then no."
>She blushes even more deeply.
>"Oh my! Umm, I'm very sorry about that. Listen, I'll go get some groceries, do you want anything?"
"You got some last night."
>She looks puzzled, then she goes and looks in the kitchen.
>"Oh! Well then, I bought coffee. Would you like some?"
"Sure."
>She disappears into the kitchen and you hear her putting things away.
>"Thanks for cleaning up the kitchen, by the way."
"Don't mention it."
>Yeah, that's what set her off last night.
>You rise from the couch and go to your room, closing the door.

>Triple-S, and since the sheets have giraffe sweat and drool on them, you strip the futon and remake it with fresh linen from the closet.
>You smell coffee as you finish dressing and open your door.
/What the hell. Forgive and forget, I guess./
>As you enter the kitchen she looks up from her coffee at the kitchen table, and indicates a second cup set out for you.
>"Do you want sugar, or..."
"I take it straight, thanks."
>You pick up the coffee and drink, sitting at the table across from her.
>"So... maybe this isn't in the right order or anything, but maybe you'd like to tell me a little bit about yourself?"
>You shrug.
"Not much to tell. I was restocking shelves when I got the Emergency Alert Message on my cell."
>Another sip of coffee.
"I was less than ten miles from San Diego when the bombs started falling, so I was sure I was toast."
>She nods, watching your face.
"Then this weird portal opens up, and a pony is yelling at us to come through. And here I am."
>For whatever reasons, they had saved as many as they could before the world burned.
>In the process, they had burdened themselves with a refugee crisis greater than any known in Equestria's long and proud history.
>Suddenly, overburdened town and city administrations were struggling to find housing and work for the aliens they had compassionately taken in.
>"What about your family?"
>Again, you shrug.
"Don't know."
>"That's so sad. Wasn't there a Missus Anonymous?"
"Nope."
>You finish the coffee and get up to pour yourself another cup.
>"I guess I know how you feel, there's never been a Mister Annabelle."
>You look over your shoulder to see her looking wistfully into her coffee cup.
>"I was supposed to go on a date with someone after work last night, but he broke up with me instead."
>She drains her cup.
>"That's kinda why I was in the state I was in last night. My friends took me to a bar, since the bastard didn't even have the guts to tell me himself."

>Against your better judgement, you feel a pang of sympathy for your new roommate, so you refill her cup for her as well before sitting down.
>She acknowledges your kindness with a grateful smile, then opens three sugar packets into her coffee.
"Workplace romances never worked out too well for me either."
>You clink your cup to hers in a gesture of solidarity, and take a drink.
>She smiles and drinks, keeping her eyes on you over the rim of her cup.
"So what's for breakfast?"
>"Umm, salad. My diet is pretty much leafy greens and fruits."
/Yeah. Shoulda guessed./
"It's okay, I know where I can get some bacon and eggs. I'll need a key though."
>"Oh, right." She rummages through a drawer in the kitchen until she finds it.
>"So you're not mad about last night?"
"Of course I am. But given the circumstances, I guess I'll forgive and forget."
>She chuckles. "I guess I was right about one thing, then."
"What's that?"
>She looks you in the eye, pushing the key across to you.
>"You really are kinda sweet."
>You grimace.
"Sure, you can go on believing that if you like."
>She giggles at this.
>"I'll make you a deal. I'll go on believing it until you do too."
>Okay, you officially can't take any more of this, and you rise to go to the store, draining your coffee.
"Sure. I'm headed out."
>"Okay, see you when you get back," she replies cheerfully.
>You also have to talk to the Resettlement Office about a job, so it may be a while.

NEXT PART:  http://pastebin.com/0ej1MPD8  (Note:  NSFW)