Space Funeral Text Dump

This is a complete dump of all dialogue in Space Funeral by thecatamites. It's a great game and you should play it. This page will detail text in the game.


----ACTORS----

Phillip (Sad)
Leg Horse (Horse)


----CLASSES----

Hero A
Hero B
Soldier A
Soldier B
Mage A
Mage B
Priest A
Priest B
Monk A
Monk B
Thief A
Thief B
Pirate A
Pirate B
Samurai
Heavy Armor
Ninja A
Ninja B
Phillip
Leg Horse


-----SKILLS-----

Wallop: A damaging heavy blow.
Sob: Burst into tears to reduce enemy defence.
Light Heal: Heals thyself or a selected friend.
Coin Trick: Chance of distracting enemy.
Mystery Punch: A powerful yet mysterious attack
Lunge: Desperately tackle all opponents
Flex Muscles: Flex, flex. Increases attack.
Pinch
Disarming Grin
Piercing Gaze
Sermon
Riddle
Growl
Blood Puke
Bite
Hemmorage
Stampede: Runs over all enemies. Ignores defence.
Entrancing Jig
Power Kick: A powerful kick which ignores defence
Grab: GRABS the enemy!! Hold he still
Spooky Dance: A mysterious jig with chance of "spooking" the foe
Preach: Preach the good word. May inflict MORAL condition.
Bible
Magic Eye
Old Movie
Purple Drank
Ground Swell
Lurk
Devour
Bloodsuck
Rend
Murmur
Ghoulish Dance
Ghostly Shiver
Scowl
Scare Witless
Gnaw
Sneaky Punch
Criminal Jig
Heal
Cleanse
Bellow
Assault
Headbutt
Absorb
Fixed Gaze
Vengeful Ray
Power Chord
Rip Off
Glitter Spray
Get It On
Hop
Tear
Rampage
Blood Rage: Increases attack, inflicts poison and berserk
Cleanse: Removes all status conditions
Revive: Brings back a dead friend
Heal All: Heals all allies
Heavy Heal: Heavily heals one ally
Savage Blow: A powerful punch
Speedy: Increases speed
Create
Thunderous Blow
Brainfreeze
Slice
Muscle
Speed
Healing Blast
Burning Rain
Bloodsap


-----ITEMS-----

Boat Ticket: Ticket to the Blood Cavern
Small Blood: A small pack of blood. Restores 100 HP.
Big Blood: A large pack of blood. Restores 200 HP.
Bigger Blood: A massive pack of blood. Restores all HP.
Small Nut: A magic nut which restores 20MP.
Large Nut: A really magic nut which restores 90 MP.
Super Nut: Extraordinarily magic nut. Restores all MP.
Bag of Nuts: Restores 20 MP to all characters.
Big Bag of Nuts: Restores 100 MP to all characters.
Bag of Blood: Restores 80HP to all characters.
Big Bag of Blood: Restores 300 HP to all characters.
Bible: A solid Bible.
Magic Eye Picture: A mysterious Magic Eye picture.
Old Movie: A sentimental old movie.
Purple Drank: RIP Pimp C
Steak: A fresh steak.
Rusty Knife: Old and rusty blade. +4 Attack
Junkyard Knife: Grimy but useable knife. +8 Attack
Hooked Knife: Unpleasant maiming knife. +13 Attack
Silver Sword: Long and balanced sword. +17 Attack
Zorg Cannon: Future death machine. +30 Attack
Worn Boots: Well-worn old boots. +5  to kicking.
Heavy Boots: Solid and reliable boots. +9 attack.
Steel-Toed Boots: Steel-toed construction boots. +13 to kick.
Razor Boots: Deadly razor-trimmed boots. +17 attack.
Laser Boots: Some kind of laser boots idk. +21 attack.
Cloth PJs: Worn and faded pajamas. +3 Defence.
Leather PJs: Stiff leather pyjamas. Def +12.
Mail PJs: Solid mail pyjamas. Def +18.
Old Pants: Worn old pants. Def +5
Heavy Jeans: Solid lumberjackish pants. Def +10
Armored Pants: Powerful armored pants. Def +15
Focused Hat: This hat will prevent DISTRACTION.
Drab Hat: This hat will prevent SPOOKED.
Weightlifter Hat: This hat gives MORE MUSCLE.
Feathered Hat: This hat gives MORE SPEED.
Silver Skull: A mysterious silver skull.
Golden Skull: A solid-gold skull
Diamond Skull: A mysterious diamond skull.
Brain Ring: More Brain
Muscle Ring: More Muscle
Speed Ring: More Speed
Mild Restorative: Restores the dead but they still feel gross.
Heavy Restorative: Restores the dead and puts a spring in their step.
Restorative Round
Restorative Binge
Mysterious Ring: A mysterious ring. Who knows where it's been?
Coin Trick: Teached the "Coin Trick" skill
Antidote: Removes "Poison" condition! Freshens rooms.
Poisonous Helmet: Poisons the owner but increases defence.
Bloodsap: A mysterious poison, gifted by the Elf King . . .


----ENEMIES----

Swamptrogg
Skull Crab
Spooky Arm
Blood Wolf
Ground Shark
Blood Ghoul
Swarthy Skull
Criminal
Rip-The-Blood
BombDog
Vengeful Ghoul
20th Century Boy
Snow Frog
Mome Beast
Moon


----TROOPS----

Swamptrogg
Skull Crab
Crab - Arm
crab - crab
wolf
two wolves
shark
blood ghoul
skull
criminals
crimdog
riptheblood
vengeghoul
bolan
Snow Frogs
momebeast
Moon


----ELEMENTS----

Hypno
Moral
Vital
Purple


-----IN BATTLE-----

SWAMPTROGG attacked!
PHILLIP makes an earnest appeal to family values! SWAMPTROGG becomes MORAL and takes a vow of pacifism!
SWAMPTROGG bursts into flame! PHILLIP doesn't know what's going on!
SWAMPTROGG reminisces about his lost youth! PHILLIP stifles a yawn!
PHILLIP suddenly becomes MUSCLED! SWAMPTROGG wears a poker face!
PHILLIP takes a surprise swing! SWAMPTROGG takes damage and goes BERSERK!
PHILLIP suddenly learned the MYSTERY PUNCH skill! SWAMPTROGG suddenly remembers a dentist appointment!
PHILLIP started to dance! SWAMPTROGG started to dance! PHILLIP and the SWAMPTROGG both feel self-conscious and stop!
SWAMPTROGG shows his long, long teeth! PHILLIP becomes SPOOKED!
SWAMPTROGG gets a CRAMP for 30 DAMAGE! PHILLIP is cautiously sympathetic!
PHILLIP and the SWAMPTROGG both have a brief scuffle! PHILLIP takes damage! SWAMPTROGG comes off the worse for wear!
You're all mysteried-out!
SKULL CRAB attacked!
PHILLIP gave a SEDUCTIVE DANCE! SKULL CRAB wasn't paying attention.
PHILLIP made a SPOOKY FACE! SKULL CRAB got SPOOKED!
PHILLIP got DEPRESSED! SKULL CRAB began to ROTATE SLOWLY!
SKULL CRAB spontaneously combusted!
PHILLIP hummed LOVE'S OLD SWEET SONG! SKULL CRAB thought it was a bit INDULGENT!
SKULL CRAB suddenly went on the offensive! PHILLIP got nipped!
PHILLIP told a BORING ANECDOTE! SKULL CRAB made its excuses and LEFT!
PHILLIP delivered an impassioned speech about the METRIC SYSTEM! SKULL CRAB listens and makes several CONSIDERED RESPONSES!
PHILLIP suddenly GOT RIPPED! (attack bonus) SKULL CRAB won't meet your gaze!
PHILLIP threw up on himself! SKULL CRAB walks off in disgust!
SKULL CRAB and SPOOKY ARM attacked!
PHILLIP sings a song! SKULL CRAB got DISTRACTED! SPOOKY ARM thought it was a bit INDULGENT!
SKULL CRAB suddenly explodes! PHILLIP takes damage! SPOOKY ARM takes damage!
SPOOKY ARM made an obscene gesture! PHILLIP feels SAD AND ALONE! SKULL CRAB pretends not to notice!
PHILLIP dealt a BERSERKER BLOW! SKULL CRAB took damage! SPOOKY ARM took damage!
SPOOKY ARM suddenly GRABBED Phillip! PHILLIP got GRABBED! SKULL CRAB shuffles distractedly!
SKULL CRAB got up and left! PHILLIP was surprised! SPOOKY ARM was surprised!
PHILLIP threw up on himself! SPOOKY ARM walked away in disgust! SKULL CRAB did nothing!
SPOOKY ARM told a riddle! PHILLIP became DISTRACTED! SKULL CRAB became DISTRACTED!
SKULL CRAB did some press-ups and became MUSCLED! PHILLIP was shocked! SPOOKY ARM looks away!
PHILLIP quoted an old, old song! SKULL CRAB got a heart attack and died! SPOOKY ARM got a heart attack and died!
Two SKULL CRABS attacked!
PHILLIP sings a song! SKULL CRAB 1 got DISTRACTED! SKULL CRAB 2 checked his watch!
SKULL CRAB 1 suddenly explodes! PHILLIP takes damage! SKULL CRAB 2 takes damage!
SKULL CRAB 2 picks something out of his teeth! SKULL CRAB 1 looks embarrassed! PHILLIP looks embarrassed!
PHILLIP dealt a BERSERKER BLOW! SKULL CRAB 1 took damage! SKULL CRAB 2 took damage!
SKULL CRAB 1 suddenly ATTACKED Phillip! PHILLIP took damage! SKULL CRAB 2 looks shocked!
PHILLIP suddenly learned the MYSTERY PUNCH skill! SKULL CRAB 1 looked petrified! SKULL CRAB 2 started to cry!
PHILLIP threw up on himself! SKULL CRAB 1 also threw up because it seemed like the thing to do! SKULL CRAB 2 walked off in disgust!
SKULL CRAB 2 perfomed an exotic dance! PHILLIP became DISTRACTED! SKULL CRAB 1 became DISTRACTED!
SKULL CRAB 1 ran on the spot and became SPEEDY! PHILLIP looked shy! SKULL CRAB 2 looked envious!
PHILLIP extended a hand of friendship! SKULL CRAB 1 cautiously accepts! SKULL CRAB 2 cautiously accepts!
BLOOD WOLF attacked!
BLOOD WOLF used HEMMORAGE and explodes in a shower of TOXIC BLOOD!
PHILLIP used GOUGE! BLOOD WOLF got GOUGED! BLOOD WOLF's accuracy drops!
BLOOD WOLF dies of a sudden blood clot!
PHILLIP suddenly jumped up and down! BLOOD WOLF is startled!
PHILLIP dealt a BERSERKER BLOW! BLOOD WOLF took damage!
BLOOD WOLF began to shake and drool blood! PHILLIP is grossed out!
PHILLIP threw the a ball! BLOOD WOLF chased the ball!
PHILLIP started to cry! BLOOD WOLF became MORAL!
PHILLIP suddenly becomes MUSCLED! BLOOD WOLF ruminates!
BLOOD WOLF barfs blood! PHILLIP barfs blood!
PHILLIP suddenly feels a bit better and regains 30 HP!
BLOOD WOLF used HEMMORAGE and explodes in a shower of TOXIC BLOOD!
Two BLOOD DOGS attacked!
BLOOD WOLF used HEMMORAGE and explodes in a shower of TOXIC BLOOD!
PHILLIP used GOUGE! BLOOD WOLF got GOUGED! BLOOD WOLF 1's accuracy drops! BLOOD WOLF 2 looks agitated!
BLOOD WOLF 2 dies of a sudden blood clot!
PHILLIP suddenly jumped up and down! BLOOD WOLF 1 is startled! BLOOD WOLF 2 is willing to play!
PHILLIP dealt a BERSERKER BLOW! BLOOD WOLF 1 took damage! BLOOD WOLF 2 took damage!
BLOOD WOLF 2 began to shake and drool blood! PHILLIP is grossed out! BLOOD WOLF 1 is appreciative!
PHILLIP threw the a ball! BLOOD WOLF 1 chased the ball! BLOOD WOLF 2 chased the ball!
PHILLIP started to cry! BLOOD WOLF 1 became MORAL! BLOOD WOLF 2 got BLOOD RAGE!
PHILLIP suddenly becomes MUSCLED! BLOOD WOLF ruminates! BLOOD WOLF 2 watches from afar!
BLOOD WOLF 1 barfs blood! BLOOD WOLF 2 barfs blood! PHILLIP barfs blood!
PHILLIP suddenly feels a bit better and regains 30 HP!
BLOOD WOLF used HEMMORAGE and explodes in a shower of TOXIC BLOOD!
GROUND SHARK attacked!
PHILLIP became SPEEDY! BLOOD SHARK gnashed his teeth!
PHILLIP goes for the eyes! GROUND SHARK becomes GOUGED!
PHILLIP forgot what he was going to say! GROUND SHARK stopped moving and died instantly!
PHILLIP dealt a BERSERKER BLOW! BLOOD SHARK took damage!
BLOOD SHARK disappeared beneath the earth!
GROUND SHARK growled or something! (ground shark is the only shark that can do this) PHILLIP doesn't think that's true but becomes SPOOKED anyway!
GROUND SHARK takes a sudden bite! PHILLIP goes into a fetal position!
PHILLIP suddenly finds a MAGIC EYE PICTURE on the ground! GROUND SHARK is entranced!
GROUND SHARK gets an attack of SHARK GAS and explodes!
PHILLIP suddenly feels a bit better and regains 30 HP!
BLOOD GHOUL attacked!
PHILLIP performed a provocative dance! BLOOD GHOUL became BERSERK!
BLOOD GHOUL lets out a creepy moan! PHILLIP becomes SPOOKED!
PHILLIP begged for mercy! BLOOD GHOUL suddenly died! For a second you contemplate the possibility of a divine presence at work here . . . Probably not.
PHILLIP dealt a BERSERKER BLOW! BLOOD GHOUL took damage!
PHILLIP made that creepy face from Stanley Kubrick movies! BLOOD GHOUL becomes SPOOKED!
PHILLIP does some chin-ups and becomes MUSCLED! BLOOD GHOUL lurks in the darkness!
PHILLIP finds an OLD VIDEOTAPE on the ground! BLOOD GHOUL just stares and stares.
BLOOD GHOUL lashes out at PHILLIP! PHILLIP wishes he'd stayed at home!
PHILLIP threw a rock! BLOOD GHOUL got hit by a rock!
PHILLIP starts humming "Hey Ya!" Party regains 60 HP!
SWARTHY SKULL attacked!
SWARTHY SKULL became uncomfortable with his quasi-ironic stereotypes! SWARTHY SKULL hovered away!
SWARTHY SKULL gave a terrifying screech! PHILLIP became SPOOKED!
PHILLIP delivered a stern reading from the Book Of Leviticus! SWARTHY SKULL became MORAL!
PHILLIP dealt a BERSERKER BLOW! SWARTHY SKULL took damage and looks abashed!
PHILLIP spoke a word of power! SWARTHY SKULL collapsed into dust!
SWARTHY SKULL made a GHOST NOISE! But . . . It had no effect!
All right! PHILLIP finds some PURPLE DRANK on the ground!
PHILLIP suddenly became MUSCLED! SWARTHY SKULL twirls his moustache!
PHILLIP gives a knowing wink! SWARTHY SKULL goes BERSERK!
PHILLIP suddenly feels a bit better and regains 60 HP!
TWO CRIMINALS and a BOMBDOG attacked!
BOMB DOG misfired! CRIMINAL 1 was hurt! CRIMINAL 2 was hurt! PHILLIP was okay with it!
PHILLIP suddenly became MUSCLED! CRIMINAL 1 rolls some dice! CRIMINAL 2 puffs cigar! BOMBDOG is a bomb!
CRIMINAL stole 15 RUBLES from PHILLIP! PHILLIP is shocked! CRIMINAL 2 puts the money in his pocket and looks defiant! BOMBDOG 1 chases its tail! BOMBDOG barks!
CRIMINAL 2 runs away! CRIMINAL 1 scowls! BOMBDOG chases its tail! PHILLIP is nonplussed!
CRIMINAL 1 dismissively tosses you a RUBLE and tells you to keep the change kid! CRIMINAL 2 laughs unpleasantly! BOMBDOG makes a woof sound that might be a dog laugh! PHILLIP gets the BLOOD RAGE!
CRIMINAL and TWO BOMBDOGS attacked!
BOMB DOG 2 misfired! CRIMINAL was hurt! BOMB DOG 1 was hurt! PHILLIP was okay with it!
PHILLIP suddenly became MUSCLED! CRIMINAL lifts his sleeve to reveal an anchor tattoo! BOMBDOG 1 barks! BOMBDOG 2 barks!
CRIMINAL stole 15 RUBLES from PHILLIP! PHILLIP is shocked! BOMBDOG 1 chases its tail! BOMBDOG 2 barks repeatedly!
BOMB DOG 1 explodes! BOMB DOG 2 explodes!
PHILLIP sings a pleasant tune! Party regains 45 HP!
RIP-THE-BLOOD attacked!
PHILLIP gives a GHOULISH LAUGH! RIP-THE-BLOOD is not impressed!
PHILLIP makes a stern speech about the evils of crime! RIP-THE-BLOOD becomes MORAL!
PHILLIP inexplicably becomes MUSCLED! RIP-THE-BLOOD drags on his cigar!
RIP-THE-BLOOD blows cigar smoke into your face! PHILLIP starts to cough!
PHILLIP begins to shake! PHILLIP releases an unearthly groan and falls to the ground! PHILLIP suddenly stares up at RIP-THE-BLOOD! PHILLIP's eyes are glowing with a mysterious inner fire! PHILLIP silently mouths the Japanese word for 'finality'! PHILLIP releases CRUSHING WIND! It's super effective!
PHILLIP makes it sound like his voice is coming from far away! RIP-THE-BLOOD becomes distracted!
PHILLIP finds a BIBLE on the ground! RIP-THE-BLOOD adjusts his cape!
PHILLIP is bathed in a mysterious light which grants a full restore! RIP-THE-BLOOD says nothing, but cracks his knuckles grimly!
VENGEFUL GHOUL attacked!
PHILLIP drank a protein shake and became MUSCLED! VENGEFUL GHOUL says 'Terror'.
PHILLIP dealt a sudden blow! VENGEFUL GHOUL said 'despair'.
VENGEFUL GHOUL says 'Hatred.' PHILLIP got SPOOKED!
PHILLIP did the Mashed Potato! 'Mashed Potato start a long time ago.' VENGEFUL GHOUL became DISTRACTED and forgot to say something cryptic!
PHILLIP gives a puppy dog look! VENGEFUL GHOUL's vengefulness is dissolved by our universal human connection! VENGEFUL GHOUL disintegrates in agony!
PHILLIP made a chicken noise! VENGEFUL GHOUL said 'Doom.'
20TH CENTURY BOY appeared!
20TH CENTURY BOY blasts a powerful wave of distortion at PHILLIP! PHILLIP is blown away!
PHILLIP starts to beatbox! 20TH CENTURY BOY becomes DISTRACTED!
PHILLIP inexplicably becomes SPEEDY! 20th CENTURY BOY strikes a pose!
PHILLIP clenches his body and becomes MUSCLED! 20TH CENTURY BOY pouts!
PHILLIP begins to shake! PHILLIP releases an unearthly groan and falls to the ground! PHILLIP suddenly stares up at 20TH CENTURY BOY! PHILLIP's eyes are glowing with a mysterious inner fire! PHILLIP silently mouths the Japanese word for 'finality'! PHILLIP releases CRUSHING WIND! It's super effective!
PHILLIP suddenly got 100MP! What was all that about?
PHILLIP suddenly got a BLOOD RAGE!
PHILLIP is bathed in a mysterious light which grants a full restore!
SNOW FROGS attacked!
PHILLIP made a loud noise! SNOW FROGS bolted!
SNOW FROGS suddenly died! I guess you could say they 'croaked' Ha ha ha
PHILLIP sang "LOVE'S OLD SWEET SONG"! SNOW FROGS don't seem to care!
PHILLIP found some PURPLE DRANK!
PHILLIP is cold! SNOW FROGS give an unblinking stare!
MOME BEAST attacked!
MOME BEAST suddenly trampled PHILLIP! PHILLIP is cold and alone!
PHILLIP delivers a DESPERATE BLOW! MOME BEAST lets out a coarse grunt and keeps coming!
PHILLIP threw up on the ground! MOME BEAST got distracted!
PHILLIP became MUSCLED! MOME BEAST gives a disgusting snort!
PHILLIP suddenly regained 50HP! MOME BEAST started to drool!
MOON attacked!
PHILLIP lands an unexpected punch on MOON! MOON flickers and laughs!
PHILLIP bursts into tears! MOON hesitates and has reduced defense!
PHILLIP inexplicably becomes SPEEDY! MOON mutters something under her breath!
PHILLIP clenches his body and becomes MUSCLED! MOON snarls!
PHILLIP contorts his face into a grimace! MOON laughs but is SPOOKED nonetheless!
PHILLIP suddenly got 100MP! What was all that about?
PHILLIP suddenly got a BLOOD RAGE!
PHILLIP is bathed in a mysterious light which grants a full restore!


----STATES----

Death
Muscled
Spooked
Grabbed
Distract
Moral
Brain
Speedy
Sad
Mirror
Burn
Berserk
BldRage
Poison
Gouge
Bloodsap


----ANIMATIONS----

attack


----ANIMATIONS 2----

Phillip
Leg Horse


----TERRAIN----

green
purple
red
boat
black


----TILESETS----

World Map
Town
Inside
Dungeon
Ship
test
bloodchip
cavernchip
malicechip
fortchip
forestchip
wasteschip
castlechip
formschip
formschip2


----COMMON EVENTS----

PHILLIP made a strange gesture in the air! SKULL CRAB feels like he's coming down with something! SPOOKY ARM makes no comment!
PHILLIP got tired and sat down! SKULL CRAB sneers! SPOOKY ARM waves mysteriously!
PHILLIP sings a song! SKULL CRAB got DISTRACTED! SPOOKY ARM thought it was a bit INDULGENT!
SKULL CRAB suddenly explodes! PHILLIP takes damage! SPOOKY ARM takes damage!
SPOOKY ARM made an obscene gesture! PHILLIP feels SAD AND ALONE! SKULL CRAB pretends not to notice!
PHILLIP dealt a BERSERKER BLOW! SKULL CRAB took damage! SPOOKY ARM took damage!
SPOOKY ARM suddenly GRABBED Phillip! PHILLIP got GRABBED! SKULL CRAB shuffles distractedly!
PHILLIP told a boring anecdote! SKULL CRAB made excuses and left! SPOOKY ARM made excuses and left!
SKULL CRAB got up and left! PHILLIP was surprised! SPOOKY ARM was surprised!
PHILLIP threw up on himself! SPOOKY ARM walked away in disgust! SKULL CRAB did nothing!
SPOOKY ARM told a riddle! PHILLIP became DISTRACTED! SKULL CRAB became DISTRACTED!
PHILLIP quoted an old, old song! SKULL CRAB got a heart attack and died! SPOOKY ARM got a heart attack and died!
SKULL CRAB did some press-ups and became MUSCLED! PHILLIP was shocked! SPOOKY ARM looks away!
PHILLIP made a scary face! SKULL CRAB got SPOOKED! SPOOKY ARM got SPOOKED!


----TERMS----

Take first go.
Miss.
Tried to escape . . . And failed!
You win
You're dead
[X] experience
Got [X]!
[X] found!
[X] obtained! [X]
[X] was learned!
Welcome to BLOOD SHOP.
Buy
Sell
Finished
I'll eat all your food.
Which one
How many
Goo day
How many
I'll see you again heh...heh...heh
I am SHOPKEEP. I desire ALL RUBLES.
Buy more
WHich one
Nice
I hope you die!
What are you interested in today?
Can I interest you in anything else?
What would you like to buy?
How many of those would you like?
Thank you for your patronage.
What would you like to sell?
How many of those would you like to sell?
It is [X] to sleep. Sleep.
Sleep.
No sleep.
It's only [X] for a warm bed. How about spending the night?
Stay
Forget it
In Possession
Equipped
Rubles
Level
L
HP
H
MP
M
Normal
Ex
MP Use
Weapon
Attack
Shield
Defense
Armor
Mystic
Helmet
Agility
Accessory
Fight
Skill
Status
Blood
Auto
Equip
Row
Escape
Save
Order
Item
Quit
Wait
Active
Save to which file?
Load which file?
Do you really want to quit?
File
Yes
No


----DIALOGUE----

Eat your greens.
Your mother and I think you should leave.
Take a rest. [Yes/No] [Yes]: You feel better but not much.
Got twenty-five Rubles! All right!
HA HA HA! There is a wizard on that cliff... But it's too late for you!
I hear there's lots of BLOOD in the BLOOD CAVERN.
BLOOD CAVERN is to the NORTH. It is full of DREADFUL THINGS.
I am MUSCLE HEDONIST. Do you have what it takes to be champ?! Want to learn some combat tips? Let's go! [Okay/No] [Okay]: Don't be afraid to use STATUS CONDITIONS! "DISTRACT" enemies by juggling or singing a song to make them unable to use intellect skills. If an enemy becomes "SPOOKED" then they may become slower and have less defence . . . If you use "MORAL" skills on an enemy, they may take a temporary vow of pacifism and refuse to attack! Listen to what I have to say . . . My muscles grant me happiness!
I am SECRETIVE MUSCLE! I know much but say little! The MYSTERY command can be used once per battle! It might make MYSTERIOUS THINGS happen . . .
I am WISE MUSCLE. Don't listen to that other guy! Listen to my song! [Yes/No] [Yes]: Okay! Sometimes you may find SPECIAL ITEMS which can make or break a battle! They will inflict large damage on the right type of foe. CRIMINALS are a cowardly and superstitious lot! They are weak against BIBLES! ANIMALS are easily confused! You can throw them off with MAGIC EYE PICTURES! GHOSTS are very sentimental! They are easily affected by OLD MOVIES. I've heard of a mysterious item called PURPLE DRANK. Who knows what it does? Listen to my words . . . My brain's the biggest muscle of all!
I am the Wizard of Scum Vullage. What? No, it's too late for you. It is said there is one PERFECT CITY. A divine construct from which derives all things in this world. All things are manifestations of this one thing. All cities are aspects of the city. But it has been corrupted! You are already doomed. WIZARD GRUM lives in the BLOOD CAVERN. He is your only hope of finding this city and restoring the world. The road to the BLOOD CAVERN is dangerous. You'd better find a weapon! There are some interesting things in the BONE SWAMP to the EAST of town . . .
It's important to obey all the rules. Think about it!
I hear the LION VILLAGE will pay a lot of rubles for OLD STEAK... But you didn't hear it from me!
Good grief! Good grief!
Good grief! You'll need a SHIP to explore the BONE SWAMP. Rent one for FIVE RUBLES? [Yes/No] [Yes]: Good move, kid! [Yes If Not Enough Money]: What are you trying to pull?! You don't even have five rubles?! I ought to knock your block off! [No]: Good grief! Good grief! Don't waste my time, you blockhead! [If Switch 2 Is On]: Au revoir, kid!
Found EIGHT RUBLES! All right!
Traveller beware! There is a DEADLY SWAMPTROGG in the Bone Tunnels!
Yon fellow Swamp Knight has been savaged by the Swamptrogg. I fear he has not long . . .
*gasp* *wheeze* BIG BLOOD . . . Give Big Blood? [Yes/No] [Yes]: A-a-ah! That hit the spot! Thank you, stranger. Take this SKILL SCROLL. It may be useful against the SWAMPTROGG. Recieved "Coin Trick"skill scroll! Activate it in the items menu. If distracted, the SWAMPTROGG may be unable to use certain skills . . . Use it wisely, stranger . . . *koff* [Yes If No Big Bloods]: You don't have any Blood Packs! [No]: Forsooth! What vain trangression made / Could justify this cruelty... [If Variable 1 Is 1]: Beware the SWAMPTROGG!
O-o-h. Hello. You woke me up. Are you another one of those knight things? It's not nice to disturb other people's naps.
Got RUSTY KNIFE!
Got FOCUSED HAT!
Got 2 SMALL BLOODS! Got LARGE NUT!
Got BIG BLOOD!
The RAM HEADS are artifacts of a more civilised time . .
Got two SMALL BLOODS!
A mysterious letter. Read it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It says . . . EXPECT THE WORST! What a bad letter.
There's something hidden in the wall. Pull it out? [Yes/No] [Yes]: You find some PURPLE DRANK!
You WORMS! You SLIME! Your barbaric ways are no match for the LEG HORSE!
BOW WOW WOW WOW WOW. You CRINGING PUS! Join me or die! There is NO other way! Hmm. Perhaps I underestimated you... Your name is PHILLIP, eh? I am LEG HORSE. From now on you shall obey my every command! You will accompany me to the BLOOD CAVERN. There is a certain WIZARD that I must meet. The fate of the world depends on it! LEG HORSE joined the team.
The BLOOD DOCK is just through here! We can get a ship into the heart of the BLOOD CAVERN. Hurry up, you oaf!
Got BAG OF NUTS!
Oh. . .  Who are you . . ? Never mind . . .
Listen to this old sea rogue. There is NO RETURN from Blood Cavern! You'd better go prepared! I'm just saying!
I am TEAR-THE-BONE. I am heading north to join up with RIP-THE-BLOOD.
The secret location of LION VILLAGE? Heh...Heh...Heh.... I'll never tell!
My name is PRINCE O' BONES. I am the captain of the BLOOD SHIP. Buy a ticket in the hut. Talk to the Mate when you're ready to leave.
My MUSCULAR FORM allows me to CRUSH BUGS AND MICE.
HA HA HA! Are you ready to leave? [Yes/No] [Yes]: All aboard! [Yes If No Boat Ticket]: Wait! You haven't got a TICKET! Buy one in the Boathouse!
Your mission leads NORTH. You will SURELY DIE THERE.
Good grief! Good grief! We have BOAT TICKETS for sale here!
Look. Coming down the BLOOD RIVER. What is it, you say? I heard an old man once refer to it as an "ERROR". No-one knows what they were originally. Something which broke or which couldn't be translated during the GREAT CHANGE. . . In the world we're in now, we cannot even imagine what it might once have been. That shape no longer exists. What?! What?! Why am I telling you this!! Get out of my sight! Next stop: BLOOD CAVERN.
As a CRIMINAL, I am weak against BIBLES but strong against HYPNO-RINGS.
I'm hungry.
Lions have a special LION CODE. We use it to HUNT PREY and BUY STOCKS.
If you have the 'FLEX MUSCLE' skill, you can use it in battle to become "MUSCLED" for several turns! It's true!
HA HA HA! The ship is heading to MALICE, but we stop off at the BLOOD CAVERN.
Don't bother the Captain during the voyage!
What ho, what ho. I have a STRANGE ITEM which may be of use to you . . . I will sell you my STRANGE ITEM for 100 RUBLES. [Yes/No] [Yes]: Got HEAVY RESTORATIVE! [Yes If Not Enough Money]: Not enough money? Heh . . . Heh . . . Heh . . . I've no time for chumps like you! [If Switch 55 Is On]: What ho, what ho. I'm all out of stock!
Get back, you fool! I must speak to the WIZARD alone! It is of GRAVE IMPORTANCE!
WIZARD GRUM is ready to see you.
Don't talk to me right now . . .
Heh . . . Heh . . . Heh . . . I am the WIZARD GRUM. I understand you have a question for me . . . It's too late for you. However . . . I sense a MYSTERIOUS FATE in store for you . . . I can tell you more if you let me DRINK YOUR BLOOD. [Yes/No] [Yes]: Gulp . . . Gulp . . . Gulp . . . Ahh! There... Although I did detect some  minor ambiguities... Perhaps if I could take one more sip... [Yes/No] [Yes]: Gulpgulpgulpgulp. . . It's been a while since I've had FRESH BLOOD... Just one more sip... [Yes/No] [Yes]: GulpgulpgulpgulpGULPGULPGULP *sound of straw sucking up last centimeters of syrup drink* [No]: No . . ? Oh well . . . Can't blame an old man for trying . . . Hee hee hee! Now listen: your quest leads NORTH, to the CITY OF FORMS. Continuing through this cave leads to the town of MALICE. From there, head EAST to the MYSTERY FOREST. Heading NORTH through the GHOST FOREST leads to the WASTELANDS. You may meet an old friend of mine . . . Heh heh heh! And to the north of that . . . Who knows? You'll probably be DEAD by then anyway. Now, off you go! You'll get no more help from me . . . I like things like this! Heh . . . Heh . . . Heh . . . [No]: Then I cannot help you . . . Hee hee hee! [If Variable 4 is 3]: Get out of my CAVERN! Unless you've changed your mind about letting me drink your BLOOD . . . Heh heh heh!
Got a POISONOUS HELMET!
Wait! I have decided to travel with you to the CITY OF FORMS. Don't think about disobeying! I am LEG HORSE! I have . . . reasons of my own for wanting to go there . . . So we may as well travel together. Besides, I sense a GREAT EVIL in this cavern . . . LEG HORSE rejoined the team!
Sometimes it seems my blood spurts out in gobs, as if it were a fountain's pulsing sobs. I clearly hear it mutter as it goes yet cannot find the wound from which it flows. Before I met you baby I didn't know what I was missing.
A deep, muffled groan escapes from the Blood Cavern. You decide not to venture back inside.
Welcome to MALICE! We have MANY GOODS and CRIMINALS!
Gulp! Gulp! I'm hiding in this desert from RIP-THE-BLOOD! Don't tell him I'm here!
Good grief! Good grief! The locals have the markets in town sewn up tight. I have to make do out here!
Got 43 RUBLES! All right!
Oink, oink! There are rumours of a STRANGE FIGURE roaming the MYSTERY FOREST... He calls himself the "20TH CENTURY BOY". What's that?
I am HURL-THE-STONE. My motives are unknown!
The MYSTERY FOREST lies beyond the gate. It is said to contain the legendary LION VILLAGE.
I am HIDE-THE-HILL. Crime is my business!
What?! What?! You're heading through the NORTHERN WASTES?! Don't you know it's full of MOME BEASTS?!
I am BREAK-THE-BONE. There is nothing to my nature but an ENDLESS HATRED.
I am CRACK-THE-BONE. Only RIP-THE-BLOOD may leave here!
I am BURN-THE-BLOOD. No-one leaves without RIP-THE-BLOOD's permission!
Keeping MUMMIES is DANGEROUS. They like to EAT BONES AND FLESH.
RRRR
Help me.
Greetings. Greetings. I am Hugh Leopard. Would you like to see a pyramid? [Yes/No] [No]: That's too bad.
Oink, oink. Say, you look like you're headed to RIP-THE-BLOOD'S FORT. I know a secret that may help you along . . . But it won't be for free! 50 RUBLES is the price of my secret. [Yes/No] [Yes]: You've made a wise decision . . . Oink, oink! Listen to me: the password for the BRIDGE is: right, left, right, middle! Got it? RIGHT LEFT RIGHT MIDDLE Pleasure doing business with you . . . Heh heh heh! [Yes If Not Enough Money]: Pff! You don't even have 50 RUBLES? Get out of my sight! [No]: Too bad for you! [If Switch 18 Is On]: Listen to me: the password for the BRIDGE is: right, left, right, middle! Got it? RIGHT LEFT RIGHT MIDDLE Pleasure doing business with you . . . Heh heh heh!
I work in a MINE for OLD SCAPS AND PENCE. My LUNGS are in constant pain!
Despair.
I am BURY-THE-LEG. Soon we shall rule this world!
MUMMYS are very dangerous to touch . . . Wha-wha-wha-whaaaaaat? I'm not talking about mothers!
That RIP-THE-BLOOD is quite a fellow! I admire his MOXIE and SOCIOPATHY!
Greetings. I am HORACE. The citizens of MALICE must stay constantly alert to prevent the town being overrun by DREAD MUMMIES. However, ever since RIP-THE-BLOOD took over, security has laspsed . . . We are heading for a MUMMY CATACLYSM!
I am DESERT KNIGHT. I'm too rusted to move!
There are rumours of a DJINN somewhere in MALICE. It will grant you your heart's desire!
THIS WAY to the STEAK FARM.
I am CUT-THE-EYES, and I ain't sayin' nothing . . . Heh! Heh! Heh!
There's a STRANGE MINE to the NORTH . . . I wonder what's in it? No, really! I do!
It's a MYSTERIOUS LETTER. Open it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It says . . . BEWARE THE POWER OF THE DJINN! That's not very helpful.
Doom.
Greetings. Welcome. You should visit my  BROTHER'S STORE here. It is full of WORTHLESS CRAP.
Knock, knock. There's nobody home!
That RIP-THE-BLOOD has done a good job of keeping the UNDESIRABLES off the street! This is because he enslaves them to work in his mines.
I am LIE-THE-SMOKE. A WIZARD lives here . . . But he's not very good!
I hear RIP-THE-BLOOD has tapped into the RESERVOIR for his mining operations! Doesn't he know it's infested with DREAD MUMMIES?!
I am TELL-THE-WAY. Continue NORTH to the OLD MINE and the CASTLE OF RIP-THE-BLOOD.
Would you like to go back into town?
Beware the MUMMY'S TOUCH.
Found a SLIVER SWORD! The power courses through your veins!
Found a DIAMOND SKULL! Its cold gaze seems to penetrate your soul . . .
Found a SMALL NUT! It's . . . it's okay, I guess . . .
Found 50 RUBLES! All right!
Found some ARMORED PANTS!
Found a MUSCLE RING!
Found a BAG OF BLOOD!
It's a MYSTERIOUS LETTER. Open it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It says . . . TRUST NO-ONE! That's pretty weird.
It's a MYSTERIOUS LETTER. Open it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It says . . . DON'T TRUST THE HEADS! Interesting . . .
It's a MYSTERIOUS LETTER. Open it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It says . . . IF YOU EVER CHANGE YOUR FORM INQUIRE FOR THE WIZARD YORM. Sounds like junk mail.
Welcome to the MALICE POST OFFICE! We have many CRYPTIC LETTERS!
It's a MYSTERIOUS LETTER. Open it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It says . . . ENTER THE VOID! That's silly.
It's a MYSTERIOUS LETTER. Open it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It says . . . I WANT TO MURDER EVERYBODY! What a bad letter.
It's a MYSTERIOUS LETTER. Open it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It says . . . IF AT FIRST STERN, YOU GAIN THE DOG'S RESPECT. I guess that could be helpful.
I am the WIZARD YORM. Welcome to my grimy cave. City Of Forms? Rumours say it lies to the NORTHEAST, but I wouldn't know anything about that . . . *strokes beard discreetly* Come to me if you lose your form. [If Switch 20 Is On]: Hmm . . . Looks like you've LOST YOUR FORM . . . I can change you back . . . For a price, that is! Hee      Hee      Hee! The cost is 200 RUBLES. [Yes/No] [Yes]: A very wise decision! Now then, hold very still so as not to EXPLODE. There you are, good as new! A pleasure doing business with you . . . Hee    Hee      Hee! [Yes If Not Enough Money]: You don't have enough money! A fish you shall remain.
I am PIG A. I sell many restorative items!
I am PIG B. I have lots of equipment in stock...
All this WORTHLESS SHIT at low prices! Can you afford NOT to buy it??
I am pleased with the selection of COMPLETE GARBAGE on sale!
Welcome to the CRAP STORE! We have many stupid things!
. . .
SHH! Don't disturb the dead!
This steak is elderly and lean. It trembles at your approach. [Buy/Never mind] [Buy]: The steak slips comfortably into your pocket. [If Switch 10 Is On]: You already have a steak. Don't be greedy.
This steak is weak and sickly. It gives a chesty cough and lies down as you come near. [Buy/Never mind] [Buy]: The steak slips comfortably into your pocket. [If Switch 10 Is On]: You already have a steak! Don't be greedy.
This steak is shy but pleasant. You feel protective towards it. It is quite plump. [Buy/Never mind] [Buy]: Congratulations! The STEAK slips snugly into your pocket. [If Switch 10 Is On]: You already have a steak. Don't be greedy.
This steak seems curious and friendly. He is quite lean. [Buy/Never mind] [Buy]: Congratulations! The STEAK slips snugly into your pocket. [If Switch 10 Is On]: You already have a steak. Don't be greedy.
This steak growls as you approach, and appears surly and reclusive. It is very muscled and dense. [Buy/Never mind] [Buy]: Congratulations! The STEAK slips snugly into your pocket. [If Switch 10 Is On]: You already have a steak. Don't be greedy.
Oh . . . Um . . .  Hello . . . There are some STEAKS out back . . . You can pick one out . . . If you want . . . It's 50 RUBLES to enter the steak paddock . . . You can choose ONE STEAK . . . Sorry . . . [Enter paddock/Forget it] [Enter paddock]: Have a good time . . . I guess . . . [Enter paddock If Not Enough Money]: You don't have 50 rubles . . . Oh well . . . Maybe some other time . . . [If Switch 11 Is On]: Um . . . Have a good day . . . If you can . . .
HA HA HA! The mine site has turned up a lot of STUPID MONSTERS . . . You'd better watch yourself!
My heart is stone! You are ALREADY DEAD!
What?! You want some of this?!
I'm mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. The DEATH FORTRESS of RIP-THE-BLOOD has many TRAPS AND MONSTERS. There are rumours of a SECRET ENTRANCE . . .
These CRIMINALS don't understand the forces they are using! When they die the LIONS will EAT THEIR BONES.
We are digging up many "ERRORS" like this one in the MINE! I wonder what it means?
These UNDERGROUND RIVERS are the lifeblood of MALICE, but they attract many MUMMIES.
I am BITE-THE-EYE. Do not be alarmed! I am simply here to welcome you to the DEATH FORTRESS OF RIP-THE-BLOOD. Heh . . . Heh . . . Heh . . . None can leave alive!
Found a BIG BLOOD!
Found MAIL PJs!
Call me ISHMAEL. The STUPID RIDDLE OF THE SWITCHES must be solved before you can progress . . . Here's a clue: COLUMBUS tried going EAST to INDIA but ended up going WEST to AMERICA! Then he returned by going EAST into the CENTER of King Phillip's court! No, I don't know what it means either!
Heh . . . Heh . . . Heh . . .  I'll tear you to shreds!
HA HA HA!
Are you looking at me?! Are YOU looking at ME?!
I am RIP-THE-BLOOD. I am the KING OF ALL CRIME! My entire life has been spent searching for the MYSTICAL DJINN. To this end I created an enormous criminal empire to fund my quest. My DEATH FORT is the center of a mining operation designed to uncover the DJINN'S LAMP. You will not stand in my way! I am impressed that you made it this far. Shall I tell you of the first man I ever killed? The night was clear and the moon was yellow and the leaves came tumbling down.
There is an OLD LAMP on the ground. Rub it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: Are you sure? It looks very OLD and GRUBBY. It's PROBABLY WORTHLESS. [Yes/No] [Yes]: You rub the lamp. Rub, rub! Good grief! A MYSTERIOUS FIGURE appeared. Who would have thought? Greetings. I am the DJINN OF THE LAMP. I will grant you your FONDEST DESIRE! F-fondest desire?! You mean you could . . . Remain still whilst I read thy brain. Processing . . . Hmmph. I see. I cannot return you to your TRUE FORM, Leg Horse. That is your true form now! What?! But . . . But . . . To regain your original shape you must travel to the source of the corruption, at the CITY OF FORMS! *sigh* Very well, Djinn. Come, PHILLIP! Our travels together have not yet ended, I see! WAIT! The FAT BOY has yet to make his wish. Choose thy desire . . . [I wish for MONEY./I wish for POWER./I wish for HAPPINESS.] [I wish for MONEY.]: Your GREED sickens me, but your wish has been granted. Got 1000 Rubles! All right! [I wish for POWER.]: Your LUST FOR POWER sickens me, but your wish has been granted. Recieved a ZORG CANNON! [I wish for HAPPINESS.]: I am PLEASED with your request, and it has been granted. Recieved a copy of "Crossing The Rivers Of You: Actualizing Your Self-Potential In 30 Days Or Less" by Paul Scudd PhD. [Branch End]: And now, time for your SUITABLY IRONIC PUNISHMENT! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! You slowly flop your way back into MALICE.
As you step outside, you hear distant screams from RIP-THE-BLOOD'S FORT as it is invaded by DANGEROUS MUMMIES.
As you make your way through the canal, you hear terrifying screams as RIP-THE-BLOOD'S FORT is invaded by DREADFUL MUMMIES.
This RESERVOIR is used to pump water directly into RIP-THE-BLOOD'S FORT!
BEWARE! The TOUCH OF THE MUMMY is DEATH!
This switch controls the MUMMY GATES, which hold back the DEADLY HORDE OF DREAD MUMMIES.
Pull switch?
Help! My dignity!
Yipes!
Yipes! [If Variable 10 Is 3]: Okay, okay! If I show you the location of the secret ELF GROTTO, will you let me go? [Yes/No] [No]: Too bad for you, sucker!
Got ARMORED PANTS!
Got RAZOR BOOTS!
I am FNIR, King of the Elves! For allowing my subjects to go free, I shall bestow an AWESOME PRIVILIGE which is not usually given to outsiders! This BLOODSAP is the most potent venom in the land. I give you FIVE DROPS. Each drop inflicts the "TOXIC" condition on an enemy. This condition cannot be healed! Use it wisely, traveller . . . [If Variable 10 Is 5]: Use it wisely, traveller . . .
Welcome to LION VILLAGE. Visit the huts and partake of our LION HOSPITALITY.
Good grief! Good grief! A customer! I knew this location would pay off,  blockhead!
I am SUSAN LION. It's been a while since we've had any visitors! You wouldn't happen to have any STEAK would you? [Yes/No] [Yes]: I will give you [Variable 5] RUBLES for that STEAK! [Yes/No] [Yes]: Pleasure doing business with you . . . Heh! Heh! Heh! *caresses steak lovingly!* [No]: You're so cruel. [Yes If No Steak]: You don't have any STEAK! Don't toy with me!
Got HEAVY RESTORATIVE!
WISE LION is our leader. He can tell you many wise things!
That thing in the corner tastes terrible! I wonder what it's for?
I am WISE LION, the chief of LION VILLAGE. You may call me BUBSY. I am not long for this world. What would you like to know? [Lion Village/City Of Forms/Mystery Forest/Nothing] [Lion Village]: LION VILLAGE is the holy place of all lions. Did you notice on your way in? The entire village is shaped like a lion! Lions from all over the world mail us MEAT AND CARCASSES. We take these into the woods to bury in special locations, which calls forth more lions from the earth. It is thought that lions form in vast caverns under the ground. These are LION HEAVEN! They must be lured above ground with meat to continue the race. [City Of Forms]: To get to the CITY OF FORMS, leave the village and head EAST. Be careful: there are rumours of a mysterious wildman roaming this area . . . Beyond the Mystery Woods lie the NORTHERN WASTES. This is a vast, icy, mountainous region infested with MOME BEASTS! There are rumours of an OLD MANSION in the
wastes where one can hide from the storm . . . However . . . No-one has left it alive . . . Heading NORTH . . . Who knows? The CITY OF FORMS was corrupted some time ago . . . It is the source of the evil which taints the land of Space Funeral! [Mystery Forest]: It is rumoured there is a clearing where the FOREST ELVES cavort . . . They may have a secret for you . . . The WILDMAN calling himself the "TWENTIETH CENTURY BOY" is said to be weak against HYPNOSIS . . .
Welcome to LION STORE!
I am CARLOS LION. Did you know there are some OLD RUINS to the WEST of here? There may be interesting things in those OLD RUINS . . .
The WILDMAN of Mystery Forest seems quite dangerous . . . I think I heard him talking about the "CHILDREN OF THE REVOLUTION." What's all that about?
Leg Horse seems reluctant to enter. You decide not to push it.
This . . . This was my home . . . I was not always . . . Leg Horse. Before the change, I was PRINCE HORACE. I ruled over the land with my brother, DAG. I . . . like to think I was a just prince . . . And then . . . In one terrible day, our peaceful kingdom was turned into a NIGHTMARE WORLD, and I into the shape you see now. As for DAG, I never - Wait! Did you hear that?! What on earth . . . The WILDMAN of the forest . . . His power level . . . It's off the charts! In the moon light, fightin' with the night . . . IT'S A RIPOFF! What?! What?! An INSULT?! At my ANCESTRAL HOME?! This must be avenged! En guarde! My family's honour has been maintained . . . Come, Phillip, we must- H-Horace . . . How do you know my... *koff* *koff* Horace . . . Don't tell me you don't recognise . . . Your own BROTHER . . . Dag?! Yes, Horace. After the GREAT CHANGE . . . The ruin of our kingdom . . . My new form . . . I couldn't take it. I lost my mind, began obsessively protecting the house for . .  . your return *koff* Dag . . . Horace . . . Don't blame yourself. I can see things so clearly now . . . Continue your quest, Horace. Destroy the cancer at the heart of out kingdom and . . . A...v...e...n...g...e.................m...e.................. I . . . I will, Dag . . . Come, Phillip. The NORTHERN WASTES await...
Oh . . . Another visitor to the WASTELANDS . . . What a shame . . . You can use that thing in the corner if you think it will help . . . It probably won't . . .
Good evenink. I am COUNT DRACULA. [How are things Dracula]: Things are . . . very good! Yes! [Would you like some wine?]: I do not drink . . . vine. [Is that your piano Dracula]: Yes. I haff. . . many pianos! I like to. . . play them. . . in the evenink. [Do you know many songs Dracula]: No. I simply. . . make it up, ha ha ha! [I guess you could say you "vamp"]: Ha ha ha ha ha! Very good! Yes! [What do you do Dracula]: I am DRACULA. [What do you do Dracula]: I like to drink the blood. [Anything else?]: Well. . . [Do you like to smoke weed]: Yes! Ha ha ha! Very good! Yes! [What do you do Dracula]: I like to drink blood. . . and smoke the weed! [That's super]: Ha ha ha! I am DRACULA! [If Switch 23 Is On]: Ha ha ha!
I am OUTCAST 'O' BONES. I hunt SEA DWARVES along the coast. The CITY OF FORMS? I know it. It is a place of GREAT EVIL. I can take you there. [Yes/No] [Yes]: Are you sure? There is no going back. [Yes/No] [Yes]: Let us proceed, They proceeded.
This is not a good place, Phillip.
Come on in, the water's fine.
Just do your best.
Just do your worst.
Greetings, my friends. Welcome to the CITY OF FORMS, now formless. What?! Who are you?! Can you be . . . Yes. I am MOON. It is I who have corrupted the city. Many years ago . . . Time passes so queerly, here . . . I was an artist . . . I sought perfection in all things. So, seeking to be inspired, I travelled to this city, a place of pure form. It was perfect. It destroyed me. Nothing could be created which was not a pathetic mockery of the objects of the city. The finest works paled in comparison. In the face of such beauty I felt corrupted, an animal. Our world meant nothing. We were all graceless, creatures of slime. I was practically comatose for months when I realised what I had to do. So you turned the city and world into a grotesque mockery of itself. Don't you see? The perfection of the city left us impotent. We have to destroy that we can build again! It's still not enough, you know. Even now I can feel echoes of that perfect world, in the chance permutations of our broken copy. Perhaps another GREAT CHANGE . . . Yes . . . And more, until it becomes self-perpetuating. . . A ceaseless chaos of forms . . . Perhaps I already have. Perhaps we've had this conversation many times, you and I, with places exchanged. . . Perhaps. But it stops here. Heh. Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven........ ......motherfuckerrrrrr! [If Switch 24 Is On]: We did it . . . But the city hasn't changed. *koff* It will. It's collapsing as we speak. Sliding back into the entropy of perfection. . . Quickly, Phillip! Let's get out of here! *koff* *koff* Enjoy . .  . Your perfect world . . .
SPACE FUNERAL by thecatamites Made in RPG Maker 2003. MUSIC CREDITS: OPENING THEME: White Waking - Les Rallizes Denudes BOAT THEME: Evening Harmony - Ruth White Words by Charles Baudelaire SWAMP THEME: Frontier To Knowledge - Delia Derbyshire FIELD THEME: Colour Radio - BBC Radiophonic Workshop BLOOD CAVERN THEME 1: Spleen - Ruth White Words by Charles Baudelaire BLOOD CAVERN THEME 2: Irremediable - Ruth White Words by Charles Baudelaire MALICE MINE SITE THEME: My Marie - Vernon Geyer MYSTERY FOREST THEME: Tamariu - BBC Radiophonic Workshop NORTHERN WASTES THEME: Beginnings - Ruth White DRACULA THEME: Track 11 - V. Mescherin (title's in Russian, sorry!) CITY OF FORMS THEME: Love Gives Wings - Ruth White BATTLE THEME: One-Eighty-One - BBC Radiophonic Workshop VICTORY / GAME OVER THEME: 7 & 7 Is - Love (outro) CREDITS THEME: Spanish Stroll - Mink DeVille (R.I.P. Willy DeVille, 1950 - 2009) The character of Lucy Van Pelt belongs to Charles Schultz. The characters of Rip-the-Blood and Fantomah belong to Fletcher Hanks. The Blood Ghoul quotes "Fountain Of Blood" by Charles Baudelaire as well as "All Your Love" by Albert King. Thanks for playing!