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Actually Ed the Undying path skills

kolpastebin Feb 14th, 2015 (edited) 1,760 Never
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  1. Starting skill
  2. --------------
  3. Mild Curse
  4.         Type: Combat
  5.         MP Cost: N/A
  6.         Sure, it doesn't seem like much, but you're just getting started.
  8. Skills (Invocations)
  9. --------------------
  10. Prayer of Seshat
  11.         Type: Buff
  12.         MP Cost: 5
  13.         Hopefully the goddess of Teaching and Learning can teach you a thing or two about learning a thing or two.
  14.         Gives Effect:
  15.         Prayer of Seshat
  16.         (10 Adventures)
  17.                 The goddess Seshat has taught you how to learn things, which is a tricky prospect when you think about it. Like getting a crowbar out of the crate it was delivered in.
  18.                 +3 Mysticality Stats Per Fight
  20. Wisdom of Thoth
  21.         Type: Buff
  22.         MP Cost: 5
  23.         Can you guess what will happen if you invoke the god of Wisdom? If you can't, maybe you should invoke him twice.
  24.         Gives Effect:
  25.         Wisdom of Thoth
  26.         (10 Adventures)
  27.                 The power of the god Thoth has flooded into you, filling you with ancient mystical wisdom. Of course, the first big chunk of it was just literacy, so there's a certain amount of redundant information.
  28.                 Mysticality +10
  29.                 Mysticality +50%
  31. Power of Heka
  32.         Type: Buff
  33.         MP Cost: 10
  34.         The god of Magic was probably one of the first gods to exist, and definitely the first god you would call if you wanted to throw a really wild party.
  35.         Gives Effect:
  36.         Power of Heka
  37.         (10 Adventures)
  38.                 Whooo! If you had any hair, it would definitely be glowing bright yellow and standing on end right now.
  39.                 Spell Damage +20
  40.                 +10% Chance of Spell Critical Hit
  41.                 Spell Damage +50%
  43. Hide of Sobek
  44.         Type: Buff
  45.         MP Cost: 10
  46.         Sobek, the Crocodile god, is pretty thick-skinned -- but don't mention cowboy boots around him, because he isn't thick-skinned in every sense of the term.
  47.         Gives Effect:
  48.         Hide of Sobek
  49.         (10 Adventures)
  50.                 The Crocodile god has blessed you with tough, scaly skin. This greatly increases your defenses, but you won't be winning any beauty pageants... unless maybe there's a flogging contest.
  51.                 Damage Absorption +50
  52.                 Damage Reduction: 5
  53.                 Slight Hot Resistance (+1)
  54.                 Slight Cold Resistance (+1)
  55.                 Slight Stench  Resistance (+1)
  56.                 Slight Spooky Resistance (+1)
  57.                 Slight Sleaze Resistance (+1)
  59. Blessing of Serqet
  60.         Type: Buff
  61.         MP Cost: 15
  62.         Serqet, the goddess of Healing, is also the goddess of Scorpions -- because when you live in the desert, "healthy" is basically defined as "haven't been stung by a scorpion lately".
  63.         I don't know if you've ever been stung by a scorpion, but if you have, you'll understand why all your opponents seem to want to kill you as fast as possible when you have "Scorpion: Nature's All-Star" written on your metaphorical shirt.
  64.         Gives Effect:
  65.         Blessing of Serqet
  66.         (10 Adventures)
  67.                 Considering that the scorpion goddess's blessing seems to be for everyone to hate you, it's a little strange to call it a "blessing". That is, unless you're a huge misanthrope. Which I suppose the goddess of scorpions probably would be.
  68.                 +20 to Monster Level
  70. Shelter of Shed
  71.         Type: Buff
  72.         MP Cost: 15
  73.         The god of Shelter and Protection is named Shed. I don't even have to make a joke here, because it's already been made for me.
  74.         Gives Effect:
  75.         Shelter of Shed
  76.         (10 Adventures)
  77.                 Shed, the god of Protection, is using his power to hide you from your enemies. Almost as though, oh I dunno, like you were hiding in a small building or something?
  78.                 I know I shouldn't spell out the joke like that, but that coincidence of names is just endlessly hilarious to me.
  79.                 Monsters are way less attracted to you
  81. Bounty of Renenutet
  82.         Type: Buff
  83.         MP Cost: 20
  84.         I'm not sure how the cobra-headed goddess of Wealth and the Harvest got that job, but honestly a lady with a cobra for a face can pick any specialty she likes as far as I'm concerned. Brr.
  85.         Gives Effect:
  86.         Bounty of Renenutet
  87.         (10 Adventures)
  88.                 The cobra goddess Renenutet has blessed you with the power of wealth. I still haven't figured out what cobras have to do with wealth, but maybe her priests are working for scale?
  89.                 +50% Item Drops from Monsters
  94. Skills (Evocations)
  95. -------------------
  96. Fist of the Mummy
  97.         Type: Combat
  98.         MP Cost: 5
  99.         The first thing you learn about being a mummy is to not punch anything with your actual personal fists, because they are basically made of beef jerky and pretzel sticks.
  100.         Physical attack spell
  102. Howl of the Jackal
  103.         Type: Combat
  104.         MP Cost: 10
  105.         The minions of the jackal-headed Death god are not guys you want howling at you in a dark alley. Although howling is preferable to what they might alternately be doing.
  106.         Spooky attack spell
  108. Roar of the Lion
  109.         Type: Combat
  110.         MP Cost: 15
  111.         It's not hard to imagine how lions might end up associated with the sun -- they are large, yellow, have that mane around their faces, and in the desert they are trying to kill you pretty much every minute of every day.
  112.         Powerful hot attack spell
  114. Storm of the Scarab
  115.         Type: Combat
  116.         MP Cost: 8
  117.         It's unclear how scarabs became so important in your cosmology, considering that they're just weird little beetles that roll balls of poop around, but there are engravings in honor of them everywhere you look. They must have hired an amazing PR consultant.
  118.         All-elements attack spell
  120. Purr of the Feline
  121.         Type: Buff
  122.         MP Cost: 10
  123.         Unlike most evocation spells you know, this one isn't an attack. Rather, it makes your servants more effective at their jobs. Probably not as much as paying them would, but ha ha ha let's not get crazy here.
  124.         Gives Effect:
  125.         Purr of the Feline
  126.         (10 Adventures)
  127.                 Your servants are happy and content, despite the pittance you pay them. Though you have to admit, immortality is a pretty great fringe benefit.
  128.                 Makes Ed's Servants Stronger
  130. Lash of the Cobra
  131.         Type: Combat
  132.         MP Cost: 12
  133.         usable once per fight
  134.         Cobras are like ninjas of the desert, because they approach invisibly, strike like lightning, steal your wallet, and sleep with your wife.
  135.         Low physical damage plus pickpocket
  137. Wrath of Ra
  138.         Type: Combat
  139.         MP Cost: 40
  140.         It is probably best to not call something to the attention of the Sun God unless you want that thing vaporized in a beam of solar radiation. If that IS what you want, though, then go right ahead.
  141.         Vaporizes enemies
  146. Skills (Curses)
  147. ---------------
  148. Curse of the Marshmallow
  149.         Type: Combat
  150.         MP Cost: 2
  151.         This curse will not literally turn your opponents into marshmallows. It just makes their attacks weaker. I know, I was really disappointed too.
  152.         Reduces enemy attack and defense
  154. Curse of Indecision
  155.         Type: Combat
  156.         MP Cost: 5
  157.         Are you familiar with the term 'analysis paralysis'? Where there are too many options available for you to actually decide on a move? It's basically why oracles are usually incomprehensible lunatics.
  158.         Stuns opponent
  160. Curse of Yuck
  161.         Type: Combat
  162.         MP Cost: 5
  163.         It's not clear exactly what disease is inflicted by this curse, but it's a nasty one with lots of boils and fluids and sloughing and eeew.
  164.         Your opponent takes damage over time
  166. Curse of Heredity
  167.         Type: Combat
  168.         MP Cost: 10
  169.         This curse is for when you hate someone SO MUCH that cursing just them specifically isn't enough, and you need to get revenge on their entire family tree. Most mummies kind of have anger management issues.
  170.         Reduces stats and inflicts poison on every enemy of the same type
  172. Curse of Fortune
  173.         Type: Combat
  174.         Cost: 1 Ka coin
  175.         They say that money is the root of all evil, so giving someone a lot of money would be a curse, right? Sort of? Yeah, I don't get it either.
  176.         Spend a Ka to give your enemy more Meat
  178. Curse of Vacation
  179.         Type: Combat
  180.         MP Cost: 30
  181.         "Vacation" in this context refers simply to the act of vacating -- when you want someone to go away and not come back for a while, this is what you curse them with.
  182.         You aren't certain where they actually go, but you're pretty sure it isn't a sunny and pleasant holiday resort.%edvacation
  183.         Banish a monster for the rest of the day.
  185. Curse of Stench
  186.         Type: Combat
  187.         MP Cost: 35
  188.         Have you ever met someone who smelled so bad that you could tell they had arrived before you even saw them? Well, you're about to.%edfact
  189.         The affected monster is easier to locate
  194. Body upgrades, bought with Ka in Underworld
  195. -------------------------------------------
  196. Replacement Stomach (30 ka)
  197.         Type: Passive
  198.         MP Cost: N/A
  199.         It's nice to have your stomach back. Well, not your stomach -- that's still in a pickling jar somewhere, if it hasn't turned to dust entirely -- but definitely a stomach, and it's yours now.
  200.         +5 stomach capacity
  202. Replacement Liver (30 ka)
  203.         Type: Passive
  204.         MP Cost: N/A
  205.         The shopkeeper assured you that this liver was originally owned by a little old lady who only used it on Sundays to drink a little wine at church, so it should be good for years. Shame it isn't a bit larger, though.
  206.         +5 liver capacity
  208. Extra Spleen (5 ka)
  209.         Type: Passive
  210.         MP Cost: N/A
  211.         A spare spleen never hurts, and what with all your other organs having been removed, you've got plenty of extra room in there.
  212.         +5 spleen capacity
  214. Another Extra Spleen (10 ka)
  215.         Type: Passive
  216.         MP Cost: N/A
  217.         Heck, why stop at one extra spleen? Stick another one in there, and that's even better, right? "Three-Spleen Ed", they'll call you now. Not where you can hear them, though.
  218.         Another +5 spleen capacity
  220. Yet Another Extra Spleen (15 ka)
  221.         Type: Passive
  222.         MP Cost: N/A
  223.         Oh go on, have one more. Four's a nice even number.
  224.         Yet another +5 spleen capacity
  226. Still Another Extra Spleen (20 ka)
  227.         Type: Passive
  228.         MP Cost: N/A
  229.         Okay, you're up to five spleens now, and starting to feel a little heavy in the middle there. But man! Check out all the... spleening you can do!
  230.         Still another +5 spleen capacity
  232. Just One More Extra Spleen (25 ka)
  233.         Type: Passive
  234.         MP Cost: N/A
  235.         Not that you need six spleens, but once you get locked into a serious spleen collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.
  236.         Good grief, another +5 spleen capacity
  238. Okay Seriously, This is the Last Spleen (30 ka)
  239.         Type: Passive
  240.         MP Cost: N/A
  241.         The salesman had to use a prybar to wedge this last spleen into your torso cavity, and you're feeling really full, so I guess this is your limit for extra spleens. But how many people can say they have seven spleens? Not many, that's for sure!
  242.         Another +5 spleen capacity. That's it, for real.
  244. Upgraded Legs (10 ka)
  245.         Type: Passive
  246.         MP Cost: N/A
  247.         The "body sculptor" stapled some new muscles and tendons to your withered and dessicated leg bones, allowing you to run much faster and longer than before.
  248.         Not that you're in a hurry really, but it gets boring, shuffling around like a... well, like a mummy.
  249.         +50% initiative
  251. Upgraded Arms (20 ka)
  252.         Type: Passive
  253.         MP Cost: N/A
  254.         Ooh yeah! With the addition of powerful new muscles to your withered and dried-out stick arms, you're finally ready for the gun show! Somebody better prepare an evocation ritual to Wadjet the Snake Goddess, because these pythons are sick!
  255.         +50% Muscle
  257. Upgraded Spine (20 ka)
  258.         Type: Passive
  259.         MP Cost: N/A
  260.         You got the body-sculptor guy to upgrade your backbone, and he threw in a jar of derring-do and a stiffer upper lip for free.
  261.         +50% Moxie
  263. Tougher Skin (10 ka)
  264.         Type: Passive
  265.         MP Cost: N/A
  266.         The application of ancient unguents (say that five times fast) has made your skin tough and leathery. (You might have assumed it was like that already, but really it was more along the lines of "thin and parchmenty")
  267.         +100 Damage Absorption
  269. Armor Plating (10 ka)
  270.         Type: Passive
  271.         MP Cost: N/A
  272.         A few chitinous plates (scavenged from the remains of intelligent insect-men whose civilization is now forgotten and lost to the mists of ancient history) bolted to your limbs and torso should help protect you from most forms of physical damage. Also, they make you look super hardcore.
  273.         +10 Damage Reduction
  275. Bone Spikes (20 ka)
  276.         Type: Passive
  277.         MP Cost: N/A
  278.         Thorny bone spikes sprouting all over your body not only look wicked evil, but they also punish those who neglect to keep their distance.
  279.         Look, you're an ancient evil undead king. It's not like you do a lot of hugging.
  280.         +10 physical damage and injures attackers
  282. Arm Blade (20 ka)
  283.         Type: Passive
  284.         MP Cost: N/A
  285.         I bet you never realized that what you wanted most in the world was a razor-sharp sword blade sticking right out of your forearm like a total badass.
  286.         Now you have.
  287.         +5 physical damage and +20% critical hit chance
  289. Healing Scarabs (10 ka)
  290.         Type: Passive
  291.         MP Cost: N/A
  292.         Okay so, this is basically a swarm of beetles that lives all over your body and also inside you.
  293.         Hear me out.
  294.         See, these scarabs are specially trained to keep wounds clean, suture closed lacerations, protect abrasions, and so forth. They can actually repair any damage your body has taken, and you don't even need to feed them, because they just eat dead skin cells and...
  295.         Okay, look, I'll stop describing it -- just trust me, it's a good thing.
  296.         2-4 HP regeneration per adventure
  298. Elemental Wards (10 ka)
  299.         Type: Passive
  300.         MP Cost: N/A
  301.         These ancient sigils tattooed on your skin will help protect you from extremes of temperature, and fear, and um... unpleasant smells? And cat-calls. Somehow.
  302.         +1 resistance to all elements
  304. More Elemental Wards (?)
  305.         Type: Passive
  306.         MP Cost: N/A
  307.         If a few squiggly tattoos can give you better protection from elemental forces, then surely more tattoos will protect you even more betterer, right?
  308.         +2 resistance to all elements
  310. Even More Elemental Wards (?)
  311.         Type: Passive
  312.         MP Cost: N/A
  313.         The tattoo artist says this is the best he can do for you, because he's run out of space to put more tattoos on you, and also exhausted his vocabulary of protective squiggles. In fact, you're pretty sure these last couple are just copied from a Chinese take-out menu.
  314.         +3 resistance to all elements
  316. More Legs (?)
  317.         Type: Passive
  318.         MP Cost: N/A
  319.         Those legs you've got, those are pretty good legs... but how about adding another pair? You could run twice as fast! It's the ultimate in body modification! We'll even throw in a second butt for free!
  320.         +50% initiative
  324. Gifts from Level 21 Servants
  325. ----------------------------
  326. Gift of the Cat
  327.         Type: Passive
  328.         MP Cost: N/A
  329.         Watching your cat stalk and kill small animals in order to present you with bits of them has taught you something valuable: cats are stone-cold murderers.
  330.         Oh and also how to spot treasure I guess.
  331.         Increases item drop rate
  333. Gift of the Dancer
  334.         Type: Passive
  335.         MP Cost: N/A
  336.         Just thinking about your dancer's grace and artistry refreshes your spirit and puts a smile on your face.
  337.         Well, okay, a rictus grin. And you've had it for centuries already, and it's under the bandages where nobody can really see it. But it's the thought that counts.
  338.         MP regeneration
  340. Gift of the Maid
  341.         Type: Passive
  342.         MP Cost: N/A
  343.         Watching your maid at work has improved your attention to detail and the keenness with which you observe your surroundings. Is it because you feel bad for making her pick up after a slob? Or because you suspect she might be keeping the loose change she finds under the couch cushions? I'll leave the answer to that question up to you.
  344.         Improves meat drop rate
  346. Gift of the Bodyguard
  347.         Type: Passive
  348.         MP Cost: N/A
  349.         By watching your bodyguard at work, you've learned a few things about self-defense. The main one being, it's harder for people to attack you when you're standing behind a large rock, brick wall, or other nigh-immovable object.
  350.         Bonus to Damage Absorption
  352. Gift of the Scribe
  353.         Type: Passive
  354.         MP Cost: N/A
  355.         By observing your scribe at work, you've gained valuable knowledge and wisdom. Even your spelling has improved noticably.
  356.         Boost to Mysticality stat gains
  358. Gift of the Priest
  359.         Type: Passive
  360.         MP Cost: N/A
  361.         Listening to your court priest ramble on about the gods has really put you in touch with your spiritual side. It turns out your religion has a lot of gods, and most of them are really violent jerks, so look out, world!
  362.         Improves spell damage
  364. Gift of the Assassin
  365.         Type: Passive
  366.         MP Cost: N/A
  367.         Your court assassin has taught you a thing or two about anatomy. Specifically, the best places to put a knife. You could almost say it has been a pleasure to watch her work, if she wasn't always gone before you'd realized what had happened.
  368.         Improves physical damage and critical hit chance
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