Lich Green Text

It was 1:00am and I was tired.

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>"AH, Finally I, Nalthizar! The lord of bones have been released once more!

>"Stare in awe at my majestic form mortal as I.....I....

>"WHY IN THE SEVEN KINGDOMS DO I HAVE BREASTS AND SKIN?!"

>"Stop laughing mortal! I may have skin and great...tracks of land...but my minions shall strike terror in you!

>Rise Gregor the Black! Rise and slay this pitiful mortal with your....you.....

>.......

>"WHY DOES MY GREATEST CHAMPION A WOMAN NOW!?!? DID THIS HAPPEN TO ALL MY MINIONS!"

>>"Brogar the Bone Crusher?.....also a woman..."

>>"Hilda the Wicked?....Ok she was a woman before but why is she 12 now?"

>>"! The Wight King Morantal, he has never failed me before!!"

>"....He has a WHAT?!? That jackass was loose for a thousand years and is now MARRIED AND HAS A KID?!?"

>"HOW DOES A CORPSE HAVE A KID!?!"

>"Sh-shut up mortal! Feel despair as I summon my most prized servant! The grand skeletal drake Kerest..al....."

>"N-no you idiot fleshling....I am not crying....why would a master of life and death be crying...."

>W-what are you doing mortal?!?

>How dare you pat me on the head?!

>......I didn't tell you to stop...

>I-I shall let you live in my lair for now. I need someone with information on this new era and a mortal agent to go forth into the field for me.

>Hopefully the Vampire Lord Voran still holds sway over the moorlands. He owes me a few fa-......God Dammit...

>>(N) "Hello Lo-Lady Voran! It is I Nalthizar! Lord of Bones, Risen once more to-

>(V)"AH! Master Nalthizar. It is good to see you. Has your rest been most peaceful?"

>(N)"Yes, it has Voran but I have aw-"

>(V)"It's Valerie."

>(N)"...What?"

>(V) "MY name is Valerie now."

>(N) "V-very well Valerie. My rest was most peaceful until this pitiful mortal awakened me. Now I have taken him as my agent of shadow in this new time."

>(V)"Aww, you found a potential husband already? I remember when I met Markus..."

>(N)"Markus? Is that your new thrall?"

>(V)"Thrall? He is my husband."

>(N)"..You too?"

>(V)"We have had a blissful 50 years of marriage and had six wonderful daughters."

>An arrow thunks into the table.

>(V)"ONE OF WHOM WON'T BE GETTING SUPPER TONIGHT!"

>(N) "...I want to go back to the lair..."