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Scootaloo and Michael Jordan work at Cluckin' Bell

Aug 15th, 2014
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  1. >You are Michael Jordan
  2. >After all of your successes in life, shit hit the fan.
  3. >You were removed from both the Bulls after a tragic accident.
  4. >Said accident was when you were traded to San Andreas.
  5. >They were disbanded after a shootout in the parking lot.
  6. >In the meantime, your wife wanted to stay in SA.
  7. >Multiple times you attempted to persuade her to moving back to Chicago.
  8. >But she just never gave in.
  9. >Years have passed, and you’ve run out of Basketball money months ago.
  10. >Your only option was to get a job.
  11. >Said job involved working with a filly named Scootaloo.
  12. >When you were told that, you thought your boss was on some serious shit.
  13.  
  14. >“Scootaloo, please step into my office.”
  15. >Both amazed and confused, you watch a small orange pegasus entered the room.
  16. “Sir, how is this possible?”
  17. >“Hell if I know, but since she’s started here, sales have grown by 15%!”
  18. >You look dumbfounded at the little filly as she blushes a bit
  19. -------------
  20. >Your first day at Cluckin' Bell isn't so bad.
  21. >If it wasn't for that little filly, you could have quit at any point.
  22. >It was just so monotonous.
  23. >There were barely any people at the place whatsoever.
  24. >Although there was this one guy who ordered the largest thing on the menu and scarfed it down right in front of you.
  25. >That was pretty impressive, yet disgusting.
  26.  
  27. >It’s near the end of the day, and you ask Scootaloo how she got here and why she chose to work here.
  28. >"About a week ago, my friends and I barged into Twilight's house. I guess she was practicing a spell, and she accidentally shot me with her magic and put me here."
  29. "Must have been tough for you."
  30. >"It was, and the boss saw me on the street and offered me this job. I guess it was because of these."
  31. >She nods to her wings.
  32. >"So... what did you do before this?
  33. -------------
  34. >You begin to think back to happier times.
  35. >The Toons, the feeling of a 3-pointer.
  36. >Tears begin to form, and Scootaloo notices
  37. >"Oh, I'm so sorry! Is this a sore subject?"
  38. "No, it was just better than this."
  39. >You start your story with when you joined the Chicago Bulls, and end it when you were traded.
  40. >It's well past the shifts of both you and Scootaloo, and you were just sitting in a booth.
  41. "I bet it doesn't beat your story, huh?"
  42. >"I guess it doesn't."
  43. >She just stares at you as you idly look out the window.
  44. >"I guess I should be going now."
  45. >You watch her wiggle out of the booth and exit out of the restaurant.
  46. >A quick look at your watch says that you should get going too.
  47. >As you enter your car, you put in the Space Jam CD.
  48.  
  49. >You pull up into your driveway and leave the car.
  50. >When you open the front door, a familiar voice calls to you.
  51. >"How was your day honey?"
  52. "It was better than I thought it was going to be."
  53. >You go to bed whilst thinking about how much you hate your wife right now.
  54. >What did she see in this place? It was helluva lot worse than Chicago.
  55. >You drift to sleep.
  56. -----------------------------
  57. >Your dreams include slams and jams.
  58. >The alarm on your nightstand goes off.
  59. >You get off the bed and push the alarm button.
  60. >Getting ready for work is a blur, and you find yourself in the parking lot.
  61. >At least you can get to know more about Scootaloo, right?
  62. >Thankfully, it helps pass the time between customers.
  63. >You learn more about her world, and vice versa.
  64. >You haven't reached the subject on guns and killing yet.
  65. >You begin to tell her about slamjams.
  66. >She's just speechless the entire way through.
  67. >You finish and ask her if she has any questions.
  68. >"Can you teach me how to play basketball?"
  69. >You were expecting this question.
  70. "I don't know, wouldn't flying be cheating?"
  71. >She gets a sad look in her eye.
  72. "You know I'm just kidding, right?"
  73. >She's still looking upset about something.
  74. >"I... can't fly."
  75. >Well fuck.
  76. >How the hell were you supposed to know?
  77. "It's fine, I can't fly either."
  78. >"You’re so much bigger than I am!"
  79. "I'm sure you will grow, and also fly, as you get older."
  80. >She has a hopeful glisten in her eyes.
  81. "We'll play after work, okay?"
  82. >She very quickly nods her head with a smile.
  83. >Why is she so damn cute?
  84. -----------------------------
  85. >Nothing much happens after that.
  86. >When work is over for the day, you hold out the door for Scoots.
  87. >She thanks you with a blush.
  88. >You unlock your door as you’re walking to the car.
  89. >Scootaloo speeds ahead of you.
  90. >Sounds of exasperation come from her as she tries to open the door.
  91. >”Why are these so hard to open?”
  92. “They were made for human hands.”
  93. >You open the door for her once again.
  94. >”I could have done it myself, you know.”
  95. “I sped up the process.”
  96. >She gives you a quick glare, and then giggles.
  97. >”I guess you’re right.”
  98. >She begins to look at all of the buttons and gauges in the car.
  99. >”What does this button do?
  100. >You see an orange hoof turn on the CD player.
  101. >As it turns out, the Space Jam album is still in the CD player.
  102. >You hum along to it, but Scoots is just looking around to find the source of the music.
  103. “There are speakers all in the car, just so you know.”
  104. >After the initial shock, she does a small dance.
  105. >You swear, she’s doing this on purpose.
  106. >While listening to the Album, she asks about everything in the car.
  107. >You are happy to answer.
  108.  
  109. >You park near a barren basketball court.
  110. “You ready?”
  111. >”Of course!”
  112. >It feels great to slam and jam with Scootaloo.
  113. >She’s a fast learner.
  114. >Her wings flutter to help her dunk.
  115. >You have to admit, she’s getting good.
  116. >As she’s finishes her final dunk, you head over to a nearby bench.
  117. “I think we’ve played enough for today.”
  118. >”What? So soon?
  119. “It’s 8:32 at night, Scoots.”
  120. >”Fine, you’re no fun.”
  121. -------------------------------------------
  122. >The ride home is a bit more calm.
  123. >Wait a moment…
  124. >Where does she live?
  125. “So, where do you live at the moment?”
  126. >She looks to the floorboards.
  127. >”I don’t have a home.”
  128. >Why did you expect this cruel town to give her a home?
  129. “Then, where do you go after work?”
  130. >”The alley behind Cluckin’ Bell.
  131. >Fuck.
  132. >She’s slept in that alley for a week?
  133. “Why don’t you stay at my place?”
  134. >You can feel the happiness ooze from her.
  135. >”Yes! Yes please!”
  136. >You grin back at her.
  137. >”Before we do that, can we go back to Cluckin’ Bell?”
  138. “Why’s that?”
  139. >”Just some things I need to grab, is that okay with you?”
  140. “Of course.”
  141. >She’s brung stuff from her world?
  142. >Hopefully magic things.
  143.  
  144. >You follow Scootaloo to her alley.
  145. >Nobody seems to mind the small filly.
  146. >You guess word about the filly spread fast.
  147. >Facing the alley, it’s everything you expected.
  148. >Well, almost everything.
  149. >It’s dark, damp, and dreary, just like you thought.
  150. >But a small red cape with a pony sewed into it is on the ground.
  151. >What does it mean?
  152. “What’s that cape for?”
  153. >”It’s from a group my friends and I were in.”
  154. “Oh? And what is this group called?”
  155. >”The Cutie Mark Crusaders.”
  156. >She sadly smiles at the cape.
  157. ---------------------------------------------
  158. >You can’t help but feel bad for the filly.
  159. “Should we get going?”
  160. >”Yeah, let’s go.”
  161.  
  162. >Your wife is standing in the driveway.
  163. >”Where the hell have you been, Michael?”
  164. “Playing some B-ball, why do you ask?”
  165. >”And you come back at 9 p.m?”
  166. “Yes, I did.”
  167. >She should know how much you love to slam and jam.
  168. “Yvette, honey, you need to calm down.”
  169. >”Why should I calm down?”
  170. >The orange filly’s hiding behind your legs.
  171. “You’re scaring Scootaloo.”
  172. >”What the hell is a Scootaloo?”
  173. >You motion to the bit of purple hair sticking out behind you.
  174. >The young pegasus steps out and gives a nervous smile.
  175. >”This is what you got me worried for?”
  176. “I guess so.”
  177. >”So you chose this…”
  178. “Pony.”
  179. >”Over me?”
  180. >What the hell is she talking about?
  181. -------------------------------------------------
  182. “What do you mean?”
  183. >”Why didn’t you at least call?”
  184. “I was giving her Basketball lessons.”
  185. >”That doesn’t answer my question.”
  186. “Scootaloo needs somewhere to stay.”
  187. >”Michael, you know we can’t afford another mouth to feed.”
  188. “And who’s fault is that?”
  189. >Yvette gives you a glare.
  190. >”You’re not blaming ME, are you?”
  191. “Yes, why didn’t we just move back to Chicago?”
  192. >”It’s nice here, honey.”
  193. “There’s nothing for us here.”
  194. >”Of course there is! There’s the beach, th-”
  195. “I meant moneywise, there’s no basketball team that I can join, and Clucken’ Bell pays jack shit.”
  196. >In the back of your head, a voice says you shouldn’t swear in front of Scootaloo.
  197. >This’ll be a long night.
  198.  
  199. 4 months later…
  200. >You still can’t believe that you had to divorce your wife when you needed money.
  201. >At least Scootaloo kept you company in such a large mansion.
  202. >Life on 2700 Point Dr was getting back to normal.
  203. >Air Jordans were back in business, and the Bulls.
  204. >And Scootaloo was offered a scholarship because of her slams and jams.
  205. >Life was good.
  206. >It was better than good.
  207. >It was the jamminest.
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