Clumsy Samurai

Yooooooooooo!

As Clumsy traipsed through the peaceful countryside with rice growing in every direction, she swore she could hear a koto playing together with her stride. Her loose two-toned kimono allowed the morning breeze to cool her under the furiously hot Japanese sun. At her waist was her most prized possession and most deadly weapon, a sparkling katana with a blood red and ebony black hilt.

Clumsy was leaving the big city of Tokyo in search of work. As an unpledged ronin, she needed to find a village that would hire her or she might starve. Luckily for Clumsy, such a village existed down the dirt path she walked. Coming up the path was a village girl, a kuwa held over her shoulder, who needed Clumsy's help.

"Help us, oh brave samurai!" Shouted the blonde haired girl. "I am but a humble farmer, and I know not how to save my village."

"What seems to be the problem little girl?" asked Clumsy, proud that she could be of use.

"Our village well has been poisoned!" replied the girl.

Irritated, Clumsy rebuked the girl. "What makes you think I can help with a poisoned well?"

As though someone might be listening, the girl placed a hand beside her mouth and whispered in a hushed tone. "We believe it was poisoned by a ghost."

A puzzled look came to Clumsy's face. "A ghost you say?" Her eyebrows lowered and her pursed lips changed to a grin."Just my specialty! What is your name girl?"

The girl was elated by the samurai's response. "Call me Penny!"

Together, the farmer Penny and the samurai Clumsy made their way into the nearby village. A deathly silence filled the air. All the houses had their doors and windows covered. In the center of the village stood a lonely well; it was sealed with wooden planks and had a large stone on top of it.

Clumsy stared at the well with intense interest. "So what makes you think that the well has a ghost in it?"

Standing behind Clumsy, as though to hide herself, a nervous Penny explained. "It all started a few nights ago. Otherworldly moans were heard coming from the well, a stench that reeked of corpses permeated the entire village, and when we drew water from the well the next morning, it came out pitch black."

Clumsy's adrenaline soared at the frightening description, but not out of fear. "That sounds like a ghost alright. Give me some room. I'll draw it out and send it to hell with my almighty demonic sword!"

A very low ominous voice whispered to them from the inside of the sealed well. "You... think... you... can... defeat... me..."

With a sound like thunder, all the planks and the stone holding them burst from the well. In their place stood a tall shadowy figure. The ominous whisper turned to a roar. "I AM THE MOST POWERFUL GHOST IN ALL OF JAPAN!"

Clumsy stared down the ghost. Her right hand reached for her sword and she pulled it from its sheath. With the blade pointed at the ghost, she spoke. "If you weren't the most powerful, it wouldn't be a challenge."

"Wait, Clumsy," said the ghost. "Put down the blade."

Clumsy was confused, "Merula, I never told you my name yet."

"Timeout!" shouted the ghost.

With that word, the scenery around Clumsy returned to its original form. The sun blazing in the blue sky became a chandelier hanging from a stone roof. The well transformed into a bed. The village itself transformed into all the furniture and features of a Hufflepuff dorm room. Clumsy's fiery kimono turned into her school robes. Finally, the shadowy figure that was a ghost turned into Merula covered in a bed sheet.

From beneath the bed sheet came a voice. "Clumsy, I really don't think you should be using a real sword. You're going to hurt me."

Clumsy was not happy. "Merula, when we invited you to the sleepover, you agreed you'd play by our rules. Just because I fail a spell or fall down every once in a while doesn't mean I'm going to hurt you on purpose. I'm not dumb. I'll just swing the sword half way."

Penny interjected. "Merula has a point Clumsy. Just because you don't mean to, doesn't mean you won't accidentally hurt her. That is why I'm using a mop as my weapon instead of a gardening tool."

Clumsy was on the verge of tears "I'm not dangerous! My dad got me this for my birthday and it's really cool, please don't make me put it away."

Penny consoled the sad Clumsy, "Maybe you can just use the sheath. The sheath is still pretty cool looking."

Deciding to be unusually helpful, Merula chimed in. "Yeah, the sheath even has a dragon carved on it, just use that."

Clumsy relented."I guess you are right. Fine, let's just get back to the fight." She placed her unsheathed katana on a nearby dresser and the three girls returned to the Japanese village scene.

The ominous whisper turned to a roar. "I AM THE MOST POWERFUL GHOST IN ALL OF JAPAN!"

Clumsy stared down the ghost. Using both of her hands, she gripped one end of her dragon slayer sheath and pointed the other end at the ghost. "If you weren't the most powerful, it wouldn't be a challenge."

"No, you can't fight it alone! Allow me to help," said Penny drawing her kuwa.

The ghost roared, "I will destroy you!"

Battle ensued for many minutes until the ghost was forced to a wall, the two attackers pointed their weapons at the ghost and a winded Clumsy spoke. "You cannot defeat us when we work as a team. Say your goodbyes ghost, before I send you to the after life."

The panting ghost was tired, but would never admit defeat. "Maybe as a team you are unstoppable, but what if you are alone foolish samurai?!"

Penny's eyes turned black and she clutched her head in discomfort. "Run Clumsy... I... can't... hold... her... back!" With those final words, Penny turned her kuwa toward Clumsy and took a swing.

The ghost roared in laughter. "Hahaha! Now it is you who is outnumbered samurai!"

Clumsy retreated as she dodged the wild swings coming from the possessed Penny. The ghost swung at her too with its shadowy arms, forcing Clumsy to use her remaining concentration on parrying. Step by step, Clumsy was pushed away from her strong position, but she did not despair.

"You think me defeated ghost? I am not so easily beaten. Behold, my most powerful technique." Clumsy shifted her sheath to her left hand and reached for something behind her with her right hand. Grabbing it, her weary expression turned to one of confidence. "The demonic-sword-dragon-sheath-dual-wield-super-attack!"

Clumsy lunged forward, but her foot caught on her kimono.

""Clumsy!""

"My eye!"