full-on Truman Show level fake and Luci

from /hhg/ Helluva Hotel general #766
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>A human dies
>Their soul passes into a dark, dark place
>Then they see a light, far away in the distance
>They slowly amble toward it, the brightness growing and growing until they're almost afraid they might burn right up if they get any closer
>As they step into the light, their eyes adjust and they find themselves standing amidst cotton ball clouds in a pristine blue sky
>A figure is there waiting for them
>A beautiful being, like a golden-haird china doll, dressed all in gleaming white

>"Welcome"

>The figure holds his hand out, smiling

>"Welcome to your eternal reward."

>They take the figure's hand
>And he tosses them like a rag doll
>Holy shit he's strong
>They sail through the air and land
>Hard
>On filthy concrete heaped with cigarette butts and bottle caps like poppy seeds on a bagel, staring up at the sky
>The clouds are gone
>The sky isn't blue anymore
>It's blood red, and there's a huge pentagram stretched across it like the world's edgiest piece of skywriting
>The figure steps into their field of vision
>He's grinning
>He's got teeth like a shark

>"Welcome..."
>"...to HELL"
>"Jackass"

>He starts singing this, while imps and succubi crowd around to taunt the newest demon

h ttps://youtu.be/4ADY7FGtwmM

Lucifer set up a full-on Truman Show level fake Heaven just to screw with incoming sinners whenever he gets bored. I'm not even mad, I'm just impressed.
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post Luci
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>anything short of chridt or God himself attacking lucifer.
Only once an arch angel ever did and he was scared from it. Lmao
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Michael kicked Lucy's ass easily and could do it again
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>be god
>notice one of your higher ranked angels is starting some rebellion against you
>his name is lucian or lazius or something
>something about humans and overrepresentation or something
>"ehh"
>you're pretty sure the other angels will resolve the issue, Mikey or Mikhael or whatever his name is tends to be good at these things
>go back to work making another mosquito variant to add to the Earth, but with a larger proboscis

>this rebellion has not died down
>confirmed that when you found a spear lodged into one of your walls
>and some dead angel at its base
>"urgh"
>decide to resolve the ongoing rebellion by walking outside
>"where's that little gremlin"

>you quickly finds lucifer leading some kind of siege on one of the cooler buildings in heaven
>decide to intervene to hurry this up
>"if you set up some fortifications on the right side wall you'd get inside much faster"
>"huh, you think that'lll ........ er, god?"
>everyone awkwardly cranes their necks towards you

>urgh, I hate this kind of attention

>proceed to inform lucifer his services are no longer required
>inform lucifer he and his followers have been promoted to become the caretakers of a new place called hell
>you kick him on the bottom, which sends him careening out of heaven, his followers instantly dissipate alongside him

>"Micha, clean this mess up"
>"my names Michael"
>"good work Michele"

>proceed to return to making more mosquitos
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>be god
>"we do a little trolling around here"