World without Internet

I would choke on the last of Olive Garden's breadsticks as Hell breaks loose around me. 5-year-old children are screaming in anger and terror as their Mickey Mouse cartoons suddenly turn off. Basic White bitches create a stampede towards the last Pumpkin Spice Latte and the fat men tip their fedoras as they enter the basement one last time. Darkness and terror spread across the Earth. There's nothing but our inevitable doom now. The horror spreads and North Korea nukes itself. Jesus comes back to Earth and sees the true chaos. There is no saving our Earth. Satan comes and burns the Earth once and for all. The demons rule this Earth now. There's nothing left except for our deepest, darkest fears. Canada has lost its last maple syrup bottle in World War 3,872 and America loses the power of its army. There's nothing left. As the flames spread, Great Britain is taken over by the starving, rabid communists. France finally gives up on itself. Spain begins its last Inquisition. The black plague and smallpox wiped out 75% of the population and goats devour another 10%. All feel pain. All feel suffering. All of the world's animals go rabid. The world becomes nothing but deep, dark caverns of overgrown plants and rabid, mutated animals of which we once loved.