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- >By the time you got home, it was already past noon. As you popped open the door, your stomach gave a loud growl
- >Rainbow kicked a record player near the entrance, and the needle fell to the record
- >It was some pretty generic 70's-ish rock, but it fit the mood well enough
- >Something about a city and manure. Whatever, you figured Rainbow to have some weird fetishes
- >She walked into the kitchen and opened her refridgerator, looking around and moving various energy drinks to the side
- >Man, you'd kill for a cheese burger right now.
- >"A burger, huh? I think I got the stuff for that."
- >Holy shit she's a cannibal
- >She pulled out two patties, but a closer inspection saw them to just be compressed vegetables and mushrooms
- >Oh, that makes sense. And is slightly disappointing.
- >Rainbow dropped them on the counter and looked up. "What the hay do they make burgers out of where you're from?"
- >Shit.
- "Orphans and crushed dreams."
- >Fluttershy tilted her head. "Really?"
- >You nod.
- "They have to be pre-abused or their tears made it all soggy."
- >She gasped "Y-...you're joking, right?"
- >"I'm pretty sure he's joking, 'Shy."
- "Oh, yeah, I am...mostly."
- >Dash put the patties in a pan on the stove, and floated up to a cabinet, pulling out two plates
- >They were square. What a fucking hipster.
- "Dash I'm disappointed in you."
- >"Yeah yeah, don't blame me."
- "Who should I blame? How the FUCK did you get this house?! Did you kill someone?"
- >Rainbow smacked you in the forehead. Ow. That hurts with hooves. "Look, my parents got it for me."
- >
- "So you didn't win it in a high stakes race through the kessel run?"
- >"No."
- "And you didn't pull a greased lightning on it?"
- >"Nope."
- "Wow. That's really fuckin' boring."
- >"Yep. 'Shy, get the buns."
- "And by buns she means her butt. Because she's gay."
- >"Fuck you, Anon."
- >You look in the window over the oven, stick your tongue out in the reflection, and giggle
- >You've been too nice.
- >There are so many opportunities to go above and beyond the call of the asshole
- >She pulls out a spatula and flips the patties, while Flutters prepares the rest
- >They must have done this a hundred times before. As cute as it is to imagine filly Flutters and Dash, you sigh
- >You kind of regret not having a lifelong friend like that with you
- >You can sense a feeling of pity cross over from Rainbow's mind to yours, but she doesn't say anything
- >Neither do you. You don't really feel a need to expound any further, the conversation is already complete
- >It doesn't matter. You've got at least two friends now. Better than you were doing in your last few months.
- >Despite the soreness of your face from the day's events, you can't help but to smile as you gaze out the window to the sky
- "So who's worst pony?"
- >Shy looks up, accidentally dropping the mustard on the counter. "What?"
- "Worst pony. Of the six of you, who is worst?"
- >Fluttershy picked up a paper towel and cleaned the counter. "I don't understand."
- "Which one of you is a shit?"
- >"I-I don't think any of us are doo-doo."
- "You honestly don't believe one of you is the worst?"
- >"No!"
- "Tell me, little child. Give me the right answer, and you get a gift. Give me the wrong answer, and you are dead to me."
- >She starts to shake her head and open her mouth, but you interrupt her.
- "SPEAK, FLUTTERS! Do you believe it's RARITY, or do you believe it's APPLEJACK?"
- >She shrinks. "I-I don't--"
- "Do you believe in THAT WHICH YOU CAN SEE, or INFANTILE FANTASY?!"
- >You grab a butterknife she was using
- "TELL ME, best pony! I've got a knife! Do you believe in fucking knives?!"
- >She squeaked and stepped back, flaring her wings
- "Which is it?!"
- >"Rarity is my friend, and so is Appl--"
- "So it's Applejack?!"
- >As you complete that last sentence, the itching begins again, and your fur starts to shift color into a light blue.
- "That wasn't a hour and a half at all. Rarity a shit."
- >You drop the mic. Knife. Whatever.
- >
- >
- >"Holy shit, Anon."
- "Dash, this is how I cope. It's an ancient ritual of my people."
- >The smell of cooking food reaches your attention again and you turn to the food. It's just about done.
- >You take the spatula and move the patties to the buns, in the otherwise silent room.
- >You hand Fluttershy her plate
- "I'll give you the gift anyways, for being a good sport."
- >After a moment, she takes it.
- >If your face and ribs didn't hurt so much, you would have been on the floor gasping for breath
- >Luckily, it looks like you played it cool. And who knows, if they buy it, you'll be getting away with a lot more
- >You take your own plate and walk to the table, awkwardly sitting on the chair.
- >It's not like it's completely a lie, after all. You have always relieved stress by being a huge prick.
- >Although usually there was no one listening.
- >You take a bite and watch Fluttershy place her plate and sit down. "Um...ancient ritual?"
- "Yup."
- >You swallow. Fluttershy coughs.
- >"Your people...?"
- "Fat, friendless, unwashed, autistic, that sort of stuff."
- >You take another bite, and think for a moment.
- "Basically me except without the cute exterior I'm afforded sharing a body with ponies. So, a completely terrible existance."
- >You smile softly. You can feel Rainbow poking at the borders of your mind, but she seems to have been thrown off
- >"...That's nice."
- "No it isn't."
- >
- "Pretty sucky."
- >You take another bite, and before you can really enjoy it, Rainbow swallows.
- >"Uhhh, Anon? Are you okay?"
- "Yeah."
- >No
- >You're not sure why. You're not sure when it started, either, but you feel kind of terrible.
- >Even being a crazy dick didn't really help.
- >Fluttershy was staring at you. She seemed almost pitying. "You seem angry, Anon."
- "A little."
- >You are?
- >Now that you think about it, you actually feel really mad. You're not sure what you're mad at
- >Dash readjusted your posture and looked around the room. "Why?"
- "I want to be alone."
- >Across the table, Fluttershy's big blue eyes kept staring into you. "Did we do something wrong?"
- >You sigh and lean forward onto the table.
- "No."
- >Your mind was ablaze, trying to figure out what caused your sudden shift in mood
- >You could tell Rainbow was doing the same, and you didn't even need to share Flutters' mind to know she was as well
- >You look around the room. It was bright and sparkly, and the sun was just starting to shine through the window
- >Everything about the place seemed idyllic.
- >"What's wrong?"
- >You couldn't even tell who asked, you just shut your eyes and covered your face.
- >You could feel hot tears welling up in the corners of your eyes
- >The incessant buzzing in your ears mercifully ended, and was replaced by nothing but your shuddering breaths.
- >You finally hear hoofsteps as Fluttershy moves closer. "Anon?"
- >You look up, and can't help but notice the blue surrounding your snout and the strands of multi-hued hair in your vision
- "I lost so much fucking time, Flutters."
- >She didn't seem to know what to say, and put her hoof on your back.
- "I'll never get to experience so much. And everything I was is completely gone, now."
- >You hide your face in your arms again.
- "I'm just a prick. That's all I've got. I don't even have my own body."
- >Fluttershy hushed you and leaned in. "I can't imagine how you feel. I'm very sorry, Anon."
- >'Hey, don't worry. You got us now, right?'
- >Even her mental voice sounded unsure. 'Besides, we'll get you a body tomorrow, right?'
- "A jar. I'll get a jar. I'll just be a fuckin' jar for the rest of my life."
- >Fluttershy pulled your face up, looking into your eyes.
- >"Sweetie, I know what it feels like to have missed out on things. I spent most my life trying to avoid people."
- >You start to look away, but she pulls you back. "It's really hard to think about, I know. But you have to let that go."
- >You bite your tongue and take a sharp breath. For a few moments, she simply looks into your eyes.
- >Before you know what you're doing, you lean forward and kiss her, only for a second, before pulling back with a smile
- "Thanks, Flutters. I'll try to pull it together."
- >You hear a loud ringing in your ears, and your smile wavers for a moment. Fluttershy herself pales
- >Oh, that's an alarm bell.
- >Oh.
- >OH SHIT
- >Rainbow pulls herself away and spits on the floor, coughing. When you look back up, Fluttershy is still frozen
- >"GOD DAMNIT, ANON! The fuck is wrong with you?!"
- >Fluttershy looked to the ground. "M-my first kiss..."
- >You can't help yourself but fall off the chair, breaking into a shrill hyena-like laugh, even though your throat burns
- >After several minutes, it finally dies down, tears still running down your face.
- "Man, being alive is so fucking awesome."
- >You stand up, and wipe the tears off your face, grinning.
- >You can still feel Rainbow silently decaying from the inside out in true mortification.
- >Fluttershy, on the other hand, was mumbling under her breath, unfocused eyes darting around
- >Having friends is more fun than you expected. And you expected a lot
- >You climb back on the chair, and pick up your burger, going for another bite, before Rainbow pulls your head back
- >"No! No, no, you don't just go from doing that to eating! THat's not how this works!"
- "Sorry, Rainbow. I didn't know you were so experienced at kissing your childhood friends. I should have guessed, though."
- >She grits her teeth. "I'm not! You--just, you--!"
- >You shove veggie burger in your face to shut her up. It has a side effect of being tasty.
- >You turn to Fluttershy. You would give the thumbs up if you could. That makes everything okay.
- >She seems to have gotten through here pale-faced shock and is now hiding behind her hair, shaking
- >You pat her on the head in the most patronizing way you can muster, while chewing
- >Man, your face is tired.
- "If it makes you feel any better, that was my first lesbian kiss too."
- >You can feel the heat in her cheeks from here, and she squeaks. You swallow
- "Adorable."
- >Rainbow raises her arms. "We just--You--You can't just immediately--That's just, n-..."
- >
- "So what movie are we gonna watch?"
- >Fluttershy shook her head. "W-wait, what?! How can you just change subject like that?"
- >You shrug and look at the table.
- "I dunno. I feel like I've been stir crazy for so long. I'm so unused to this stuff, I keep getting distracted by the possibilities."
- >A last wayward tear runs down your cheek.
- "But I kind of feel like if I go with the flow, things'll turn out alright. You guys have that effect on me."
- >You look back up and sigh happily.
- "At least I get the chance to make up for some of that lost time. More has happened in the last week than most years of my living days."
- >After a moment, Fluttershy nodded in understanding. "I think I get it."
- "Still kind of sucks not to be able to be a kid again, though. Maybe I can live vicariously through Rainbow's memories.
- >Dash straightened up. "Wait, what?"
- >You close your eyes and try to enter into the vaults of her childhood.
- "Let's see where that first experimental night with dad's magazines started everything."
- >"FUCK you, Anon!"
- >You cackle, and a voice from your right rang through the room. "Ooooh, you're Dashie and Nonny!"
- >You turn, and a pink earthpony is standing in the doorway.
- >You feel Dash's heart drop. "Pinkie, how much did you see?"
- >"You aren't gonna ask how I'm in your house?" She frowned. "I was looking forward to that."
- >Fluttershy's normally softspoken voice turned somewhat cold. "How much did you see?"
- >"Oh, don't worry you two! I already guessed you two were together! I won't tell anyone, though."
- "How could you possibly guess Fluttershy and I were a couple, you fucking witch?"
- >Her eyes widened. "Oooooh. No, I guessed it was Dashie and Fluttershy. Oh well!"
- >"Why the hell does everyone think I'm gay for her?!" Dash screamed at the ceiling in frustration.
- "To be fair, it is the best ship. Even if that makes me a cuck, I gotta admit that."
- >Fluttershy opened her mouth without making sound for a moment. "...Ship?"
- >Rainbow tilted her head. "Cuck?"
- "Fucking newfags."
- >
- >Pinkie took a breath. "So first I had to go really quick to Twilight for a cloudwalking potion, but I got back just in time to see you--"
- "Pinkie, you just wanna watch some shitty movies?"
- >She sighed. "Sure, sounds good."
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