Gurashi's Letter on wanting to be Beloved

Many greetings, most Dearest and Esteemed members of the Shadow Court, and fellow friends and family of the Glomdoring,

It is me - Gurashi An'Ryshe! And on this day, am writing to you with a maybe-impossible request. Am hoping that you will take the time to read what have to say, and why it has brought me to a point where would even think to ask such a thing from you.

I am asking permissions from the Shadow Court to join the Beloved of the Shofets, Mysrai. But most importantly, am asking to do this, while also keeping the Glomdoring as my beloved home.

I have already approached Our Lady of Roses, and Her exact-ish words were: "You will tell Glomdoring that wish to join the Thousandfold. What they do to you is up to them." She has already expressed Her feelings, yes, and I accept whole-heartedly my punishment for hurting Her feelings. Which leaves me in your hands.

If have not already lost you, would like to ask that you give me your time, and read my story about Friend Aschwar, of the Beloved - and of Miss Sebitti - and what it is about these peoples that has drawn me to write this maybe-impossible request.

My friend Aschwar is the Shofets's High Priest, and they are a very nice persons. You used to know them as Friend Liar, but that was just their nickname until they were ready to tell everyone their REAL name. Anyway - they are a tae'dae, but they are something much more powerful than just a regular tae'dae, yes. They come from a place very, very far away, somewhere where they were a prisoner to a very bad persons (**scribbled above this line in italic lettering: Emperor of Flesh? has a WORM**). So far away, it is not even the same reality. Many concepts in the Basin are entirely foreign to them, and so every experience has been like their very first as a free persons.

First met them at the Serenwilde's Festival, if only for a minute (may remember there was some spectacle regarding Mister Feoragan influencing Friend Aschwar into attacking enemies at the event... it was disappointing!) The encounter was so brief. But I had had a good time, and when I went to leave they gave me some very kind and sage and advice that was grateful for, even if did not understand it back then.

Shortly thereafter, was reached out to by the Beloved, because Friend Aschwar was traveling the Basin, and going to all of the different organizations and learning how to become the very best of Priests by learning each place's own Truths. And, they reached out to me! To teach them the Glomdoring's. And it was exciting, yes it was. Got to teach them how to bake cookies for their friends that they made elsewhere, and tell them about the Glomdoring, and it was just the BEST time! Mixter Esei was there! So was Xenthos, and a few other peoples from around the alliance.

I was grateful for them giving me their time, and for choosing me to represent the Glomdoring for them, and I did not expect to hear much more from it, but THEN they had one of the orange thieves (**scribbled above: Friend Akuuko)** dictate a letter ... and, from there, we became more than ambassadors from our respective homes: we became friends, yes. Very dear friends!!

Friend Aschwar remind me lots of myself. They are very tall, and kind of scary looking at first glance, but once you greet them they are so very nice! So nice. They also want very much to take care of the peoples close to them, and that especially means the Shofets. I am understanding this: all that want in the whole wide world is to protect the peoples that care about. And the Shofets guided them when they were lost, like the Wyrd guided me in my times after the Portal, yes. They also have powers that are super duper big and have to do with big brain stuff! It is because of them that I found the courage to repair my antennae, and reconnect with the hive to be able to do my OWN big brain stuff, which has been ... interesting! Is big learning experience. Psionics are very hard. But kephera are supposed to be some of the best big brain races out there, so expect to be very good soon, yes!

Friend Aschwar was my very first RSVP to the Solstice in Glomdoring celebration. When the Lady of Roses asked me to invite Her Cousins, said I could invite the Shofets to judge, and did, and if you remember the Shofets CAME! And Friend Aschwar came with. And once taught them what Solstice was about, Friend Aschwar even made me a very special solstice present of my own! It was very kind of them, yes. The Shofets even called my song during the festival -interesting-. So nice!

After the festival, things got really busy, and fell out of touch for a few months... when sent my next letter, Friend Akuuko told me that Friend Aschwar was asleep. Like, ASLEEP asleep. Nothing would wake them up! Not magics or water to the face, healers, pinches. Mentioned before that they were powerful, and apparently someone hurt them deeply with words, and they lashed out with BIG BRAIN energies, and it was very big and loud and powerful, and so the Shofets helped put them to sleep, but it was -too- much sleep and NOBODY could wake them up. And even the Beloveds were having troubles making any progress!

But, when -I- went to visit them, with Friend Tsakali - the friend that told Glomdoring's Truths to - I played my musics, and, we saw a whole real vision! And, we saw into Friend Aschwar's sleepy brain, and they were dreaming about all the nice memories that had when were in the Glomdoring. They saw my song in colors, in their mind - it was very beautiful, yes. Very moving, deeply in my heart. It was the furthest anyone had come to reaching them, so was very significant, yes. And even far, far away, beyond where we could not reach them, they remembered the Glomdoring, and our time together, yes!

And another time, while they slept, visited with dearest Friend Shulamit - and Mixter Esei, too - and, we saw MORE of Friend Aschwar's visions, this time of their -past-. Such a sad past. One they have moved on from really well, think! For somebody who has had many sad sufferings, they have been able to embrace these horrible things and move on from them and still be -so good-. Is very inspiring, yes. **the start of a line has been scratched out several times: "Black Sorrow"**

When they DID come back all their POWERS were gone!! And, they don't know what happened, and -I- certainly do not know what happened. Tridemon from New Celest projected some magic telepathy things with psionics, and he said that Friend Aschwar was like... uhm, he said: there was an empty space. Like spreading water over floor for mopping, but, Friend Aschwar's spot is a drain! So weird! And, Bizirik, my sweet friend, yes? You know her, we are together often. SHE is a natural empath because she is the BEST of girls, and her trying to be empathy-y around Friend Aschwar got her tiny bit ZAPPED. So even though Friend Aschwar cannot see the world like they once did, and hear things like they used to (**scribbled above this line again in tinier font: empath like Bizi? why see my song in PINK??***) something is protecting them from being... looked at, with big brain things. It is like they are being hidden? And we can only speculate it is BECAUSE they are so important, yes, this very good friend of mine.

They have not been themselves as of late, and it has been hard to watch them see only the world for its meanness at times. Everyone must deal with this lesson: that the Basin is a mean-y place, and probably all places are not so great. The Undervault was not so great either. Their big brain powers are still broke, and that is sad. But even though these things make them so sad, they still do what they need to do. They ALWAYS do. They even invited me and Mixter Esei and Tridemon and Friend Shulamit and Friend Alary to watch them destroy the Book of the Shofets - the very Book of Mysrai! They BURNED it up! Because they remembered all of the stories inside without needing to look, like a good priest could do. And then they told us a -story- ...

Am realizing now cannot ... express quite in words the feelings that felt when saw what saw - what heard, in the Divine tongue that Friend Aschwar spoke. But know that the Shofets of this world left our reality and our time - using timequakes, of all things - to look for Someone They lost. I know that they DID find Her, but could not reach Her. And that was very hard. But even while grieving, They fought many battles and gave all that They had in Them,  until they found the Other Place. The place Friend Aschwar saw Them and reached out and helped Them where no one else could. And They promised to protect them and be good to them and help them leave the world they were trapped in, the world ruled by Emperor of Flesh, and bring them here - to us! To Our Basin. Our here and now, yes. And thought that was so big of Them - even though were Divine, They got help, and became stronger because of it. But They are still not fully healed. And even though They are hurting, They helped Mister Lord Silence manage his pain from the Lady Bloom's stupid curse, and THAT says a lot, think. Also think They know something about the big scary 'Abyss' (**several question marks, the word circled**), and the inevitable that comes with it, and think we - specifically, me - needs to help Them, so They are ready for it. We are ready for it.

If you are still with me, realize you are probably thinking, 'wow, what a crazy story, Gurashi - that is many things. But why would any of this bring you to feel need to go so far as to ask to become Beloved?' Maybe something like that. And agree, is totally NUTS.

Then I got a ghost.

**Gurashi has taken the time to draw his very best ghost, looking more like a teardrop with a frowny face and sticks for arms. A single arrow leading away from the doodle reads: MISS SEBITTI**

A few months ago, not more than a day or so after received the Lady of Roses's answer... a ghost appeared in my living room. Kind of like the ones that see on the island, yes. And, she - it was a GIRL ghost - she started talking, and she was lost, and it became pretty quickly apparent that I could understand her words but Tridemon could not. And she said she was from somewhere FAR away (**scribbled above: another reality!**). Someone CALLED her here, though they are not here. She said ASH, and THOUGHT meant Friend Aschwar, but there is reason to believe that maybe she is referring to the Shofets's lost sister, the Thousand Hued? Do not know. Might also be a THIRD Ash - still working on it.

And then... she went inside of me!!

It is hard to describe the feeling of having a guest?? A ghost guest. I am already familiar with having other thoughts in my brain because of the Hives, and guess am grateful that that preparation made the ghost's presence... less jarring. Thought would be really scary, but, she is so nice! She is a very nice ghost, yes, and her presence is very warm and gentle, and she worries about me when I am distressed, and her presence feels just like Friend Aschwar's. And that brings me to my next very strange point: She is a LONG dead priest of the Shofets, from long long ago, like Friend Aschwar is to Them now. And her name is Miss Sebitti.

Long long long ago, in the battle of Far Iklara, Miss Sebitti and the Shofets fought side by side against a great big enemy, and Miss Sebitti was hurt, and Friend Alary and a few other close Beloved tried to defy the laws of life and death and keep her alive. And it was not a very good thing they did, because flesh-weaving did not work, and only extended her suffering. And her suffering was THEIR suffering, and the Shofets suffering, and it was all quite tragic to hear. And so when they finally relented, they all forgot her memory completely, even though she was so very dear to them. The best. Their Beloved. (**scribbled above, very lightly: false memory?**)

And so, the Beloved are understandably freaked out that their dead priest is now... back? From another timeline, and in this one, and in -me-, who is not tied to any single Divines - only my Glomdoring, and my friends across the Basin.

I do not know WHY this ghost from another reality has chosen me, but she is like a seed at times, and a flower at others. And, she picked ME, so think -I- am supposed to help her bloom and grow - and the Glomdoring are exceptional gardeners. Get her back to where she is, or help her figure out what it is she is supposed to do. And for this, I am needing to be Beloveds to do it.

Being where are politically in Glomdoring, know the implications of what this means with Gaudiguchs. Know this weighs very deeply on your decisions as well... I can only tell you this: do not care about Gaudiguchs!!! Could not give two whole (**a single s, scribbled out**) thoughts about them! And it is not about Gaudiguchs. Know that the Shofets is heralded as like... -their- Divines, but the city is not Their city. They told me so Themselves! They were very nice about it. And, I do not like Gaudiguchs very much. Have never liked it. It smells like peoples who do not shower, and it is too hot, and everyone does not wear enough clothes and is always doing drugs or drinks. Yes - there are many Beloveds who are of Gaudiguchs and right now Gaudiguchs and Glomdoring are not friends. But I will not hesitate to make their heads explode if they even THINK about doing something ill-willed to our forest. And they know this and are also O-K with it, yes. I have no hesitations. My forest always comes first. Yes. My Glomdoring comes first. Always and foremost. There is no indecision about this. Never.

The reason that have spent so much time and paper writing out this story, is to explain that my asking is for more than just Miss Sebitti. It is also for Friend Aschwar, whose powers are still broken, and who for some reason is hiding something, or someone. And it is for the Shofets, who is also still broken - missing a piece, or still very hurt. But even with all of their pain and anger, anger that They once showed even Friend Aschwar, They NEVER showed me. I see They are good, too - I see why They chose Friend Aschwar, and why Friend Aschwar chose Them.

And finally, it is also because I think the Shofets KNOWS something. Think while They were out there, trying to find Who was lost, They felt something BIGGER and SCARIER than something we are familiar with. They call it the Abyss, and I do not know if that is different from a void or from aetherspace, but it is something They have spoken of often, and They have said it threatens us all. And, it makes my heart nervous, to think of this crazy changing time where a tenth seal would appear, and a long, long lost God from -another timeline- would finally find Her way back to us. Suddenly, dragons are coming to our Basins, and are doing no-good things? Things from other worlds are coming here. A thing from another world is in ME now - I feel it very directly, and so I feel it very strongly. Something is coming, or going to happen, and I must be ready to face it - and am thinking the Beloved will be the ones at the forefront of its coming. Whatever ... it is. If they are to know first, and I am there, then the Glomdoring can also know first, and then I can be there ready to protect you all too. No more breaking things.

The Wyrd is the very essence of change, and everything is changing already, and so this is a change yes! Or maybe, I am supposed to change. Peoples are also always telling me to not change, so, it is confusing. Know that I DO change, and when do, try to change for the better! (**scratched out: Except that time I became an aslaran and was very short. That was not better that was worse.**)

I want to try. And, I know it is probably going to hurt a lot, but, mean, have found that most things that want to do tend to hurt. And if it hurts, then I will bear it willingly. Of course am very frightened, yes. My whole body shakes as am writing this, so hope can read my writing O-K. But the Lady asked me once if I was a brave bee or a honey one, and I think I would like to be brave and so am being brave.

When Friend Shulamit asked me, with Friend Aschwar there, to join the Beloved, it made my heart very happy. I beg that will not interpret this as my loving Our Divines any less. The Lady of Roses and the Lord Silence and Mister Manteekan and the Lord Predator are all still so dear to my heart! Love them all the -same-. Is why could never choose. All had lessons to teach that were important, but none that made have same sing-song feeling, like the one that brought me from the Portal to the Glomdoring. They resonate in me like all the sounds of the Wyrd and the Shadowbeats. But I DO feel something, that is like a song, when think of Friend Aschwar, and the Shofets, and the Beloveds, and what has transpired thus far. A tune that is more like a thread that is always changing color. And it is planted right at the very center of my heart, and it is pulling me this way. But also my very BEING is Wyrden, and so I cannot follow it unless know that will have still have the embrace of my friends and my family, my -home- with me. You are always with me in everything that do.

Please have faith in me to do this. Please let me try. Know this is a very big thing to ask of you all. Know it is also selfish of me to put you in this position. Know I would never do anything if thought would put any of you in danger. Know there are laws in place to protect the Wyrd. And know Nothing Matters but Glomdoring. What I do not know is how to express that this is not me loving the Wyrd, or the Glomdoring, or anybody here -any- less. My heart is very big! I know I can do this. But also maybe feel this way because am so young. Maybe you are all knowing more about how these things tend to work out, and so ultimately trust will make the right decision, yes.

And, even if you do not say yes, know that I will still love you, and will still send you foodstuffs and make sure you are taken care of, and come to domoths and timequakes and help with plays and Pyschodramas and Rites. I will still sing you songs and praise you.

But also, really, -really- need this.

Many thank yous for your time, and your consideration.
Nothing Matters but the Glomdoring.
Glory be to the Glomdoring
The seal of Gurashi An'Ryshe, the Crescendo is stamped onto the page: An insect, cut vertically to shape a bumblebee on the left side and a cicada on the right, rests delicately on a clover flower from an aerial view. Underneath, 'Gurashi An'Ryshe' has been inked in a flowing script.