I grew up in a house of women. Men visited the house often. I don't remember my
mother, but Mistress Phryne must not have liked her. She always called me "the
little burden" my mother had left her. Other girls grew up in our house too,
but for a long time I was the youngest. There were no little boys. I don't know
why.

The other girls didn't treat me well. Cressida was the biggest girl, and liked
to play with the men who came to visit. She always found ways to give me
trouble. When she was in her hissy moods, she'd often tell me her mother was
much prettier than my mother had been. This made me sad, because it reminded me
that I never got to know my mother, but Cressida had. I don't know if what
Cressida said was true. Maybe it was. Her mother was very pretty. But Cressida
might have said it even if it weren't true. She said it to me very often. I'm
not sure why it was so important to her.

Jeni and Merisa were mean too, but they were stupid. They just did whatever
Cressida did.

As we got older, the men started paying more attention to all of us, especially
to Cressida. I'd try to keep out of sight when the men came. Not because I
minded sitting on their laps, or letting them touch me, but because it always
made Cressida so angry when they paid attention to me. She was impossible to
deal with afterwards.

Mistress Phryne never let the men take the younger girls to the rooms, though
they often wanted to. Cressida got very full of herself after she started going
to the rooms, and acted ridiculous afterwards. Swaying her hips in front of the
men like a horse. I ignored her. I didn't mind playing with the men in the
parlor, but I never wanted to go to the rooms, until the man with the grey eyes
came. He watched me a long time but didn't speak to me. For some reason, I
liked his attention. I was curious whether he'd touch me like the other men
did, or whether it would be different. But he never asked for me. Always for
one of the older women. He ignored Cressida and the other girls. Of course she
didn't like that.

One day a fancy man asked for me and Mistress Phryne told me to go with him to
the rooms. I don't know why it made Cressida feel so important. After that I
had to go to the rooms with many of the men. I think they liked me because I
was so little. Some of them were nice to bed with, but most of them weren't.
The ones who asked for me often seemed to like hurting, more so than the men
that went for the older women.

Some of the women in the house talked a lot, and often spoke bold to the men.
Cressida did too, and so of course Jeni and Merisa did like she did. But this
made the ugly men pay more attention to them, so I tended not to talk much when
the men were around. I tended not to talk much when the girls were around too,
because the more they paid attention to me, the more trouble I had. Mistress
Phryne never talked to me about it, but I sensed that she liked it that I was
so quiet. I think the man with grey eyes only every asked for the women who
were quiet. Maybe that's why he watched me so often. Unfortunately, I think the
men who liked to hurt also liked the quiet girls. Mistress Phryne handled all
the money herself, but I think she got a lot more money from the men who liked
to hurt. I didn't like going with those men. But I didn't cry about it, like
the other women did.

One day one the men who liked to hurt had taken Sharira and Caliel to the
rooms, and Caliel was crying something awful. Then it was quiet for a bit, and
she started screaming again but differently. Mistress Phryne went to the room
then and then she sent me into town to fetch some men friends of hers. I found
out later that Sharira had killed the man. I was happy to hear that, because it
sounded like he wasn't treating Caliel very well. But Mistress Phryne was
furious. I never saw Sharira after that, and none of the women would talk about
what happened to her. Caliel seemed very different afterwards. She hardly spoke
to any of us. After a few weeks, I never saw her again either.

I was sad that Sharira left. I think she was the strongest of the women. Except
for Mistress Phryne.

After that, I tried even harder to avoid the attentions of the men who liked to
hurt. I don't know how I could tell who they were, but I could. They looked at
us different. Most of them liked to hurt us and bed us. The worst of them only
liked to hurt. They were horrible. But crying didn't help, so I didn't bother
with that.

One night a man asked for me who only liked to hurt. He smelled like the
basement. He seemed to like it that I didn't cry. At first. But he kept hurting
me until I couldn't help it. And he kept hurting me. More than any of the other
men had done. Then I noticed he was very quiet. His head was flopped at a funny
angle. I pushed him and his body moved in a funny way, like a puppet when the
strings were loose. I think he was dead, but I don't understand how. Nobody was
in the room but the two of us. I'm sure Mistress Phryne would think I did it.
So I didn't freak out like Caliel had. I decided to keep making noises like I
had been a few moments before. I kept on making noises while I quietly
collected together my clothing and a few things from the room. Then I slipped
out the window, and hopped down into the yard, and ran as fast as I could. I
kept running for a long time.

I'm not sure how long ago that was. I remember waking up in Ceylon. Someone
told me about the Seven Truths of Mhaldor and I thought they were very
perceptive. So I came to this city and began training as a monk in the House of
the Ebon Fist.

Sometimes I think there is an Eighth Truth. Being weak is feeble-minded. But I
think sometimes it's clever to appear weak. And I think that being quiet helps
me to appear weak.