Woodfall, Part 3? - A Vacuum Story

<DM>	-=QUEST RESUME=-
*	Nolyghots wakes up
<DM>	*Dex, and his new army of the republ- errr, has fully named everyone in his army.*
<DM>	(no really, he did - https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/60594299/NAMES.txt
<Dex>	I really did.
*	Red_Enrics looks at this list that Dex wrote
<Red_Enrics>	...oh my
<Dex>	Bob is my second in command.
<Dex>	He's not on the list cause everyone knows Bob.
<DM>	[BobExample]: Wot? Don'tcha know 'ow ah speak ye fool?
<Nolyghots>	Haven't I seen the name "Gonzo" somewhere before?
<DM>	*The fire from the ignited river seems to have settled down, though it still doesn't seem safe to step in it.*
<DM>	(A note, you could ask any of your men what they were doing or what they know about the area.)
<Dex>	Ok boys whos got intel for me?
*	DM picks a random name.
<Dex>	What was going on here and whats the layout of the area?
<SneakyPete>	Me's knows, me knows alls theres ises tos s'es- ah mean dis areas!
*	DM gets rid of the extra s'es from SneakyPete.
<SneakyPete>	Huh, I feel loik some'un jes lifted a curses on me.
<DM>	*To the south is upriver, where Vincent party split his way to a victory earlier.*
<DM>	*And to the east is where you found the bandit camp, though you only went partway down this river.*
<SneakyPete>	Eh, errr
*	SneakyPete pokes to the east.
<SneakyPete>	Dat ways, dere's just some birds and alls, dey hurt.
*	SneakyPete pokes- wow, I was saying pokes. Just....
*	SneakyPete points to the south.
<SneakyPete>	And dat way, well, dere's uhh... a fortress.
<SneakyPete>	Some fortress in da watah.
<Dex>	Probably the mad scientist dudes place?
<Nolyghots>	A fortress probably has cash!
*	Nolyghots 's eyes gleam
<SneakyPete>	Ya man, though we never founds him dere. We don't know where da guy is.
<Dex>	So an empty fort.
<SneakyPete>	But ya wanna know somethin, boss?
<Dex>	Do tell.
<SneakyPete>	I WAS REEEEAAAAL SNEAKY.
<Nolyghots>	Well, if he's not gonna bother us, let's go loot the place!
<SneakyPete>	Dere was at least one guy there. ONE GUY... and I snuck past him!
<Red_Enrics>	Metal Gear Style?
<Dex>	Good work Sneaky Pete. Keep this up and you'll be on the fast track to a promotion.
<SneakyPete>	Hmm... I don't know that. ... but it sounds cool!
<SneakyPete>	Mr. Dex-sama, may I change my name?
<Dex>	To?
<Dex>	I approve
<MetalGearPete>	IT DA COOOOOL.
<MetalGearPete>	Okay... METAL GEAR.
<DM>	*God dangit Nappa.*
<DM>	*Actually, Nolyghots would be the closest thing to Nappa......... fascinating.*
<DM>	*ANYHOW...
<Red_Enrics>	I know the perfect name for MetalGearPete
<DM>	*Do you head south?*
<Red_Enrics>	SolidPete, perhaps?
*	Kirran takes a couple of swigs from his milk jar to replenish his flagging energy and health after the hellish battle.
<Dex>	Well who wants to go where?
<Nolyghots>	I wanna loot a fortress!
<Dex>	I'm down for going south.
*	DM returns milk to Kirran's jar of.... milk... cause uhhh... gimme a tick.
<Red_Enrics>	Eh, I don't see why south isn't a good way to go
*	DM loots his stash of life from heaven and pours it over the party + the army.
<Kirran>	(O-O)
<DM>	party army
<DM>	army party
<DM>	fascinating
<DM>	*Everyone is restored to full Hearts/Magic.*
<DM>	(Yeah, I completely forgot about everyone's status and meant to take care of that earlier, so... there.*
<Dex>	Ok. Let's head south then.
<Dex>	BOB RALLY THE TROOPS
<Bob>	Youse guys heard mista dex. Get ta rallyin'.
<DM>	*que Imperial March theme*
<DM>	*You all head south. You find a few looted corpses along the way. They don't seem to be your men.*
*	Red_Enrics follows Dex
*	Nolyghots follows Red
*	Kirran tags along with the army
<DM>	*Actually, one of them is your men. His name was.... nothing, cause he wasn't with Dex before Dex named everyone.*
<MetalGearPete>	I REMEMBER DAT GUY, 'E WAS... HE WAS UHHHH... who was 'e?
<Red_Enrics>	*Stretches* Oh man, it feels so good to not be drunk!
<DM>	*Note to self - Find way to get Red_Enrics drunk again this quest.*
*	Nolyghots bonks the DM in the head
<Kirran>	I have the strangest feeling that divine providence is feeling plucky today.
<Dex>	Sooooo.... is there anything on the dead guy?
<DM>	*You eventually reach a fortress, annnnd there would be someone to meet you here, except he's totally afk, soooooooo..... he'll join you later.*
<DM>	*The fortress is surrounded by the deadly waters, though there are two bridges leading to it. Both bridges have a few more corpses on them.*
<Kirran>	I wonder what killed these guys?
<DM>	*Multiple stab wounds, it would seem.*
<Nolyghots>	Probably Bandits! RAWR!
<Dex>	Well it's not my handiwork.
<Red_Enrics>	Do lizards even have hands? Or is it all feet?
<DM>	*From here, there appears to be a path leading east, further up the river.*
<Dex>	Claws if you wanna be technical.
<Red_Enrics>	Good to know
<Dex>	Any way to get into the fort?
<DM>	*The fortress doors appear to be open, actually.*
<Nolyghots>	LOOT! LOTS OF LOOT!
*	Nolyghots flies inside the fortress
<Dex>	Sounds like the place might have been cleaned out.
<DM>	*Nolyghots is met by an interesting man, with Vincent on auto-follow along with 5 other men.*
<Nolyghots>	Eh?
<DM>	[???]: My my, is that a ghost? Hmm... they defy the laws of science. I'm not fond of that.
<DM>	[???]: But no matter, do you talk, little fellow?
<Nolyghots>	Not to chumps like you! *Snicker*
<DM>	[???]: Indeed!
*	DM looks out the front door of the fortress to see Dex and his army across the bridge.*
<DM>	wait
<DM>	wrong guy
<Dex>	wargle
<Nolyghots>	Now if you'll excuse me before I was so rudely interupted
<DM>	*The man looks out the front door of the fortress to see Dex and his army across the bridge.*
*	Nolyghots flies around, looking for loot
<Kirran>	Hey guys, there's someone in the castle with our Poe friend.
<Kirran>	And I think I saw God in there too, but that might have been the milk.
*	DM hides behind the 4th wall.
<Dex>	No more milk for you.
<Dex>	Also if that's God that explains a lot.
<Dex>	Anyway let's go see this mystery man.
<DM>	*The man laughs voraciously- hang on, different word....
<Dex>	I'm getting tired of the ??? every time he speaks.
<Red_Enrics>	I think some of our army should stay behind
<Red_Enrics>	If we all go, then we might spook the man
<Kirran>	Or break the bridge.
<DM>	[???]: Ah, if it isn't the bandit felloooo- *notices there's no longer Da Big Boss* ... wait, who's that?
<Bob>	Good point. Just us and Bob then?
<Bob>	I'm Da Big Boss.
<Bob>	wait
<Bob>	frig wrong window
<Dex>	DEX SAID THAT NOT BOB
*	DM casts WINDOW SWITCH on Bob!
<Dex>	i knew that was going to happen at some point
<Nolyghots>	I possessed that guy once, he's too muscular for my tastes
<Dex>	And that ladies and gentlemen is my Bob impression.
<DM>	[???]: Shh, wasn't asking you- wait... yes I was.
<Bob>	Dat was a good one boss.
<Nolyghots>	Well, he's no longer the boss.
<Dex>	ANYWAY
<Dex>	The point is I'm in charge of the bandits now.
<Dex>	And they aren't bandits any more they are now part of a mercenary company.
<Red_Enrics>	(Are we already there? >.>)
*	DM observes as Dex and Bob magically move close enough to speak to the mysterious man as they speak.
<Kirran>	Bandits don't have names, mercs do.
<DM>	*... along with Kirran and Red.*
<Red_Enrics>	(I haven't spoken yet. But okay :P)
<DM>	[???]: My, I think I overheard you say something about.... not liking question marks? What's that mean? What do you mean you don't like questions? Aren't I asking questions here?
<Dex>	I dunno? ARE YOU?
<Dex>	Who are you?
<Dex>	What are you?
<Dex>	Why are you?
<Kirran>	Why are we here?
<Dex>	How are you? We never really get to talk any more.
<DM>	[???]: Hoh... you ask my name. Very well, I shall answer your question... *laughs evil-ly*
<Nolyghots>	Stop laughing like that, it's creepy, laugh normally!
<Dex>	That would go a long way towards getting rid of the ???.
<DM>	[???]: I am the mad scientist, HOUEN KYOMU! And uhh... oh, that's right, those guys *your army* were hunting me before. ... could I be given one minute to explain things before you kill me?
<Nolyghots>	Woah, who said we were gonna kill you?
<Red_Enrics>	My thoughts exactly.
<DM>	*Your army seems to be rather angry with him, Dex.*
<Kirran>	Your name sounds like an anagram, if you don't mind my saying so.
<DM>	*A good number of them are drawing their weapons.*
<Dex>	Whats the matter boys?
<LeadpipeSteve>	Well, dats him. Dats da guy dats been poisonin' da water and alls.
<Red_Enrics>	What?!
<Leadpiper>	Dat mad scientisgtrseg fella.
<Dex>	Ohhhhh.
*	Leadpiper points at HouenKyomu.
<Dex>	THAT Houen Kyomu.
<Dex>	OK Kyomu explain yourself. And make it quick. And make it good otherwise my boys are gunna have to stomp ya.
<Dex>	Also I'm pretty sure the DM has a speech he wants to use.
<DM>	(I do?)
<Dex>	Well you went to all the trouble of writing dialogue for this nerd.
<Dex>	ANYWAY
<Dex>	Get to it.
<Kirran>	Dex, you're talking to thin air again
*	Kirran raises a Spock level eyebrow.
<Dex>	Shhh.
<HouenKyomu>	Ahh, ahhh... uhhh... quickly, you say, uhhhh
<HouenKyomu>	... first off.
*	HouenKyomu points to the auto-following Vincent behind him.
<HouenKyomu>	This guy, yes, uhh... wasn't he with you folks?
<Dex>	He is.
<Kirran>	Whoa. Where's he been hiding this whole time?
<Nolyghots>	That guy who obliterated me. :O
<HouenKyomu>	My, he's sided with me.
<Dex>	Why?
<DM>	(No really, he did. He's not controlling Vincent, they're actually sided together.)
<Kirran>	Oh shi...
<HouenKyomu>	Alright, so uhh... I didn't cause the river to go all poisony.
<HouenKyomu>	There is someone else who did, and he threw all of the blame on me.
*	HouenKyomu points east.
<HouenKyomu>	There's another fortress of doom in this swamp, some of you know it as the Deku Fortress... anyhow, this guy calling himself the Greed King.
<HouenKyomu>	He's a greedy fellow alright, and quite frankly, he's annoying. Veeeerrrry annoying.
<Kirran>	That have anything to do with the Decadents we fought earlier?
<HouenKyomu>	Decadents- noooo, no, you mean these fools?
*	HouenKyomu points to the 5 DecadentFools behind him.
<HouenKyomu>	They're just some followers.
<Dex>	Wait why are Decadents with you?
<HouenKyomu>	Huh... I have no idea. They just.... follow me.
<DM>	[Fools]: SCIENCE IS COOL, BRO!
<HouenKyomu>	Yeah, like that.
<Dex>	So the real problem is east then.
<HouenKyomu>	Nevermind them. This greed guy, yes... *clacks his hands together* yeeeeeeesssssss..........
<HouenKyomu>	Hmm, I thought we'd be able to sneak our way through-
<MetalGearPete>	SNEAK? SNEEEEEEEAAAAAAK? SNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!
<HouenKyomu>	...
<Dex>	EXCELLENT TIMING ON THAT JOKE PETE!
<MetalGearPete>	METAL GEAR
<HouenKyomu>	But with this army of yours, we might be able to, oh, let's see... take over his fortress, I presume?
<HouenKyomu>	Err, actually, return it to the Dekus.
<Dex>	And by we you mean me.
<HouenKyomu>	Yes. ... you.
<HouenKyomu>	I just thought I might be able to... tag along.
<Dex>	And by take it over you mean go and see if the Greed King is actually at fault.
<DM>	(Fyi, his stats are posted here - http://zurpg.sephiroth.ws/showthread.php?tid=190&pid=426#pid426
<DM>	(And they pwn)
<Red_Enrics>	:P
<Dex>	Because if there's one thing I hate it's being played.
*	Sephiroth just became aware of a poke.
<HouenKyomu>	Why, of course he's at fault, what makes you think I'm main boss level material?
*	DM converts Sephirothism to Vincentism.
<Dex>	Well it says "Boss Ally" Right there.
*	Sephiroth now has a bruise the size of africa.
<HouenKyomu>	Psh, please, I couldn't take more than 2 or 3 of you!
<Dex>	Anyway my point is: if I find out you're lying to us I'm going to do my special thing.
<HouenKyomu>	Oh? A special thing? Is it... SCIENCE?
*	Nolyghots looks at Vincent
<Dex>	Yes.
<Dex>	Yes it most certainly is science.
*	Nolyghots waves her hand in front of Vincent's face
<HouenKyomu>	Good. Goooooooooooood. I look FORWARD to this.
<Dex>	TO THE EAST
<Sephiroth>	(Care for a recap?)
<DM>	*Nutshell - Dex named everyone in his army, and they've proceeded south to the fortress of HouenKyomu, where you lot have met up with them.*
<Nolyghots>	Do soooooomethiiiing
<DM>	*And now you're heading east.*
<Dex>	SOUND THE WAR HORN BOB!
<Bob>	Uh.. We ain't got a war horn Boss.
<DM>	oh, if you could bring Navi in instead, that'd be great so I can run a third shell
<Dex>	Just make a trumpet sound with your lips then.
<Dex>	could i stop being bob then?
<Dex>	its hard
<DM>	Nice Bob impression, Dex!
<Bob>	i forgot how to emote
*	Bob makes a trumpet sound.
<Bob>	FIGURED IT OUT
*	Nolyghots stares at Vincent_Valantine's eyes
<Nolyghots>	Why won't you say something?
<DM>	(Holy crap, including NPC allies (Bob/Houen), you have a 6 man party.)
<Nolyghots>	(:O)
<--	Vincent_Valentine has kicked Bob from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on a sprinkler head! «14,240»)
<--	Vincent_Valentine has kicked Dex from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in a pile of dead skunks! «14,241»)
<--	Vincent_Valentine has kicked HouenKyomu from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in Link's Bad Hair Day- The Malonia Adventure and you become one of the drunkards in front of the pub! «14,242»)
<--	Vincent_Valentine has kicked Kirran from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on a businessman! Is that your dad? «14,243»)
<--	Vincent_Valentine has kicked X_X from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on an antenna, where you get struck by a bolt of lightning! «14,244»)
<--	Vincent_Valentine has kicked Nolyghots from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in a pile of shit! «14,245»)
<--	Vincent_Valentine has kicked Red_Enrics from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on the Publisher's Clearing House Prize Patrol™! «14,246»)
<--	Vincent_Valentine has kicked X___X from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on Bill Gates! Quick, shoot him while you can! «14,247»)
<DM>	hoooooly crap
<Nolyghots>	:O
<Nolyghots>	WAH!
<DM>	I think you miiiiiiight have overloaded it a bit.
<Nolyghots>	He moved finally!
<Nolyghots>	I knew I could do it!
<DM>	*So, you all head east?*
<Red_Enrics>	(Is anyone staying?)
<Dex>	well im obviously going
*	Vincent_Valentine didn't get enough information from the nutshell and wants a more through bit of detail.
<Bob>	an im obfivelessy goin wit da boss
<Nolyghots>	I couldn't find any treasure here, so I'm going east. ;~:
<Dex>	indeed you are bob
<Kirran>	Why would anyone stay here?
<Dex>	Well aside from the poisoned water the location is pretty good.
<Red_Enrics>	Well, Noly has to go everywhere I go, so I'll go east.
<DM>	*Okay. Dex and co. headed upriver. He was about to raid the fortress when HouenKyomu and co. (including you, Vincent (on auto-follow)) came out of it. You met each other, had a little conversation, found out HouenKyomu isn't the actual culprit; the Greed King to the east is, and now you're heading there.*
<Dex>	i still dont trust houen though
<Dex>	and i am waiting for his sudden but totally expected betrayal
<DM>	*isn't the actual culprit to the river poisoning*
<Dex>	and subsequent boss fight
<Vincent_Valentine>	Ahh, kay.
<Nolyghots>	*Whisper to Red* That Evil Laugh still makes me feel uneasy.
<DM>	*You head east. The stink from the river seems to be getting worse, to the point where it's starting to feel toxic. Not quite enough to cause poison damage though.*
*	Vincent_Valentine heads east.
<DM>	*A flock of birds seems to be gathered around a few corpses. They lift their murderous eyes to meet yours.*
<Nolyghots>	Ah, I love the smell of murder~.
<Dex>	Ooooh corpses!
<Kirran>	Birds. Why did it have to be villainous birds?
<Dex>	Checkem for loot.
<DM>	*There seem to be 3 flocks of them. Two Octoroks pop up out of the river.*
<Nolyghots>	Remember, a Murderous Bird just makes it easier to catch, and then rip out it's heart!~
<DM>	*They seem to be intent on causing your untimely death.*
<DM>	(Note - if your army fights it, you don't get the experience.)
<Dex>	CHOICES
<Red_Enrics>	I say run
<Nolyghots>	I say let em kill you!~
<DM>	(Likewise, considering your already huge party of doom, one of them being boss level, if any of your army joins the fight, it'll reduce the total experience given to everyone at the end.)
<DM>	(Err, if you battle and some of your army joins you)
<DM>	(also, cause I did it for Dex/co. earlier....
<Dex>	what kind of loot would we get
*	DM fully restores HouenKyomu and Vincent_Valentine to full hearts/magic.
<DM>	Random item drops, doesn't appear to be any actual loot.
<DM>	and Rupees of course
*	Kirran twangs his bow string.
<Nolyghots>	Octorock hearts, they're a nice delacacy!~
<Kirran>	Stupid bircs.
<Kirran>	birds*
<Dex>	Eh I say we just autowin. This probably isn't worth the time.
*	HouenKyomu grabs some dice from the 4th wall.
<DM>	WHAT
*	HouenKyomu throws one of them.
<HouenKyomu>	$init 1d10
<Navi>	HouenKyomu: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 7.
<HouenKyomu>	SCIENTIST LUCKY NUMBAH SSEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEN
<Dex>	do i get to pick who fights?
<DM>	(If part of your army joins, yes, and do know that it'd reduce the total experience amount if they do help you.)
<Dex>	ok well since bob is an NPC does he help anyway?
<Dex>	or would i have to select him
<Dex>	$init 1d10
<Navi>	Dex: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 6.
<DM>	(Bob is part of the party, he doesn't count as part of the army.)
<Red_Enrics>	$init 1d10
<Navi>	Red_Enrics: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 10.
<DM>	woah, nice
<Bob>	$init 1d10
<Navi>	Bob: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 8.
<Red_Enrics>	BAM
<Octorok1>	$init 1d10
<Navi>	Octorok1: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 5.
<Octorok2>	$init 1d10
<Navi>	Octorok2: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 2.
<Kirran>	$init 1d11
*	Nolyghots puts a cheerleader outfit on
<Navi>	Kirran: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 9.
<Vincent_Valentine>	$init 1d11
<Navi>	Vincent_Valentine: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 11.
<Nolyghots>	$init 1d10
<Dex>	uhh you got a stats page for bob?
<Navi>	Nolyghots: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 5.
<GuaySwarmA>	$1d10
<Navi>	GuaySwarmA: You rolled 1 Die with 10 Sides. Result: 7. Total: 7. Successes: 1.
<GuaySwarmA>	$init 1d10
<Navi>	GuaySwarmA: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 1.
<DM>	http://zurpg.sephiroth.ws/showthread.php?tid=190&pid=415#pid415 - Bob should be in that post.
<Nolyghots>	Nolyghots will be like an Earthbound guest
<Dex>	you wanna give him full hp and mana?
<DM>	need two more guayswarms
<Dex>	hes at 4 / 10 and 1 / 4
<DM>	oh, he's not full
*	DM fixes that.
<DM>	actually, I got a better idea for the enemies
*	Vincent_Valentine can only do one shell due to the bots
*	DM can actually run all of them himself, observe.
<DM>	$init s
<Navi>	The Battle has started! Turn Order: Vincent_Valentine (11), Red_Enrics (10), Kirran (9), Bob (8), HouenKyomu (7), Dex (6), Octorok1 (5), Nolyghots (5), Octorok2 (2) and GuaySwarmA (1).
<DM>	Bonus Turns: Vincent_Valentine, Red_Enrics
<Red_Enrics>	(Oh god, all those people in the battle
<GuaySwarmA>	so do you need this shell then
<Octoroks>	??h, ?m | ??m, ?m
<DM>	nope
<GuaySwarmA>	$removeme
<Navi>	GuaySwarmA has removed theirself from the battle. Turn Order: Vincent_Valentine (11), Red_Enrics (10), Kirran (9), Bob (8), HouenKyomu (7), Dex (6), Nolyghots (5), Octorok1 (5) and Octorok2 (2).
<GuaySwarms>	?h, ?m | ?h, ?m | ?h, ?m
<--	Fireblast124 has quit (Ping timeout)
<GuaySwarms>	$init j
<Navi>	GuaySwarms: You have entered the fray!
*	Vincent_Valentine grabs his Axe of Jealousy and charges at a GuaySwam! (Roll Courage!)
<Vincent_Valentine>	$18d10
<Navi>	Vincent_Valentine: You rolled 18 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 4, 3, 5, 8, 6, 6, 4, 6, 1, 4, 5, 4, 4, 9, 6, 7 and 8. Total: 98. Successes: 11.
<GuaySwarms>	$16d10
<Navi>	GuaySwarms: You rolled 16 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 7, 2, 10, 5, 3, 7, 9, 1, 4, 9, 7, 1, 3, 2, 3 and 4. Total: 77. Successes: 8.
*	GuaySwarms is hit!
<DM>	11 - 8 = 3 - 2 = 1 damage, bleeding
*	Vincent_Valentine ends his bonus turn.
<GuaySwarms>	7h, ?m, bleeding | 8h, ?m | 8h, ?m
<DM>	Red_Enrics, your bonus turn is up!
*	Red_Enrics strikes at the firest Guay with his Mini Scythe. *Roll Courage*
<Red_Enrics>	$14d10
<Navi>	Red_Enrics: You rolled 14 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 7, 5, 2, 4, 10, 6, 10, 6, 10, 9, 8, 9, 5 and 9. Total: 100. Successes: 15.
<GuaySwarms>	$16d10
<Navi>	GuaySwarms: You rolled 16 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 8, 7, 10, 9, 4, 9, 10, 9, 9, 7, 3, 8, 4, 8 and 5. Total: 116. Successes: 15.
<DM>	ROLLOFF
<Red_Enrics>	$14d10
<Navi>	Red_Enrics: You rolled 14 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2, 8, 3, 3, 4, 9, 7, 8, 7, 6, 9, 10, 3 and 10. Total: 89. Successes: 11.
<GuaySwarms>	$16d10
<Navi>	GuaySwarms: You rolled 16 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 7, 1, 9, 5, 8, 3, 9, 9, 8, 3, 4, 8, 9, 4, 8 and 6. Total: 101. Successes: 11.
<DM>	ROLLOFF 2
<Red_Enrics>	(fucking)
<Red_Enrics>	$14d10
<Navi>	Red_Enrics: You rolled 14 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 9, 3, 8, 9, 10, 6, 9, 1, 5, 4, 6, 1, 3 and 1. Total: 75. Successes: 9.
<GuaySwarms>	$16d10
<Navi>	GuaySwarms: You rolled 16 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2, 3, 9, 3, 4, 8, 9, 9, 3, 2, 3, 2, 6, 4, 7 and 7. Total: 81. Successes: 7.
<Red_Enrics>	inb4 9
*	GuaySwarms is hit!
<Red_Enrics>	OR THAT
<GuaySwarms>	9 - 7 = 2 damage
<GuaySwarms>	5h, ?m, bleeding, -1 Guay | 8h, ?m | 8h, ?m
<Nolyghots>	WOOHOO!~
<DM>	Vincent_Valentine, your move!
<Red_Enrics>	(FUCK, 2.1 second lag)
*	Vincent_Valentine grabs his Axe of Jealousy and charges at a GuaySwam again! (Roll Courage!)
<Vincent_Valentine>	$18d10
<Navi>	Vincent_Valentine: You rolled 18 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 1, 2, 5, 5, 3, 1, 8, 5, 2, 3, 7, 9, 8, 1, 1, 6 and 7. Total: 80. Successes: 10.
<GuaySwarms>	$16d10
<Navi>	GuaySwarms: You rolled 16 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 7, 3, 4, 1, 9, 3, 8, 6, 5, 10, 8, 1, 6, 3, 1 and 2. Total: 77. Successes: 9.
<GuaySwarms>	wait
<GuaySwarms>	$4d10
<Navi>	GuaySwarms: You rolled 4 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 5, 10 and 2. Total: 23. Successes: 4.
*	DM invokes the power of a jealous death on the first GuaySwarm!
<GuaySwarms>	8h, ?m | 8h, ?m
<DM>	and Red_Enrics, your move again
<Vincent_Valentine>	$endturn
<Navi>	Vincent_Valentine has ended their turn. Red_Enrics: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Vincent_Valentine (11), Red_Enrics (10), Kirran (9), Bob (8), HouenKyomu (7), Dex (6), Nolyghots (5), Octorok1 (5), Octorok2 (2) and GuaySwarms (0).
*	Red_Enrics strikes one of the Guays
<Red_Enrics>	*Rolls Courage again*
<Red_Enrics>	$14d10
<Navi>	Red_Enrics: You rolled 14 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 6, 10, 9, 3, 9, 4, 4, 3, 4, 7, 6, 10 and 10. Total: 91. Successes: 12.
<DM>	(I love how all of you are attacking its high stat.)
<GuaySwarms>	$16d10
<Navi>	GuaySwarms: You rolled 16 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 3, 5, 9, 2, 7, 10, 4, 10, 1, 6, 8, 10, 5, 5 and 7. Total: 98. Successes: 15.
*	GuaySwarms barrel rolls outta the way.
<Red_Enrics>	Well damn
<Red_Enrics>	16h 1m
<Red_Enrics>	$endturn
<Navi>	Red_Enrics has ended their turn. Kirran: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Vincent_Valentine (11), Red_Enrics (10), Kirran (9), Bob (8), HouenKyomu (7), Dex (6), Nolyghots (5), Octorok1 (5), Octorok2 (2) and GuaySwarms (0).
*	Kirran nocks an arrow and fires at the octorocks (roll courage)
<Kirran>	$17d10
<Navi>	Kirran: You rolled 17 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 9, 6, 8, 5, 1, 7, 2, 6, 1, 7, 6, 4, 3, 8, 10 and 8. Total: 99. Successes: 13.
<Octoroks>	$9d10
<Navi>	Octoroks: You rolled 9 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 10, 2, 1, 8, 1, 7, 7 and 3. Total: 45. Successes: 6.
*	Octoroks used to be a Hentai Rapist like Japan, but then it took an arrow to the tentacle.
*	DM runs far far away.
<Octoroks>	13 - 6 = 7 - 2 = 5 damage
*	Nolyghots sees that message and shivers
<Octoroks>	3h, ?m | 8h, ?m
<Kirran>	8h 5m
<Kirran>	$endturn
<Navi>	Kirran has ended their turn. Bob: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Vincent_Valentine (11), Red_Enrics (10), Kirran (9), Bob (8), HouenKyomu (7), Dex (6), Nolyghots (5), Octorok1 (5), Octorok2 (2) and GuaySwarms (0).
<DM>	(Wow, one thunderspark would actually one-shot that Octorok, lol)
<Dex>	BOB I CHOSE YOU
<Bob>	bob bo bob bob
<Dex>	USE CROSS SLASH ATTACK NOW
<DM>	oh god, not bobobo bobo- yeah, that thing
<Bob>	so just roll normal?
<Bob>	then add together?
<DM>	uhh, which two swords?
<DM>	he's got 3
<Bob>	dorans blade and white sword
<Bob>	i guess
<DM>	Courage +3
<DM>	(+2 +3 = +5/2 = +2.5 rounded = +3)
<DM>	so yeah, Courage +3 vs. target's Courage
<Bob>	on the weakened guay
<Bob>	$19d10
<Navi>	Bob: You rolled 19 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 1, 4, 7, 6, 3, 1, 9, 1, 7, 10, 6, 4, 5, 10, 4, 3, 9 and 1. Total: 97. Successes: 12.
<Octoroks>	MEEP!
<Octoroks>	$9d10
<Navi>	Octoroks: You rolled 9 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 9, 6, 10, 7, 2, 10, 10, 4 and 6. Total: 64. Successes: 10.
<Bob>	I'll take dat.
<Bob>	Slash'em up good.
<Kirran>	Wait, the octorocks are birds too?
<DM>	(Fire affinity is weak to Water affinity, based on target's affinity, so....)
<DM>	(Doran's blade is Fire Affinity)
<DM>	-2 successes, ROLLOFF
<Bob>	oh wait
<Bob>	i said the birds
<Bob>	not the octrorocks
<DM>	oooooooh
*	DM redirects.
*	Kirran cowers in fear at the thought of flying tentacle monsters.
<DM>	oh, I red "weakened Guy", not guay
<DM>	both remaining guays are full health
<Bob>	$1d2
<Navi>	Bob: You flipped 1 coin. Values: Tails (2). Results: 0 Heads (1) - 1 Tail (2).
<Bob>	then the second one
<Bob>	i attack
<Nolyghots>	Flying Tentacle monster? *gulp*
<GuaySwarms>	$16d10
<Navi>	GuaySwarms: You rolled 16 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 7, 2, 9, 1, 10, 10, 2, 7, 7, 10, 7, 10, 2, 5, 5 and 6. Total: 100. Successes: 16.
<Kirran>	Wow
*	GuaySwarms does another barrel roll as Bob swings high, he swings low, but he misses.
<Bob>	Nuts I wiff'd it Boss.
<Dex>	Aint no thang.
<Bob>	$endturn
<Navi>	Bob has ended their turn. HouenKyomu: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Vincent_Valentine (11), Red_Enrics (10), Kirran (9), Bob (8), HouenKyomu (7), Dex (6), Nolyghots (5), Octorok1 (5), Octorok2 (2) and GuaySwarms (0).
<DM>	(Wow, your Bob speak is even harder to hear than my bob speak.)
*	HouenKyomu laughs evil-ly again.
<Dex>	is that good or bad
<HouenKyomu>	Hoh..... might I entertain you all today?
*	Nolyghots throws a rupee at HouenKyomu
<Nolyghots>	GET TO THE POINT
*	Vincent_Valentine kicks Nolyghots out the window.
<--	Vincent_Valentine has kicked Nolyghots from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in Zero Wing! ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! «14,249»)
*	HouenKyomu juggles a few elements around and throws two together.
*	HouenKyomu casts Steam Explosion, hitting everyone! (Roll Wisdom, everyone)
<Red_Enrics>	Oh shi-
*	Red_Enrics blocks
<DM>	(Good news, this does 4 damage, not the difference in successes)
<Vincent_Valentine>	$5d10
<Navi>	Vincent_Valentine: You rolled 5 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 9, 2, 10 and 4. Total: 33. Successes: 4.
<HouenKyomu>	$26d10
<Navi>	HouenKyomu: You rolled 26 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 7, 5, 8, 9, 2, 8, 6, 4, 4, 5, 3, 6, 7, 1, 7, 4, 3, 8, 4, 3, 4, 3, 2, 10, 6 and 1. Total: 130. Successes: 14.
<Red_Enrics>	$9d10
<Navi>	Red_Enrics: You rolled 9 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 8, 10, 5, 1, 9, 10, 4 and 6. Total: 61. Successes: 9.
<GuaySwarms>	$4d10
<Navi>	GuaySwarms: You rolled 4 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 1, 4 and 9. Total: 18. Successes: 1.
<Dex>	$11d10
<Navi>	Dex: You rolled 11 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 10, 2, 9, 9, 6, 5, 2, 3, 5 and 5. Total: 64. Successes: 9.
<Octoroks>	$9d10
<Navi>	Octoroks: You rolled 9 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2, 6, 4, 3, 9, 2, 9, 10 and 7. Total: 52. Successes: 6.
<HouenKyomu>	17h, 8m
<Kirran>	$11d10
<Navi>	Kirran: You rolled 11 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 1, 1, 1, 5, 2, 4, 4, 2, 5 and 3. Total: 36. Successes: 3.
<Bob>	$7d10
<HouenKyomu>	HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! BURN IN THE STEAM, YOU FOOLS- *turns around*
<Navi>	Bob: You rolled 7 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 4, 5, 7, 3, 3 and 9. Total: 39. Successes: 4.
<Red_Enrics>	(How much damage did I take?)
<HouenKyomu>	Oh. ... I forgot about you lot. My bad.
<Dex>	4 damage all around?
<Kirran>	(Holy ones Batman)
<DM>	*Everyone hit takes 4 burn damage (neutral).*
<Nolyghots>	I'm immune to damage! HAHA!
<Kirran>	(Oh wait, I forgot to add 2)
*	Vincent_Valentine kicks Nolyghots out the window.
<--	Vincent_Valentine has kicked Nolyghots from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed inside your own Zelda Classic game! O_O «14,250»)
<Kirran>	(Can I reroll that one, or do I just roll two more die?)
*	HouenKyomu needs to roll against himself, apparently.
<DM>	(sure)
<DM>	(oh uhh
<DM>	(just add $2d10)
<HouenKyomu>	$23d10
<Navi>	HouenKyomu: You rolled 23 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 3, 9, 4, 8, 2, 6, 5, 9, 1, 10, 10, 7, 2, 6, 2, 5, 9, 3, 8, 1, 9 and 9. Total: 133. Successes: 17.
<Kirran>	$2d10
<Navi>	Kirran: You rolled 2 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6 and 1. Total: 7. Successes: 1.
<Red_Enrics>	12h
<Dex>	you wanna do bobs health?
<Nolyghots>	"Adorable"h
*	Kirran is so afraid of the birds he can't even think to defend properly.
*	HouenKyomu avoids his own attack and gains another magic, not to mention the magic from hitting everyone...
<Vincent_Valentine>	6h, 3m.
<HouenKyomu>	17, 12m
<HouenKyomu>	17h, 12m
<Kirran>	4h 5m
<Dex>	8/12
*	HouenKyomu drops Status Protection and Spread Shock.
<Red_Enrics>	12h 1m
<HouenKyomu>	Alright, my little friends, finish off the rest of the weaklings, mwahahahahahah!
<Bob>	6 / 10
<HouenKyomu>	$endturn
<Navi>	HouenKyomu has ended their turn. Dex: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Vincent_Valentine (11), Red_Enrics (10), Kirran (9), Bob (8), HouenKyomu (7), Dex (6), Nolyghots (5), Octorok1 (5), Octorok2 (2) and GuaySwarms (0).
<Dex>	hup
<Dex>	whats alive
<GuaySwarms>	4h, ?m, -2 Guay | 4h, ?m, -2 Guay
<Dex>	sounds good
<Dex>	the first one
<DM>	*The steam explosion appears to have engulfed one of the Octoroks, reducing it to a Steam internet outage.*
<Octorok1>	$removeme
<Navi>	Octorok1 has removed theirself from the battle. Turn Order: Vincent_Valentine (11), Red_Enrics (10), Kirran (9), Bob (8), HouenKyomu (7), Dex (6), Nolyghots (5), Octorok2 (2) and GuaySwarms (0).
<Kirran>	(Must be a sale on)
<Octorok2>	4h, ?m
<DM>	(HEYOOOOOOOO)
<Dex>	Jagged Edge Sword vs Guay ROLL COURAGE
<Dex>	$17d10
<Navi>	Dex: You rolled 17 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 7, 10, 4, 6, 1, 10, 1, 8, 3, 2, 3, 4, 10, 4, 1, 2 and 8. Total: 84. Successes: 10.
<GuaySwarms>	$8d10
<Navi>	GuaySwarms: You rolled 8 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 3, 9, 5, 9, 7, 4 and 8. Total: 51. Successes: 6.
*	GuaySwarms takes a nasty blow from the sword, killing off another Guay.
<GuaySwarms>	2h, ?m, -3 Guay, bleeding x1 | 4h, ?m, -2 Guay
<Dex>	Wham! Bam! Thank you ma'am!
<Dex>	$endturn
<Navi>	Dex has ended their turn. Nolyghots: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Vincent_Valentine (11), Red_Enrics (10), Kirran (9), Bob (8), HouenKyomu (7), Dex (6), Nolyghots (5), Octorok2 (2) and GuaySwarms (0).
<Dex>	also
<Dex>	+1 heart
<Dex>	shit i forgot to roll crit chacne
<DM>	go ahead and roll it
*	Nolyghots does a Cheering dance
*	Nolyghots sees an Octorock glaring at her
<Nolyghots>	EEK!
*	Nolyghots hides
<Nolyghots>	$endturn
<Navi>	Nolyghots has ended their turn. Octorok2: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Vincent_Valentine (11), Red_Enrics (10), Kirran (9), Bob (8), HouenKyomu (7), Dex (6), Nolyghots (5), Octorok2 (2) and GuaySwarms (0).
<Dex>	$1d5
<Navi>	Dex: You rolled 1 Die with 5 Sides. Result: 2. Total: 2.
<Dex>	boo
*	Octorok2 has no interest in tentacle raping a ghost.
<Octorok2>	(even if it's female)
<Nolyghots>	(lol)
*	Octorok2 does, however, fire a rock at the leader of the army. (Roll Power, Dex)
*	DM completely forgot about a certain field effect, so he's not gonna bother remembering it. Maybe next time.
<Octorok2>	$18d10
<Navi>	Octorok2: You rolled 18 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 8, 2, 4, 10, 4, 3, 7, 9, 8, 6, 5, 6, 6, 9, 1, 6 and 8. Total: 108. Successes: 14.
<Dex>	12d10
<Dex>	er
<Dex>	$12d10
<Dex>	woops
<Navi>	Dex: You rolled 12 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 1, 5, 9, 10, 1, 2, 9, 8, 9, 5 and 10. Total: 77. Successes: 11.
<Dex>	damn
<DM>	14 - 11 = 3 - 2 = 1 damage
<Dex>	there goes my leech heart
*	Octorok2 rocks Dex a little, but is unsucessful in sending him to a rock concert.
<Octorok2>	4h, ?m
<Octorok2>	$endturn
<Navi>	Octorok2 has ended their turn. GuaySwarms: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Vincent_Valentine (11), Red_Enrics (10), Kirran (9), Bob (8), HouenKyomu (7), Dex (6), Nolyghots (5), Octorok2 (2) and GuaySwarms (0).
<Dex>	also i totally forgot to add +1 to the defense against steam
<Dex>	a durr
*	GuaySwarms join together to form a x3 Flock.
*	GuaySwarms tries to Dive Bomb Red_Enrics! (Roll Courage)
<GuaySwarms>	$12d10
<Navi>	GuaySwarms: You rolled 12 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2, 9, 7, 10, 9, 4, 9, 6, 6, 3, 10 and 6. Total: 81. Successes: 11.
*	Red_Enrics attempts to block
<GuaySwarms>	-1
<Red_Enrics>	$14
<Red_Enrics>	$14d10
<Navi>	Red_Enrics: You rolled 14 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 8, 9, 10, 5, 9, 1, 7, 8, 1, 4, 6, 4 and 9. Total: 85. Successes: 10.
<DM>	ROLLOFF
<Red_Enrics>	$14d10
<Navi>	Red_Enrics: You rolled 14 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2, 1, 1, 6, 9, 1, 10, 8, 3, 4, 7, 7, 7 and 10. Total: 76. Successes: 10.
<GuaySwarms>	$12d10
<Navi>	GuaySwarms: You rolled 12 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2, 6, 6, 6, 4, 1, 1, 8, 3, 4, 10 and 6. Total: 57. Successes: 7.
<Dex>	does the bleed carry over?
*	GuaySwarms misses and hits a rock, knocking off a heart.
<DM>	yes
<DM>	(... why does it even have a magic stat... lol)
<GuaySwarms>	5h, ?m, bleeding, (-1 Guay)
<GuaySwarms>	$endturn
<Navi>	GuaySwarms has ended their turn. Vincent_Valentine: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Vincent_Valentine (11), Red_Enrics (10), Kirran (9), Bob (8), HouenKyomu (7), Dex (6), Nolyghots (5), Octorok2 (2) and GuaySwarms (0).
*	GuaySwarms takes a bleed damage.
<GuaySwarms>	4h, ?m, bleeding (-2 Guay)
*	Vincent_Valentine grabs his Spiked Boomerang and hurls it at a GuaySwam! (Roll Power!)
<Vincent_Valentine>	$16d10
<Navi>	Vincent_Valentine: You rolled 16 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 6, 3, 7, 7, 1, 8, 7, 2, 9, 1, 1, 2, 8, 5 and 7. Total: 78. Successes: 9.
<GuaySwarms>	$4d10
<Navi>	GuaySwarms: You rolled 4 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 1, 2, 6 and 7. Total: 16. Successes: 2.
*	GuaySwarms becomes a rebound shield for the Spiked Boomerang as it explodes on contact.
<GuaySwarms>	$removeme
<Navi>	GuaySwarms has removed theirself from the battle. Turn Order: Vincent_Valentine (11), Red_Enrics (10), Kirran (9), Bob (8), HouenKyomu (7), Dex (6), Nolyghots (5) and Octorok2 (2).
*	Vincent_Valentine 's boomerang redirects itself at an OP octorock. (Roll Power!)
<Vincent_Valentine>	$12d10
<Navi>	Vincent_Valentine: You rolled 12 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 7, 10, 6, 7, 1, 4, 2, 5, 4, 10, 10 and 5. Total: 71. Successes: 11.
<Octorok2>	$15d10
<Navi>	Octorok2: You rolled 15 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 1, 7, 1, 2, 8, 6, 9, 10, 4, 1, 5, 8, 2, 9 and 2. Total: 75. Successes: 9.
*	Octorok2 is hit, but the boomerang bounces off its skin.
<DM>	(OP octorock?)
<Vincent_Valentine>	:p
<Red_Enrics>	lol
<Vincent_Valentine>	$endturn
<Navi>	Vincent_Valentine has ended their turn. Red_Enrics: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Vincent_Valentine (11), Red_Enrics (10), Kirran (9), Bob (8), HouenKyomu (7), Dex (6), Nolyghots (5) and Octorok2 (2).
<Kirran>	(Optorock?)
<Octorok2>	4h, ?m
<DM>	(That's officially gonna be a need enemy.)
<DM>	*be a new enemy
*	Red_Enrics Attempts to kill the Octorock that way he's been doing this
<Red_Enrics>	$14d10
<Navi>	Red_Enrics: You rolled 14 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 1, 10, 6, 4, 4, 7, 4, 7, 7, 8, 2, 6, 3 and 6. Total: 75. Successes: 9.
<Octorok2>	$9d10
<Navi>	Octorok2: You rolled 9 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 7, 5, 9, 2, 10, 1, 3 and 7. Total: 49. Successes: 7.
*	Octorok2 is hit, but once again, your pitiful attack bounces off its skin. Try again next time!
<Octorok2>	4h, ?m
*	DM pokes Red_Enrics with $endturn?
<Red_Enrics>	Oh right
<Red_Enrics>	12h 1m
<Red_Enrics>	$endturn
<Navi>	Red_Enrics has ended their turn. Kirran: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Vincent_Valentine (11), Red_Enrics (10), Kirran (9), Bob (8), HouenKyomu (7), Dex (6), Nolyghots (5) and Octorok2 (2).
*	Kirran nocks an arrow and fires it at the Octorock (roll courage)
<Kirran>	$18d10
<Navi>	Kirran: You rolled 18 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 6, 8, 6, 3, 8, 10, 2, 8, 10, 10, 2, 6, 2, 8, 9, 4 and 10. Total: 117. Successes: 17.
*	Octorok2 pre-emptively submits to death, but rolls anyways.
*	Kirran is no longer afraid since the birds are dead.
<Octorok2>	$9d10
<Navi>	Octorok2: You rolled 9 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 3, 5, 5, 7, 7, 6, 5 and 10. Total: 54. Successes: 9.
<Octorok2>	17 - 9 = 8 - 2= 6 damage
*	Octorok2 is torn to pieces as the basic arrow explodes inside of its flesh, turning it inside out.
<Octorok2>	$removeme
<Navi>	Octorok2 has removed theirself from the battle. Turn Order: Vincent_Valentine (11), Red_Enrics (10), Kirran (9), Bob (8), HouenKyomu (7), Dex (6) and Nolyghots (5).
<DM>	$init r
<Navi>	DM: The bot has been reset.
<DM>	+42 EXP
<DM>	+$42d8 Rupees
<Dex>	$42d8
<Navi>	Dex: You rolled 42 Dice with 8 Sides. Result: 5, 8, 3, 8, 5, 8, 5, 7, 6, 6, 5, 3, 6, 8, 8, 3, 6, 4, 8, 2, 7, 7, 7, 2, 4, 5, 7, 5, 7, 5, 3, 8, 3, 4, 1, 4, 7, 8, 1, 5, 5 and 4. Total: 223.
<DM>	Random Item Drops for GuaySwarms....
<DM>	$3d12
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 3 Dice with 12 Sides. Result: 7, 2 and 6. Total: 15.
<Red_Enrics>	$12d8
<Navi>	Red_Enrics: You rolled 12 Dice with 8 Sides. Result: 3, 3, 2, 3, 5, 6, 4, 6, 4, 3, 7 and 3. Total: 49.
<Vincent_Valentine>	$calc 21+42
<Kefka>	21+42 = 63
<Kirran>	$42d8
<Navi>	Kirran: You rolled 42 Dice with 8 Sides. Result: 8, 3, 6, 3, 3, 8, 3, 3, 8, 1, 8, 3, 6, 7, 3, 1, 4, 5, 1, 6, 1, 4, 8, 7, 8, 5, 2, 1, 1, 3, 2, 7, 7, 7, 7, 8, 5, 4, 3, 4, 7 and 5. Total: 196.
<DM>	Random item drops for Octoroks....
<DM>	$2d12
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 2 Dice with 12 Sides. Result: 12 and 10. Total: 22.
<Vincent_Valentine>	$calc 63-35
<Kefka>	63-35 = 28
<Red_Enrics>	$42d8
<Navi>	Red_Enrics: You rolled 42 Dice with 8 Sides. Result: 6, 5, 7, 4, 8, 6, 1, 3, 7, 5, 4, 6, 8, 8, 2, 7, 8, 5, 4, 1, 5, 3, 2, 4, 7, 7, 3, 6, 3, 4, 7, 6, 4, 3, 8, 8, 4, 8, 2, 4, 4 and 3. Total: 210.
<DM>	*A Heart Container, a bomb, a Water Scroll #1, and a Water Scroll #2 drop*
*	Red_Enrics yoinks the HC
*	Vincent_Valentine yoinks the bomb.
<DM>	(Annnnd no one is water, you're all lame.)
*	Dex shrugs.
*	HouenKyomu picks up both of them.
*	Kirran is shaky from the encounter.
*	Vincent_Valentine blames your systems.
<HouenKyomu>	Ooh, these look nice and shiny....
*	HouenKyomu can't use any of them and drops them on the gruond. I suppose someone could attempt to sell them later.
<Kirran>	I hope there's not more of those avian bastards where we're going.
<DM>	http://zurpg.sephiroth.ws/showthread.php?tid=22 - scrolls, if anyone wants them
<Red_Enrics>	I have finished upgrading my chracter
<Vincent_Valentine>	$42d8
<HouenKyomu>	Hmm, let's see, if my memory serves me correctly, which it always does IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE..
<Navi>	Vincent_Valentine: You rolled 42 Dice with 8 Sides. Result: 2, 1, 1, 4, 6, 7, 7, 2, 5, 4, 1, 7, 2, 3, 1, 4, 4, 8, 2, 2, 3, 1, 3, 1, 5, 6, 4, 7, 8, 6, 3, 1, 3, 1, 7, 2, 2, 5, 7, 2, 3 and 7. Total: 160.
<Vincent_Valentine>	$calc 160+954
<Kefka>	160+954 = 1,114
<HouenKyomu>	We'd have to head back to find the bird nest.
*	Kirran blanches at even the thought.
<Kirran>	Count me out of that one...
<Dex>	Guess I'll take the scrolls.
<Red_Enrics>	(Eating cereal)
<HouenKyomu>	Hmm, Deku Fortress should be just ahead.
*	Kirran drinks some milk and sits on a rock to calm down.
<HouenKyomu>	Now then, shall we head onwards?
*	HouenKyomu juggles some more elements around to pass the time.
<Dex>	Sure.
*	Nolyghots eats both of the Octorock's hearts
<DM>	(Careful Dex. You let the scientist lead ya around like that making the decisions for ya and the army might follow him.*
<Dex>	Well I'm tryin to eat the octorock eyeballs.
<IndestructibleCarl>	Whatcha doin' boss, we da gots to takes down dat greed pig, don'ts we?
<Dex>	Just having a snack IC.
<Dex>	You want an eyeball?
<IndestructibleCarl>	Uhh... sure... boss.
*	IndestructibleCarl takes the eyeball and eats it.
<DM>	$1d4
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 1 Die with 4 Sides. Result: 4. Total: 4.
<Nolyghots>	oooooh, Eyeballs, can I have one?!~
*	IndestructibleCarl enjoys the eyeball.
<IndestructibleCarl>	Ah, now DIS is good!
*	HouenKyomu waltzes on ahead without you lot.
<Dex>	Awright. I'm good to go.
*	Vincent_Valentine follows.
<Dex>	You boys ready?
<IndestructibleCarl>	Don't worry boss, dey can't kill me, I'm invicilbneareale.
<Dex>	Good cause you're most likely going to have to smash stuff.
<Nolyghots>	Dexy, can I have an eyeball?
<IndestructibleCarl>	Sweet!
<Dex>	Did we get a horn yet?
<IndestructibleCarl>	Dah... uhhhh.....
*	IndestructibleCarl just follows Dex with the rest of the army.
<Dex>	You can have an eyeball next time we murder something. Carl ate the last octorock eyeball.
<Dex>	LETS GO PEOPLE
<Nolyghots>	Aww!
<DM>	*You all continue to head east.*
<Kirran>	(I picture our scientist friend looking like this with the whole element juggling thing:http://info.sonicretro.org/images/thumb/0/02/TryAgain-Sonic1MD.png/180px-TryAgain-Sonic1MD.png)
<DM>	(Fyi, HouenKyomu is based off of the main character of Steins;Gate, a really awesome anime)
<DM>	*After a few more minutes of walking, you find yourselves in front of bridge (made of large lilypads) leading up to a much larger fortress. A line of 6 guards with bow/arrows lines the top of the wall.*
*	Vincent_Valentine kicks Nolyghots out the window.
<--	Vincent_Valentine has kicked Nolyghots from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in front of a crashing jet! «14,251»)
<DM>	[Guard]: Halt! Who stands before the mighty great wall of our great king?
<DM>	*The gate on the other end of the bridge of lily pads appears to be open.*
<Dex>	Door to door vaccuum salesmen!
<Dex>	Need a vaccuum cleaner?
<DM>	[Guard]: A what?!
<Dex>	Sir don't tell me you don't have a vaccuum cleaner!
<Blobby>	Errm, boss, wot's a hackuum bleeder?
<Dex>	Why with a place this big you'd need 2 or 3 vaccuums at least!
*	Dex whispers to Blobby
<DM>	[Guard]: ... is it expensive?
<Dex>	Don't worry I'm trying to trick them.
<Blobby>	Oh. Ah, dat's our boss!
*	Blobby snaps his blobby fingers.
<Dex>	Well sir I can't tell a lie. It will cost a bit but don't worry. It won't burn a hole in your pocket!
<Dex>	In fact it practically PAYS FOR ITSELF after just a few cleanings!
<Dex>	It saves you a lot of work and, more importantly, a lot of time!
<DM>	[Guard]: Then... by our great lord, you are to rightfully bring it in and give it to him. You alone may cross; the others must stay.
*	Dex whispers to Bob.
<Dex>	If I'm not back in 5 minutes consider murderizing things.
<Bob>	Whuteva you says Boss.
<Dex>	Just let me get my sample case good sir and I will be right in!
<DM>	[Guard]: Do not delay! Everything of value belongs to the great lord. Bring it in at once!
<Dex>	Ok. Kirran Red and Vince you guys follow me.
<Dex>	Try to act like you're carrying something really really heavy.
*	HouenKyomu pokes a lily pad with his wand. It sinks slightly.
<HouenKyomu>	Hmm, you may want to be careful. Me thinks each pad won't hold more than one person at a time.
*	Vincent_Valentine does so. o.O'
*	Kirran plays along.
<Dex>	So we go in single file. Big whoop.
<Red_Enrics>	(Still on Autofollow)
<DM>	[Guard]: Man, whatever that vacuum is must be really heavy. Surely, a treat for the great lord!
<Dex>	Indeed this is why I need my associates to help me carry it in.
<DM>	*You all head across the bridge of lily pads, acting like you're carrying something heavy (THE WEIGHT OF MY 4TH WALL! ... ignore that).*
*	Vincent_Valentine kicks DM out the window.
<--	Vincent_Valentine has kicked DM from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in a sumo wrestling arena! «14,252»)
<DM>	touche
<DM>	*You all reach the other side fine. Huh, it's not a gate, just a really large open door.*
<DM>	*Inside is a wooden palace (just remembered, this place is the Deku Palace, not the Deku Fortress, derp), with well over 30 guards lined up before you.*
<Kirran>	(are the guards dekus or humans?)
<DM>	*Each guard is barely even carrying anything. Leather armor, some light clothing, and some very crude weapons.*
<DM>	(Humans)
<DM>	*Some bound-up Dekus are around as well, being prodded for the entertainment of the guards.*
<DM>	*Seems each guard isn't actually that strong, but there's definitely a lot of them.*
<DM>	*Ahead of you is a large hallway. Even more guards line the way, armed with spears, some half-broken swords, and not much else.*
<DM>	*One of the guards speak to you.*
<DM>	[Guard]: Right this, down to the end of the hallway. Our lord awaits.
<DM>	*He notices some of your extravagant gear.*
<Dex>	Excellent. Thank you my good fellow.
<DM>	[Guard]: Ooh, you've brought a lot for the lord. He will be most pleased!
<Dex>	Come gentlemen let's not keep his lordship waiting.
<DM>	*You reach a door at the end of the hallway. The handle seems cold to the touch.*
<Dex>	Could someone get this door for us. Our hands are full.
<DM>	*One of the guards shivers walking to it, quickly pulls it open and heads away.*
<Kirran>	You know Dex, if you played you cards right, I think you could easily add these guys to your ranks. They look terrible.
<Dex>	We'll see. They might be too fanatical.
<DM>	*Before you is a grand, blank room that feels like a freezer. A large, burly man clad in the frozen hide of a Lynel sits in a grand chair, atop of a small staircase. He seems bored out of his mind as he swings a massive curved sword around in the air.*
<Dex>	Hello sir. I take it you are the Man of the House?
<DM>	*He notices you lot at the door to his chamber and turns towards you.*
<Red_Enrics>	I blacked out for a second there, what happened?
<GreedKing>	Yes. I am the Greed King. Bow before me and hand over your items. They rightfully belong to me. You have simply been carrying them around for me.
<Dex>	Now hold on a minute sir, I'd like to show you a revolutionary new item.
<Dex>	It's called the vaccuum cleaner.
<Nolyghots>	Greed King, you say?
<DM>	(My god, you're actually doing this.)
*	Dex sets his vaccuum cleaner down.
<Dex>	Ok boys just set them down here next to mine.
*	Vincent_Valentine places his down next to Dex's.
<GreedKing>	Everything in this world belongs to me.
<DM>	(Don't actually remove the items from your profile.)
<Dex>	Ah yes indeed!
<Nolyghots>	Except me. :3
<Dex>	And what better way to accumulate the wealth than through this fine piece of technomagic?
<GreedKing>	A ghost? Also mine. It shall keep me company when I'm bored.
<GreedKing>	Techno... magic?
<GreedKing>	Please, demonstrate its... power... before my eyes.
<Dex>	Yes sir Technology meets Magic!
<Dex>	Ah you wish for a demonstration?
<Dex>	Well I'm afraid these are just the show models they don't actually work.
<Nolyghots>	Sorry, but my life belongs to someone else.
<Dex>	HOWEVER
<Dex>	As it just so happens we have a few working models outside!
<GreedKing>	Then bring them in.
<GreedKing>	Do not waste my time with these pitiful imitations.
<Dex>	Right away sir. Would you care to see the deulux version in action or just the standard model?
<GreedKing>	All of them. They all belong to me, after all.
*	GrammarNazi eats Dex's typo!
*	GrammarNazi spits out the typoes at Dex1
<Dex>	Hmmm. Well in that case I might need to recruit all of my sales associates in order to bring them all inside.
<GrammarNazi>	(Deluxe*)
<Dex>	Is this ok Sir?
<Dex>	dex1?
<GreedKing>	Hmm... that is acceptable.
<Kirran>	(Dex Bluffmaster)
<Dex>	We'll be right back sir.
<DM>	(Somehow, that actually worked.)
<GreedKing>	Be quick. I do not have time to triffle with slow pokes.
<Kirran>	(He really is the Greed King)
<Dex>	Let's go gentlemen.
<Dex>	are we outside yet?
<GreedKing>	Waste my time and I'll waste your life.
<DM>	*You head back outside, where you see Bob ready to give the order to attack.*
<Dex>	Ok guys everyone has to act like they are carrying something heavy
<Dex>	Invisible and heavy.
<Dex>	Got it?
<Bob>	Yeah Boss I got it.
*	Red_Enrics pulls out hius THumda Hamma
<Red_Enrics>	*Thunda
<Dex>	The rest of you understand?
<Red_Enrics>	Oh, them
<DM>	*They all nod.*
*	Red_Enrics puts the Thunda Hamma away
<Dex>	Ok single file across the bridge now. Don't fight till you hear the signal.
<Dex>	SCENE TRANSITION PLEASE
<DM>	*You head back across the bridge. Slowly..... scene transition granted.*
<DM>	*All of you are inside the grand hallway, surrounded by the guards. They all seem a bit.... agitated.*
<Dex>	Could someone get the door for us again. These vaccuum cleaners are heavy.
*	Nolyghots gets it
<Dex>	Thanks.
<Nolyghots>	This means next time you owe me TWO Eyeballs
<DM>	*You're met by the GreedKing's sword hovering about a foot in front of your face (Dex).*
<Dex>	Hi. We're back.
<GreedKing>	Did you really think you could just sneak your way in here with those fakes?
<Dex>	What fakes?
<GreedKing>	We looked at the model. It fell apart the moment we touched it.
<Dex>	Sir the display models are just for show.
<Dex>	THESE are the real models.
<Dex>	OK boys put them down in front of the throne so His Lordship can take a look at them.
*	GreedKing continues to block the door.
*	Vincent_Valentine kicks GreedKing out the window.
<--	Vincent_Valentine has kicked GreedKing from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in the Arctic Ocean «14,254»)
*	Nolyghots phases through GreedKing
<DM>	*If his room is that cold, does that count as the Arctic Ocean?*
*	DM runs.
<Nolyghots>	Hmm.
*	Vincent_Valentine kicks DM out the window.
<--	Vincent_Valentine has kicked DM from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on the net of a tennis match! Uhoh, this could get ugly. «14,255»)
<DM>	touche
<GreedKing>	Hmm... very well.
*	GreedKing stands to the side, sword still drawn.
<Dex>	Now then. You seem to be a man who likes the finer things in life am I right?
<GreedKing>	Likes? Nay, they are mine.
<Dex>	But you do enjoy things of a higher quality correct?
<GreedKing>	Of course. It's the best a man can get.
<DM>	GILETTE
*	DM ruuuuuuuuuns.
*	Vincent_Valentine kicks DM out the window.
<--	Vincent_Valentine has kicked DM from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on Yoshi's tongue! Whoa! «14,256»)
<Kirran>	(saw that one coming)
<Dex>	Yes sir I could tell at a glance.
<Dex>	Now how would you like in on a little secret?
<GreedKing>	It's a secret no more. Spit it out. Knowledge belongs to me as well.
<GreedKing>	All secrets are known to me.
<Dex>	Well. One of these is the best vaccuum cleaner we make.
<Nolyghots>	Like this secret?
*	Nolyghots presses a switch, revealing a treasure
<Dex>	But a man such as yourself probably doesn't want the common rabble to see it.
*	Nolyghots 's eyes gleam
<GreedKing>	On the contrary, the fools need to see me in all my greatest glory.
<Nolyghots>	*Treasure room
<Dex>	Ah but if they see THIS vaccuum they might try to steal it from you.
<DM>	(Fyi, this is ending sometime withint he next 10 minutes, twill continue (and probably finish) tomorrow at 7:30pm CST)
<GreedKing>	Fools!
<GreedKing>	I am the King of Greed. Those that try to steal from me shall fall to my blade.
<Vincent_Valentine>	(Might I ask why the super-early start time today)
<DM>	(cause I'm running the session for high level players after this one)
<Vincent_Valentine>	(ahh)
<Nolyghots>	You might wanna look at your treasure room then, big monster man!
<Nolyghots>	Everything is gooooooone~
<Vincent_Valentine>	(Well then, intermission needed, I NEED FOOD.)
*	Nolyghots flees with his treasure
*	Kirran engages Sheikah stealh mode while Dex bluffs.
*	Nolyghots phases through a wall
<GreedKing>	I have no treasure room. I myself am the greatest treasure of all.
<Dex>	Tell you what sir. You send your guards away and take a look at this vaccuum first. Then you can decide if its worth the risk of showing it off to the commoners.
<Nolyghots>	Eh?
<Dex>	I mean you don't want to have to kill your minions do you?
<DM>	(Kirran, roll Wisdom)
<Nolyghots>	Then what'd I just steal?
<Dex>	Less minions means less people to bask in your glory.
<Kirran>	$12d10
<Navi>	Kirran: You rolled 12 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 3, 2, 7, 8, 4, 6, 3, 3, 9, 10 and 3. Total: 63. Successes: 7.
<DM>	Air. Air in its finest.
<DM>	*Kirran hides away undetected against the chaos that is suspense.*
<GreedKing>	These here are the most loyal of my servants. They will not steal from me.
<GreedKing>	Now, show it to me!
*	Kirran sneaks away to see if there's anything he can do to free the bound dekus he saw earlier.
<Dex>	Well sir if you're sure...
<Dex>	but...
<Dex>	what about them outside?
<Dex>	Can you trust them too?
<DM>	*The Dekus are bound just by ropes. You can cut them free just fine.*
<GreedKing>	Of course. They're mine. My own loyal servants.
<GreedKing>	Now get to it and show me!
<Dex>	But how can you be sure sir?
<Dex>	What if, even now, they plot to overthrow you?
<GreedKing>	Their plot to overthrow me would be my property.
<GreedKing>	........
*	Kirran proceeds to free them as quickly as he can, whispering for them to be quiet and asking if they'd join the group to get their palaca back.
<GreedKing>	... wait, let me think that through real fast.
<Kirran>	palace*
<DM>	$1d3
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 1 Die with 3 Sides. Result: 2. Total: 2.
<DM>	*You untie two groups when a guard notices you.*
<DM>	[Guard]: Hey. YOU THERE! THOSE ARE PROPERTY OF THE LORD, STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING!
<Kirran>	(thinking quickly) He asked for them to be present for the vacuum unveiling.
<DM>	*More guards notice you and surround you, though Dex's army helps confront them.*
<Nolyghots>	You know what?
<Nolyghots>	It's time for me to help!
*	Nolyghots possesses one of the guards
<DM>	(Roll Wis- nevermind, they have no wisdom, all yours)
<Nolyghots>	(Preferably a Female Guard. :3)
<DM>	(Uhh, sure why not.)
<DM>	*The sound of the commotion reaches the throne room.*
<GreedKing>	What's that?!
<Dex>	did the king think it through yet?
<GreedKing>	I demand to know what's causing that racket outside!
<Dex>	Well you wanted a demonstration yes?
<GreedKing>	SHOW ME NOW!
<Dex>	I need some deku scrubs to power the machinery.
*	GreedKing grows tired of this madness.
<Nolyghots>	MAdness?!
<Nolyghots>	THIS
<Nolyghots>	IS
*	Vincent_Valentine kicks Nolyghots out the window.
<GreedKing>	ACTIVATE IT NOW OR I'LL GUT YOU HERE AND NOW!
<Nolyghots>	NOLY!
<--	Vincent_Valentine has kicked Nolyghots from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in a Billy Ronald quest! «14,257»)
<Dex>	Welp I guess the jig is up.
*	Nolyghots kicks GreedKing in the face
<Dex>	It was a good run
<Dex>	ATTACK BOYS!
<HouenKyomu>	Let's make this a bit confusing.
<GreedKing>	WHAT, WHERE'D YOU COME FRO-
<Bob>	FOR DA BIG LITTLE BOSS!
<Red_Enrics>	SHAZAM!
<Red_Enrics>	SCYTHE POWER
*	HouenKyomu envelops the fortress in a vision-blocking mist.
*	Red_Enrics runs into battle
<HouenKyomu>	MWAHAHAHAHAHAH, LET THE CHAOS ENSUE!
<DM>	*palace
<Nolyghots>	MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
<Nolyghots>	MWAHAHAHAHAHA!~<3
*	GrammarNazi eats HouenKyomu's misused words.
*	Nolyghots laughs alongside Kyomo
*	GrammarNazi spits the typoes out at HouenKyomu!
<DM>	-=QUEST PAUSE=-