For the Blood

[19:45] A mist descended on the area, coiling about as it flashed behind the Shimasu.

Soon enough, it materialized into the figure of a young man, steps only bellowing out a noise so quiet it rattles not even a rat.

"Forgive me, my lady. I've made you wait for so long," said Salthiel, offering the kitsune a bow.
(Salthiel Anauel)
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[19:50] The Chancellor sat, legs crossed and eyes closed, on a lone pillow positioned on a small, carpeted dock that extended slightly over the edge of her meditative pool. The water wasn't hot - these were not hotsprings, perhaps much to everyone's disappointment - but it was warm enough that sitting near it proved to be at least marginally relaxing in the same way that sitting near a fireplace was. She seemed to have found a few particularly heat-resistant koi fish to swim and flit about, too.

Ergo, it was the perfect place to meditate. There was nary a sound in the shrine; Satsuki ordered all of her attendants to make themselves scarce in the back room, and one of them locked the door shortly after Salthiel's arrival. The fish swam, but the noise was imperceptible. There was only Satsuki, on her pillow, two statues of a nine-tailed fox flanking the door behind her.

And her breathing.

Without even opening her eyes, she nodded to Salthiel as he materialized behind her. And, though a shift in her eyebrows betrayed that she was marginally surprised by the boy's decision to appear behind her, she seemed more or less undeterred. Her left hand raised to gesture to the pillows opposite her, on the other end of the pool. First things first, she was directing Salthiel to take a seat on the opposite end of the pool, where three cushions sat awaiting students.

Her hand remained raised - waiting. Everything was wordless - as if the silence of the shrine was so important that she didn't quite want to break it yet.
(Satsuki Shimasu)
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[19:58] He nodded as the Shimasu gestured forth for him to move.

No, he did not, however, just move. Afraid of causing a disturbance to an almost eerie silence. Eerie, for the youth was still yet incapable of the tranquility it provided; a mysterious and foreign feeling for quite the wrathful individual that he was.

Thus, in silence, he floated adrift the calm waters, carried by the embrace of the wind. His feet touched not the surface but the carpet adjacent to the kitsune's.

However, he did not know what to do, so he simply sat down on the pillow, crossing both legs as he put both palms atop his lap.

The beauty of the koi, however, was mesmerizing, causing the youth's mind to travel. Yet, soon, his attention was once caught as he focus his gaze upon the Chancellor.
(Salthiel Anauel)
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[20:17] Through one slightly open eye, she watched Salthiel just... cross over the water. Her head tilted ever so slightly to the side, but her expression didn't change. She'd have liked to smile here, even just a bit - but there was still a certain malaise and melancholy about her that seemed to prohibit it.

Regardless, finally, after a particularly long pause, she broke the silence. "...Welcome, Salthiel. The wait was... no problem at all," she said in response to his earlier greeting. "I barely even noticed it. I have been... lost in thought for the majority of the wait."

Without any noise louder than the fabric of her black kimono rubbing up against itself, her left hand lowered to rap silently against the carpet. A well-hidden handmaid emerged from her corner, getting to work on setting a number of incense holders around the perimeter of the pool. Each holder was elaborate and different - one was in the form of a nine-tailed fox, with nine wells to hold incense sticks. Another was in the shape of a phoenix. Another, still, resembled an angel.

Satsuki's left hand rose and she snapped her fingers, the loudest noise she had made up to this point. It echoed through the shrine, and with each echo it seemed that a stick of incense ignited itself. The scent of lavender quickly filled the air, and Satsuki inhaled deeply.

"Practitioners of Luminism... undergo three rituals before they become Illuminated. Though you have not come to me for that in particular, I... feel the first step of your journey and the first step of what was once my journey are two very similar things."

Both eyes opened slowly, and the Kitsune's unblinking gaze landed on the handmaid. With a nod, her assistant disappeared into the back room and emerged with a small gong a moment later. The door was so well-greased that it was an entirely silent gesture. More than anything, it seemed silence in this shrine was so meaningful, and every sound had to be important in order to exist.

"I have been told that... meditation for Illuminated purposes and meditation for Arcane purposes are two different things. Luminism is about... becoming one with the natural flow of the world, reading the path Fate is meant to take. The Arcane is too, but... also involves your own will. Passivity versus action - but... both of these things require meditation all the same."

Satsuki was not an Order magi, but she had at least some understanding of it - and though she might not be able to get Salthiel all the way, she'd be happy to help in whatever way she could.

"The first step of meditation is to... clear your mind, Salthiel. Close your eyes. Inhale slowly. In that moment where your breath is held, prior to exhaling, attempt to think of... nothing." Satsuki, too, closed her eyes once more and inhaled exactly as she instructed her student to do.

She exhaled. "When guiding... beginners, I... advise them to think of one thing while emptying their mind. Inhale, and... think of... a boundless sky, perhaps, or a vast expanse of ocean on a calm day. These are... both mental images that are very hard to get out of your mind once they are in it," she rambled on. "It is hard to think of anything else once that scene has overtaken your mind. And so it is a good starting point. Once it is visualized... exhale. And then inhale again."

She raised her hand slightly, and right on cue the handmaid sounded the gong. It wasn't particularly loud, but it was resonant - the kind of resonance that could only truly be heard in a place of faith.

"Close your eyes. Breathe. Think of the sky or the ocean, and... nothing else. Focus only on breathing - and nothing else. There is nothing but you, and you... are a thought, vagrant, in an empty eternity. Begin."
(Satsuki Shimasu)
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[20:41] He remained motionless, but his eyebrows slightly quirked upon the mention of Luminism's concept. To become one with the natural flow of the world, reading the path fate is meant to take. But the Arcane involved one's own will? It rattled his logic, but, perhaps he'd find its true meaning in the near future. Only time will tell.

And upon her instruction, the young magi closed his eyes, inhaling as she spoke and follow suit. It was only to familiarize himself with the steps.

And thus, he attempted to empty his mind, holding his breath as he did so. The boundless sky? The vast expanse of the ocean on a calm day? Of course, though meditation for learning magic was different, he thought it was still meditation just the same. Yet, he was so wrong, extremely wrong as he began to exhale.

The youth then shook his head as the Shimasu's voice trailed off, calming himself down by the mere fact that he was only familiarizing himself with the steps.

However, as he heard the maiden's gong, his heart sank. The true meditation has begun.

Thus, he remained still once more and emptied his thoughts. At least, he attempted to.

Think of the sky, think of the ocean, he thought to himself as he inhaled, breathing slowly and focusing on every breath.

No matter how hard he concentrated, it was as if he was being pulled into a pool of darkness.

-look at me. Look at my body! We are perfect beings, the vampire said.

"Damn, not now," he thought, and instead of the ocean, a battlefield of gore and blood was visualized in his mind.

He saw himself amongst both men and monsters. Of demons and vampires.

"You all are nothing to me, filthy scums of Agartha. Bow to me and bend your knees. Mercy shall not be given amongst those who go against me. Your head and your tears shall be the foundation of my castle. A castle of bones and blood. A	nd you will fear me!" said Salthiel, though it was a whisper to the kitsune's ears.

However, at the surface, he remained so tranquil and still, except for the piercing coldness he emanated; perhaps disturbing the place.

And all of a sudden, he felt extreme pain on his chest, looking behind him as Ceridor stabbed through his heart with a haughty grin.

And with that, it woke him up, flashing his eyes open as sweat trickled down his cheeks and blood running down his nose.

"I- I'm sorry," he said, eyes wide open as he looked at the kitsune.
(Salthiel Anauel)
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[20:50] "Like all magic, the Arcane stems from emotion. Holy magic like mine... comes from the desire to protect. 'Order,' too, stems from... stems... from..." she began, keen to continue the instruction. But then her ear twitched, and in an instant her eyes shot open - the same time Salthiel's did. There was a soft green glow in her eyes, magic without a mana signature, and whatever she saw when she stared at the boy caused her shoulders to sink slightly. Her expression didn't change; it was as neutral as ever.

With more haste than normal - but not in a frantic sense - her head turned to her assistant, eyes darting between Salthiel and the non-magi. As if Satsuki and this aging handmaid had a psychic link, she gave a bow and briefly retreated into the back room, returning to pass some item or other to Satsuki. The gong was gone for now.

The Chancellor rose, bare feet making only slight noise as she circled the length of the koi pond, coming around to Salthiel's side. It was rare for her to be on this side, though in this particular case it seemed necessary. The item she was given was offered to her poor student: it was a pure white handkerchief, embroidered with the insignia of a rose in the corner.

"...For the blood," she said quietly, still staring into the pool. "What did you see, Salthiel?"
(Satsuki Shimasu)
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[20:58] As the whole motion passed between Satsuki and her assistant, the youth remained staring at the water. Only responding nigh a few seconds as the Shimasu inquired.

"A battlefield. Demons and vampires," whispered Salthiel in response as he took the handkerchief, wiping his nose. His body was evidently shaking too, but not out of physical pain or superficial deterioration.

"They- I- I did not have any control over myself. I felt immense wrath. Immense hate. I wanted them to fear me. I wanted to make them suffe-" and he closed his eyes, gritting his teeth.

"I don't want this, my lady," he said softly as he lowered his head a tad bit, his voice shaky.

"When I saw the vampire stab me. I- I'm scared."
(Salthiel Anauel)
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[21:13] Satsuki's greatest failing - one of the myriad reasons that she could never truly be an Order magi - is that she lacked the degree of empathy required for it. As Salthiel sat there trembling, the Kitsune's only reaction was to stare. By some unfortunate twist of fate - by some mistake of her birth - she was completely devoid of the ability to connect meaningfully.

And so she watched. There would be no attempt at comfort or reassurance, only the uncomfortable, unblinking gaze of Wisdom. But, in time, she managed to speak, her metaphorical canids sinking into one particular point.

"To attune to the Arcane - to Order - is to impose your will on the world, in a... positive fashion. You cannot be haunted; you cannot lose the battle of wills, Salthiel." She hummed quietly, gaze (perhaps mercifully) returning to the pool as she mulled it all over.

"To be motivated by wrath- hatred- malice- that is... what the profane things of the world do. That is Chaotic. Those who pursue Order... cannot be like them," she prattled on, voice as robotic as ever. "You cannot be like them."

Those attuned to the Arcane felt heightened emotions as a matter of principle. Satsuki didn't quite know that, not really - but she did know that there had to be an underlying reason for Order magi to be in control. As long as Salthiel had no control over himself, they couldn't move forward.

"There is... a common misgiving, a frequent misunderstanding," she continued, still breathing slowly and calmly. She was, as a whole, detached - even while trying to guide Salthiel, the Chancellor had no real emotional investment. "That love and compassion is a weakness. There is also the misunderstanding that 'death is a mercy.'"

She shook her head at the thought. She hated that saying.

"The profane elements of the world - demons, vampires - they... must be eradicated, but not with hatred. Not with malice. They must be removed because they are a blight, an affliction. A doctor does not... personally despise a disease. They merely... do their task efficiently."

She paused again from her rambling, looking across the pool at her handmaid. The two nodded at each other, once more communicating wordlessly - though it wasn't much of a stretch to assume the assistant was telling her superior to get to the point.

"All the profane things in the world are a cancer to the lifestream. We must be... equal to them, on the opposite end of the spectrum. We must be sacred, Salthiel. Destroy them all - but not with malice. Not with hatred. Not with thoughts of fire and war, blood and bones. No..."

As childish as it sounded: "You must instead be fueled by a righteous cause. The desire to save the world, to protect what is important to you - when taking the lives of the vampire menace, your thoughts should be... of all that you are saving, not of all that you are destroying. You... cannot let them win the mental battle."
(Satsuki Shimasu)
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[21:26] He was scared of failing. The youth never feared death, proven by the fact of his constant roaming and hunting. He feared not of death, but failing the Shimasu's teachings. He did not fear death, but feared losing against the dark and impure.

His head drooped low as Satsuki spoke, only listening every word and wisdom she has to say.

"Please tell me, my lady. How do I control it? How do I cast away thoughts of wrath and hatred? Whenever I think of our enemies, I feel the need to only return the sufferings they've bestowed on others. I feel the need to impose on them pain others do not have the power to do so. If this is not justice, if this is not sacred but chaos instead; then, what should I do? To attain equality against the profane on the other end of the spectrum, shouldn't I shield myself from feelings like love? Shouldn't I obliterate feelings of kindness or compassion?

If I were to destroy them all, without the need for ecstasy caused by their demise, shouldn't I steel myself and be devoid of emotions?" he asked, glancing to the kitsune.

"And am I really saving someone by taking the lives of vampires? The innocent and the weak, the cattle of the caste. Am I really saving them? Or am I only feeding myself the false sense of justice by thinking I can actually save them?"
(Salthiel Anauel)
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[21:46] Salthiel's questions hit a bit too close to home. She was never a particularly feeling or expressive person, and the direction her life took only made her more empty. She named her technique after nothingness and voidness; how appropriate, then, that she emulated it down to her personality.

She could never be one with Order. Salthiel, though - she still beleived in him.

"Monsters make people suffer because it is their nature. It is an evil, destructive nature - but their nature all the same. I do not... hate things for their nature - but I recognize that they must be eliminated all the same. That is how you should approach this, Salthiel. Demons are imperfect creations that must be destroyed. Vampires are a cursed race, once mortal but no longer so. And they, too, must be destroyed. For it is /our/ nature to do the right thing, like it is theirs to do the wrong thing."

She was putting it in very simple, almost infantile terms - not intended as an insult to the young Salthiel, but instead as an introduction to the concept. Fables and storybooks, for children though they may be, carried good and simple messages as well. They worked - because something simple enough to be understood by a child could be understood by anyone.

"I know full well that the two of us... do not fear death," she said, apparently switching topics without even the slightest warning. "But I fear other things. I fear the deaths of... those that I have come to consider important to me, for instance. I can only speak from... my perspective, but while I seek to destroy the profane things in the world, it is... because I wish to protect that which is important to me."

It was hard to believe, perhaps, that someone as robotic and hollow as Satsuki had people that she considered important - but she was someone who had no understanding of dishonesty. It was not in her nature to lie; on the contrary, she often offered too much information. Nothing she said was even remotely false.

"I would be nothing if not for that. All great people need something which motivates them - and we, Salthiel, must pull from positive things. To throw away love and compassion only leads to Chaos, or... at best, only to failure. And ask yourself this, Salthiel," she mused, eyes flitting from the pond to her student, "What can the innocent hope for, if not for you? If you will not defend them, then who will?"
(Satsuki Shimasu)
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[21:58] "Monsters doomed to create chaos and discord. For it is in their nature, huh," muttered Salthiel, furrowing his eyebrows after Satsuki asked him a question. Usually, such posed question is rhetorical, but perhaps not for the young man.

"Someone told me something similar once, that I would be no different from the monsters I fight if I were to become like them. That I would serve not justice, the good, or the innocent but myself alone. And I told him that the world had enough of good, righteous people defending the weak. And that instead, I even if I shall become a monster, I will become someone that even the mightiest of vampires and demons fear. That I will return them the pain and suffering they cause others," said Salthiel and looked at the Shimasu with a light smile, an indirect answer to her question.

"To make them quiver with fear, and make them despair as I slowly whittle the life out of them. Please tell me, my lady. Is that chaos? Or is that justice?"
(Salthiel Anauel)
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[22:11] "...It is all wrong," she responded simply, shaking her head slowly and rising to her feet, hands clasping behind her back. There was no disappointment in her words, nor her expression. She was as neutral as ever - just like a doll. "A demon could never attain Order, because... their nature forbids it. When considering that, I... cannot hate them. I do not pity them, but I do not hate them. I recognize that things are simply... as they are, and the appropriate action is to... remove them," she rambled on as she trod silently back around the pool, circling once more to her own pillow.

"You believe that he who fights monsters becomes a monster himself. I would... counter that, Salthiel, by pointing to examples of the contrary. Ikkaku Ukitake, blessed by the angels, was not a monster. He was a man that wanted the right thing for the world. He was Justice personified. He was mighty. He was feared by all things profane."

She shook her head again, slowly and methodically. Satsuki as a whole seemed largely incapable of quick motions when out of battle. She was a glacier in human form. "But he was not a monster. It is... too easy to become a monster, Salthiel. No, he became... a nightmare for his enemies - but a symbol of hope for those who believed in him. For those who followed him. For those who... knew he would always protect them."

She lowered back onto her own pillow, crossing her legs once more. Her unwavering gaze remained singularly locked onto Salthiel now - that almost wretched, unblinking gaze that scrutinized and analyzed every motion, and even seemed to be able to stare into a person's soul.

"It is not onlyabout you. The people... need someone to rely on - they need many people to rely on. And... hope cannot ride alone - not even Ikkaku Ukitake could right everything wrong with the world on his own. To... become a monster to fight monsters - it is... selfish, short-sighted."

Her left hand rose, gesturing across the pool to Salthiel. "Because then you are just as bad as a vampire, just as bad as a demon, only... on the right side. Your intentions are good, but your path is ruinous. Jiuweihu, the lifestream - they weep all the same, regardless of the target of your wrath."
(Satsuki Shimasu)
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[22:26] The youth looked away, as if he wanted to avoid the Shimasu's gaze, pursing his lips in thought.

"If I fall in the process, and if Jiuweihu, the lifestream and the heavens weep. Wouldn't it be worth it in the end, so long as I've crushed the plague that runs in this world?" asked Salthiel, looking back to Satsuki, before shaking his head.

"No, you're right. That's selfish and short-sighted," he added before closing his eyes.

"When I see the vile hurt those around me, and when I hear them mock me. Dark thoughts overcome myself. I lose sight of my friends, focusing on destruction alone for my enemy. But, I don't know how to control that. To see and acknowledge their nature, and not to lose my mind in the process. I don't know how to be calm and peaceful as the sea, to empty my thoughts and fill it empty with a picture of the endless sky," said Salthiel, biting the side of his lower lip.

"I do not know what I must do to serve the light. Like Ikkaku and his followers. Like Eagleheart or the Shogun. Or," he added, flashing his eyes open, filled with sorrow and despair.

"Like you."
(Salthiel Anauel)
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[22:38] Satsuki was torn between whether or not it was a good thing that Salthiel looked up to her or not. In terms of strength and willpower, she could be placed on the level of all those that the boy named. In practice, she fell short. She had never seriously pursued Order, but she knew that she couldn't succeed at it. While her words were truthful and all things that she believed, they were... not necessarily what she practiced.

She was burdened by guilt and haunted by failure, and had never quite been the same since she returned from her recent expedition clad in black. She allowed herself to borrow power from a cursed weapon to fight against the vampire menace.

And she had at least partially lost her connection to Jiuweihu, for one reason or another. Satsuki Shimasu was not someone to idolize. But what could she tell Salthiel?

"Do not... be like me," she said finally. "Strike it from your mind. Too often have I... forgotten my companions. Too often have they been hurt because of my stubbornness," she told him.

"Strive to be like Ikkaku, Eagleheart, and Mei Xiang instead. Strive to be like them - but do not strive to be them. Imitation... also leads to failure."

Perhaps Eagleheart would be proud to know she still clung to the advice he passed onto her so many years ago, when she so often wore Ikkaku Ukitake's mask.

"Bring an end to the enemy - do not destroy them. Simply... end them. The more you think of the people you protect, the less you think about... rage, about revenge, about seeing your enemies suffer beneath your boot," she continued on, her unsettling gaze never once leaving the boy, even as he looked away.

"Salthiel, would I be correct to assume you are... someone bothered by disappointment? When you are in the dojo, you mutter about disappointing Jiuweihu, about disappointing me - and now you speak of disappointing those whose footsteps in which you wish to follow."

By now, the sticks of incense burned out. Alas.

"The lonely, ruinous path you take... it does not only make abstract things like spirits and the lifestream weep. You have people you do not wish to disappoint. You have people who want to be proud of you - next time you face an enemy, would you not consider thinking of them? We... wish for you to succeed, Salthiel. I believe in you. While we all must... choose our own path, pursuing naught but death and destruction will leave you well and truly alone. There will be no friends to lose sight of. No... family to come back to - it is... something that cannot come to pass."
(Satsuki Shimasu)
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[22:55] The self-proclaimed Chosen of the Divine. A title he imposed on himself, for his childish fantasy a few years back. However, one might ask, was it simply a childish fantasy? What allowed such fantasy to blossom in the first place?

The fear of disappointment.

Satsuki was true to her aim. He did not wish to disappoint, he refused to carry hope, and so he wished to destroy. Because destruction is far easier, no? Without a burden, without guilt, without conscience whilst hiding behind the veil of order and justice; isn't it easier? Or so what the youth recognized, but refused to acknowledge.

"Yes," he muttered in response and lowered his head, perhaps to hide his features out of vanity.

"If I die in battle, I'd rather be remembered a loyal soldier, rather than one who carried hope only to die and spread hopelessness and despair. Or perhaps, to be remembered only as a tool and a weapon against darkness, who finally died, and met its expiration date.

And, I thought that being alone would be better, so long as I've carved a path for others to walk on. I thought that it would be better not to have friends, so long as others could have a brighter future they can look on ahead," said Salthiel and smiled.

"But now. I can't even fathom the thought of that. Zeriel, Bai, Ban, even Yui. Igleta, whom I've previously despised because of her status. Alyka, Yang and many more. All of them showed compassion and kindness to me and others. Something I'm afraid I could not repay," he asserted with a sigh.

"Lady Satsuki. I think I have to go and clear my thoughts. So, would you be willing to meditate with me again? Or are you tired of my ramblings?"
(Salthiel Anauel)
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[23:01] "...Weapons can always be replaced, Salthiel," she muttered quietly. "They are... meant to be replaced. People..."

She raised her left hand in another silent gesture to her attendant. The poor woman rushed across the length of the shrine to unlock the door, and then gave a bow to both the Chancellor and the student. "...People cannot be replaced. Zeriel. Bai. Ban. Yui. Igleta. Alyka. Yang. Consider what it would be like to lose them. And... consider what it would be like for them to lose you."

She was trying to hard to not give a "power of friendship" speech, and it was quite fortunate that Salthiel wished to depart now because she was skirting dangerously close to that line. The Kitsune rose to a stand, once more walking around the rim of the pool, returning to Salthiel's side of it, and offering a low, respectful bow.

"...But yes, that is all for now. You are welcome to come again. You are my student, I will... always have time for you, and I... will not tire."
(Satsuki Shimasu)
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[23:10] The power of friendship. Alas, truly an amalgamation of positive relationship brought to life. A cliché bore out of reality, found most foul by the vilest of beings.

"Bond and people. Foundation and family. Without them, we'd perhaps be living in a dystopian era void of love and happiness," said Salthiel.

Izhuran culture prohibits one to bow whilst they sit, thus, he stood up and returned his teacher's bow, even lower than usual.

"Please take care of yourself, my lady. Perhaps next time, you could tell me more about yourself. I may be foolish and naïve. But, I'm concerned by your wellbeing. And I don't know if I can. But if I can alleviate it just a tad bit, then I'd do so within my capabilities," said Salthiel in a whispery voice, before finally arching his back up.

"I'll be off."

And with that, the youth walked for the door.
(Salthiel Anauel)
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[23:11] Satsuki Shimasu says, "Farewell, then, Salthiel. Until next time."