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- 0
- 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
- INDOXXI
- Support dengan like & share :)
- 1
- 00:00:10,173 --> 00:00:20,220
- subtitles by rubinmusicbox ®
- 2
- 00:00:36,262 --> 00:00:37,472
- Here we go.
- 3
- 00:00:37,555 --> 00:00:39,974
- One, two...
- 4
- 00:00:40,058 --> 00:00:41,267
- You guys wanna story?
- 5
- 00:00:42,769 --> 00:00:44,520
- Yeah, I got a story.
- A fuckin' doozy.
- 6
- 00:00:44,604 --> 00:00:46,648
- Is this the one
- where you say you own Facebook?
- 7
- 00:00:46,731 --> 00:00:49,400
- Starts like this.
- On the seventh day, God rested.
- 8
- 00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:50,943
- I love God.
- He's my favourite God.
- 9
- 00:00:51,027 --> 00:00:52,945
- Yeah, but he's God, so he knew
- that if after six days of
- 10
- 00:00:53,029 --> 00:00:54,155
- crazy you gotta rest on Sunday.
- 11
- 00:00:54,238 --> 00:00:55,615
- Rest every day.
- 12
- 00:00:55,698 --> 00:00:57,492
- But what about those poor
- bastards going through six days
- 13
- 00:00:57,575 --> 00:01:00,078
- of crazy, not knowing that the
- seventh day is going to be a day
- 14
- 00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:02,497
- of rest, or just another
- day at the shit storm?
- 15
- 00:01:03,623 --> 00:01:04,874
- Those are the poor
- bastards we should toast.
- 16
- 00:01:04,957 --> 00:01:05,917
- To the shit storm!
- 17
- 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,795
- Who knows, maybe a couple
- of angels come along
- 18
- 00:01:08,878 --> 00:01:09,879
- and nudge him in the
- right direction.
- 19
- 00:01:09,962 --> 00:01:11,673
- But I'm getting ahead of myself.
- 20
- 00:01:11,756 --> 00:01:14,509
- This is the story of
- Frank and Nancy Teagarten.
- 21
- 00:01:14,592 --> 00:01:17,095
- Their seven days started on
- the morning they dropped
- 22
- 00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:18,346
- their daughter off at college.
- 23
- 00:01:20,890 --> 00:01:22,058
- Wow.
- 24
- 00:01:23,976 --> 00:01:25,812
- Seems just like yesterday
- I was pushing you on the swings
- 25
- 00:01:25,895 --> 00:01:27,355
- in Gardner Park.
- 26
- 00:01:27,438 --> 00:01:28,648
- Yeah.
- 27
- 00:01:28,731 --> 00:01:32,026
- And now,
- look at our college girl,
- 28
- 00:01:32,110 --> 00:01:34,404
- on her way to
- becoming a veterinarian.
- 29
- 00:01:34,487 --> 00:01:37,156
- Now, baby.
- We're just a phone call away,
- 30
- 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:40,410
- five hour car ride away,
- 50 minute plane ride away.
- 31
- 00:01:40,493 --> 00:01:42,662
- You know we're there
- for you, anything you need.
- 32
- 00:01:42,745 --> 00:01:43,830
- You have our numbers.
- 33
- 00:01:43,913 --> 00:01:46,541
- Yes, I practically
- have them memorized.
- 34
- 00:01:46,624 --> 00:01:48,084
- Good.
- 35
- 00:01:48,167 --> 00:01:49,877
- But, don't call after 10:00 pm
- cause we'll probably be asleep.
- 36
- 00:01:51,003 --> 00:01:52,380
- That was a joke.
- You know that was a joke, right?
- 37
- 00:01:52,463 --> 00:01:54,799
- I love
- your jokes, daddy.
- 38
- 00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:56,467
- Do you like your bed?
- 39
- 00:01:56,551 --> 00:01:57,844
- Yeah.
- 40
- 00:01:57,927 --> 00:01:59,595
- We should have gotten
- her a better mattress.
- 41
- 00:01:59,679 --> 00:02:01,180
- How come we didn't
- think of that?
- 42
- 00:02:01,264 --> 00:02:02,974
- Know what this room
- needs, is a Medeco lock.
- 43
- 00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:04,600
- - Medeco makes a very sturdy lock.
- - Yeah.
- 44
- 00:02:04,684 --> 00:02:06,811
- And what's with this co-ed dorm?
- Why are we doing that?
- 45
- 00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:08,855
- She's in a co-ed dorm,
- whose idea was that?
- 46
- 00:02:08,938 --> 00:02:09,689
- That's wrong.
- 47
- 00:02:09,772 --> 00:02:12,358
- I love you guys so much.
- 48
- 00:02:13,359 --> 00:02:14,819
- Thank you.
- 49
- 00:02:16,863 --> 00:02:18,489
- Thank you for everything.
- 50
- 00:03:00,698 --> 00:03:03,159
- ♪ Let go, life
- does get tough ♪
- 51
- 00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:05,286
- ♪ No need to stress, ♪
- 52
- 00:03:05,369 --> 00:03:07,413
- ♪ Hold you back too much, ♪
- 53
- 00:03:07,497 --> 00:03:10,875
- ♪ Let's go
- I heard they found a solution ♪
- 54
- 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:14,337
- ♪ Where will you be
- for the revolution? ♪
- 55
- 00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:16,756
- ♪ Woah woah, woah, woah ♪
- 56
- 00:03:17,924 --> 00:03:20,176
- ♪ Woah woah woah woah ♪
- 57
- 00:03:21,344 --> 00:03:23,262
- ♪ Woah woah woah woah ♪
- 58
- 00:03:26,098 --> 00:03:27,517
- ♪ I say to kids ♪
- 59
- 00:03:28,518 --> 00:03:31,354
- ♪ Wake up, things
- might get rough ♪
- 60
- 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,857
- ♪ No need to stress,
- keeps you down too much ♪
- 61
- 00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:38,736
- ♪ Wake up, I heard they
- found a solution ♪
- 62
- 00:03:38,820 --> 00:03:41,906
- ♪ Where will you be
- for the revolution? ♪
- 63
- 00:03:46,077 --> 00:03:49,038
- ♪ Where will you be
- for the revolution? ♪
- 64
- 00:03:52,291 --> 00:03:53,793
- It's gonna be okay.
- 65
- 00:03:53,876 --> 00:03:54,627
- Which part?
- 66
- 00:03:54,710 --> 00:03:56,003
- All of it. I promise.
- 67
- 00:04:01,843 --> 00:04:03,094
- Can I help you?
- 68
- 00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:05,012
- Sorry, guys.
- Gotta hook it up.
- 69
- 00:04:05,096 --> 00:04:05,721
- Shit!
- 70
- 00:04:05,805 --> 00:04:06,681
- What, now?
- 71
- 00:04:06,764 --> 00:04:09,475
- Hey, man. I'm just
- doing my job, all right?
- 72
- 00:04:09,559 --> 00:04:12,603
- We just dropped our daughter
- off at college, and we've been
- 73
- 00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:13,896
- really, really busy.
- 74
- 00:04:13,980 --> 00:04:15,565
- I'll send a payment
- in a few days.
- 75
- 00:04:15,648 --> 00:04:17,942
- Look, it's not me,
- it's Volvo, okay?
- 76
- 00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:20,361
- They don't fuck around when
- it comes to a lease. Okay?
- 77
- 00:04:20,444 --> 00:04:22,488
- I just need a little more time.
- 78
- 00:04:22,572 --> 00:04:24,198
- There is a back story, here.
- 79
- 00:04:24,282 --> 00:04:26,659
- Always is, brother.
- Always is.
- 80
- 00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,452
- Would you like to hear it?
- 81
- 00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:35,668
- All right, shoot.
- 82
- 00:04:35,751 --> 00:04:37,587
- I started a medical company.
- 83
- 00:04:37,670 --> 00:04:40,965
- Put everything we had into it,
- making a medical innovation
- 84
- 00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,884
- that's been adding
- years to people's lives.
- 85
- 00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:46,262
- We rolled the dice hard,
- but we believed in it.
- 86
- 00:04:46,345 --> 00:04:47,555
- Then there was a problem.
- 87
- 00:04:47,638 --> 00:04:50,016
- Small, but enough for
- some news stories.
- 88
- 00:04:50,099 --> 00:04:52,268
- They started calling us
- "controversial," which is the
- 89
- 00:04:52,351 --> 00:04:53,394
- toughest word in our business,
- 90
- 00:04:53,477 --> 00:04:56,314
- and it's been bad
- dominoes ever since.
- 91
- 00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:58,733
- Now, our daughter doesn't
- know at all about this.
- 92
- 00:04:58,816 --> 00:05:01,193
- We've been holding it together
- until she went off to college,
- 93
- 00:05:01,277 --> 00:05:03,112
- and now we're gonna
- hold it together
- 94
- 00:05:03,195 --> 00:05:05,114
- until we get back
- on our feet.
- 95
- 00:05:06,157 --> 00:05:07,074
- What do you make?
- 96
- 00:05:07,158 --> 00:05:08,451
- What, salary?
- 97
- 00:05:08,534 --> 00:05:09,869
- Product.
- 98
- 00:05:09,952 --> 00:05:12,747
- Artificial heart valves designed
- for transfemoral placement,
- 99
- 00:05:12,830 --> 00:05:13,581
- which means...
- 100
- 00:05:13,664 --> 00:05:15,833
- Dual leg artery. I know.
- 101
- 00:05:15,917 --> 00:05:17,627
- You know what I used to
- do before this repo shit?
- 102
- 00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:19,420
- Paramedic.
- 103
- 00:05:19,503 --> 00:05:20,630
- Oh!
- 104
- 00:05:20,713 --> 00:05:22,590
- Yeah. People used to
- be glad to see me show up.
- 105
- 00:05:22,673 --> 00:05:24,884
- Yesterday, I had to
- take three child seats
- 106
- 00:05:24,967 --> 00:05:26,510
- out of the back of a Lexus,
- 107
- 00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:28,679
- lay em out on their lawn,
- like I was setting up
- 108
- 00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:31,641
- for some goddamn baby
- Lollapalooza concert,
- 109
- 00:05:31,724 --> 00:05:33,851
- The Wiggles or some shit.
- 110
- 00:05:33,935 --> 00:05:35,061
- - Remember them?
- - No.
- 111
- 00:05:35,144 --> 00:05:36,979
- Fuckin' Yum Yum Fruit Salad.
- 112
- 00:05:37,063 --> 00:05:39,649
- I got kids.
- It was sad.
- 113
- 00:05:41,984 --> 00:05:43,778
- Shit. Okay, look.
- 114
- 00:05:43,861 --> 00:05:45,446
- I'll tell em you weren't here.
- 115
- 00:05:45,529 --> 00:05:47,865
- But the most I can get
- you is days, not weeks.
- 116
- 00:05:47,949 --> 00:05:49,283
- All right?
- 117
- 00:05:49,367 --> 00:05:52,495
- So, if I were you, I'd find a
- way to put some loot in my suit.
- 118
- 00:05:52,578 --> 00:05:55,081
- Sell some crack,
- or I'll be back!
- 119
- 00:06:01,295 --> 00:06:02,421
- Thank you.
- 120
- 00:06:02,505 --> 00:06:03,798
- Thank you.
- 121
- 00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:05,549
- Finally a break.
- 122
- 00:06:14,058 --> 00:06:17,061
- What about the,
- uh, lamp in the den?
- 123
- 00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:18,896
- It's broken.
- 124
- 00:06:18,980 --> 00:06:22,191
- So, we sell it as-is,
- or we fix it?
- 125
- 00:06:22,274 --> 00:06:24,902
- We don't fix things,
- Frank, we only ruin them.
- 126
- 00:06:24,986 --> 00:06:27,655
- Hi guys.
- Having a yard sale?
- 127
- 00:06:27,738 --> 00:06:31,200
- Uh, no, Bert. Our living
- room puked all over our yard.
- 128
- 00:06:31,283 --> 00:06:32,159
- What?
- 129
- 00:06:32,243 --> 00:06:33,411
- Bye.
- 130
- 00:06:34,370 --> 00:06:35,496
- Oh, look, Frank.
- 131
- 00:06:35,579 --> 00:06:39,792
- A two thousand dollar Breville
- Oracle espresso machine.
- 132
- 00:06:39,875 --> 00:06:42,169
- And we just had to have it.
- 133
- 00:06:42,253 --> 00:06:46,757
- But we never even took
- it out of the damn box.
- 134
- 00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:48,843
- Just be happy that the
- thing is still in the box,
- 135
- 00:06:48,926 --> 00:06:51,929
- it's worth two thousand dollars,
- one eighth of that is a,
- 136
- 00:06:52,013 --> 00:06:53,014
- it's a car payment.
- 137
- 00:06:53,097 --> 00:06:54,682
- Why did we get all this stuff?
- 138
- 00:06:54,765 --> 00:06:59,020
- Stuff, stuff, stuff everywhere,
- and I can't even afford to get
- 139
- 00:06:59,103 --> 00:07:02,648
- my roots done or
- get a bikini wax.
- 140
- 00:07:02,732 --> 00:07:04,775
- Hey, guys.
- You're having a yard sale?
- 141
- 00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,444
- Hi, Jason.
- 142
- 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:09,113
- No, Jason, our house
- got hit by a tidal wave.
- 143
- 00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,323
- Just ours.
- It's a freak of nature.
- 144
- 00:07:11,407 --> 00:07:13,451
- Heh, well I'm glad it was yours.
- 145
- 00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:15,911
- Cause, salt water, it's like
- kryptonite for the wheelchair.
- 146
- 00:07:15,995 --> 00:07:17,872
- Jason, are you making
- a handicap joke?
- 147
- 00:07:17,955 --> 00:07:19,957
- I'm sorry, I thought...
- 148
- 00:07:20,041 --> 00:07:21,167
- Cause...
- 149
- 00:07:21,250 --> 00:07:23,794
- I'm the one in the...
- Uh, Rachel called me.
- 150
- 00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,087
- It sounds like she
- made it off fine.
- 151
- 00:07:25,171 --> 00:07:27,131
- So, the two of you were trying
- to make the long distance
- 152
- 00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:29,050
- thing work? The odds
- are against it, Jason,
- 153
- 00:07:29,133 --> 00:07:31,719
- and she's ambitious
- and you live at home.
- 154
- 00:07:31,802 --> 00:07:32,928
- Frank...
- 155
- 00:07:33,012 --> 00:07:33,846
- Yes?
- 156
- 00:07:33,929 --> 00:07:36,265
- Don't pay any attention
- to him, Jason.
- 157
- 00:07:36,348 --> 00:07:38,142
- He's been drinking.
- 158
- 00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:39,894
- Well, I'd better be
- off to work, so...
- 159
- 00:07:39,977 --> 00:07:42,521
- Hey Jason, do you wear
- your Staples uniform under your
- 160
- 00:07:42,605 --> 00:07:44,648
- clothes like Superman, or do
- you go home and change at your
- 161
- 00:07:44,732 --> 00:07:46,901
- mom's, where you
- live, with your mom?
- 162
- 00:07:55,076 --> 00:07:56,786
- Can't understand
- the whispered Spanish.
- 163
- 00:07:56,869 --> 00:07:59,330
- Mr. Teagarten, I'd really
- like to get along with you,
- 164
- 00:07:59,413 --> 00:08:01,332
- even if Rachel and I
- are eventually just friends,
- 165
- 00:08:01,415 --> 00:08:04,585
- nothing more, 'cause I think
- you guys are amazing people.
- 166
- 00:08:04,668 --> 00:08:05,920
- Thank you, Jason.
- 167
- 00:08:06,003 --> 00:08:07,588
- Have a nice day.
- 168
- 00:08:08,464 --> 00:08:09,840
- Enjoy the ride.
- 169
- 00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:10,966
- Ow.
- 170
- 00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:13,511
- Ah, cause of the wheelchair.
- That's...
- 171
- 00:08:14,553 --> 00:08:16,013
- have a nice one.
- 172
- 00:08:19,892 --> 00:08:22,269
- Nigel, how's it going
- over there in London, huh?
- 173
- 00:08:22,353 --> 00:08:24,271
- Are they still
- driving backwards?
- 174
- 00:08:24,355 --> 00:08:25,606
- What are you talking about?
- 175
- 00:08:25,689 --> 00:08:28,526
- You know what I mean.
- 176
- 00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:33,114
- You know, sideways,
- the cars, the street?
- 177
- 00:08:33,197 --> 00:08:34,365
- Have you been drinking?
- 178
- 00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:35,950
- Oh, that's hilarious.
- 179
- 00:08:36,033 --> 00:08:37,034
- Seriously.
- 180
- 00:08:38,494 --> 00:08:40,371
- Listen to me, I am gonna
- be travelling for a while,
- 181
- 00:08:40,454 --> 00:08:43,040
- all right? I'm gonna be gone to
- Nepal, I'll be gone for about
- 182
- 00:08:43,124 --> 00:08:44,583
- four months,
- I'll be off the grid.
- 183
- 00:08:44,667 --> 00:08:46,043
- Oh, that's weird.
- Hey, listen, Nigel,
- 184
- 00:08:46,127 --> 00:08:47,753
- while I have you on
- the phone, I think I need
- 185
- 00:08:47,837 --> 00:08:50,756
- to ask you for more
- money to watch the house.
- 186
- 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:52,383
- Cause I'm over there
- like three days a week.
- 187
- 00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:53,926
- What are you talking about?
- 188
- 00:08:54,009 --> 00:08:55,886
- It's not that hard
- to watch my house.
- 189
- 00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:57,096
- I live right next door to you.
- 190
- 00:08:57,179 --> 00:08:59,723
- I can get the kid down the
- street to do it for free,
- 191
- 00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:02,643
- just so he can go in
- and watch cable. Jesus.
- 192
- 00:09:02,726 --> 00:09:04,395
- What did he say
- about more money?
- 193
- 00:09:04,728 --> 00:09:06,730
- I don't think he's into it.
- 194
- 00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,483
- I'm going to Nigel's
- for a minute.
- 195
- 00:09:38,470 --> 00:09:39,513
- No.
- 196
- 00:09:44,226 --> 00:09:45,477
- Hello, this is Frank.
- 197
- 00:09:46,103 --> 00:09:47,813
- Oh, hi. Uh...
- 198
- 00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:49,982
- Yes, I am going to pay you soon.
- 199
- 00:09:51,150 --> 00:09:52,985
- No, I don't know when,
- but your credit card is very
- 200
- 00:09:53,068 --> 00:09:54,403
- important to me, so I...
- 201
- 00:09:55,321 --> 00:09:56,906
- Yes, I know that, but...
- 202
- 00:09:58,157 --> 00:09:59,783
- Well, I do want to work with
- you, so how about this?
- 203
- 00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,785
- I'll send you the credit card,
- and you just shove it up
- 204
- 00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:03,954
- your fucking ass.
- Does that work?
- 205
- 00:10:13,255 --> 00:10:14,048
- Yes.
- 206
- 00:10:14,757 --> 00:10:16,383
- Yes. Yes.
- 207
- 00:10:20,095 --> 00:10:21,347
- Absolutely not.
- 208
- 00:10:21,430 --> 00:10:22,890
- It's a Chateau Latour.
- 209
- 00:10:22,973 --> 00:10:24,642
- It's worth 800 dollars.
- 210
- 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,518
- Have you lost your mind?
- 211
- 00:10:26,602 --> 00:10:27,394
- Wait a minute.
- 212
- 00:10:27,478 --> 00:10:29,939
- Since when did
- you start smoking?
- 213
- 00:10:30,022 --> 00:10:31,273
- Just now.
- 214
- 00:10:31,357 --> 00:10:32,816
- Ha. Great timing.
- 215
- 00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,610
- Just when we can't afford it.
- 216
- 00:10:34,693 --> 00:10:36,862
- Nigel has hundreds
- of bottles of wine.
- 217
- 00:10:36,946 --> 00:10:37,988
- He doesn't need more wine.
- 218
- 00:10:38,072 --> 00:10:39,782
- He needs a punch in the
- face, but not more wine.
- 219
- 00:10:39,865 --> 00:10:41,408
- Would you please
- have some decency?
- 220
- 00:10:41,492 --> 00:10:44,245
- You're supposed to be
- looking after his property,
- 221
- 00:10:44,328 --> 00:10:46,413
- not parting it out
- like an old Chevy.
- 222
- 00:10:46,497 --> 00:10:46,997
- What?
- 223
- 00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:48,249
- What's next?
- 224
- 00:10:48,332 --> 00:10:51,418
- You gonna put an ad on
- Craigslist and rent it out?
- 225
- 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,255
- Rent out his house?
- 226
- 00:10:54,338 --> 00:10:56,423
- Rent out Nigel's house?
- 227
- 00:10:56,507 --> 00:10:57,925
- On Craigslist?
- 228
- 00:10:58,509 --> 00:10:59,843
- That's insane.
- 229
- 00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,512
- Stop changing the subject.
- 230
- 00:11:01,595 --> 00:11:04,515
- Put that bottle of wine back.
- 231
- 00:11:04,598 --> 00:11:05,808
- Right now.
- 232
- 00:11:05,891 --> 00:11:07,893
- Shame on you, Frank.
- 233
- 00:11:12,189 --> 00:11:15,025
- ♪ "Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy,
- hurdy gurdy gurdy" he sang ♪
- 234
- 00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:18,404
- ♪ Here comes the Roly Poly Man ♪
- 235
- 00:11:18,487 --> 00:11:21,073
- ♪ He's singing songs of love ♪
- 236
- 00:11:21,156 --> 00:11:24,410
- ♪ "Roly poly, roly poly,
- roly poly poly" he sang ♪
- 237
- 00:11:24,493 --> 00:11:26,287
- I love this album.
- 238
- 00:11:26,370 --> 00:11:28,539
- Are they still called albums?
- 239
- 00:11:28,622 --> 00:11:30,624
- Albummmmmms....
- 240
- 00:11:32,251 --> 00:11:34,837
- See dee dee
- dee dee dee...
- 241
- 00:11:35,671 --> 00:11:37,131
- See dee dee dee dee...
- 242
- 00:11:39,883 --> 00:11:41,635
- You know the Filipinos?
- 243
- 00:11:41,719 --> 00:11:43,095
- Bob and Teresa?
- 244
- 00:11:43,178 --> 00:11:44,805
- From the Philippines.
- 245
- 00:11:44,888 --> 00:11:48,225
- They used to strap coca tree
- bark to their bodies before
- 246
- 00:11:48,309 --> 00:11:49,435
- they went to battle.
- 247
- 00:11:49,518 --> 00:11:53,605
- The cocaine would leech
- into their bloodstream,
- 248
- 00:11:53,689 --> 00:11:57,985
- and get them amped up to help
- them overcome the fear of war.
- 249
- 00:11:58,068 --> 00:12:00,362
- Frank, we're at war.
- 250
- 00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:03,741
- I don't think we can get our
- hands on that kind of bark.
- 251
- 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,659
- We ran out of vodka.
- 252
- 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:09,663
- I wonder what Rachel will
- listen to in college.
- 253
- 00:12:09,747 --> 00:12:14,209
- What music will transport
- her back to her youth,
- 254
- 00:12:14,293 --> 00:12:16,545
- back to a time when her whole
- life was in front of her.
- 255
- 00:12:16,628 --> 00:12:19,131
- I don't know.
- 256
- 00:12:20,132 --> 00:12:22,092
- I only know I'm sad
- about that vodka.
- 257
- 00:12:25,095 --> 00:12:26,638
- Fuck it.
- 258
- 00:12:27,765 --> 00:12:29,266
- La Tour baby!
- 259
- 00:12:31,268 --> 00:12:34,063
- Whatever happens probably will.
- 260
- 00:12:35,564 --> 00:12:37,232
- Let's finish it inside.
- 261
- 00:12:37,316 --> 00:12:37,983
- Yeah.
- 262
- 00:12:38,484 --> 00:12:39,193
- Yeah.
- 263
- 00:12:39,818 --> 00:12:42,196
- Starts getting
- better tomorrow...
- 264
- 00:12:43,405 --> 00:12:48,285
- When I'm stuck with a
- day that's grey, and lonely,
- 265
- 00:12:48,369 --> 00:12:51,747
- I just stick out my
- chin and grin...
- 266
- 00:12:51,830 --> 00:12:53,040
- Oh.
- 267
- 00:12:53,123 --> 00:12:54,375
- And saaaaay...
- 268
- 00:12:54,458 --> 00:12:59,004
- The sun will come out tomorrow
- 269
- 00:13:06,345 --> 00:13:12,351
- You're only a daaaay
- aaaawaaaaaay!
- 270
- 00:13:15,938 --> 00:13:18,107
- Haha, you
- fell on your ass, baby.
- 271
- 00:13:47,761 --> 00:13:49,179
- Excuse me.
- 272
- 00:13:50,013 --> 00:13:51,515
- Hi.
- 273
- 00:13:52,641 --> 00:13:54,852
- What can you tell
- me about this house?
- 274
- 00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:56,353
- I'm sorry?
- 275
- 00:13:56,437 --> 00:13:59,857
- There was a rental ad for
- this house on Craigslist,
- 276
- 00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:02,276
- but no one's
- answering the doorbell.
- 277
- 00:14:02,359 --> 00:14:04,445
- An ad on Craigslist?
- 278
- 00:14:04,528 --> 00:14:05,404
- Yeah.
- 279
- 00:14:06,822 --> 00:14:08,282
- For Nigel's house?
- 280
- 00:14:08,365 --> 00:14:11,076
- No, somebody named Frank?
- 281
- 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:14,371
- The ad's gone, it was
- flagged for profanity.
- 282
- 00:14:14,455 --> 00:14:16,498
- Okay, wait.
- Back the fuck up.
- 283
- 00:14:16,582 --> 00:14:18,125
- Let's start over.
- What?
- 284
- 00:14:18,208 --> 00:14:21,545
- Well, there was an ad, "For
- rent, big beautiful fucking
- 285
- 00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:25,632
- house furnished up the ass."
- Obviously, I was intrigued.
- 286
- 00:14:29,011 --> 00:14:30,471
- Are you okay?
- 287
- 00:14:32,181 --> 00:14:34,349
- Not even in the ballpark.
- 288
- 00:14:45,903 --> 00:14:47,946
- Four dollars?
- 289
- 00:14:48,030 --> 00:14:50,240
- Four dollars for a zucchini.
- 290
- 00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:54,203
- And these people won't even
- grease the wheels of their
- 291
- 00:14:54,286 --> 00:14:55,871
- shopping cart.
- 292
- 00:14:57,331 --> 00:14:58,373
- Fuckers.
- 293
- 00:15:07,424 --> 00:15:08,675
- Nancy?
- 294
- 00:15:08,759 --> 00:15:10,260
- Are you okay?
- 295
- 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:11,929
- Oh, you.
- 296
- 00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,847
- Heidi, hi.
- 297
- 00:15:13,931 --> 00:15:19,144
- I'm fine, it's just that I saw a
- spider, and I tried to get it.
- 298
- 00:15:19,228 --> 00:15:21,104
- My foot got stuck.
- 299
- 00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:24,399
- Um, are those box
- wines in your cart?
- 300
- 00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:30,280
- No, I'm juicing.
- 301
- 00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:31,949
- How are Chip and the kids?
- 302
- 00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:35,035
- Oh, Chip pulled some strings
- and got Carter into Yale.
- 303
- 00:15:35,118 --> 00:15:37,538
- He won't light up the world but
- he won't blow it up, either.
- 304
- 00:15:37,621 --> 00:15:38,914
- Ah.
- 305
- 00:15:38,997 --> 00:15:41,750
- Oh, totally off-subject, did
- you hear about Lisa Chang?
- 306
- 00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:42,876
- No, Lisa?
- 307
- 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:45,462
- She and Andrew split up,
- younger woman, yadda yadda,
- 308
- 00:15:45,546 --> 00:15:46,505
- you know the drill.
- 309
- 00:15:46,588 --> 00:15:50,676
- But, Lisa is working
- at Macy's now.
- 310
- 00:15:51,426 --> 00:15:52,469
- At the perfume counter.
- 311
- 00:15:52,553 --> 00:15:53,345
- Oh my god.
- 312
- 00:15:53,428 --> 00:15:55,097
- Oh my god.
- 313
- 00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:58,517
- She's waving those little
- smelly cards in people's faces.
- 314
- 00:16:00,352 --> 00:16:02,312
- She gained ten pounds.
- 315
- 00:16:02,396 --> 00:16:04,231
- And she's about to gain more.
- 316
- 00:16:04,314 --> 00:16:06,567
- Because you have to
- be rich to be skinny.
- 317
- 00:16:06,650 --> 00:16:10,612
- All the cheap foods are
- the ones that pork you up.
- 318
- 00:16:10,696 --> 00:16:13,365
- The sugars, the carbs,
- the corn syrup.
- 319
- 00:16:13,448 --> 00:16:17,703
- I do not understand why the more
- preservatives and chemicals
- 320
- 00:16:17,786 --> 00:16:20,706
- they put in the food,
- the cheaper it is.
- 321
- 00:16:20,789 --> 00:16:24,960
- And the food that just comes out
- of the earth, it's so expensive.
- 322
- 00:16:25,043 --> 00:16:26,044
- Bastards!
- 323
- 00:16:26,128 --> 00:16:30,048
- It's those hippies,
- They see they're so going
- 324
- 00:16:30,132 --> 00:16:34,344
- "hey Dude, look
- at this zucchini, man.
- 325
- 00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:38,181
- It's so beautiful, a
- gift from mother earth.
- 326
- 00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:40,183
- How much should
- we charge for it?"
- 327
- 00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:44,813
- "Uh, I dunno, $4,20?
- Heheheh."
- 328
- 00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:57,367
- Okay, bye. Bye.
- Nice to see you.
- 329
- 00:16:57,993 --> 00:16:59,453
- Bye. Bye.
- 330
- 00:16:59,536 --> 00:17:00,454
- Bye.
- 331
- 00:17:03,165 --> 00:17:04,958
- Oh my god, oh my god.
- 332
- 00:17:06,418 --> 00:17:07,669
- Frank.
- 333
- 00:17:07,753 --> 00:17:10,172
- I think I'm having an
- anxiety attack, and...
- 334
- 00:17:13,508 --> 00:17:14,635
- Wait, what?
- 335
- 00:17:31,735 --> 00:17:33,028
- Is this a joke?
- 336
- 00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:36,698
- But when?
- 337
- 00:17:36,782 --> 00:17:37,866
- The cheque?
- 338
- 00:17:37,949 --> 00:17:39,159
- No, the ad.
- 339
- 00:17:39,242 --> 00:17:41,870
- It must have been last night
- when we were drinking.
- 340
- 00:17:41,953 --> 00:17:43,747
- I thought you did it.
- It was all your idea.
- 341
- 00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:45,290
- My idea?
- 342
- 00:17:46,583 --> 00:17:50,379
- Frank, I said it to make a
- point about how we don't do
- 343
- 00:17:50,462 --> 00:17:51,755
- anything stupid like that.
- 344
- 00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:53,048
- Don't you remember?
- 345
- 00:17:53,131 --> 00:17:55,967
- I don't remember us polishing
- off that Chateau Latour,
- 346
- 00:17:56,051 --> 00:17:57,135
- but we did that too, right?
- 347
- 00:17:57,219 --> 00:17:58,512
- I remember that.
- 348
- 00:17:58,595 --> 00:18:01,556
- I remember pulling the cork, it
- made that pop sound like the
- 349
- 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:05,018
- crunch sound Eve probably
- made when she bit the apple.
- 350
- 00:18:05,977 --> 00:18:07,187
- Baby.
- 351
- 00:18:07,270 --> 00:18:09,481
- It's six months in advance,
- his name is Carl, and for
- 352
- 00:18:09,564 --> 00:18:12,067
- what it's worth, I think
- he was sent from God.
- 353
- 00:18:14,152 --> 00:18:17,030
- Frank, do you understand
- what this means?
- 354
- 00:18:18,156 --> 00:18:21,201
- It means an entire year
- of Rachel's tuition.
- 355
- 00:18:21,743 --> 00:18:23,870
- Thank you Jesus!
- 356
- 00:18:26,581 --> 00:18:29,584
- Does this mean we're
- gonna celebrate?
- 357
- 00:18:31,002 --> 00:18:32,212
- Heck yes.
- 358
- 00:18:32,295 --> 00:18:33,672
- But...
- 359
- 00:18:33,755 --> 00:18:35,549
- I gotta do something first.
- 360
- 00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:37,509
- I'll be right back.
- 361
- 00:18:55,819 --> 00:18:57,404
- Hi, Frank.
- 362
- 00:18:57,487 --> 00:19:00,574
- Hey. Is that
- Dave Brubeck on the stereo?
- 363
- 00:19:00,657 --> 00:19:01,658
- No.
- 364
- 00:19:01,742 --> 00:19:03,076
- Too bad, I love Brubeck.
- 365
- 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,954
- Especially back when Stan
- Getz was on tenor sax.
- 366
- 00:19:06,037 --> 00:19:08,874
- Getz did the soundtrack for
- Micky One, which is my favourite
- 367
- 00:19:08,957 --> 00:19:12,461
- Warren Beatty film.
- I wanna say '65, '66.
- 368
- 00:19:12,544 --> 00:19:14,755
- Warren Beatty was
- a handsome boy.
- 369
- 00:19:14,838 --> 00:19:16,840
- Got all the lady women.
- Right?
- 370
- 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:18,467
- But you know, Micky
- One's not for everyone.
- 371
- 00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:19,634
- You have to be patient.
- 372
- 00:19:19,718 --> 00:19:22,012
- Unlike Star Wars, that
- really trucks along.
- 373
- 00:19:22,095 --> 00:19:23,638
- Right?
- Same with Dances with Wolves.
- 374
- 00:19:23,722 --> 00:19:25,390
- Kevin Costner, he
- was definitely...
- 375
- 00:19:26,975 --> 00:19:30,020
- Carl, that was bizarre, and
- I didn't follow any of it.
- 376
- 00:19:30,103 --> 00:19:31,313
- Is everything okay?
- 377
- 00:19:31,396 --> 00:19:32,773
- Oh, it's...
- 378
- 00:19:32,856 --> 00:19:34,316
- I love the house.
- 379
- 00:19:34,399 --> 00:19:36,526
- Ha, I'm being rude.
- This is my good buddy Joe.
- 380
- 00:19:38,028 --> 00:19:41,448
- Well, less of a buddy
- and more of a parole officer.
- 381
- 00:19:42,657 --> 00:19:43,950
- I beg your pardon?
- 382
- 00:19:44,034 --> 00:19:48,246
- Frank, uh, as a new neighbour,
- I'm "legally required"
- 383
- 00:19:48,330 --> 00:19:51,666
- to tell you that I'm a
- registered sex offender.
- 384
- 00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:52,584
- Come again?
- 385
- 00:19:52,667 --> 00:19:55,003
- Wow, really?
- 386
- 00:19:55,086 --> 00:19:56,129
- Really what?
- 387
- 00:19:56,213 --> 00:19:58,048
- I was, I was kidding.
- You said "come again"
- 388
- 00:19:58,131 --> 00:20:00,550
- and I'm a sex offender.
- It was a joke.
- 389
- 00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:02,719
- Carl's a class 3 offender.
- 390
- 00:20:02,803 --> 00:20:06,723
- He has to notify any resident
- within a designated area.
- 391
- 00:20:06,807 --> 00:20:08,558
- So we'll be going
- house to house.
- 392
- 00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:10,352
- It's kind of like trick or
- treating, except we don't get
- 393
- 00:20:10,435 --> 00:20:13,939
- candy, we tell people
- I'm a pedophile.
- 394
- 00:20:14,022 --> 00:20:16,274
- I'm sorry, I'm having
- trouble with my ears.
- 395
- 00:20:16,358 --> 00:20:20,445
- There's a really loud sound to
- them, like a, like a roaring
- 396
- 00:20:20,529 --> 00:20:22,864
- crashing ocean, so...
- 397
- 00:20:22,948 --> 00:20:24,574
- What the fuck did you just say?
- 398
- 00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:28,036
- Baby, tell little Frank that
- I'm here, that I'm ready...
- 399
- 00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:29,246
- Baby, get away from the door.
- 400
- 00:20:32,499 --> 00:20:33,750
- Wow. Frank.
- 401
- 00:20:33,834 --> 00:20:35,752
- You really did well.
- 402
- 00:20:37,295 --> 00:20:39,589
- I did not see that coming.
- 403
- 00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:42,092
- Good.
- I'm glad you didn't plan this.
- 404
- 00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:45,595
- Gotta burn down the
- house to cook the pig.
- 405
- 00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:46,638
- What?
- 406
- 00:20:46,721 --> 00:20:48,682
- I'm saying "I did
- not see that coming."
- 407
- 00:20:48,765 --> 00:20:51,601
- Oh, look. They're
- going to the Templemans.
- 408
- 00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:53,186
- Nice people, the Templemans.
- 409
- 00:20:53,270 --> 00:20:54,980
- Their lawn is always so green.
- 410
- 00:20:55,063 --> 00:20:57,274
- I've always wondered
- what they use.
- 411
- 00:20:57,357 --> 00:21:00,569
- Maybe you can call Carl.
- You know, the fucking
- 412
- 00:21:00,652 --> 00:21:03,321
- fucking sex offender,
- and ask him to ask them.
- 413
- 00:21:04,656 --> 00:21:08,285
- Probably
- magnesium sulphate.
- 414
- 00:21:09,202 --> 00:21:11,454
- You realize we're
- going to jail, right?
- 415
- 00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:13,874
- No. Nigel will
- never press charges,
- 416
- 00:21:13,957 --> 00:21:15,792
- I've pulled his fat out
- of the fire too many times.
- 417
- 00:21:15,876 --> 00:21:18,128
- Like last month, his smoke
- detector was beeping,
- 418
- 00:21:18,211 --> 00:21:20,213
- I changed the 9-volt,
- didn't even charge him.
- 419
- 00:21:20,297 --> 00:21:23,425
- Snap out of it, motherfucker.
- We're going to jail.
- 420
- 00:21:24,968 --> 00:21:26,845
- Don't forget your prescriptions
- and anything else you might
- 421
- 00:21:26,928 --> 00:21:28,221
- need for the next few weeks.
- 422
- 00:21:28,305 --> 00:21:29,806
- Frank, help me.
- 423
- 00:21:29,890 --> 00:21:32,183
- Hold this bag.
- Hold this bag.
- 424
- 00:21:34,644 --> 00:21:36,980
- Do you really need all these
- panties and such, hun?
- 425
- 00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:38,857
- No. I'm gonna hide
- them in the attic.
- 426
- 00:21:38,940 --> 00:21:42,152
- I don't want him going
- all over my lingerie.
- 427
- 00:21:42,235 --> 00:21:43,737
- The word is "cumming,"
- Honey. Cumming.
- 428
- 00:21:43,820 --> 00:21:44,779
- I don't give a damn.
- 429
- 00:21:44,863 --> 00:21:48,199
- I do not want his DNA
- on my private things.
- 430
- 00:21:48,283 --> 00:21:50,660
- Baby, we really don't
- know what he did.
- 431
- 00:21:50,744 --> 00:21:53,288
- Then you should hide
- your panties, too.
- 432
- 00:22:02,505 --> 00:22:03,340
- Hi.
- 433
- 00:22:05,133 --> 00:22:09,220
- Look, I know I should have
- said something, but it's not
- 434
- 00:22:09,304 --> 00:22:12,349
- like I told you I wasn't
- a registered offender.
- 435
- 00:22:12,432 --> 00:22:13,975
- Oh my god, he just said that.
- 436
- 00:22:14,059 --> 00:22:15,936
- I saw his lips move
- and everything.
- 437
- 00:22:16,019 --> 00:22:19,397
- Carl. Part of me would like to
- punch you in the face right now,
- 438
- 00:22:19,481 --> 00:22:21,483
- but another part of me would
- like to kick you in the balls.
- 439
- 00:22:21,566 --> 00:22:22,817
- Which do you prefer?
- 440
- 00:22:22,901 --> 00:22:26,112
- Uh, thanks.
- I normally don't get a choice.
- 441
- 00:22:26,196 --> 00:22:29,199
- But I, I don't know
- anything about your house.
- 442
- 00:22:29,282 --> 00:22:32,077
- How do I know your house
- is as nice as this house?
- 443
- 00:22:32,702 --> 00:22:34,537
- Our house is gorgeous.
- 444
- 00:22:34,621 --> 00:22:36,873
- Carl, you don't have a choice.
- 445
- 00:22:36,957 --> 00:22:40,627
- Our house could be a shack
- cantilevered over hell's septic
- 446
- 00:22:40,710 --> 00:22:42,128
- tank, and it wouldn't matter.
- 447
- 00:22:42,212 --> 00:22:44,047
- You either move into our house,
- or you're back on the street
- 448
- 00:22:44,130 --> 00:22:45,924
- because you cannot stay here.
- 449
- 00:22:46,967 --> 00:22:50,720
- I guess I could
- just get my 25 grand back
- 450
- 00:22:50,804 --> 00:22:52,305
- and find another place.
- 451
- 00:22:59,020 --> 00:23:00,605
- You know what?
- 452
- 00:23:00,689 --> 00:23:02,065
- Fine with me.
- 453
- 00:23:02,148 --> 00:23:04,943
- Because I'm not even sure
- that I want you in my house,
- 454
- 00:23:05,026 --> 00:23:08,613
- sleeping in our bed,
- inside our sheets,
- 455
- 00:23:08,697 --> 00:23:11,282
- where I sleep
- naked all the time.
- 456
- 00:23:11,366 --> 00:23:12,283
- Ugh.
- 457
- 00:23:12,367 --> 00:23:14,411
- And what if he finds
- our home videos?
- 458
- 00:23:14,494 --> 00:23:16,871
- Didn't I tell you
- not to film that?
- 459
- 00:23:16,955 --> 00:23:18,957
- Maybe I can make this work.
- 460
- 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,418
- Let me run something by you.
- 461
- 00:23:21,501 --> 00:23:24,254
- The Swedish Duxiana mattress.
- 462
- 00:23:24,337 --> 00:23:27,257
- I haven't been able to
- sleep one night in it.
- 463
- 00:23:27,340 --> 00:23:31,177
- I'm not really interested in
- mattresses normally, but this is
- 464
- 00:23:31,261 --> 00:23:36,224
- my one time for this mattress,
- and I'm not even a mattress guy.
- 465
- 00:23:36,307 --> 00:23:37,600
- - You want the mattress, Carl?
- - Yeah.
- 466
- 00:23:37,684 --> 00:23:39,185
- Are you out of
- your fucking mind?
- 467
- 00:23:39,269 --> 00:23:40,562
- You're not getting the mattress.
- 468
- 00:23:40,645 --> 00:23:42,313
- Have you ever had
- your head examined?
- 469
- 00:23:42,397 --> 00:23:44,024
- What's in there, pop tarts?
- 470
- 00:23:44,107 --> 00:23:48,111
- "I'm not even a mattress guy."
- Jesus H Christ, Carl, you are
- 471
- 00:23:48,194 --> 00:23:49,279
- not getting the
- fucking mattress.
- 472
- 00:23:50,488 --> 00:23:52,615
- Why are we going
- through the backyard?
- 473
- 00:23:52,699 --> 00:23:54,367
- Why is the sky blue?
- 474
- 00:23:54,451 --> 00:23:58,246
- Cause sunlight is refracted by
- dust particles in the air and
- 475
- 00:23:58,329 --> 00:24:00,999
- blue is the dominant
- colour of the spectrum?
- 476
- 00:24:01,082 --> 00:24:04,836
- Did you learn that in the 5th
- grade, or from a 5th grader?
- 477
- 00:24:04,919 --> 00:24:06,212
- Ouch.
- 478
- 00:24:08,673 --> 00:24:11,092
- Baby, only you would
- think of turning Nigel's pool
- 479
- 00:24:11,176 --> 00:24:13,470
- into our own private drive-in.
- 480
- 00:24:13,553 --> 00:24:15,680
- Maybe I'm losing my mind.
- 481
- 00:24:15,764 --> 00:24:17,474
- Awww.
- 482
- 00:24:17,557 --> 00:24:18,975
- Look at her.
- 483
- 00:24:19,059 --> 00:24:21,853
- That was Rachel's
- 5th grade play.
- 484
- 00:24:21,936 --> 00:24:24,439
- She was so good.
- Rachel was the best thing in it.
- 485
- 00:24:24,522 --> 00:24:26,775
- I'm being objective.
- I mean, compared to Rachel,
- 486
- 00:24:26,858 --> 00:24:28,777
- the rest of these
- kids were all laughable.
- 487
- 00:24:28,860 --> 00:24:32,530
- Their screechy voices
- so hard on the ears.
- 488
- 00:24:33,948 --> 00:24:36,034
- Ah, and there it is.
- 489
- 00:24:36,117 --> 00:24:40,413
- Janice's grand
- unforgettable party.
- 490
- 00:24:40,497 --> 00:24:44,084
- Your sister only threw that
- party to prove how rich she is.
- 491
- 00:24:44,167 --> 00:24:48,004
- You know, I was in a
- 98 cents store today.
- 492
- 00:24:48,088 --> 00:24:49,547
- I bet you anything
- 493
- 00:24:49,631 --> 00:24:52,884
- that Janice would never
- set foot in one of those.
- 494
- 00:24:52,967 --> 00:24:55,470
- That's only because
- she married Dan, not because
- 495
- 00:24:55,553 --> 00:24:58,139
- she's any smarter than you.
- 496
- 00:24:58,223 --> 00:25:00,725
- Do you remember when
- we went together?
- 497
- 00:25:00,809 --> 00:25:03,812
- You were craving Baby Ruths.
- 498
- 00:25:03,895 --> 00:25:05,855
- I just had to have
- that Baby Ruth.
- 499
- 00:25:05,939 --> 00:25:09,359
- On a hunch we bought that
- pregnancy test and eight months
- 500
- 00:25:09,442 --> 00:25:13,863
- later, along came
- our little Rachel.
- 501
- 00:25:14,364 --> 00:25:15,865
- To Baby Ruths.
- 502
- 00:25:15,949 --> 00:25:17,617
- To Baby Ruths.
- 503
- 00:25:22,622 --> 00:25:24,833
- Hello?
- 504
- 00:25:25,542 --> 00:25:27,335
- Mr. Teagarten's not at home.
- 505
- 00:25:27,418 --> 00:25:28,878
- I'm sorry?
- 506
- 00:25:28,962 --> 00:25:30,380
- He owes you money?
- 507
- 00:25:31,714 --> 00:25:35,218
- Well, I'm his butler, not his
- accountant, you fucking arse.
- 508
- 00:25:39,139 --> 00:25:40,765
- That was Mastercard.
- 509
- 00:25:40,849 --> 00:25:43,935
- Frank, why don't we
- sell our funeral plots?
- 510
- 00:25:44,018 --> 00:25:47,605
- We can get what, 2,000
- dollars at least, right?
- 511
- 00:25:47,689 --> 00:25:49,399
- Shit, baby, I'm sorry.
- 512
- 00:25:49,482 --> 00:25:51,317
- School wanted a dorm deposit.
- 513
- 00:25:52,152 --> 00:25:53,403
- Well, how lovely.
- 514
- 00:25:53,486 --> 00:25:56,322
- I actually have to pee
- really badly right now,
- 515
- 00:25:56,406 --> 00:25:58,533
- and I would normally do it
- right here in the pool,
- 516
- 00:25:58,616 --> 00:26:00,743
- but I don't want to make our
- problems any worse.
- 517
- 00:26:09,002 --> 00:26:10,545
- Is that you, Carl?
- 518
- 00:26:13,464 --> 00:26:15,175
- What's up, pervert?
- 519
- 00:26:15,258 --> 00:26:16,801
- What the
- hell is going on here?
- 520
- 00:26:16,885 --> 00:26:19,846
- Nancy, Nancy, call 911!
- 521
- 00:26:19,929 --> 00:26:21,264
- Who you talking to?
- 522
- 00:26:21,347 --> 00:26:22,849
- Nobody.
- 523
- 00:26:22,932 --> 00:26:24,142
- There's nobody else here.
- 524
- 00:26:31,024 --> 00:26:32,400
- Oh my god.
- 525
- 00:26:34,527 --> 00:26:37,906
- Run, run, ISIS has come!
- 526
- 00:26:38,865 --> 00:26:40,533
- I am neutral!
- 527
- 00:26:40,950 --> 00:26:42,869
- Put me down! Put me down!
- 528
- 00:27:05,058 --> 00:27:07,352
- You know what this bitch was
- doing when I grabbed her?
- 529
- 00:27:07,435 --> 00:27:10,271
- Staring at a little
- girl in a leotard.
- 530
- 00:27:10,355 --> 00:27:12,023
- That was my daughter.
- 531
- 00:27:12,106 --> 00:27:14,359
- The law won't protect our
- community from deviants
- 532
- 00:27:14,442 --> 00:27:15,568
- like you.
- 533
- 00:27:15,652 --> 00:27:16,819
- We will.
- 534
- 00:27:18,613 --> 00:27:22,867
- So if we see you anywhere
- near 112 Blue Jay...
- 535
- 00:27:32,085 --> 00:27:34,337
- We just escaped death.
- 536
- 00:27:35,546 --> 00:27:37,590
- They thought you were Carl,
- because Carl gave out
- 537
- 00:27:37,674 --> 00:27:38,800
- Nigel's address.
- 538
- 00:27:38,883 --> 00:27:40,677
- They thought
- I was Carl because he gave
- 539
- 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:41,844
- out Nigel's address.
- 540
- 00:27:41,928 --> 00:27:44,264
- That's what I just said,
- why are you screaming?
- 541
- 00:27:44,347 --> 00:27:45,723
- The gunshots.
- 542
- 00:27:45,807 --> 00:27:47,392
- My ears are, you know.
- 543
- 00:27:49,143 --> 00:27:51,813
- You know how you know when
- your life is out of control?
- 544
- 00:27:53,231 --> 00:27:55,316
- When there's a ringing in your
- ears and you don't know if it's
- 545
- 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:59,195
- a creditor calling or a
- kidnapper has fired a shotgun
- 546
- 00:27:59,279 --> 00:28:01,990
- six inches from your head.
- 547
- 00:28:05,618 --> 00:28:08,079
- Is that
- Spanx over tights?
- 548
- 00:28:08,162 --> 00:28:10,665
- Yes, I'm double Spanking.
- 549
- 00:28:10,748 --> 00:28:13,334
- Do you have to scream
- it to the world?
- 550
- 00:28:14,752 --> 00:28:16,879
- Cause right about now, I'd like
- to have a pair of really tight
- 551
- 00:28:16,963 --> 00:28:20,049
- Spanx around my fucking neck.
- 552
- 00:28:21,217 --> 00:28:23,094
- No, Janice
- would never understand.
- 553
- 00:28:23,177 --> 00:28:24,887
- But she's your sister.
- 554
- 00:28:24,971 --> 00:28:26,973
- She will ask too many questions.
- 555
- 00:28:27,598 --> 00:28:29,392
- Our car broke down.
- 556
- 00:28:29,475 --> 00:28:30,685
- Right.
- 557
- 00:28:30,768 --> 00:28:34,272
- And I'm barefoot because
- we have the Flintstone's car,
- 558
- 00:28:34,355 --> 00:28:36,733
- and I peddled it like Wilma.
- 559
- 00:28:39,819 --> 00:28:41,571
- What's your guess
- on his net worth?
- 560
- 00:28:41,654 --> 00:28:42,947
- I'd say at least
- a hundred million.
- 561
- 00:28:43,031 --> 00:28:44,741
- It's as high as two
- hundred million.
- 562
- 00:28:44,824 --> 00:28:45,783
- No, that's too high.
- 563
- 00:28:45,867 --> 00:28:47,618
- At least a hundred million.
- 564
- 00:28:47,702 --> 00:28:49,412
- He's definitely well fed.
- 565
- 00:28:49,495 --> 00:28:50,538
- Please, let's go.
- 566
- 00:28:50,621 --> 00:28:53,082
- She'll never buy our bullshit.
- 567
- 00:28:53,166 --> 00:28:56,294
- And you can't tell her, or
- anybody else for that matter.
- 568
- 00:28:56,377 --> 00:28:59,047
- That's how this falling
- from grace thing works.
- 569
- 00:28:59,130 --> 00:29:02,300
- People find out, they look
- away, they avert their eyes.
- 570
- 00:29:02,759 --> 00:29:04,427
- Especially our friends.
- 571
- 00:29:04,510 --> 00:29:06,763
- Are they really
- our friends, then?
- 572
- 00:29:06,846 --> 00:29:09,015
- Nancy, I'm too tired to have a
- deep conversation right now.
- 573
- 00:29:11,476 --> 00:29:12,643
- But no.
- 574
- 00:29:13,770 --> 00:29:16,314
- No, Frank. Why are
- you forcing me to do this?
- 575
- 00:29:16,397 --> 00:29:18,775
- I cannot take this
- shit right now.
- 576
- 00:29:18,858 --> 00:29:20,860
- I'm going to get
- an anxiety attack.
- 577
- 00:29:20,943 --> 00:29:22,278
- Not Betty.
- 578
- 00:29:22,362 --> 00:29:25,281
- Okay, I understand you didn't
- want to stay at Janice's,
- 579
- 00:29:25,365 --> 00:29:26,949
- but now you don't want to stay
- at this sister's house?
- 580
- 00:29:27,033 --> 00:29:28,368
- but we have nowhere to go.
- 581
- 00:29:28,451 --> 00:29:30,703
- Carl's in our house, we can't go
- back to Nigel's because those
- 582
- 00:29:30,787 --> 00:29:33,539
- psychos said they'd kill us,
- we don't have any credit cards,
- 583
- 00:29:33,623 --> 00:29:35,750
- you're barefoot,
- and I feel like hell.
- 584
- 00:29:35,833 --> 00:29:37,001
- Of course you do.
- 585
- 00:29:37,085 --> 00:29:39,962
- Cause we're almost there.
- That is hell.
- 586
- 00:29:40,046 --> 00:29:42,799
- It's like we're in Kansas,
- and we're about to get sucked
- 587
- 00:29:42,882 --> 00:29:47,053
- into a tornado and
- drop into an inferno
- 588
- 00:29:47,136 --> 00:29:49,931
- where Oompa-Loompa's on
- speed are the gatekeepers.
- 589
- 00:29:50,014 --> 00:29:52,600
- Baby, I'm going to need
- some time to sort through all
- 590
- 00:29:52,683 --> 00:29:55,770
- those analogies.
- Besides, it's not that bad.
- 591
- 00:29:55,853 --> 00:29:57,313
- Just smile a lot.
- 592
- 00:29:57,397 --> 00:29:59,065
- See? Smile.
- 593
- 00:29:59,148 --> 00:30:00,108
- Like this.
- 594
- 00:30:00,191 --> 00:30:01,901
- Let's see how long that lasts.
- 595
- 00:30:07,365 --> 00:30:08,699
- Hi Tristan.
- 596
- 00:30:08,783 --> 00:30:09,492
- Hi Tristan.
- 597
- 00:30:09,575 --> 00:30:11,077
- Why is she barefoot?
- 598
- 00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:13,830
- Uh, Tai Chi.
- It's very relaxing.
- 599
- 00:30:13,913 --> 00:30:15,164
- Uh, can we come in?
- 600
- 00:30:15,248 --> 00:30:17,208
- I guess you could come in.
- 601
- 00:30:18,251 --> 00:30:20,878
- Dad, Uncle Frank and
- Aunt Nancy are here.
- 602
- 00:30:20,962 --> 00:30:22,755
- That's a really
- cool walkie-talkie.
- 603
- 00:30:22,839 --> 00:30:25,758
- Yeah, well not to me.
- My fucking dad won't spring
- 604
- 00:30:25,842 --> 00:30:28,594
- for the Ace 10s,
- which are way more badass.
- 605
- 00:30:28,678 --> 00:30:30,096
- Hmm.
- 606
- 00:30:30,179 --> 00:30:32,223
- Navy Seals use Ace 10s, they
- also use cool martial arts like
- 607
- 00:30:32,306 --> 00:30:33,933
- Krav Maga and cool
- shit like that.
- 608
- 00:30:34,016 --> 00:30:36,727
- Tai Chi's for homos, but
- you probably knew that.
- 609
- 00:30:36,811 --> 00:30:38,438
- Smile, Frank.
- 610
- 00:30:39,063 --> 00:30:40,606
- Oh, hi Trey.
- 611
- 00:30:40,690 --> 00:30:41,732
- I wish.
- 612
- 00:30:41,816 --> 00:30:45,194
- My walkie talkie is
- dead as a used dick.
- 613
- 00:30:45,278 --> 00:30:46,696
- You have any 9-volt batteries?
- 614
- 00:30:46,779 --> 00:30:48,197
- - Me?
- - Can I search you?
- 615
- 00:30:48,281 --> 00:30:49,282
- - What?
- - Nothing.
- 616
- 00:30:49,365 --> 00:30:52,034
- Dad, for god sakes, what
- is this, a Becket play?
- 617
- 00:30:52,118 --> 00:30:53,494
- When did this turn
- into Waiting for Godot?
- 618
- 00:30:53,578 --> 00:30:56,038
- That is quite a reference
- for a young lad.
- 619
- 00:30:56,122 --> 00:30:58,124
- Yeah.
- I'm Vladimir and he's Estrago.
- 620
- 00:30:58,207 --> 00:31:00,084
- - It's Estragon.
- - Bullshit.
- 621
- 00:31:00,168 --> 00:31:03,212
- Dad, chop-chop,
- the small talk is getting a
- 622
- 00:31:03,296 --> 00:31:04,464
- little thin out here.
- 623
- 00:31:04,547 --> 00:31:06,424
- All right, I'm coming,
- I'm coming, don't get
- 624
- 00:31:06,507 --> 00:31:07,467
- your panties in a wad.
- 625
- 00:31:07,550 --> 00:31:09,552
- All hail Lord Douchington.
- 626
- 00:31:09,635 --> 00:31:10,636
- Hi, Bob.
- 627
- 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:12,555
- Hey, you made it.
- How's the trip?
- 628
- 00:31:12,638 --> 00:31:13,973
- Found everything okay?
- 629
- 00:31:14,056 --> 00:31:14,765
- Douche.
- 630
- 00:31:14,849 --> 00:31:17,143
- Hey, that's TV for a week, pal.
- 631
- 00:31:17,226 --> 00:31:18,644
- Señor Douche.
- 632
- 00:31:18,728 --> 00:31:19,812
- Yup.
- 633
- 00:31:21,022 --> 00:31:22,106
- God.
- 634
- 00:31:22,190 --> 00:31:23,441
- Delightful.
- 635
- 00:31:23,524 --> 00:31:25,443
- Hey, so Nance, how
- come you're barefoot?
- 636
- 00:31:25,526 --> 00:31:27,111
- You ain't going
- hippie on me, are ya?
- 637
- 00:31:27,195 --> 00:31:28,196
- Yeah.
- 638
- 00:31:28,279 --> 00:31:31,324
- I'm like Wilma Flintstone.
- 639
- 00:31:32,116 --> 00:31:33,618
- Fred was the one who drove.
- 640
- 00:31:33,701 --> 00:31:35,244
- Wilma just rode shotgun.
- 641
- 00:31:35,328 --> 00:31:36,913
- She drove sometimes.
- 642
- 00:31:36,996 --> 00:31:39,624
- So, uh, they're termite
- tending your house? What?
- 643
- 00:31:39,707 --> 00:31:41,918
- Well yeah, we tried to sleep
- in the den, but there were all
- 644
- 00:31:42,001 --> 00:31:44,921
- these fumes, and then it was
- like we were back in the 60s.
- 645
- 00:31:46,297 --> 00:31:48,257
- Well, I wouldn't know.
- I'm way younger than you are.
- 646
- 00:31:48,341 --> 00:31:50,092
- Hey, but I do know
- the tending game.
- 647
- 00:31:50,176 --> 00:31:51,761
- We got spiders.
- 648
- 00:31:51,844 --> 00:31:54,597
- When those spider eggs pop,
- those little spiders come out,
- 649
- 00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:56,182
- they start biting
- everything like crazy.
- 650
- 00:31:56,265 --> 00:31:58,017
- Smile, Frank.
- 651
- 00:31:58,100 --> 00:31:59,018
- Heh.
- 652
- 00:31:59,101 --> 00:32:01,479
- Oh, yeah.
- Do I sound defensive?
- 653
- 00:32:01,562 --> 00:32:02,438
- No.
- 654
- 00:32:02,522 --> 00:32:03,523
- Is Betty coming down?
- 655
- 00:32:03,606 --> 00:32:05,107
- I was telling
- Frank on the phone,
- 656
- 00:32:05,191 --> 00:32:06,901
- she's laid up with diarrhea.
- 657
- 00:32:06,984 --> 00:32:09,320
- Accidentally made a
- sandwich out of cat food.
- 658
- 00:32:09,403 --> 00:32:11,697
- Well, don't worry about us.
- We had dinner already.
- 659
- 00:32:11,781 --> 00:32:13,533
- I think I'm gonna go
- see how she's doing.
- 660
- 00:32:13,616 --> 00:32:14,450
- Hey, hey, hey.
- 661
- 00:32:14,534 --> 00:32:16,494
- You don't wanna go
- up there right now.
- 662
- 00:32:16,577 --> 00:32:20,122
- She's on the throne, blowing
- brown, if you catch my drift.
- 663
- 00:32:20,206 --> 00:32:21,415
- I caught it, yup.
- 664
- 00:32:21,499 --> 00:32:23,334
- Hey, but like I said,
- you two are welcome to
- 665
- 00:32:23,417 --> 00:32:24,460
- bunk in the twins' room.
- 666
- 00:32:24,544 --> 00:32:27,296
- Our room? Why not your room?
- 667
- 00:32:27,380 --> 00:32:30,341
- Because you two can sleep
- on the couch tonight. Over.
- 668
- 00:32:30,758 --> 00:32:33,594
- Ever hear of a Motel 6? Over.
- 669
- 00:32:33,678 --> 00:32:34,804
- Hilarious.
- 670
- 00:32:34,887 --> 00:32:37,014
- I'm just gonna
- show you to the room,
- 671
- 00:32:37,098 --> 00:32:38,641
- hopefully we won't get lost.
- 672
- 00:32:38,724 --> 00:32:40,643
- Let's do
- this every month.
- 673
- 00:32:46,607 --> 00:32:47,733
- Sorry, fellas.
- 674
- 00:32:48,150 --> 00:32:49,694
- Sorry enough to go away?
- 675
- 00:32:49,777 --> 00:32:50,736
- Wow.
- 676
- 00:32:50,820 --> 00:32:52,280
- The bed is small.
- 677
- 00:32:52,363 --> 00:32:55,408
- If you're gonna do any stuff on
- it, just wash the sheets after.
- 678
- 00:32:56,659 --> 00:32:57,827
- Will do.
- 679
- 00:32:57,910 --> 00:32:59,620
- It's gross.
- 680
- 00:33:00,580 --> 00:33:01,914
- Are we talking about
- the same thing?
- 681
- 00:33:02,623 --> 00:33:03,416
- I'm serious.
- 682
- 00:33:03,499 --> 00:33:04,292
- I'm sure you are.
- 683
- 00:33:04,375 --> 00:33:05,209
- Do we have a problem?
- 684
- 00:33:05,293 --> 00:33:07,587
- I don't think so.
- Are we done now?
- 685
- 00:33:07,670 --> 00:33:09,672
- Yeah. I think we're done.
- 686
- 00:33:09,755 --> 00:33:12,550
- Did you know that you can
- hack into baby monitors?
- 687
- 00:33:12,633 --> 00:33:16,012
- We're teaching our neighbour's
- baby how to say the N-word.
- 688
- 00:33:17,221 --> 00:33:18,806
- Nancy, would you join
- me outside for a second?
- 689
- 00:33:18,889 --> 00:33:19,890
- Yeah.
- 690
- 00:33:19,974 --> 00:33:22,602
- You understand now what
- I was talking about?
- 691
- 00:33:22,685 --> 00:33:24,437
- Except the Oompa-Loompa's
- are not on speed,
- 692
- 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:26,981
- they are on angel dust.
- 693
- 00:33:27,064 --> 00:33:29,066
- How did we get so
- lucky with Rachel?
- 694
- 00:33:29,150 --> 00:33:31,652
- We communicated with her
- directly, not through some
- 695
- 00:33:31,736 --> 00:33:34,614
- CB radio. Let's start
- there and reverse engineer it.
- 696
- 00:33:37,158 --> 00:33:40,453
- I was thinking, we rented
- Nigel's house to Carl but we had
- 697
- 00:33:40,536 --> 00:33:42,622
- to move him over to our house,
- which means that Nigel's house
- 698
- 00:33:42,705 --> 00:33:43,664
- is still empty.
- 699
- 00:33:43,748 --> 00:33:45,708
- I say we rent Nigel's
- house again...
- 700
- 00:33:45,791 --> 00:33:46,959
- Frank!
- 701
- 00:33:47,043 --> 00:33:48,544
- Only this time to somebody
- who isn't a sex offender.
- 702
- 00:33:48,628 --> 00:33:52,673
- Or, why don't we just handcuff
- ourselves and walk straight into
- 703
- 00:33:52,757 --> 00:33:54,717
- the police station, Frank?
- 704
- 00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:57,053
- This place is filled
- with spider webs.
- 705
- 00:33:57,136 --> 00:33:58,512
- Well, as you can see,
- they don't clean.
- 706
- 00:33:58,596 --> 00:34:00,931
- The original Craigslist
- ad is still on my phone.
- 707
- 00:34:01,015 --> 00:34:02,808
- I say we post it again.
- 708
- 00:34:02,892 --> 00:34:04,894
- Are you not listening
- to me, Frank?
- 709
- 00:34:05,311 --> 00:34:08,731
- Absolutely no fucking way.
- 710
- 00:34:08,814 --> 00:34:10,399
- This is where we draw the line.
- 711
- 00:34:10,483 --> 00:34:12,610
- Baby, I don't know what's on
- the other side of that line,
- 712
- 00:34:12,693 --> 00:34:14,487
- but I do know what's on
- this side of that line,
- 713
- 00:34:14,570 --> 00:34:15,780
- and it is bleak.
- 714
- 00:34:15,863 --> 00:34:17,740
- Okay, here's the
- original Craigslist ad.
- 715
- 00:34:17,823 --> 00:34:18,908
- - Don't you dare.
- - We delete some of
- 716
- 00:34:18,991 --> 00:34:20,576
- the bad words, I think
- you were drunk at the time.
- 717
- 00:34:20,660 --> 00:34:22,411
- I was drunk at the time?
- 718
- 00:34:22,495 --> 00:34:25,790
- And it is done.
- 719
- 00:34:25,873 --> 00:34:28,459
- You just posted it again?
- Aaaah, Frank!
- 720
- 00:34:28,542 --> 00:34:29,919
- You just smoked a spider!
- 721
- 00:34:33,547 --> 00:34:35,091
- Give me the Heimlich!
- 722
- 00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,557
- What the hell's going on?
- You woke up my baby.
- 723
- 00:34:43,641 --> 00:34:45,685
- Frank, I get it,
- you smoked a spider.
- 724
- 00:34:45,768 --> 00:34:47,478
- But can you keep it down?
- 725
- 00:34:48,312 --> 00:34:50,272
- Hit me in the back.
- 726
- 00:34:51,732 --> 00:34:53,651
- Not with the shovel!
- 727
- 00:34:55,194 --> 00:34:58,239
- Natalie, tell your kids
- to stay off my baby monitor.
- 728
- 00:34:58,322 --> 00:35:00,491
- It's your fault for
- having a baby monitor.
- 729
- 00:35:00,574 --> 00:35:01,951
- It's an attractive nuisance.
- 730
- 00:35:02,034 --> 00:35:03,786
- There it is.
- 731
- 00:35:06,205 --> 00:35:08,958
- Frank, are you okay?
- 732
- 00:35:09,041 --> 00:35:10,876
- Do you want another cigarette?
- 733
- 00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:13,337
- Are you all right baby?
- 734
- 00:35:38,738 --> 00:35:40,197
- Dad, come quick.
- 735
- 00:35:40,281 --> 00:35:42,366
- Why is Uncle Frank
- doing this to me?
- 736
- 00:35:45,244 --> 00:35:46,245
- Oh my god.
- 737
- 00:35:46,328 --> 00:35:47,496
- Yes?
- 738
- 00:35:47,580 --> 00:35:48,664
- Frank!
- 739
- 00:35:49,790 --> 00:35:50,916
- My god.
- 740
- 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,960
- What is going on?
- 741
- 00:35:53,043 --> 00:35:55,337
- Nancy, are you naked?
- 742
- 00:35:55,421 --> 00:35:57,923
- No, I'm not naked.
- It's a shirt.
- 743
- 00:35:58,007 --> 00:35:59,967
- Tristan, what are those?
- 744
- 00:36:00,050 --> 00:36:02,762
- It's Aunt Nancy's Spanx,
- Uncle Frank made me wear them.
- 745
- 00:36:02,845 --> 00:36:04,138
- Now stop this.
- 746
- 00:36:04,221 --> 00:36:06,056
- Frank, how could
- you, he's just a boy.
- 747
- 00:36:06,140 --> 00:36:07,516
- I'm so scared right now.
- 748
- 00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:09,101
- Oh shit.
- 749
- 00:36:09,185 --> 00:36:10,144
- Jesus Christ.
- 750
- 00:36:10,227 --> 00:36:11,687
- Betty...
- 751
- 00:36:11,771 --> 00:36:14,106
- She just stuck
- her tongue out at me.
- 752
- 00:36:14,190 --> 00:36:16,984
- Frank, downstairs, now.
- 753
- 00:36:21,781 --> 00:36:23,199
- Who are you?
- 754
- 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:29,371
- You know what, Frank?
- 755
- 00:36:29,455 --> 00:36:32,374
- It's not pleasant to be
- mistaken for a sex offender,
- 756
- 00:36:32,458 --> 00:36:36,670
- and molesting your nephew
- in less than 24 hours.
- 757
- 00:36:37,755 --> 00:36:40,508
- But right now, I feel
- sorry for my sister.
- 758
- 00:36:40,591 --> 00:36:43,052
- I am actually really
- worried for her.
- 759
- 00:36:43,135 --> 00:36:45,054
- As you should be.
- 760
- 00:36:45,137 --> 00:36:47,848
- Pretty soon, some court
- appointed therapist
- 761
- 00:36:47,932 --> 00:36:49,767
- is going to be white
- knuckling with those two kids.
- 762
- 00:36:51,185 --> 00:36:52,812
- I see that your sister
- calmed down enough to lend
- 763
- 00:36:52,895 --> 00:36:54,021
- you her wig, huh?
- 764
- 00:36:54,104 --> 00:36:57,107
- Uh, yeah, I don't know whose
- wig is it, in that house.
- 765
- 00:36:57,191 --> 00:36:59,068
- Well, it helps us hide
- from the kidnappers.
- 766
- 00:37:00,486 --> 00:37:02,571
- Hey, are you Wayne, the
- guy that answered the ad?
- 767
- 00:37:02,655 --> 00:37:03,823
- - Yeah, yeah.
- - I'm Frank.
- 768
- 00:37:03,906 --> 00:37:05,950
- What are you two, in the
- witness protection program?
- 769
- 00:37:06,033 --> 00:37:08,077
- No, we were just sunning
- ourselves in the backyard.
- 770
- 00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:09,453
- - Is that your truck, Wayne?
- - Yeah.
- 771
- 00:37:09,537 --> 00:37:10,830
- Oh that's fantastic.
- Step inside and we'll
- 772
- 00:37:10,913 --> 00:37:12,373
- just take a look at the house.
- Okay?
- 773
- 00:37:15,835 --> 00:37:18,254
- The ad said the house
- comes furnished?
- 774
- 00:37:18,337 --> 00:37:20,798
- Uh, yep. It only needs
- a mattress. Long story.
- 775
- 00:37:20,881 --> 00:37:22,299
- The previous tenant took it.
- 776
- 00:37:22,383 --> 00:37:23,300
- Short story.
- 777
- 00:37:23,384 --> 00:37:25,803
- Okay then.
- I wrote you a cheque.
- 778
- 00:37:26,595 --> 00:37:27,596
- You uh, that's it?
- 779
- 00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:28,931
- You don't want to
- have a look around?
- 780
- 00:37:29,014 --> 00:37:30,015
- It's not to be an asshole.
- 781
- 00:37:30,099 --> 00:37:31,308
- You want to rent
- the place or not?
- 782
- 00:37:31,392 --> 00:37:32,935
- I mean, I got shit
- tons of stuff to do.
- 783
- 00:37:33,018 --> 00:37:35,062
- Yes, uh, no, uh, sure.
- 784
- 00:37:35,145 --> 00:37:37,356
- It's just that normally
- there's a process.
- 785
- 00:37:37,439 --> 00:37:39,233
- We learned the hard
- way to ask questions.
- 786
- 00:37:39,316 --> 00:37:41,652
- Did you hear that?
- 787
- 00:37:42,736 --> 00:37:43,988
- What's that?
- 788
- 00:37:45,281 --> 00:37:46,323
- Good lord.
- 789
- 00:37:46,407 --> 00:37:47,658
- Oh, there's
- something on my face.
- 790
- 00:37:47,741 --> 00:37:49,577
- No, don't touch your face!
- Don't panic.
- 791
- 00:37:49,660 --> 00:37:51,704
- You're covered in spiders.
- 792
- 00:37:51,787 --> 00:37:53,205
- Jesus, baby don't move.
- 793
- 00:37:55,499 --> 00:37:57,293
- Agh, they're
- crawling on my body.
- 794
- 00:37:57,376 --> 00:37:59,545
- Get them, get them!
- 795
- 00:38:00,546 --> 00:38:03,007
- They're biting me,
- they're biting me!
- 796
- 00:38:03,090 --> 00:38:06,176
- They're
- biting me, get them out!
- 797
- 00:38:12,099 --> 00:38:14,310
- Get them out!
- 798
- 00:38:33,829 --> 00:38:35,664
- Oh Frank,
- what have I done?
- 799
- 00:38:35,748 --> 00:38:37,333
- Tell my Rachel I love her.
- 800
- 00:38:37,416 --> 00:38:39,043
- You're not going to die,
- you're not going to die.
- 801
- 00:38:39,126 --> 00:38:40,586
- You hear me? Woah! Woah!
- 802
- 00:38:40,669 --> 00:38:43,005
- Stop scratching yourself, don't
- antagonize it, for god sake's.
- 803
- 00:38:43,589 --> 00:38:45,007
- Nancy! You're gonna be fine,
- 804
- 00:38:45,090 --> 00:38:46,759
- the doctors will
- give you an ointment.
- 805
- 00:38:46,842 --> 00:38:48,302
- Hold on, hold on.
- 806
- 00:38:48,385 --> 00:38:50,054
- God I hate spiders, don't you?
- 807
- 00:38:50,137 --> 00:38:52,306
- - Wait, there's another one.
- - Woah!
- 808
- 00:39:06,403 --> 00:39:08,864
- ♪ Kickin' up a storm,
- black clouds of grey ♪
- 809
- 00:39:08,948 --> 00:39:11,659
- ♪ Interstate 40's
- backing up fast ♪
- 810
- 00:39:11,742 --> 00:39:14,578
- ♪ Look to the east,
- no relief in sight ♪
- 811
- 00:39:14,662 --> 00:39:17,331
- ♪ Pull yourself together
- cause I gather we might ♪
- 812
- 00:39:17,414 --> 00:39:21,293
- ♪ The river's gone wild,
- the river's gone wild ♪
- 813
- 00:39:31,470 --> 00:39:33,305
- Oh.
- 814
- 00:39:33,973 --> 00:39:35,432
- Tyler, how are you?
- 815
- 00:39:35,516 --> 00:39:38,143
- Uh, Frank, how are you?
- 816
- 00:39:38,227 --> 00:39:40,646
- I'm on the right side of the
- grass my man, what's the happs?
- 817
- 00:39:41,855 --> 00:39:44,608
- No offence Frank, but
- how did you get in here?
- 818
- 00:39:44,692 --> 00:39:46,610
- This is a restricted
- access garage.
- 819
- 00:39:47,695 --> 00:39:49,613
- Well, I still have
- my Jensen parking pass,
- 820
- 00:39:49,697 --> 00:39:52,658
- and I have an interview
- today up on 16 with Gretina.
- 821
- 00:39:54,076 --> 00:39:56,662
- Gretina's not on
- 16 anymore, Frank.
- 822
- 00:39:56,745 --> 00:39:58,205
- What floor are they on?
- 823
- 00:39:58,288 --> 00:39:59,707
- They moved to Seattle.
- 824
- 00:40:01,250 --> 00:40:03,919
- Well, don't remind me,
- cause I'm dying for a Starbucks,
- 825
- 00:40:04,003 --> 00:40:05,921
- but the meeting is on Skype.
- 826
- 00:40:06,005 --> 00:40:08,590
- I'm gonna Skype to uh, Seattle.
- 827
- 00:40:12,136 --> 00:40:13,095
- Don't, don't.
- 828
- 00:40:13,178 --> 00:40:14,972
- Don't Tyler, don't
- give me that look.
- 829
- 00:40:15,055 --> 00:40:16,765
- I know that look. Please.
- 830
- 00:40:18,225 --> 00:40:19,476
- Everything's fine.
- 831
- 00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:20,811
- Everything with us is okay.
- 832
- 00:40:20,894 --> 00:40:23,772
- Honey, you remember Tyler
- Rector from Jensen Med?
- 833
- 00:40:23,856 --> 00:40:24,898
- Baby, can you hear me?
- 834
- 00:40:33,699 --> 00:40:34,908
- How can I help?
- 835
- 00:40:36,702 --> 00:40:40,205
- So that's the long and
- short but the silver lining is
- 836
- 00:40:40,289 --> 00:40:41,790
- that, at least for now,
- 837
- 00:40:41,874 --> 00:40:43,751
- we don't have to worry
- about Rachel's college.
- 838
- 00:40:43,834 --> 00:40:45,002
- But, we're homeless.
- 839
- 00:40:46,879 --> 00:40:49,214
- Wow, that's quite a story.
- 840
- 00:40:50,215 --> 00:40:52,676
- So all this started
- with one mistake?
- 841
- 00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:55,637
- With a bunch of
- smaller ones shooting off it.
- 842
- 00:40:55,721 --> 00:41:00,517
- Kind of like when a spider egg
- pops, and all these little
- 843
- 00:41:00,601 --> 00:41:04,730
- spiders come and
- bite you in the ass.
- 844
- 00:41:04,813 --> 00:41:06,690
- Are you gonna eat that?
- 845
- 00:41:06,774 --> 00:41:08,442
- No, please.
- 846
- 00:41:09,026 --> 00:41:10,360
- Thank you.
- 847
- 00:41:11,278 --> 00:41:12,613
- Listen, guys.
- 848
- 00:41:12,696 --> 00:41:14,114
- I know someone.
- 849
- 00:41:14,198 --> 00:41:16,533
- His name's Randall.
- Let me give him a call.
- 850
- 00:41:16,617 --> 00:41:18,368
- Frank, he might have
- something for you.
- 851
- 00:41:18,452 --> 00:41:19,536
- It'd be a start.
- 852
- 00:41:19,620 --> 00:41:21,330
- Tyler,
- that would be great.
- 853
- 00:41:21,413 --> 00:41:23,707
- And we also still
- have Wayne's cheque.
- 854
- 00:41:23,791 --> 00:41:25,584
- We can always cash that.
- 855
- 00:41:26,919 --> 00:41:30,005
- Frank, if you cash that cheque,
- then it's no longer one mistake.
- 856
- 00:41:30,089 --> 00:41:31,256
- It becomes a pattern.
- 857
- 00:41:31,340 --> 00:41:34,051
- Exactly. That's what
- I've been trying to tell him.
- 858
- 00:41:34,134 --> 00:41:37,387
- But Tyler, desperation
- is a bitch.
- 859
- 00:41:37,471 --> 00:41:42,059
- Thank you so much for everything
- that you've done to help us.
- 860
- 00:41:42,142 --> 00:41:45,229
- So, you guys have your
- work cut out for you.
- 861
- 00:41:45,312 --> 00:41:48,982
- Just remember, grass can
- grow through concrete.
- 862
- 00:41:50,234 --> 00:41:53,654
- Did he say your ass can
- grow through concrete?
- 863
- 00:41:53,737 --> 00:41:58,325
- No, no, the phrase is "grass
- can grow through concrete."
- 864
- 00:41:59,409 --> 00:42:01,161
- Could I give you that, please?
- Do you mind if I...?
- 865
- 00:42:01,245 --> 00:42:02,621
- Thank you.
- 866
- 00:42:07,459 --> 00:42:10,129
- Nancy, you're
- gonna be all right.
- 867
- 00:42:14,591 --> 00:42:16,051
- Don't panic, Nancy.
- 868
- 00:42:16,593 --> 00:42:18,345
- You're gonna take a hot bath.
- 869
- 00:42:18,428 --> 00:42:20,556
- You're gonna get fresh clothes,
- 870
- 00:42:20,639 --> 00:42:22,432
- you're gonna do your
- hair and makeup.
- 871
- 00:42:22,516 --> 00:42:24,852
- In three minutes
- you'll be yourself.
- 872
- 00:42:24,935 --> 00:42:27,062
- What the fuck?
- 873
- 00:42:28,438 --> 00:42:30,274
- Thank you for taking
- this lunch, I know you're busy.
- 874
- 00:42:30,357 --> 00:42:31,567
- No, of course.
- 875
- 00:42:31,650 --> 00:42:33,152
- Tyler called me, told me a
- little about your background.
- 876
- 00:42:33,235 --> 00:42:35,654
- Well, I hope he exaggerated
- in all the right places.
- 877
- 00:42:37,656 --> 00:42:39,324
- That's my wife, I'm sorry.
- 878
- 00:42:39,867 --> 00:42:40,617
- Hi honey.
- 879
- 00:42:40,701 --> 00:42:42,536
- Dammit Frank. We're cursed.
- 880
- 00:42:42,619 --> 00:42:45,581
- I am at Nigel's house,
- and everything is gone.
- 881
- 00:42:45,664 --> 00:42:49,751
- They took my purse, my
- phone, Nigel's furniture.
- 882
- 00:42:49,835 --> 00:42:53,922
- That guy Wayne was all
- wrong, and we knew it.
- 883
- 00:42:54,006 --> 00:42:57,092
- Now fuck it, they
- stole everything!
- 884
- 00:42:57,176 --> 00:42:58,844
- I see, uh.
- 885
- 00:42:58,927 --> 00:43:00,304
- That's uh, yes.
- 886
- 00:43:00,387 --> 00:43:01,722
- That's great.
- 887
- 00:43:01,805 --> 00:43:04,433
- Thanks for calling, and
- we'll celebrate later, okay?
- 888
- 00:43:04,516 --> 00:43:06,059
- I'll see you. Bye.
- 889
- 00:43:06,143 --> 00:43:07,394
- No, no, don't hang up.
- 890
- 00:43:07,477 --> 00:43:08,312
- You okay?
- 891
- 00:43:08,395 --> 00:43:09,605
- Uh, yeah, it's all good.
- 892
- 00:43:09,688 --> 00:43:13,525
- My wife just got an article
- published in Omni magazine.
- 893
- 00:43:14,359 --> 00:43:15,402
- Great.
- 894
- 00:43:15,485 --> 00:43:17,029
- Omni must be feeling good too.
- 895
- 00:43:17,112 --> 00:43:18,572
- Be back up and running.
- 896
- 00:43:18,655 --> 00:43:19,698
- I'm sorry?
- 897
- 00:43:19,781 --> 00:43:22,117
- They folded about
- two decades ago.
- 898
- 00:43:23,327 --> 00:43:24,745
- Wow.
- 899
- 00:43:24,828 --> 00:43:27,748
- Man plans and God
- laughs, right? I mean-
- 900
- 00:43:27,831 --> 00:43:29,750
- Everybody's got a
- plan until you get...
- 901
- 00:43:30,500 --> 00:43:31,877
- punched in the face.
- 902
- 00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:33,045
- Jesus.
- 903
- 00:43:33,128 --> 00:43:34,379
- Sorry, Frank.
- 904
- 00:43:35,214 --> 00:43:36,340
- I'm sorry.
- 905
- 00:43:36,423 --> 00:43:37,299
- No, no.
- 906
- 00:43:37,382 --> 00:43:38,884
- I'm Frank, you're...
- 907
- 00:43:38,967 --> 00:43:40,969
- - Randall.
- - Randall. Right.
- 908
- 00:43:41,053 --> 00:43:43,138
- I'm sorry.
- Can we start over again?
- 909
- 00:43:43,722 --> 00:43:44,598
- Sure.
- 910
- 00:43:46,433 --> 00:43:48,143
- Hi, I'm Frank.
- 911
- 00:44:09,748 --> 00:44:11,083
- For God sake!
- 912
- 00:44:11,166 --> 00:44:13,877
- Carl!
- I just need to get a few things.
- 913
- 00:44:48,662 --> 00:44:51,248
- You come in my house, you
- come in my house, you like that?
- 914
- 00:44:51,331 --> 00:44:52,416
- You like that?
- 915
- 00:44:58,171 --> 00:45:01,925
- I'm sorry, my gosh,
- did you change your hair?
- 916
- 00:45:05,846 --> 00:45:07,681
- I'm so sorry about
- the pepper spray,
- 917
- 00:45:07,764 --> 00:45:09,182
- I thought you were an intruder.
- 918
- 00:45:09,266 --> 00:45:10,809
- Not that you look
- like an intruder.
- 919
- 00:45:10,892 --> 00:45:13,478
- I'm against profiling,
- not that I necessarily would
- 920
- 00:45:13,562 --> 00:45:17,566
- want sushi from a redhead,
- I prefer an Asian chap,
- 921
- 00:45:17,649 --> 00:45:19,151
- if you know what I mean.
- 922
- 00:45:19,234 --> 00:45:20,777
- Why didn't my key work?
- 923
- 00:45:20,861 --> 00:45:22,738
- I had the locks changed.
- 924
- 00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:24,406
- You what?
- 925
- 00:45:24,489 --> 00:45:26,074
- You can't change our locks.
- 926
- 00:45:26,158 --> 00:45:27,117
- Carl?
- 927
- 00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:28,577
- Oh, um...
- 928
- 00:45:29,328 --> 00:45:31,038
- This is not your house, Carl.
- 929
- 00:45:31,121 --> 00:45:32,247
- I, look...
- 930
- 00:45:32,331 --> 00:45:34,249
- What are you wearing?
- 931
- 00:45:34,333 --> 00:45:35,834
- What, this?
- 932
- 00:45:35,917 --> 00:45:38,670
- You know what, I uh,
- I got you guys a key.
- 933
- 00:45:38,754 --> 00:45:40,088
- Um.
- 934
- 00:45:40,172 --> 00:45:41,840
- Uh, there you go.
- 935
- 00:45:42,799 --> 00:45:43,717
- What the?
- 936
- 00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:45,927
- The wood's so you
- don't misplace it.
- 937
- 00:45:46,011 --> 00:45:47,095
- Carl.
- 938
- 00:45:47,846 --> 00:45:49,723
- This is not a gas station.
- 939
- 00:45:49,806 --> 00:45:51,433
- What is wrong with you?
- 940
- 00:45:52,351 --> 00:45:53,477
- Whatever.
- 941
- 00:45:54,353 --> 00:45:56,646
- I just need to get some
- stuff from my closet.
- 942
- 00:45:57,814 --> 00:45:59,566
- Your closet?
- 943
- 00:46:01,485 --> 00:46:02,778
- Wha- what is this?
- 944
- 00:46:02,861 --> 00:46:04,905
- I mean, what is this?
- 945
- 00:46:04,988 --> 00:46:06,448
- Where's my stuff?
- 946
- 00:46:06,531 --> 00:46:07,949
- What have you done
- with my closet?
- 947
- 00:46:08,033 --> 00:46:09,826
- I made it into a panic room.
- 948
- 00:46:09,910 --> 00:46:11,703
- You can't do that, Carl.
- 949
- 00:46:11,787 --> 00:46:13,747
- Remember, this is
- not your house.
- 950
- 00:46:13,830 --> 00:46:15,582
- Did you ever see the
- Jody Foster movie?
- 951
- 00:46:15,665 --> 00:46:17,167
- And please put a shirt on.
- 952
- 00:46:18,043 --> 00:46:20,670
- I, I've been really
- nervous lately.
- 953
- 00:46:20,754 --> 00:46:23,924
- People have been ringing the
- doorbell all day asking about
- 954
- 00:46:24,007 --> 00:46:27,469
- the yard sale and then I was
- really scared when I saw the
- 955
- 00:46:27,552 --> 00:46:30,806
- video on the internet of
- you and Frank being kidnapped
- 956
- 00:46:30,889 --> 00:46:32,140
- with a shotgun.
- 957
- 00:46:32,224 --> 00:46:33,558
- There's a video on the internet?
- 958
- 00:46:33,642 --> 00:46:35,268
- Nancy, you're the
- best part of it.
- 959
- 00:46:35,352 --> 00:46:36,728
- You came across really real.
- 960
- 00:46:36,812 --> 00:46:39,606
- I was real, you dumb fuck.
- 961
- 00:46:40,774 --> 00:46:43,693
- Uh, we're locked in.
- 962
- 00:46:44,903 --> 00:46:48,156
- Did you say
- "catalytic converters?"
- 963
- 00:46:49,783 --> 00:46:52,244
- Frank, I know it's not a
- sexy business, but catalytic
- 964
- 00:46:52,327 --> 00:46:54,663
- converters are like
- mini treasure chests.
- 965
- 00:46:54,746 --> 00:46:57,791
- We snip them off the cars,
- smelt em down and sell off the
- 966
- 00:46:57,874 --> 00:46:59,000
- expensive metals.
- 967
- 00:46:59,084 --> 00:47:01,253
- Palladium, rhodium, platinum.
- 968
- 00:47:02,379 --> 00:47:04,047
- Most cases, cat cons
- are worth more than the
- 969
- 00:47:04,131 --> 00:47:05,173
- junk cars themselves.
- 970
- 00:47:06,675 --> 00:47:09,761
- You mean I would crawl
- underneath the car,
- 971
- 00:47:09,845 --> 00:47:13,056
- and snip them?
- That's the job?
- 972
- 00:47:14,975 --> 00:47:16,810
- Listen, Frank.
- I'm gonna be honest.
- 973
- 00:47:18,145 --> 00:47:20,647
- I could use the extra hand but
- I don't need the extra hand.
- 974
- 00:47:21,940 --> 00:47:24,025
- Tyler told me you needed a
- leg up, this is what I got.
- 975
- 00:47:25,152 --> 00:47:27,237
- I'm really glad you're here.
- 976
- 00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:28,822
- Me gusta.
- 977
- 00:47:29,865 --> 00:47:33,243
- Ugh, aw jeez. That was...
- 978
- 00:47:33,326 --> 00:47:34,703
- Ugh.
- 979
- 00:47:34,786 --> 00:47:36,455
- That was--
- 980
- 00:47:36,538 --> 00:47:40,667
- If you ever try anything like
- that again, I am gonna kick your
- 981
- 00:47:40,750 --> 00:47:44,296
- ass up and down this panic
- room like an air hockey puck.
- 982
- 00:47:45,297 --> 00:47:46,631
- Oh, okay.
- 983
- 00:47:50,010 --> 00:47:55,640
- Thank you virgin, for making
- Carl such a breathtaking moron.
- 984
- 00:47:57,767 --> 00:48:01,188
- You forgot about the
- attic hatch, Einstein.
- 985
- 00:48:03,023 --> 00:48:07,402
- Hey, I'm sorry about
- the misunderstanding.
- 986
- 00:48:07,486 --> 00:48:09,821
- I guess I misread your signals.
- 987
- 00:48:09,905 --> 00:48:11,239
- What signals?
- 988
- 00:48:11,323 --> 00:48:13,867
- God, your legs are so strong.
- 989
- 00:48:13,950 --> 00:48:16,411
- I guess it's from
- running track, huh?
- 990
- 00:48:16,495 --> 00:48:17,746
- I saw your medals.
- 991
- 00:48:17,829 --> 00:48:19,247
- How did you find my medals?
- 992
- 00:48:19,331 --> 00:48:20,707
- They were hidden in the garage.
- 993
- 00:48:20,790 --> 00:48:22,292
- Yeah, way back there.
- 994
- 00:48:22,375 --> 00:48:24,169
- And you should really
- hide them better.
- 995
- 00:48:24,252 --> 00:48:26,505
- You were the fastest on
- the team, but what I don't
- 996
- 00:48:26,588 --> 00:48:29,758
- understand is, in the relay,
- why did you run fourth?
- 997
- 00:48:29,841 --> 00:48:31,760
- Shouldn't the fastest
- runner go first?
- 998
- 00:48:31,843 --> 00:48:33,470
- Maybe you weren't the fastest.
- 999
- 00:48:33,553 --> 00:48:35,472
- I was the fastest.
- 1000
- 00:48:35,555 --> 00:48:37,057
- That's not the way it works.
- 1001
- 00:48:37,140 --> 00:48:39,226
- When you're the fastest, you...
- 1002
- 00:48:39,309 --> 00:48:41,728
- Oh, what am I doing,
- why am I talking to you?
- 1003
- 00:48:41,811 --> 00:48:43,271
- Please help me out.
- 1004
- 00:48:44,397 --> 00:48:46,399
- The bottom line
- is, I'm interested.
- 1005
- 00:48:46,483 --> 00:48:51,488
- And I, I work hard, and I take
- any job I do very seriously.
- 1006
- 00:48:52,489 --> 00:48:53,448
- Okay.
- 1007
- 00:48:53,532 --> 00:48:55,617
- Here comes the cold water.
- 1008
- 00:48:56,993 --> 00:48:59,246
- We can only offer you about a
- third of what you were making.
- 1009
- 00:48:59,329 --> 00:49:01,331
- Tyler told me your
- ballpark salary.
- 1010
- 00:49:01,414 --> 00:49:03,542
- You did very, very well.
- 1011
- 00:49:03,625 --> 00:49:04,668
- A third?
- 1012
- 00:49:05,877 --> 00:49:07,295
- Listen, I wish it was different.
- 1013
- 00:49:07,379 --> 00:49:09,798
- I used to make high-end five
- figures over at Brent Talbot,
- 1014
- 00:49:09,881 --> 00:49:11,216
- then the fan hit the shit.
- 1015
- 00:49:11,299 --> 00:49:14,135
- Now, I got a sales staff of guys
- longing for the days
- 1016
- 00:49:14,219 --> 00:49:17,430
- of Hugo Boss suits and
- paychecks with commas in 'em.
- 1017
- 00:49:18,682 --> 00:49:20,100
- Frank, you think I like
- crawling around in the dirt
- 1018
- 00:49:20,183 --> 00:49:21,643
- snipping smoke sacks?
- 1019
- 00:49:22,852 --> 00:49:24,688
- Shit, some days I look at one of
- those cat cons and think
- 1020
- 00:49:24,771 --> 00:49:28,483
- "I'll just wrap my lips
- around it, take a deep breath,
- 1021
- 00:49:28,567 --> 00:49:30,402
- go meet some dead relatives."
- 1022
- 00:49:30,485 --> 00:49:32,946
- How old are you? 65?
- 1023
- 00:49:34,072 --> 00:49:35,073
- 66?
- 1024
- 00:49:35,740 --> 00:49:36,575
- Anyways.
- 1025
- 00:49:36,658 --> 00:49:39,411
- Guys your age
- gotta adapt or die.
- 1026
- 00:49:40,161 --> 00:49:42,247
- That's the new America.
- Trust me.
- 1027
- 00:49:42,330 --> 00:49:44,082
- I miss the old one, brother.
- 1028
- 00:49:45,959 --> 00:49:47,502
- Uh, will you excuse me?
- 1029
- 00:49:47,586 --> 00:49:51,339
- I'm fairly positive I
- need to use the bathroom.
- 1030
- 00:49:53,008 --> 00:49:54,384
- Get your hands off my ass.
- 1031
- 00:49:54,467 --> 00:49:55,343
- You said push.
- 1032
- 00:49:55,427 --> 00:49:57,262
- I said push, not fondle.
- 1033
- 00:49:57,345 --> 00:49:58,305
- Watch the thumb.
- 1034
- 00:49:58,388 --> 00:50:00,682
- Do you do squats?
- 1035
- 00:50:00,765 --> 00:50:02,309
- It feels like you do squats.
- 1036
- 00:50:04,144 --> 00:50:05,770
- You made it.
- 1037
- 00:50:05,854 --> 00:50:07,355
- Now, lift me up.
- 1038
- 00:50:07,856 --> 00:50:09,399
- I get claustrophobic.
- 1039
- 00:50:09,482 --> 00:50:11,067
- No, no.
- 1040
- 00:50:12,110 --> 00:50:13,945
- First you have to
- tell me what you did.
- 1041
- 00:50:14,029 --> 00:50:16,364
- And no lies, no bullshit.
- 1042
- 00:50:16,448 --> 00:50:18,908
- You have to tell me, or
- I'll leave you there.
- 1043
- 00:50:18,992 --> 00:50:20,827
- You'll rot.
- And I'll just come
- 1044
- 00:50:20,910 --> 00:50:23,872
- and sprinkle some lime
- just to mask the smell.
- 1045
- 00:50:24,914 --> 00:50:25,915
- I...
- 1046
- 00:50:25,999 --> 00:50:29,252
- you might not understand.
- 1047
- 00:50:31,129 --> 00:50:32,047
- True.
- 1048
- 00:50:32,130 --> 00:50:34,174
- It's a roll of the dice.
- 1049
- 00:50:39,888 --> 00:50:42,015
- I was swimming in the ocean,
- 1050
- 00:50:42,098 --> 00:50:44,559
- I was in the water
- for a couple hours.
- 1051
- 00:50:44,643 --> 00:50:45,977
- I...
- 1052
- 00:50:46,061 --> 00:50:49,939
- I had to pee,
- I took off my shorts,
- 1053
- 00:50:50,023 --> 00:50:52,859
- then I felt something
- brush against my leg.
- 1054
- 00:50:52,942 --> 00:50:54,402
- I knew it was a shark.
- 1055
- 00:50:54,486 --> 00:50:58,365
- I knew in that moment, and I
- know to this day it was a shark,
- 1056
- 00:50:58,448 --> 00:50:59,574
- and...
- 1057
- 00:51:00,950 --> 00:51:04,454
- I started swimming to
- shore, trying not to panic.
- 1058
- 00:51:05,664 --> 00:51:09,125
- I saw that there were
- some kids swimming there.
- 1059
- 00:51:10,418 --> 00:51:14,964
- So I was carrying three of
- them, trudging and tripping
- 1060
- 00:51:15,048 --> 00:51:16,257
- and yelling for help.
- 1061
- 00:51:16,341 --> 00:51:19,219
- The kids were screaming, I
- thought they had seen the shark.
- 1062
- 00:51:19,302 --> 00:51:21,888
- They hadn't, they, um,
- 1063
- 00:51:23,098 --> 00:51:26,518
- they were frightened
- of me, a naked guy.
- 1064
- 00:51:28,269 --> 00:51:30,480
- My life...
- 1065
- 00:51:30,563 --> 00:51:33,066
- got pretty hard after that.
- 1066
- 00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:36,945
- It's true, isn't it?
- 1067
- 00:51:39,030 --> 00:51:40,240
- Yeah.
- 1068
- 00:51:41,783 --> 00:51:43,159
- It is.
- 1069
- 00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:48,957
- You say all these
- crazy stupid things.
- 1070
- 00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:52,711
- But when you suddenly say
- something without bullshit,
- 1071
- 00:51:53,795 --> 00:51:55,922
- Now I know it's true and good.
- 1072
- 00:51:56,005 --> 00:51:59,384
- But just in case, I'm gonna
- leave you there until after
- 1073
- 00:51:59,467 --> 00:52:00,260
- I take my shower.
- 1074
- 00:52:00,343 --> 00:52:02,470
- Oh, you know what,
- there's some...
- 1075
- 00:52:02,554 --> 00:52:05,390
- shampoo in my purse on
- the kitchen counter.
- 1076
- 00:52:05,473 --> 00:52:08,184
- Oh, I refilled your
- birth control pills.
- 1077
- 00:52:08,268 --> 00:52:09,769
- You were running low.
- 1078
- 00:52:09,853 --> 00:52:11,312
- Ha!
- 1079
- 00:52:14,441 --> 00:52:17,360
- No, no, no, no... No!
- 1080
- 00:52:17,444 --> 00:52:18,528
- No! No!
- 1081
- 00:52:42,677 --> 00:52:44,763
- All you perverts
- out there watching,
- 1082
- 00:52:44,846 --> 00:52:46,681
- this might happen to you.
- 1083
- 00:52:48,975 --> 00:52:50,477
- You might die!
- 1084
- 00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:51,811
- What the?
- 1085
- 00:52:51,895 --> 00:52:53,855
- Holy shit, it's him.
- The guy from the video!
- 1086
- 00:52:53,938 --> 00:52:55,106
- No, this is a mistake.
- 1087
- 00:52:55,190 --> 00:52:56,524
- Die!
- 1088
- 00:52:56,608 --> 00:52:58,151
- Dude, you're like the No. 1
- 1089
- 00:52:58,234 --> 00:52:59,778
- trending pervert on
- the internet right now.
- 1090
- 00:52:59,861 --> 00:53:01,946
- My god, why is this happening?
- 1091
- 00:53:17,670 --> 00:53:18,755
- Stop the truck, Wayne.
- 1092
- 00:53:18,838 --> 00:53:20,048
- Shit, you again?
- 1093
- 00:53:20,131 --> 00:53:21,508
- You have my furniture.
- 1094
- 00:53:21,591 --> 00:53:24,260
- Oh, it's not yours, that house
- wasn't yours, and the furniture
- 1095
- 00:53:24,344 --> 00:53:25,595
- definitely wasn't yours.
- 1096
- 00:53:25,678 --> 00:53:27,430
- Pull over, Wayne, I
- need that furniture.
- 1097
- 00:53:27,514 --> 00:53:29,098
- You know what you're gonna need?
- You're going to need to
- 1098
- 00:53:29,182 --> 00:53:31,392
- go to a fucking hospital,
- that's what you're gonna need.
- 1099
- 00:53:31,476 --> 00:53:32,811
- I'm gonna put you
- in jail, Wayne.
- 1100
- 00:53:32,894 --> 00:53:35,063
- Oh, you don't have the
- balls to call the cops.
- 1101
- 00:53:35,146 --> 00:53:37,607
- You suck at this crime stuff.
- 1102
- 00:53:37,690 --> 00:53:39,025
- You know what I'm gonna do?
- 1103
- 00:53:39,108 --> 00:53:39,984
- You ain't gonna do shit.
- 1104
- 00:53:40,068 --> 00:53:41,945
- Wayne, I'm gonna
- throw a rock at you.
- 1105
- 00:53:42,028 --> 00:53:43,279
- I pitched in college.
- 1106
- 00:53:43,363 --> 00:53:45,949
- You probably caught in college.
- Dickhead.
- 1107
- 00:53:48,243 --> 00:53:49,327
- Oh shit...
- 1108
- 00:53:49,410 --> 00:53:51,746
- Son of a bitch.
- 1109
- 00:53:57,335 --> 00:53:58,711
- Holy shit,
- are you okay?
- 1110
- 00:53:58,795 --> 00:54:00,713
- You hit a fucking pedestrian.
- 1111
- 00:54:06,386 --> 00:54:07,470
- Sorry, Wayne.
- 1112
- 00:54:08,972 --> 00:54:11,391
- Hey! Hey!
- 1113
- 00:54:11,766 --> 00:54:13,935
- Get back here, you asshole!
- 1114
- 00:54:24,654 --> 00:54:26,489
- What fresh hell is this?
- 1115
- 00:54:27,740 --> 00:54:28,867
- Dios mio!
- 1116
- 00:54:28,950 --> 00:54:30,410
- No, no, no, I didn't...
- 1117
- 00:54:30,910 --> 00:54:32,620
- Ohm...
- 1118
- 00:54:39,878 --> 00:54:42,046
- Ommmm.
- 1119
- 00:54:47,260 --> 00:54:49,679
- Shit, shit.
- Now what?
- 1120
- 00:55:03,067 --> 00:55:04,652
- - Frank!
- - Shit!
- 1121
- 00:55:04,736 --> 00:55:06,070
- Panic room! Car gone!
- 1122
- 00:55:06,154 --> 00:55:07,363
- Keep walking, the cops.
- 1123
- 00:55:07,447 --> 00:55:08,865
- Found Nigel's stuff,
- don't look over.
- 1124
- 00:55:08,948 --> 00:55:10,366
- It's in the back of the truck.
- Don't look over.
- 1125
- 00:55:10,450 --> 00:55:11,534
- Excuse me.
- 1126
- 00:55:12,911 --> 00:55:15,288
- Hi. Are you
- Mr. Bathgate's neighbours?
- 1127
- 00:55:15,830 --> 00:55:17,165
- Yes, officer.
- 1128
- 00:55:17,248 --> 00:55:19,709
- Yeah, we got a report of
- a burglary at his house,
- 1129
- 00:55:19,792 --> 00:55:22,420
- suspicious activity.
- Have you seen anything?
- 1130
- 00:55:22,503 --> 00:55:25,131
- A burglary?
- What, at Nigel's house?
- 1131
- 00:55:26,090 --> 00:55:27,467
- Good sweet Christ,
- 1132
- 00:55:27,550 --> 00:55:30,345
- what is happening to our
- sweet little neighbourhood?
- 1133
- 00:55:30,428 --> 00:55:32,430
- Uh, are you okay sir?
- 1134
- 00:55:32,513 --> 00:55:33,806
- No.
- 1135
- 00:55:33,890 --> 00:55:37,352
- I'm devastated beyond reason.
- 1136
- 00:55:42,649 --> 00:55:43,900
- Sweet Christ.
- 1137
- 00:55:44,943 --> 00:55:46,778
- You know, I wasn't into that.
- 1138
- 00:55:46,861 --> 00:55:48,404
- Never?
- 1139
- 00:55:48,947 --> 00:55:50,239
- Not really.
- 1140
- 00:55:51,240 --> 00:55:52,951
- Not even in a school
- play or anything?
- 1141
- 00:55:53,034 --> 00:55:54,369
- Yeah, I was never into drama.
- 1142
- 00:55:54,452 --> 00:55:56,996
- I mean, sure, in the third
- grade I played a teacup.
- 1143
- 00:55:57,080 --> 00:56:00,208
- Why all the questions
- about acting?
- 1144
- 00:56:00,291 --> 00:56:02,293
- You think I came across as fake?
- 1145
- 00:56:02,377 --> 00:56:04,420
- I think there's better acting
- every time Larry King says
- 1146
- 00:56:04,504 --> 00:56:06,923
- - "til death do us part."
- - That's very funny.
- 1147
- 00:56:07,006 --> 00:56:08,633
- You wanna hear something
- else that's funny?
- 1148
- 00:56:08,716 --> 00:56:10,927
- There's a video of us getting
- kidnapped on YouTube.
- 1149
- 00:56:11,010 --> 00:56:12,303
- I know.
- 1150
- 00:56:19,519 --> 00:56:22,230
- You don't know how many times
- I've fantasized about getting
- 1151
- 00:56:22,313 --> 00:56:25,858
- rid of you for at least two
- months, but now that I'm going
- 1152
- 00:56:25,942 --> 00:56:29,946
- to yail, I'm going to be
- devastated without you.
- 1153
- 00:56:30,780 --> 00:56:32,198
- You're going back to college?
- 1154
- 00:56:32,281 --> 00:56:35,994
- You know that when I say
- "yail" I mean prison.
- 1155
- 00:56:42,041 --> 00:56:46,045
- Using his mother's house, and by
- that I mean his mother's garage.
- 1156
- 00:56:47,463 --> 00:56:50,466
- I'm sure Jason's home, rubbing
- his mother's feet or something.
- 1157
- 00:56:50,550 --> 00:56:52,218
- We know you're in there, Jason.
- 1158
- 00:56:57,348 --> 00:56:58,558
- Hi.
- 1159
- 00:56:58,641 --> 00:57:01,769
- Oh, hey, hi Mr. and
- Mrs. Teagarten. Is that...
- 1160
- 00:57:01,853 --> 00:57:03,271
- actually, I wasn't hiding.
- 1161
- 00:57:03,354 --> 00:57:04,564
- Is everything okay?
- 1162
- 00:57:04,647 --> 00:57:05,732
- Why wouldn't it be, Jason?
- 1163
- 00:57:05,815 --> 00:57:07,483
- It's just that you've
- never been to my house
- 1164
- 00:57:07,567 --> 00:57:10,111
- before in like two years
- and it's what, 10:00 PM?
- 1165
- 00:57:10,194 --> 00:57:12,989
- Actually, it isn't
- okay, and you can help.
- 1166
- 00:57:13,072 --> 00:57:14,782
- Rachel's always saying
- that you're some kind
- 1167
- 00:57:14,866 --> 00:57:15,992
- of computer genius.
- 1168
- 00:57:16,075 --> 00:57:17,827
- She says I'm a computer genius?
- 1169
- 00:57:17,910 --> 00:57:19,287
- That's very sweet.
- 1170
- 00:57:19,370 --> 00:57:21,122
- I'm sure it was like a
- throwaway, like an aside,
- 1171
- 00:57:21,205 --> 00:57:22,331
- you know, "he's
- a computer genius"
- 1172
- 00:57:22,415 --> 00:57:23,708
- you know, just like saying...
- 1173
- 00:57:23,791 --> 00:57:25,543
- Oh, you know what, I bet it's
- cause she knows it's on my dream
- 1174
- 00:57:25,626 --> 00:57:27,712
- boards to become a computer
- genius. I bet that's where that
- 1175
- 00:57:27,795 --> 00:57:29,505
- came from. Did she actually
- say that, like in an email,
- 1176
- 00:57:29,589 --> 00:57:30,757
- or was it in
- person to you just...
- 1177
- 00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:32,550
- Jason!
- This isn't about you!
- 1178
- 00:57:32,633 --> 00:57:35,219
- We need your help with
- a video of me and Nancy.
- 1179
- 00:57:37,346 --> 00:57:38,306
- Okay.
- 1180
- 00:57:38,389 --> 00:57:42,685
- So you want me to make
- a video of you guys?
- 1181
- 00:57:43,978 --> 00:57:44,812
- No.
- 1182
- 00:57:44,896 --> 00:57:46,230
- Get your mind
- out of the gutter!
- 1183
- 00:57:46,314 --> 00:57:48,316
- Good lord Jason,
- you take the cake.
- 1184
- 00:57:50,693 --> 00:57:53,071
- It's so much more
- fucked up than that.
- 1185
- 00:57:53,154 --> 00:57:55,364
- Die!!
- 1186
- 00:57:55,448 --> 00:57:57,700
- Look at this.
- This is insane.
- 1187
- 00:57:57,784 --> 00:57:59,202
- When did this happen?
- 1188
- 00:57:59,285 --> 00:58:01,204
- It feels like in
- another lifetime.
- 1189
- 00:58:01,287 --> 00:58:03,081
- Yet also like Tuesday.
- 1190
- 00:58:03,164 --> 00:58:04,707
- Okay, well, we have
- to call the police.
- 1191
- 00:58:04,791 --> 00:58:06,042
- No, no. No police.
- 1192
- 00:58:06,125 --> 00:58:08,086
- It was a misunderstanding
- but everything's okay now.
- 1193
- 00:58:08,169 --> 00:58:09,670
- It was a hiccup.
- 1194
- 00:58:09,754 --> 00:58:11,798
- A hiccup?
- You being kidnapped?
- 1195
- 00:58:11,881 --> 00:58:14,092
- A hiccup.
- It was a hiccup. A hiccup.
- 1196
- 00:58:14,175 --> 00:58:16,427
- You don't call 911 every time
- you have the hiccups do you, no.
- 1197
- 00:58:16,511 --> 00:58:17,929
- I mean, maybe you
- do, but I don't.
- 1198
- 00:58:18,012 --> 00:58:19,347
- Listen, Jason.
- 1199
- 00:58:19,430 --> 00:58:21,849
- We don't want
- Rachel to see this.
- 1200
- 00:58:21,933 --> 00:58:23,351
- She would only worry.
- 1201
- 00:58:23,434 --> 00:58:26,145
- That's why we must
- take this down.
- 1202
- 00:58:26,229 --> 00:58:28,022
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Shouldn't be a problem.
- 1203
- 00:58:28,106 --> 00:58:29,816
- Although, these guys
- should be punished though,
- 1204
- 00:58:29,899 --> 00:58:32,652
- cause they cannot do that.
- Especially to you guys. I mean-
- 1205
- 00:58:34,987 --> 00:58:36,656
- Oh my god, okay, that's actually
- Rachel Skyping me right now.
- 1206
- 00:58:36,739 --> 00:58:37,698
- We're not here.
- 1207
- 00:58:37,782 --> 00:58:38,908
- She'll know there's
- something wrong.
- 1208
- 00:58:38,991 --> 00:58:40,743
- We would only be here with
- you if we were desperate.
- 1209
- 00:58:40,827 --> 00:58:43,538
- No, no, I want to see her
- little face, even if it's for
- 1210
- 00:58:43,621 --> 00:58:46,666
- just a second. We can hide,
- she won't know we're here,
- 1211
- 00:58:46,749 --> 00:58:47,708
- please, please, please.
- 1212
- 00:58:47,792 --> 00:58:48,543
- All right, go ahead.
- 1213
- 00:58:48,626 --> 00:58:50,169
- Really? Okay.
- 1214
- 00:58:52,296 --> 00:58:53,840
- Yo, hey Rach.
- What's up?
- 1215
- 00:58:53,923 --> 00:58:55,550
- I can only talk
- for a few minutes.
- 1216
- 00:58:55,633 --> 00:58:59,720
- Jessie is a great roommate, but
- she's throwing her third party
- 1217
- 00:58:59,804 --> 00:59:01,222
- in four days, and she's...
- 1218
- 00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:03,891
- Jason?
- 1219
- 00:59:03,975 --> 00:59:05,309
- Are you okay?
- 1220
- 00:59:05,393 --> 00:59:06,853
- What? I'm fine.
- 1221
- 00:59:06,936 --> 00:59:08,855
- That's... how about you?
- 1222
- 00:59:08,938 --> 00:59:11,482
- Well, actually,
- I'm a little worried.
- 1223
- 00:59:11,566 --> 00:59:13,985
- My mom called, and
- I tried calling her back,
- 1224
- 00:59:14,068 --> 00:59:15,194
- and she's not picking up.
- 1225
- 00:59:15,278 --> 00:59:17,738
- Oh, uh,
- that's, you know.
- 1226
- 00:59:17,822 --> 00:59:20,658
- It's her, cause her phone,
- it's um, her phone is broken.
- 1227
- 00:59:20,741 --> 00:59:22,076
- You saw her?
- 1228
- 00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:23,536
- Yeah, they had a
- yard sale yesterday.
- 1229
- 00:59:23,619 --> 00:59:25,037
- A yard sale?
- 1230
- 00:59:25,121 --> 00:59:27,206
- No, that's.. I'm sorry,
- "yard sale," what's...
- 1231
- 00:59:27,290 --> 00:59:29,250
- no, they were, cause they
- were in the yard, so...
- 1232
- 00:59:29,333 --> 00:59:30,918
- I ran into them cause
- I took a shortcut.
- 1233
- 00:59:31,002 --> 00:59:34,630
- Um, to, to go to work at
- Staples, where I am the
- 1234
- 00:59:34,714 --> 00:59:35,923
- assistant manager.
- 1235
- 00:59:36,007 --> 00:59:38,926
- This is weird.
- Mom always calls me right back.
- 1236
- 00:59:39,010 --> 00:59:40,136
- This isn't like her.
- 1237
- 00:59:40,219 --> 00:59:44,682
- Well, it could be 'cause
- she's singing and dancing,
- 1238
- 00:59:44,765 --> 00:59:46,100
- and also blowing someone.
- 1239
- 00:59:46,184 --> 00:59:48,186
- Uh, her birthday. Isn't
- it her birthday pretty soon?
- 1240
- 00:59:48,269 --> 00:59:50,855
- Oh of course, poor mom.
- 1241
- 00:59:51,814 --> 00:59:55,276
- Jason, I should surprise her.
- 1242
- 00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:58,321
- I'll come home for her
- birthday, she'll love that.
- 1243
- 00:59:58,404 --> 00:59:59,614
- Yeah, yeah, they both would.
- 1244
- 00:59:59,697 --> 01:00:00,823
- Yeah, they would both
- love that for sure.
- 1245
- 01:00:00,907 --> 01:00:01,824
- You should come on down.
- 1246
- 01:00:01,908 --> 01:00:03,159
- I'll try dad, he'll love it.
- 1247
- 01:00:03,242 --> 01:00:05,703
- I'll get tulips, tulips are her
- favourite flowers, and I'll
- 1248
- 01:00:05,786 --> 01:00:08,456
- invite all her sisters, and
- everyone will be there...
- 1249
- 01:00:14,420 --> 01:00:15,796
- That's funny, you hear that?
- 1250
- 01:00:17,006 --> 01:00:19,133
- It's my dad's ringtone.
- 1251
- 01:00:22,511 --> 01:00:24,013
- Okay, you know what, Rachel?
- 1252
- 01:00:24,096 --> 01:00:25,556
- I really gotta
- tell you something.
- 1253
- 01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:26,682
- Actually, your parents...
- 1254
- 01:00:29,227 --> 01:00:32,521
- Jason, you really are a little
- quisling, you know that?
- 1255
- 01:00:32,605 --> 01:00:34,982
- Okay, he was from Norway.
- 1256
- 01:00:35,066 --> 01:00:37,693
- I felt terrible
- lying to Rachel.
- 1257
- 01:00:37,777 --> 01:00:40,238
- I understand, because you never
- know when the lies are going to
- 1258
- 01:00:40,321 --> 01:00:43,824
- stop and they just keep coming.
- Pushing you out of the way,
- 1259
- 01:00:43,908 --> 01:00:46,786
- taking over
- your life completely.
- 1260
- 01:00:46,869 --> 01:00:49,830
- What a beautiful street.
- 1261
- 01:00:49,914 --> 01:00:51,207
- Do you have raccoons?
- 1262
- 01:00:51,290 --> 01:00:53,501
- Yeah, sporadically.
- 1263
- 01:00:53,584 --> 01:00:54,627
- I love them.
- 1264
- 01:00:54,710 --> 01:00:55,920
- Is that your guy's moving truck?
- 1265
- 01:00:56,003 --> 01:00:58,923
- No. Well, yes, we're just
- trying to sell a few things.
- 1266
- 01:00:59,006 --> 01:01:00,675
- From the back of a truck?
- 1267
- 01:01:00,758 --> 01:01:02,969
- Eh, we're trying to
- finish off our yard sale.
- 1268
- 01:01:03,052 --> 01:01:05,388
- For the truck and the computer,
- using that, uh, Skype thing.
- 1269
- 01:01:05,471 --> 01:01:06,389
- Anyhow.
- 1270
- 01:01:06,472 --> 01:01:07,890
- You mean like a
- virtual yard sale?
- 1271
- 01:01:07,974 --> 01:01:10,685
- Wow, did you come up with
- that idea, Mr. Teagarten?
- 1272
- 01:01:10,768 --> 01:01:11,978
- What? Uh, yeah, sure.
- 1273
- 01:01:12,061 --> 01:01:13,062
- Anyway, thanks for
- your help and...
- 1274
- 01:01:13,145 --> 01:01:14,438
- That's genius!
- Do you see the potential?
- 1275
- 01:01:14,522 --> 01:01:16,357
- Not one iota.
- We gotta run now.
- 1276
- 01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:19,068
- Wait, Mr. and Mrs. Teagarten,
- I think there's something
- 1277
- 01:01:19,151 --> 01:01:20,069
- I need to show you.
- 1278
- 01:01:20,152 --> 01:01:22,280
- For the love of Christ,
- Jason, what is it?
- 1279
- 01:01:27,743 --> 01:01:30,079
- So the park was actually
- built in the '50s, it kind of
- 1280
- 01:01:30,162 --> 01:01:33,833
- fell on hard times, was vacant
- for a while, so some friends
- 1281
- 01:01:33,916 --> 01:01:36,919
- and I we pooled our money and
- bought it, and we spent the
- 1282
- 01:01:37,003 --> 01:01:38,963
- last two years
- just fixing it up.
- 1283
- 01:01:39,046 --> 01:01:41,048
- Jason, this is amazing.
- 1284
- 01:01:41,132 --> 01:01:42,341
- Thank you.
- 1285
- 01:01:44,927 --> 01:01:46,387
- This is what I
- wanted to show you.
- 1286
- 01:01:46,470 --> 01:01:49,223
- All of our trailer homes have a
- storage space, because people
- 1287
- 01:01:49,307 --> 01:01:51,642
- are downsizing from
- like 3500 square feet.
- 1288
- 01:01:51,726 --> 01:01:54,603
- These days I guess it's
- like that everywhere.
- 1289
- 01:01:54,687 --> 01:01:57,064
- So this is where your
- virtual yard sale comes in.
- 1290
- 01:01:57,148 --> 01:02:01,110
- You can upload streaming video
- and people can browse it,
- 1291
- 01:02:01,193 --> 01:02:02,486
- like in real time.
- 1292
- 01:02:02,570 --> 01:02:05,740
- So you've got almost a live yard
- sale, but you're bidding like
- 1293
- 01:02:05,823 --> 01:02:09,785
- eBay online, so you call
- it something like YardBay.
- 1294
- 01:02:11,245 --> 01:02:14,123
- I'm sure you've thought all this
- through, but I'd love to help,
- 1295
- 01:02:14,206 --> 01:02:15,875
- I can computer
- code it all for you.
- 1296
- 01:02:19,003 --> 01:02:19,962
- Hello?
- 1297
- 01:02:21,172 --> 01:02:22,298
- No, Mr. Teagarten no here.
- 1298
- 01:02:22,381 --> 01:02:23,966
- Call back later.
- 1299
- 01:02:25,301 --> 01:02:28,179
- He in the shower now, washing
- his body with shampoo and honey.
- 1300
- 01:02:29,180 --> 01:02:30,806
- He have a shingles.
- 1301
- 01:02:34,143 --> 01:02:36,520
- That was an old fraternity
- buddy of mine, Clyde Drexler.
- 1302
- 01:02:37,355 --> 01:02:38,814
- I mean, he's a fan
- of Clyde Drexler.
- 1303
- 01:02:38,898 --> 01:02:39,523
- Mm-hmm.
- 1304
- 01:02:39,607 --> 01:02:40,608
- Trailblazers.
- 1305
- 01:02:40,691 --> 01:02:43,277
- Um, anyway, uh, thanks
- for the tour Jason.
- 1306
- 01:02:43,361 --> 01:02:45,446
- This was impressive.
- Mobile homes and crap.
- 1307
- 01:02:45,529 --> 01:02:47,907
- I'm sorry, that
- sounded patronizing.
- 1308
- 01:02:47,990 --> 01:02:49,950
- Food for thought.
- 1309
- 01:02:50,034 --> 01:02:51,452
- Thanks for your
- help with the video.
- 1310
- 01:02:51,535 --> 01:02:52,745
- Anytime.
- 1311
- 01:02:57,249 --> 01:02:58,918
- Boy,
- Jason sure can talk.
- 1312
- 01:03:00,044 --> 01:03:01,337
- Okay, I better call Randall
- and tell him I'll take that
- 1313
- 01:03:01,420 --> 01:03:03,214
- catalytic converter job.
- 1314
- 01:03:04,632 --> 01:03:07,009
- Okay, I'm
- gonna go get a Baby Ruth.
- 1315
- 01:03:08,594 --> 01:03:10,262
- A Baby Ruth?
- 1316
- 01:03:17,103 --> 01:03:18,104
- Shit.
- 1317
- 01:03:22,525 --> 01:03:23,609
- Excuse me.
- 1318
- 01:03:24,235 --> 01:03:25,653
- Hey, I'm sorry to bother ya.
- 1319
- 01:03:25,736 --> 01:03:28,614
- Do you have any change, or
- better yet, do you mind if I use
- 1320
- 01:03:28,697 --> 01:03:30,741
- your cell phone, it's
- kind of an emergency.
- 1321
- 01:03:30,825 --> 01:03:32,618
- A Baby Ruth candy bar.
- 1322
- 01:03:32,701 --> 01:03:34,537
- Oh, Baby Ruth.
- 1323
- 01:03:34,620 --> 01:03:36,372
- I thought you said Zagnut.
- 1324
- 01:03:36,455 --> 01:03:37,623
- Uh, do you have one?
- 1325
- 01:03:37,706 --> 01:03:39,166
- Yeah, let me check in the back.
- 1326
- 01:03:39,250 --> 01:03:41,001
- I'll take two if you have em.
- 1327
- 01:03:42,878 --> 01:03:43,796
- Buddy, cool off.
- 1328
- 01:03:43,879 --> 01:03:46,006
- I'm not trying to cause
- any problems here.
- 1329
- 01:03:46,090 --> 01:03:49,510
- You act like you got 50 kilos
- back there or something.
- 1330
- 01:03:49,593 --> 01:03:52,179
- Oh, by the way, how much are...
- What? What?
- 1331
- 01:03:52,263 --> 01:03:54,682
- Frank? Frank! Frank!
- 1332
- 01:04:02,648 --> 01:04:05,568
- I found the
- king size, is that okay?
- 1333
- 01:04:09,530 --> 01:04:12,283
- Hello? King size okay?
- 1334
- 01:04:14,118 --> 01:04:17,037
- You try that
- again, motherfucker?
- 1335
- 01:04:17,121 --> 01:04:18,873
- I'm gonna bust
- your fucking head open.
- 1336
- 01:04:22,668 --> 01:04:24,462
- Everybody put your
- hands where I can see em!
- 1337
- 01:04:24,545 --> 01:04:25,588
- On the ground!
- 1338
- 01:04:25,671 --> 01:04:27,298
- Get on the ground now!
- 1339
- 01:04:36,932 --> 01:04:38,267
- Jackpot.
- 1340
- 01:04:44,982 --> 01:04:46,901
- Turns out it was 120 kilos.
- 1341
- 01:04:47,359 --> 01:04:49,612
- Teagarten.
- Frank Teagarten.
- 1342
- 01:04:53,240 --> 01:04:54,867
- FBI wants to talk to you.
- Come on.
- 1343
- 01:04:54,950 --> 01:04:56,869
- The FBI wants to talk to me?
- Why?
- 1344
- 01:04:57,828 --> 01:04:59,205
- They think you're good lookin'.
- Come on.
- 1345
- 01:05:02,208 --> 01:05:03,167
- Not you.
- 1346
- 01:05:14,053 --> 01:05:15,095
- Are you okay?
- 1347
- 01:05:17,806 --> 01:05:20,100
- It seems to me you're
- as scared as I am.
- 1348
- 01:05:21,352 --> 01:05:23,145
- I'm not scared for myself.
- 1349
- 01:05:25,940 --> 01:05:27,274
- For my daughter.
- 1350
- 01:05:28,442 --> 01:05:29,818
- We're done talkin'.
- 1351
- 01:05:35,783 --> 01:05:37,535
- I have a daughter, too.
- 1352
- 01:05:38,661 --> 01:05:41,497
- Our biggest fear in life
- was to disappoint her.
- 1353
- 01:05:43,832 --> 01:05:47,878
- I'm so ashamed and
- worried, and...
- 1354
- 01:05:47,962 --> 01:05:50,172
- Don't be bitching
- to me about your rich life
- 1355
- 01:05:50,256 --> 01:05:52,007
- and your spoiled brat daughter.
- 1356
- 01:05:52,091 --> 01:05:53,676
- You know, you're gonna be out
- of here in a minute,
- 1357
- 01:05:53,759 --> 01:05:55,427
- and she'll have her mommy back.
- 1358
- 01:05:55,511 --> 01:05:58,973
- But now thanks to you, I'm stuck
- in here for god knows how long.
- 1359
- 01:05:59,056 --> 01:06:00,391
- Yeah.
- 1360
- 01:06:00,474 --> 01:06:06,063
- I will get out, but I will still
- be a good-for-nothing fuckup.
- 1361
- 01:06:07,481 --> 01:06:10,317
- And that might not mean a lot to
- you, since it looks like you've
- 1362
- 01:06:10,401 --> 01:06:15,447
- been a fuckup for a while, but
- we only fucked up for one week.
- 1363
- 01:06:15,531 --> 01:06:20,202
- One week, is all it took
- for us to ruin her life.
- 1364
- 01:06:20,286 --> 01:06:23,831
- She's only 19, and now she's...
- 1365
- 01:06:23,914 --> 01:06:24,999
- Are you kidding me?
- 1366
- 01:06:25,082 --> 01:06:26,834
- Your daughter's 19.
- 1367
- 01:06:26,917 --> 01:06:28,294
- She's supposed to be
- taking care of herself.
- 1368
- 01:06:29,128 --> 01:06:32,631
- My Rose, she's only 7.
- 1369
- 01:06:34,091 --> 01:06:37,761
- And now, she's all
- alone in the world.
- 1370
- 01:06:38,596 --> 01:06:39,847
- She's got nobody.
- 1371
- 01:06:43,976 --> 01:06:48,230
- Woman, you have no
- idea what shame is.
- 1372
- 01:06:49,440 --> 01:06:50,816
- Shit.
- 1373
- 01:06:50,899 --> 01:06:52,651
- You win.
- 1374
- 01:06:55,487 --> 01:06:56,905
- Hey, Frank.
- 1375
- 01:06:56,989 --> 01:06:58,866
- I'm special agent Milhouse.
- 1376
- 01:06:58,949 --> 01:07:01,285
- This is special agent Barnes.
- 1377
- 01:07:01,368 --> 01:07:02,536
- Weird night, huh?
- 1378
- 01:07:02,620 --> 01:07:03,704
- - Yeah.
- - God.
- 1379
- 01:07:03,787 --> 01:07:06,790
- 120 kilos of Norteno Cocaine.
- 1380
- 01:07:06,874 --> 01:07:08,375
- A hell of a bust.
- 1381
- 01:07:08,459 --> 01:07:09,543
- Yeah.
- 1382
- 01:07:09,627 --> 01:07:12,588
- You know that we had nothing
- to do with this, right?
- 1383
- 01:07:12,671 --> 01:07:16,050
- Oh, so you think that
- we just send out our whole
- 1384
- 01:07:16,133 --> 01:07:17,926
- field office just for fun.
- 1385
- 01:07:18,844 --> 01:07:20,054
- This is what we know.
- 1386
- 01:07:20,137 --> 01:07:22,389
- We've been tailing Chope for
- three days, since he entered
- 1387
- 01:07:22,473 --> 01:07:23,807
- the United States.
- 1388
- 01:07:23,891 --> 01:07:26,393
- Next thing we know, the three
- of you are in a Kwik-E-Mart
- 1389
- 01:07:26,477 --> 01:07:29,563
- parking lot free for all, so I
- think we've got a problem here,
- 1390
- 01:07:29,647 --> 01:07:30,981
- don't you?
- 1391
- 01:07:31,065 --> 01:07:32,608
- Frank, if you want to get out
- of here tonight, you've got to
- 1392
- 01:07:32,691 --> 01:07:34,902
- convince us you're not
- some big rich drug lord.
- 1393
- 01:07:34,985 --> 01:07:36,445
- Like, for real.
- 1394
- 01:07:38,572 --> 01:07:40,991
- Hello?
- Mr. Teagarten no home, his phone
- 1395
- 01:07:41,075 --> 01:07:44,453
- went through a snow blower,
- and he chop his head right off.
- 1396
- 01:07:49,875 --> 01:07:52,419
- I guess owing 300
- bucks to Mastercard helped
- 1397
- 01:07:52,503 --> 01:07:55,547
- convince them we aren't
- Mr. and Mrs. El Chapo.
- 1398
- 01:07:55,631 --> 01:07:58,550
- I can't help thinking
- about that little girl.
- 1399
- 01:07:58,634 --> 01:08:00,010
- Nancy, what are you gonna do?
- 1400
- 01:08:00,094 --> 01:08:02,971
- Have her come live with us in
- this fucking Perri Winkle truck?
- 1401
- 01:08:06,225 --> 01:08:07,726
- God, this day sucked.
- 1402
- 01:08:09,687 --> 01:08:12,690
- Carl, he found my medals.
- 1403
- 01:08:13,524 --> 01:08:14,566
- How did he find them?
- 1404
- 01:08:14,650 --> 01:08:16,026
- He's a sneaky motherfucker.
- 1405
- 01:08:16,110 --> 01:08:20,572
- But those medals made me
- remember that I used to win.
- 1406
- 01:08:21,699 --> 01:08:23,409
- I used to have an edge.
- 1407
- 01:08:24,702 --> 01:08:27,955
- This week, I've cried more
- than I have ever cried before,
- 1408
- 01:08:29,164 --> 01:08:31,375
- and for things that I
- would have never cried about
- 1409
- 01:08:31,458 --> 01:08:32,918
- in the old days.
- 1410
- 01:08:34,712 --> 01:08:38,799
- It's like I've become
- this person I don't know,
- 1411
- 01:08:38,882 --> 01:08:40,134
- and I don't like.
- 1412
- 01:08:41,301 --> 01:08:42,511
- Where is this headed?
- 1413
- 01:08:45,097 --> 01:08:46,890
- We need to talk to Dan.
- 1414
- 01:08:46,974 --> 01:08:48,350
- Why, and beg for money?
- 1415
- 01:08:48,434 --> 01:08:49,476
- That's not getting
- your edge back.
- 1416
- 01:08:49,560 --> 01:08:51,145
- That's surrendering,
- not winning.
- 1417
- 01:08:51,228 --> 01:08:53,814
- Guys like Dan, they take
- advantage of weakness.
- 1418
- 01:08:55,816 --> 01:08:57,317
- I'll figure it out.
- 1419
- 01:08:59,069 --> 01:09:00,320
- I think.
- 1420
- 01:09:01,947 --> 01:09:05,284
- I bet Rachel used to take
- one of those buses to school.
- 1421
- 01:09:06,577 --> 01:09:09,246
- Long ago, back in the time
- when she used to look up to me
- 1422
- 01:09:09,329 --> 01:09:10,998
- like I was Superman.
- 1423
- 01:09:13,917 --> 01:09:15,878
- Oh, Frank.
- 1424
- 01:09:20,424 --> 01:09:21,967
- You crying?
- 1425
- 01:09:23,594 --> 01:09:26,430
- You were crying.
- What a pussy.
- 1426
- 01:09:26,513 --> 01:09:27,806
- No, I'm not crying.
- 1427
- 01:09:27,890 --> 01:09:31,018
- But if I was, it's
- because good god.
- 1428
- 01:09:31,101 --> 01:09:32,394
- It's because the
- two of you reek.
- 1429
- 01:09:32,478 --> 01:09:33,896
- Fuck you.
- 1430
- 01:09:33,979 --> 01:09:35,981
- Hey, you got 10 bucks?
- For gas?
- 1431
- 01:09:36,064 --> 01:09:38,609
- Wow, what timing you have, bum.
- 1432
- 01:09:38,692 --> 01:09:40,444
- No, actually, we don't
- have 10 bucks for gas.
- 1433
- 01:09:40,527 --> 01:09:41,904
- Liar.
- 1434
- 01:09:41,987 --> 01:09:43,697
- That's some high-end furniture
- you got there, rich asshole.
- 1435
- 01:09:43,781 --> 01:09:44,948
- Rich?
- 1436
- 01:09:45,032 --> 01:09:47,409
- You have completely misread
- our situation, my man.
- 1437
- 01:09:47,493 --> 01:09:49,369
- Oh, woah, woah.
- I'm not your man.
- 1438
- 01:09:49,453 --> 01:09:51,455
- He's not your man, fish face.
- 1439
- 01:09:52,873 --> 01:09:55,000
- I don't think anybody's ever
- called me fish face before.
- 1440
- 01:09:55,083 --> 01:09:56,460
- Good.
- 1441
- 01:09:56,543 --> 01:09:58,378
- You believe this pile of
- fish face, calling me "his man?"
- 1442
- 01:09:58,462 --> 01:10:01,381
- I'm not your man, so fuck you.
- 1443
- 01:10:01,465 --> 01:10:04,551
- No, no. It's, uh,
- it's more like fuck you.
- 1444
- 01:10:04,635 --> 01:10:06,887
- I'm sorry, you're not
- understanding what we're saying.
- 1445
- 01:10:06,970 --> 01:10:08,222
- Fuck you.
- 1446
- 01:10:08,305 --> 01:10:09,306
- What's your name?
- 1447
- 01:10:09,389 --> 01:10:10,140
- Will.
- 1448
- 01:10:10,224 --> 01:10:11,058
- What's your name?
- 1449
- 01:10:11,141 --> 01:10:12,309
- Colin.
- 1450
- 01:10:12,392 --> 01:10:14,228
- Will, Collin.
- 1451
- 01:10:15,103 --> 01:10:16,396
- Fuck you.
- 1452
- 01:10:17,856 --> 01:10:19,107
- Fish face.
- 1453
- 01:10:24,530 --> 01:10:25,614
- So?
- 1454
- 01:10:25,697 --> 01:10:27,241
- How long do we sit here for?
- 1455
- 01:10:27,324 --> 01:10:28,534
- I'm not sure.
- 1456
- 01:10:29,493 --> 01:10:31,745
- Hey. What are
- you doing out there?
- 1457
- 01:10:33,872 --> 01:10:35,207
- So, what do we got here?
- 1458
- 01:10:36,208 --> 01:10:37,417
- Where's the other bum?
- 1459
- 01:10:37,501 --> 01:10:38,418
- Maui.
- 1460
- 01:10:38,502 --> 01:10:39,711
- I could buy a couple of things.
- 1461
- 01:10:39,795 --> 01:10:41,713
- Woah, woah, woah, you think
- this is some kind of a store?
- 1462
- 01:10:41,797 --> 01:10:43,507
- What else would
- you be doing here?
- 1463
- 01:10:43,590 --> 01:10:46,009
- Well, actually, it's kind
- of a- an incredible story.
- 1464
- 01:10:46,093 --> 01:10:47,761
- - Nancy!
- - How much for the paint?
- 1465
- 01:10:47,845 --> 01:10:49,429
- Spray paint, I'd
- like to huff it.
- 1466
- 01:10:49,513 --> 01:10:50,722
- You want to huff it?
- 1467
- 01:10:50,806 --> 01:10:52,683
- You want to huff the
- can of spray paint?
- 1468
- 01:10:52,766 --> 01:10:54,977
- You're like, the worst bum ever.
- 1469
- 01:10:55,060 --> 01:10:55,978
- What is it, a pageant?
- 1470
- 01:10:56,061 --> 01:10:57,062
- And you came in last.
- 1471
- 01:10:57,145 --> 01:10:58,438
- Okay, five bucks.
- 1472
- 01:10:58,522 --> 01:11:00,858
- Five bucks for a can of paint?
- 1473
- 01:11:00,941 --> 01:11:02,484
- That's what I said.
- Five bucks, yes or no.
- 1474
- 01:11:02,568 --> 01:11:04,152
- There's a line
- forming behind you.
- 1475
- 01:11:05,237 --> 01:11:07,281
- I made you
- look, you fucking idiot.
- 1476
- 01:11:07,364 --> 01:11:08,407
- Fuck off.
- 1477
- 01:11:12,160 --> 01:11:13,954
- Stop lookin at me.
- 1478
- 01:11:14,037 --> 01:11:15,581
- Get away from the gas tank, bum.
- 1479
- 01:11:15,664 --> 01:11:16,999
- Fuck you.
- 1480
- 01:11:21,795 --> 01:11:22,796
- Stop and drop.
- 1481
- 01:11:22,880 --> 01:11:25,632
- Why is this happening?
- 1482
- 01:11:25,716 --> 01:11:26,967
- You're on fire!
- 1483
- 01:11:27,050 --> 01:11:28,760
- Run, get the fire extinguisher!
- 1484
- 01:11:30,721 --> 01:11:33,181
- You not gonna stop, man?
- He's on fire!
- 1485
- 01:11:33,265 --> 01:11:35,434
- I don't need this
- shit in my life!
- 1486
- 01:11:41,732 --> 01:11:44,818
- Oh yeah, lie
- on me, get on me girl.
- 1487
- 01:11:44,902 --> 01:11:47,321
- Oh yeah, grind me
- out like a cigarette.
- 1488
- 01:11:48,155 --> 01:11:50,282
- Yeah, let me return the favour.
- 1489
- 01:11:50,365 --> 01:11:51,742
- I'm anything but a gentleman.
- 1490
- 01:11:51,825 --> 01:11:53,327
- Are you okay...
- 1491
- 01:11:54,536 --> 01:11:55,829
- That's my wife, bum.
- 1492
- 01:11:59,166 --> 01:12:00,876
- She got on me, dude.
- 1493
- 01:12:03,921 --> 01:12:06,340
- Bum, put those lamps back.
- 1494
- 01:12:07,716 --> 01:12:09,718
- So,
- that's the basic concept.
- 1495
- 01:12:09,801 --> 01:12:14,848
- Mmm. Sounds like a good idea.
- What, you're calling it YardBay?
- 1496
- 01:12:14,932 --> 01:12:15,641
- YardBay.
- 1497
- 01:12:15,724 --> 01:12:17,643
- Great name for a great idea.
- 1498
- 01:12:17,726 --> 01:12:18,977
- Well, it's Frank's idea.
- 1499
- 01:12:19,061 --> 01:12:20,395
- You hear that, bums?
- 1500
- 01:12:20,479 --> 01:12:22,272
- The great idea was my idea.
- 1501
- 01:12:22,356 --> 01:12:24,816
- A shovel swinging in your
- face would be a good idea.
- 1502
- 01:12:27,277 --> 01:12:28,779
- He already did that.
- 1503
- 01:12:28,862 --> 01:12:31,114
- While smoking a spider.
- 1504
- 01:12:32,699 --> 01:12:34,993
- Oh, I believe it,
- cause he's a huge dumbass.
- 1505
- 01:12:35,077 --> 01:12:37,037
- Look at his fat fish face.
- 1506
- 01:12:37,955 --> 01:12:41,041
- Frank is a
- banana split of shit.
- 1507
- 01:12:42,000 --> 01:12:43,293
- I don't like that.
- 1508
- 01:12:43,377 --> 01:12:46,129
- I hate to say it, but Frank
- is right about one thing.
- 1509
- 01:12:46,797 --> 01:12:48,382
- You got a good idea.
- 1510
- 01:12:48,465 --> 01:12:49,549
- Okay?
- 1511
- 01:12:50,968 --> 01:12:52,970
- But you gotta go in strong when
- you're dealing with rich people.
- 1512
- 01:12:53,053 --> 01:12:54,596
- Otherwise they'll prey on you.
- 1513
- 01:12:55,681 --> 01:12:58,767
- I would know that, cause I used
- to be one of those people.
- 1514
- 01:12:59,893 --> 01:13:02,938
- Put me out, fish face!
- 1515
- 01:13:08,443 --> 01:13:10,779
- All right,
- I'm out, I'm out.
- 1516
- 01:13:10,862 --> 01:13:12,030
- You okay?
- 1517
- 01:13:12,114 --> 01:13:12,781
- Yeah.
- 1518
- 01:13:12,864 --> 01:13:13,657
- What happened?
- 1519
- 01:13:13,740 --> 01:13:14,908
- Cigarette.
- 1520
- 01:13:14,992 --> 01:13:16,994
- Ah, yeah.
- Same thing happened to me.
- 1521
- 01:13:17,077 --> 01:13:18,036
- Feel stupid.
- 1522
- 01:13:18,120 --> 01:13:19,121
- Yeah.
- 1523
- 01:13:19,204 --> 01:13:20,872
- All right, well, goodbye Frank.
- 1524
- 01:13:20,956 --> 01:13:23,208
- Hope a train falls on your face.
- 1525
- 01:13:25,168 --> 01:13:27,546
- Go siphon some gas
- and smoke a cigarette, bum.
- 1526
- 01:13:28,880 --> 01:13:29,923
- Touché.
- 1527
- 01:13:30,924 --> 01:13:32,467
- You sure you're all right?
- 1528
- 01:13:32,551 --> 01:13:34,970
- Yeah. I did the same thing
- and next thing you know,
- 1529
- 01:13:35,053 --> 01:13:36,638
- the flames just jump on ya.
- 1530
- 01:13:36,722 --> 01:13:37,848
- You think it's
- the cigarette, or?
- 1531
- 01:13:37,931 --> 01:13:38,974
- 50/50 chance.
- 1532
- 01:13:39,057 --> 01:13:40,559
- They were sweet.
- 1533
- 01:13:42,561 --> 01:13:44,104
- Colin and Will.
- 1534
- 01:13:45,063 --> 01:13:46,189
- Fuck them.
- 1535
- 01:13:57,534 --> 01:13:59,786
- Why is there
- furniture on the lawn?
- 1536
- 01:14:03,248 --> 01:14:05,792
- Maybe they were partying.
- 1537
- 01:14:05,876 --> 01:14:08,003
- They're not like that, Jessie.
- 1538
- 01:14:09,588 --> 01:14:10,964
- You coming inside?
- 1539
- 01:14:11,048 --> 01:14:12,758
- I want to start setting
- up for the surprise.
- 1540
- 01:14:12,841 --> 01:14:14,718
- Um, yeah, in a minute.
- 1541
- 01:14:14,801 --> 01:14:17,888
- I got the spins, I'm just gonna
- go back to bed for a little bit.
- 1542
- 01:14:17,971 --> 01:14:19,014
- Okay.
- 1543
- 01:14:25,812 --> 01:14:27,064
- That's weird.
- 1544
- 01:14:28,982 --> 01:14:29,900
- Woah, woah, woah!
- 1545
- 01:14:29,983 --> 01:14:31,276
- Hey.
- 1546
- 01:14:31,359 --> 01:14:33,862
- If you're here for the yard
- sale, it's in the yard.
- 1547
- 01:14:33,945 --> 01:14:34,988
- Who are you?
- 1548
- 01:14:35,072 --> 01:14:36,156
- Who am I?
- 1549
- 01:14:36,239 --> 01:14:38,033
- I'm a guy holding pepper spray.
- 1550
- 01:14:38,116 --> 01:14:39,159
- 12 ounces...
- 1551
- 01:14:39,242 --> 01:14:42,621
- 3 ounces of pepper spray
- at your eyes, all right?
- 1552
- 01:14:42,704 --> 01:14:43,622
- Who are you?
- 1553
- 01:14:43,705 --> 01:14:45,665
- I'm Rachel.
- 1554
- 01:14:45,749 --> 01:14:47,125
- I live here.
- 1555
- 01:14:47,209 --> 01:14:49,669
- Oh my god, Rachel?
- 1556
- 01:14:49,753 --> 01:14:50,504
- Yeah.
- 1557
- 01:14:50,587 --> 01:14:52,172
- Oh, I've heard so
- much about you.
- 1558
- 01:14:52,964 --> 01:14:54,174
- I'm Carl.
- 1559
- 01:14:56,760 --> 01:14:58,845
- Carl, I think you're gonna
- 1560
- 01:14:58,929 --> 01:15:01,098
- need to explain to
- me what's going on.
- 1561
- 01:15:04,976 --> 01:15:07,854
- Baby, I think I
- figured something out,
- 1562
- 01:15:07,938 --> 01:15:10,440
- and we're gonna call it
- "The Carl."
- 1563
- 01:15:12,818 --> 01:15:13,985
- Feeling good?
- 1564
- 01:15:14,361 --> 01:15:16,446
- If good means nervous.
- 1565
- 01:15:16,530 --> 01:15:17,823
- A Baby Ruth?
- 1566
- 01:15:17,906 --> 01:15:20,617
- Sometimes a Baby Ruth
- is just a candy bar.
- 1567
- 01:15:24,704 --> 01:15:27,582
- The tournament is cancelled but
- I'm sure Dan is still here.
- 1568
- 01:15:27,916 --> 01:15:29,543
- This has to work.
- 1569
- 01:15:29,626 --> 01:15:32,170
- You heard what those bums said,
- we have to make these rich guys
- 1570
- 01:15:32,254 --> 01:15:33,505
- wanna give us money.
- 1571
- 01:15:33,588 --> 01:15:35,340
- Make'em need to give it to us.
- 1572
- 01:15:35,423 --> 01:15:38,218
- It's fourth and goal, no time
- on the clock, you got the ball,
- 1573
- 01:15:38,301 --> 01:15:39,845
- and I'll just follow your lead.
- 1574
- 01:15:46,643 --> 01:15:47,644
- Keep it close.
- 1575
- 01:15:49,646 --> 01:15:52,732
- Oh no, that's not
- "fuck you,"
- 1576
- 01:15:52,816 --> 01:15:54,442
- that's somebody else.
- 1577
- 01:15:56,111 --> 01:15:57,404
- Can you wash it?
- 1578
- 01:15:57,988 --> 01:15:59,322
- That's fine.
- 1579
- 01:16:00,657 --> 01:16:02,784
- I have to go to the
- locker room to clean up
- 1580
- 01:16:02,868 --> 01:16:04,536
- and put on my secret weapon.
- 1581
- 01:16:04,619 --> 01:16:06,371
- - Meet you at the golf carts.
- - Okay.
- 1582
- 01:16:07,622 --> 01:16:10,750
- Okay, well then, where
- did they go after that?
- 1583
- 01:16:10,834 --> 01:16:12,586
- I don't know.
- 1584
- 01:16:12,669 --> 01:16:15,839
- I mean, it seems to
- change every 16 minutes.
- 1585
- 01:16:16,548 --> 01:16:18,258
- Frankly, I'm worried.
- 1586
- 01:16:18,341 --> 01:16:22,512
- And your mother, I mean, maybe
- you know her better than me,
- 1587
- 01:16:22,596 --> 01:16:25,182
- but she seems a little unhinged.
- 1588
- 01:16:25,265 --> 01:16:28,935
- But the point is, I think
- your surprise birthday party
- 1589
- 01:16:29,019 --> 01:16:30,729
- is a wonderful idea.
- 1590
- 01:16:30,812 --> 01:16:32,063
- Have you ever seen
- The Wedding Planner?
- 1591
- 01:16:32,147 --> 01:16:33,773
- - Mm.
- - With J-Lo?
- 1592
- 01:16:33,857 --> 01:16:35,525
- That's short for Jennifer Lopez.
- 1593
- 01:16:35,609 --> 01:16:39,404
- Anyway, I love J-Lo,
- and not just because she's
- 1594
- 01:16:39,487 --> 01:16:42,240
- a fellow Latina,
- I love her for her dancing,
- 1595
- 01:16:42,324 --> 01:16:45,619
- I love her for her singing,
- I love her for her acting,
- 1596
- 01:16:45,702 --> 01:16:47,537
- but I never liked her perfume.
- 1597
- 01:16:47,621 --> 01:16:48,830
- It was gross.
- 1598
- 01:16:48,914 --> 01:16:52,542
- Carl, I don't think
- we're gonna have a party.
- 1599
- 01:16:53,585 --> 01:16:55,420
- I need to call my
- Aunt Betty, and...
- 1600
- 01:16:55,503 --> 01:16:59,925
- Okay, I need like 12 billion
- aspirin and one ounce...
- 1601
- 01:17:00,008 --> 01:17:03,595
- Oh my god, who is
- this hunk of stud hunk...
- 1602
- 01:17:03,678 --> 01:17:05,639
- Jessie, this is Carl.
- 1603
- 01:17:05,722 --> 01:17:09,142
- He's, I guess, staying with us.
- 1604
- 01:17:09,226 --> 01:17:11,436
- Hi. I'm Jessie.
- 1605
- 01:17:11,519 --> 01:17:13,521
- - Hi.
- - Nice to meet you.
- 1606
- 01:17:13,605 --> 01:17:17,400
- Did you just call
- me a hunk of stud?
- 1607
- 01:17:17,484 --> 01:17:21,488
- If I was a shark, man,
- I would just chomp
- 1608
- 01:17:21,571 --> 01:17:24,199
- into you like a
- little baby seal.
- 1609
- 01:17:29,788 --> 01:17:32,666
- Please god, don't let
- this be a fucking dream.
- 1610
- 01:17:40,298 --> 01:17:41,508
- Hey, Andy.
- 1611
- 01:17:41,591 --> 01:17:42,884
- Danny boy.
- 1612
- 01:17:42,968 --> 01:17:45,095
- Mm.
- 1613
- 01:17:45,762 --> 01:17:47,180
- Look at that, there's
- Nancy at the bar.
- 1614
- 01:17:47,264 --> 01:17:48,098
- Ooh.
- 1615
- 01:17:48,181 --> 01:17:49,474
- Saluuut.
- 1616
- 01:17:49,557 --> 01:17:50,976
- Fancy Nancy.
- 1617
- 01:17:51,059 --> 01:17:52,060
- Hey guys.
- 1618
- 01:17:52,143 --> 01:17:53,770
- Hey, Frank.
- 1619
- 01:17:53,853 --> 01:17:55,105
- Yeah, she's having a few.
- 1620
- 01:17:56,314 --> 01:17:57,857
- Right now, she couldn't
- see the hole in a ladder.
- 1621
- 01:17:59,234 --> 01:18:01,069
- We've been
- celebrating some good news.
- 1622
- 01:18:01,152 --> 01:18:02,779
- Oh, yeah?
- What good news is that?
- 1623
- 01:18:02,862 --> 01:18:04,781
- Some Silicon Valley news.
- 1624
- 01:18:04,864 --> 01:18:05,907
- Ooh.
- 1625
- 01:18:05,991 --> 01:18:08,201
- Hiiii guys.
- 1626
- 01:18:08,285 --> 01:18:12,205
- Oh bummer, they
- cancelled your game.
- 1627
- 01:18:12,289 --> 01:18:13,415
- I know, I know.
- 1628
- 01:18:13,498 --> 01:18:15,083
- White balls, white
- snow, you know.
- 1629
- 01:18:15,166 --> 01:18:17,043
- Well, white balls
- are better than blue.
- 1630
- 01:18:17,127 --> 01:18:18,545
- You ever run track?
- 1631
- 01:18:18,628 --> 01:18:20,880
- Ever run track?
- Ever run track?
- 1632
- 01:18:20,964 --> 01:18:22,132
- You mean with our feet?
- 1633
- 01:18:22,215 --> 01:18:23,508
- That's why they have golf carts.
- 1634
- 01:18:23,591 --> 01:18:25,468
- Oh, stop right there baby.
- 1635
- 01:18:25,552 --> 01:18:28,930
- I need you to pay
- attention and to focus,
- 1636
- 01:18:29,014 --> 01:18:32,058
- because I'm about
- to organize you.
- 1637
- 01:18:32,142 --> 01:18:33,476
- Baby can we talk for a second.
- 1638
- 01:18:33,560 --> 01:18:34,102
- No.
- 1639
- 01:18:34,185 --> 01:18:35,395
- No, Honey, I think...
- 1640
- 01:18:35,478 --> 01:18:38,440
- I talk to you all the time,
- I'm sick of talking to you,
- 1641
- 01:18:38,523 --> 01:18:39,482
- I want to talk to them.
- 1642
- 01:18:39,566 --> 01:18:41,276
- Stop trying to control me.
- 1643
- 01:18:42,402 --> 01:18:44,446
- Enjoy the moment, fellas.
- 1644
- 01:18:45,322 --> 01:18:50,327
- Well, I used to
- run four-person relays,
- 1645
- 01:18:50,410 --> 01:18:51,745
- and this is how it works.
- 1646
- 01:18:51,828 --> 01:18:56,666
- The second fastest runner
- usually starts the race.
- 1647
- 01:18:56,750 --> 01:19:00,003
- That fucker needs
- to get a good lead.
- 1648
- 01:19:00,086 --> 01:19:04,007
- Andy, smart, hard worker.
- 1649
- 01:19:04,090 --> 01:19:06,968
- You've earned your money.
- 1650
- 01:19:07,052 --> 01:19:08,053
- Yes.
- 1651
- 01:19:08,136 --> 01:19:13,350
- So, I am going to make
- you the first runner.
- 1652
- 01:19:14,059 --> 01:19:15,810
- Come with me.
- 1653
- 01:19:17,020 --> 01:19:22,317
- The second runner needs to
- be solid, and dependable.
- 1654
- 01:19:22,400 --> 01:19:23,401
- That's you, Steve.
- 1655
- 01:19:23,485 --> 01:19:26,529
- You've done well in Wall
- Street, but you've never
- 1656
- 01:19:26,613 --> 01:19:28,490
- done anything...
- 1657
- 01:19:29,366 --> 01:19:30,909
- flashy.
- 1658
- 01:19:32,327 --> 01:19:35,872
- I am so sorry Rob,
- but the slowest
- 1659
- 01:19:35,955 --> 01:19:39,709
- runner always runs third.
- 1660
- 01:19:39,793 --> 01:19:43,838
- I know that you're rich,
- but it's family money, baby.
- 1661
- 01:19:43,922 --> 01:19:46,674
- You need to be hungry.
- 1662
- 01:19:46,758 --> 01:19:50,553
- Maybe today,
- shock us baby please.
- 1663
- 01:19:52,430 --> 01:19:54,599
- And you, my Danny boy.
- 1664
- 01:19:55,934 --> 01:19:57,394
- You're fourth.
- 1665
- 01:19:57,477 --> 01:19:58,853
- I'm never fourth.
- 1666
- 01:19:58,937 --> 01:20:01,856
- But the fourth runner is
- always the fastest runner.
- 1667
- 01:20:01,940 --> 01:20:03,233
- Ahh.
- 1668
- 01:20:03,316 --> 01:20:06,653
- He's also the smartest runner.
- 1669
- 01:20:06,736 --> 01:20:09,781
- Because he knows
- what it takes to win.
- 1670
- 01:20:10,824 --> 01:20:14,327
- Either dig deep to
- make up for the lost time,
- 1671
- 01:20:14,411 --> 01:20:17,872
- or run just fast
- enough to hold the lead.
- 1672
- 01:20:17,956 --> 01:20:21,835
- I was always the fourth runner.
- 1673
- 01:20:21,918 --> 01:20:25,380
- Because I was very, very good.
- 1674
- 01:20:26,548 --> 01:20:29,676
- So, let's stretch.
- 1675
- 01:20:29,759 --> 01:20:31,719
- Warm up.
- 1676
- 01:20:31,803 --> 01:20:34,222
- And assume the position.
- 1677
- 01:20:34,305 --> 01:20:35,682
- Okay, now I like this part.
- 1678
- 01:20:35,765 --> 01:20:38,101
- Isn't she something?
- 1679
- 01:20:38,184 --> 01:20:39,018
- Stand up, baby.
- 1680
- 01:20:39,102 --> 01:20:41,146
- So now what, we actually run?
- 1681
- 01:20:41,229 --> 01:20:45,650
- Yes, and Frank is going to tell
- you what's at the finish line.
- 1682
- 01:20:45,733 --> 01:20:46,901
- No. no, baby...
- 1683
- 01:20:46,985 --> 01:20:49,112
- We have no more room
- for investors...
- 1684
- 01:20:49,195 --> 01:20:51,781
- Please, please,
- Frank. I mean, you cannot
- 1685
- 01:20:51,865 --> 01:20:56,202
- trust those millionaires
- from Silicon Valley.
- 1686
- 01:20:56,286 --> 01:21:01,249
- Silicon is fake,
- like the fake silicon boobs,
- 1687
- 01:21:01,332 --> 01:21:03,877
- they're fake millionaires,
- they're nouveau rich.
- 1688
- 01:21:03,960 --> 01:21:05,128
- It's just a pitch,
- it's a pitch...
- 1689
- 01:21:05,211 --> 01:21:06,796
- Now you have to tell
- him about the pig.
- 1690
- 01:21:06,880 --> 01:21:07,589
- Say the pitch, come on.
- 1691
- 01:21:07,672 --> 01:21:09,883
- Tell them about the pig.
- The pig!
- 1692
- 01:21:09,966 --> 01:21:11,301
- All right, all right, all right.
- 1693
- 01:21:13,178 --> 01:21:16,181
- You know the phrase "burn down
- the house to cook a pig?"
- 1694
- 01:21:17,432 --> 01:21:18,725
- You don't have a lot of house
- left, we have a lot of
- 1695
- 01:21:18,808 --> 01:21:20,477
- cooked pig?
- 1696
- 01:21:21,769 --> 01:21:23,104
- A lot of bankruptcy filings
- in this country right now,
- 1697
- 01:21:23,188 --> 01:21:24,147
- people have lost everything.
- 1698
- 01:21:24,230 --> 01:21:25,648
- They gambled
- and they got wiped out.
- 1699
- 01:21:26,441 --> 01:21:27,775
- Have I got your attention?
- 1700
- 01:21:31,488 --> 01:21:35,158
- We help them sell
- the barbecued pork.
- 1701
- 01:21:36,075 --> 01:21:39,662
- People browse yard
- sales from home.
- 1702
- 01:21:40,497 --> 01:21:42,165
- It's called YardBay.
- 1703
- 01:21:43,750 --> 01:21:45,293
- Yeah baby.
- 1704
- 01:21:48,171 --> 01:21:49,172
- I like it.
- 1705
- 01:21:49,923 --> 01:21:51,299
- I like it.
- 1706
- 01:21:51,382 --> 01:21:52,800
- Let's talk.
- 1707
- 01:21:52,884 --> 01:21:55,637
- And the winner is....
- Dan!
- 1708
- 01:21:55,720 --> 01:21:57,764
- My wife is so...
- 1709
- 01:21:59,057 --> 01:22:00,266
- Your acting was brilliant.
- 1710
- 01:22:00,350 --> 01:22:01,392
- Well, I couldn't
- have gotten home
- 1711
- 01:22:01,476 --> 01:22:02,852
- if you didn't put me on 3rd,
- baby.
- 1712
- 01:22:02,936 --> 01:22:04,229
- I feel great.
- 1713
- 01:22:04,312 --> 01:22:05,438
- Boy, it really was, wasn't it?
- 1714
- 01:22:05,522 --> 01:22:06,773
- I just did a Carl.
- 1715
- 01:22:06,856 --> 01:22:10,276
- My crazy made you look good,
- and now they want YardBay!
- 1716
- 01:22:10,360 --> 01:22:11,653
- I'm gonna call Jason.
- 1717
- 01:22:11,736 --> 01:22:13,780
- I need to have something to
- show Dan over lunch tomorrow.
- 1718
- 01:22:13,863 --> 01:22:15,031
- Yes.
- 1719
- 01:22:15,823 --> 01:22:17,492
- Oh, Frank, is it over?
- 1720
- 01:22:17,575 --> 01:22:20,245
- Are we finally out
- of this shit-storm?
- 1721
- 01:22:20,328 --> 01:22:22,830
- I don't know how, but I
- think we did it, didn't we?
- 1722
- 01:22:22,914 --> 01:22:25,166
- Who said you can't
- unring a bell?
- 1723
- 01:22:26,167 --> 01:22:27,752
- Mom, Dad...
- 1724
- 01:22:27,835 --> 01:22:29,212
- Rachel.
- 1725
- 01:22:30,713 --> 01:22:32,799
- And I see you've met Carl.
- 1726
- 01:22:32,882 --> 01:22:34,259
- Nancy. I've been so worried.
- 1727
- 01:22:34,342 --> 01:22:36,010
- Carl told me everything.
- 1728
- 01:22:36,094 --> 01:22:40,390
- I've tried piecing it
- together, but I don't know.
- 1729
- 01:22:40,473 --> 01:22:43,226
- I called Aunt Betty,
- she's on her way here.
- 1730
- 01:22:43,309 --> 01:22:44,435
- Great.
- 1731
- 01:22:44,519 --> 01:22:46,896
- Honey, it's Nigel.
- 1732
- 01:22:47,647 --> 01:22:48,940
- Yes...
- 1733
- 01:22:49,649 --> 01:22:50,692
- Nige.
- 1734
- 01:22:50,775 --> 01:22:52,777
- I'm sorry, did you
- just call me "Nige?"
- 1735
- 01:22:52,860 --> 01:22:55,572
- Uh, it's possible. I knew
- a guy called Adolf Dick once,
- 1736
- 01:22:55,655 --> 01:22:56,823
- that's a tough name, isn't it?
- 1737
- 01:22:56,906 --> 01:23:01,828
- Listen, I just had an amazing
- conversation with the police
- 1738
- 01:23:01,911 --> 01:23:05,707
- who informed me that my
- house has been burglarized.
- 1739
- 01:23:05,790 --> 01:23:09,544
- I'm about to board this flight,
- and come home and start ripping
- 1740
- 01:23:09,627 --> 01:23:11,629
- some new assholes.
- All right?
- 1741
- 01:23:11,713 --> 01:23:14,382
- No, no, they caught the culprit,
- everything's back in the house.
- 1742
- 01:23:14,465 --> 01:23:16,134
- It's all good in
- the hood, Nigel.
- 1743
- 01:23:16,217 --> 01:23:18,469
- Oh, oh the police found him?
- 1744
- 01:23:18,553 --> 01:23:20,805
- They didn't let me know that.
- All right, listen.
- 1745
- 01:23:20,888 --> 01:23:23,600
- I want the perpetrators,
- I want them prosecuted
- 1746
- 01:23:23,683 --> 01:23:25,435
- and I want them sent to jail,
- okay?
- 1747
- 01:23:25,518 --> 01:23:26,561
- No, no, Nigel.
- 1748
- 01:23:26,644 --> 01:23:29,480
- The thief was hit by a
- car and a bike and a rock.
- 1749
- 01:23:29,564 --> 01:23:31,190
- Isn't that punishment enough?
- 1750
- 01:23:31,274 --> 01:23:34,444
- You know, even 5000 miles away
- I can still smell the bullshit.
- 1751
- 01:23:34,527 --> 01:23:35,778
- I'm getting on this plane.
- 1752
- 01:23:35,862 --> 01:23:37,614
- Or, I could go take a
- picture of your living room
- 1753
- 01:23:37,697 --> 01:23:40,408
- and send it to you, and you
- could see how it's pristine.
- 1754
- 01:23:42,869 --> 01:23:44,370
- Yeah. Send it.
- 1755
- 01:23:50,543 --> 01:23:54,088
- All right, I understand
- that you must be mad.
- 1756
- 01:23:54,172 --> 01:23:57,675
- Mom, I'm mad that you didn't
- trust me enough to tell me
- 1757
- 01:23:57,759 --> 01:23:59,052
- what was going on.
- 1758
- 01:23:59,135 --> 01:24:03,431
- And also, I'm mad
- that I missed out
- 1759
- 01:24:03,514 --> 01:24:06,601
- on seeing my amazing
- parents in action.
- 1760
- 01:24:07,393 --> 01:24:09,103
- I wish I could have been there,
- 1761
- 01:24:09,187 --> 01:24:12,523
- because I'll never stop
- learning from you guys.
- 1762
- 01:24:13,274 --> 01:24:15,151
- Rachel.
- 1763
- 01:24:19,947 --> 01:24:21,366
- Come upstairs to my closet.
- 1764
- 01:24:21,449 --> 01:24:23,034
- It's now a panic room.
- 1765
- 01:24:23,826 --> 01:24:24,911
- Hey pervert.
- 1766
- 01:24:25,787 --> 01:24:27,997
- What did we tell you
- about coming back here?
- 1767
- 01:24:32,585 --> 01:24:33,878
- Where's the main deviant?
- 1768
- 01:24:33,961 --> 01:24:34,962
- Jason?
- 1769
- 01:24:35,046 --> 01:24:37,423
- Don't worry, Rach.
- I got this.
- 1770
- 01:24:37,507 --> 01:24:40,218
- No Jason,
- don't mess with these guys.
- 1771
- 01:24:40,301 --> 01:24:43,262
- Frank, we
- have a problema!
- 1772
- 01:24:43,346 --> 01:24:46,849
- No, no, no. Nobody speaks to
- Mrs. Teagarten like that.
- 1773
- 01:24:47,809 --> 01:24:49,977
- What you got there, ironsides?
- A cap gun?
- 1774
- 01:24:50,061 --> 01:24:51,229
- Tasers.
- 1775
- 01:24:51,312 --> 01:24:52,480
- I carry rent money.
- 1776
- 01:24:57,276 --> 01:24:59,362
- Holy shit,
- those are police tasers.
- 1777
- 01:24:59,445 --> 01:25:01,280
- Oh, I want that fucker.
- 1778
- 01:25:01,364 --> 01:25:02,865
- - Be prepared to meet your...
- - Give me one.
- 1779
- 01:25:02,949 --> 01:25:04,534
- Hey, kids.
- What are you guys doing here?
- 1780
- 01:25:04,617 --> 01:25:05,952
- An X-26-6000?
- 1781
- 01:25:06,035 --> 01:25:07,620
- I'm just right in the middle
- of something super important.
- 1782
- 01:25:07,704 --> 01:25:10,123
- - We really don't want these...
- - Back off you stupid fuck.
- 1783
- 01:25:10,206 --> 01:25:11,165
- Fight me!
- 1784
- 01:25:11,249 --> 01:25:12,125
- Who are you kids?
- Please leave me be...
- 1785
- 01:25:12,208 --> 01:25:13,251
- Suck a fat one.
- 1786
- 01:25:13,334 --> 01:25:14,460
- My girlfriend is watching!
- 1787
- 01:25:14,544 --> 01:25:15,545
- Pussy!
- 1788
- 01:25:15,628 --> 01:25:16,754
- Take the tasers,
- you wore me down.
- 1789
- 01:25:20,091 --> 01:25:20,925
- Who are you?
- 1790
- 01:25:21,008 --> 01:25:22,093
- I'm Plumber.
- 1791
- 01:25:22,719 --> 01:25:24,053
- Ugh!
- 1792
- 01:25:24,137 --> 01:25:26,222
- Ready for some shock
- and awe, fuckers?
- 1793
- 01:25:26,305 --> 01:25:27,348
- Amen.
- 1794
- 01:25:30,435 --> 01:25:32,019
- Kneel before your god.
- 1795
- 01:25:33,104 --> 01:25:34,647
- You guys are wonderful children.
- Both of you.
- 1796
- 01:25:34,731 --> 01:25:35,815
- All right guys.
- 1797
- 01:25:37,024 --> 01:25:38,359
- All right, we're good.
- 1798
- 01:25:38,443 --> 01:25:40,403
- Yeah, for once we're having
- fucking fun in our lives,
- 1799
- 01:25:40,486 --> 01:25:42,739
- because you never gave us a good
- childhood, so can you just like,
- 1800
- 01:25:42,822 --> 01:25:43,990
- let us have fun?
- 1801
- 01:25:54,083 --> 01:25:55,793
- Nice.
- 1802
- 01:25:55,877 --> 01:25:56,836
- All right. We're done.
- 1803
- 01:25:56,919 --> 01:25:57,712
- ...that was amazing.
- 1804
- 01:25:57,795 --> 01:25:58,713
- Thanks, baby.
- 1805
- 01:26:00,715 --> 01:26:02,467
- Okay, I understand the impulse.
- 1806
- 01:26:03,718 --> 01:26:05,845
- But let's have no more of
- this vigilante justice, okay?
- 1807
- 01:26:05,928 --> 01:26:08,264
- We have to have law and order.
- Believe me, I would know.
- 1808
- 01:26:15,730 --> 01:26:17,565
- All right, listen up.
- 1809
- 01:26:17,648 --> 01:26:19,066
- We've got two minutes.
- 1810
- 01:26:19,150 --> 01:26:20,485
- Everything inside.
- 1811
- 01:26:22,445 --> 01:26:24,405
- Sir, you really need to board.
- 1812
- 01:26:24,489 --> 01:26:26,115
- Yeah, all right, all right.
- 1813
- 01:26:29,243 --> 01:26:32,914
- All right, uh, pull my bags off
- the plane, I'm going to Nepal.
- 1814
- 01:26:32,997 --> 01:26:34,248
- You can't be serious.
- 1815
- 01:26:34,332 --> 01:26:36,584
- Yeah, hurry up, come on, lady!
- Let's go.
- 1816
- 01:26:36,667 --> 01:26:38,377
- Pull the trigger on my bags.
- 1817
- 01:26:38,461 --> 01:26:42,215
- Uh, airport security
- to Gate B31.
- 1818
- 01:26:42,298 --> 01:26:44,509
- Wait, why, 'cause
- I called you lady?
- 1819
- 01:26:44,592 --> 01:26:45,718
- You said the word "trigger."
- 1820
- 01:26:45,802 --> 01:26:47,553
- It's not a great word
- around here these days.
- 1821
- 01:26:47,637 --> 01:26:50,389
- Oh, you called the pigs,
- you fucking stupid...
- 1822
- 01:26:50,473 --> 01:26:53,267
- Oh. He is a lady,
- that's his... Ugh.
- 1823
- 01:27:19,377 --> 01:27:20,753
- Good luck.
- 1824
- 01:27:20,837 --> 01:27:21,838
- Bye.
- 1825
- 01:27:21,921 --> 01:27:23,339
- Oh, Frank.
- 1826
- 01:27:23,422 --> 01:27:26,050
- So, I can't talk you
- out of this, right?
- 1827
- 01:27:26,133 --> 01:27:27,802
- No, honey, you can't.
- 1828
- 01:27:27,885 --> 01:27:29,178
- Good.
- 1829
- 01:27:29,262 --> 01:27:30,429
- More than good.
- 1830
- 01:27:47,947 --> 01:27:49,657
- Is this Rose?
- 1831
- 01:27:51,158 --> 01:27:53,744
- Hi Rose, I am Nancy.
- 1832
- 01:27:53,828 --> 01:27:55,288
- Where's my daddy?
- 1833
- 01:27:55,371 --> 01:27:57,957
- Your daddy couldn't come,
- but he sent me to get you
- 1834
- 01:27:58,040 --> 01:28:00,585
- and you're going to see
- him really, really soon.
- 1835
- 01:28:00,668 --> 01:28:03,421
- Meanwhile, I'm gonna
- be taking care of you.
- 1836
- 01:28:03,504 --> 01:28:04,380
- Is that all right?
- 1837
- 01:28:04,463 --> 01:28:05,631
- Is he in jail?
- 1838
- 01:28:05,715 --> 01:28:07,550
- Sometimes he goes to jail.
- 1839
- 01:28:07,633 --> 01:28:11,178
- You shouldn't worry about
- that, you must be so tired.
- 1840
- 01:28:11,262 --> 01:28:13,472
- And hungry.
- Are you hungry?
- 1841
- 01:28:15,266 --> 01:28:16,809
- Thank you very much.
- 1842
- 01:28:16,893 --> 01:28:19,896
- You're so brave that
- you came all that way.
- 1843
- 01:28:19,979 --> 01:28:20,980
- Were you scared?
- 1844
- 01:28:21,063 --> 01:28:21,981
- A little.
- 1845
- 01:28:32,491 --> 01:28:34,243
- Turkey, turkey!
- 1846
- 01:28:38,456 --> 01:28:41,000
- O'Henry once said that
- love and family and country
- 1847
- 01:28:41,083 --> 01:28:44,170
- are nothing but shadows of
- words when a man is starving.
- 1848
- 01:28:45,671 --> 01:28:47,089
- And today, we are not starving.
- 1849
- 01:28:47,173 --> 01:28:48,716
- I'm glad you're all here.
- 1850
- 01:28:48,799 --> 01:28:52,845
- O'Henry once said
- that love and family and country
- 1851
- 01:28:52,929 --> 01:28:54,889
- all together is...
- 1852
- 01:28:56,057 --> 01:28:57,183
- Uh...
- 1853
- 01:28:59,226 --> 01:29:00,436
- You're right.
- 1854
- 01:29:00,519 --> 01:29:01,646
- I'm a douche.
- 1855
- 01:29:03,439 --> 01:29:04,649
- Yes!
- 1856
- 01:29:04,732 --> 01:29:08,819
- Yes, you most
- certainly are a douche.
- 1857
- 01:29:10,821 --> 01:29:13,532
- And that is the first
- step towards recovery.
- 1858
- 01:29:13,616 --> 01:29:14,533
- Thank you.
- 1859
- 01:29:14,617 --> 01:29:17,495
- Okay, okay, here we go.
- 1860
- 01:29:18,913 --> 01:29:22,416
- I'm thankful that we got rid of
- our stuck up, useless friends.
- 1861
- 01:29:23,292 --> 01:29:25,711
- Our new ones
- are a little strange,
- 1862
- 01:29:25,795 --> 01:29:27,880
- but they are true friends.
- 1863
- 01:29:29,131 --> 01:29:32,593
- I am so thankful that I
- married the love of my life
- 1864
- 01:29:32,677 --> 01:29:37,682
- and that I know my Frank
- and I can overcome anything,
- 1865
- 01:29:37,765 --> 01:29:40,267
- as long as we are together.
- 1866
- 01:29:42,728 --> 01:29:44,522
- Rose, Rachel?
- 1867
- 01:29:45,481 --> 01:29:48,067
- Thank god for Baby Ruths.
- 1868
- 01:29:49,986 --> 01:29:51,320
- Okay, who's hungry?
- 1869
- 01:29:51,404 --> 01:29:52,613
- Me.
- 1870
- 01:29:52,697 --> 01:29:53,781
- For my new friend.
- 1871
- 01:29:53,864 --> 01:29:56,867
- ♪ Welcome back, it's so
- good to have you home ♪
- 1872
- 01:29:56,951 --> 01:30:00,037
- ♪ Welcome back,
- you've been gone so long ♪
- 1873
- 01:30:00,121 --> 01:30:02,206
- Well, that's our story.
- 1874
- 01:30:02,289 --> 01:30:05,292
- Frank and Nancy lived in Jason's
- trailer court for a while,
- 1875
- 01:30:05,376 --> 01:30:07,920
- and Frank took the job
- snipping catalytic converters.
- 1876
- 01:30:08,004 --> 01:30:09,588
- He's pretty darn good at it.
- 1877
- 01:30:09,672 --> 01:30:12,925
- They rented the house to Carl,
- and they all worked night
- 1878
- 01:30:13,009 --> 01:30:14,218
- and day on YardBay.
- 1879
- 01:30:14,301 --> 01:30:16,762
- Last time we checked it was
- getting pretty darn huge.
- 1880
- 01:30:16,846 --> 01:30:19,765
- And it all started
- when they got drunk.
- 1881
- 01:30:19,849 --> 01:30:21,308
- And because they were drunk,
- 1882
- 01:30:21,392 --> 01:30:23,477
- drunk with love
- for their daughter.
- 1883
- 01:30:23,561 --> 01:30:26,480
- And like the saying goes,
- a drunk man's actions are
- 1884
- 01:30:26,564 --> 01:30:28,149
- a sober man's thoughts.
- 1885
- 01:30:28,232 --> 01:30:31,027
- They were drunk parents.
- 1886
- 01:30:31,110 --> 01:30:34,864
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh... ♪
- 1887
- 01:30:36,699 --> 01:30:38,242
- ♪ Welcome home, ♪
- 1888
- 01:30:40,494 --> 01:30:41,620
- ♪ Welcome home ♪
- 1889
- 01:30:41,704 --> 01:30:43,372
- ♪ Oh, oooh, ♪
- 1890
- 01:30:51,630 --> 01:30:53,466
- ♪ Welcome home, Ooh. ♪
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