Impulse V

Asriel awoke with a hand clinging to his chest. He blinked sleep out of his eyes as the rest of his body roused itself. His vision trailed the hand from his torso to the mass of blankets to his right.

His ears registered heavy panting. Shit. Frisk was having another nightmare.

Asriel instinctively tossed himself over and coupled the human in his arms. Her breathing hitched slightly as he drew her in.

“...Frisk?”

No response. She tremored slightly in his arms. He hadn’t dealt with her mid-nightmare before. Waking her might not even be possible, let alone a good idea.

He hugged her tighter, trying to restrain the shudders and slight kicks Frisk was giving. After a few seconds, he detected her breathing quaver again slightly. Satisfied that he was making some progress, he lowered his head over hers against the pillows.

Think back. What did she used to do, way back when?

Asriel started humming softly. A tune he used to hear, a very, very long time ago. Frisk knew it, somehow, in her vast repertoire of ‘Things That Make People Feel Great’, and Asriel never really questioned it.

The song was finding purchase. The tremoring stopped, slowly but surely. Frisk’s breathing started to normalize.

A wave of relief washed over the prince. Frisk rarely let him coddle her like this. It was like a double dipping of self indulgence and being able to repay Frisk for everything she had done.

It’s the least he could do. A voice in the back of his mind chided that he was partially responsible for the hell she put herself through to save him.

Self-depreciation comes later. Frisk’s first.

As he continued humming, he noticed her breathing had aligned with his. Asriel pulled her snug against his chest again, and the humming tapered off. Satisfied with his work for the evening, he let the hooks of sleep pull him in.

But not before letting a small burst of magic loose.

**

Frisk ‘woke’.

Her nightmares were getting exceedingly intricate. It was frustrating, dealing with it in hindsight. Logically, they shouldn’t be affecting her. She knew Az was safe, she -knew- it was a dream, but she couldn’t fight off the frustration, the guilt, the pain. Feelings that weren’t hers. It had a sickening nostalgia to it.

They were formulaic. After Az’s episodes, along with her current influx, she had been doing some research on dream cycles in her spare time in flights. It struck her in perfect accordance with REM cycles, one dedicated to mental bombardment, and then the rest of the night would continue anon.

She normally contemplated these things while making breakfast for the two of them, or shaking off tremors in private.

Frisk looked down at her hands and clenched. She was still dreaming. Why the lucidity?

It was welcome, at any rate. She was half tempted to pass out in the dream itself. She had an indescribable feeling of warmth wrapping her.

She finally took in her surroundings. Definitely should not be this warm. The dark ground was cracked with bioluminescent plant life. Cyan pierced her eyes as she swept across the sight.

There was something different, though. Waterfall was familiar to her, but instead of the normal dots along the cavernous walls, there was…

“I always loved coming here. As much as I could, any rate.”

Frisk jumped. Asriel?

An arm slung across her shoulders. That ambient warmth doubled.

“What’s going on, Az? Why are we in a-”

He continued, seemingly ignoring her. “It was always so interesting, I guess. The dots against the cavern wall. Could busy myself for -hours- just thinking about how actual stars must have looked. Dad used to tell me about how you could see full constellations, even other planets, and they -moved-. Not just twinkled, like the lights.”

Asriel shifted behind her and wrapped both his arms around her. In a quick, fluid motion, he drug her towards the ground and hoisted her into his lap. He rested his back against the dirt and lowered Frisk against his chest.

“...Couldn’t have ever given them a decent look without you, Frisk.”

Ah, Jesus. Asriel was going to give her diabetes. The only way to fight this was more fuel to the flames. “Maybe I just really wanted someone to see the stars with.”

Asriel’s chest heaved with a chuckle. “Determined enough for a stargazing partner that you threw yourself down a mountain?”

“Something like that.” She reached down and grabbed one of his hands, interlocking her fingers. “I take it you’re responsible for this?”

“Golly, what do you mean, Frisk?” Coy little bastard.

“Well, I’m lucid in a dream immediately following a nightmare. I’m looking at nebulas that shouldn't be visible with the naked eye, in a place that's supposed to be inside a mountain. I don’t think the Mexican food from last night is to blame for this.”

Frisk heard a soft sigh. “Well, you never let me console you after these things in the morning, and you never talk about it to me. Figured you’d be more open in your dreams. Don’t even have to say it out loud.”

I couldn’t admit it to you, Az. Displaying weakness. These dreams shouldn’t even be affecting me. I know they’re fake. I know they’re just demons from my mind’s eye. But they still get me. And I hate it.

“You can’t keep bottling that stuff up, Frisk. Vent a little.” Asriel had to suppress a laugh. “You’re talking to the crybaby, remember?”

Did he just read my thoughts?

“Yes.”

Coy little bastard!

“Sorry! We’re in your dream. I’d say I’d shut it off if I could, but, uh… Yeah. This is good progress!”

…

“So did I wake you?”

Asriel adjusted his back and let out a sigh. “Yeah. First time, actually. Normally I wake up when you leave the bed or something.”

Sorry.

“Nothing to apologize for! Remember what I said back in the States. We’re partners, now. Don’t have to carry all this baggage yourself.”

You got enough to deal with, Az. I can handle a few bad dreams.

“Well, you probably could. You’re tough as nails. But you don’t have to. We’re the only two people in the world who know what we’ve been through. I don’t wanna say I’m the only one who -can- help you, but…”

Frisk held back her arm from elbowing Asriel in the side. “You’re so goddamn cheesy!”

“And you love it!”

She let out a deep sigh. “Yeah, I do.”

The ambient rumble of water claimed the scene as Frisk fell silent, giving her head to the nook in Asriel’s neck.

He really did go all out. Clouds of green, orange, blue, purple. Stars and planets twinkling, some impossibly close, some veiled in nebulas. They were moving, fast enough to be noticeable, and the sky constantly churned with new scenes.

Asriel’s chest lifted her up and down in a rhythm. It was almost as if Frisk was floating.

“Why am I so warm, by the way?”

Silence. Did he fall asleep? Does it even work like that?

“...Uhhh, I might have fallen asleep cuddling with you.”

Adorable.

“T-thanks, Frisk.” Asriel shifted again. “So, do you want to talk about the actual nightmares? Maybe with two heads thinking about them we can figure out the root cause!”

“No, can we just-”

“These aren’t going to stop until you address them. I tried to ignore… Chara, for quite a while. Still get bad dreams about... Well, you know. Bu-”

“I’ll share, but only if you share first. You have nightmares, still, too?”

“Mhm. Chara steeled me against a lot of it but one or two get through my psyche occasionally. Just… of things I did, you know? Kind of like watching memories. Except I actually have feelings again, so it’s a bit of an unpleasant experience.”

“Az, I-”

Asriel propped himself up, resting his head on Frisk’s again. “I shared, now you share.”

Frisk gulped. Have to. He’s gonna read your mind, anyway. “It’s just… fear. It doesn’t make sense. It’s in the moment, like-”

“Like Chara.”

“Yeah. I know that it’s not real, I know that I’ll wake up and you’ll still be there, but it’s feeding into some kind of primal horror. The possibility of losing you, after everything, or what if something goes horribly wrong and I have to RESET, or a bunch of other things that don’t make sense, shouldn’t make sense, you know?”

“That’s the root problem.” Asriel sounded amused. Frisk was almost hurt. “You’re bearing too much responsibility, Frisk. You’re literally carrying the weight of everyone from the Underground on your shoulders. This is what all that bottling up gets you.”

“If you had this power, wouldn’t you do the same? Make sure everyone is OK? That everyone is safe?”

“I -did- have that power… Not with empathy, but I still had the same motive, for a while. That if I could keep everyone as happy as possible, I’d start to feel something. But you can’t be responsible for all of those people. They don’t need to be on your mind all the time.”

“I cost them years of happiness to get you.”

“Years of happiness they don’t know they missed. It’s subjective! Sans might know, but even then, he doesn’t really know. And you satisfied him anyway. Maybe you just… need to let fate take the wheel. Live in the here and now. If someone has something bad happen to them, we can course correct, but that’s something to do -then-. Don’t spend every waking moment considering it. You’ll go mad.”

“But what if somethi-”

Asriel tightened his arms. “No. No buts. Promise me that. Live in the here and now. Don’t worry about everyone all the time. Golly, Frisk, you’re all I can think about. Call me jealous, but I’d like that… uh, ‘obsession’, I guess? To be mutual.”

Frisk lit up. That’s what this was all about?

“No! I’m just concerned about you. I’ve seen what an urge to take care of everyone does. I’m not saying abandon your morals, or whatever. SAVE every day, do your wellness calls, that’s all fine. But I think some time of just flushing all that aside and living in the moment would be good.”

Read like a book.

“Hey, you wouldn’t talk to me in that bathroom. Didn’t we start this whole trip because you wanted to get away from it all?”

“...Yeah.”

“So can you do it? For me? I know it’s a tall order.”

“I’ll try.”

Asriel flopped back into the dirt and grass. “Good. That’s all I want.”

Frisk let loose another sigh and turned her gaze skyward once more. “We should do this dream thing again sometime. It’s nice.”

No answer. Frisk turned.

Out like a light. Must be tiring to maintain.

Oh well. Might as well join him.

“G’night, Az.”