Thread 104: Stories 76-84

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OOCO
>SA
"Chrysalis"
'Cadence'
[18]
{42}
~Celestia~
~~~~

>You're sure she's asleep? I don't want her walking in on a scary movie.

"You do realize she's a changeling, right? She has seen some shit, even if she's only about as old as a kindergartner."

>I try not to think about that...

'I don't like scary movies! Why are we watching this!?'

~Because I find it HI-larious.~



'I just don't like them!'

{Just hug Shining if it's a problem. He's got big arms.}

"...big... strong..."

[Tenderly holding.]

{...very warm arms...}

'...MINE!'

>GLK!

"[{Awwww!}]"

"She got to him first."

~Enough lamenting about Shiny's snuggling ability-which I assure you all is top tier-~

"HAX!"

~Now we begin the gruesome tale! MWAHHAHAHA!~

'EEEEEE-'
~~~

'-Eeeeee... this is so boring.'

>Preeettty boring, yeah.

[So boring.]

{...zzz...]

~It's a classic!~

>How old is this thing?

~It's not that old! It's only..... oh.~

>...
"..."
'...Need a minute?'

~...*Sniffle*...~

'Shiny, do the thing.'

>Doing the thing.

~Meeeeeppp...~

>There there, you're not old, you're classic!

"...Why are you all looking at me? I didn't even say anything!"

~You were thinking iiiittttt!~

[Chrysalis!]

{Too far!}

"You all realize this is just a way for her to win and get Shiny, right?"

'[{...}]'

~FOOLS! AHAHAHAH!~

>CADDY HELP-

*CRASH!*

'...what the fuck even.'

"HAH!"

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>32
"88"
'Acty'
~~~

>Stop.

"Are you serious? Look, buddy... because I can't, what's that like?"

'AHAHAHAH!'

>Stop this please.

"Hey, I understand, I can see the issue here... and that's about it."

'AHAHAHAH!'

>This is physically painful to watch.

"Wouldn't know!"

'AHAHAHAHAHAH!'

>I walked right into that one...

"Happens to me all the time."

'AHAHAHAH!'

>Uggghhhh! Just go back to watching that idiot juggle, that's far less painful than this.

"Pfft, juggling is stupid."

'...'

"...What's the matter? I have something on my face? Point it out really quick."

'...'

"...Uh..."

>Now you've done it.

"What? I just said juggling was stupid. Not like I saw him walking out of the shower."

'...'

"Okay, is he still here?"

>He is. He's also frowning.

"...How frowny?"

>I am shuffling away from him, that's how frowny.

"...Erm... I was enjoying the laughing, actually."

>He is not laughing now.

"That he's not...uh.."

'...'

"...I'm just jealous because I can't see it?"

'OH MY GOSH! I'M SO SORRY! I never even thought about that! Wow, WOW am I a dick, sorry!'

"Er, forgiven?"

'Nothing can be forgiven for being unsympathetic to those who can't see juggling, nothing.'

"...Well, if I spot a way, I'll tell you!"

'AHAHHAHHA!'

"Much better."

>...I'm afraid.

"We all are, I think there's something wrong with him. Can you take a look? I would, but I just keep finding the darkness in everyone."

'AHAHAHAHAHAH!'

"That last one was only kinda a joke..."

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>Chrysalis
"AJ"
'???'
~~~~

Sometimes she wondered if she was overly reliant on her flame teleportation. If, perhaps, she overused this technique, and that one day it would come back to bite her in the form of, say, magic cancer or something.

Then she remembered she could not care less, it was damn fun.

>HAH!... huh.

Ponyville was as she remembered it, save for the snow, in the brief times she had come down to this place. A quaint town with quaint lives with quaint things. Nothing special, nothing unique.

Except for this time, it seemed.

For, over there, there was a changeling.

Over there, there was another one.

So on and so on, scattered every which way and that, all by themselves, unsupervised, unseen.

"Was wonderin' when ya'll were gonna come show up."

Her eyebrow raised at how almost pleased the princess sounded. Perhaps she too could let a bit of smugness in every now and again.

>They're not being watched.

"Ahhhh, Ah'm keepin' a decent eye on 'em. But the whole point of it is ta' end up like... well, this. Where they just mingle around, do their own thing without bein' looked at funny, just, ya' know...'

~Be absorbed.~

That's what she heard in her head the instant the pony had stopped. They, as they were right now, were indistinguishable from any other Equestrian citizen.

That bothered her.

>So, they're not causing too much trouble, I take it?

"Nope. Couple of 'em got some problems with fire, but aside from that they're on the up and up. Heh, at this rate, we could probably have all of Equestria acceptin' them in no time. That one's even bein' offered a job."

>The gambling one?

"That's the one."

He would be helpful in a casino, the Queen realized. Able to read ponies to tell if they're lying, knowing how to hedge bets, knowing how to manipulate them into giving up more...

"So, what do ya' think?"

>...You're doing what you said you were going to do, I suppose?

"Darn tootin', mare of mah' word. And ain't none of 'em dead."

She couldn't complain, as she thought about it. Applejack was doing as she promised she would, achieving as she wished she would, doing everything she set out to do. Her subjects were being accepted. At this rate, within' the year, they could move into Equestrian society completely.

They could be absorbed, easily.

>...Tell me, Applejack, do you suppose the low numbers is one of the reasons that this is working so well?

"Well, hearin' it from most, they didn't know that the guys in the ballroom was essentially... ya' know, it. The end. Learnin' there ain't a whole horde of y'all out there probably helps a lot, yeah."

>Do you suppose that would change if we suddenly had more?

"Well, unless yer' thinkin' of spontaneously clonin' them, Ah' don't figure that's an option... yer' not, right? Please don't make Twi clone nobody."

She hadn't considered that, truthfully, but even she realized the genetic terror that would inflict.

>Actually, it's about Chitania.

It was so easy to slip back into lying again, the Queen noticed. It was like breathing, like simply being, nothing less. This was how she lived, every day before a year ago.

This was natural to her.

>Have you heard of her... issue?

"Issue?"

>She only had a single child. Unheard of, for a Queen.

"Oh... nope, hadn't heard that."

>Quite bothered her, as Thirteen tells it. So, I was wondering if perhaps I could convince Twilight to... say, help her out a bit. Maybe find what was wrong, and see if magic of this day and age can repair it?

"...oh?"

She was uneasy, plain to tell, but there was no backing out now.

>Oh yes, and if she was 'fixed', so to say, perhaps then she could have her own Hive, a real hive this time for herself, and then our numbers would positively bloom. We would have a massive influx very shortly.

"Ah... see."

>...Does this bother you?

She only needed look to see the answer to that one, but it was still something needed said aloud.

"Well, Ah' mean... would hate ta' say somethin' like that, guess she deserves medical treatment if there's somethin' wrong, same as everyone else, but..."

>But?

"...Ah' dunno. Feel like that would change things too fast, wouldn't it?"

It would, she admitted. It would change things instantly, and rapidly.

>And if, say, Chitania decided to strike it out on her own, form her own country with her new hive? Do you suppose that would unsettle everyone?

The slight tinge of white was all she needed to see.

"Look... a whole country under Chitania would be... well, it would be pretty... scary. She's bad enough, but a whole buncha them..."

>And, of course, their numbers would only bloom further if someone else took over for Chitania later. You could be looking at a massive city in two generations, at most. Of course, assuming it was Thirteen that took over, she would obey me and listen to my words, so you need not fear attack. Why, I might even bring my Hive to such a place, they would be quite revered in such. We would be out of your cities, but there would be... quite a lot of them. A whole country, teeming with changelings, from top to bottom. All of them under the command of the Queen, and free to go to any corner of Equestria they wished.

The fear was real.

"Well... well, look, Ah' ain't gonna stop ya' if ya' want to offer her a way to get fixed, course Ah'm not, ain't that cruel, but... maybe just think about it? Ah' know ya' want ta' have yer' own stake and everythin', but this might set stuff off too fast."

Before they could be integrated, she meant.

>Oh, of course. I'd never jump in to something like that too quickly.

"Good. That's... uh... that's a bit much, fer' me at least."

Funny, thought the Queen.

That wasn't even the tip of the iceberg, and yet she was already shaking. Idly, she wondered what she would look like, if she knew the reality of the situation was so, so much bigger.

If instead of one new hive, there were six. All under her command...

>Well, no need to dwell on it, we can take it slow. After all, Chitania is immortal like me, and we've only been here a year. Plenty of time to consider it.

"Yeah... plenty o' time. Yep! No need ta' rush stuff, lets just make sure yer' guys ain't gonna wreck nothin', okay?'"

>Of course. Well, I simply wanted to check in, I guess I'll be...

"..."

>...why is that changeling in a tree?... And please tell me that red is not blood.

'GET ME DOWN!'

"He's an apple."

>He's an apple?

'SHE MADE ME AN APPLE!'

>...He's a crappy apple, very loud.

"Yeah, don't think Ah'll put him in the bushel. Might just use him fer' fertilizer."

>Well as long as he's working hard.

'WHAT!?'

>Be a better apple, and maybe she'll put you in the bushel!

'...'

>Better!

"Much better."

>Applejack?...You're doing good.

She left before she could see her reaction. She didn't need to, nor really wished to. She knew. She knew the pony was smiling.

So why, instead... was she frowning?

>Plenty of time...

But perhaps less than she thought.

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OMAKEEEE
>Chrysalis
"AJ"
'??'
~~~

"Hrmmmm..."

>Not liking it?

"Ya' know what? Thinkin' on it, no. We shouldn't do that. Chitania absolutely cannot have sex."

'WAIT WHAT!?'

"... Was she just standin' there the whole time?"

>I think so.

'What the fuck!?'

"Ya' can't have sex, sorry, it's fer' the good o' changelings."

'Wha... how... the fuck are you even talking about!?'

"Am Ah' not clear? Ya' can't get fucked by some stallion, Ah' guess is the blunt way o' puttin' it."

'I wasn't even planning on that!'

"Great! Everythin's fine then."

'No, no no no, why the fuck is this even in question!?'

"We don't want ya' ta' have sex."

'WHAT!?'

>I'm not included in this.

'NOT BETTER!'

"Don't get fucked."

'...The FUCK is wrong with you two!?'

"Ah'm not seein' an issue so long as ya' don't have sex."

'WHY IS THIS A THING!?'

>I don't think there's much risk, who would have sex with that?

"Ya' gotta point there."

'OH FUCK YOU!'

"Perfectly acceptable."

'...WHAT!?'

>Mares are fine, she means.

'...I... I don't...'

>...
"..."

'...Screw it.'

FWOOSH!

'GRRRAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHH!'

SMASH!

"...Now why do ya' suppose she did that?"

>It's a mystery.

'GRAHHHHHHH!'

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OMAKE!
>29
"Luna"
~~

"And now, we present to you, YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!"

>...That's just Zecora and Marey. Is... is this supposed to frighten me?

"Ahhh, but there is a twist! Now..."

DING!

"THEY ARE ROYALS!"

>...go onnnnn.

"And they won't have sex with you, just each other."

>...

"And you can't watch."

>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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Omake!
>Chitty
"Sunset"
'AJ'
~~~~

"..."

>Oh great, its YOU again.


"...hmmm..."

>What is it? Haven't I made clear that your mere presence pisses me off?

"...no, no, you made that quite abundantly clear. You are quite forceful indeed."

>And that the only reason I am not crushing you is that I feel grateful for the return of my daughter?

"Oooh, yes. You were very threatening and mean about it, too."

>Then what the flying greenspit are you staring at? Leave.

"...you are a female... With the demeanour and personality of a VERY pushy dude."

>...huh?

"Muscles upon muscles. Constantly frowning. Reeking if testosterone. Kinda aggressive. Demanding. Driven... female with a male's look and attitude."

>Are you trying to insult m-

"We should totally fuck."

>...


"..."

>...


"..."

>I am going to kill you.

"Heh. Hahahaha... MWAHAHAHA! BRING IT, YOU HANDSOME BEAST!"

FWOOSH!

>GROOOAAAAA-

~~~~

'WWWWHHHAAAAAA-'

"Yeah. We had the most violent, rough hatesex ever recorded in Equestria."

>It was glorious. Blood everywhere.

'-AAAAAAAAAAAA-'

"Luckily, my body's current state allowed me to survive breeding with her. I think some parts of me that regenerated are still laying around the country though. Mind bagging them if you see any?"


'-AAAAAAAAAAAA-'

'Turns out, the rock in my chest made me Changeling compatible! Changelings apparently give birth to several dozens of hatchlings through eggs at once. Sometimes even hundreds! But I bet you knew that already."

>She has rather nice, childbearing hips.

'-AAAAAAAAAAAA-'

'Anyways. My Chittylovebug bought a whole country for our family. Can you believe that! A country, just for us. I'll be Queen, and she my handsome King. Well, that and the around 54 little Hatchlings calling me Mommy. I am so happy!"

>Stop swooning. It's annoying, love.

'-AAAAAAAAAAAA-'

'So I just wanted to let you know that I am vacating my spot as your student during my maternal leave. Not sure if I will come back no one has a very yanked my chain like she has... Haaah... Either way, we will be coming over with a contingent of our representatives once they're older. Baaaaaai, teacher! Say Hello to the princess for me!'

>Heh. Be seeing you... Very soon.

*Leave*

'-AAAAAT THE FLYIN' FUDGE DID JUS' HAPPEN?!'

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OmAkE
>Jetset
“007”
____

>So sources tell me you’ve been having yourself quite the time over here.

“I don’t think ‘time’ is an accurate enough description for all the shit that's been going down. And yourself? You’ve been pretty ghost these past few threads. You okay doing… whatever the hell it is you’re doing?”

>I’m… about the same as you. Just, you know, secret agent and all that, can’t show my process as blatantly as some.

“…"

>...

"...Most of them have forgotten you even existed.”

>Good. Makes for a greater return. Which I suspect will be next thread sometime.

“Really? You’re finally coming back?”

>I do believe so. I feel as if I’ve missed a great deal of things, and, if I remain conscious long enough, I’d like my queens to regale me of recent events.

“Yeah, you’ve missed quite a- wait… stay conscious? What’s that supposed to me… are you bleeding from the head?”

>…I’ve not had it easy.

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OMAKE!
>Fluttershy
"Discord"
'???'
[???]
~???~
-???-
~~~~

>More tea, Discord?

"Why, that would be delightful, thank you! Oh, and do pass me another one of those, what did you call them?"

>Blueberry-Boysenberry-Brightberry bagels!

"Oh, you! I take it you got the recipe from Pinkie?"

>Um, it's... actually mine.

"My goodness! Seems I'm having quite the influence on you!"

>Oh, stop... what a lovely day for tea.

"Isn't it just perfect?... Well, it was, until whoever moved this cloud in the light came around. How rude!"

>It is pretty... what-

'aaaaaaaaAHHHHHHHHHHH!'

The white body smacked into the table at high speeds, clearly dropped from quite high above, and was still.

>...
"... Huh. Don't see that everyday."

-WOOO! Look at that! Spinoff Pinkie Show, massive character development and a ten part story where I fix stuff! YEAH! YEAAHHH! I'M AWESOME! WOOOOO! CAN'T MASH THE DASH!-

'O-ow...'

-Oh shut up you, you got to get your piece, I even let you finish inside!-

"Cue far too many individuals with no chance crying..."

'M-my spiiiine.'

-Meh, don't care... so do I have to keep doing it with him?-

>Actually, it seems like you only have to do it the one. I did, and my stuff is still going. I even got to use my powers.

-PHEW! Good! Well... fuck off! And not on me this time!-

ZOOM!

>...Shiny? You okay?

'I was in the upper stratosphere.'

>Oh, um... she gets excited during.

"Speaking of excited, I see some soldier is still at attention."

>Oh no, did he... oh no! My bagels! He... oh my.

"Wow, okay, wow, hold on, I'm the lord of chaos, and even I find that wildly improbable. How did you SPEAR them? Several of them! That's just unlikely!"

>Oh, Shining, you're going to give someone another heart attack!

"..."

>You don't want to-

"I absolutely do."

>Well....

~~~~~~YEARS AGO~~~~~

'Heh heh... ohhh yeah, finally gonna get me some mouth action. Cadence fucking looooves quesadillas. Just gonna wrap you nice and tight... yep, there we go. Stay strong, buddy, if you stay upright and hold tight you will be richly rewarded with Caddy mouth time. Alright! Lets DO THIS THING!'

SLAM!

'Ohhhhh Caaaaddy...........'

[...........]

'...H-hi, Twilight! Um... this uh... this got stuck to my lap, and I-'

[AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

'Yeaahhh, didn't think that was going to work.'

~~~~

>She screams every time she sees a quesadilla now.

"...Huh... that's going to leave a complex."

>No, the weird thing is? When she calms down? She says she loves them, she doesn't even know why she screams. Stuffs them in her mouth two by two.

"...I'm not touching that one with a ten foot Freudian symbol."

'D-Discord, could you please-'

Snap!

'EEEEEeoooh... ow ow ow... kinda rough.'

"Oh, sorry."

'Uh... I'm also noticing I'm covered in stuff.'

"Yes, you are rather dirtying up this table."

>Oh dear, this will be so hard to wash... he's just... he's so messy...

'Annnd... I'm still, uh... spearing things? I was kind of hoping you'd send these to the whatever dimension too.'

"Are you mad!? Fluttershy worked very hard on those bagels!"

>...s-so hard...

'...So-'

"So they're clearly not going to waste! Fluttershy, come here deary, you take that end, I'll take this one."

'I'm not sure I-'

Despite his protests, the yellow mare ran around in front of him, and took her place next to Discord's head.

>They were very hard to make... so... hard.

"Quite hard."

'...You both get screentime, you don't have to-'

>I know!

"Well aware."

'...Wellll, okay, I guess this would be kinda new.'

"That's the spirit!"

He laid his hooves down on both heads, moving them towards the 'bagels.'

>O-oh myyyyy...

"Mmm... looks delicious. Ahhhh-"

>Ahhhhh-

>"AHM! Mmmmmm..."

'This is more like i-GLK!'

VRRP!

Before either could react, the stallion was pulled away by the rope around his neck, gone before they could blink. Leaving them with only two halves of a bagel in their mouths.

"...'
>...Damn it.
"FLUTTERSHY!"

Shining screamed, pulled down through canterlot, and off the side, through Everfree forest, going and going and going. Somehow hitting every rock on the way, and every tree, and every squirrel, just because.

'GLKAAHHHHHHHH!'

CRACK!

He came to a sudden, painful stop on the side of something tall, and wooden.

'Ohhhh, this is not my fucking day... hm? Where....'

~Hrmmm.~

'...Big Mac?'

~Eyyyyup.~

'How... how did you... how is the ROPE even...'

~...~

'Nevermind. Is there a reason you tried to hang me?'

~Ah' need yer' help.~

'Happy to help, but uh... what?'

~See, Ah' thought Ah' was gonna get screentime on account o' the episodes and the fact they're in Ponyville, but uh...~

'Well you are kind of hard to write.'

~Ah' say two words!~

'And be funny.'

~Well... Ah' kinda was hopin' ta' show up more this thread, but since Ah' didn't...~

'You need screentime?'

~Please?~

'Okay, look, like I say to everyone else, I can just ask them to-'

~Now don't ya'll be talkin' like that! Apples make sure they don't skimp when they owe dues. Iffin' this is what Mah sister had ta' do, this here is what Ah'll have ta' do! Ya'll can have yer'self some southern hospitality.~

'...Okay, just so you know, according to Discord, if you are pitching, you actually get NEGATIVE screen time for threads on end.'

~That's fine, Ah' like bein' a bottom anyway.~

'Wow, SO many questions.'

~Will ya' stop talkin' and get to it? Grease is there, flanks right there, hop on.~

'Welll... okay. Hup!'

~Grrn... Well, now that yer' back there, Ah' should probably tell ya'.~

'...t-tell me what?'

~Mah hips are way, way, way stronger than mah sisters.~

'...n-noooooo-'

CRACK!

'OH DEAR CELESTIA I FELT MY ILIUM CRACK!'

~Mmmm... hold on, city boy. HRK!~

'AHHHHHHHHHH!'

CRACK!

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OMAKE!
>AJ
"Mayor Mare."
~~

>Huh... this is a lot easier than Canterlot. Ah' wonder why?

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because there's been a changeling helping me actually improve this place for the better part of a year? What are they going to do, complain? He balances the budget for their roads!"

>...But he's an annoying shit.

"Yeah, which is why nobody hurts him. Took one look at them talking normal and they were happy."

>Oh.

"Yeah... fucking plebs, not understanding the joys of sexy talk."

>Er-

"I'm not joking, sexy talk is the best. You know what it's like to have him whisper overly complicated and needlessly stretched out and flowery words into your ear while he is on top of you and f-'

>HEY!

"-into the desk? It's amazing, Applejack, it's amazing."

>...

"...Zecora's better, though-"

>AND AH' AM OUT!

"Oh sure, that's where you draw the line..."

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