Okay go ahead and take your clothes off. Yes, everything. A gown? No, we don't do those here. Your body's getting examined. That's the point
(suppressing laughter) okay, good, now get on the table.
Just gonna.. get your feet secured in the stirrups here...  aaaand strap down your wrists. There we are.
What? That's standard procedure. Speaking of.. Just gonna open the door here. You see how the table faces the door? Yeah. That was intentional.
Oh hey Jim, check it out! Isn't she hot?
This is Jim, the custodian. I let him look in at patients sometimes. Wha? No, I'll send you the video later. The camera in this office is better than the one in your phone. Now go mop up Carrie's office.
Anyway, let's get down to business... Oh jeez, did you fire the gardener? Naw, I've gotta get rid of all this hair before I can examine you.
Now let's see.. I could wax you, but.. eh, that would take a while. I'm seeing your daughter next, right?
Nah I'll just use this depilatory foam. It burns a bit, but it's permanent.
Hey, watch it! You eat out your daughter with that mouth? More lip like that and I'll put this shit on your head too.
Okay, all clean and rinsed off. Let's get out our good friend.. you know this guy, right? The jaws of life? Biggest speculum I could find. Wasn't cheap. Worth it though.
(grunt) THERE we go. Huh? Well of course it's cold, I put it in the freezer. Jeez it's like you've never had a gyno exam before. Let's just crank that open.. Oh quit being a baby.
Hmm, cervix looks healthy. Alright then, wait til you see what else I have in the freezer...
See this? Yep, six guys filled this jar. Carrie loves giving her patients the hands-on experience.. and unlike you, they don't complain! Ungrateful little..  anyway, I-
What? No I'm not going to POUR it into you. What am I, six? I'm a doctor. I'm using a bulb syringe. You ARE ovulating, right? Let me see, it says on your form... yeah!
Man, you really signed this without reading it, didn't you? You actually authorized me to put footage of you online, with your name and address on it. I'm going to crop it carefully, but..
Oh quit your crying and take your insemination. We're not even done yet. There we go, Russian roulette time! Now to make sure it takes, I'll just leave this vibrator in you..
Oh, I almost forgot. Your injections! Okay this one, see this one's a powerful aphrodesiac.. this one makes you lose control of your bladder for about a week..  This one makes your tits smaller.. I think this one is straight up bee venom. I'll just put that in your clit..
Oh, and this is the best one. See it's a powerful hallucinogen and dissociative. You're going to have a really fucked up trip, and afterwards you won't remember anything that happened today. Might not even remember where you live, I dunno. Didn't bother weighing you.
Anyway, have fun. I'll see you in an hour!