Healing Kisses (ch5)

EARLY RELEASE FOR MY $30+ PATRONS!

This picks up directly after the event of the previous chapter, still tied to the "disappearance" theme. But honestly it's just more hurt/comfort and nightmares and idk how you people aren't sick of it yet but I'm sure as heck not.

Disclaimer: I do not own Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight.

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															Chapter 5.

Claudine and Maya curl up together tightly, almost desperately, unwilling to let one another go for anything tonight.

Claudine nestles her face into Maya's collar, keeping both arms locked securely around her back. Even once she falls fast asleep she won't let her go.

Whatever unease has been haunting them for the past several hours seems to have been fended off for the time being now that they are irrefutably together. But something tells her that even the smallest slip-up could allow for it to sneak in and snatch what's hers.

Maya's heart beats softly against her ear, undeniable proof that she's here, and she's staying.

"Good..." Claudine mumbles. "You'd better not leave me again... Don't you dare, Tendo Maya..." She doubts Maya can even make sense of her muffled comments, but she must be able to sense the insecurity in Claudine's tone, because her hands begin to card aimlessly through her hair.

"I promised you, did I not? That I will never leave you, Ma Claudine. If it would make you feel better, we can stay awake all night until sunrise so you don't have to let me out of your sight."

Her words truly do put Claudine at ease a little, but she can't let her know that.

"Hmph. Someone sounds a bit conceited, no? I believe you, all right? No need to lose sleep over it." She curls up more closely to her, fitting into the mold of her body. "If you need to go somewhere, then just take me with you. It's that simple."

"Oh?" Maya coos. "An invitation for me to whisk you away into the night? Be careful what you wish for, Saijou-san. I just may take you up on such a tempting offer."

"Fine, but not tonight. I'm exhausted."

"Of course." Maya presses a kiss into her hair, long and warm. "Bonne nuit, Ma Claudine."

"Bonne nuit, Ma Maya."

This time they really try to sleep, having said all they needed to.

Maya is the first to go. Claudine can feel her breathing as it becomes slow and deep – peaceful. She knows Claudine is with her and will stay as such. She trusts her to keep her word.

But Claudine just can't seem to find sleep. When she closes her eyes, she just keeps seeing fragments of the nightmare; the world where Maya Tendo didn't exist.

A nightmare is all it is, but as the hours keep passing by, the lines between dream and reality begin to blur.

She's so exhausted, both mentally and physically at this point. She can hardly make sense of anything anymore. When she opens her eyes she has Maya right there with her, soft and warm and close.

But as soon as she closes them and wakes into the other world, she finds herself cold and alone in an empty bed.

She's had her fair share of nightmares before, but this one is the most realistic. She can feel the chills of loss and loneliness lingering even after she's woken into reality. Even when she presses herself close to Maya to remind herself of what's real, it takes a long time for her to stop shaking.

At present, she's lost track of how many times she's attempted and failed restful sleep. The alarm clock on the nightstand reads painful numbers a little after 3AM, but she feels more awake and anxious than ever.

What she's found works best after waking up scared is to let Maya's heartbeat fill her head, to let her scent fill her lungs, to let the shape and warmth of her body sink into her skin.

Maya still rests calmly, without so much as a furrow in her brow. Claudine is glad for that much, but a part of her also wishes she'd wake to comfort her.

Claudine spends a long while this time recovering from the nightmares, trying to match her rapid breathing to Maya's slower pace. When she's finally able to move she eases back a few inches, peering up at her sleeping face. She still appears very peaceful, very calm and relaxed in her slumber. Claudine almost envies her.

Timidly, she reaches up to touch her cheek, feeling the difference in body temperature between her own clammy hands and Maya's soft skin.

"No fair..." Claudine mutters. "You can sleep like a log while I'm like this... You insufferable woman..." She says as much, but deep down she's relieved Maya, at least, can find some rest tonight.

Claudine waits a while longer, until she's too tired to keep her eyes open anymore. She leans up and steals a small kiss from Maya's lips. "You said you'd take me with you... I wish you'd bring me to wherever you are now..."

By this hour, nighttime has become early morning and Claudine hasn't slept collectively more than a few minutes' worth. She inhales deeply, slowly, and wraps her arms around Maya again, returning to her prior position huddled up against her.

Maya remains still and quiet, almost as if trapped in her deep sleep. If even Claudine's kiss hasn't woken her, she isn't sure what else can.

The thoughts of sleep-locked princesses and magical kisses swirl through Claudine's head as her eyes fall shut, hoping she'll dream of something a little less harmful, or nothing at all.

But where she finds herself is in no whimsical magical land. Instead it's the same horrible place – the world without Maya.

Claudine stands on-stage alone, with no one at her side. Voices echo through her head.

"Your skills are unmatched."

"No one could ever hope to surpass you."

"You are the Top Star."

The stage is wide and lonely. She should have someone at her side.

But there is no one to fill the void beside her, nor the one inside her heart.

She can't escape it.

No matter where she searches, she finds nothing.

No matter who she asks, she hears nothing.

No matter how loudly she screams, she feels nothing.

Nothing but this deep, gnawing hollowness that scrapes at her from the inside out.

She can't find Maya. She won't. No matter how hard she searches or how loud she cries. She'll never find her...

And even when the tiny bit of her conscience understands this is just another nightmare, she can't wake herself up from it this time.

She tries to pull herself up, but no matter how close to the surface she seems to get, something from the depths keeps dragging her back down. She screams a name again, but it only comes out as muffled static.

Dark waters fill her lungs and push her down further into darkness. She scrambles to remember that name again. She knows it. Deep in her heart she knows that name.

She's always with her, to the point where she's more or less inescapable.

Her partner. Her soul mate. Her other half.

If that person vanished – or never existed at all – then what reason does Claudine have to be alive...?

She tries to breathe, but more water suffocates her. She can feel its weight on her skin, this heavy crushing pressure of forgetfulness, toxic like a curse.

She says the name, but no sound comes, even though she knows she's said the correct thing.

Ma...

ya...

Maya sleeps deeply with Claudine beside her tonight.

In fact, she sleeps a little too deeply.

She sleeps well enough that she's aware of the fact that she's asleep, because the dream feels almost too good to be true.

Everywhere she goes and in everything she does, Claudine is with her. Stage plays and operas around the world, in various outfits and accents, they travel the world and act together as the most famous pair on earth.

And when they aren't on the stage, they enjoy the foreign wonders; the warm beaches, the modern luxury hotels, the most delectable cuisine, happily in love together...

It's simply perfect.

Some part of Maya knows it's all just a dream, but she almost wishes she'd never wake from it.

Almost.

Because when this Claudine touches her, she can't feel it, or when she speaks to her, she can't actually hear her voice. Just a few tiny faded pieces missing from the puzzle, but it's more than enough to ensure it can't possibly be complete. It's always just shy of perfection, just shy of reality...

"Ma... ya..."

And then, a voice that isn't from the land of sun-kissed beaches and exotic desserts. No one in such a wonderful dreamland could ever sound so terrified.

Without a second thought Maya relinquishes her hold on the pretty images and finds herself back in darkness. She hears a quivering voice choked with stifled sobs, small and broken.

At long last, Maya opens her eyes, finding herself back in her own room at some odd hour of the night. She's drawn instantly to the girl sitting up in bed beside her.

Claudine is hunched forward with her face buried in her hands, fighting for breath that won't come. Maya is up in an instant.

"Claudine-?"

The sound of her voice has Claudine gasping and looking up sharply.

"Ma-" She coughs, unable to finish the word around the ensuing sobs.

Maya just wraps both arms around her and pulls her close. She's shaking so much, as badly as she'd been earlier when Maya had found her here on the floor. Claudine tries to speak again, but it just comes out as more doubled-up coughs and whimpers. Maya squeezes tightly and holds her together.

"Shh... It's all right..." She leaves many kisses behind on Claudine's skin and all through her hair. "Ma pauvre, belle princesse... how long have you been like this? You haven't slept a wink, have you?"

It makes Maya a little angry, to know that all this time while Claudine had been suffering alone, she herself had been enjoying the most blissful slumber. It's a different kind of torture for Maya, because now she knows that awful guilt of not being there for her when she'd needed it most.

But she's here now, and she isn't about to let go anytime soon.

"I'm sorry. But you're safe now. Whatever you've seen in the nightmares isn't true. I haven't left you. I haven't disappeared. I've kept my promise to you, Ma Claudine. I will always be by your side."

Claudine can't reply with words just yet. She can only cling to Maya's nightgown with shivering fingers and refuse to let go.

The sounds of her distress are absolutely heartbreaking, perhaps even worse than they'd been earlier in the evening. Maya grits her teeth as a particularly loud wail escapes Claudine's lips. She pulls her closer, letting Claudine hide against her collar, tucking her beneath her chin as Maya curls over her.

"I'm sorry... to have let you suffer alone so terribly... when I was right beside you all the while..." She can think of only one way to repent for her crimes, as unintentional as they might have been.

For now she just holds Claudine, kissing her all the while, until the shaking ebbs away into just the occasional jolt from a hiccup. Maya eases herself back a little, supporting nearly all of her weight now.

Claudine can barely keep her eyes open. No matter how many times Maya gently wipes her sleeve across her flushed cheeks, the dampness never seems to dry up. Even in the darkness she can see the redness marring Claudine's skin. Her hair is a beautiful mess that no manner of gently-stroking fingers can help at the moment, and her nightgown is ruffled and smudged with droplets.

Maya feels that guilt swirling in her stomach again, but even more overpowering than that is the love, the urge to protect. She smiles, knowing it's unfair of her to do so when Claudine is so exhausted from her torment, but Maya simply can't help herself. She brings her close again, slipping her arms beneath both of Claudine's to support her, pressing in close.

"How can it be that you are this beautiful even in such disarray?"

She knows Claudine would've scolded her by now if she'd had even an ounce of energy left to do so. But as she is, Claudine can only whimper and sigh.

Maya keeps her close, feeling for the heavy beat of her pulse until it begins to soften. Claudine's quicker, shallow breathing finally slows into something a little more serene.

Maya has decided that she'll keep vigil for her now until morning. She'll protect her from any more nightmares that dare to come.

She holds Claudine a while longer, running both hands up and down her back, through her hair and across her shoulders. She isn't sure if Claudine is still conscious until a weak little whimper comes out. Maya kisses her forehead.

"Worry not, Ma Claudine. I won't let you suffer alone any longer. I will be here with you every step of the way."

Carefully, Maya shifts her weight, leaning forward as she lies Claudine down onto her back. Her silvery-blonde curls pool out across the pillow around her head like some ethereal goddess'. Maya dips down to plant kisses over her cheeks and her brow. Another tiny moan works its way up Claudine's throat, so tired and scared it sends a pang through Maya's chest.

"Rest now," she murmurs, kissing her lips sweetly. "I am here, Ma Claudine. I will always be here. I'm not going anywhere. I swear it."

She finds Claudine's hand and picks it up slowly, spreading her fingers apart gently so she may hook their pinky fingers together to seal the promise.

Claudine's eyelashes flutter, but she can't open them enough for Maya to be able to catch a glimpse of the beauty that lies beyond. She leans down over her and kisses the backs of her eyes, encouraging her to keep them closed.

"Rest," she murmurs. "I will be here when you wake, ma princesse."

Maya can tell the poor girl must not have a shred of strength left in her, because with one last sigh Claudine finally stills.

Maya keeps her pinky interlocked with hers for a moment longer, then gingerly slips away. She lies herself down onto her side facing Claudine and lightly drapes one arm across her stomach, resting her hand over her chest. Claudine's heart beats steadily beneath her palm. Maya commits its rhythm to memory, the pattern and pace of that fluttering, so she will know if it's ever disturbed in any way.

Maya had slept her half of the night, so she is wide awake now as she begins her vigil for Claudine's half.

She passes the time by admiring her sleeping partner; how the faint rays of moonlight highlight the silver curls of her hair and illuminate her skin in a soft white glow. Maya reaches out her free hand and begins to stroke the backs of her fingers lightly through Claudine's bangs, caressing her cheeks. She inches closer and leans down, trailing light kisses over her skin.

It's easy to get lost in her beauty, and even easier to get lulled in by the pattern of her breathing. Maya has to make conscious effort to keep herself from slipping asleep.

Claudine has only been resting for under an hour, and Maya had promised to watch over her until sunrise. She lets her mind wander, and ultimately it comes back to thoughts of what's been haunting Claudine and herself for the past twelve hours or so - this strange feeling like some twisted deja vu, where it feels like something bad might happen and they know it, but can't do anything to prevent it.

Something tells Maya they just have to make it until morning. Just a few more hours...

But as though thoughts of the strange feeling had caused something to occur, Maya feels a slight interruption in the fluttering beneath her palm. She looks over Claudine, moving closer, covering her as best she can. Her expression has become a little tighter, and her breathing has quickened just a bit. Maya dips over her and presses a long kiss to her forehead.

"It's all right. Everything is all right, Ma Claudine."

She hopes her voice alone can be enough to reach her.

But the movement beneath her hand suggests otherwise. Claudine's heart begins to pound harder, and her body begins to twitch and jolt every now and then.

Maya does her best to soothe her without waking her, to chase away whatever nightmares are plaguing her, hoping her voice can get through to her.

"It's all right," she murmurs. "I am here. I am right here beside you, Ma Claudine." She rubs her hand slowly over Claudine's collar, massaging over the aching pulse in an effort to ease her torment.

Maya continues for several moments, but Claudine's condition doesn't seem to be improving. It's when a tiny whimper chokes its way out that she decides it's gone far enough. Maya slips her free arm beneath Claudine's shoulders and lifts her up a few inches off the pillow, giving her a gentle shake.

"Claudine? Ma belle princesse, please wake up."

Maya kisses her lips softly and breaks the curse.

Claudine's chest heaves in a gasp as her eyes fly open, her arms already reaching out and clinging to Maya even before she fully comprehends what's happening.

"Ma... Maya... You're-"

"Shh... I am right here. I haven't left you. I promise."

Claudine sobs in relief, pulling Maya down over herself. Maya is careful not to crush her, once again bracing her weight on her arms on either side of Claudine's head.

Claudine does her best to force back the tears, but a few slip free anyway. Maya kisses them all away.

"Breathe," she whispers. "It's all right, Ma Claudine. I'm here. I'm right here."

Maya hushes her and pampers her with kisses until the heartbeat beneath hers has slowed once more. Claudine's head falls limply back onto the pillow, her eyes already shut again in agonized insomnia, her once-ragged breathing now meek and defeated.

"I can't-" she chokes. "M-Maya, I can't keep doing this... thinking you're-"

"Shh..." Maya kisses her lips to quiet her. "If you would prefer it, we can stay awake together until morning." She runs her fingers through Claudine's bangs, lightly massaging her temples and down the sides of her neck until she reaches her troubled heart. Maya traces circles over her chest, drawing the marks of her skin into hers. Claudine sighs, and it trembles just a little.

"I just... I don't understand what's happening... what is this awful feeling...?"

Maya nuzzles her cheek, planting more kisses along the way.

"I am not sure, either. Still there is an inkling in the back of my mind, a fear that you might... somehow forget me, or will want to... erase me..."

"No-" There's a hint of anger in Claudine's voice in spite of everything. Her eyes have become stern even in their heavy exhaustion. "I won't ever... not ever..."

"I know." Maya kisses her lips again, not wanting her to enervate herself even further. "I know you would never. I trust you more than anything." She pauses for a moment, resting her head over Claudine's heartbeat to listen. "I trust you, Ma Claudine. And I do hope that you know I would never leave you." She lifts her face once more to gaze deeply into her eyes. "Do you trust me?"

Claudine's expression falters like she's about to cry again.

"Of course I do... Of course I trust you... It's just that..." She tapers off, and Maya soothes her with a few more comforting kisses, waiting for her until she's ready. When she is, Claudine draws in another deep breath. "It's just that... in the face of whatever forces are in motion, trying to take you away from me... I fear my trust might not be enough... What if I'm not strong enough...?"

And even in spite of Claudine's anguish, Maya can't help but smile.

"But you are the strongest person I know, ma princesse. The trust you have in me is as strong as the trust I have in you, if not stronger. I am certain of it."

Perhaps they're just the words Claudine needs to hear, or close enough to suffice, because a spark of clarity lights in her eyes. Her once-desperate grip on Maya loosens just a little bit, enough to show that she doesn't feel the need to cling to her to keep her here; her trust that Maya won't leave her can be enough.

"You're... right..." Claudine closes her eyes and pulls Maya down over herself, folding both arms around her shoulders. "When I say I won't forget you, you trust me to keep my word. Therefore when you say you won't leave me, I trust you to keep yours."

"Exactament." Maya nudges herself into the crook of Claudine's neck. "No matter what the nightmares might entail, the reality will remain unchanged; I will still be here with you in the morning-"

"-And I will still remember your name." Claudine completes the sentence like a vow, holding a long kiss to Maya's cheek. "I'm sorry to have worried you and kept you up tonight..."

"I don't mind one bit. So long as you're all right."

"I will be," Claudine smiles. "Knowing you'll always be with me."

Maya's heart swells with joy and relief. She moves up to kiss Claudine's lips for a moment, letting it linger, savoring the heartbeat beneath her own. When she eases back she spends a moment brushing her fingers through Claudine's hair, gazing down at her with such love and adoration that Claudine has no choice but to close her eyes.

"A-All right then! Let's sleep."

"You first, ma princesse."

"Fine..." She huffs, which is a reassuring sign she's far less troubled now than she'd been previously. Claudine peeks one eye open again just to tell her the usual. "Bonne nuit, Ma Maya..."

"Bonne nuit, Ma Claudine, ma belle princesse, ma jolie-"

"A-All right! Thank you, goodnight!" Claudine turns herself over and huddles into the pillow. Maya chuckles and settles at her back, wrapping both arms around her from behind.

They remain that way for a moment, Maya pulling her in and letting her hands roam over Claudine's stomach to help her relax. But Claudine realizes she doesn't want to be facing away from her, especially tonight.

So she slowly turns over again, burrowing her face into Maya's shoulder. Maya kisses her head and keeps her warm.

She waits for Claudine to sleep first, and given how utterly drained she must be, it only takes a few minutes. Her breathing becomes slow and deep, and her heartbeat steadies out into a fearless rhythm.

Just to be safe, Maya stays up a while longer to ensure Claudine won't suffer anymore nightmares.

By the time she finally decides to sleep as well, the first rays of morning sunlight have begun to fill the room. Maya stifles a yawn and sighs into Claudine's hair.

"We're going to be too tired to move today..."

And her words and the early hour naturally rouse Claudine just for a second, though she doesn't even bother to open her eyes.

"We aren't getting up," she grumbles. "Not on your life..."

"That's fine by me."

At last the two of them curl up and sleep takes them. Morning comes as they always knew it would, and their torments slink off into the shadows.

Both girls sleep long peaceful hours, unbothered by troubled thoughts or scenarios.

And sure as they are, bound and fated like fairytale princesses, Claudine will never forget Maya, and Maya will never leave Claudine.

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A/N: And thus, this little cliche overdone nightmare/comfort tropes chapter will conclude my little 2-part 'disappearance' story. I read the game translations and I know my version is nothing like it (and I didn't intend it to be), with it not relating to the game plotline of the ghost opera and whatnot. But this was just a little take on one possibility, perhaps before the events of Maya's 'disappearance'.

In the next chapter I'll be doing another oneshot, something a bit more lighthearted!