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Null and Void

Aug 25th, 2013
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  1. >Day Null and Void in Equestria.
  2. >The sunlight peeks through the heavy curtains.
  3. >Is it that time already?
  4. >You decide to sleep for a few more minutes.
  5. >The body pillow you sleep with is unusually warm today.
  6. >You pull it closer to you.
  7. >It squeaks gently.
  8. >Squeaks?
  9. >You open an eye and see your arm draped over a white pony with a purple and rose mane.
  10. >Sweetie Belle must have gotten scared, and climbed onto your bed.
  11. >She should have known better than that.
  12. >What if anyone saw you?
  13. >Well that doesn’t matter now.
  14. >You decide to let her sleep a little longer.
  15. >You lift yourself up slightly to get a better look at her.
  16. >She is facing away from you.
  17. >She kind of looks like Rarity from this angle.
  18. >Maybe one day she will surpass her sister’s beauty...
  19. >True beauty doesn’t require elaborate hair styles of makeup.
  20. >Though what’s inside matters more.
  21. >Take Bon Bon for example:
  22. >She’s a bit of a plain mare, but she makes you laugh.
  23. >Even better she gets your sense of humor.
  24. >Most ponies find it abrasive, but you prefer to this of it as ironic, and allegorical.
  25. >They don’t understand the nuances, and usually they don’t stick around long enough to appreciate it.
  26. >But, if you ever had a chance with Bon Bon it’s long gone.
  27. >You’re sure that you are firmly in the friend zone, but you’re alright with that.
  28. >A friend is worth a lot more than a girl who will just end up breaking your heart.
  29. >Maybe that’s why you never made a move on Rarity.
  30. >Not that you ever had a chance with her.
  31. >But let’s say that you did – for the briefest moment.
  32. >You never pulled the trigger.
  33. >You remember how you spent a week analyzing and reimagining what you should have said.
  34. >How things could have gone differently.
  35. 1/11
  36. >That doesn’t matter now.
  37. >What does matter is this little bundle next to you.
  38. >With your free arm you measure her.
  39. >She’s not quite a mare but she will be very soon.
  40. >Sweetie Belle is very pretty from this angle.
  41. >You let go of her and roll onto your back.
  42. >She must have sensed you moving and rolls to face you.
  43. >Sweetie presses her forehooves against you and tries to snuggle into you.
  44. >Her face gently touches yours and she nuzzles you a few times before settling in.
  45. >She opens her mouth for a long yawn.
  46. >Her eyes open lazily.
  47. >”Good morning, Anon.”
  48. “Good morning, Sweetie Belle.”
  49. >”I don’t think I’ve ever slept that well.”
  50. >You consider for a moment before agreeing with her.
  51. “I slept really well too.”
  52. >She coos in approval and kisses you on the cheek.
  53. >”Anon, you’ve made me the happiest mare in the world.”
  54. “Yeah?”
  55. >”Mmm hmmm,” she says to reaffirm. “We should do that thing again…”
  56. >She couldn’t mean…
  57. >No you’re just thinking strange things again.
  58. >You only had a few beers last night.
  59. >There is no way that you two did anything.
  60. ”Do what?”
  61. >She giggles.
  62. >”You know. Consummate our marriage.”
  63. >What a strange thing to say.
  64. “We have to be married before we can consummate anything.”
  65. >She laughs at this.
  66. >”You’re so funny, Anon. We got married last night. Don’t you remember?”
  67. >Now you understand.
  68. >She’s playing a game.
  69. >No doubt you got roped into playing house or something.
  70. >You decide to play along.
  71. ”I remember now. You were wearing the most beautiful dress.”
  72. >”It wasn’t that nice. We had to borrow our clothes since it was so short notice. I just hope the pictures came out alright.”
  73. ”Of course they did. I spared no expense hiring a professional photographer.”
  74. >”Featherweight didn’t look like a professional to me.”
  75. “Give the kid a break. He was only there for the summer.”
  76. >”Yeah, you’re right.”
  77. 2/11
  78. >Her hoof makes a circle on your chest before she continues.
  79. >”I still can’t believe it. I can’t wait to tell the others.”
  80. “I guess we can’t keep it a secret forever.”
  81. >Though your eyes are closed, you can feel her nodding her head.
  82. >She inhales deeply.
  83. >”So how about it? Want to do it again?”
  84. “What?”
  85. >”Don’t be so coy, Anon. We’re past that.”
  86. >She rolls on her back and reminisces.
  87. >”You licked me like an animal. My heart is still beating so hard just thinking about it.”
  88. >She grabs your hand and puts it against her chest.
  89. >Just like she said it is beating strongly.
  90. >This is getting weird.
  91. >She looks at your lips, then back at you.
  92. >She pulls herself closer and kisses you on the lips.
  93. >You push her away.
  94. “What are you doing?”
  95. >”Don’t make me wait any longer, Anon.”
  96. >She tries to kiss you again but you hold her back.
  97. “That’s enough, Sweetie. I’m not playing anymore.”
  98. >You get up to use the bathroom.
  99. >When you return you find her pouting on the living room couch.
  100. >”Mom and Dad used to argue all the time too.”
  101. “I’m not arguing with you. You just can’t go around kissing men. Now, what do you want for breakfast?”
  102. >She ignores your question.
  103. >”I guess if you love somep-“
  104. “I already said I wasn’t going to play that game anymore.”
  105. >”It’s not a game. We got married last night.”
  106. >You pour her a bowl of cereal.
  107. ”That never happened. You probably had a vivid dream or something.”
  108. >”What do you remember from last night?”
  109. >You sit at the table and start eating.
  110. >She joins you a moment later.
  111. >
  112. >
  113. >12 hours ago.
  114. “No. Can’t you find someone else to watch her?”
  115. >”As if I hadn’t tried. Of course I did. Besides, what is so important that you can’t watch Sweetie Belle?”
  116. “I’m a busy man, Rarity. I do things.”
  117. 3/11
  118. >”You mean you’re going to drink alone again?”
  119. >You only drink two nights a week. Saturdays you hang out with ponies, and on Fridays you drink alone to unwind.
  120. >Rarity trots past you and Sweetie enters close behind.
  121. >She looks around.
  122. >”Don’t you ever clean?” After a moment she adds, “Don’t answer that.”
  123. >It is clean, just not neat.
  124. >There is a difference.
  125. >”I wasn’t expecting company.”
  126. >”You should always keep your home in a welcoming condition. Anyway Sweetie Belle won’t bother your –“ Rarity looks for the word. “Meditation.”
  127. >”It’s going to be lots of fun, Anon.” Sweetie chimes in.
  128. >”See? It’s going to lots of fun,” Rarity repeats. “I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon.”
  129. >She doesn’t wait for you to respond.
  130. >The door quickly closes behind her.
  131. >Sweetie looks at you expectantly.
  132. >You know she’s had a crush on you for as long as you’ve known her.
  133. >Love at first sight.
  134. “Have you had dinner already?”
  135. >”Yeah, I just ate, and Rarity gave me some snacks.”
  136. >She opens up her saddle bags to reveal a few treats.
  137. “Alright, you can stay in the guest room.”
  138. >It’s more of an office with a futon.
  139. >As she does that you open another beer.
  140. “Want to watch a movie?”
  141. >”Sure, what do you have?” She yells from the other room.
  142. >”Lets see…” you say as you up the cabinet.
  143. >Some interracial porn is sitting on top.
  144. >It was a gift from Bon Bon.
  145. >It’s not like you collect that stuff or anything.
  146. >You hide it under the entertainment center.
  147. ”What are you in the mood for?”
  148. >”I don’t know,” she says as she returns.
  149. “What about Daring Do and the Celestial Stone?”
  150. >”That’s for little fillies.”
  151. 4/11
  152. >You don’t say anything.
  153. >She grabs a title and shows it to you.
  154. >”What about this?”
  155. “Diary of a Batpony? That movie is pretty graphic.”
  156. >She ignores you and puts it in.
  157. >”Pfft, Dad lets me watch R rated movies all the time.”
  158. >It’s not your place to disagree with their parenting.
  159. “Fine, don’t complain about it later.”
  160. >
  161. >You both watch with wide eyes as the bat pony molests an earth mare.
  162. >Sweetie breathes heavily against you as the batpony mounts her.
  163. >The earth pony moans loudly as he defiles her little body.
  164. “I don’t remember this scene.”
  165. >Sweetie shushes you as she stares intently at the scene.
  166. >
  167. >A few scenes later and it’s over.
  168. >“That was awesome.”
  169. ”You only liked the dirty parts.”
  170. >”Did not.”
  171. “Sure.”
  172. >”Hey, Anon. Look at what I have.”
  173. >She brings out her bag of snacks, and pulls out a small bottle.
  174. >It’s a single malt.
  175. >She greedily takes a long swig before passing it to you.
  176. >”Smooth.”
  177. >
  178. >
  179. ”And then we went to sleep,” you lie.
  180. >The truth is, rest of your memory is hazy.
  181. >You start clearing the table.
  182. >Sweetie smirks.
  183. >”You got the first part right, but we didn’t go to sleep. I remember it more like this.”
  184. >
  185. >
  186. >Be Sweetie Belle.
  187. >Sweet Celestia he actually drank it.
  188. >You saved your bits for the last few months to buy some love potion from Zecora.
  189. >Zecora listened as you told her t that Rarity sent you to buy it.
  190. >She was skeptical at first, but relented after a quick outburst.
  191. >You learned from the best.
  192. >Anon doesn’t seem to mind that you have been leaning against him during the whole movie.
  193. >He even put an arm around you during the scary parts.
  194. >Even though you dropped several hints that you like him, he never made a move.
  195. >He’s just scared.
  196. >A little push and he will be yours.
  197. “So, do you have a special somepony?”
  198. >His hand idly pets your mane.
  199. 5/11
  200. >”I’m kind of … in between relationships right now.”
  201. >You know the truth though.
  202. >Anon hasn’t had a special somepony in a while.
  203. >He probably deluded himself into thinking that he is saving himself for just the right one.
  204. >You’re going to be that pony.
  205. >Maybe a dirty movie will be the next move.
  206. >You quickly dismiss this thought.
  207. >If you get up, you might not have another chance to be in his arms.
  208. >Why hasn’t your potion kicked in yet?
  209. >He should be begging to be yours by now.
  210. >”You know, Anon, I really like you.”
  211. >He turns to you and smiles.
  212. >”I like you too, Sweetie.”
  213. “No. I mean I really like you.”
  214. >He looks at you confused.
  215. >”Just kiss me you idiot.”
  216. >You pull yourself up to him and steal a kiss.
  217. >It takes a moment for him to react.
  218. >His eyes shimmer slightly, and he pulls you back into him.
  219. >He kisses you deeply.
  220. “See, that wasn’t so hard was it?
  221. >The magic has finally shown itself, and he kisses you again.
  222. “I’ve waited so long for this, Anon.”
  223. >”I can’t believe I didn’t realize before.”
  224. >He takes you in his arms and gently places you on your back.
  225. >His hands explore your little body.
  226. >One goes a bit too low, and brushes against your marehood.
  227. “That’s enough, Anon.”
  228. >He ignores you and tries to put a finger in.
  229. >As much as you want this to happen, you have to finish your plan.
  230. “Stop!”
  231. >You buck him in his chest.
  232. >You hope you didn’t kick him too hard.
  233. “That’s only for married ponies,” you explain.
  234. >”Then we’ll get married. I love you, Sweetie Belle.”
  235. ”Anon, that is the worst proposal I’ve ever heard.”
  236. >He frowns, clearly frustrated.
  237. “Try again and make it romantic this time.”
  238. >Anon gets off the couch and kneels in front of you.
  239. 6/11
  240. >”Sweetie Belle?”
  241. ”Yes, Anon?”
  242. >He looks into your eyes.
  243. >”We’ve known each other for a long time. I’ve only just realized my feeling for you. You complete me. I know that I will never be good enough for you, but I hope that you will be able to see past that. Sweetie Belle, will you do the honor of marrying me?”
  244. >
  245. >
  246. >”That’s BS. I would never say that.”
  247. ”I didn’t interrupt you when you were telling your version.”
  248. >Anon frowns and waves a hand as if to say, “go on.”
  249. “Now where was I? Oh yeah.”
  250. >
  251. >
  252. ”Of course I will marry you.”
  253. >And you shared the most passionate kiss you’ve ever had.
  254. >Anon pulls back.
  255. >His eyes are half lidded.
  256. >”What about next month?”
  257. “Why wait? Let’s do it tonight.”
  258. >Anon nods in agreement.
  259. >
  260. >When you arrive, the chapel is closed.
  261. ”Hey let us in!”
  262. >You bang on the door.
  263. >You hear hooves clopping behind.
  264. >The door opens to show the preacher pony.
  265. >”Don’t you know what time it is?”
  266. “Yes, but this is an emergency! Anon doesn’t have any papers, and he is going to be deported tomorrow unless we get married.”
  267. >”I’m sorry but I can’t help you. You need to go through marriage counseling first.”
  268. >Everything was going so well and now you’ve blown it.
  269. >You feel your eyes starting to water.
  270. >Better go for it.
  271. >Rarity taught you how to cry on command.
  272. >She said that it makes controlling stallions easier.
  273. ”Why did this have to happen, Anon?” you lament. “I loved you and now I’ll never see you ever again.”
  274. >You gesture at him to play along and he tries to comfort you.
  275. >”Now, I’m sure once Anon goes back to… uh, where are you from again?”
  276. >”Earth.”
  277. >”Right – when he gets back to Earth you’ll be able to visit him.”
  278. >You look at him with what you know to be bloodshot eyes.
  279. ”Earth is very far away. Anon saved up for years to see me. I won’t be able to afford going there.”
  280. >You see his heart breaking.
  281. >He shakes his head.
  282. 7/11
  283. >”But you don’t even have any witnesses.”
  284. A light flashes and you took to your right.
  285. >It’s Featherweight holding his camera.
  286. >”Hey, want to make a few bits?”, You say, no longer crying.
  287. >”Are you getting married?”
  288. “What does it look like?”
  289. >”Rarity wouldn’t like that.”
  290. >You sneer at him.
  291. >”Let me worry about that. You want some bits or what?”
  292. >He shrugs and enters the chapel with you.
  293. >
  294. >It only takes a few minutes to put on the borrowed white dress.
  295. >The dress is loose, but that’s alright.
  296. >Anon comes out wearing a coat that a little too tight.
  297. >It will have to do.
  298. >Now that you are in the light, the preacher gets a better look at you.
  299. >He adjusts his glasses.
  300. >”Are you sure you’re old enough for this?”
  301. >You frown at him.
  302. “Please don’t make fun of my height. I’ve always been teased about it,” you lie.
  303. >He nods slowly, clearing buying your story.
  304. >”Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…”
  305. >He continues for a while, but you don’t pay attention.
  306. >You can’t stop looking at Anon.
  307. >Soon he will be yours.
  308. >His half lidded eyes tell you that he also needs this.
  309. >”Do you, Anon, take –“
  310. >”I do.”
  311. >”I wasn’t quite finished yet, but that’s alright.”
  312. >He turns to you.
  313. >”And do you-“
  314. >”Yes!”
  315. >The preacher presses his lips together.
  316. >”Then by the power invested in me, I declare you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride.”
  317. >You leap into Anon’s arms and kiss.
  318. >It’s a very tasteful one.
  319. >The preacher pulls out some paperwork.
  320. >”Now I just need you to sign here and here. Featherweight, you also have the sign as a witness.”
  321. >It only takes a few moments to sign, before the preacher pony embosses the certificate with Celestia’s seal.
  322. >”Now, for the 15 bit filing fee.”
  323. >Anon pays off Featherweight and the preacher.
  324. >He then carries you home.
  325. 8/11
  326. >
  327. >Anon throws you on the bed with a pomf.
  328. >”What are we going to do on the bed, Anon?”
  329. >He just chuckles.
  330. >He removes his shirt slowly.
  331. >You adjust your mane.
  332. >You want to look perfect for him.
  333. >He carefully places his pants on the dresser.
  334. >His member pokes through his underwear.
  335. >Anon doesn’t waste any time and quickly mounts you.
  336. >You saved yourself for him, and now you will finally know what being loved feel like.
  337. >He lines himself up.
  338. >You don’t think that it will fit.
  339. >Still he presses against you.
  340. >His throbbing member –
  341. >
  342. >
  343. >Be Anon.
  344. ”Whoa, Whoa. This is starting to get graphic. Can’t you just say, ‘and then we made love?’”
  345. >“That’s what I was going to say!”
  346. ”It didn’t sound like it. You were getting awful descriptive to end like that.”
  347. >“Anon, are you telling this story or am I?”
  348. ”You are,” you concede.
  349. >“Would you prefer if I told you it from your perspective?”
  350. ”Is this what they are teaching in school now?”
  351. >“If you’re going to be like that then I won’t tell you the rest.”
  352. >You wouldn’t mind hearing some smut, but not when a filly is telling it.
  353. >You’ve wasted enough time with this.
  354. “I know you like me, and that’s fine. It’s normal for a girl to have a crush,” you say, trying to not sound condescending.
  355. >You turn to her, and try to break her story gently.
  356. ”So first of all, your story has some flaws. Let’s say that you got a love potion, and even tricked me into marrying you. Where is the evidence? Where is the certificate? Where are the pictures?”
  357. >”You had the certificate last. You should remember where you put it.”
  358. >She still thinks it happened.
  359. ”Oh that’s right, I have amnesia because of your love potion,” you say mockingly.
  360. >“Zecora didn’t tell me there would be any side effects.”
  361. ”Of course not.”
  362. 9/11
  363. >“And we only got one ponyoid picture. The rest should arrive a few days from now.”
  364. ”Where is that then?”
  365. >“It was with the certificate.”
  366. ”Sure… I liked the bit about the church being closed, and how you cried to get your way. But there is no way that he thought you were old enough. He isn’t that blind.”
  367. >”He can barely see past his own hooves.”
  368. >You are starting to lose your patience with her.
  369. ”Here’s what really happened Sweetie.”
  370. >You pace around the room.
  371. ”You arrived at about 7pm. We watched a two hour movie, and you started to drink around 9pm. You then went to sleep and had a vivid dream. Sometime later you woke up and climbed into bed with me. That’s all.”
  372. >You start raising your voice.
  373. ”All of the rest is nonsense.”
  374. >”But it did happen, Anon.”
  375. “Nothing happened, Sweetie. Even if it did, it’s not like any of that can be upheld. You claim you drugged me, right? So that right there would prove that any marriage – if any existed – is null and void.”
  376. >”Anon, I just wanted us to be happy.”
  377. “I’m done talking about this.”
  378. >”Anon, we did –“
  379. “I said that’s it. I don’t want to hear anymore. You’ve already wasted enough of my time with this fantasy.”
  380. >”Why won’t you listen to me?”
  381. >You grab her and push her against the wall.
  382. “Sweetie Belle. If I ever hear about this again I will never talk to you. Do you understand?”
  383. >She nods.
  384. >You can tell she’s trying not to cry, but it’s a losing battle.
  385. >Soon enough she’s whimpering on the couch.
  386. >You try to ignore her, but it’s nearly impossible.
  387. >The door chimes.
  388. >Fucking finally.
  389. >You open the door to reveal Rarity.
  390. >”Hello, Anon… I’m here to – why is Sweetie crying?”
  391. 10/11
  392. “It’s a long story.”
  393. >Anon, you can’t even watch over Sweetie Belle for one night without making her cry?”
  394. “You said she wasn’t going to cause any trouble.”
  395. >”I’m sure she didn't. You’re the problem. You must like pushing little fillies around.”
  396. “You didn’t have to listen to her for the last few hours. She had a vivid dream and thinks that we got married last night. She spent the whole day trying to convince me that it actually happened. I told her to stop, and now you’re here.”
  397. >Rarity thinks over your explanation.
  398. >”She always had an active imagination. Sweetie Belle, it’s time to go.”
  399. >Sweetie gets up and grabs her pack.
  400. >She trots to the door and stops before exiting.
  401. >”Anon - ”
  402. ”Don’t.”
  403. >She takes a deep breath to calm herself down.
  404. >Sweetie tries to put forward a brave face and says, ”I’m sorry.”
  405. >And then she leaves.
  406. >Rarity starts to say something, but stops herself.
  407. >After a moment she says simply, “Thank you for watching her.”
  408. >You just nod slowly.
  409. >Rarity closes the door behind her.
  410. 11/12
  411. >You start cleaning up.
  412. >Though you try to think of other things, Sweetie’s dream keeps coming up.
  413. >This annoys you even more.
  414. >Why can’t you just live a normal life?
  415. >You pick up a stack of papers.
  416. >They are mostly bills and junk mail.
  417. >You don’t remember a blue folder.
  418. >When you pick it, up a ponyoid picture falls out.
  419. >You flip it over.
  420. >It’s a picture of you and Sweetie Belle in front of an altar.
  421. >Sweetie must have had help making this.
  422. >You open up the folder and you see a certificate.
  423. >One of the signatures is Anon Ymous.
  424. >You don't think she's ever seen your signature.
  425. >Did it really happen?
  426. >You sit down to examine it closer.
  427. >The Y is crooked, and the s trails too far.
  428. >This is definitely your signature.
  429. >She drugged you.
  430. >She made you do this...
  431. >No.
  432. >Even if it were real, you would be run out of town for being a filly fooler.
  433. >You take a deep breath.
  434. >When your mind clears, you close the folder, and put it under the bills.
  435. >It never happened.
  436. fin
  437. 12/12
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