Danna - Today at 7:25 AM
I don't know why, but I feel like I've upset you. It's just this bad feeling I have in my chest, that I did something wrong. Most likely from yesterday, and I can't shake this feeling. I ended up saying sorry to Midge last night, and talked it over with her. I don't know why I'm behaving like this, I don't have an excuse or explanation... I guess I just wanted to say sorry, and my brain is going a 1000 miles a minute.
Dei - Today at 7:26 AM
I'm just worried about you. You won't talk to me and something is clearly bothering you but I don't know what I can do to help. But doing the whole 'Haha I'm unstable' thing and then not answering me when I ask questions is a little annoying. It feels like you just want a reaction out of me
Danna - Today at 7:27 AM
The honest truth is, I'm scared of the answer you will give me.
Dei - Today at 7:27 AM
That all depends on what you want to ask me Danna
But you know I don't beat around the bush. That shit annoys me
Danna - Today at 7:31 AM
I'm honestly just a coward, who can't confront her own damn feelings. Cause I'm scared of the possible riff it may cause. Or that I will push you away. I feel like I am at complete war with myself. But ultimately, I guess your answer would honestly just push me to face reality.

What exactly am I to you?
Dei - Today at 7:33 AM
You're many things to me. But if you want the simple answer; you're my best friend. If I've overstepped any boundaries then I'm sorry for that
Danna - Today at 7:34 AM
I knew deep down that would be your answer, but I guess it's still something I needed to hear.
Dei - Today at 7:34 AM
There isn't a term more powerful than 'best friend' that i can think of that doesn't go into lovers
But you mean a great deal to me and I love you dearly.
Danna - Today at 7:35 AM
But, you don't love me like that anymore. Like how I still love you.
Midgie says I need to accept that as my new reality, and try and move on.
Dei - Today at 7:38 AM
...Would me leaving make it easier for you? It can't be easy when you have to see me every day.
Danna - Today at 7:39 AM
Midgie did suggest we needed space from each other. But I don't know how well I can honestly do that. But I guess that's part of the problem, how dependent I still am of you. I don't want you to leave Dei, I know that for certain. Thats why my answer as of lately has been "I just need to get over it." Because I'm the one still hung up on this.
Dei - Today at 7:43 AM
I'm not even sure how to respond to that
Danna - Today at 7:43 AM
I'm sorry...
Dei - Today at 7:43 AM
It's not your fault, I'm not hurt or angry. I just don't deal with situations like this very often
Danna - Today at 7:44 AM
If you do want space, I understand completely(edited)
Dei - Today at 7:44 AM
I suppose one thing I should tell you is it isn't as one-sided as you might think it is
I have my fears and doubts as well, but the difference between you and I is that I don't let them swallow me up.
That's not a dig at you, it's more of a statement than anything
I know you're dependent on me. And that's okay. I'm okay with that because it means I always have someone to talk to, someone I like talking to, someone who, despite me being an introverted fuck, I could talk to for days at a time. I'm absolutely terrified of you becoming independent from me. And as shitty as that sounds, or controlling or manipulative it sounds, I'm terrified of you meeting someone at your new job, and you falling in love with them and leaving me behind. That's a genuine worry I have. So I guess my point here is that, I'm worried too. Because who the fuck am I without Danna?
So if it's any solidarity, I'm not over it either. Not yet.
Danna - Today at 7:51 AM
Then what are we supposed to do with this out in the air?
Dei - Today at 7:51 AM
I don't know
Putting space between us doesn't work because I have no concept of doing things in moderation
Danna - Today at 7:52 AM
I honestly don't want to put space between us
Dei - Today at 7:52 AM
Like I physically can't do it I either love you or I hate you that's it
Neither do I, it never works
Danna - Today at 7:54 AM
I just am not sure what to do. I can't see myself dating anyone else, doing shit off the rebound isn't my thing.
In all honesty, I don't want to date anyone else(edited)
I don't think I'd ever actually attract anyone in real life, for that potentiality in the first place.
I guess I'm just trying to say, you honestly don't need to worry about me falling in love with someone else.
Dei - Today at 7:57 AM
I see
Danna - Today at 7:59 AM
I'm not sure what else to say... I guess im just going to have to move on forward with us just being friends.
Dei - Today at 8:01 AM
...If we were to get back together; what would be different?
Danna - Today at 8:04 AM
In all honesty, I'm not sure. I want to say I myself would be different. You broke up with me because you were unhappy with me, I wasn't making any progress. I know mentally and emotionally. I'm still a fucked up mess. But, with this new job, I want to hope that things are starting to become different. Having responsibility, that independence. Not being as reliant on you to provide for us.

You once asked me what you were getting out of the relationship, and at the time. You honestly were not getting much, which was unfair of me. But this time, I would contribute as much as I could.
I know you have goals to travel, and I think that is great
I guess I just need to figure out what are mine
Dei - Today at 8:08 AM
It isn't about material things. You know I don't care about that shit so long as I'm not getting taken advantage of.

You being independent is important to me. With your job, I know you can do that. You gotta stick at it, give it about a year. You know what? I won't even say a year. Until that first paycheck. Everything will change. You'll start feeling a lot better in yourself and by the time a year rolls round, you won't even be the same person, believe me.
The hard part is seeing it through. Your job is gonna piss you off, there are gonna be times where you're like "Y'know what? Fuck this, I'm gonna quit." But you never do. You just rant to someone and feel better and sleep on it. And then you do it again. You have a good opportunity here, don't throw it away
Danna - Today at 8:11 AM
My goals right now, will be to pay of my student loans. I can't throw this away, or let it get the best of me.
I just know, if we did get back together. Things won't just fix and be all better. It would take some work, to get back to where we used to be. My thinking was, I would do anything to get back to that. And while I do still feel that way. I know I also need to do this for myself, or I will be stuck in the same place forever. And neither of us want that.
Dei - Today at 8:14 AM
But it would stop all this emotional turmoil, yes?
Of course, it wouldn't just be for the sake of that, but it's a plus
Danna - Today at 8:15 AM
I wouldn't want you to get back with me for my sake ---- I don't want to be that sort of burden to you.
I love you Dei, and honestly nothing would make me happier. But. Only if it's genuine. I don't want you to feel trapped, or obligated. If you take me back, it's because you want me back.
No other reason then that
Dei - Today at 8:16 AM
Me, with my dumb Cool Guy™ attitude: Heh... I guess.
Me irl: (in tears) Please
No but for real. I love you too.
Danna - Today at 8:17 AM
You mean so much to me Dei
Dei - Today at 8:17 AM
Besides. Traveling alone is boring as fuck
Danna - Today at 8:17 AM
You'd want me to travel with you? Q///Q
Dei - Today at 8:17 AM
Of course
If I'm taking anyone it's you
Danna - Today at 8:17 AM
God the tears are very real right now
Dei - Today at 8:18 AM
It gives me a chance to get you away from that bastard of a family you have
No offense
Danna - Today at 8:18 AM
none taken
they are a collective bastard
Dei - Today at 8:19 AM
After this Florida trip you're gonna become my priority. I'll come and see you next
Danna - Today at 8:19 AM
I still want to go to London to see you as well
Sounds stupid, but I do wanna ride on the double decker busses, at least once (1)
thats just always been a goal of mine, idkw
Dei - Today at 8:20 AM
They're not as exciting as you think
Danna - Today at 8:20 AM
no you don't understand
I love being up high like that
Dei - Today at 8:20 AM
So do I but
The novelty wears ofr
Off*
Danna - Today at 8:21 AM
I know, but it's like a bucket list thing? Ya feel?
Dei - Today at 8:21 AM
Absolutely
Danna - Today at 8:21 AM
Also, just being in London sounds fun
Dei - Today at 8:21 AM
We can go on that aquarium date
Danna - Today at 8:22 AM
FISH
Dei - Today at 8:22 AM
PISH
Danna - Today at 8:22 AM
When you do come down to Oregon, imma take you to the coast, they have pretty cool stuff.
Dei - Today at 8:22 AM
H
Danna - Today at 8:22 AM
They have a wax museum, the aquarium, they have the sea lion caves
there just a bunch of stuff to do
Dei - Today at 8:23 AM
O:
Danna - Today at 8:23 AM
Also, call my cheesy af. But I've always wanted to walk down the beach barefoot with someone
the hopeless romantic in me is crying
Dei - Today at 8:23 AM
God you're embarrassing
Danna - Today at 8:23 AM
Yeah
Dei - Today at 8:23 AM
But I'll indulge
Danna - Today at 8:23 AM
We can pick up sea shells :ooo
Dei - Today at 8:24 AM
Also fair warning I'm really fucking annoying irl
Danna - Today at 8:24 AM
I will indulge your inner Deidara, we will look for them naiz rocks
and you think im not?
Dei - Today at 8:25 AM
If you were any kind of annoying I wouldn't hang out with you
Danna - Today at 8:25 AM
Pshhhtt
Dei - Today at 8:25 AM
So yeah uh. (pulls out a nice shiny rock) Will you like. Be my girlfriend again?
Danna - Today at 8:26 AM
(accepts the shiny rock) You know the answer is going to be yes. I love you Dei, I promise things will be different this time.
Dei - Today at 8:27 AM
I love you too
Bitch
Danna - Today at 8:27 AM
you aint ever gonna stop loving me?
bitch?
Dei - Today at 8:27 AM
I ain't ever gon stop loving u
Biiiitch
Me, internally: Danna can't get with anyone else if she's with me