Lil Wayne is My Sister - Sexism/TV/Shock value

My sister just had a baby recently. Although she is 25, I was surprised that she wasn’t contacted by MTV to be on 16 and Pregnant, or Teen Mom, or whatever they’re doing these days. She’s basically a 16 year old; she lives at our mom’s house, she works part time at a small pet shop (staffed exclusively with 16 year olds), and she thinks Gone With the Wind is historically accurate. Also, half of each of her paychecks goes to pot, so hopefully her baby is really into weed. I wish I had weed when I was a baby, my parents only gave me cigarettes that they put out on my arm. My sister hates when I say this shit about her, because obviously it’s very rude of me. Last time she overheard me talking about her working part time at a pet shop she couldn’t hold herself back from refuting me, “Uh, I also work on a haunted boat every October.” Good point, sis. That is indeed a very adult occupation. Unfortunately, the entirety of those paychecks goes towards pot, because that’s what pay surpluses are to her: a pot bonus. Like the kind you get when you sit through all of your dealer’s rap demos and act like they aren’t terrible. Does that only happen to me? What is it about me that says to pot dealers, “I want to hear your shitty demos.” My sister does smoke a lot of weed, though. Not like I don’t, I’m just cooler about it, in my opinion. She smokes so much that she has perfected the art of rolling a blunt while driving her SUV; hopefully this is not something that she does now that there’s a baby in the picture. A baby which she named Holden, by the way; not Holden as in Holden Caulfield from the so and so coming of age novel Catcher in the Rye, but Holden as in, “Hey bro, you Holden?” so that if he becomes a pot dealer, his name will be passing clever. I'm running an ongoing bet on what the baby's first words will be, either, "dude where's my car?" or "winter is coming." I hope she isn’t here tonight; she could kick my ass. She has a weird energy about her. My sister buys her own weed. That fact in and of itself is evidence that she is a pot head, because girls typically don't have to buy their own weed; it's just given to them for free like Pokémon cards or misogyny. Actually I might be wrong about the weed and Pokémon cards; the only person I polled was my girlfriend and anyone else I've given Pokémon cards and weed to. The misogyny is free though, unfortunately.

A lot of guys don't seem to understand sexism; I just think they hate the idea of having to question their male privilege. These are the same type of guys who say things like, "why isn't there a white history month?" What's ridiculous is that there are some guys who understand why that line is fucking moronic, but are consistently finding themselves saying, "I didn't mean it like that. Quit being so sensitive." after making date rape jokes. I'm talking, of course, about assholes. These guys typically grow up to be staff writers for TV shows like "How I Met Your Mother." Although, not really. It does seem like it though, when you watch that show. It's such a good humored show about love and friendship, full of clever gags and charming continuity and a "b word" and "s word" quota of about 20 uses per episode. I don't think the writers of this show realize how abrasive hearing these words is, especially when it clashes with an otherwise funny and clever script. It's like hanging out with a bunch of adorable babies who happen to smoke crack.

I'm a comedian, kind of, and the typical career goal for a comedian is to land a television deal, but I refuse to ever accept a deal for a TV show until sexism is completely eradicated from the mainstream media landscape, or until someone offers me a TV show. I'm just being realistic; my convictions aren't the strongest in the world. I've quit smoking pot about 37 times...this year. While I do seem to mention pot a lot in my act, I think it's more important that I talk about sexism as well. A lot of male comedians like to tell sexist jokes, and more often that not, these sexist jokes are delivered under the guise of shock value humor. Shock value is this tool available to comedians that if properly utilized can supply them with a shortcut to mainstream success. This utilization is referred to as "shock humor" and was at its best around 70 years ago in the form of little palm buttons that electrocuted those who were foolish enough to shake hands with a jokester, and also Sarah Silverman does well for herself. In most cases, these jokes are just lazy and easy to get away with. The frustrating part is that in the case of most famous comedians who are known for their shock humor, their true comedic assets are better defined by their other material. To me, Daniel Tosh's funniness doesn't stem from his douchey frat-boy jokes; what I laugh at is his self ridicule disguised as arrogant boastfulness and his bouts of absurdist humor. In my opinion, most things that require the subsequent statements of, "I didn't mean it that way, you're just being sensitive, or comedy is about free speech." are usually best left unsaid. Also, comedy isn't about free speech; it's about fart jokes and voice inflection. I know this part of my act isn't that funny, but I'm really just saying this stuff because I want there to be a spotlight on every male comedian that gets away with making rape jokes just by delivering them with an, "I'm not really sexist, you guys" face. Also, I want to be the first guy to get a positive review on Jezebel.com